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From Kentucky Farms to Idaho Football Fields: Lessons on Discipline and Resilience · The Mentor Sessions

• BigMike Coyle: None of us become who we're meant to be alone. Every story has people who helped write it. So let's talk about them. Welcome to the Mentor Sessions. BigMike: ⁓ I'm excited to have you here with us today. Why don't we start out and just go ahead and I gave a little intro, but give me tell the tell the audience a little bit about yourself and how you got on the journey of being the the coach and the the counselor and mentor that you are. Tony Cade: Yeah man, you know, I'm I'm approaching the the half century mark ⁓ in my life and I I grow up ⁓ grew up in Kentucky. I'm a little far away from Idaho right now, or I mean Idaho, far away from Kentucky, but ⁓ grew up there much ⁓ till I was about 20, hit the road out to Utah, went to Weaver State, ⁓ did that kind of thing, met my wife in Utah. She happened to be from Idaho, so I ended up here. I'm a father of five, ⁓ coaching 26 years, have been in public education for 12 years, ⁓ with the Idaho Department of Juvenile Corrections in the education side of it for the last ⁓ eight years now, and love every minute. of it. ⁓ you know, ⁓ being being a a a dad is a great thing to five kids, but also, you know, I've had several thousands of kids that I've been able to coach over the years and and mentor and be a part of their lives as well. And know, it's just it's just a funny journey. You know, you always look back and you you wish you could have, should have or whatever, but ⁓ at the end of the day everything that ⁓ got you to where you are now, you appreciate and you grew from and and that's kind of where I am, man. I I was raised by a single mom and most of my life. and and ⁓ you know, didn't come from affluent circumstances and I I felt like part of my MO is always giving back to to I don't know if less fortunate's the right word, but just giving back to people who raised me and the way that I was raised by great coaches, great mentors, great people, in my life. ⁓ so that's kind of it. I mean I I got a long bio but ⁓ but ⁓ for me that's that's where I'm at. So BigMike: Welcome back to the mentor sessions. I'm Big Mike. You know, one of the things I've always learned is that the people who make the biggest impacts in our life aren't always the ones with the biggest title. They're our coaches, our teachers, our siblings, and they are the ones who believe in us and challenge us and help us become more than what we could be. Tony is that man. Today's guest is Tony Cade. Tony is a husband, a father of five, educator, coach. He spent a lot of his life coaching football. Why don't you tell us a little bit about growing up in ⁓ Kentucky from a single mom? What part of Kentucky are you from? Tony Cade: Yeah, I'm from Elizabethtown, Kentucky. It's about an hour south of Louisville, Louisville, however you want to pronounce it, but if you're from there, it's Louisville, right? ⁓ yeah, I grew up there, ⁓ a little place called E Town. It's right off of I-65. If you ever go to Indianapolis, all the way down to Birmingham, Alabama, it's right on that that corridor there, right next to Fort Knox. growing up ⁓ was just like anything else. I mean, the south's a little different ⁓ than out west, ⁓ and and and just ⁓ just different demographics and what you BigMike: ⁓ softball working in the Idaho juvenile justice system and he doesn't teach his lessons through a textbook he teaches them through his life and the things he's learned. We're gonna learn about the coaches that helped shape him coach Lewis, Coach Buck, that helped him be the coach that he is today, and how he's gotten through the adversity and struggles in his life. So sit back, relax. Tony Cade: go. You know, I I don't know. You you you ⁓ you you learn culture, you learn ⁓ you learn how to be a southern gentleman sometimes and sometimes you're not. ⁓ grew up with all kinds of different ⁓ races, backgrounds, you name it. We we ran the streets and it was just kind of fun, man. It was a little different growing up in a little I was in a little town of a co like kind of a a farming community and and and so ⁓ growing up there played little league football I did soccer we did the baseball the same thing all America BigMike: And join us for a great conversation. Tony Cade: American kids do growing up. And and my mom, she ⁓ she she came back to Kentucky. She was in the Air Force in Bartsdale, Louisiana, and Bozier City. If you've ever been there, that's where I was born. And she ⁓ separated from my father when I was about one and she went back to where she came from in Kentucky and raised me, put herself through school. She was making $1.50 an hour as a think they call them an LPN. That's what you do before you become a regular nurse, put herself through school and made a whole whopping three dollars and fifty cents and We walked everywhere and didn't really have money for gas. And so anyway, just just living the dream there. And then she remarried when I was about thirteen. That didn't go very well. Me and my stepdad didn't share a lot of the same philosophies and we didn't share a lot of the same ideas. And we wasn't very was a book reader. I was a sports guy and we had a lot of ⁓ conflicts at home and and things like that and ⁓ but grew from that. and then like I said, graduated from Central Harden High School, which is right there in the middle of ⁓ Harden County. Kentucky. Went to Murray State, played football down there for a little bit. then I ended up ⁓ kind of I guess if you want found a religion, served a mission, and I got sir and I got called out to Pocatello, Idaho. So I ended up coming out there and ⁓ and it's funny that I ended up back this way. But ⁓ anyway, so that's kind of the long and short of it. I went to Weaver State, played a little bit of football down there, ⁓ figured out I wasn't going to the NFL, so I might as well get serious about life. So I got a job and I was going to school and found a job. That I sold counter toss making $40,000 a year at a little kiosk in the Ogden City Mall. ⁓ I didn't need school, right? You're making $40,000. Why do you need to go to school? And like I said, my wife was a teacher there in Ogden, Utah, a little place called D Elementary. and met her there. Job opportunity opera ⁓ opened up in Idaho Falls, Idaho. ⁓ that's where my company was from. And so I took it. They gave me the Jackson market, the Montana, the Utah, and Idaho market. So we moved to Idaho Falls and I've Guess I've never looked back. I just went west to Boise, so that's where I'm at right now. BigMike: That's ⁓ that is quite I was wondering what brought you out here, if it was ⁓ playing for Weaver State. When when were you at Weaver State? Tony Cade: ⁓ I was there two thousand to two thousand two. I was back there when ⁓ Johnny Gray was the running back and Coach Graybell was the head football coach. We battled the University of Montana all the time. We used to kick our butt in the big sky. And so anyway, it was always us and them in the battles every year there at ⁓ Stewart Stadium, it seemed like, or going up to Missoula. And it was it was good times. We had a good time up there and anyway, had had a lot of great ⁓ great memories from there. And like I said, ⁓ you know, I always thought I was athletic until you get to see other kids there as Just as athletic as you are, and especially coming back off a mission, you know. So I walked on. I was ⁓ I played center and outside linebacker, and I was a great scout team member for them. And what got me my ⁓ start at Murray State was long snapping, actually, to believe it or not, out of high school, walked down down there and followed a girl. I had a scholarship to a place called Georgetown, Kentucky, which is a small school out of ⁓ place called ⁓ Georgetown, Kentucky, which is just north of Lexington. I ended up following a girl to Murray State and ⁓ I walked on down here as a long snapper. So anyway, if you ever want a a good way to get into college, become a long snapper. It's a great great opportunity. BigMike: Right. Yeah, long snappers and you listen to Pat McAfee, he he'll talk tell you punters as well. You know, those are those are the positions that are greatly needed, but very overlooked by people trying to be the next ⁓ all all star football player, you know, and they're Tony Cade: Exactly. Yep, exactly. And Yeah, and people don't realize how much time goes into that. I mean, that's kind of a discipline, right? I mean I mean, getting the ball back there and I mean I I'm trying to remember what my coaches used to say. If I couldn't get the ball back there in one point five seconds from the time that ⁓ we snapped the ball, then it was ⁓ you were fired. So and one point five is is quite a long time. I mean, from fifteen yards deep. You know, you watch punters today, you play in a league mic, and and ⁓ I watch some high school kids and they can't even be at fifteen yards. Nobody can get them the ball fifteen yards deep on a punt anymore. They have to be about seven or or eight yards and that's about as far as you can long snap a ball and it gets blocked all the time. So anyway, it's kind of interesting. Yep. Right. BigMike: Right. Yeah. Yeah, no, it's it's har it's hard to do. It's definitely hard to do. ⁓ so you left ⁓ Weeber right before Ron McBride took the job there and and Tony Cade: Yeah, Ron was a little bit after that, right? ⁓ and yeah, he would have been a great coach. He was a character to coach for when he was down at Utah and stuff. But yeah. BigMike: Yeah. So my ⁓ my son, he was ⁓ stationed in ⁓ Fort Campbell ⁓ recently. So I know that's a different part of Kentucky per se, but I will ⁓ testify to what you're saying about the difference between Kentucky and Utah Idaho. It's totally different animals, totally different breeds when you bring those two in. ⁓ Tony Cade: Yep, yep, yep. Well the funny thing is yeah, we played we played Fort Campbell. We go down there and play ⁓ Fort Knox, we played them as well. But you go down to the Screaming Eagles down there at Fort Campbell, Kentucky, and the I believe that's the eighty first airborne down there, correct? Is that if I'm if I'm not mistaken. Hundred and first airborne down there, correct? ⁓ ⁓ what a great ⁓ community, all these armed forces. It's it's funny because Fort Knox used to be the boot camp. when you go out there, they don't do boot camp at Fort Knox anymore. ⁓ but it was like a thriving city. BigMike: A hundred and first, hundred and first. Yeah. Tony Cade: And we would go play there and they bring in aluminum bleachers all around the stadium and they would have all the guys there for boot camp banging on the aluminum bleachers. You couldn't hear a thing. And nobody had a dog in the fight from those from those battalions. But on a Friday night, it was loud, it was happening, and ⁓ for a small school, and you could hear those sergeants, you'll cheer, and you'll cheer loud. And I mean, it was a battle. I mean, every time we go down there. And I always wonder why Mountain Home wasn't more like that. I mean, honestly, you know, I played football in Mountain Home. I mean, up here, you know, you'd think you go to these military bases. And it was pretty happening, man. And ⁓ it's it was it's definitely interesting. But is your son in the is your son in the airborne? Is that what he's doing? BigMike: Well, you gotta think Yeah, he's he's ⁓ he's ⁓ air assault now. He's but he he does wear an airborne tab. my my son in law, who's also military, will tell me there's a difference and Jake will tell me there's a difference, but being a civilian my whole life, I don't know the difference. I'm just proud of both of ⁓ Jake's now stationed up in ⁓ Alaska is where he's at now. So ⁓ Tony Cade: ⁓ Yeah. Right. That's awesome. Good for him. My s my son's ⁓ National Guard here in Idaho and ⁓ he joined and he's working on the Blackhawks there at Gowan. So he's in fact right now he's up here for his two weeks ⁓ for the summer, so they're up there doing their drill. but the same type of thing. And he always talked about going to air strike school and airborne and yeah, I mean he wasn't full enlist, he just went to the National Guard. So but interesting. That's that's awesome. Good for them. BigMike: Yeah, yeah, I'm super proud of him. He's Jake Jake was a kid that ⁓ and and he knows this, I'm not spilling any secrets, but we battled a lot when he was a teenager and to see him grow up and become the man that he is now, I couldn't be more proud. I couldn't be more proud. ⁓ y ⁓ talk Tony Cade: Yeah. Isn't that interesting though, Mike? It's interesting, right? You got my kid was the same way. I could never see him taking orders from anybody, especially his own dad, and and ⁓ and then he goes to Fort Sill, Oklahoma, which he swears he never wants to go back for boot camp again in his life, and then ⁓ and then ⁓ ends up ends up in Fort Eustace, ⁓ you know, doing his AIT. But i you know, in and and a good segue here is, you know, as a coach, I I've I mean I grew up next to Fort Knox and everything else, but I really wasn't a military guy just like you were talking about, but I always brought the National Guard in. You know, our two a days during the first weeks of football camp, I'd always bring the National Guard guys, the local guys in, and they would come in and do my first two two a days. I would put all my teams through that ⁓ team building with the logs and the heavyweighted vest and I'd let the drill sergeants just get on ⁓ and I'd watch kids talk back to them and they'd have to do crab walks for fifty yards and I'm like, hey guys And I felt bad sometimes, like as a head coach, I'm watching this and and I'm just going, man, you guys, you got to understand what discipline is. And these guys have been through it. And ⁓ and it was a great, ⁓ great ⁓ I guess, ⁓ temperature or climate for me to understand where these teams, when I'd first take over, these were like the first groups that I would ever have. And I'd bring the National Guard into every one of my programs. it was just so fun to watch the team change from being so society. selfish to be in team centered just in those two or three days that you would bring some some discipline and some structure and and that goes about a little bit about what we're going to talk about today in mentorship and discipline and owning actions and and I just think it's awesome to see those types of guys that you get around kids that need it. ⁓ in my life I wasn't very disciplined growing up. Like I said I could do whatever I wanted. My mom worked seven to seven and I ran the streets. I went home whenever I wanted then I got a stepdad that told me I had to be home at a certain time and it didn't work very well and you know, it's ⁓ definitely a a a learning curve for a lot of a lot of individuals in life. BigMike: It it definitely is. Now I was I was just about to ask you about that. You know, you you talk about being raised by a single mom who worked hard ⁓ for you, to to raise you guys, and then bringing in a s ⁓ you had a stepdad that ⁓ was I'm sure that was a totally different experience having someone around the house. when you were growing up, ⁓ you got heavily involved in sports, what kind of impact did a lot of those coaches have on you? Tony Cade: Well, I'll be I'll be honest with you. So before even my stepdad came in the picture, I I played soccer. I mean, I was a soccer kid and I was great at it. I mean, I was like going traveling great. In about third grade I got fat. And I don't understand why, right? You know, and I I shouldn't use those words you know, loosely, but you know, I went from being pretty skinny, pretty quick. my grandfather, ⁓ I called him papa, always my mom's dad, basically was my father figure growing up and and like I said, my mom went back to where she grew up and and and my my grandfather, pretty much was raising me. I I mean just why my mom was going to school and working and he would take me to school and he passed away when I was in third grade and it's amazing to see, you know, and and working with kids now in my life and seeing trauma that happens and people don't really recognize trauma sometimes. But things that happen in your life that makes things pivot for you without even like acknowledging that that's happening. I look back at it now and that was a pivot point in my life where I started just eating and gaining weight and just I don't know, giving up's not the right word, but just not being who I was because something traumatic happened. And at that point I didn't think it was traumatic, but ⁓ he was a big piece of my life and and ⁓ and so then then I had a I had a ⁓ a friend of mine who says I I and I kept playing soccer and I just got slow and I started just not being very good at it. And ⁓ I had a friend says, Come play baseball, co ⁓ Tony. And I said, sure. And then I had a coach in Kentucky. Now here's the difference. And in even in today's world, I had a coach who put a catcher's mask right over top your face. He put us all out in the outfield and he would just whiz fastballs right at your face. Like just throw it right at your face. Right? I mean, just as fast as you can. And and you know, we hear all these stories of coaches and stuff, and and I'm going, you know, I'm out there, never h picked up a bat in my life, never had a glove, and I'm trying to raise my glove. It just ain't going fast enough. And I'm like, this sport really sucks. I hate it. So I wasn't a baseball guy. So then I had ⁓ another friend of mine who says, you know what? You're you're a fat kid. You ought to come play center for us. So I ended up in the Etown Panthers. The high school team was the Panthers mascot, but they had a E they had the Etown Youth Football League, which was tackle football. And it was interesting because you play flag football, then you get drafted. They had a draft day, and I kid you not, it's it's an interesting con concept. And maybe I know there's more that do it, but you go from flag football, they draft you on a Saturday. All the all the tackle coaches come into the community center and look at all the kids who are of age now to play tackle and they draft you. ⁓ And a serious draft. They look at like how fast you are, how what how big you are, what size pants you wear. You know, we go and do all that stuff, and then you get a call from a coach and says you're on our team, or you're not, or you get called for the other team. And so I played for the Elizabeth Town Panthers and It was great, and we always battled the ⁓ Elizabethtown Wildcats. I believe it enough in Kentucky, the Wildcats, right? But anyway, in the Super Bowl, they had the whole thing, and and that's where I really found my love for football. I had a guy named Coach Smith, and he was a hard coach. I'm I'm probably 10 years old at this time, and and ⁓ ⁓ I love about Coach Smith, and and it's funny, he just retired from coaching football two years ago. I mean, the guy had to I I think he's 78 years old and just retired. Hired in the Elizabeth Town Football League out there. But the guy loved kids and he was honest with kids and he would coach his rear end off for any kid, no matter who you were, what color you were, where you came from. He wanted to win. And our league team won. And it was about you stretch from the time that we did right over left. And if you didn't touch your toes, he was ⁓ on right? And it was just the little things that made us, you know, appreciate discipline. And you can Say what you want, kids have changed, structures changed, generations have changed, and and the hard coaching just probably isn't the same anymore, which I can kind of agree with a lot of because I'm still in it. But but those are the ones that that shaped you. And so that was really my first mentor. I'll be honest with you, after my grandfather passed away, Coach Smith would pick me up, take me to practice when my mom couldn't. it was either that or I'd miss practice. And he would he would come, pick me up, drop me off. really, and I wasn't the only one. he had a he had a ⁓ I think it was called an azuzu. I can't remember, but he would put six kids in the back of this little azuzu and drive around Etown. Yeah. And he would he would put us in and he would just pull up right on the curb and we would jump out and he would just leave. I mean that's what it was. he would pull up on the curb and we would jump in and ⁓ he would take off. And so those ⁓ BigMike: I think it might have been the Isuzu Trooper. I think I remember those back in those days. Yeah. And let's refresh people in memory. Six kids and a Susu trooper was a tight fit. That was a tight fit. Tony Cade: Yeah, yeah. So Yeah. So anyway, those were those were kind of fun. And then moving on to ⁓ to middle school, ⁓ same thing. I had a great coach, football coach, and I just played football at this point. I didn't do anything else. ⁓ besides I started picking up a basketball, playing outside basketball. I know it's a it's a kind of a lost lost art now, but we used to play basketball outside on driveways and everything else and we used to call it chuck ball. Nobody had refs. We just hit each other. We play football. There's no organi or f you know, it was no organized basketball and And in Kentucky you you either were really good at basketball, you but yeah, no blood, no foul. And so anyway BigMike: No blood, no foul. No blood, no foul, right? I said, no blood, no foul. You know, you keep going. Tony Cade: That's right. It and and when it snowed and you know in Kentucky we had ice storms and and we would play outside and it was just ice. It wasn't snow. It was just ice, right? And we would just play chuck ball. We just throwing people into snow banks. It was great. I I look back at it today, I'm like, I don't know how I didn't die. But anyway, and so so anyway, going to middle school, ⁓ still kind of bigger kid, about seventh grade. I started growing up instead of out. ⁓ playing basketball, loved it, tried out for a team. Coach Kaplinger was his name, and he was always BigMike: Yeah. Tony Cade: about explode, explode. He was just, I mean, like if you watch a guy, a drill sergeant guy, he was just always in your face, just intense all the time, just just the dude. And really love Coach Kaplinger. I'm playing at the city schools in Elizabethtown, Kentucky. Made the basketball team my seventh grade year because I could actually shoot. It was pretty fun. Never played it in my life, organized basketball. And then my mom gets remarried, ⁓ going back to my stepdad. And stepdad was an army guy. Play ⁓ he was in Desert Storm the first First troops going into Iraq out of Kuwait. And great guy. I mean, like I look at it today, and I I mean I shouldn't have gave the guy such a hard time, but when we were growing up, we didn't agree. And anyway, he decides to move me and my mom. I'm an only child. Move me and my mom out to the country, a little place called Rhinyville, Kentucky, right outside Elizabethtown. It's about 20 miles outside the city. And course, that means I have to change schools, right? And I have to go to county school now and not to a city school. Just made the basketball team. Team, loving life. And I'm just going, where am I going right now? This is ridiculous. And ⁓ another, another probably, know, ⁓ in the armor of me and my stepdad. I hate it, right? I hate him for doing it. ⁓ new friends, made the basketball team. I actually loved it. Made the county school team at West Harden High School. I one of four freshmen that got to dress JV in football at Central Harden. Central Harden was a new high school that just got built. And and Anyway, so so I'm out of county school now, loving life. It goes to ninth grade at this school, so you're the big man. So seventh, eighth grade, ninth grade. Now I'm now we're not in the high school. Then you go to high school, central hardened high school, and you're a tenth grader and you're back on the lower end of the podium, right? And you're not the big man on campus anymore. And met Coach Lewis. Coach Lewis, another great mentor in my life. ⁓ in fact, I keep in touch with him all the time. just just a great leader. And you know what was great about him, Mike, was Here's a his a here's a mentor, and you have these in your life as well. he didn't say much. I mean he never yelled at you, he never said anything. He's the head coach of a school of about twenty five hundred kids. we're the county school, the school up the road at North Harden was the school of like the city kids, and Etown was the independent school. But Coach Lewis was the type of guy that you just never wanted to disappoint. And ⁓ He didn't have to say it. I mean you didn't have to you didn't have to ⁓ you didn't have to get yelled at by Coach Lewis. He would just look at you and you knew you just did something wrong or you disappointed the man. and I remember in high school ⁓ would I was not always the greatest student and I would always never take paper and pencil to class and I always cheat off the hot girl next to me and my girlfriend's best friend was next to me and I said I need a pencil and paper and I still remember one day my English teacher says, No, you're not getting that today. In fact you're gonna go Ask Coach Lewis for a pencil and paper. And I said, No. I said, No. Anybody but Coach Lewis. I I mean, and she goes, in fact, you're gonna have to sign a piece of paper that says you went to him and got this pencil and paper. And her name was Miss Legans, and I'll never forget this moment, Mike. ⁓ I walked out there and I probably spent ⁓ I think those classes were fifty minutes at the time, and I probably spent 45 minutes. BigMike: ⁓ man. Tony Cade: Contemplate my life before I went to Coach Lewis and asked him. And ⁓ and it was funny because I walked into his office way out in the ⁓ field house I said, Coach, I didn't have I don't have a pencil and paper. I forgot it in my mom's car. He goes, You're so full of crap, Kay, drive it. And he's like, Here's pencil, here's a paper. It's all he said to me. Signed the note. Than than saw him after practice and he would just look at me and never said a word. And I just knew I disappointed the guy, right? Just in that one moment. And and then but he still loved me, right? He still picked me up after that. It wasn't like he ignored me. But I just remember that and this was in tenth grade, Mike. I mean, I've I'm I'm probably sixteen at the time and probably one of the biggest life memories I've ever or life lessons I ever had was that that moment ⁓ going back and and then I follow him because he was a great teacher as well. Great educator. He taught weights for Peach Dragon. It wasn't great, but ⁓ loved his class. Never wanted to miss his class. and just a mentor that way, and how he taught, and how he talked, and how he walked, and he'd walk into a room and everybody'd just be quiet, right? And and I always looked up and aspired to be guys like him, right? And so then moving on, ⁓ you know, I'll fast forward a little bit. ⁓ served my mission, a lot of great experiences in Idaho, a lot of great people, loved it. again, I go from a place that had First Street Baptist churches every corner or Catholic church to a place that has LDS churches every corner. And and so ⁓ going like there is such a thing as vocabulary discrimination, like we were just talking about. terms like jack wagons and numbnuts don't fly very well out here in Idaho, ⁓ like did in Kentucky and and and so anyway I fast forward I come back I love coaching I get into construction I'm selling countertops like I talked about in Ogden and I'm doing it in about I don't know 2007 2006 I I'm selling I'm making a lot of money I'm templating I'm collecting money we're doing big houses everything's going great I look in the mirror and I go where am I going to be in 30 years this is a family ran business I'm not part of the family So what am I gonna do? And I had my first kid and I said, I can do this on my own. Right. And in 2007, I had two kids at the time, actually. I started my own countertop business and we're doing really good. We're busting out all kinds of countertops and and just doing a really good job. And then about 09, I I don't know if you remember 2009, about everything just it was like the faucet turned off for construction. Yeah. ⁓ so we we closed up and I and I'm coaching at Blackfoot. So BigMike: ⁓ I remember. I remember. Tony Cade: Funny thing is, I started coaching Little League football, Sand Creek South, which was a great little football team. I started when they were fourth grade. We battled a lot of good skyline teams, a lot of good teams. We ended up in the championship for three years. We win it. a lot of great kids, a lot of great families. In that time, I took a varsity spot over at Blackfoot High School. And if you know anything about Blackfoot, Hillcrest, that whole area, that's a rival school. So I'm coaching varsity Blackfoot. I'm coaching Little League Sand Creek. ⁓ I'm bellying up my company now and I'm going, what can I do? So I go back to school and become a teacher. I go to Idaho State University, I get my degree, I do summer school, I busted it out in three years. I become a teacher. I get my first job at Sand Creek Middle School up in Idaho Falls, but I'm on the varsity staff down in Blackfoot and I can literally look out my window, Mike, and I can see Hillcrest practicing because the practice feels right out the window. And I'm going, what is going on, man? And and I'm coaching these little guys and we're winning and everything's going great. And then a guy named Darren Owen showed up to Hillcrest. He ran the butt sniffer or the double wing, if you know what that is. And nobody knew how to stop it. It's the most brain numbing offense you'll ever mean. It's three yards and a cloud of dust, but people win with it, and everybody wants to run it until they figure it out. So why I say all this and I I won't bore everybody with it, but Coach Buck, Stan Buck, was the head coach at Blackfoot High School. And Coach Buck was was probably one of the biggest influences of my entire life. And why I say that is he was a lot like Coach Lewis was to me in high school. I started out, he gave me the job as a freshman defensive coordinator at Blackfoot High School. We had a great group. me and couple other coaches, we were young, and I got to be up in the box on Friday nights of every varsity game and I could be in the ear of of of the offensive coordinator. It was great. And I learned a lot. what I liked about Coach Buck is he wanted guys who wanted to be head coach. He didn't want guys to just be coaches. And if he hired you to be the defensive line coach, you better be the best defensive line coach in America. You didn't care that you didn't know anything about D Bs or quarterbacks or running backs. You better know everything there is to know about D line. And he he gave you that autonomy, right? And he let you coach. And if he if he heard you say something wrong, he would correct you. But I heard the guy talk to kids, like I'm going, how do you say that to a kid, coach? Like he's like, you know, you're just average. You know, you're just an average. You're just average kid. And and I'm going, man, that's tough. That's tough love. And this is 2002, 2004, somewhere in that neighborhood. And if you know anything about Blackfoot football, is they come a long way. And if you went to play Blackfoot, you always got punched in the mouth, no matter if winner, lose, or draw. In about 2008, we figured it out. We ended up in five state championships from 2008 to 2012. We won four of those. We had back-to-back, lost a BK at Albertson Stadium, and won two more. But I'm looking at these kids and I'm going, I can't believe these kids will listen to a coach like this. But every day those kids came back, and he was kind of the same thing my coach Lewis was. They were just scared to disappoint the guy. Right? They played for him, they would run through a wall for him, and he didn't say. He would tell them what they did wrong right there in the moment. It wasn't like pulling him to the side, giving him a hug. It was telling them you're playing like whatever. And he would tell them exactly what they did wrong in the moment. And they would correct it. And if they didn't correct it, it was next guy up, right? And they knew that. and what I got out of that was, man, kids really appreciate the honesty that people give to them. A lot of times parents Other people from the outside, when they hear you talk to kids sometimes, they they don't see the the Monday through Thursday, they just see the Friday nights they don't see the relationship that you do build with certain kids over time. But kids just want to be told the truth, right? And and and they want structure. And I don't care what generation they're from, it's true for everybody. I've been I've taken over bad programs. That's been my MO Mike. I think you know me a little bit. I I've gone over and taken some bad programs and the reason they're bad that I mean you can look at it. It starts at the top and and everybody wants to cry change, Mike, but nobody wants to change, right? I mean you you want a cry change, but then you change it and nobody wants the change that it takes to get there. and what I really appreciate about Coach Buck was was just his his belief, his trust in me. And just his honesty. And he was honest to the coaches just like he was the kids. He didn't treat anybody differently. And and a lot of people didn't like Coach Buck. He won. They thought he was an arrogant son of a gun. But the people within his circle, he was the first guy to give his coat off to you, man. He would be the first guy to help you out if you ever needed anything. ⁓ and that's what I really appreciate about people like him. And and I didn't have the mantra he had, and I didn't have the you know, the state titles as a head coach, and even though I was from that coaching tree. When I take it over those those jobs, a lot of people I acted like Coach Buck a lot of times because that's what I learned it from for thirteen years and to the good and the bad, but sometimes you gotta realize who you're talking to and the people around you, right? So anyway, great mentor. Yep. BigMike: Yeah. So let ⁓ let me ask a couple of questions. You you brought up a couple ⁓ points and ⁓ I think it'll be fun to explore ⁓ a little bit. You talked about how he ⁓ first off, he would let an average know, you know, well, you're just average. Now saying that to to a kid and even to an adult, saying that to anyone, where it comes from is ha what's gonna have the impact on the person, right? you can say it to to someone ⁓ and Tony Cade: You bet. BigMike: They're they'll take it to heart as, okay, he sees me as average, now I need to go be above average. Or, you know, they that's the kid. Some of those are the kids that ⁓ as as those of us in the coaching world and and working with youth and stuff like that, you see it as a direct insult to their ego, and the next thing you know, you're getting calls from mom and dad about how how can you say that to my kid and stuff like that. So when he would say that to kids, what was the the general response he would get back from them? Tony Cade: Yes, sir. I mean that's I mean that's what it was. I mean for the kids who who played a lot. I mean, but there were some kids that quit. I mean there were some kids that would pack it up, but you know what? I mean he didn't go beg ⁓ back. And then about two or three days later that kid would show up and ask for, you know, his pads back to come back. And after they thought about what he was saying. And you bring up a great point, you know, you can personalize this, you can take it to heart, or you can actually just reflect on why he said that. And In my own and and Coach Buck's still around, right? And so I don't know if he'll watch this, but ⁓ but you're right. They came back better. It wasn't the fact that they were average anymore. What they were doing in the moment was average and he would point it out. you know, I got a whole team of eighty kids over here and eleven that are starting and you're playing average right now. I'll get Johnny over here, he'll do the same thing you you're doing right now. So the next day you you better not be like Johnny, right? And and or Johnny's gonna take your spot. So I really appreciate that because then it it br it it bred a little competition too, right? I mean, you know, he would always say, You ever played Madden? I mean, hit triangle. Like just hit the triangle button. Like he would say that stuff and I'm going, here's a fifty year old guy talking about PlayStation and he's never played in his life. And I'm going and then he would say, If you ever played football outside? Like he would just tell the kid that, like you ever played football outside? Like you ever go in your backyard and just play football? Like, 'cause you're not you don't even understand the game, right? And I'm going, Wow. It's like, wow. And he would say things, you know, ⁓ and and maybe Kobe Pearson. I don't know if you know who Kobe Pearson is. ⁓ Kobe Pearson was a great football player. He played at BYU, got a tryout with the Green Bay Packers. He hurt his ankle. I mean, I heard him say, and, you know, in 26 years, I've never coached the worst, you're the worst receiver I've ever coached in my life. Right? In 26 years, I've never coached him. And I'm going, that kid isn't going to come back. Like, he ain't coming back. And the next day Kobe came back, and you know what? He said every record of Blackfoot. I mean, you you you go and you just listen to that and and and and flip this around a little bit. The types of kids who were listening to this, they didn't personalize it, they internalized it to be better because they were coachable. that coachability from them caused them to reflect on what that their situation was right in that moment. And and Mike, Part of my life and and we'll talk about it. I know this is one of your questions getting ready come up, but but pivot pivot points for even me taking criticism. We don't like criticism, just like you were saying. Even an adult getting called average. How dare you say average? We're gonna fight right now, right? Or whatever. Or you can actually think about why they're saying that. you can you can either it's how you respond, right? ⁓ you respond to criticism, how do you respond to feedback, how do you respond when life doesn't go your way. has been a big lesson I've learned in my entire life. And and and I share that with my kids. I share that with my those that I'm ⁓ I'm over, my teachers, my kids that I coach. You can't control what someone's gonna say about you and you can't control rumors. All you can control is your response to it and how you respond to it is your actions, your words, and fighting harder and proving people wrong. ⁓ if you want to personalize it and just stay stuck in the mud, Because someone put you down. If you care about their opinion, like I did with my coaches, like I didn't want to disappoint someone. It isn't about making everybody happy. It was the certain people that I had the relationship with that could tell me that I was average. Because he built a relationship for me and I trusted everything the guy said. and and and that's where I'm at in my life as a mentor. I think it's a huge, huge part of it. People don't always like being told how to do something, what to do, how they should do it, how high to jump. But you gotta build a rapport with someone. And once you build that rapport with someone, they're gonna trust and they're gonna value what you say to and I get emotional about this because it's happened to me at all these bad programs. I mean, I my first head coach job in American Falls High School, sixteen varsity kids. Right. And we had no business. We went five and five, made the playoffs. I played Shelly. They dressed sixty-four kids. I kid you not, I'm in the Holta Arena. There's sixty-four kids on that sideline. I had sixteen, I had five kids on my sideline when my starters were out there. And I remember the idols, ⁓ the ⁓ I forget what is it, it's not the statesman, whatever the ⁓ Pocatello paper was. He came to me and says, Man, everybody told me that you only had sixteen kids, and I thought they were full of crap until you see this. Right? And Every one of those 16 kids bought into what we were doing. And I remember it to this day. One of the kids, Tyler Beck, came to me right after that game and he says, Next season starts now, coach. And that's what he said. And the next year I had 50 kids come out for football. And then the next year we had 75 getting ready to come before I went to Burley. And it was the first time American Falls were going to have, you know, a freshman team for the first time in a lot of years. But it was the fact that Everybody else would see how hard like I would coach and it was passion. And I love the Nick Saban quote, Mike. Do you know that that is? You know what Nick Saban's quote is? What does he say? Passion looks like aggression to the unmotivated. Right? And and Yeah, and and and I'm that guy. Like you will see me at a basketball game. You know, a lot of people are scared to give me a basketball job. You're like BigMike: He's got plenty. Yeah. That's a great that's a great quote. Tony Cade: Man, you seen Coach Kate on a Friday night on a sideline put him inside a gym? This might be crazy, right? And and Yeah. So anyway, and and and again, coming back from the south over here, the dynamics are a little different, right? And and how you coach and how you and football's life, basketball's life. Out here it's just ⁓ we're just happy to be here sometimes, right? And and so so the passion looks different to other people and BigMike: Next Bobby Knight. Tony Cade: And what I'm getting at is is people see that passion and if you've never been around passionate people that really wear it on their sleeve or come from the heart, it does look like aggression. It looks like it. And and people miss miss ⁓ they just they I don't know what the right answer is. They just they put you in a different column. And I used to internalize that. I used to take it personal. And I used to I used to I I don't know, I'd fight back about it a lot. Now I don't care about their opinions. You know, the the the pivotal point in my life probably ten years ago was stop worrying what other people think about you. Would you even value their opinion? Do you respect those people who talk crap about you? Do you even do would you even go and call them on a Friday night and say, Man, what could I have done better? You wouldn't even ask them what you're what they thought of you. But yet you're listening to what they think of you. that was the biggest turning point in my life as a coach, as a person, when when stop worrying what other people think about you. Would you even value their opinion? Do you respect those people who talk crap about you? would you even go and call them on a Friday night and say, Man, what could I have done better? You wouldn't even ask them what you're what they thought of you. But yet you're listening to what they think of you. And that was the biggest turning point in my life as a coach, as a person, I mean, I was in the spotlight. I'm a polarizing person. People call me Trump before there was Trump. And I and I and and and I get that, right? I get that because I don't let things die. I never let things die. I would fight at it. I would go at it there every bar every dog that barked, I would go fight it. Every time I heard it. you will waste a lot of your life if you go after every dog that barks at you. And if you care about everybody's opinion but your own and the people that you value. ⁓ in your life in the circle that you put. And I try to teach my kids that too. Would you ever listen to that? Would you even go out of dinner with them and they're talking bad about you? Would you even would it matter what they say if you don't have that that high of opinion about ⁓ Right? And and I think that's a lot lot of life. a lot of us care about what other people think about us. And and to a to a point you should, if they're bad, but some point BigMike: For sure. Tony Cade: Failure, if you care about your failures and what other people say about you, you're just gonna be stuck. You're never gonna move forward. And ⁓ I love Winston Churchill's quote. I think I shared it with you, but you know, when you talk about you know, success is going from failure to failure without hesitation, right? ⁓ you're only gonna be successful from your failures to your failures and do it with this some enthusiasm because you can laugh about it, and when you start laughing about your failures ⁓ and you can just pick yourself up ⁓ and keep going, or you can just stay down on the ground and let other people beat you down for every failure that you have and play the victim part. you know, I think that's been my biggest life lesson, Mike. I mean honestly, as a mentor, as a as a coach, those successes is is how you do it with enthusiasm. And people have tried to make me a monster. People have said things that frankly have not even been close to truth. ⁓ and other people I g I'll be honest with you, Mike, I get mad more mad at the people who believe it than I do at the people saying it. Right? And and it's like you're gonna believe someone that doesn't even know. BigMike: Yeah. Well, it it it's hard when someone who knows you comes to you and says, Hey, I just heard this and it's like, You've known me for how long? Is that really what you wanted let them say that ⁓ were what who were you in the room? You know, were you the voice to say, like, that's not the Tony I know? That's you know, that's and did you just let them say it and you know, let it sit there without defending you. That that's how Those are the ones I get sad and frustrated with the most are the ones that I thought were my friends that I thought were going to have my back and they let the the negativity be said, you know, because you can't change people's opinions about you. ⁓ I I was thinking about this earlier this week with an incident that happened with me during law enforcement and you know, ⁓ s ⁓ that I thought had my back didn't, but then those that had my I knew would have my back, they did, and I know they did and And that's what was ⁓ that's what matters to me. and you don't want ⁓ and and the funny thing is th these are stories, you know, this was a particular incident that's ten plus years old now and and it's funny how things like that creep back up, you know, and you kind of alluded to this pivot po point. ⁓ me there, pivot point. and I don't know how much you wanna get into it. I I know I know the story a little bit from conversations and and from things, but ⁓ Tony Cade: Yeah. BigMike: You know, I know it was a a very defining moment to you, ⁓ at the time and and I also know that you have taken the lessons you've learned from that and have really pushed forward to share those important messages that you've learned from it. Tony Cade: Yeah, you know, and just like you said, ⁓ like, you know, who's saying it? Why are they saying it? Were you around me? Do you know the facts? Do you know whatever? And if you you know, you asked me about a pivot point. ⁓ one the biggest ones is I took over Burley High School. I went for American Falls. ⁓ I get fired there, didn't get I just Burley called me. They hadn't won a lot of football games. They love what I did in American Falls. We kind of turned it around. Not in wins and losses, but just bringing it back to normal and they had the same problem. They're a four A school, fifty-six kids playing football, not a lot of kids out, and things like that. And and I went down there, we ended up ⁓ I I I'll give you a funny story, ⁓ the starting the pivot point. Loved my time in Burley. I'll be honest with the community's great and Burley loved it, ⁓ every minute of it. my always been not getting along with the administration and sometimes you gotta wear that hat and that's one lesson I learned as a coach. You know, you I can I can get along with parents and families and kids and I can count on one hand or two hands now. Problems in 26 years of kids and parents, six times. Out of every kid I've ever coached, my problem has always been admin. And and anyway, so when I went to Burley High School, same problem. ⁓ I said, how does a four A school not have a freshman football team? I I shook my head. I I had no idea. We had nice facility, turf field, great weight room, everything was awesome. And I said, we are not not gonna have a freshman football team at 4A classification. And so we dressed, I kid you not, I dressed 13 kids my first game against Century High School. Century comes rolling in and two charter buses, Mike. Two charter buses, right? Comes rolling in with their JV and freshmen. I I had ⁓ I had I had 13 kids dressed as freshmen. Didn't even I didn't bring down sophomores or anybody else. And we're down thirty-two to twenty-four at halftime. Great game, right? We end up winning that game thirty-six to thirty-two. As a freshman, eleven kids. I think it's because they took some of their freshmen and brought ⁓ up the JV, but I I I whatever the reason. And next week, coach, I had forty kids from that high school come out for freshman football. Forty kids, right? Because now ⁓ just win that hasn't happened in a lot of years. They came out, right? And it was awesome. It was awesome to see. They had to wait their 10 days to play. You know, that they couldn't play the next game. They they fought through that. I ended up going into going into the equipment room and we had pads. They just played this place called Budgefield. It was a dirt or a grass field. And they had pads still with dirt in them, right? I mean, they'd been on turf for 15 years before I got there. And they had these and I had to start putting kids in these pads that were probably 30, 40 years old from the old day. And I'm going, okay, we got a problem now. Because now the next year, my second year of burly I have 125 I had a well not that's not this that's not true. I had 90 kids my second year we didn't have enough equipment. And I went to the ministration, I thought, listen, ⁓ don't have enough equipment for And they Well, I don't know what you're gonna do about it. Just put them in the old equipment. You put the freshmen in the old helmets and the old show. I'm like, I I I was baffled. I was just baffled. And they didn't even have an understanding that you had to recondition helmets. These are the principals at your high school foray didn't even know you reconditioned helmets every three years. And we had a great booster who bought a hundred helmets ⁓ they didn't understand that you can't just recondition them every three years. A hundred, you gotta put them on some kind of rotation. So you don't have to come up with five grand every year to do all hundred helmets. Anyway, come down there and and I'm just shaking my head. And these are the things, these are the problems that I'm having there at Burley High School, right? It's just like, and it's growing pains and it's great. We're having a great time. I win three games, right? I beat Buell High School in triple overtime my first year down there. I get water dumped on me, Mike. Buell High School is a three A little school. ⁓ and I'm like, God, you can't dump water on a coach for beating a three A school that you should be walking all over all the time. But the kids loved it. The third year I get asked to resign because I went out to Donnelly Sports and Donnelly was a friend of mine and he says, I'll give you three years to pay for these shoulder pads coach. So I did it. They said that's not how we do things here, so they asked me to resign. I never will forget it. ⁓ I had my kids down there, everything's going good. My wife's a school teacher, she's teaching down there. I a quote ⁓ on Facebook. And it says it's a billionaire quote. I don't know if you ever get the billionaire mindset quotes every day that kind of inspire you. And it says, take a risk. If you win, you you'll be happy. If you lose, you'll learn something. But in the background, I didn't even look at the background, is Jason Statham holding a silencer in his movie trailer for the mechanic. School board sees this post, right? Because they're asking me to resign. I I don't know when they're asking or they're gonna fight this at the school board. It's at Oakley High School that night, or not that night, but that week. and I post this because everybody wants to know when they can come support me. I post it, it's Oakley High School. If you want to support it, great, show up. I post that picture. I get called in by the superintendent. I got the sheriff, the SRO's in the office saying I'm threatening to shoot up a school, you need to turn your keys in, you're on admin to leave. paid leave for ⁓ until a further investigation. And I'm going, What? Like, what are you talking about? Kids love me at the school. I'm teaching history. I mean, I'm teaching I mean, I I'm the last guy to be that guy. And the SRO's like, yeah, you're not that guy, coach, but I still have to take you downtown and read, read the questions. And I'm sitting there thinking, my gosh. And the superintendent time and I'll leave him nameless. He knew exactly what he was doing because that meeting was at Oakley High School on that Wednesday night of that week of that Monday, right? it turned out that I had five hundred people show up to this little high school in Oakley. They were doing it in the library for the school board meeting. They had to move it to the gym. They called the Cassie County Sheriffs to show up because they're thinking that there's gonna be a riot down there. And I incited it because I posted this, right? And I'm going, My gosh, this is the Trump before there was Trump, right? This is two thousand 17. Right. So anyway, I'm going, okay. This is ridiculous. Of course, they they win, right? They always win. The admin, even though there's people in tears, there's parents out there saying, You don't fire Coach Cade. You got a board member saying, Where's the bulletproof seats? You know, it's just ridiculous. And my wife, who is pregnant with my youngest daughter at the time, and and and and I'm getting to the pivot point here. She came home in tears. My daughter was born two weeks later. She was a month early because of the stress. I I totally I totally contributed part of part of the stress. And she survived. I mean, she was in an IQ for a week or whatever, and she's a tough kid and she's seven now. She's doing great. But when I saw five hundred people, and I kid you not, and I didn't have five hundred kids. This is just community members and in a board member in in a board meeting. And I thought to myself, how do people, especially in schools, not listen to their patrons? And they go against this. I had to look myself in the mirror, Mike, and say, you know what? This isn't on them. This is all on me. And I gotta quit blaming other people for my I got to start looking at myself in the mirror and say, This is you. You got to change the way you do things. And you gotta and I didn't think I was doing anything wrong. Tripled the numbers. We had 125 kids, their third year in Burley after they asked me. They had 125 kids in that program. Mike, we started a spring football program. Everything's on the rise and everything was going great. They wanted change. I gave them change. They didn't like the change. Whatever. Because I made them work harder. And ⁓ other people loved it. But I go, how does this work when everything is great? I'm Superman, right? But I lost. It didn't matter what I was doing. Every every good thing that I did, I still lost. My family now, I'm not a I could still teach at Burley High School, but why would I want to teach there? I love football. Then I take over a bad job in Ontario and ⁓ I can get that later if you want, but that is the worst decision I ever made. But I came to Ontario and I shouldn't say that at the time. Now I think it was probably one of the better decisions I ever made, but ⁓ not not from my experience in Ontario, but just be where it led me to. But but I had to change. And I had to look at, okay, I'm not gonna be vocal, I'm not gonna fight, I'm not gonna do these things, I'm just gonna coach football. Here I am coaching football in Ontario. I'm saying jack wagons and numb nuts. I have a kid that F bomb me, I put him on the sideline, I get called in the office. Have you ever said jack wagons or numb nuts to a kid? Yeah, I have. You know, no four letter words. Just hurry up, Jack Wagons. Let's go numb nuts, knock it off. You know, everything I've been called Jack Wagons since I was four years old, growing up by the army base. But in woke, Ontario, you can't you can't say that I guess. So I I can I can BigMike: Right, right. Well you can't that's what it's kinda funny you mentioned those kind of things is ⁓ I was playing golf not too long ago with a kid I played football with and w ⁓ we were joking and and talking about Could imagine our coaches and we named a couple of ⁓ and they're all great guys. You know, we all look up to these guys and love and respect ⁓ Could could you imagine them trying to coach in today's environment and That gave us quite a pause and of laughter, you know, that you can't ⁓ It's an evolution of people, so we can't really say that it it's completely wrong or anything like that, but I think it's what made us the people that we are and helped us get through our hard times and and hopefully the approach now that we're using forward is gonna help this next generation of kids. And I have my my feelings on that because I believe that that toughness comes through adversity. And those adversities we handled, you know, ⁓ taking taking the situations you grew up into and s ⁓ to go out and seek mentors in your life, your your coaches and stuff like that, and then taking those lessons into the next ⁓ generation that you're working with and those kids and stuff like that. you can't just be soft because that's not how you were taught and You know they're gonna have adversity in life and how do you respond to that? How do you have the emotional intelligence to respond to that? You know, yeah, we we got called jack wagons and numbnuts as kids. ⁓ it it toughed us up. ⁓ it made us ⁓ who we are. and we got out into the real world, when we got into working jobs, I mean, you know, for a while I I was a plumbing laborer Tony Cade: Who yeah, and yeah. BigMike: ⁓ when I was first married and I don't know if you know much about construction plumbers, but they're not the nicest guys if you don't know what you're doing. But being able to to take that verbal abuse and and threats of physical abuse, it didn't faze me because that was just another day at practice to me ⁓ it helped me learn. It helped me grow. So I I get where you're coming from. I really do. Tony Cade: No. Yeah. Well, and I think I think it's not necessarily what you say and how you say it, you know, and I've learned that and and everybody says generations have changed, you know, your generation, my generation, our coaches wouldn't survive now. But I think they would. ⁓ you know, the funny thing is it's the environment that you find yourself in and can look at your setbacks, right? When I look at setbacks don't define us. And and that's been a mantra that I picked up since I've since I've done all this. Here I am in Ontario, Oregon, and I'm wondering where am I at that this isn't okay. Right? That I mean, no f I mean, I got a kid throwing a helmet after he F-bombs me at LeGrande, Oregon. I put his mom's out of the bleach, her sister's on my sideline, give him a hug while he's throwing a tenthantrum. And I'm supposed to be okay with this? Like where do I go that this is all right? Ever. And I get called in the office and I get blamed for that, and I get asked to resign or be relieved of my duties. Today picks up this. this ⁓ story because the district says that I the that coaches ⁓ what they say coach's bullying behavior is reason for resignation. And I'm going but I'm good enough to still teach all the freshmen at Ontario High School, but I'm some monster. And I just i it just so right there I went into a little bit of a depression. I I'm just going, I can't win. I can't there's no matter what I do, what I know for All the years I've coached, the success with Coach Buck, being in successful programs, taking over bad programs and winning, not winning by record, but winning in kids who believe what Coach Kate is saying to them and they're playing for something other than wins and losses, but something bigger than them, and understanding what team is and what persons are and what service looks like in life, those were the wins for me. And then I get this. And it it it brought me down a notch, not in humility, but personally. And I'll be honest with you, I got I had a sophomore in high school. I I left it to other people to coach my sons, and this is one of the biggest regrets I have in my life. I had a son, my oldest kid was a sophomore at the time up here in Ontario, and I had another son who was a seventh grader. And I thought wholeheartedly when they got to high school I'd be able to coach ⁓ right? As a dad, as a coach. one of my I look forward to it. And I've coached thousands of other kids and I let other people take care of my kids until they got to me. And it was taken from me. It was taken from me. And there wasn't a dang thing I could do about it. There was nothing I could do about it. Right? And and how am I gonna combat this now? How am I gonna look my oldest son in the eye and say, I'm not gonna be able to coach you. We look we look forward to this all our lives. And we've traveled the country and we've done everything together in summer and and I don't get to coach you. and my youngest son at the time in seventh grade, you know, anyway, long short, ⁓ he was playing middle school football. We left him there. I yanked my other kid and my daughter out of the school. Ontario didn't treat me good. ⁓ I get letters at eight thirty in the morning to come and meet at three o'clock in the afternoon, and I would think about what are they gonna say to me all day while I'm trying to teach a class and trying to do my real job. And I think to myself, I go, I go, they're just doing it. I don't wanna be here. You don't want me here. I don't wanna be here. I'll try to get out of here. So I applied at this place called the Idaho Department of Juvenile Correction. I I'll be honest with you, I thought to myself, you know what? Why not? I didn't even know how much it paid. I didn't know where it was. I didn't even know what it looked like. I went in there. They did an in-person teach or interview where you went into the classrooms and I'm thinking these kids are gonna be in handcuffs. It's gonna be and it wasn't. These kids are just normal kids, just like anybody else. And they were in class. There's only 10 of them, and in a class of 30, it's only 10 in each of the pods. But I thought to myself, like, man, these are the kids who actually would listen. Well, they wouldn't listen to you at first until you build the rapport that we talked about. And I think about all the setbacks that they had in their life. I did a second interview. They hired me as a teacher in Nampa. I taught there for three years. every minute of it. I had kids from I and I can't tell you everything, but like, Kids from all kinds of this isn't the detention center. These are the lockups. These are the adjudicated kids. We have one in St. Anthony, one in Lewiston, and one in Napa. This isn't the vacation for two weeks and then go back to school. These are the lockup kids. just looking at some of these kids and reading their stories, you can read ⁓ and goes back to us and how we want to be treated, Mike, right? People can say rumors and we screwed up, whatever. You can believe the rumors, or you can actually just make your own and your own your own opinion about someone by getting to know them. So I stopped reading why they were there. I stopped reading it. I didn't want to know what their charges was. I did I didn't care. And once you started building the rapport with those kids, they started working hard for you. And when they saw other opportunities that that their setback didn't define them, they were like, lights went off in their head and it was like, Man, I can do this, coach? Yeah, you can do this. I mean, that didn't define you. You want to live in that world and you get out and do it again, you're never going to get out of that cycle. you can actually say my setback was an opportunity to learn. And started getting to know these kids and and it really man, it it it helped me at a time that I needed it because I was depressed because I wasn't coaching anymore. And and I was like, Man, you know what? this is what I need in my own life. I'd go home, I'd leave it at the door there because you couldn't take it home with you. And some of them heart str I mean, some of the stories will pull at your heart strings. But you got home and I I remember looking at my son, who's the guy in the National Guard now, and I came home and I said, Listen, we gotta make a decision. Where are you gonna go play football at? What are you gonna do? I'm not gonna be a part of it. I can't be. I'll help you in everything I can, but I can't be your coach. Right, I can't be that guy outside of being outside of the football field, right? And so I looked him in the eye and I said, There's more kids that need you, and there's more kids that need me out there. And he looked at me and he said to me, Dad, you're right. He goes, I've been around you your whole life, and and and every kid that you've helped, or every kid that we gave rides to, or I did the same thing my coach did. I'd go, I had a minivan, a nineteen ninety seven minivan, Mike. And I'd put eight kids in that son of a gun and I'd take them to practice because mom and dad worked two jobs what they could. Hispanic kids that never could afford cleats. You know, we would start cleat programs and money was not an object, right? We w like, don't make money a reason that you're not gonna play. In today's world it's all about, well, I can't afford it. Yes, you can. We'll find a way. And that's been my MO for all these kids. And and so anyway, it really hit me when my son said that to me. You're right, Dad. There's kids that need you more than I need you right now. And I said, Wow. it and it tore my tore my heart apart a little bit, I'll be honest. But but him realizing that at the point of his life as being a sophomore was a testament to all his coaches before, me as a dad, me as a coach, and living the mantra that I tried to do in my own house with other people. And being mentor that I was to him, and then now watching him, like you said, with your sons, you know, doing great things. And a kid that I never would thought would be where he's at right now. Lead lead car salesman and Pocatello at Philmeter Subaru. Now he's in the National Guard and I'm going, This is not the life I thought he would lead. And he's got a job with the FBI now. I'm sitting there going, My gosh, man, like how cool is this? And my son's playing football at Eastern Oregon and and running the track there. And he was another one. Never got to coach him in high school. Would have loved to. Sent him to Vell High School. He had great coaches out there. Got to play in some state championships, probably If you went with me, we probably wouldn't never have had that that that chance. But I guess getting full circle on that, right? USA Today picks up, makes me a monster. They put it in the Argus, which is the local paper here in Ontario. you know, the Malieur Enterprise writes a hit piece on me, and I'm going, What is going on, man? Like, and everybody's calling me. You know, one of our biggest memories of you, Coach Cade, these kids who these kids who have kids now who are like going to PA school. You know what their favorite memory of their sophomore freshman year was being called a jack wagon. They're like, Coach, that's like our favorite memory was Coach Kate calling me a jack wagon when I'd show up late or I would do something stupid, right? and that got me out of a dark place, this job, this opportunity, and and I've kind of just gone to the admin side of it and still work in it, love it. I miss the general population of kids every day in education, but I still have an opportunity to be part of it and And that. And so anyway, went to New Plymouth, coached, built that program back up. And ⁓ now I'm coaching girls basketball of all things. I coached girls basketball a long time ago at Hillcrest as well. I'm at a great school, great environment. You want to talk about a great environment, environment shape everything and great leadership and and ⁓ sometimes it's your environment. And I guess is where I'm getting at, Mike, is is as a mentor and as I had to be my own mentor. It there comes a point in your life where all the people that you've looked up to your friends or the people who have ⁓ who have been a part of your life, they're there for you, like you said, but they're not right next to you all the time. And you have to rely on your own devices. And you have to live, you can either live what you preach or you're you've been fake your whole life. Right? And and you got to answer that question one day. And and I I tell my kids that all the time, you know, Coach K believes in me. Coach K trusts me. Coach K, you know, knows that I'm going to be somebody. And being a mentor and being a coach is seeing and believing in somebody before they see it in themselves. And I truly believe that. And at times in my life, I look back and I go, I needed to be more like that for myself. Believe in yourself. Trust in yourself. See the things ahead of you that you don't know yet. Don't be scared of failure because failure is going to happen. No matter what, you're going to screw up. It's gonna happen. But did you laugh about it? Did you stay stuck in it? Did you blame other people for your failure? Or did you get yourself back up, dust off, and be enthusiastic about the next adventure that you have? after the Ontario one, that's what happened to me. and I think every kid that was a part of that transition in my life, that built me there, and my own son, and my own family, my wife has been a trooper, ⁓ you know. She's she's believed in my dreams everywhere I've drugged we've been to seven school districts and she's been been along for the ride and ⁓ ⁓ anyway, I I guess I I get emotional thinking about it, but ⁓ I got to thinking about what we were gonna talk about today, Mike, a lot of time being a mentor, sometimes you gotta be your own mentor as well and you gotta look to those those of examples in your life and gotta rely on what they taught you for yourself. Yeah. BigMike: See, that's the point that I just wanted to bring up was you in those points you've gotta, you know sometimes you've gotta go through it alone. You know, there's some times where you you're going to be alone with the negativity and with the the thoughts inside your head. But and and you brought up something that I think I'll for lack of a better word, just kind of push back on because you said you gotta be your own mentor, but you relied upon all those lessons that were taught to you. the lessons from Coach Buck, ⁓ I think it was Coach Lewis was the first one you mentioned. And you took those lessons forward and you learned, okay, now how can I apply these lessons to my life and where I am? You know, maybe asking yourself, Am I just being average or am I, you know, did I did I fail these kids? Where in your heart you knew you didn't, but I know when we get that that seed of self self doubt, it allows it to to grow on us and grow in us. But then once you saw the impacts from the letters you got from the kids and realizing, okay, wait, you know, like you said, you've always had a tough time with administrators, and now that you're an administrator, you probably see the other side of it a little bit more, and trying to reconcile both those things. ⁓ and then Yeah, you know, but then you take what you've done with juvenile corrections ⁓ and Tony Cade: Well you have to. You have to, right? You have to. Yeah. BigMike: You know, that was one of things when I worked in law enforcement and when I worked in in corrections and stuff like that, having to take those ⁓ those kids, those those young people, even you know, some of them were older than I was, and try to remind them that like this moment in your life, as horrible as it is, does not define who you are. It it's not gonna define where you can go in your life. Tony Cade: Exactly right. BigMike: and what you can accomplish. And then when you see them years later, you know, or or they reach out via social media or whatever and you're like, Hey, look what I've done. Look where I'm at now. And it just kinda helps reinforce those lessons. And, you know, one of the things you were talking about was all the lessons you took back from those coaches, you know, picking the kids up, getting cleats for them and making sure that money wasn't the reason they weren't gonna play because I think you as their coach, as as the leader there and seeing into their eyes and seeing in their their hearts, they needed the field as much as ⁓ you needed or probably if not more than you needed them on the team, but they needed that in their life. And they needed people who believed in them that they were more than what they thought they were because Tony Cade: Yeah. BigMike: You know, they can go back to their neighborhoods, they can go back to ⁓ their broken homes, broken be it people in the homes or just the the spirit in their homes, and keep falling back into those same cycles that you know, I knew ⁓ I I joke and I tell people I knew it was time for me to retire from law enforcement when ⁓ I was ⁓ I was a bailiff in a court and this this kid ⁓ said, Hey, hey, you're coil, right? And I was Yeah, and they said Hey, my mom and grandma told me to tell you hi. And and knowing seeing that generational connection generational connection there, it was like, All right, maybe it's time to get out of this if I'm seeing the kids and grandkids coming in, you know. th this is getting scary here. But and and it's heartbreaking to see that the kids are taking the same lessons and and going down the same paths as their parents and and no one wanting to Tony Cade: Ha ha BigMike: break that cycle for these kids and and tell them that like, Hey, this does this doesn't have to be your life. You can be better. You can do better. Tony Cade: Well And and and you're exactly right. You can be bitter or you can become better. You know, I always talk about be better than you were yesterday. That's one of my big slogans and and again, the just like you said, you see that cycle after cycle after cycle of coaches are long gone, man. Like you're gonna live there the rest of your life. You're gonna be the example. Now you gotta be the leader. People are gonna look to you. So you either have your influence for the good or for the bad. You either shine your light for the good or for the for the bad. And you can either get out of this on your own or you can have people who help you. And a lot of people attack it on their own. And I I appreciate you saying that. You know, when I think about, you know, when I meant by being your own mentor, there's people who were there to help me and pick me up when I started saying, ⁓ poor picked on me, blah, blah, blah. and it was like, Tony, just shut up. Like, you you want to just cry about it or you're going to do something about it? And I had to I had to come to that realization that it was ⁓ You know what? Am I am I really blaming other people for my mishaps? And and I was at at certain There's a reason that I gave them the ammo to fire at me. I gave them that ammo. Right? I mean, I could say it's not true all I want, but there's there's probably a little sli snippet there that they took And made it ⁓ the big cannon and shot the torpedo at me and and hit me, right? and I think when we talk to kids like you said, being a bailiff, that's awesome. You're a bailiff, by the way. But I you got all kinds of court stories in there. That's awesome, man. ⁓ And but I I ⁓ that that's awesome, man. I we'll have to share correction stories here before long. But anyway ⁓ BigMike: I've got court stories and I've got other stories from being in law enforcement, but I wanna hear your stories today. ⁓ I'm sure. Tony Cade: But you know one of the biggest things for me too, Mike, and and even with where I'm at now, I'm at a place called Treasure Valley Classical Academy. It's a small charter school there in pay at it's getting bigger, you know, with public school being what it is and people looking for a different avenue for education, it's a great place. I'll give my plug for TV C A. It's a great school if you ever want to go to it. But ⁓ anyway, but just serving people Having empathy for people, understanding where they come from before you start firing and judging people goes a long way. And as a mentor, you can't just automatically make an impression of someone just from what you hear. ⁓ you gotta get to know someone. And again, we talked a lot about trust and rapport and building that trust for someone to trust in what you're gonna say to ⁓ And some of my lifelong friends, man, I still have back in Kentucky, you know, you know, here in Idaho, everywhere else that I've made, it's all been that. It's been the we went through the fire together, man, and we came out alive, right? We're still here, we're still battling. And you were right there with me. And and ⁓ I needed that. And i I got people who say like you said at the beginning of this thing, people who say they are, but they're not. People who are scared I and I don't know if I should say this out loud, but one of my biggest pet peeves are cowards. I hate coward when you know it's right, but you don't say anything and you don't do anything and you don't want to rock the boat because you're scared of what's gonna happen to you, even though that you know it's right. I would go to the grave for somebody if I knew it was right. My friends, right? I mean I would I'm not scared to rock the boat. If I know that you're right and they're wrong and they're still firing at you, I'm probably gonna be the most loyal person you ever had in your life. And and I get I that that's a that's been something I've had to overcome, man, is I call them wimps and I call them cowards and people who are scared to stand up for the right. And ⁓ and I think there's a lot of kids that need people to stand up and advocate for them that mom and dad can't afford it. Mom and dad never played in a a sport, but they want to. They just want to be part of something. We can talk about generation changes and how you talk and how you act as a coach. Every just wants Wants to be a part of something, that has never changed. In my 27 years, it has never changed. Being part of a team, being part of something, win, lose, or draw, the bus rides are the most memorable things. They don't care how many wins that you had, right? Those things, when Coach Gate called me a jack wagon back in 19, whatever, like those are the 30-year reunions that they're going to remember. I truly, I truly believe that. And I've always come across as a player's coach. People call me a bully and there's the funny thing about it. I'm a bully, but I'm a girls basketball coach. I got girls track coach of the year, but I'm a bully. Right? I tripled the numbers of your school with the people playing football, but I'm a bully. People don't want to it just doesn't make sense a lot of times. But again, I had to quit internalizing that and just go off of my actions. I'm a bully, but I got how many kids playing for me? You want to call me what? But you did you ask the kids? Did you did you talk to them? And and your actions speak louder in your words and mom and dad have always told us that, right? But ⁓ keep showing up, right? You gotta have be consistent in what you do. That's the mentor part for me. Being passionate about who you are, what you're trying to do, building the next generation who are gonna take care of me when I'm old, right? And hopefully I give ⁓ some kind of lesson that they're gonna remember. But you can't just stay under your covers when things don't go wrong. And I was about at and I was at that point, I ain't gonna lie. And I had to be come out from under those covers and I had to laugh about it. Quit being dumb. Okay, get back up. Shut up. Quit being bitter. Be better. Right? And and and go serve. I found the biggest thing for me, Mike, is going to serve other people. And when I'm serving other people, I forget all the other whatever's going on. And I may be serving it in the wrong way. Like I may be screwing up. Like I don't even know how to dig up a tree, but man, I got a shovel right now. We're gonna break something. So you know, but It was it was therapy and I started, I'll be honest with you, I do my Coach K dailies every day now on on Facebook and and that's therapeutic for me. Right? Finding something that I can say that hopefully gives people challenging to be better challenges to better themselves, messages of my personal experiences, and quotes. And it's got me through the dark times and and just be in that therapeutic moment, man. And and hearing people from Dubai, like you think I got hacked. I got people from South Africa. You know, I'm going, dude, they're asking me for a million dollars. That's the hack job, but these other people are like, coach, we really appreciate that. It made my day today. I change. I'm like, all right, I don't know if this is real or not, but I made friends across the world just on social media through therapy, through just sharing your experiences. And that's why me and you, man, like, where did we come to be friends, Mike? How do we become friends? BigMike: It was ⁓ actually from Zach Dolner ⁓ reached out and suggested that I should reach out to you and and to come help ⁓ coach the the my football team. ⁓ the offer still stands for ya, you know, but by by connecting with you I've learned you know, just reading your posts and and seeing who you are as a person via social media and I mean I've learned so much Tony Cade: Yeah. Yeah. BigMike: About you today that gets me more and more excited about opportunities to work with you in the future. But you know, it's and to me it's when someone that ⁓ you and I probably both hold in high regard, like Zach, that when he gives a name, it's like, well, if if he trusts that person, then I can trust that person too. You know, and and I think that's what's important out there and I I think that's those are the messages we need to get out there. coach, we're almost out of time. ⁓ and I appreciate you taking so much time with us today. Tony Cade: Yep, yep. No, sure. BigMike: Is there any ⁓ is there any mentor in your life that you wanna take a moment, maybe someone that kinda keeps their head down and people don't think about that really touched your life and you just wanna give a shout out and appreciation to? Tony Cade: Man, I you know, there's so you know, you go back and you know, one that just sticks out to you, there's there's there's never really one. but I I'm gonna be honest with you, i if I can if I can do one that that's gonna sound so cliche and so normal. But my mom, all right, I I I look at my mother and and she's at in life now, she's getting ready to retire. She's sixty I think she's sixty eight. I don't know. She works in behavioral health. with kids and juveniles and and what she did to raise me and just make sure I had everything that I needed. growing up. She couldn't always get me to places. That's why coaches picked me up and things like that. But she worked her rear end off just so I could be what I was. ⁓ and without her doing what that is, I never would have met you know, met the mentors that that shaped me. But just looking at her and and what she stands for Saving her gas money just so she could drive fifteen miles to go help another lady. We had to walk and I'm like, Ma, just go buy some gas. No, if I buy gas now, I don't have no money to help this lady at the end of the week. Prime example was serving other people before herself. She's always been that way. And and shout out to my mom, right? And ⁓ I know it and you know what what's great about my mom? And it goes I think this is a fitting end, but never being scared to avoid failure. Right? ⁓ We always want to avo avoid failure. We always want to be perfect. We never want to screw up. But and those screw ups is what teaches us the life lessons the most. And and I've I've like I said, I'm almost fifty years old now and and over the years and I've been blessed with being a great team, terrible teams, but I've learned everywhere I've been is never be scared to avoid failure always smile and be enthusiastic about it. ⁓ I don't know that my mom was always enthusiastic when she failed. But you know, it's funny every time she goes, Sorry, sorry, Tony, I wasn't a great mom. That's what she's and I'm like, mom, why you say this, right? When you're sixty eight right now, you're a great mom. I you've been great, right? And and I think a lot of us look back and we we we we're harder on ourselves. but look at what you accomplished and never be scared of that and be better than you were yesterday. You know, that's that's my mantra, that's what I live by and If I can do something better than I did yesterday, then I win. I win the day every day. But shout out to Ma, ⁓ Coach Buck, Coach Lewis, if they watch this, I mean, always influenced. Those are probably my top three of my life. And and ⁓ and then also my sons, ⁓ my daughters, my family. ⁓ Mike, you're an inspiration as well. You're a mentor, man. I appreciate you doing this. And I watch these things and I'm like, man, these are great. Like and watching what you do to your football team and the guys that look up to you as well. So anyway, that's my shout out. BigMike: Thank you, sir. I appreciate it. Appreciate it. Thank you. You you know, that's that's a great note to leave and and I think we need to leave it right there. It's like don't be afraid to failure, you know, 'cause ⁓ you're you're gonna learn, you know, and it's as you said earlier, it's from your failures ⁓ where you're gonna learn your successes in life and and I've learned that