Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #1073 - A Father's Day Bromance

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#1073 - A Father's Day Bromance · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

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  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Family's podcast.
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  Speaker 2: It's the podcast for the time poor parent who just
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  Speaker 2: wants answers. Now.
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  Speaker 1: I can't wait for today's older Better Tomorrow, Kylie, I
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  Speaker 1: have got the best older Better tomorrow ever, like literally
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  Speaker 1: the best ever.
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  Speaker 2: I can't wait for it either, because I'm lying on
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  Speaker 2: the ground while we I don't have a cheer up.
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  Speaker 1: We've cleaned out my office, we're waiting under your chair,
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  Speaker 1: and you're literally on the ground. You actually don't have
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  Speaker 1: the same energy you normally do. You sound a little
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  Speaker 1: bit too laid back.
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  Speaker 2: Oh okay, I could go to sleep, all right.
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  Speaker 1: So for those of you who knew the podcast, what
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  Speaker 1: we do every Friday is we talk about how we
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  Speaker 1: want to do better tomorrow. We review the week that was.
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  Speaker 1: We look at either what we did really well or
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  Speaker 1: we look at well what we didn't do so well,
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  Speaker 1: and how we can be better parents. Tricky thing, especially
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  Speaker 1: with me Kyle over the last few weeks. My job
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  Speaker 1: is to make other people's families happier, which sometimes means
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  Speaker 1: leaving our families. That I can go and do that.
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  Speaker 1: And I don't think it's any exaggeration to say that
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  Speaker 1: while I've always traveled a reasonable amount over the last
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  Speaker 1: couple of weeks, maybe the last couple of months. I've
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  Speaker 1: probably traveled more than any other time in our lives,
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  Speaker 1: which makes a little better. It's more really tricky. I
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  Speaker 1: haven't got a lot to say.
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  Speaker 2: Well, you said you've got an awesome one today. I do.
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  Speaker 1: In fact, I want to mention two things. First of all,
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  Speaker 1: last Saturday night, I had a really tough night, but
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  Speaker 1: also a really meaningful and important night. I spoke at
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  Speaker 1: Lifeline's annual gala ball. I don't know how many people
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  Speaker 1: were in the room. I'm going to guess somewhere out
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  Speaker 1: a thousand people at the International Conference Center at Darling Harbor,
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  Speaker 1: looking out over the harbor and the city. Just such
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  Speaker 1: a stunning venue, such a gorgeous room. And I was
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  Speaker 1: asked to give the after dinner speech on a night
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  Speaker 1: where Lifeline does their very best to raise as much
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  Speaker 1: money as possible. Did you know if you would have
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  Speaker 1: guessed how many calls would you imagine that Lifeline receives
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  Speaker 1: on an annual basis. Last year, by the way, they
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  Speaker 1: had the most calls they've ever had.
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  Speaker 2: I wouldn't have a clue. I'm guessing it would be
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  Speaker 2: in the tens of thousands.
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  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, keep going, oh hundreds, keep going.
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  Speaker 2: Wow, No, I can't even begin. Are we talking like
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  Speaker 2: a million?
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  Speaker 1: Yeah we are. We're talking over a million, a little
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  Speaker 1: over a million calls every single year. That translates to
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  Speaker 1: wait for it, three thousand, three thousand telephone calls per day.
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  Speaker 1: I get goosebumps just talking about it. The numbers are
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  Speaker 1: absolutely astonishing. If you work that out, three thousand calls
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  Speaker 1: a day means that there's a called Lifeline every twenty
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  Speaker 1: eight seconds. That there's somebody I get weepy about it.
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  Speaker 1: There's somebody in crisis every twenty eight seconds who says
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  Speaker 1: I need someone to talk to one of the I
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  Speaker 1: don't have anyone to talk to, so I therefore have
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  Speaker 1: to call Lifeline. I have to call and talk to
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  Speaker 1: a stranger, either because I don't have someone or I
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  Speaker 1: can't talk to the people who are close to me.
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  Speaker 1: So in terms of having an important conversation, I can't
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  Speaker 1: think of a more important group of people to talk
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  Speaker 1: to than Lifeline and all of their sponsors, all of
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  Speaker 1: their volunteers, well sorry, not all of them, but many
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  Speaker 1: of their sponsors and contributors were there, and it was
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  Speaker 1: a big fundraising night, and I was asked to speak
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  Speaker 1: about the death of Logan, our nephew in November last year.
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  Speaker 1: Hardest talk I've ever given, without question, hardest talk I've
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  Speaker 1: ever given, and it meant leaving you again. We had
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  Speaker 1: a daughter's birthday on Friday, so I flew home from
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  Speaker 1: Sydney so that I could be there for her birthday
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  Speaker 1: on Friday, so that I could fly back to Sydney
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  Speaker 1: to speak at the Lifeline ball, so that then I
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  Speaker 1: could fly home for Father's Day, so that I could
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  Speaker 1: fly back to Sydney because I had an event at
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  Speaker 1: Bangor Primary School in Sydney's South on Monday. Oh my goodness,
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  Speaker 1: who put Father's Day right and our daughter's birthday right
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  Speaker 1: in the middle of all of these events in Sydney
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  Speaker 1: that I was doing. We saw so much money raised
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  Speaker 1: for Lifeline that night, which it was so gratifying, and
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  Speaker 1: that madely happened off the back of my talk. So
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  Speaker 1: I gave the talk, which is obviously designed to help
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  Speaker 1: people to recognize the importance of this service. And while
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  Speaker 1: that's not and I'll do better tomorrow for our family
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  Speaker 1: or what we're doing in our family, it's just over
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  Speaker 1: the last few weeks, I've had the opportunity to speak
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  Speaker 1: to some of the most important and wonderful people that
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  Speaker 1: I've ever spoken to in my entire life, in my
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  Speaker 1: entire career, and I'm just I'm so grateful to do
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  Speaker 1: the work that I do, and I'm also so grateful
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  Speaker 1: for the incredible people who are out there doing the
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  Speaker 1: work that they do, because there are so many good
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  Speaker 1: people out there. Just an amazing experience.
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  Speaker 2: It was a really, really big night, and unfortunately I
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  Speaker 2: was stuck at home with the kids. You're doing the parenting,
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  Speaker 2: got stuck, but I didn't get to It would have
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  Speaker 2: been nice if you were with me. I didn't get
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  Speaker 2: to be there with you. But I'm curious about what
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  Speaker 2: your second story is.
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  Speaker 1: Well, my second one is about Father's Day. So I
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  Speaker 1: came home. I arrived in the afternoon. By the time
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  Speaker 1: I flew out of Sydney got back home, the day
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  Speaker 1: was half gone. But we got to spend some really
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  Speaker 1: nice time with the family, and I just think we're
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  Speaker 1: doing Father's Day better than ever.
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  Speaker 2: I was going to say, you need to preface I
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  Speaker 2: don't think you've had a Father's Day that you have
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  Speaker 2: thoroughly enjoyed in all the time you've been a father.
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  Speaker 1: And there's a whole lot of complexity and a whole
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  Speaker 1: bunch of reasons around that. And I've got really low expectations, honestly,
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  Speaker 1: but we've just never quite gotten a right. But this
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  Speaker 1: Father's Day was probably the best, is it?
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  Speaker 2: Because you had zero expectations, expectations, happiness?
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  Speaker 1: No, I think we just got it right. I mean
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  Speaker 1: I came home and there was time with you, there
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  Speaker 1: was time with the kids, there was no pressure. It
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  Speaker 1: was a really really nice couple of hours. And then
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  Speaker 1: we went over to our eldest daughter's house.
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  Speaker 2: This is literally the first time she's hosted family dinner
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  Speaker 2: in her home.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, it was so great. And we sat down and
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  Speaker 1: she and Jared her husban, and Indy, our granddaughter, gave
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  Speaker 1: me my Father's Day gift, which was just so nice.
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  Speaker 1: And inside there was a little tree with Indy's handprints
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  Speaker 1: in green as the leaves of the tree, which was
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  Speaker 1: super clever and a gorgeous little message. And there was
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  Speaker 1: also a great big handprint and the message on that
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  Speaker 1: little tree from Indy, or it was really from Chanel said,
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  Speaker 1: no matter how to all like gro I'll always look
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  Speaker 1: up to you. I mean, we've heard that one a lot.
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  Speaker 1: It's tried, and yet when you're a dad and you
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  Speaker 1: get that, you just go, oh my god, it's so nice.
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  Speaker 1: But then there was this other piece of paper and
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  Speaker 1: it's got this great, big hand, like it's a hand
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  Speaker 1: that's bigger than mine. Well it's about the same size,
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  Speaker 1: maybe a touch bigger than mine. And it's in blue
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  Speaker 1: and it says Happy Father's Day, Justin. And I look
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  Speaker 1: at the bottom before I read the rest of it,
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  Speaker 1: and it's Jared, our.
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  Speaker 2: Son in law, and he sput his age next to it.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, he'd Jared twenty six, and he's written to Justin,
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  Speaker 1: I'll happy Father's Day, Justin. I love your jokes, I
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  Speaker 1: love our steaks, I love our breakfast dates. I love you.
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  Speaker 1: And I read that that's so nice. But then I
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  Speaker 1: felt really bad about it, and I've actually texted him
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  Speaker 1: about it and apologized because he spelt jokes the O
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  Speaker 1: looks like a you, and he wrote the word stakes
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  Speaker 1: wrong and had to sort of say.
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  Speaker 2: What you didn't know is that he was literally writing
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  Speaker 2: it ass. We drove in the driveway and the paint
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  Speaker 2: was still wet.
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  Speaker 1: In spite of that, in spite of that, I gave
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  Speaker 1: him a bit of a hard time about it. It
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  Speaker 1: was so sweet, it was so beautiful, so nice that
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  Speaker 1: he did it, and I did express my appreciation, but
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  Speaker 1: I couldn't help just some good natured ribbing about his
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  Speaker 1: spelling and about his writing. But I got a text
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  Speaker 1: from him the following day, and I want to read
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  Speaker 1: it to you because it just I'm kind of speechless.
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  Speaker 1: So I'm just going to read it to you and
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  Speaker 1: then I'll give you my reaction. He said. I was
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  Speaker 1: attempting to write this on my hand print for your
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  Speaker 1: Father's Day letter, but Indiana was taking more of my
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  Speaker 1: attention than I'd anticipated. But I figured no harm in
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  Speaker 1: sending it as a text either. Happy Father's Day to
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  Speaker 1: Australia's number one father in law, Justin. I'm constantly in
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  Speaker 1: or of your passion and your unwavering commitment to making
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  Speaker 1: the world a better place. Your driver is truly unmatched.
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  Speaker 1: The example you set for me to be a great
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  Speaker 1: father is the greatest gift any father could give to
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  Speaker 1: a suton in law. He said. I appreciate the time
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  Speaker 1: and effort you invest in our relationship, the laughter, kind words,
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  Speaker 1: and the advice you so freely share. Thank you for
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  Speaker 1: being such an active and loving poppy in Indiana. We
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  Speaker 1: always look forward to our visits with you. Our little
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  Speaker 1: family has come so far because of the sacrifices you've
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  Speaker 1: made for us. And then the clincher, he said, this
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  Speaker 1: is my son in law. He's twenty six years old,
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  Speaker 1: long hair, goady, electrician. Where's the flurod gear? And I
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  Speaker 1: mean he's a big guy. He could bench press me
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  Speaker 1: all day long. The last paragraph he says, I love
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  Speaker 1: you justin happy first poppy his day. I'm so proud
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  Speaker 1: to call you my father in law. And Kylie, I mean,
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  Speaker 1: I'm getting weepy reading it. But when I that text,
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  Speaker 1: I just thought, I mean, I love your dad. I'm
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  Speaker 1: so grateful for him. He's a good man. But in
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  Speaker 1: the twenty six or twenty whatever years it is that
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  Speaker 1: we've been married, now, I should get that right, my
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  Speaker 1: twenty six and a half, twenty seven years we've been married.
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  Speaker 1: I can't imagine ever sending him a text like that.
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  Speaker 1: And here's this great kid that's married our eldest daughter,
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  Speaker 1: and he's telling his father in law that he loves
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  Speaker 1: him and that he's so proud to have him as
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  Speaker 1: a father in law, and I just I feel like
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  Speaker 1: it's a peak moment in my life. And I know
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  Speaker 1: it's very very personal a share on the podcast, and
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  Speaker 1: yet when I think about what I'll do better tomorrow
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  Speaker 1: is all about It's about creating a family so that
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  Speaker 1: you can have those moments. My reaction was one of
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  Speaker 1: I'm just I put myself in those shoes and thought,
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  Speaker 1: I can't imagine sending that message or giving that message
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  Speaker 1: to my father in law. And I feel so rich
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  Speaker 1: as a recipient of that.
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  Speaker 2: I think that was the real joy of Father's Day
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  Speaker 2: this year was just the I guess reaping I don't
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  Speaker 2: want to use the word reward, but reaping the goodness
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  Speaker 2: that has come from all of those years of sacrifice
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  Speaker 2: and hard with our children, and.
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  Speaker 1: It has been hard, like this has not been one
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  Speaker 1: of those charmed relationships from day dot. I mean, in
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  Speaker 1: the early days when I was a bit upset about
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  Speaker 1: some things that were going on when they just started dating,
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  Speaker 1: he was, I mean, Chanelle tells the story that he
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  Speaker 1: wanted to beat me up and as we were having
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  Speaker 1: a conversation, he said, well, you might have some book smarts,
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  Speaker 1: but you don't really know what's going on. I mean,
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  Speaker 1: it was an acrimonious, antagonistic relationship. It was not good.
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  Speaker 2: As we've been doing some renovations in the house, we've
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  Speaker 2: talked about wanting to create this miracle wall with photos
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  Speaker 2: of moments and time. And as I was thinking about it,
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  Speaker 2: I happened to be looking at Chanel and Jared's wedding
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  Speaker 2: photos and Jared looked over my shoulder and he said,
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  Speaker 2: that's the first.
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  Speaker 1: Time we hugged at the wedding.
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  Speaker 2: You and him, was the first time you'd hugged at
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  Speaker 2: the wedding, And it was just that's an instant moment
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  Speaker 2: of goodness there, and I want that on my miracle wall,
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  Speaker 2: like that's a healing moment in our lives. It's such
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  Speaker 2: a beautiful, beautiful reminder of all that's good, but also
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  Speaker 2: a combination of understanding and knowing how we got there.
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  Speaker 1: The take home message is love. We made a decision
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: when we saw how acrimonious and how challenging and even
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  Speaker 1: how capricious the relationship was becoming, we made a challenge
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  Speaker 1: to reverse that by loving unconditionally, by literally saying, no
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: matter what we've got them, no matter what, we will
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  Speaker 1: love them no matter what, They've got our support. No
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  Speaker 1: matter what, we will find a way to show that
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  Speaker 1: our love for them is bigger than any issue that
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  Speaker 1: can come up. And it has been. I mean they've
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  Speaker 1: been married now for five and a half years or
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  Speaker 1: something like that, and it took a good couple of
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  Speaker 1: years to make the progress. But the last five and
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  Speaker 1: a half years have just been delightful. And here's too many,
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  Speaker 1: many many more that is my older better tomorrow. Now,
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  Speaker 1: I have to apologize I've taken a lot of time
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  Speaker 1: in our podcast episode. You have approximately ninety seconds.
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  Speaker 2: Oh you're so kind. Well, considering it was just father day,
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  Speaker 2: I'm going to let you have the live line. You
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  Speaker 2: can take all the time.
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  Speaker 1: It's okay, okay, you know what. I'm not going to
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  Speaker 1: fight you on it because I want to make sure
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  Speaker 1: that our podcast sticks to the time. It is the time,
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  Speaker 1: the podcast for the time. Poor parent who just want's
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  Speaker 1: answers now, Well.
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  Speaker 2: Just know that when I've got a really awesome story,
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  Speaker 2: I won't let you speak.
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  Speaker 1: I'm looking forward to that next week because I've got
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  Speaker 1: another week of travel and I don't know if I'm
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  Speaker 1: going to have anything to share. The Happy Family's podcast
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  Speaker 1: is produced by Justin Rhlan Media. Justin, We just love
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: your work. We're so grateful for what you do. Thank
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: you for being a wonderful, wonderful podcast producer. If you'd
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: like more information about making your family happier, check out
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: the range of products that we've got at happy families
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: dot com dot au and have a fabulous, fabulous weekend.