Latest / What's Your (Least) Favorite Scary Movie? / #209: Wishcraft (2002) - Tubi or Not to Be

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#209: Wishcraft (2002) - Tubi or Not to Be · What's Your (Least) Favorite Scary Movie?

• 0:06
  Hello. What's your least favorite scary
• 0:08
  movie? Jimbo was alive when the killer
• 0:13
  beheaded him. Welcome to let your least
• 0:16
  favorite scary movie The Podcaster.
• 0:19
  We talk about the good, about the ugly and the absurd, and all
• 0:22
  of our favorite, least favorite scary movies.
• 0:24
  Because we believe every horror movie rightfully has its fan
• 0:26
  base. Even if we don't always get it.
• 0:28
  My name is Travis. My name is Jesse and welcome
• 0:30
  back to our monthly live, unedited, and mostly undrawn
• 0:35
  bonus series. To be or Not to Be, where we
• 0:39
  look through free streaming services and find the stuff that
• 0:42
  maybe we haven't ever heard of before.
• 0:46
  So this week I wanted to try and stay within the realm of prom
• 0:50
  and tried to find something teen setted and and I came up with
• 0:59
  witchcraft. You did a good job.
• 1:01
  So. If if it's the Prom theme, I I
• 1:04
  would say, and I thought that it was a Pretty Little entertaining
• 1:08
  movie. Yes.
• 1:09
  Oh. Yeah, we'll get into that here
• 1:11
  in a little bit. Actually, I think we can get
• 1:13
  into it now. This is bonus episode.
• 1:15
  We don't do any of that other shit.
• 1:18
  TuneIn on Thursday for that. All right.
• 1:20
  Yeah, well, let's just jump into this fucking thing.
• 1:22
  Then all right, so Witchcraft premiered on February 24th, 2002
• 1:27
  at something called A FM I Don't know, and then Some.
• 1:31
  Movies. Oh, and then it had a wide video
• 1:35
  release on January 21st, 2003. So it never had like a proper
• 1:39
  theatrical release. Interesting, I find kind of
• 1:42
  surprising. It looks like as the feel of
• 1:44
  that it would have been a theatrical release.
• 1:46
  Yeah, it definitely feels like it fits in with the movies at
• 1:49
  this time, but we'll we'll probably get into that.
• 1:53
  So we watched this one on Tubi Written by Larry Katz Directed
• 1:59
  by Danny Graves and Richard Wank.
• 2:01
  Music by J Peter Robinson. Special effects makeup by James
• 2:05
  Conrad and Randy Westgate with prosthetics by Clinton Wayne.
• 2:09
  Starring Michael Weston as Brett Bumpers, Alexandra Holden as
• 2:12
  Samantha Warren Huntley Ritter is Cody Austin Pendleton and Mr.
• 2:17
  as Mr. Turner. AJ Buckley is Howie and Meatloaf
• 2:20
  AKA Michael Aday as Detective Sparky Shaw.
• 2:24
  You. Just reminded me that Meatloaf
• 2:25
  is in this movie. I forgot about that.
• 2:27
  Yeah, he's like a big character, too.
• 2:29
  Yeah, I mean, he's all. He might have more screen time
• 2:32
  in this than he does in Rocky Horror.
• 2:34
  No, he probably does. Like, he's barely there.
• 2:36
  He he shows up in Rocky Horror just to die.
• 2:38
  Yeah, that's pretty much it. Like a little song?
• 2:41
  And he showed up in this movie to make me go, what a guy makes
• 2:45
  you cry? And he did.
• 2:47
  I think that they I think that they knew what they were doing
• 2:50
  when they put him up against a guy named Eddie.
• 2:53
  Oh my God. Oh my God.
• 2:55
  I didn't put that together last night.
• 2:57
  Traffic. Dude, you were.
• 2:57
  Tricky Mink. Jesse, you sang the song
• 3:00
  whenever they said Eddie in the the movie last night when we
• 3:04
  watched it, I thought. That you knew that No 'cause I
• 3:06
  was seeing meatloaf. So.
• 3:08
  And that's his character's name is Eddie?
• 3:11
  Yeah, exactly. I wasn't thinking about Eddie,
• 3:14
  Eddie. I was just thinking like, oh,
• 3:18
  when Eddie said he didn't like his teddy.
• 3:21
  No, not yet. I I feel like it was very
• 3:23
  intentional. Yeah, that's probably accurate.
• 3:27
  Anyway, enough of me feeling like a dummy.
• 3:30
  Let's move on to our favorite game budget.
• 3:32
  Oh, but Ted. So do you actually have the
• 3:36
  budget? I do.
• 3:37
  Wow, OK, cool. I'm liking when we have these
• 3:40
  tubing movies that actually have the budgets, because that's kind
• 3:42
  of rare. I'm gonna say that I think that
• 3:45
  this might actually be budget. OK.
• 3:48
  So not quite 5 million. OK, that's not too bad.
• 3:53
  Though yeah, not. That's probably one of the
• 3:54
  higher ones for a 2B movie. I would say that yeah, I don't
• 3:58
  have an opening box office because as I said, it didn't
• 4:00
  really have a theatrical release.
• 4:02
  It had a worldwide gross of 329,000 and currently sits at a
• 4:05
  5.2 out of 10 on IMDb. Yeah, not too bad, OK?
• 4:10
  OK, so my theme for other 2002 movies like do you know what
• 4:16
  tackling we're not there yet that's that's Nope, that's
• 4:20
  after, that's after the movie comparisons.
• 4:22
  OK. You're right.
• 4:24
  You're right. OK, Sorry, go.
• 4:26
  Ahead, this is probably my silliest theme yet, and it was
• 4:32
  movies that have the very specific 2000s styling of fonts
• 4:41
  that look like they're handwritten, plus some like
• 4:44
  staticky overlay on the image. This is the most specific
• 4:51
  comparison I think will ever happen on this show I.
• 4:54
  Will show them to you as I'm going through them and you'll
• 4:58
  see what I mean, because here's the Witchcraft poster.
• 5:00
  I love it. So see, we got like the staticky
• 5:03
  stuff going on and then this this font that's probably called
• 5:07
  something like Boarding class or whatever.
• 5:12
  So the first movie I have for comparison is The Ring.
• 5:15
  I was going to say it reminds me of the ring that came out this
• 5:18
  year, yes. Whoa, that actually came out
• 5:20
  October 18th, 2002 under a budget of 48 million and a
• 5:25
  worldwide gross of 249,000,000. That's why they make more and an
• 5:30
  IMDb score of 7.1. 48 million to make that movie?
• 5:35
  That's insane. Yeah.
• 5:38
  Is the I I feel. Like it looks like it's 48.
• 5:40
  Million I I guess it's like the transition from coming out of
• 5:44
  the TV is really expensive to do.
• 5:47
  I don't know. I don't.
• 5:48
  Know anything that's? Surprising.
• 5:49
  We covered that maybe a while ago.
• 5:51
  If you want my opinions on that, I don't love it as much as a lot
• 5:55
  of people do. I'm kind of shocked.
• 5:56
  I know I I was very You're still shocked by it years later?
• 6:00
  Scream Factory has done a box set release.
• 6:03
  That's pretty affordable for ring 12 N rings, and I've
• 6:08
  considered getting it. OK.
• 6:10
  Yeah. And I just know, same as like a
• 6:13
  Hellraiser tetralogy that it'll mostly be me that's interested
• 6:18
  in those. So probably it's a little bit
• 6:20
  harder for me to pull that trigger for that.
• 6:22
  OK, what's the next movie? The next movie is something
• 6:25
  called Disappearance. Whoa, that's the exact same
• 6:28
  font. Yep.
• 6:29
  So that that came out April 21st, 2002.
• 6:34
  I don't have a budget or gross on this.
• 6:36
  It's got a 5.3 out of 10 on IMDb.
• 6:40
  It the family's on a road trip and they stop in a town where
• 6:42
  nothing is as it seems, I that's.
• 6:44
  All I got from it. Yeah.
• 6:47
  How did you find culture for this?
• 6:50
  I searched 2002 horror movies. So you just saw that stuff, OK?
• 6:55
  It the synopsis kind of makes me think of like a a mesh of like
• 7:02
  oh God, what's the movie you really like with the cannibals
• 7:05
  in the valley? Hills have eyes.
• 7:08
  Yes, it kind of feels like a mesh of Hills Have Eyes and like
• 7:10
  maybe Silent Hill or something. That sounds like an interesting
• 7:14
  nomination I'm kind of on board with.
• 7:16
  That I know. Like I'm kind of curious, Like,
• 7:18
  I don't know, maybe it's interesting.
• 7:20
  OK, finally fear.com. Whoa.
• 7:26
  Which also as you can see has the staticky image and then the
• 7:29
  handwritten logo of it. Got that poster.
• 7:33
  So misleading. We really thought that the movie
• 7:37
  was going to be more fun than we remembered it, and I think it
• 7:41
  was maybe less fun than we remembered it when we recently.
• 7:44
  Watched it. That's a case of like high
• 7:47
  potential, low effort. I don't know.
• 7:51
  I don't. I it wasn't for a lack of
• 7:53
  budget. I know that that budget is
• 7:55
  massive. 40 million. 40 million. Yeah, this came out August 30th
• 8:00
  of 2002 budget of 40 million and had a gross of 18,000,000.
• 8:04
  Yeah, it massively underperformed and it's got a
• 8:07
  3.4 out of 10. Yeah, I thought that budget was
• 8:12
  even bigger than that. I thought it was like 200
• 8:14
  million or something. That's what I remember last time
• 8:16
  reading it. That's that's a lot.
• 8:18
  Yeah, it's a lot of. Money like it's one of the most.
• 8:20
  Like it's a it's a fucking catastrophic failure of a film.
• 8:25
  Yeah. OK.
• 8:27
  So I've got some tag lines. OK Be careful what you wish for.
• 8:34
  OK Yeah. I mean, yeah, yeah.
• 8:39
  And then we've got the comma splice to end all comma splices
• 8:43
  in the school. When you're marked absent, you
• 8:46
  won't be coming back. It's like how my mom texts.
• 8:54
  I I mean, here's the thing, I think with this and with like
• 9:00
  the other poster they have with the Apple, they're really like
• 9:03
  banking on us making the teacher connection a lot sooner than we
• 9:07
  ever actually do, I. I never, I never fucking crossed
• 9:12
  my mind. No, no.
• 9:14
  I thought it was going to be like Howie or some shit.
• 9:16
  I was like, yeah, I'm like, cool.
• 9:18
  I'm. I'm seeing how this is.
• 9:20
  Going to happen, I thought it was a fucking supernatural
• 9:22
  thing. Yeah, it just Wow.
• 9:25
  I just yeah. OK.
• 9:28
  And finally, school's out forever.
• 9:32
  So we get the little Alice Cooper going on.
• 9:34
  Yeah, I'm never going to be mad about a little a coop, you know?
• 9:37
  Yeah, that's that's stupid. And that's OK.
• 9:40
  Yeah, yeah. So that's what I got, all right.
• 9:44
  So we don't do fun facts. Yeah, we don't do fun facts,
• 9:47
  'cause this is just a little bonus episodes, a little fun
• 9:49
  skis. Yeah, we'll fun skis, but that
• 9:51
  means that we can go ahead and talk about our good, bad, ugly
• 9:54
  and absurd. And I assume we have a lot to
• 9:56
  talk about in. All of those categories
• 9:59
  absolutely do. OK, Travis, what did you find
• 10:02
  good about this movie? OK, before sorry, I encourage
• 10:06
  people to watch this fucking movie because it's so fucking
• 10:08
  weird. Absolutely.
• 10:09
  Watch it and don't be put off by the hour 42 runtime.
• 10:12
  It doesn't feel like an power 42.
• 10:15
  This just feels like a movie that slipped through the cracks
• 10:18
  somehow. Yes.
• 10:18
  I don't know what happened to it.
• 10:20
  Yes. So I will say that this movie
• 10:22
  actually has some pretty fun kills to it.
• 10:25
  Yeah, I was kind of impressed with some of the things that
• 10:28
  they came up with. Bowling ball one that was brutal
• 10:31
  that right there I actually cringed whenever that hit his
• 10:35
  face. Yeah, When I believe Ball
• 10:37
  started rolling towards him. You're like no.
• 10:40
  They dodged it, and then it comes back at him like, whoa.
• 10:45
  I thought for sure that this was some kind of demon that was
• 10:50
  summoned because. Of the wish like wish master
• 10:52
  type like rip off thing. Yeah, but no.
• 10:56
  Like, we get like, but I I think it's kind of cool.
• 10:58
  Like, I wasn't expecting to have like a little slasher component
• 11:01
  to this movie. I thought it was all going to be
• 11:02
  like Supernatural. I thought it was going to be
• 11:04
  kind of like Final Destination where shit just happens and it
• 11:07
  looks like an accidental death. Yeah.
• 11:09
  But no, we get like a straight up murderer going around because
• 11:12
  somebody is making wishes. So yeah, I like that.
• 11:15
  And another one of my goods is it's very much of its time.
• 11:20
  And then I wrote in parentheses, for better or for worse, You got
• 11:24
  to take the good with the bad with that.
• 11:26
  And there's a lot of good to be. I know a lot of people shit on
• 11:29
  like early 2000s horror especially, but I kind of find
• 11:34
  like a little charm to it myself.
• 11:36
  It kind of reminded me of like it's like that sweet spot of say
• 11:41
  like a final destination or the faculty and like in between that
• 11:48
  and stay alive. Yes, and I think it hit the teen
• 11:52
  horror of this time just right. Yeah, exactly.
• 11:55
  It captured. It's fully Muniz era.
• 11:58
  Yeah, it is, yeah. This isn't the golden age of
• 12:01
  Muniz. This is like the beginning of
• 12:03
  the Muniz era. But yeah, no, I I just kind of
• 12:07
  like it. It's a fun feel.
• 12:08
  Like it's definitely like perfect teen horror.
• 12:11
  OK, for sure. So yeah, that's my good stuff.
• 12:14
  I like that this movie just kind of keeps moving.
• 12:17
  Like, we get into it right away, The stuff starts happening right
• 12:20
  away and it keeps itself interesting because we've got
• 12:23
  this investigation going on we didn't expect.
• 12:26
  Like we already touched on this briefly.
• 12:28
  We didn't expect as much meatloaf as we got.
• 12:31
  It's like we went to Grandma's house and she was like eat up
• 12:33
  theory. Oh man.
• 12:36
  I like and so that keeps going. We got stuff going on with the
• 12:40
  mayor and like there is a school dance that happens really fast
• 12:43
  and. Yeah, I was kind of surprised at
• 12:44
  how fast the dance comes and goes, but I'm happy that we at
• 12:47
  least got one to make this a prom.
• 12:48
  This is definitely a prom. They call it Spring Bash but.
• 12:51
  Spring Blast. Blast.
• 12:52
  But it's it's Prom. Yeah.
• 12:54
  And like, I also like that we've got because I mean we do have it
• 12:58
  is early 2000s as you said, for better or for worse.
• 13:01
  And there's definitely some language usage that like
• 13:03
  watching in 2024, you're like, yeah.
• 13:06
  You also get the shitty rock music that is.
• 13:09
  I hate it when you do that to me.
• 13:10
  Look, blame the House of Wax Drinking game Shitty rock.
• 13:14
  Music. I hate it when you do it with
• 13:15
  House of Wax. I call all like, even good
• 13:18
  songs, shitty rock music. If it if it happened in the
• 13:21
  2000s, it's just shitty. It's just the label that acts
• 13:25
  OK. But it yeah, So.
• 13:29
  I mean, there are some moments like that, but I also like that
• 13:32
  the dude, immediately he's like, yeah, no, I don't feel good
• 13:36
  about this, This feels wrong. And I like that, he tells her
• 13:39
  without like. But how long can I stretch this
• 13:41
  out? First, I like that as soon as
• 13:44
  he's like, oh, I've got feelings.
• 13:45
  He's like, I need to like, respect her as a human.
• 13:49
  Granted, the disrespect of like magic roofing her first not
• 13:53
  great, but he he owns it quickly enough.
• 13:57
  It's like a teenage mistake. Yeah.
• 13:59
  You know, like, I don't really feel like there's anything
• 14:02
  malicious with it. It's not good.
• 14:03
  And he learns from it. I mean, here's the thing, I
• 14:07
  don't want to draw too many real life comparisons because it's
• 14:10
  magic. So it's like, you know what I
• 14:13
  mean? But the tabula rasa of it all,
• 14:18
  you don't get that reference yet.
• 14:20
  I don't. See, what the fuck is?
• 14:21
  That, but it like it is messing with somebody's consent and
• 14:27
  willpower and stuff and that's not good.
• 14:30
  And I don't want to chalk it up to a teenage mistake because you
• 14:35
  know it it it's a mistake. Let's not chalk it up to being a
• 14:39
  teenager. Let's say that it's let's call a
• 14:42
  spade a spade. He did something shitty to
• 14:45
  somebody he claimed to care about, and he does at least own
• 14:48
  it. And he doesn't try to justify it
• 14:50
  away. Yeah, it doesn't change the fact
• 14:52
  that he did it. I'm not saying it to make it
• 14:55
  better, I'm just saying like, especially as we're younger,
• 14:59
  we're more prone to make certain mistakes as opposed to when we
• 15:03
  get older and we understand things a little bit better.
• 15:05
  Yeah, but I think at 18 you should have enough respect for
• 15:08
  somebody else's personal autonomy.
• 15:10
  You should think so, yeah. Yeah.
• 15:13
  So yeah, I I do like that they you know it.
• 15:16
  It's not a whole like he has to be called out on it, aside from
• 15:21
  like how we kind of slapped him into reality.
• 15:23
  But like it. It's not like she found out and
• 15:26
  he only apologizes cuz now she's mad at him.
• 15:29
  His friend points out that he's being shitty and then he he's up
• 15:34
  to. Yeah.
• 15:36
  And then there's also some interesting commentary, cuz
• 15:39
  we've got all of the different social groups and seeing them
• 15:41
  interacting. And a lot of times people are
• 15:44
  referring to Sam as, like this airheaded bimbo.
• 15:47
  And he's like, she's really not. And like, you see them like
• 15:49
  they're talking about like foreign films and having like an
• 15:52
  actually decently deep discussion about it.
• 15:54
  And I like. And I think it's interesting
• 15:57
  that he keeps going, like just because she's a cheerleader
• 15:59
  doesn't mean she's dumb. What is wrong with you guys like
• 16:02
  and like her boyfriend being an asshole and her just being like,
• 16:04
  well, everybody expects me to just follow him around.
• 16:06
  And he's like, well, you don't have to.
• 16:08
  And he's like, you also don't have to go to school right away.
• 16:11
  So I I think it touched on some stuff that you don't really see
• 16:14
  touched on as explicitly as you normally get in these types of
• 16:19
  teen movies, especially in 2002, so.
• 16:22
  Yeah, it's not quite as trophy as you would expect something
• 16:24
  like that to be like. It kind of does different stuff
• 16:27
  than you would expect. Can I do my bad before you?
• 16:29
  Cuz I just have one bad. Sure.
• 16:32
  The fact that as soon as this movie started, you said that
• 16:35
  Michael Weston looks like Jimmy Fallon and it ruined the entire
• 16:39
  rest of the movie for me because.
• 16:40
  He does. He looks exactly like Jimmy
• 16:42
  Fallon. It's insane.
• 16:45
  Like we even said, he looks like he's about to break.
• 16:47
  Yeah, he like. He's got like, his little.
• 16:49
  He's about to, like, just burst out laughing in the middle of a
• 16:52
  scene. Yeah, it's kind of uncanny.
• 16:54
  Yeah, so my bad is more the audience I watched it with.
• 16:57
  But you know. Hey, that's what happens when
• 17:00
  you go to the movie. Sometimes I wonder if there's
• 17:03
  like some kind of like secret relationship between those two.
• 17:07
  Like, that'd be one of the things where you go to
• 17:09
  ancestry.com and be like, holy shit, I'm related to Jim.
• 17:11
  Fallon Well, and they also did that thing that was pretty
• 17:14
  common around this time. I feel like, and part of me
• 17:16
  wonders if they were casting in a certain way, that they could
• 17:18
  have people fill in for each other if needed.
• 17:21
  But like all of the lead males looked, all the lead male actors
• 17:28
  looked similar in a way. Like there was enough that you
• 17:35
  could tell them apart, but like it was just kind of odd how they
• 17:39
  looked similar. I would say I don't know how
• 17:42
  much I agree with that necessarily.
• 17:44
  He looks like Jimmy Fallon. Howie looks like Chandler.
• 17:49
  And then you got the jock boyfriend.
• 17:51
  I don't even remember his name. Cody, Cody.
• 17:54
  And then you got Jimbo who is like a larger man.
• 17:58
  So I have feel like they. And then you got the teacher who
• 18:01
  is like it kind of reminded me of the the fuck what's the term
• 18:10
  for landlord? The landlord from three
• 18:14
  companies. Mr. Roper.
• 18:16
  Yeah, he kind of looked like him all right.
• 18:18
  At least I got that impression. Speaking of friends, did you
• 18:23
  recognize Alexandra Holden? Who is Alexandra Holden?
• 18:26
  Sam. Is that no, I don't know.
• 18:35
  She had a several episode long arc on Friends where she was one
• 18:39
  of Ross's students and they have a relationship with Bruce
• 18:43
  Willis's daughter. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember
• 18:47
  that now. You're right.
• 18:49
  Interesting. OK, so my bad.
• 18:52
  Yeah, my bad. I had a hard time taking the
• 18:58
  movie seriously with the score that they had.
• 19:01
  That's the only thing that made you have a hard time taking the
• 19:04
  movie seriously. Well, not necessarily, but it
• 19:06
  didn't help things. I just thought that the score
• 19:09
  wasn't a very serious score. It was kind of, like, weirdly
• 19:14
  upbeat. See, though I feel like this
• 19:16
  movie knows what it is, I don't think it was trying to be taken
• 19:19
  seriously. You don't name one of your leads
• 19:23
  Sparky. Sparky.
• 19:25
  Wait, who was Sparky? Meatloaf.
• 19:28
  Oh fuck, you're right. I just brought him a meatloaf
• 19:30
  the entire time. That wasn't a cutesy nickname
• 19:33
  that Zelda Rubenstein gave him. That's his name I.
• 19:37
  Forget she's in this too. Yes, I've.
• 19:40
  Heard my list of goods, by the way.
• 19:42
  OK, I didn't put her in there. She's only in a couple of
• 19:44
  scenes, but. The couple.
• 19:46
  Of scenes. She's amazing.
• 19:47
  Yeah, Meatloaf is probably one of my goods too.
• 19:49
  Like, I was actually really impressed with his acting in
• 19:52
  this movie. He actually, he was probably the
• 19:54
  best actor in the movie. If I probably.
• 19:56
  Yeah. But no, I mean, like, I just
• 19:59
  kind of didn't necessarily care for it.
• 20:02
  I feel like it could have been a little bit more serious.
• 20:07
  Like, I don't think that they're going for silly and that's the
• 20:11
  that's what I got from the score from this.
• 20:14
  And the other thing I have is I thought that the reveal of the
• 20:18
  killer being the teacher was kind of mad it.
• 20:21
  Was so out of left field we got nothing like.
• 20:24
  And it's not even meaningful. Like he's like, even his like
• 20:26
  rationale for it is just kind of like okay, like you're his
• 20:30
  favorite or that's your favorite student.
• 20:34
  So you give him the thing and he just, you don't like what he's
• 20:37
  doing with this or you're killing people like.
• 20:39
  Yeah. Oh my God, you gave bull's penis
• 20:42
  to a horny teenage boy and you're shocked that he wanted to
• 20:45
  get laid. Yeah, it's it's just kind of
• 20:49
  the. I guess maybe he was hoping that
• 20:51
  he wasn't going to like magic Roofie somebody.
• 20:53
  Maybe he thought he was better than that.
• 20:55
  Maybe. I don't know.
• 20:56
  That's, you know, I mean, I that is exactly what he hoped.
• 21:00
  But yeah, I just kind of whatever.
• 21:03
  Okay, what's your ugly? Do you need to pause so you can
• 21:05
  fix that? I'm good.
• 21:06
  Okay, cuz if you're touching it, it's gonna.
• 21:09
  Well, it just it keeps sliding down so and there's nothing I
• 21:12
  can do to fix that so. Talking about the mic by the
• 21:14
  way, this is unedited so I have to explain Okay.
• 21:18
  What's your ugly? Well, the ugly.
• 21:21
  I kind of think we already brushed on that, taking
• 21:23
  advantage of somebody by, you know, wishing for her to be into
• 21:27
  him against her will. Yeah, it's not exactly cool.
• 21:30
  We've already talked about it. Yeah, I'm going to add in a
• 21:33
  couple cuz like, how he wants in on it before he realizes that
• 21:37
  his friend's not intending to be a creep and he's like, oh hey,
• 21:40
  if we're not trying to be creeps here, then you need to realize
• 21:43
  that you're you kind of suck right now, dude.
• 21:45
  Hey, he at least his was like more of like, I want to just be
• 21:49
  a badass and not like I'm wanting people to be on that.
• 21:53
  No, no, because he specifically asks Brett if he can borrow Sam.
• 21:58
  Oh, that's right. You're right.
• 21:59
  He does say that. That is weird.
• 22:01
  And then also Cody. Cody sucks.
• 22:03
  He's very possessive of her and the way she is just like, oh, do
• 22:06
  you want me to do the splits? Cody always makes me do the
• 22:08
  splits. I'm like Jesus Christ.
• 22:11
  That's such a weird thing to do too.
• 22:13
  Like, hey, I'm with you right now, but let me tell you all the
• 22:14
  things I did with my ex, like that's the turn off.
• 22:18
  She was magic roofied. I don't know what you expect.
• 22:21
  I don't know. I'm just saying like it's not
• 22:24
  exactly the the best decision in that moment.
• 22:28
  OK, so absurd. Yes.
• 22:31
  All right. Well, we're kind of out of order
• 22:35
  now, so you go ahead and start with the absurd.
• 22:37
  OK, well, the names because Brett Bumpers.
• 22:42
  Why? Why Bumpers?
• 22:44
  Especially because Cody because he's like all jockey and he
• 22:46
  calls people who doesn't like by their last name.
• 22:49
  He's like Bumpers. Like, I can't take that
• 22:51
  seriously. Same with Sparky.
• 22:53
  Sparky. Like, it's just why I felt.
• 22:56
  Like Sparky might be a nickname, though we don't get a first.
• 22:59
  Name they literally. Consistently.
• 23:02
  Even the mayor calls him Sparky. Sparky, yeah.
• 23:05
  That's like small town shit. I just and I for a while I
• 23:09
  thought Jimbo was his actual literal name because it it
• 23:13
  wasn't until like the school assembly that they finally call
• 23:16
  him James. Like even Zalda Rubenstein is
• 23:19
  like Jim Mao, the fact that the totem is a bull penis.
• 23:25
  That's one of mine, too. Yeah.
• 23:26
  The fact that, like, the whole thing centers around a Dick,
• 23:31
  It's kind of. Interesting.
• 23:32
  Like there's a metaphor in there somewhere, I'm sure.
• 23:35
  Yeah, there's there's something you.
• 23:37
  Know what? Maybe this movie wasn't meant to
• 23:39
  be serious. I guess you're right.
• 23:40
  It could be. Sometimes you just got to reach
• 23:42
  out and grab the bull by the Dick.
• 23:44
  You know when Sam gives Brett her phone number by writing out
• 23:53
  in his writing it on his hand in pink highlighter?
• 23:57
  Yeah, figure out about. That show up.
• 24:00
  It's so funny. Is she smart?
• 24:05
  The line that Zelda Ravenstein delivers that I use as my
• 24:07
  opener, where she basically is like the murder victim was alive
• 24:12
  when the murder murdered him. She uses that as like a a by the
• 24:17
  way, like I was like Sparky's leaving like.
• 24:19
  By the way, Jimbo was alive when the killer beheaded him.
• 24:23
  And I was like, oh, so he was alive before he was dead.
• 24:27
  Good at me work, get. The best autopsy.
• 24:32
  What the fuck do you call these people?
• 24:33
  Medical examiner ME. Glad I didn't say optometrists,
• 24:38
  except. Now we all know that's what's in
• 24:43
  your head. And then?
• 24:44
  It's the eyes. Yeah.
• 24:46
  OK. Do you have anything else?
• 24:49
  Yes, the benches in the locker room that are Oh my.
• 24:52
  God, I forgot about that. Two by fours the.
• 24:56
  Fucking toothpicks. They're sitting on toothpicks in
• 24:59
  the. Locker Room 2 by Fours.
• 25:02
  Dude, I I was thinking when I saw I was like poor Jimbo.
• 25:05
  How's Jimbo handling that right there?
• 25:07
  Not allowed to sit on those. Jimbo snaps at.
• 25:10
  Jimbo, you're a defensive lineman.
• 25:12
  You're not allowed. Yeah, like, even like the
• 25:15
  tiniest person cannot fit on one of those things.
• 25:18
  It's, it's. Ridiculous.
• 25:19
  I wouldn't feel comfortable sitting on that.
• 25:21
  I'm not like 300 lbs on purpose. Yeah, it's it's insane.
• 25:25
  That was. I forgot about that.
• 25:28
  Wow. Well, I mean, you've taken a lot
• 25:32
  of good ones. Here I was, I was.
• 25:34
  I was like I need to make notes of this because I won't
• 25:37
  remember. All that's the best thing,
• 25:38
  that's that's the best way to do it.
• 25:40
  All right. I've got one to add.
• 25:43
  How he wishes to be like Steven Seagal.
• 25:48
  His epitome of a bad. Ass.
• 25:50
  Was Steven Seagal and who else was it?
• 25:55
  Shit. Who?
• 25:56
  Hold on. I made a note.
• 25:58
  Let me see if I can find it. OK, I'm checking mine too.
• 26:05
  It's somewhere in here. Oh, Tommy, Lee and Steven.
• 26:10
  Seagal. Oh yeah, Tommy Lee 'cause he's
• 26:12
  got a hot wife. Yeah, just in his two bad ass
• 26:16
  idols. I'm going to say maybe the wish
• 26:18
  did come true because we know for a fact that Steven Seagal
• 26:22
  can't fight for sure he did like the fake martial arts thing
• 26:26
  where they use like energy and like, hey, I'm going to predict
• 26:29
  where you attack and then boom. Yeah, also the fact that he's
• 26:32
  like an actor. He's an actor, but one of those
• 26:36
  people like, like Bruce Lee, Like, I think he marketed
• 26:39
  himself as like a Bruce Lee, which is somebody that can
• 26:41
  actually fight, and it just applies it to film.
• 26:46
  OK yeah. No, it's not the case.
• 26:48
  OK. So I guess it's time to rate it.
• 26:51
  OK. It's a fun little movie.
• 26:53
  I actually enjoy my watch with this.
• 26:56
  I think I'd give this like a 6 1/2.
• 26:58
  OK, I'm in even a 7 1/2. Whoa.
• 27:00
  OK. I actually, I was watching this
• 27:03
  and I was like, where has this movie been all our lives?
• 27:05
  Hey, you know what? I got good news for you.
• 27:07
  It was a Shout Factory TV movie through Tubi.
• 27:10
  So that tells me that Scream Factory must have a release out
• 27:14
  there so we can maybe own this thing.
• 27:18
  No, I like that. It's just I had so much fun
• 27:22
  watching this. Yeah, it was a it was a
• 27:25
  surprising all, all flick. OK, cool.
• 27:28
  So what's her? What's her average?
• 27:30
  Seven. She had.
• 27:31
  She had. OK, all right, so we begin.
• 27:35
  Are you ready? Yes.
• 27:37
  OK, so we begin with some Lord of the Rings font, letting us
• 27:42
  know the movie's called witchcraft and doing the opening
• 27:45
  credits. Witchcraft.
• 27:46
  And then we get a caption that says intense rock music.
• 27:50
  And we will get that three separate times during this
• 27:51
  opening credits, just in case you forget that it's intense
• 27:55
  rock music. And then we get anonymous type
• 27:59
  ominous typewriter. So we cut to a nerd tutoring a
• 28:05
  cheerleader and this would be Brett and Sam.
• 28:08
  And she asked him what he likes and he was like, I like English
• 28:12
  and she was like, I meant in general.
• 28:14
  And he goes, oh, food, movies and girls.
• 28:18
  Girls, yeah. And then that's when we learned
• 28:22
  that Cody just has a bunch of toxic masculinity.
• 28:26
  Because he was like Cody thought you were gay like.
• 28:29
  Oh, yeah. She's like, oh, yeah, I got to
• 28:30
  go tell Cody. Like, why do you got to go tell
• 28:32
  Cody about this? Like, what does this even have
• 28:34
  to do with him? And like, because she he thinks
• 28:37
  that anybody who doesn't play, any guy who doesn't play sports
• 28:39
  is gay. And that's just like Red Flag
• 28:42
  City, man. Yeah, that's kind of that's.
• 28:44
  That's a weird thing, yeah. So Brett has no date for the
• 28:47
  dance, and his mom is like, just thinks he's the best boy and
• 28:53
  eventually he'll find the right girl for him.
• 28:56
  So we got to history class and Cody gets in trouble for
• 28:59
  flirting with Sam. And I argue it's I wrote
• 29:02
  flirting in my notes, but like, at one point he's like trying to
• 29:04
  grope her from behind in class, in history class.
• 29:09
  It is kind of strange and Mr. Turner, the teacher here doesn't
• 29:14
  necessarily do enough I would say.
• 29:16
  He just kind of puts them on the spot and he lets them take
• 29:19
  control of the situation, 'cause he's like OK Cody.
• 29:22
  Also another absurd thing. They like drop a lot of like
• 29:24
  Hitler shit in this movie. Like a lot of Hitler shit.
• 29:28
  There's such an excessive focus on.
• 29:30
  Hitler I don't understand. Like they're.
• 29:31
  Studying World War 2 here. I get that they're studying
• 29:33
  World War 2, but it's like, again, I feel like they're
• 29:36
  trying to have a metaphor in there somewhere, yeah.
• 29:40
  You didn't even mention something like a girl later
• 29:42
  having a Hitler. Sash, I'm like, this is weird.
• 29:44
  This is too much Hitler. But he, like, asks him about,
• 29:49
  like, which battle turned the tides of the World War to
• 29:53
  Germany. Whatever.
• 29:54
  And Cody's like, I don't know, let me pass it over to Jimbo and
• 29:58
  he's like, Oh yeah, well, Jimbo, what do you think?
• 30:00
  And. And how he's like, I know, I
• 30:02
  know. Mr. Turner's like, no, you're an
• 30:04
  idiot. Like he's like, know how you're
• 30:07
  wrong. He just doesn't even let him
• 30:09
  answer how he's like, so over the top and this.
• 30:14
  I We're gonna get to it in a second.
• 30:18
  We'll talk about it in a second, OK?
• 30:19
  Well. Brett tries to bail Sam out and
• 30:23
  she is not getting that. He's trying to bail her out.
• 30:25
  She can't read lips. Yeah, which like I would be in a
• 30:28
  similar situation, but I wouldn't say what like.
• 30:31
  Yeah. What is it, Brett?
• 30:32
  What's the answer? Answer.
• 30:34
  What is it? Hold on, Mr. Turner, Brett's
• 30:36
  telling me. Hey, what is it?
• 30:39
  The answer is battle with the bulge.
• 30:40
  By the way, I'm surprised we didn't get a boner joke.
• 30:44
  From Howie. Yeah, like, I just, I I feel
• 30:48
  it's 2002. They're high schoolers and
• 30:51
  they're using the word bulge. Yeah, I mean, they've crossed my
• 30:54
  mind and I'm a 31 year old man. Yeah, so we cut to brown video
• 31:01
  chatting with video. Chatting.
• 31:02
  They just saw each other in school, but it's OK.
• 31:07
  I kind of like their friendship moment here, 'cause they both
• 31:10
  have little wind up symbol monkeys.
• 31:12
  I was gonna say I my note here, it says have monkey war.
• 31:15
  Yeah, and they're like holding them up against each other.
• 31:17
  I want, I want more information about the monkeys 'cause this
• 31:20
  seems like a very specific thing to their friendship and I
• 31:24
  thought we would get something coming back around to them.
• 31:27
  Oh shit. I wonder if it's like a like
• 31:30
  it's a little Easter egg for like the monkey.
• 31:35
  It's like the little monkey Clapper thing where there's like
• 31:38
  a movie. Oh shit, our power just flipped
• 31:40
  or not. Our light just flipped.
• 31:43
  It's like a George Romero movie. It's like a wish type thing like
• 31:47
  this right here where the it's like a monkey's paw type thing.
• 31:52
  Yeah, yeah. That's what I think it is.
• 31:55
  OK, so the next day they're sitting under their tree outside
• 31:59
  of the school and they're talking about the different
• 32:02
  friend groups that are the different, like social groups
• 32:04
  that exist around the school and how he is delusional because he
• 32:07
  thinks he could blend in with any group.
• 32:09
  And he says that Brett could only fit in with the nerds.
• 32:14
  And then they watch the punks and the jocks fight.
• 32:18
  Eddie just likes to get in fights with people.
• 32:20
  He's one of the punks. I thought Eddie and Desiree were
• 32:23
  going to be bigger characters because they kind of give them
• 32:26
  both like a decent amount of screen time, but they have no
• 32:29
  part in this movie really. Yeah, like they showed Desiree
• 32:31
  coming to class late. Earlier on I didn't even write
• 32:34
  it down because it didn't seem important.
• 32:36
  I did, because it did seem important.
• 32:37
  I thought that they were building something with her,
• 32:39
  like, oh, she's late, she's a badass.
• 32:41
  Is something going to be going on with her later?
• 32:43
  Yeah, I like, I don't know, they they just throw them in there
• 32:47
  for additional characters. She's, I don't know, one of the
• 32:51
  girls is like the cheerleaders is mad or the jock is mad
• 32:54
  because she burned somebody's pom poms, which causes a fight
• 32:57
  between them. OK, I missed the burnt pom pom
• 33:00
  thing. Yeah, OK, so now Brett goes
• 33:03
  home. He checks his smell and he has
• 33:05
  received a package. It says steer recipient.
• 33:08
  The totem will only grant 3 wishes.
• 33:10
  Be careful what you wish for. Then he tosses it in the trash.
• 33:14
  Yep. And then Howie is mad that Brett
• 33:18
  threw it away because he was like, dude, if you have wishes,
• 33:20
  then you need to use those. And he goes, are you kidding me?
• 33:23
  And he's like, no, at least try it.
• 33:25
  So he tells him to make a wish and he wishes that Sam would go
• 33:30
  to Spring Blast with him. And the next day Sam just comes
• 33:34
  up to him and asks him to Spring Blast.
• 33:37
  And then Cody is like, Sam, Are you trying to humiliate me?
• 33:40
  Maybe this isn't about you, Cody.
• 33:42
  Just a thought. Well, it.
• 33:44
  Is weird if your girlfriend asks another guy to the dance, Yeah,
• 33:48
  I think as a justified agreement.
• 33:50
  Like, are you trying to humiliate me as opposed to like,
• 33:54
  whoa, what's up? What's going wrong in our
• 33:57
  relationship? That's what I'm saying.
• 33:59
  He he's making it about him and not about, like, their
• 34:02
  relationship. I guess, yeah.
• 34:04
  It's taking her basically out of the equation, beyond being like
• 34:09
  his girlfriend. Like whose property?
• 34:11
  OK. I guess I could see that.
• 34:13
  Yeah, yeah, OK, so they go to Brett and Howie, go to like this
• 34:17
  little curio shop to figure out what the totem is.
• 34:21
  And the man is like, it's a bull Dick.
• 34:24
  And they're like, OK, weird. And he's like, I'll give you
• 34:27
  $30.00 for it and they're like, what now he goes 150.
• 34:31
  He went to jumped up. He went to the motherfucker
• 34:33
  Jones School of I'll give you 30.
• 34:37
  Negotiation. No.
• 34:38
  That's OK. I have 150.
• 34:40
  Damn, that shop way up and. Like when it shoots way up like
• 34:44
  that, I'm like, well, definitely not now, because I feel like
• 34:46
  maybe it's valuable. Maybe.
• 34:48
  This guy is just like a Dick connoisseur.
• 34:49
  Or he knows what's going on with this thing.
• 34:52
  I don't know. He never comes back.
• 34:53
  Maybe that's one in the same. He could be, yeah.
• 34:57
  OK, so now they're going to the spring blast together.
• 35:02
  When he picks Sam up, he says, Why did you invite me to the
• 35:06
  spring blast? And she was like, I don't really
• 35:08
  know, which is not the answer you want.
• 35:10
  And it's clearly not the answer Brett wants, but it's okay
• 35:14
  because they go to the dance and they're having a good time and
• 35:16
  they even slow dance together. And he drops her off at home
• 35:20
  afterwards. And this is all the problem we
• 35:22
  get. Sorry, folks, we knew that there
• 35:25
  was a dance involved. We didn't realize it was
• 35:27
  literally 15 seconds worth. And he says, do you want to like
• 35:32
  maybe go to a movie or dinner or something this weekend?
• 35:35
  And she goes, I think we should just go back to the relationship
• 35:38
  we had, which as a reminder isn't even friends.
• 35:41
  He just tutors her about Hitler. I would say that they're like
• 35:46
  friendly. They're friendly, but I wouldn't
• 35:50
  say they're friends. Probably not, no.
• 35:54
  OK, so now we get Jimbo and his dates.
• 35:58
  Yeah, Christy, I think. Is.
• 35:59
  I couldn't remember. Her name?
• 36:01
  Yeah. Well, it doesn't come up until
• 36:02
  later. He's trying to get some while
• 36:04
  driving. Yeah, and as a result almost
• 36:07
  wrecks into a man. I believe his name later is
• 36:10
  revealed to be Eugene. Yeah, he he cut them off, to be
• 36:14
  fair. But he was also driving
• 36:16
  distracted here. Yes, yes.
• 36:18
  So that's just, you know, it's it's a mess all around.
• 36:23
  Yeah, so they. What?
• 36:25
  We got sirens going on. Everything's ominous.
• 36:28
  Today. So we cut to them.
• 36:30
  They're like making out in the sandwich.
• 36:31
  I was like, what the fuck is this?
• 36:33
  So yeah, so apparently it's an area that they come to make out
• 36:35
  at often and Christy's like why are we always here?
• 36:37
  And he's like cuz it's a great. Spot.
• 36:39
  It's a golf course. OK.
• 36:40
  I always about yeah, cuz it zooms out.
• 36:42
  They're right. They're in one of the bunkers.
• 36:44
  I completely missed that. Yeah.
• 36:46
  There's like one of the little poles there.
• 36:47
  Yeah. So they're at a golf course.
• 36:49
  That's why the spring courts turn on.
• 36:50
  It's a good. Flag.
• 36:52
  Isn't it a flag? What did I say?
• 36:54
  Pole. Yeah, it's like a pole with a
• 36:56
  flag. We're just splitting hairs here.
• 36:58
  That's. Fine, so yeah, the sprinklers
• 37:02
  come on and it soaks them so they run back to the car.
• 37:04
  But somehow how he forgot his beats.
• 37:09
  Hey, I don't know, man. I think he was hoping.
• 37:12
  I think he was hoping that they would just kind of like, stay
• 37:14
  naked. But she wasn't really feeling
• 37:16
  it. She was soaked.
• 37:17
  She just got soaked. It ruined her dress.
• 37:18
  I can see why she's mad. So he goes back to get his pants
• 37:21
  and finds him in a tree and he's like very funny.
• 37:24
  Who are you talking to? Jimbo.
• 37:26
  Who do you think is there? And when he goes to get his
• 37:29
  pants, he's approached by a cloaked figure and then we get
• 37:34
  some knife squelching. That's the first time I've ever
• 37:37
  seen a knife squelch. Yeah, that's so that's brand
• 37:41
  new. Yeah.
• 37:42
  Also, I'm glad. We received that though.
• 37:43
  This is blade overkill because the killer has a sword and also
• 37:48
  a survival knife. Yeah, which is that's definitely
• 37:53
  a combination that you can do, yeah, if you want to.
• 37:56
  Chrissy is wondering where he is, so she goes to look for him
• 37:59
  and finds his head on Spike. So meatloaf approaches and it's
• 38:06
  like, wow, this is a mess. We better wake up Zelda
• 38:09
  Rubenstein. I don't remember McGrath.
• 38:11
  His name? McGrath, and she says that the
• 38:16
  injuries are consistent with both a survival knife and a
• 38:19
  sword. Yeah, the decapitation was done
• 38:21
  with a knife. The stabbing was done with a
• 38:23
  sword. Which feels backwards, I'm gonna
• 38:26
  say. Yeah.
• 38:27
  Also, I feel like we saw was it. I feel like we saw a knife
• 38:30
  stabbing. I mean the knife quelch.
• 38:32
  Yeah, I was going to say, which was backed up by the caption.
• 38:34
  Exactly, I don't. Know, maybe he's all to
• 38:36
  Rubenstein. She did complain about being
• 38:38
  woken up at 4:00 AM, so maybe she's just she's.
• 38:41
  Phoning it. In Yeah.
• 38:43
  And then she says, by the way, Detective Jimbo was alive and
• 38:46
  the killer beheaded him. And I realized that this is the
• 38:48
  third time I've said that line. But guys, it's so ridiculous.
• 38:53
  Think about how silly that line is.
• 38:55
  It's also ridiculous seeing her next to Meatloaf, because
• 39:00
  Meatloaf's head is the size of her entire body.
• 39:03
  It's like seeing one of our cats next to Talia.
• 39:06
  It really is. And The thing is, it's not
• 39:09
  camera tricks. There's just no forced
• 39:10
  perspective shit going on. You're standing side by side.
• 39:13
  He's a large man and she's. A tiny woman?
• 39:16
  Yeah, that's. Just that's just how they are.
• 39:20
  So there's a school assembly where they do.
• 39:21
  We care about our students, and if anybody needs to talk, we're
• 39:25
  available. Also, if you have any
• 39:28
  information about the murder loops, no, please.
• 39:30
  Thanks. Bye.
• 39:31
  And so we see Brett and Sam talking afterwards, and she
• 39:40
  like, you know, they just kind of have a little chit chat and
• 39:43
  it eventually comes out that she doesn't know what her plans are
• 39:46
  for school because Cody's got scholarships to a bunch of
• 39:49
  different schools already. And the expectation from him and
• 39:52
  from her family is that she's just going to follow him
• 39:54
  wherever he goes. And you feel kind of bad for
• 39:56
  her, cuz it's like nobody expects her to be anything other
• 39:59
  than like a. Cow's girlfriend.
• 40:02
  Yeah, like that's her lot in life is because she's pretty.
• 40:06
  That's all she needs to worry about doing.
• 40:08
  It's so interesting that her family would even be like, yeah,
• 40:10
  you gotta follow Cody. Like why?
• 40:12
  There are some families that are like that though, that are like
• 40:15
  your responsibility is to be pretty and marry rich and then
• 40:18
  that everything will be taken care of for you.
• 40:20
  Yeah, but Brett's like, no, Like, don't you, like, you
• 40:26
  probably want to travel or something?
• 40:27
  Or he wants to travel. She's like, yeah, that's what I
• 40:29
  want to do too, or whatever, so that they bond over to that.
• 40:32
  Yeah Eddie is being questioned about the fight that happened
• 40:36
  with Jimbo the day before and then we cut to Howie and the
• 40:41
  principal's office fake crying about Jimbo cuz he wants a hug
• 40:44
  from the school counselor cuz Howie's kind of gross.
• 40:47
  And then instead the principal who?
• 40:50
  No way is it this. No, it's the principal.
• 40:52
  No, it's no cabin fever. You're.
• 40:54
  Right. We watched him back-to-back to.
• 40:56
  Me principles, yeah. Yeah, so this principal's just
• 40:59
  confused. So he hugs how he Brett wishes
• 41:03
  Sam would be his girlfriend forever without wondering why.
• 41:06
  And that's creepy to even say out loud.
• 41:09
  Like he's like, I wanted to be in love with, Like, I think he's
• 41:12
  not really fully understanding the ramifications until they
• 41:15
  actually happen. Like it's kind of one of those,
• 41:17
  like when you try and the secret something into existence and
• 41:20
  you're like, oh man, I want her to fall in love with me.
• 41:23
  And it's just actual, real, true love.
• 41:26
  And you know, we're together forever.
• 41:27
  Except he's like trying to put a spell on her, 'cause it's
• 41:32
  clearly not what she was planning for herself at that
• 41:34
  time in life. I think it'd be hilarious if you
• 41:36
  actually put like a time frame on it.
• 41:38
  Like, I'd like for her to be in love with me for like a year and
• 41:41
  a half. Yeah, that's it.
• 41:43
  And then we can break. Both.
• 41:44
  Like, yeah, we both grow as people and we realize that, you
• 41:48
  know, we have different interests, but we can remain
• 41:49
  friends and we'll still occasionally say like happy
• 41:51
  birthday and maybe get together once a.
• 41:53
  Year. It gets like super specific.
• 41:55
  Dude, if I had one of these things, I would get super, super
• 41:58
  specific with my wishes. That way I know that it's.
• 42:00
  Still, yeah, I just want the genie or the monkey or whatever
• 42:04
  is controlling it trying to fuck me up to be like I don't even
• 42:06
  know what loophole to find in any of this.
• 42:11
  So next day she's magic, magically in love with him since
• 42:16
  he's home sick. So she has to stop by his house
• 42:18
  and go be like, hey, I'm thinking about you.
• 42:22
  I don't know why, but do you want to go out sometime?
• 42:25
  And I love that they're in his house, like, with access to
• 42:28
  paper and pens and everything. Like, it's not like they're
• 42:31
  passing each other in the hall. And this is where she writes her
• 42:34
  phone number in pink. Highlight.
• 42:36
  On his palm. Like you're in the house?
• 42:38
  Yeah, like there's so many things you could have used here.
• 42:41
  Yeah, it's so stupid. Yeah, and Cody confronts Sam
• 42:44
  later and he's like mad that she broke up with him and wants to
• 42:47
  be with Brett. And again, it's not because he
• 42:49
  cares about Sam. It's because, like, it hurts his
• 42:53
  image and his ego to be broken up with, yeah.
• 42:59
  So. Brett calls Sam and asks if she
• 43:04
  wants to go out, like maybe to a movie or something on Saturday.
• 43:06
  And she goes, how about you come over to my house?
• 43:08
  My parents aren't going to be here, so yeah.
• 43:11
  He does. And you know what they do?
• 43:14
  What teenagers do when parents aren't home for the weekend.
• 43:17
  She does a whole strip for him and then she's like, hey, this
• 43:21
  is what Cody like for me to do. What do you want me to do?
• 43:25
  He's like, I don't want you to do any of that.
• 43:26
  Yeah, like, he's like, can we just like, I don't know, kiss
• 43:29
  for a minute, Maybe he's. Hell, he's like like a ghost.
• 43:34
  Well, he doesn't have any blood in his face at this moment,
• 43:36
  Travis. Nah, that's a good point.
• 43:39
  All right, so next day he how he picks up on the hints that they
• 43:44
  did it. He's begging for details and
• 43:46
  then he's just as gross as Cody because he's like, did she do
• 43:49
  the splits for you, dude? Yeah, yeah, dude, come on.
• 43:55
  Let's see, Brett goes to Mr. Turner and he's asking for
• 43:59
  details about magic. And Mr. Turner's like, Oh well,
• 44:02
  it's a bunch of shit. But like, we have all this lore
• 44:04
  and history and you know, This is why people think all of this.
• 44:07
  And he goes, you don't believe in magic, do you, Brett?
• 44:10
  And he goes, no, my little sister was asking about, like, a
• 44:12
  fairy wand and how it worked. And I wanted to try and maybe
• 44:15
  come up with a good explanation for her, which, like Mr. Turner,
• 44:19
  I like in this moment. I kind of understand Mr. Turner
• 44:22
  because he's like, I like your intellectual curiosity because
• 44:24
  if I heard that story, I'd be like, oh, that's cute that you,
• 44:27
  like, want to get into this for your little sister and like,
• 44:30
  you're trying to, like, find like, a basis of it.
• 44:33
  Yeah. Mr. Turner's playing the long
• 44:35
  game here. So where am I at?
• 44:41
  OK, Howie. Howie gets real with Brett about
• 44:44
  the whole thing. He calls out the whole
• 44:46
  situation. He's like, oh man, this isn't
• 44:47
  real and it's all fake. Yeah, she doesn't actually love
• 44:50
  you. Yeah, he's like, do you remember
• 44:51
  how before when you just wanted her to go to the spring dance
• 44:54
  with you and then she immediately was like, all right,
• 44:56
  cool, we're just friends and you think that this is real suddenly
• 45:00
  just because you made another wish?
• 45:02
  So Brett gets a phone call and he makes how we leave and how
• 45:06
  he's like, OK, cool. Now you have no time for me as
• 45:08
  your friend anymore. That's great.
• 45:11
  They go to Christy's party. Christy's having a I'm sad.
• 45:14
  My boyfriend has decapitated parties which.
• 45:17
  I thought it was just like a normal house party, but she's
• 45:21
  like, hey, this is a great idea for you to throw this party for.
• 45:24
  In memory of Jimbo, I'm like this.
• 45:26
  They're like, this buddy would have won.
• 45:28
  And I'm like, this is like trashy so like you're throwing a
• 45:31
  fucking rager in memory of a guy for being decapitated.
• 45:35
  I have two words for you. 2. Wes.
• 45:37
  Huh. Scream six.
• 45:41
  They do the exact same thing. You know what?
• 45:44
  You're right. They do.
• 45:46
  Yeah, they do. Straight up.
• 45:48
  And they also they do the stabathon and scream 4 right
• 45:52
  after murders, Right after Olivia's murder.
• 45:55
  I know, but I'm just saying like hidden panacea makes a point of
• 45:58
  view. Like this is Olivia would want
• 46:00
  this. Yeah, sure.
• 46:01
  She's already really wasted. So that was that's true.
• 46:04
  Drunk talking, I think. Fair enough.
• 46:08
  So Howie has stolen Brett's bull penis?
• 46:12
  Yep. He he makes a wish.
• 46:15
  He wants to be a badass mofo. He doesn't park outside of like
• 46:18
  a. Dive bar, that's.
• 46:19
  Dangerous. Got bikers and shit, yeah.
• 46:22
  So he wants to be badass like Tommy Lee, who has a hot wife,
• 46:25
  and Steven Seagal. And then?
• 46:28
  He he fucking rolls into the bar and I I give him credit because
• 46:32
  he got the confidence and he goes in there and the guy he.
• 46:35
  Kicks the stool out. From the guy asked for the ID
• 46:38
  Superman. Yeah, he's like, fuck that shit.
• 46:40
  Steven Seagal wouldn't do that. Steven Seagal would kick.
• 46:43
  You know, like Steven Seagal would also have a ponytail, A
• 46:46
  duster, and teeny tiny sunglasses.
• 46:48
  But I digress. That's my change.
• 46:51
  I would just have to seen him like he suddenly has like a
• 46:54
  goatee and like just stupid little shades and he's.
• 46:57
  Like and a duster. And a duster, Yeah, he needs the
• 47:00
  duster, yeah. But he gets kicked out.
• 47:02
  I. Was supposed I was supposed how
• 47:04
  he doesn't already have a duster.
• 47:05
  Actually, he seems like. The type.
• 47:07
  You know what? You're right.
• 47:09
  So yeah, they they aren't having any of that shit.
• 47:11
  They kick him out, they. Strip him to his undies first
• 47:15
  though. Thank God we don't have tidy
• 47:16
  whities. I appreciate this movie not
• 47:18
  forcing tidy whities on us. I don't know why movies and TV's
• 47:21
  do that so often. You would think that more men in
• 47:24
  the world are wearing tidy whities and I just feel like
• 47:27
  that's not that's. Not accurate.
• 47:29
  Yeah. No.
• 47:30
  OK, so he goes to his room. He's very He goes to bed in his
• 47:37
  little jam, jam and he's so sore.
• 47:41
  He's just, he's walking around there.
• 47:43
  It's like. Yeah, shout out to the makeup
• 47:46
  department for not bothering to put even, like, a bruise or a
• 47:48
  scratch on him. And he had to do all of the
• 47:51
  acting himself. AJ Buckley's like, all right,
• 47:54
  When's the last time I've been beat up?
• 47:57
  No. Like, my thought whenever I was
• 47:59
  watching this was like, oh, the wish had a negative impact on
• 48:02
  him. He's sick.
• 48:03
  He's gonna die. I know.
• 48:05
  He's just, like, really asking. He's just hurry.
• 48:07
  He's just just like walking to the bathroom.
• 48:10
  I thought, he's going there to throw up.
• 48:12
  To pee. So he just walks back to his
• 48:17
  bedroom. And his window is open and he's
• 48:19
  like, what? And then somebody jumps in and
• 48:21
  he starts stabbing him. Except it's a retractable knife
• 48:24
  and it's Brett because he's pissed at how he stole his
• 48:27
  thing. How?
• 48:28
  Why is this? How you approach?
• 48:30
  This. But what if the wish had worked
• 48:32
  and how he really was a badass? He would have killed him.
• 48:35
  Yeah, he would have clocked that shit, you know, like.
• 48:39
  I would have loved to have seen him do like a whole Steven
• 48:42
  Seagal. Like if I go, I mean, that might
• 48:47
  actually be like Steven Seagal. Yeah, you know, yeah.
• 48:51
  So how he apologizes and he's like, I just feel like you
• 48:56
  haven't had any time for me since you got a girlfriend two
• 48:59
  days ago. Yeah.
• 49:00
  And Brad? Actually, he's like, yeah, you
• 49:02
  know what? I've kind of been a Dick.
• 49:03
  So I'm. Sorry, I It's very We have a
• 49:07
  joke in our house about there's a Netflix movie with Freddie
• 49:11
  Prince Junior. It's a holiday movie.
• 49:13
  It's called Christmas With You. And when you joke around about
• 49:16
  how the music is very like and all of our problems are solved.
• 49:21
  Do do do, do. That's this movie constantly
• 49:25
  with Howie and Brett. Like, they talk about their
• 49:27
  problems and then they immediately deal with them.
• 49:29
  And it's kind of like wholesome to see, but it's also very.
• 49:34
  Turbo from Dude, Bro. Party massacre three.
• 49:36
  Like, oh, I did not know that you hated that.
• 49:38
  I would not have said that if I knew that you hated that.
• 49:40
  Yeah, why would I say that if I knew you hated hearing that?
• 49:43
  Yeah. OK, so now they are at school
• 49:47
  again and Eddie's in another fight.
• 49:50
  Yeah, this time he gets his ass kick though.
• 49:52
  Yeah, yeah. And then there, I think this is
• 49:54
  like meant to be like, they're like, oh, everybody's freaking
• 49:57
  out. Something weird's happening.
• 49:59
  It's just kind. Of feels like another Tuesday,
• 50:01
  though. It does, yeah.
• 50:02
  I've seen this show like the last week in this.
• 50:04
  Movie. Yeah.
• 50:04
  And then we see that same jock later in the locker room on
• 50:07
  benches he's not allowed to sit on for sure.
• 50:09
  Like I, you guys, these. I'm not.
• 50:12
  I am not joking. It is a literal 2 by 4.
• 50:14
  I I I don't know. I'm looking at one of those pull
• 50:18
  noodles in this room right now. Yes, we have one of those in
• 50:21
  here. I'm making a Mayflower crown for
• 50:25
  a 12 foot skeleton Patella Lugosi.
• 50:27
  Yeah. And I'm not even sure it's as
• 50:29
  wide as that right there. It it's like it's a it might be
• 50:34
  smaller than a balance beam like these are just taking UPS.
• 50:39
  This is this is the first high school.
• 50:42
  I think we may have found that their budget cuts went to the
• 50:45
  sports programs first. Yeah.
• 50:48
  You know what could be? Yeah.
• 50:52
  So anyway, while he is in the locker room, he hears a sound
• 50:56
  and he goes to investigate and then it just cuts to him being
• 50:59
  buried up to his neck in a field.
• 51:01
  He gets knocked out by the locker door.
• 51:03
  Yeah, so oh God. And this is the bowling boss.
• 51:06
  Scene. Yeah.
• 51:07
  So he wakes up buried up to his neck.
• 51:09
  And I really thought we were going to have the lawn mower
• 51:10
  thing, which a lot of people like to attribute to Sinister,
• 51:15
  and it happened way earlier than that.
• 51:17
  I can think of three things off the top of my head that I've
• 51:19
  seen the lawn mower thing in, and I thought that we were going
• 51:23
  to get a fourth here, but now instead we get a bow and Oh my
• 51:29
  God, that's way worse. I think almost because it it
• 51:34
  might be a thing, like we don't know that it was a single hit
• 51:37
  that took him out. It would have been, you know
• 51:40
  what I mean? There's no way he's like he's
• 51:42
  unconscious after that thing hits him right in the face.
• 51:44
  Like somewhere there's like a like an irreducive like cut of
• 51:49
  like him, his face just getting mashed in more and more and
• 51:52
  more. God man, it's it's gnarly did.
• 51:56
  You like my French? That was pretty good, actually.
• 51:59
  Yeah. The first one misses, he dodges,
• 52:03
  he's like, I beat you. And then another one, just like
• 52:05
  zooms right now. He probably would have fucked up
• 52:08
  his neck with that dodging even if he made it out alive.
• 52:10
  Like he's gonna have to go to like a chiropractor or something
• 52:13
  cuz he how how he yanked that neck to the side I.
• 52:16
  Don't think it's so much he dodged, just that the other guy
• 52:19
  missed. Yeah, it was me.
• 52:21
  It was me bowling in that first shot.
• 52:23
  Like you guys, every time I go bowling I will have like a
• 52:27
  beautiful shot straight down the lane and then it's like a foot
• 52:31
  from the pins. It just goes.
• 52:33
  And Travis can attest you've seen this happen to me multiple
• 52:36
  times. Magic.
• 52:37
  Yeah. Like it looks like it's going to
• 52:39
  hit for sure and then it just goes.
• 52:42
  So yeah. Anyway, he dies by a bowling
• 52:45
  ball and the the detectives arrived the next day.
• 52:51
  The body is covered, but because he's still buried, it's just his
• 52:56
  head covered in a little buddy sheet.
• 52:58
  And Meatloaf has his like, detective moment where he's
• 53:00
  like, screw a protocol, I'm bury him.
• 53:03
  He's just a kid, damn it. And he's like frustrated because
• 53:06
  he's a detective and he wants to solve the case and stop these
• 53:08
  kids from getting murdered. And then he goes and talks to
• 53:11
  Zelda Rubenstein and she goes, this is definitely the same guy.
• 53:13
  And Meatloaf was like, are you fucking kidding?
• 53:15
  The first guy used a survival knife and a samurai sword, and
• 53:18
  this guy used a bowling ball and she goes exactly, yeah.
• 53:22
  Her whole thing is like, whoever did this has to be really,
• 53:27
  really strong, which is a very important thing.
• 53:31
  Later in this movie, she's. Like checkmate, yeah.
• 53:38
  She's she's the best at her job and top of her field, for sure.
• 53:42
  I wanted the movie to go on a little bit longer, just so we
• 53:44
  could see a bunch more like ridiculous killings in her and
• 53:47
  justify how their first sure Ski is the same person.
• 53:51
  Just like after everybody dies. Like towards the end of the
• 53:54
  movie. Like, yeah, like, okay, Like,
• 53:55
  what happened here? Zelda, please tell us.
• 53:59
  So they arrest Eddie because he has no alibi from the night
• 54:02
  before and he was seen of fighting with both Jimbo and
• 54:06
  this other jock he. Just likes to fight.
• 54:09
  Yeah, he just likes to fight. So he gets arrested.
• 54:13
  Brett and Sam went and watched a foreign movie and then they're
• 54:16
  discussing it in the restaurant and talk more about Cody.
• 54:19
  And she's like, I'm proud that I chose to break up with him and
• 54:22
  be with you. And then she gets up to go to
• 54:25
  the bathroom and Desiree is apparently a server in this
• 54:28
  restaurant. And she is like, wow, Brett, I
• 54:31
  thought you were cool. I don't understand why you're
• 54:35
  with her. I cuz I guess she hates
• 54:37
  cheerleaders on principle or something.
• 54:39
  Or maybe the cheerleaders are mean to her.
• 54:40
  I don't know. We don't get enough of that back
• 54:42
  story to know why she hates them so much.
• 54:44
  I feel like it was probably cut for time somewhere.
• 54:46
  We don't. Get enough of her like there's
• 54:48
  nothing that ever set them up to be friends.
• 54:50
  That's what I'm saying. I feel like there's probably a
• 54:52
  scene that got cut somewhere that establishes why there's so
• 54:56
  much animosity to from her towards the cheerleaders and
• 54:59
  vice versa beyond. Just like the if it's the pom
• 55:04
  pom burning. Like she burned the pom pom, you
• 55:06
  know what I mean? Like.
• 55:07
  She had a right to be mad at you for.
• 55:09
  Doing that like so I I feel like something was cut and I just
• 55:12
  wish we had a little bit more reason to understand why she is
• 55:15
  so upset at Brett for being with with her when like, you know
• 55:20
  what I mean. Yeah, and yeah, it would be nice
• 55:23
  to have contacts here. Yeah.
• 55:24
  And then here's like, OK, so Brett drives Sam home.
• 55:30
  And he's like, I am worried I'm taking advantage of you.
• 55:33
  And she goes, well, do you think I'm taking advantage of you?
• 55:36
  And he goes, what? No.
• 55:37
  And she goes, yeah, you can't take advantage if you really
• 55:39
  like each other. And he's like, oh boy.
• 55:41
  Yeah, he. Feels more and more guilty.
• 55:44
  So then this scene is gonna make no sense.
• 55:49
  No, actually, Mr. Turner doesn't like Desiree either, because
• 55:51
  she's always like to class. Yeah, so Desiree walks home and
• 55:56
  she can sense that she's being chased.
• 55:57
  So she starts running, and then she's in the middle of a
• 55:59
  completely deserted St. and she gets hanged on a stop light.
• 56:03
  And I love this moment because she almost escapes, like she's
• 56:06
  pulling herself up the cable and then like.
• 56:10
  Walking away thinking that the job is.
• 56:11
  Done. Yeah, like, you know, walking
• 56:13
  away from the explosion, I'm a cool guy.
• 56:15
  And then turns around, sees her climbing.
• 56:17
  He's God damn it. So he goes and does a wrong turn
• 56:20
  4 and just Yanks her feet down. That's a good kill.
• 56:24
  It is. Yeah, I like that that.
• 56:26
  I want to hear Zelda Rubenstein explain this one does meatloaf
• 56:30
  well? She.
• 56:32
  Sparky, clearly this is the same guy.
• 56:35
  Can't you see? You know what I want the
• 56:39
  Criminal Minds episode of this where they try and make sense of
• 56:42
  all of these different means of killing.
• 56:44
  I want to hear the pseudo psychology that they come up
• 56:47
  with in the script to justify all of this.
• 56:49
  I want it. I I'd be curious to hear what
• 56:52
  they would come up with for sure I'm I am a little bit sad that
• 56:55
  we don't get her get her analysis on this kill here I.
• 56:59
  Know. So Eddie is released from jail.
• 57:06
  The mayor tells Sparky he's like, I want to call on the FBI
• 57:09
  and Sparky's like, please, no, give me two more weeks, I can
• 57:13
  definitely solve this. And he goes, you've got one
• 57:16
  week. Then a call comes in before
• 57:19
  Sparky has any time to do any further investigation.
• 57:22
  And it's a man who confessed to all three murders.
• 57:25
  So at school everybody's whispering and staring at Brett
• 57:27
  and Sam. We never get explanation for
• 57:29
  this, why this is happening beyond everybody just being an
• 57:33
  odd pairing. Yeah, they just, he's a nerd.
• 57:35
  She was the cool girl and everybody's like, whoa, what the
• 57:38
  fuck is happening here? Excessive amount of whispering
• 57:40
  there. This is like one of those that
• 57:42
  like your parent, like when you go to the gym and you're like,
• 57:45
  oh God, everybody's I'm gonna use the machine wrong and
• 57:48
  everybody's gonna laugh at me. But in reality, like 95% of the
• 57:51
  people there are like minding their own fucking business.
• 57:53
  They're. Checking themselves.
• 57:54
  Out. Yeah.
• 57:55
  Yeah. So yeah, Brett wants to tell her
• 58:01
  and how he's like, well, you've got to use romance.
• 58:05
  And then he goes, he's still in the bathroom and Brett leaves.
• 58:08
  And then I just wrote Poo Hand. I figured you might want to talk
• 58:11
  about this moment. Yeah, You were quite upset.
• 58:13
  It's one of the jocks and he. The one that kind of vaguely
• 58:17
  looks like Donald Faizon. And for a minute I was like, he
• 58:20
  likes to play teenagers and. Dude walks out, so he overhears
• 58:25
  the entire conversation, walks out of the stall fresh off of a
• 58:28
  poop, and he goes over there and he high fives.
• 58:32
  Now he claps him on the back, because Howie's still peeing.
• 58:36
  That's right. Yeah, Howie, still.
• 58:37
  He's not even. Yeah, he's still Dick in hands.
• 58:40
  And then we get Mr. Pooh hand comes out, doesn't wash his
• 58:44
  hands, and just slaps Howie on the back.
• 58:46
  And then he comes out of the back bathroom and then he's with
• 58:49
  Cody and the other jocks, and then he's just spreading the poo
• 58:51
  germs even further. Yeah, it it kind of upset me.
• 58:55
  I It's almost worse than cabin fever, honestly.
• 58:58
  You know the spread of the poo hands.
• 59:01
  So they found the bowling ball in the lake and he's getting
• 59:05
  ready to go do Sparky's getting ready to go do a press
• 59:08
  conference and the mayor's like. But did you make sure that the
• 59:11
  killer's fingers fit the bowling ball holes?
• 59:15
  To which I said what, what, what?
• 59:20
  And this gets you guys. This gets weirder because they
• 59:23
  go to the jail cell and the killer, the confessed murderer,
• 59:27
  is like, that's my bowling ball and they're like, okay.
• 59:30
  Well then if it's your bowling ball, you can fit your fingers
• 59:33
  in the holes and clearly these are you guys have seen a bowling
• 59:38
  ball. If you haven't seen a bowling
• 59:39
  ball, Google a picture of a bowling ball, all adult bowling
• 59:42
  ball. Like, unless you are a very,
• 59:44
  very large person with meaty hands, your fingers are going to
• 59:47
  go in there with room to spare and.
• 59:50
  Sometimes it's a tight fit. I made a great pun and.
• 59:54
  You didn't appreciate it? Man, that is pretty good.
• 59:58
  But, and you can clearly see in this bowling ball that that's
• 1:00:01
  the case. Yeah, it's a normal bowling.
• 1:00:03
  Ball and they show the guy and they like.
• 1:00:06
  You can see he's like. He's really, really.
• 1:00:08
  Thinking that it's not fitting in there.
• 1:00:10
  Yeah, he can't get it. Yeah, worth mentioning, this is
• 1:00:15
  the dude that cut Jimbo off before and also it's weird and
• 1:00:19
  never explained, but he knows the details of all of the deaths
• 1:00:23
  without them even explaining it to him.
• 1:00:25
  I feel like it was part of Mr. Turner's wish.
• 1:00:29
  I don't. Use But he used all of his
• 1:00:31
  wishes already. He can't wish for this guy to
• 1:00:32
  have done this shit. He might have told him, but we
• 1:00:36
  never get an explanation about what's happening.
• 1:00:38
  You know what? Now that you say that, yeah, he
• 1:00:41
  had three wishes and he told us well how 3 wishes are.
• 1:00:44
  Yeah, yeah. Now, I don't know what happened
• 1:00:46
  here. This is like a it's just kind of
• 1:00:48
  like a weird thing that happens that's never explained.
• 1:00:53
  Well, then they just give us a red herring.
• 1:00:55
  Then they don't even really put that into it.
• 1:00:57
  Unless it's another thing that got cut.
• 1:00:58
  Who knows, yeah. Yeah.
• 1:01:01
  So anyway, how he graciously lends Brett and Sam his parents
• 1:01:07
  cabin his. Ants Cabin.
• 1:01:09
  Oh, his ants cabin. Which is even weirder.
• 1:01:11
  Yeah, like just like. Yeah.
• 1:01:12
  No, bro, it's cool. It's cool.
• 1:01:13
  Yeah, you gotta let her down gently.
• 1:01:15
  So, like, that's the whole point, just to, like, break up
• 1:01:17
  with her. And he's like, yeah, you're a
• 1:01:18
  genius. We'll go to the cabin.
• 1:01:19
  It'll be romantic. And then I can break up with.
• 1:01:21
  Her. It's like the opposite of the
• 1:01:22
  strangers. Yeah, like, yeah, it is, yeah.
• 1:01:26
  So he starts explaining the totem to her.
• 1:01:29
  And at 1st, at first I kind of like this because she normally
• 1:01:34
  in a movie like this would be like magic's not real, but she's
• 1:01:36
  like, that's so cute you had a toe you wish to go to the dance.
• 1:01:40
  Yeah, it sounds like it would be sweet.
• 1:01:42
  And then he's like, so here's the thing.
• 1:01:44
  I liked you before, but now that I've gotten to know you, I
• 1:01:46
  thought he was gonna be like, I don't want to be with you.
• 1:01:48
  So we've got to cut this shit off.
• 1:01:50
  But instead, he's like, I love you.
• 1:01:52
  Yeah. And she is like, oh God.
• 1:01:59
  And so she runs upstairs and locks herself in a room.
• 1:02:02
  Meanwhile, Cody and some of his jock buddies have pulled up
• 1:02:05
  outside because maybe they're going to murder Brett.
• 1:02:07
  They're going. To fuck him up, At least I.
• 1:02:09
  Feel like they might, like, murder him.
• 1:02:12
  Maybe. I Cody's a little unhinged.
• 1:02:16
  I I feel like maybe that's where he's going to go.
• 1:02:19
  So Brett tries calling Howie, but then the power gets cut.
• 1:02:23
  One of the jocks finds the other one dead after they'd like split
• 1:02:27
  up, trying to look around. And then the cloaked person
• 1:02:31
  approaches And that Jock, this is Poohan Jock.
• 1:02:35
  He gets in the car, but it won't start in the killer's just like
• 1:02:38
  smashing in all of the windows first.
• 1:02:40
  And then he kills poo hands. So Cody attacks Brett.
• 1:02:47
  Brett manages to get away and he goes to look for Sam.
• 1:02:49
  And she was in the attic, which I apparently wrote as a tax.
• 1:02:54
  So I'm glad I remembered what what was happening.
• 1:02:57
  And she says that they need to leave.
• 1:02:59
  But then they hear Cody scream. So they go back in the attic and
• 1:03:03
  they're trying to, like, keep themselves safe from the killer.
• 1:03:05
  And the killer is like stabbing up into, like the ceiling slash
• 1:03:09
  floor of the attic. Yeah.
• 1:03:10
  Call that. And then he he talks and he's
• 1:03:12
  like, hey, Brett, come down here, we got to talk about this
• 1:03:15
  shit. Yeah, And so he goes downstairs
• 1:03:18
  and it's Mr. Turner. He bought it in Nepal for $100,
• 1:03:25
  which he thought was a good deal for 3 wishes.
• 1:03:27
  Can't really argue that if you know it's legit, Yes.
• 1:03:31
  So the first one he wished for was his wife to die and she died
• 1:03:36
  in a single car accident. And Brett goes, why didn't you
• 1:03:40
  just divorce her? It's like.
• 1:03:42
  I know it could have been easier, but that's not how I
• 1:03:44
  wanted to. Yeah, he was like, cuz I just.
• 1:03:47
  I didn't want to. Yeah, that's pretty much it.
• 1:03:50
  Calm down, Brett, like you're acting like I'm crazy here.
• 1:03:55
  Then he wished for to be for Fuck You money, which apparently
• 1:04:00
  is $100 million. Rich, I mean, yeah, yeah, that
• 1:04:03
  is fuck you, money, yeah. And then he said he became a
• 1:04:09
  teacher cuz he really wanted to make a difference.
• 1:04:11
  But then he became disillusioned over the years because he'd have
• 1:04:14
  problem students in class, and then he'd meet with the parents.
• 1:04:17
  And at first the parents would seem receptive, but then they'd
• 1:04:19
  be like, no, you're calling my child a problem.
• 1:04:21
  And he was just very like over it.
• 1:04:24
  And instead of retiring, he wished for great strength so he
• 1:04:28
  could kill the students he hated.
• 1:04:30
  So all these people were disrespecting me, so I just
• 1:04:33
  thought I'd get strong as hell. Yeah, like, what the fuck is
• 1:04:36
  that? What's the logic with that right
• 1:04:38
  there? Yeah, and he was like, well the
• 1:04:40
  totem can be used if it's really given.
• 1:04:42
  And I wanted to give you this power as my best student.
• 1:04:46
  I figured you would use it for good.
• 1:04:48
  But instead you used the 1st 2 wishes on the same bimbo.
• 1:04:53
  And Brett was like, wow, that's really kind of rude.
• 1:04:57
  And he tries to stop him because Mr. Turner says that, you know,
• 1:05:02
  Sam is the last one that he needed to kill.
• 1:05:06
  Amazing how it's just this small cluster of students that Mister
• 1:05:09
  Turner hates. Yeah, I know.
• 1:05:11
  It's interesting. I don't even know why he hates
• 1:05:14
  her. She's not really responsible for
• 1:05:15
  the shit that happened in class. It was Cody that was causing all
• 1:05:18
  that shit. Yeah, but I think she's trying.
• 1:05:20
  I think it's really funny because Brett tries to sneak up
• 1:05:23
  behind him to hit him, and when he does hit him, it doesn't
• 1:05:27
  affect him because dude, he just told you he wished to be super
• 1:05:30
  strong and you know that the bull's penis works like the.
• 1:05:33
  Strong doesn't necessarily make you super durable.
• 1:05:36
  I think you're still susceptible to being hit in the head.
• 1:05:39
  No, I think he had like Superman rules.
• 1:05:41
  I think that's what you. Got to be specific with this
• 1:05:44
  thing, he said. I would like great strength and
• 1:05:48
  he gets great strength, but he is affected by his stuff because
• 1:05:52
  Samantha does hit him in the head.
• 1:05:54
  When that's a part, yeah. He starts to climb up into a
• 1:05:57
  different access point for the attic and she, like, runs at him
• 1:06:01
  with a trunk and it knocks him down.
• 1:06:03
  They try to leave, but when they're like going through the
• 1:06:05
  front door, Cody's body is Michael Myers step onto the door
• 1:06:08
  or Jason Voorhees. Michael did it first.
• 1:06:12
  That's true. So Turner grabs Sam and ties her
• 1:06:20
  up, and he starts throwing axes at her while giving her a Viking
• 1:06:23
  history lesson. Which what a weird like, imagine
• 1:06:27
  if she had died, Like, wouldn't that be a weird way to die it?
• 1:06:30
  Would be a weird way to die. It's also.
• 1:06:31
  Being lectured and also terrorized.
• 1:06:34
  It's also a really weird that you're.
• 1:06:35
  Not Dying by John Kramer. I mean, essentially, yeah.
• 1:06:38
  It's also weird that Cody is just or not Cody.
• 1:06:41
  Brett is just left laying on the ground like he didn't think to
• 1:06:45
  take care of the other threat. Yeah.
• 1:06:47
  But he comes too, and he gets the totem and he makes his own
• 1:06:52
  wish. We don't know what it is yet,
• 1:06:53
  but he reaches up and he stops one of the axes that is flying
• 1:06:58
  that would kill her and grabs it.
• 1:07:00
  And he's like, yeah, I was going to wish to undo this shit, but I
• 1:07:05
  just realized I need to actually make myself stronger.
• 1:07:09
  And faster than tougher. And so Turner leaves and Brett
• 1:07:14
  follows him. And Mr. Turner has gotten to his
• 1:07:18
  car first, so he hits Brett with it, and then he starts
• 1:07:20
  strangling him. Except Sam comes up behind Mr.
• 1:07:22
  Turner and effects him. This is the thing like he is
• 1:07:25
  still better at him and we thought he lied about it.
• 1:07:29
  He was just using it as a bluff. But no.
• 1:07:32
  We are revealed later that he actually did make this wish, but
• 1:07:36
  he still gets his ass kicked and Samantha has to bail him out
• 1:07:39
  here. Yeah, Brett does end up doing
• 1:07:41
  the killing blow, which is taking the sword to the back of
• 1:07:44
  the neck, which I thought was an interesting thing.
• 1:07:47
  I like and I get it. He's like using the leverage,
• 1:07:48
  but I thought it was. You just don't see that type of
• 1:07:50
  a kill a lot. No, worm it.
• 1:07:51
  Was pretty well done. So they're sitting there and
• 1:07:57
  Brett said he was going to release her with the last wish,
• 1:07:59
  but he was like, I kind of needed to save us both.
• 1:08:03
  So I guess I'm super strong forever and I guess you're in
• 1:08:05
  love with me forever. I thought that that was so
• 1:08:08
  fucking weird that they had to make a scene to where they're
• 1:08:11
  like, but for real. I did make this wish I.
• 1:08:13
  Like it that she still has an ambiguous feeling about the
• 1:08:19
  situation, even though she's still supposed to be in love
• 1:08:22
  with him, so it's kind of interesting.
• 1:08:25
  I think it can be true that she can be in love with him, but
• 1:08:28
  she's still herself and she can recognize when something's
• 1:08:32
  fishy. So she's like, but you can give
• 1:08:36
  the bull penis now that you're done with your wishes.
• 1:08:40
  And then we cut to a ceremony honoring Brett as the town hero.
• 1:08:46
  Spikey gets no credit because he did nothing.
• 1:08:49
  He didn't even test the bowling ball finger holes, So fuck you,
• 1:08:53
  Sparky. Sam tells him that she has made
• 1:08:57
  her first wish and he's like, oh, OK And he goes and she's
• 1:09:02
  like, yeah, I'm taking you off school to travel.
• 1:09:04
  I go to Greece this weekend. He's like, OK, we'll have fun.
• 1:09:08
  And Brett's parents are like, calling him over.
• 1:09:10
  And Brett says, like, I know you're supposed to work in the
• 1:09:12
  showroom with me this summer and I'm kind of a hard ass and I'm
• 1:09:15
  stereotypical like be like me son type dad.
• 1:09:18
  But we decided that we needed to let you rest after all of the
• 1:09:23
  activity these past couple of weeks, and it's an open ticket.
• 1:09:28
  You go to Greece this Sunday. It's a world ticket.
• 1:09:31
  Is that a real thing? I don't.
• 1:09:33
  Or is that like a metaphor? Like here's like money.
• 1:09:35
  It's a world ticket, son. You can go anywhere you want.
• 1:09:38
  I have no clue. I don't know if that's a real
• 1:09:40
  thing or. Not, but he like, looks over at
• 1:09:42
  Samantha. He's like, he's so happy.
• 1:09:45
  Yeah so I guess I wonder though if she like cuz the parents are
• 1:09:49
  like this just came to us in a flash last night.
• 1:09:51
  So clearly like that was her wish or at least part of her
• 1:09:54
  wish. Like did she wish to not be in
• 1:09:56
  love with him? She.
• 1:09:57
  Wished Everybody makes their own choices.
• 1:10:01
  Did she say? That, Yeah, everybody.
• 1:10:03
  Cuz he's like, what was your wish?
• 1:10:04
  She was like, yeah, I made my wish.
• 1:10:07
  Everybody's making their own choices now.
• 1:10:10
  Now I thought she was just saying it like generally that
• 1:10:12
  everybody's like making their own choices.
• 1:10:14
  Yeah, but that's like her, OK? I think that is related to her
• 1:10:17
  wish because before it wasn't her choice.
• 1:10:18
  To love him. Except for mom and dad bumpers.
• 1:10:22
  They didn't make their own choice to.
• 1:10:24
  Maybe somebody was like, you need to make that boy work for
• 1:10:26
  you, or I will kill your entire family.
• 1:10:29
  What she didn't say is that she also made her second wish, which
• 1:10:31
  is to be even stronger, faster and tougher than Brett, which
• 1:10:33
  she was already, Yeah, but like, she threatened them and they're
• 1:10:37
  like, OK, we'll give him a world ticket, even though it's not a
• 1:10:41
  real. Thing.
• 1:10:42
  It would be interesting to know what her final wish was, but
• 1:10:45
  yeah, that's the end of the movie.
• 1:10:47
  It is the end of the movie. Yeah.
• 1:10:49
  I think 7 1/2 is still right for this.
• 1:10:51
  It's a fun little flick. It's nonsense, but it knows it's
• 1:10:54
  nonsense. It just it has fun.
• 1:10:58
  It's a flawed movie, but it's a fun movie.
• 1:11:01
  I'm keeping mine at 6 1/2. I liked it.
• 1:11:05
  Talking about it made me realize that they did have some missing
• 1:11:09
  pieces to the story, which I'm OK with.
• 1:11:13
  But you know, for me to be able to take it 100% seriously, like
• 1:11:16
  I I don't think that's kind of impossible.
• 1:11:18
  I can't take this movie serious. So you already talked about the
• 1:11:23
  stuff you would change. Yeah, I want him to be Steven
• 1:11:26
  Seagal. And also like, you know, like,
• 1:11:30
  what the fuck is going on with Desiree and Eddie?
• 1:11:32
  I guess, like, you made them out to be these important characters
• 1:11:35
  and they're really not. And then also with Eugene, the
• 1:11:40
  dude that killed, like, what the fuck happened?
• 1:11:42
  How did he know that? Yeah.
• 1:11:44
  You know, explain that shit a little bit better.
• 1:11:46
  Maybe. Yeah.
• 1:11:46
  Yeah. That I think, is important.
• 1:11:48
  That's something I didn't catch until you pointed it out.
• 1:11:53
  OK, all right. Do we have a dream sequel?
• 1:11:58
  OK, let's see. I want I want Sam to get done
• 1:12:07
  with the bull penis and to give it to Howie.
• 1:12:10
  What if, like, it's another like genitalia that's passed on,
• 1:12:14
  that's magical, like, you know, it doesn't have to be like a
• 1:12:17
  bull Dick. It'd be.
• 1:12:20
  I don't know. I I don't know.
• 1:12:23
  Yeah. I'm not even gonna suggest
• 1:12:25
  anything, OK? Yeah, but no.
• 1:12:30
  Let's just keep it with a Dick the bull Dick.
• 1:12:32
  Maybe Samantha. Do you think she would ship it
• 1:12:35
  off to somebody else? I want her to give it to Howie.
• 1:12:38
  I want AI want a Howie. Howie can be trusted.
• 1:12:41
  That's I want to see his growth from having the bull penis.
• 1:12:47
  OK, sure. Well, yeah, you know, Howie's a
• 1:12:50
  fun character. We can.
• 1:12:51
  We can do that. He just kind of fucks off at the
• 1:12:53
  end of the movie, doesn't he? Pretty much.
• 1:12:55
  He's not even really. He's just.
• 1:12:56
  Like, that's my best friend. And then that's the end for
• 1:12:59
  Howie. He gets the poo hand and then
• 1:13:01
  he's out of there. Pretty much don't come.
• 1:13:05
  So what's Scout's favorite part of this movie?
• 1:13:08
  I would say Scout's favorite part is whenever how he gets a
• 1:13:22
  hug from the counselor, 'cause she's secretly A cuddly little
• 1:13:26
  baby. No, Obviously Scout's favorite
• 1:13:29
  part is on the Killer pulls Desiree back down on the cable
• 1:13:33
  because Scout loves to grab things when they're hanging.
• 1:13:35
  You're right. She does.
• 1:13:37
  Yeah. OK, that's a good one.
• 1:13:38
  You're right. And finally, who did you, who
• 1:13:42
  did you relate to? I.
• 1:13:54
  Quickly, we're live. Yeah.
• 1:13:56
  Oh shit, we are live. OK, fuck it.
• 1:13:59
  I I'll relate to Howie. OK.
• 1:14:04
  I like to to do the little like messaging with friends after
• 1:14:07
  school that they were doing to each other.
• 1:14:09
  And we would also do like silly little shit like what they did
• 1:14:12
  with the little monkey war. Mm hmm.
• 1:14:16
  And I won't necessarily think that I could blend in with the
• 1:14:20
  other people, but out of my friends, I was one of the only
• 1:14:22
  ones that played at Sport, so didn't make me a jock, don't get
• 1:14:28
  me wrong. But there was that at least.
• 1:14:30
  OK. All right.
• 1:14:31
  What about you? I guess I probably related to.
• 1:14:39
  I think I probably related to Christy because I too would be
• 1:14:41
  pissed if like after a dance set I got all dressed up for and
• 1:14:44
  bought a nice dress for and everything.
• 1:14:46
  I got taken to a golf course and sprinkled on.
• 1:14:50
  That sounds like a completely don't be gross.
• 1:14:55
  I'm sorry. I mean it's just, yeah, OK,
• 1:14:57
  sure. Like actual sprinklers on the
• 1:14:59
  golf. Course, yeah, because that's
• 1:15:00
  literally what happened in the movie.
• 1:15:02
  I know it's just a joke. It's just a joke.
• 1:15:06
  OK. And finally, finally, titular
• 1:15:10
  question. Travis.
• 1:15:12
  To be or not to be? I am gonna say yes.
• 1:15:17
  I think that people need to watch this movie.
• 1:15:19
  I've never seen anybody talk about this movie before.
• 1:15:22
  So I would like for discussion of this movie to go around on
• 1:15:27
  the Internet, 'cause, you know, it's it's an interesting little
• 1:15:30
  movie. It's like a nice little time
• 1:15:31
  capsule film from like the early 2000s.
• 1:15:34
  And yeah, it's just a lot of fun.
• 1:15:37
  I agree. I have a very fun time with this
• 1:15:40
  movie and I would 100% watch it again.
• 1:15:42
  I would 100% buy the Scream Factory.
• 1:15:46
  Speaking of the Internet, do you want to hear what two random
• 1:15:48
  folks on IMDb user reviews think about this movie?
• 1:15:52
  Yeah, I'm very curious. OK, so this is a one out of 10
• 1:15:57
  and I want you to appreciate the username.
• 1:16:00
  OK, the old guy from Halloween 3.
• 1:16:05
  Tom Atkins No, I don't know No. Halloween three it would have
• 1:16:10
  been that's. Tom Atkins.
• 1:16:12
  He's not that old in that movie. He's like middle age.
• 1:16:14
  I think he's really talking about the Shamrock dude.
• 1:16:16
  Probably, yeah. Okay and Eric gets 3 wishes and
• 1:16:20
  he uses two of them to get a girl to like him.
• 1:16:23
  Is this Danny McBride? One wish was understandable.
• 1:16:27
  She's a gorgeous blonde, but he could have used his other wishes
• 1:16:30
  to end famine or for World Peace, or to give everybody in
• 1:16:33
  the world perfect health. But no, the nerd has to be
• 1:16:36
  self-centered and think small and only care about himself.
• 1:16:38
  Austin Pendleton, the world's weirdest actor, gets to ham it
• 1:16:41
  up as a crazy teacher and continues to teach even though
• 1:16:43
  he's rich. Or at least he used one wish
• 1:16:45
  smartly and wants to kill his students for some ridiculous
• 1:16:48
  reason. Having a guy who looks like
• 1:16:50
  Robin Gibb play the bad guy inspires more laughter than
• 1:16:53
  terror. At the end, the nerd remembers
• 1:16:55
  he has one more wish and could have used it to make the teacher
• 1:16:57
  die, but then we wouldn't have a long, drawn out, cliched horror
• 1:16:59
  movie ending. Yeah, he could.
• 1:17:02
  He could be a drop dead. No, that could be it.
• 1:17:04
  Yeah. I do like the point that he
• 1:17:08
  they're not very smart with their wishes.
• 1:17:09
  They No, they're not. There's so many cool things you
• 1:17:11
  could do with that. See, that's another cool thing
• 1:17:14
  about this movie is I was totally expecting it to be like
• 1:17:17
  a monkey's paw thing where there would be consequences to the
• 1:17:20
  wishes. But no, you just flat out get
• 1:17:21
  what you wish for. No.
• 1:17:22
  Dropouts, Yeah. OK And then this one.
• 1:17:26
  This is from 2006. OK, it's a 7 out of 10.
• 1:17:31
  This is a really cool slasher movie.
• 1:17:33
  The main character, Brett, gets bull's penis in the mail.
• 1:17:35
  Yes, a bull's penis. Attached to it is a note telling
• 1:17:38
  Brett he can make 3 wishes. He thinks it's a nasty joke and
• 1:17:40
  throws it into the trash. Later he decides he has nothing
• 1:17:43
  to lose and takes the bull's penis out of the trash and makes
• 1:17:45
  a wish that a popular cheerleader named Samantha will
• 1:17:48
  ask him to the spring dance. She dies and things go well.
• 1:17:50
  Once the dance is over, Samantha goes back to her boyfriend.
• 1:17:53
  Brett decides to make a second wish, asking for Samantha to be
• 1:17:55
  his girlfriend forever. This seems to be a dream come
• 1:17:58
  true for Brett until he gets to know Samantha and actually
• 1:18:00
  starts to feel guilty. There's a bigger issue at hand.
• 1:18:03
  There's a crazy madman slaughtering the rebels, jocks
• 1:18:05
  and the cheerleaders and Samantha's next on the list.
• 1:18:08
  I'm surprised this movie didn't come out in theaters.
• 1:18:10
  Alexandra Holden is pretty good as Samantha.
• 1:18:12
  She's been in a few Hollywood films like Sugar and Spice and
• 1:18:15
  The Hot Chick. She was also creepy and straight
• 1:18:17
  to video. Dead End Michael at Weston was
• 1:18:20
  in Cherry Falls. He's actually pretty cute as
• 1:18:22
  Geeky Smart Brett the Fam. This film has some great jump
• 1:18:25
  scares. Maybe not too much gore, but it
• 1:18:27
  has a nice pace which is lacking in some of the recent slasher
• 1:18:30
  films. Sarah Downey is an underrated
• 1:18:31
  actress. She plays one of the high school
• 1:18:33
  students. I hope to see more of her.
• 1:18:35
  So again, I'm scratching my head while this film went straight to
• 1:18:37
  video. When other weaker films like
• 1:18:38
  Stay Alive and Cry Wolf get a theater release, give this film
• 1:18:42
  a chance of you like a good slash or flick rated.
• 1:18:46
  RI agree with that. I'm shocked that this didn't
• 1:18:49
  make it to theaters. Is this kind of weird?
• 1:18:51
  Honestly. I mean, I don't appreciate the
• 1:18:53
  hate to stay alive and cry. Well, I.
• 1:18:55
  Know that those. Yeah, I do feel like it's those
• 1:18:58
  those. It's on par with them at least.
• 1:19:00
  I agree, Yeah, I think. It was a good time and I also
• 1:19:02
  liked him pointing out all of the other things these actors
• 1:19:05
  have been in, because they have been in a lot of things, so it's
• 1:19:08
  kind of nice bringing that up. It's a mystery.
• 1:19:10
  I'm curious to know the story about why this movie didn't make
• 1:19:13
  it. Yeah, yeah, it had all the
• 1:19:14
  material. All the.
• 1:19:16
  Makings. Yeah.
• 1:19:17
  Yeah. Well, all right.
• 1:19:20
  Is that it? I think that's it.
• 1:19:22
  OK, don't forget this Thursday is going to be Cabin Fever Two's
• 1:19:27
  Spring fever, so be sure to look out for that.
• 1:19:31
  In the meantime, you can find us on social media, we're on
• 1:19:34
  Instagram and threads at least. Favorite Scary Movie Podcast.
• 1:19:37
  We're on Twitter and Blueski at least Favpod.
• 1:19:39
  You can find us on our website What's your least favorite Scary
• 1:19:41
  movie.com? And you can e-mail us at least
• 1:19:43
  favorite scarymovie@gmail.com. We would also like to shout out
• 1:19:46
  our patrons who are Joe just taking a drink, Freakatron as is
• 1:19:52
  his name. I was just doing this myself.
• 1:19:54
  Amber, Michael for Zombie and Tyler, thank you guys so much
• 1:19:58
  for being our patrons. You guys do a lot for us.
• 1:20:01
  You guys are huge support. We really, really appreciate it.
• 1:20:05
  If you are unable to support us financially through Patreon,
• 1:20:08
  that's OK. You can do other things such as
• 1:20:10
  like rate review on whatever device that you're on and share
• 1:20:15
  us. Tell people about us.
• 1:20:18
  Word of mouth, big help whenever it comes to getting our name out
• 1:20:22
  there. So.
• 1:20:22
  Word of mouth and tell them the algorithm we're cool.
• 1:20:25
  That's all we ask for that. Does wonders for us.
• 1:20:28
  So we appreciate you guys for being here, doing all that you
• 1:20:31
  do. And we will see you guys on
• 1:20:33
  Thursday. You have a fever too.
• 1:20:36
  Yeah. Thursday.
• 1:20:36
  Yeah, yeah. So until then, bye.