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Sober Talk SA-Jason · Sober Talk SA

• 0:21
  Welcome to syllabus out. I'm Dennis and I have lived
• 0:23
  experience of alcohol. If you or anyone, you know is
• 0:27
  struggling without go. Please call Alcoholics Anonymous
• 0:31
  on 1,300 CC of double to double to or check out their website on
• 0:36
  are DOT org dot, are you? I'll just run through the
• 0:41
  Preamble of Alcoholics Anonymous.
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  Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who
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  share their experience strength and hope with each other then
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  both. So they come problems and help
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  others to recover from alcoholism.
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  The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop
• 0:58
  drinking. There are no Jews are faced with
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  a membership. We are self-supporting through
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  our own contributions is not allied with any sect in
• 1:06
  nomination politics organization order.
• 1:09
  Tushin does not wish to engage in any controversy.
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  Neither endorses that oppose any causes our primary purpose is
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  still Sovereign help. Other alcoholics achieve
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  sobriety. Hi, my name is Jason.
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  I'm an alcoholic. My drinking started in the late
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  teenage years. It was all pretty, pretty
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  normal. Just sort of social drinking at,
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  you know, at night, with with, with friends and then, you know,
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  later on, going out after work, with work friends, that sort of
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  thing going out. Tonight clubs and and bars and
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  that sort of stuff and and yeah and you know it just progressed
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  for me from there but looking back even in those earliest
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  years the way I drank was different to everybody else.
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  And and yeah my drinking I had to drink faster than anyone
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  else. It's and or I did anyway.
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  And and so you know rounds were really really hard for me when
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  if I was out with a group of from work and we were doing
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  rounds at the pub. That was so difficult for me
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  because to wait for, you know, like I would have completely
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  finished my beer and and these other guys would would be 3/4
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  full still, you know, And that sort of thing and, you know, for
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  me to sneak off to the bar and get another drink, it would look
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  like I'm skipping out on the round, you know.
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  And yeah, so those kind of things when you're someone who
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  just, you know, has this disease of alcoholism in them.
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  You just you go further than anyone else and fast.
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  Other than anyone else. And anyway my drinking
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  progressed to the stage where, you know, I would I would drink
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  every night after work and and then that progressed into, you
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  know, I'll have a drink on Friday lunchtime you know for
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  the last day of the working week with with a pub meal you know
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  and then and then that progressed into hot meals every
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  day, the working week and then that progressed into okay, while
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  getting these these hangovers on a, on a, on a Saturday and
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  Sunday morning, I'd better have a quick drink to, you know, just
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  so I feel a bit better on a on a Saturday morning, you know, and
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  then that progressed into getting pretty drunk watching
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  music videos on just On Saturday and Sunday mornings and and then
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  that progressed to well, you know, it's the last day, the
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  working week and I had a big pretty big 3000 by this stage.
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  I was going on and to nightclubs on Thursday nights pretty
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  regularly. And and that progress to I'll
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  just have a have a quick drink to get it, rid of the hangover
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  again, you know, and and yeah and then that progressed to
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  Every morning of the week, you know, when I started, I knew I
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  had a new in myself that I had a problem with alcohol, when I,
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  when I started to drink in the mornings, you know, because that
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  that's when I guess it hit me that there might be something
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  wrong here. And then, you know, having the
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  pains physical pains in my mind. Liver or the kidneys.
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  You know, I just saw how she, you know, that's, that's a bit
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  unusual, but I knew that having another drink would make it go
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  away. So, I just did that and, you
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  know, when I had those pains there was this fleeting thought
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  of yeah, what am I doing to my body?
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  But then I'd have another drink and I wouldn't wouldn't mind.
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  So anyway, what happened with me?
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  Is that I ended up having a really big long weekend on the
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  Queen's birthday long weekend of 2009.
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  I had a really big Friday night on on alcohol and and what we
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  say and in the rooms about how it's Anonymous is and some of
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  its cousins which is a bit of a euphemism referring to illicit
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  drugs. So yeah and but that's another
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  story. A for another 12-step.
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  Fellowships that I'm a member of called Narcotics Anonymous.
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  But anyway, so yeah, I had this big one Friday night, you know,
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  I was, I was drinking really heavily that Nile night and and
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  I come, I come home. And I remember after I had a bit
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  of a sleep on Saturday, wasn't wasn't too much, I Then I tried
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  to have a beer on Saturday night and and I remember, I just my
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  hand was just shaking uncontrollably.
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  And I just couldn't drink this beer because I was shaking too
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  much and I thought, oh, that's a bit bit weird.
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  And I thought well, okay. I'll go to bed and and CEO.
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  See how it is in the morning. And, you know, I woke up Sunday
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  morning pretty sick. And I thought, well, that's
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  okay. It's a long weekend, public
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  holiday Monday. I'll I'll just, you know, I'll
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  just ride this out and I'll be right for work on Tuesday.
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  Well, cheers day came. I was still sick, Wednesday
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  came. I was still really sick vomiting
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  and stuff like that and on this Wednesday.
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  My I was living alone at this stage and and I am my mother
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  came around to check up on me, and because she found out that I
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  had another day off work sick. And she took one.
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  Look at me and said, I think I need to take you to the
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  hospital. And I said, no, no this okay,
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  I'll I'll go to the GP, I'll just get something for it, you
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  know, and it'll be okay, it'll be all right.
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  She said no, I really think I should take you to the hospital
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  and and you know from what I was going into there is is what we
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  refer to in Alcoholics. Anonymous has justification and
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  denial. So yeah.
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  Anyway, she In the end, the hospital and I had three
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  seizures on the table and emergency that afternoon, I was
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  declared clinically dead and had to be brought back with the
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  paddles and and after that, they thought they well, they better,
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  they thought they'd better a bit me after that.
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  So I was in the ward and, and even after all that, I still
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  didn't, I still didn't think I had an inkling that, you know,
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  something was badly wrong, but I still didn't think there was a
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  problem, you know. And anyway, I had a doctor
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  standing over my bed. Telling me that, you know, I'm
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  not letting you leave this hospital until you're in some
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  kind of a 12-step program or rehab or something.
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  And and basically yeah through you know, through a bit of a bit
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  of convincing from my family which involved a trip to get
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  some ice cream because that's the sort of maturity level I had
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  back then. Anyway, so after bribing me with
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  ice cream, they got me to go ahead to this to this rehab
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  facility and have a meeting there.
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  With the staff from the rehab that they'd found and, and, you
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  know, I was I didn't recall any of this until years later, but
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  apparently, I was told I was quite belligerently drunk, you
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  know, a belligerent drunk at this meeting and you know, I
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  just I swore them you know, I didn't want to be there.
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  I question their credentials that sort of thing, but He just
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  stood over the desk and he just nodded and he said, yep, I think
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  I can help you. And anyway that I was admitted
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  into that rehab but I knew in myself that I had to be there
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  because it was only a couple of days later that I was down at
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  the bank, getting a bank check borrowing against my mortgage to
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  pay for the rehab. Scylla T.
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  This was a private rehab and it wasn't cheap.
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  So anyway, I did that. And yeah, the thing is I knew
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  for years. Before I before I went into that
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  rehab that I had a problem with alcohol, I knew it in myself.
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  I just couldn't speak it out loud to anyone else, you know,
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  when it when it come to, I remember I had a meeting.
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  Eating at work with some people from HR and stuff like this.
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  And and they, you know, I was quite drunk at that on that day.
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  And and you know, it was like 3:00 p.m. on a Wednesday
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  afternoon or something and and, and yai yai yai.
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  I remember them saying, you know, they wanted to put me on
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  some fixed hours. To try and control me a little
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  bit. And and you know they said are
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  like I said well i-i'll get in at 8 a.m. and I remember the
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  manager say time that no no she said I would prefer you you
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  getting at 9 a.m. and and at that moment in my my mind what I
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  wanted to say was you can't have me arrived at work at 9:00 a.m.
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  because I'll be drunk by 9 a.m. you know, because if I wake up
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  at 5:30 or 6:00 a.m. I'm just going to drink until
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  it's time to go and get the trade but you know I just those
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  words didn't come out. So that's what I mean when I say
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  that I knew I had a problem. I just didn't have the, you
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  know, I guess there was, there was a lot of fear there.
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  I had fear that by, by telling the rest of the world that I was
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  an alcoholic. That would mean that, you know,
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  as soon as I speak it out, my my party lifestyle that I'd be
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  living, would come to an abrupt end.
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  And, and my fear was how am I ever going to have fun again?
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  How am I ever gonna laugh again? You know, how am I supposed to
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  have a, have a laugh or or have fun without alcohol?
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  Well for anyone who's listening to this, who feels the same way.
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  Let me tell you, in the last 13 years that I've been in
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  Alcoholics Anonymous, I have never laughed so much or had so
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  much fun in my entire life, honestly.
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  So anyway, after the stint at the rehab, I as part of that
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  rehab program, they took us to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings
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  and products Anonymous meetings and I even went to a couple of
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  Overeaters and Gamblers Anonymous meetings because they
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  would go to the meetings that would reflect the addictions
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  that people were in there for at the time and and yeah.
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  So anyway, When I got out I I knew you know I first I just
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  went into the same pattern that the people from Alcoholics
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  Anonymous. Sorry from the people from the
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  rehab, the same Alcoholics Anonymous meetings that they
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  were going to but eventually I branched out and and went to
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  some Alcoholics Anonymous meetings independently and and
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  yeah it you know I It took me a long time before I could admit
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  that I was an alcoholic in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous,
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  you know. And as soon as I remember one
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  guy in particular, he told me that, you know, it took you so
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  long to admit that every time you say it is like I want to
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  clap and cheer. Now, you know, and Yeah, and I
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  had the same sort of feedback from, you know, one of the one
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  of the people I hurt or when I was at work during my drinking
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  time, it looked like he was going to manage me again.
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  And and so we had a meeting and and I I told my story, you know,
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  I said to the guy, look, I'm an alcoholic in Alcoholics
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  Anonymous. Thomas now and and you know I'm
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  working the 12 steps of recovery and as part of that I have to
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  make an amends for the wrongs that I've done and and that sort
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  of thing. And and and yeah, I could
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  pinpoint the exact guy and the exact time when our working
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  relationship changed because I looked at him straight in the
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  eye and I lied to him. I lied to him about my drinking
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  and that sort of stuff and on this particular day years later.
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  Once was, once I was sober, I looked at him again and and told
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  him and after I'd finished telling a bit of my story, he
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  said to me, well I don't know what to say after that, you
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  know, except that what took you so long?
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  You know, often, we think that. Well, people who have a problem
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  with alcohol, often think that they are able to hide it from
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  friends, family members, co-workers, all the rest of the
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  people. But the reality is, they know,
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  they know, they might not know the extent to you to which your
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  drink and they might not know how Heavily you drank and that
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  kind of thing. But they know that you that
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  you're arriving to work drunk or that you arriving to, you know,
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  functions drunk and family, gatherings and that sort of
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  thing and and yeah I had a lot of work to do when I come in
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  Narcotics Anonymous. I, you know, my my front my
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  entire family pretty much apart from one or two.
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  Two people had stopped talking to me and and yeah, I had a lot
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  of work to do on that front too gnarly.
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  Show them that I was serious about staying sober but also
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  that I had to I had a lot of work to do to rebuild that
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  trust, you know, trust is just one of those things that it can
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  take a lifetime to build up. About seconds to lose.
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  You know, you you can lose it in one one incident, you know.
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  But for me I lost it that trust over a lot.
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  Yeah, a lot more incidents. So, yeah.
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  Anyway, I had a lot of work to do and, and yeah, so it's been a
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  journey, you know, it's been a journey, but my life is so much
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  better now. You know, I wouldn't have The
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  job, I do. Now, if it wasn't for our color
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  synonymous, I had a career change after I got sober and and
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  I wouldn't have, I wouldn't be living where I am now.
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  I wouldn't have the friends I do now, with the exception of one
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  or two people, pretty much all the, all the people I knew.
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  And, and let's make this clear towards the end of my drinking.
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  I didn't have too many people who are friends.
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  You know, I didn't I didn't really haven't met many people
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  left at all. I remember I would get on the
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  train in the morning, to go to work and people would actively
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  move away from me because I would stink of alcohol.
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  But see, I didn't know that idelle, I was just oblivious to
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  the fact that people are moving away from me.
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  And I didn't know, I had no idea because you don't And and yes,
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  oh yeah my way my alcoholism was diagnosed as chronic as in a
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  chronic alcoholic and when I was in hospital, I was told that I
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  was so close to liver disease. It wasn't funny.
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  And and that, yeah, basically, what I've been told since is
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  that if I was to go and drink again, I would resume the damage
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  to my liver, basically, where it left off.
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  And that, that would mean cirrhosis of the liver for me
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  and death shortly thereafter. And and, you know, these days, I
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  have so much to live for. I'm engaged to be married to a
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  beautiful woman and I'll have a stepson in my life.
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  Well, I have him in my life now but I'm working on on, have it
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  as she lives overseas. I'm working The, you know,
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  immigrating them down to Australia and, and yeah, it's a
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  process. But, you know, it's a process
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  that I wouldn't have been able to go through, if I was still
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  drinking because when I was drinking, nobody wanted to know
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  me, but anyway. Yeah.
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  And you know, that's not to say that.
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  I don't have days where I just, I want to, you know, stay in
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  bed. All day or, you know, I just
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  want to ignore the rest of the world or, you know, it's not as
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  if I don't have bad days. You know, I do because I'm human
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  Alcoholics Anonymous. This this 12-step program of
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  recovery. And and by the way, I am, I
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  would refer to myself as a recovered alcoholic.
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  What I've recovered from is the is the The need for a drink, you
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  know, I have recovered from the craving of alcohol.
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  Yeah. And that, that craving was not
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  easy. That that's when you turn up
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  into the ruins of Alcoholics Anonymous, whether it's by your
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  own volition, or whether it's through a rehab.
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  It doesn't matter. You still have those those those
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  craving. That craving for alcohol.
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  You still have those moments when you when you really want to
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  drink but you know, you can't all that, you shouldn't or
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  whatever it is and and, you know, yeah, so yeah, it's been a
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  long time since I had any serious thought of picking up a
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  drink. It's been many, many years.
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  And, and for that, I am very, very grateful eternally
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  grateful, And you know, for people listening to this, I know
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  that, you know, you may look at the 12 steps of recovery that
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  I'm talking about and you may see the word god mentioned in
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  there a lot. Let me tell you, this is not a
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  religious thing. It's God in the as mentioned in
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  our program, is simply means a higher power of your own
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  understanding. That is a power greater than
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  yourself. And at that, can mean anything,
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  you know, for some people that's nature for some people.
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  It's, it's, it's actually the other people in the rooms of our
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  colleagues in terms of self. That's what helps a lot of
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  people. When they first come in, you
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  know, my, my, my higher power is the meeting because we, if I
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  didn't go there, I wouldn't be able to stay sober.
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  You know, that's what helped me along for a long time and I
• 24:09
  couldn't actually use the word god.
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  Talking about, you know, that in my shares, that Alcoholics
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  Anonymous, or anything like that.
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  For a long time for many years, until I, until I really came
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  became in touch with a power greater than myself.
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  Then I then I could use it. And yeah, this thing it really
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  does work. It's worth doing because you're
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  worth it. You know, I've suffered Heard
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  from depression and I've suffered from years of isolation
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  and loneliness. You know, when I was drinking
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  that isolation and loneliness, I, you know, I had no idea that
• 24:59
  it was because of alcohol. Yeah, I just didn't didn't know.
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  That alcohol could have been causing the problem.
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  You know, that the way that people who are alcoholics
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  normally think is that everything else?
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  Is going to cause the problem that no, not the alcohol.
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  You know, the alcohol is, there is our best friend and, and
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  yeah. So, anyway, it's, you know, like
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  I was saying with the exception of one or two people, all the
• 25:32
  friends I have now connected with Alcoholics Anonymous in
• 25:35
  some way or shape, or form. And, and it's, it's, it's just
• 25:43
  Say it's a great life. You know I've been traveling all
• 25:48
  over Australia and overseas to do this this thing and and yeah
• 25:56
  well it's so we have we have camps Tagalongs you know
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  roundups all sorts of events all over Australia that people can
• 26:09
  go on and be part of something. And and for me I just I didn't
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  feel part of something until I came to our colleague Samaras
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  and end. Till I really became sober, got
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  a sponsor started working, the 12 steps, you know, and doing
• 26:31
  the other suggested things that are suggested for someone to
• 26:35
  stay sober. So yeah that's my story.
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  Thanks for listening. And and yeah, maybe I'll I'll
• 26:46
  see one of you listening in the in the rooms of Alcoholics
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  Anonymous sometime soon. We have local meetings for the
• 26:57
  full week in the local area. Monday has Golem meeting at
• 27:01
  8:00, Tuesday, is Elizabeth East at 8 o'clock.
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  Wednesday is Elizabeth East at 8 o'clock.
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  Thursday is to Wells at 8:00 and Fridays Salisbury at 8:00.
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  There's a meeting at Avalon Park at 12:00 and on Sunday, there's
• 27:19
  a maintenance Salisbury at 7:00 and many of the meetings in the
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  area, For details of your local Maintenance.
• 27:28
  Please for on Saturday night under a double.
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  So double to double to. And once again, if anyone, you
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  know is struggling with alcohol issues, police call Alcoholics
• 27:38
  Anonymous on 1300 double to double so double.
• 27:42
  So the website is in South Australia, dot org dot, are you