Latest / Good Morning From The Chicken Coop! / Season 2 - Episode 309 - Who’s holiday is it?

Transcript

Season 2 - Episode 309 - Who’s holiday is it? · Good Morning From The Chicken Coop!

• 0:01
  Welcome to the Good Morning From the Chicken Coop Podcast with
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  Kim Johnson, your creative strategist and mastermind set
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  coach. Filled with inspiration,
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  distinctions, perspectives, and possibilities, we help you to
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  cultivate a mindset that leads you to create the best version
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  of yourself you could ever imagine.
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  Join Kim every morning from one of her favorite happy places,
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  her chicken coop along with all her chickens.
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  Hey, everybody, good morning from the chicken coop.
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  So let's talk about the fact that the holidays don't always
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  bring out the best in people. I think it's very interesting
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  how we get close to the holidays.
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  We hit that beginning of November mark and then all of a
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  sudden everybody starts to make their holiday plans or starts
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  thinking about them or starts pushing their agendas on people
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  and often being part of. That a family is very
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  complicated. Not often.
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  Always being part of a family is very complicated.
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  Sometimes we want to believe that our family has our best
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  interest at heart, and sometimes they do, and sometimes they have
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  their own best interest at heart, just like we do.
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  Sometimes we do things and it's just for our own best interest.
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  Let's be honest about it and let's not make big stories about
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  it. It's just true.
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  That's the way it is. So when you start to.
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  Think about how the holiday effects people and how things
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  all of a sudden start to show up with people.
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  There's this elevated sense of importance that people might
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  have about themselves. And also saying, hey, well
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  you're going to do it my way because my way is the right way
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  or my way is the only way. And this is where it gets
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  disturbing for people and. It happens across the board.
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  I've had it happen in my own life.
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  I've had it happen with my extended family.
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  I have had it happen a lot. And part of the reason that that
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  is the case is because we don't put up this, this conversation
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  early enough in the year. So we don't quote, UN quote,
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  disappoint people or we just care too much.
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  Care more about their feelings than our own feelings because
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  oh, you know, just suck it up for the day.
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  Just go. They won't be here forever.
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  There's always a story that goes around it.
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  But the challenge you have is the sacrifice you make of
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  yourself. Because think about it this way.
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  Typically we have certain days of the year that are quote UN
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  quote the the the days we designate as the holiday, the
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  important days. And then we make all the
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  sacrifices around those to make other people happy than
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  ourselves. And that highly is disturbing
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  when you think about it that way and you say, well wait a second,
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  you mean right? If if it's a a Hanukkah,
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  Christmas, Kwanzaa, whatever the holiday you're you're.
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  Celebrating with your family and you're and you're doing all the
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  sacrificing for someone else and you're not focused on what's
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  best for you and your family, then how is that going to work?
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  How is that going to work for you?
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  And this happens a lot, especially when you have
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  children that are older and they're at the point where
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  they're young adults now and they're in their 20s and they're
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  they're subjected to, well, of course they want to go to, you
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  know, their families things and they want to go to the their.
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  Significant others family things.
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  Or maybe they have a friend's Thanksgiving and they want to do
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  that instead because it's a bunch of people that have
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  decided they want to be together for the holiday and there's all
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  kinds of ways to find a path to being offended.
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  And if we start letting people push us around and pressure us
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  into things that we know we don't want to do.
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  We are sacrificing ourselves every single day, little by
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  little, bit by bit, and especially leading up to it
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  because it's scary. It's it's when you start
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  thinking about it like, oh God, I'm going to have to go.
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  It's going to be terrible. I'm going to be in there.
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  It's going to be so hard. And if you're making all these
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  sacrifices, knowing there are people that are toxic, that are
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  there, it becomes even worse because now you're spending days
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  ahead of time anticipating how much it's going to suck.
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  Then you get there and you have to deal with how much it sucks.
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  And then you leave and you feel completely depleted.
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  You don't feel rejuvenated by the holidays.
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  You know, if there's one thing that I can say with conviction
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  for myself, I use my holidays and my, my, even my weekends as
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  time where they are sacred to me.
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  I have to use them to replenish myself, feel good focus, and
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  create these memories that I know.
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  I mean, I have very special memories.
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  From when I was a child and holidays and I'll tell you
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  those, I cherish those and I want to create those with my
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  family as well and I think it's super important, super important
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  that we. Recognize we we don't sacrifice.
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  Now I will be first one to you know, admit my my parents always
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  had an issue around Thanksgiving because my father loved was his
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  favorite holiday and he wanted to have it with us.
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  And he did not want to have it with my mother's family.
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  And my mother's family would always say, well we want you and
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  Kim to come. But they didn't want my father
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  to come because they didn't like him.
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  So it was a it was a thing. And my mother, you know, always
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  felt torn and it was. It was something I was very
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  unaware of until I was older. But you know, as I figured it
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  out, I was really proud of my dad for putting his foot down
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  and saying, no, we're going to have a good day together.
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  And that's what we always did. And I felt bad that my mother
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  felt torn between her family and my dad, but I respected her
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  choice. So think about how much you're
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  willing to sacrifice in this. Make a decision and be.
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  Be really careful with trading away too much of yourself in the
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  process because I promise you, you won't be happy long term and
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  you're going to look back and say, why did I do that?
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  So think this through, figure out what has to happen for you
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  and your family, the people you choose to be with to be happy
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  and stick to that. OK, my friends, I hope you have
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  a blessed day and I'll see you tomorrow.
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  Bye.