Latest / Uncluttered and Unfiltered: The Podcast For Women Over 50 / YES, YOU CAN EMBRACE CHANGE IN MIDLIFE

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YES, YOU CAN EMBRACE CHANGE IN MIDLIFE · Uncluttered and Unfiltered: The Podcast For Women Over 50

• 1:03
  Welcome to Uncluttered and Unfiltered, the podcast urging
• 1:07
  you to let it go and don't look back, with nationally acclaimed
• 1:11
  professional organizer Christine Stone and self-proclaimed Hot
• 1:16
  Damn Mess radio and TV personality Eden Kendall.
• 1:21
  Welcome everybody to Uncluttered and Unfiltered, the podcast for
• 1:25
  women over 50 with me, Eden and Christine, who is a professional
• 1:29
  organizer and the only one of us.
• 1:31
  It is organized honestly by nature, right?
• 1:34
  I'm getting. There, you're getting there.
• 1:36
  Give yourself a little bit of credit.
• 1:37
  OK, I will do. OK.
• 1:39
  So we're really happy to have you.
• 1:40
  Some of you are newer to our podcast.
• 1:43
  We basically I've been around for.
• 1:45
  I want to say it's been 2. And a half years.
• 1:48
  We took a couple of weeks off at the holiday time and now we're
• 1:52
  back and one of us has made a major life change since then and
• 1:58
  it's me Spoiler alerted to me. I went from being a radio host
• 2:04
  to being a TV host and there's a whole story behind that on how
• 2:08
  I've been in radio for 30 years and I was Co hosting ATV show
• 2:13
  for about 7 years and then I stopped and I went back to just
• 2:16
  radio and then we start our podcast.
• 2:17
  OK, that's a lot. What you really need to take
• 2:20
  away from this is this is kind of a big change to be making.
• 2:23
  Yes I agree, I think any change later in life I I find it
• 2:30
  fascinating and I admire you so much for making a big change and
• 2:35
  you've never looked better. Thank.
• 2:37
  You for saying that I've been putting a lot of effort in,
• 2:39
  which is something that kind of started with our podcast and
• 2:43
  that because even before, even when I was hosting on this TV
• 2:48
  show before I was coming straight from the radio station.
• 2:51
  I kind of feel like I'm a radio person that expects much from me
• 2:54
  now because I'm solely my employment is solely doing this
• 2:59
  television show. I'm going to sleep with leaving
• 3:03
  curlers. I'm putting all my makeup on,
• 3:05
  I'm getting dressed up, I'm renting clothes.
• 3:08
  I'm trying really hard, but like you've been saying from the
• 3:12
  beginning, it's made me feel so better every day.
• 3:16
  Whether I'm at the gas station or the drugstore, I feel great.
• 3:20
  Well, and I think people minimize just getting up out of
• 3:23
  bed and really, even if it's a tiny like tinted moisturizer and
• 3:28
  some mascara and throwing on an outfit that makes you feel good,
• 3:33
  it just, it really does give you a little bit of self esteem and
• 3:39
  feeling good about yourself. Just getting a little bit out
• 3:42
  of, you know, the sweatpants and, you know, hair up in a
• 3:46
  ponytail or a bun, like, you know what I mean?
• 3:49
  What do you even when I change out of like right now I'm
• 3:51
  wearing this leather dress and I've got like all my makeup and
• 3:55
  hair done. Even when I go change into
• 3:57
  something more comfortable because I've made a little bit
• 3:59
  of effort, I still feel were put together in my sweatpants and my
• 4:04
  cute T-shirt or what have you. So it is like you've been saying
• 4:07
  all along, I'd really feel it, I really do.
• 4:11
  There's something to be said for picking out your clothes.
• 4:14
  In the morning. As opposed to rolling out of bed
• 4:16
  and wearing pajamas and a sweatshirt to your job, which
• 4:19
  most people can't do unless they work from.
• 4:20
  Home right? When I was doing it.
• 4:22
  Right, because you were in radio and no one could see anything.
• 4:25
  So I think also it forced you into a place of I need to get AI
• 4:31
  need to, Stella needs to get her groove back.
• 4:36
  Yeah. And so you, you got new shoes
• 4:39
  and new accessories and really focused on how you could change
• 4:44
  your wardrobe for the lifestyle you have now, which is what you
• 4:47
  guys always hear me preaching about.
• 4:50
  And I love it. Now let's talk about how when
• 4:53
  you talk about the lifestyle you have now, that really matters
• 4:58
  because in our closets, we keep clothes, usually most people for
• 5:03
  the lifestyle, the lifestyle we want to have or used to have
• 5:07
  instead of what we're living in day in, day out.
• 5:10
  Right. Exactly.
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  People will have sequin dresses from weddings from 10 years ago
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  and they don't want to get rid of them, but they're never
• 5:19
  wearing that dress again. I mean, never because it
• 5:23
  represents a part of their life that they've moved on from.
• 5:26
  So people don't think there can be emotional clutter in a
• 5:29
  closet. But for women, there definitely
• 5:32
  can be. Whether it's a miniskirt that
• 5:35
  you used to wear, but now you don't like your legs, it's it's
• 5:38
  a used to be and you have to get those items out of your closet
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  because every time you open your closet door or walk in your
• 5:46
  closet, it just reminds you of something that doesn't bring you
• 5:50
  joy or make you happy. I'm so glad you said legs,
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  because I had a really, really burning question this weekend.
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  One of the things I'm trying to do, a la Christine Stone, is
• 6:02
  create a wardrobe where I have everything I need to wear
• 6:06
  whatever I want. In other words, the right shoes
• 6:09
  for every dress. Right.
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  Or every length of pants or how many times have we gotten
• 6:15
  dressed and like, well, I can't wear this.
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  I don't have the right shoes. So it's trying to get all the
• 6:18
  right accessories together. And I found myself asking
• 6:21
  because it is so cold out right now, even in Florida it's.
• 6:25
  Freezing. Do women still wear pantyhose?
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  And I'm not talking about opaque black tights, which is a
• 6:30
  definite look, But I didn't. No.
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  I really wasn't sure because I remember when that used to be,
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  believe it or not, a dress code requirement.
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  I was a flight attendant. Why you if you had to have
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  pantyhose or you got a demerit like they had a strike against
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  you. So I wore pantyhose all the time
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  and it drove me nuts because they were itchy and hot and
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  they'd always get a run in them and you'd have to always have a
• 6:56
  spare in your bag because you weren't allowed to have any run.
• 7:00
  And then you have to find the perfect color easier than they.
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  Do. Now, Oh yeah, wait, they're not
• 7:05
  what they are now. This is like 84.
• 7:08
  So hangnail. You have to buy.
• 7:10
  New exactly nail. Polish and.
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  Put Yep, Yep, exactly. So I if you're going to ask me,
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  are they if I still think for a woman over 50, they are in style
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  now, like I'm looking at you. That matches your skin
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  impeccably. I didn't even know you had any.
• 7:28
  He's on target. I can't believe.
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  They're I think they're honey beige, which I have to remember
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  now. Is my color.
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  Because I'm looking at, we have a monitor in here because this
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  big change comes with a brand new.
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  Set yes. Because the very generous folks
• 7:43
  at my new Employer News for Jax in Jacksonville, FL have invited
• 7:47
  us to record here. Yes, so, so you.
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  Which I love. We're seeing ourselves on this
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  huge monitor which we've never been.
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  Able to do before. I'm looking at my legs, so I
• 7:56
  yeah, I didn't nail it. On I mean, honestly, the color
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  is unbelievable and I follow Christie Brinkley on Instagram
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  and she will talk about in magazine articles, one of the
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  things she always wears are a certain type of pantyhose
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  because they make her legs look natural but look great and she
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  has great legs. So yes, I do.
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  I think if you are a woman over 50 and you have an event to go
• 8:25
  to and you have to wear something that comes above the
• 8:28
  knee or whatever, wearing a pair of pantyhose that match your
• 8:31
  identical color, what's wrong with that?
• 8:34
  I noticed that. When I was shopping, there were
• 8:35
  fishnets and. All different.
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  I thought, Mike, you know, we'll see how we'll see how trendy I
• 8:43
  want to get right. I did spend some time online
• 8:45
  trying to find out, but I the other thing that's really big
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  and you guys that live in the northern states probably are
• 8:50
  much more familiar with are these fake pantyhose that look
• 8:53
  like they're sheer, but they're really fleece lined.
• 8:56
  Oh, really? Yeah, Floridians would never
• 8:59
  wear that. So if you live somewhere cold,
• 9:01
  you can wear they look like almost like they're black sheer.
• 9:04
  Oh wow, but. They're fleece lined and I
• 9:06
  thought, well I get cold so easily here, maybe I will look
• 9:09
  into those at some point. But.
• 9:11
  Well, I think it all depends where you live too, because
• 9:13
  people in Florida, they are happy like pantyhose may be out.
• 9:18
  I mean, they may wear them, you know, to a funeral or religious
• 9:21
  event, whatever, but they're not wearing them on a daily basis
• 9:24
  because it's so hot and humid here.
• 9:27
  So I think it just all depends on your career, where you're
• 9:30
  going, what you're doing, but you're dead on.
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  That's all I'm going to say with that color dead on.
• 9:35
  I want to share with you some of the reaction I got when the news
• 9:40
  hit here locally that I was coming back to TV because I
• 9:43
  thought that you would enjoy this.
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  First of all, this is a compliment I received and I
• 9:49
  really I really liked this even though it didn't didn't sound
• 9:54
  right off the bat. Like.
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  That I don't know what your situation was or is, but for ATV
• 9:59
  station to hire anybody these days that over 30 seems unusual.
• 10:04
  You're an anomaly in a good way. So that was meant as a
• 10:06
  compliment. He was saying this is actually a
• 10:08
  radio friend of mine, like an old.
• 10:10
  Radio. Saying it's hard to imagine that
• 10:14
  somebody who's been through years and years and years and
• 10:17
  our profession is able to have a new fresh start, a new career.
• 10:20
  Right. It doesn't.
• 10:22
  Happen all the time. No it doesn't.
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  So it's very exciting. I I appreciate that every single
• 10:27
  day. Yeah.
• 10:28
  If you're a regular listener to this podcast, you know that I,
• 10:31
  Eden, just went back into a career situation where I have to
• 10:34
  actually get dressed and be seen in public.
• 10:37
  Well, it's not just public, it's TV.
• 10:39
  Well, that is true, but even if it weren't for TV, I'd still be
• 10:42
  starting from Ground Zero because my the style has
• 10:45
  changed, the trends have changed.
• 12:24
  And that many people have said that kind of thing to me, like,
• 12:26
  wow, look at you getting hired. Yeah.
• 12:29
  Well, and also see, I guess wait till you turn into your 60s in
• 12:34
  that decade because I still think you're young.
• 12:37
  So I'm it's really all relative if you ask me, because I
• 12:42
  honestly, I look at you and I don't see you as oh gosh, they
• 12:46
  hired someone over, you know, yeah, I guess it's all, all how
• 12:49
  you look at it, but I think it's great.
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  I think, oh, I, I I really do. I'm so happy for you you.
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  Have no idea the the the trolls did come out in full force.
• 13:01
  So we had lots of little when the when the TV station actually
• 13:05
  broke the news. That's where people really
• 13:07
  because they weren't thinking like in terms of it wasn't my
• 13:10
  page, it wasn't my announcement. So there were a lot of like, Oh
• 13:12
  no, or worst voice in radio is 1.
• 13:16
  I got oh, she's annoying. You know, you get all of those
• 13:20
  trolls that come out and as much as I wanted to employ the mill
• 13:24
  Robbins let them technique. It's hard to not feel every
• 13:28
  criticism. It really is hard.
• 13:30
  You try, you know better, but you still feel the pain when
• 13:35
  somebody comes at you with something so negative.
• 13:38
  I think you, this is just me, I you should turn the comments off
• 13:42
  because to me, even reading that puts bad energy in your head.
• 13:47
  Even though you say like people say, well, it doesn't bother me.
• 13:50
  I just ignore them. I just feel like, and when
• 13:54
  someone says something mean, even though you're like, well,
• 13:57
  that's their problem and they're probably like they don't have,
• 14:00
  you know, you start making excuses on why they're it's just
• 14:05
  turn the comments off. It's noise.
• 14:07
  It's noise and it's not. I mean, like I said, whether
• 14:11
  it's TikTok, Instagram, I mean, even on YouTube, you get really
• 14:17
  mean comments. Our meanest comments are on our
• 14:19
  YouTube. Channel you're like, really?
• 14:22
  I mean, so just turning them off.
• 14:24
  One thing I I don't want to ever turn off is your.
• 14:27
  Comments. On our ladies only page.
• 14:29
  So we have a group on Facebook. If you've not joined it yet,
• 14:32
  please do. It's the uncluttered and
• 14:33
  unfiltered ladies only group. It's it's a private group, but
• 14:36
  when we're very open to anyone who wants to join it.
• 14:39
  If you're a woman over 50, come on in.
• 14:41
  We asked when was the last time you made a big change?
• 14:44
  And please tell us about it. So Angela sold her preschool in
• 14:47
  2023 to take care of her first grandson.
• 14:51
  And that's a big change, though. Going to work every day, seeing
• 14:54
  other other adults, seeing the parents of all the kids, seeing
• 14:58
  all the kids. And to take care of your
• 15:00
  grandson, that's a lot of work. I mean a lot of work.
• 15:04
  So I admire that. Leanne said that moving away
• 15:07
  from Florida to start a new life.
• 15:10
  Suzanne also moving out of Pennsylvania to Florida to start
• 15:14
  a new life. A lot of this had to do with
• 15:17
  people moving locations. Sometimes to get a fresh start,
• 15:19
  you really have to do that. Your mom moved late in life.
• 15:24
  Yes, She lived in Miami for 45 years and had to move to where I
• 15:28
  was because she was having some health issues and I was really
• 15:32
  worried about it. I mean, you live someplace and
• 15:34
  have friends for that long. You, I mean, but she really has
• 15:39
  loved living here. It's been over 10 years now, but
• 15:43
  she's really made a life for herself.
• 15:45
  And I was telling you I was, I speak a lot for my other
• 15:50
  business, neatly designed. And I was doing a speaking
• 15:53
  engagement afterwards. I love talking to everybody.
• 15:56
  And a woman came up to me and we were talking and she was telling
• 16:00
  me. In August she got a divorce
• 16:02
  after 18 years of marriage and moved to where we are into an
• 16:08
  apartment and it was her choice and she's 80 years old.
• 16:14
  She's 80 years old. She's 80 years old and I was
• 16:17
  fascinated by this story. Wait, I'm sorry she's. 8080
• 16:21
  years old. And she got a divorce.
• 16:22
  And moved to a whole different state OK with nothing she let
• 16:27
  him have everything she. Just wanted to get.
• 16:29
  That she wanted to get away. And I honestly, at 80 years old
• 16:34
  to make that change. I, I admire people who can make
• 16:38
  changes that big at that age because usually people just suck
• 16:42
  it up and stay where they are and be miserable.
• 16:45
  You know what I mean? So I think a lot of people are
• 16:48
  making changes in their careers late in life, moving, like you
• 16:52
  said, to different locations, and it's scary.
• 16:56
  It's really scary. But once you get into a routine,
• 17:00
  I always feel like you forget how scary it was.
• 17:03
  It's just you have to get to a place where you're back into a
• 17:08
  new routine. You might need that friend that
• 17:10
  pushes you. Yep.
• 17:11
  So a little behind the scenes, we were together when I knew
• 17:15
  that this change for me was coming.
• 17:17
  And you took one look at me and you're like, do it, do it.
• 17:20
  You have to do it. You have to do it and you might
• 17:24
  need your. People.
• 17:25
  You know, so if, if we're your people, we're happy to be those
• 17:29
  people. If you have a concern, if you
• 17:31
  want to share with us something that you have looming in your
• 17:34
  future that could potentially mean big change and you want to
• 17:37
  share it in our group, we we would not mind that at all.
• 17:40
  We've seen people come up with questions and get 40 responses
• 17:44
  in the first day. Well, also with change, if you
• 17:49
  don't do it, you'll always wonder what life would have been
• 17:52
  like if you would have done it. And a lot of people are like, I
• 17:55
  have no regret in my life. I I don't buy that for me.
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  I think everybody has something or you know, something in their
• 18:03
  life they wish they could do over and by taking advantage
• 18:07
  when someone offers you something, try it.
• 18:10
  If you don't like it, If it doesn't work in your life, then
• 18:13
  don't do it anymore. But to not ever try it, I just
• 18:18
  feel like people might always wonder.
• 18:21
  What that reminded me of too, when remember when Doctor Tracy
• 18:25
  Holloway was on her podcast and she wrote that book Think Like a
• 18:28
  Girl, And she said, if you have a big decision to make, put your
• 18:31
  hand in a bowl of ice water for I can't, I cannot remember.
• 18:35
  We'll have to go back through and see how long, but I want to
• 18:37
  say 1530 seconds and say out loud what the decision is you're
• 18:41
  trying to make because what it does is it turns off all of the
• 18:44
  noise. I guess I may be getting that
• 18:46
  wrong, but it had something to do with shocking yourself, kind
• 18:50
  of like when you call it in the air, heads or tails, and they
• 18:52
  say, well, what did you hope for in that moment?
• 18:55
  So making change can be scary when you overthink it.
• 18:58
  As one point, yeah, overthinking it.
• 19:01
  But I think as you get older, you don't overthink as much.
• 19:05
  You kind of just say, is this going to work for me and my
• 19:08
  lifestyle, my age? You do take age into
• 19:11
  consideration, I think, when you're making decisions because
• 19:15
  you may not have the stamina for a certain decision you're
• 19:18
  making. And so although you want to do
• 19:21
  something, are you physically able or emotionally able at a
• 19:24
  certain point in your life? And you have to take that into
• 19:27
  consideration too, I think. I agree with either.
• 19:31
  So the question becomes, you know, do you, do you make the
• 19:34
  big jump? Do you make the big change?
• 19:36
  And that's kind of what we're here to say is there are other
• 19:40
  factors besides age that could go into it.
• 19:43
  But maybe you should take, you know, other people's perceptions
• 19:46
  of your age out of it completely.
• 19:48
  If it's really a factor, like you said, with stamina or
• 19:52
  physically, physically, whatever, that's one thing.
• 19:55
  But as far as like sitting there thinking, are people going to
• 19:57
  think right, that I'm crazy or you've got to?
• 20:00
  Take or. I'm old.
• 20:01
  Or you know. Yeah, Yeah, I'm too old for
• 20:04
  this. You don't ever let age like
• 20:06
  that. I mean, because I just, like I
• 20:10
  said, I feel like if you don't do something because of what
• 20:13
  other people will think, you're always going to wonder what life
• 20:17
  would have been like if you would have done it because you
• 20:19
  wanted to do it. So let's talk now about some
• 20:22
  things we have coming up in the very near future that you can
• 20:24
  get ready for. So we are going to be doing an
• 20:26
  episode coming up and we talked about this last week.
• 20:29
  Brooke Shields has a brand new book called Brooke Shields Is
• 20:32
  Not Allowed to Get Old. And so we're going to talk a
• 20:34
  little bit about that book as well as the book I mentioned in
• 20:36
  this episode, Mel Robbins. Let them.
• 20:40
  Very popular book. I got it for my daughter for
• 20:42
  Christmas. I'm.
• 20:44
  A few chapters in, I've also heard her say this on her
• 20:47
  podcast. And the whole theory is about
• 20:50
  just instead of worrying about what other people are doing that
• 20:53
  you have no control over, just let them.
• 20:55
  Just let them. And then there's something
• 20:56
  called let me, which comes after let them.
• 20:59
  Then you have to say let me. And we'll talk about all of that
• 21:01
  in an upcoming episode. But if you, you won't have to
• 21:04
  have read the books. But because I haven't read it
• 21:06
  either yet, but I will. But but you'll read 1 and I'll
• 21:09
  read the other, and then we'll talk about it.
• 21:10
  That way we know that anyone listening can be a part of the
• 21:13
  conversation regardless. But if you want to kind of study
• 21:16
  in advance, like if you're that kid in college that read the
• 21:19
  book before they talked about it in class, then that's your
• 21:22
  reading assignment. Yeah, I'm.
• 21:23
  Looking forward to both of them. I've heard wonderful things
• 21:27
  about so I'm looking forward to reading them and seeing the
• 21:31
  details, not just the stuff they talk about, you know, on social.
• 21:35
  Media, Exactly. Yeah, exactly.
• 21:37
  So Please remember, when it comes to big changes in your
• 21:41
  life, standing in in your own way, you can let that go.
• 21:46
  And don't look back.