Latest / Aspergers & Autism Podcast [The Aspie World] AuDHD / Children With AUTISM What NOT To Expect (ESSENTIAL)
Transcript
- 0:00So children with autism, this is what not to expect from them.
- 0:05This is a must see guys. Hey welcome back to the aspy
- 0:14world. My name is Dan, I have autism,
- 0:16ADHD, OCD and dyslexia and I make weekly videos on this type
- 0:19of content. So if you're new around here and
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- 0:35one. Guys, welcome back to the aspy
- 0:37world. What's going on?
- 0:37The place where we think differently daily.
- 0:40What's up my different? Think of FAM.
- 0:41If you haven't already, make sure to go and download my free
- 0:44Autism Life Hacks PDF book from autismhacks.net.
- 0:48Completely free. Just for you.
- 0:50From me, because you're awesome. So children with autism, I
- 0:53wanted to kind of like do a video on it because I feel like
- 0:57there's so many expectations from children.
- 0:58There's expectations. Parents have so many
- 1:00expectations of their kids, it's unreal.
- 1:02But parents expecting stuff from autistic kids, We have to be
- 1:06realistic here. And so I've listed out three
- 1:08things, three essential things to remember and think about When
- 1:11you have a child on the autism spectrum, you're dealing with a
- 1:14child on the autism spectrum and what not to expect from them.
- 1:16Because I think by showing you what not to expect, it may be
- 1:19easier than to try and say what to expect.
- 1:20Because who knows what to expect, but we know what not to
- 1:23expect in a roundabout way, if that makes sense.
- 1:25If I'm not making sense, you can drop me a comment down below
- 1:28anytime and say Dan or if you're talking about I read every
- 1:31single comment. So yeah, it's worth you doing
- 1:33that. So anyway, guys, so here are
- 1:36three kind of examples of things that are expectations that you
- 1:39should never kind of think you're going to have from a
- 1:41child with an autism spectrum condition.
- 1:43So first one I'm going to talk about is eye contact.
- 1:47Now look, children with autism will will struggle to make eye
- 1:50contact and struggle to maintain eye contact.
- 1:52This doesn't mean they're being rude, doesn't mean they're not
- 1:54listening. It just means that they have an
- 1:56uncomfortable situation when trying to make eye contact.
- 1:59And so some children will try to to make eye contact when they're
- 2:03on the autism spectrum and when they're dealing with you, they
- 2:05might just try and do eye contact.
- 2:07But we know as I know, because I am an autistic adult and I've
- 2:11been an autistic kid, that making eye contact is
- 2:13uncomfortable. It's difficult.
- 2:14It's hard to do. You know, looking somebody
- 2:16reaching into their soul and talking to them is really like a
- 2:18personal thing. It's really bizarre.
- 2:21It's really hard to even look my partner Naomi in the eye, you
- 2:24know, for long periods of time. I think it's quite, quite a
- 2:26struggle, but it's something to remember because people expect
- 2:29kids to look at me when I'm talking to them.
- 2:30And you know, and it's all these things that eye contact has this
- 2:33like pre notion that like you're only being nice when you're
- 2:36looking somebody in the eye or you're only really listening
- 2:37when you're looking somebody in the eye, which is complete
- 2:39bogus. I remember being on them.
- 2:41Good Morning Britain with Piers Morgan.
- 2:42And he, you know, I had loads of comments after being on the show
- 2:45because we were talking about my book, but I didn't make eye
- 2:47contact, obviously. And everyone was saying I didn't
- 2:50make eye contact with them and I was really disrespectful.
- 2:52But it wasn't the case. It was just the fact that it's
- 2:53really difficult for me to make eye contact.
- 2:55And you know, autism presents those difficulties in that way.
- 2:58So the second thing you should never expect is responding to
- 3:02their name right now lots of the time due to zone out.
- 3:05Which basically means that when you like zone in on something
- 3:07and you kind of like an autistic kid will zone in on something
- 3:10which they'll zone out from the world around them.
- 3:13You could be calling their name for hours being like, hey Dan,
- 3:15hey Dan. Hey Dan.
- 3:16And I'm like, we just zoned into this thing that I'm really
- 3:19obsessed with. And then the parents think,
- 3:21well, there's only two things that's going on here.
- 3:23A, they're just ignoring us because they dislike us and
- 3:26they're just wanting to be awkward.
- 3:28Or B, they're deaf or have some kind of hearing issues.
- 3:30And both of those are bogus, that none of those are true.
- 3:32It's just that when you're zoning in something and you have
- 3:34hyper focus on something like what comes with autism, when
- 3:37you're looking at something and you're really focusing on it,
- 3:39then everything else kind of gets blurred out and pushed to
- 3:41the back as a kind of secondary. And it just doesn't stop with
- 3:44children. This carries on their entire
- 3:45life. I can't tell you the amount of
- 3:46times in a week. Dan.
- 3:48Dan, Dan, you listening? I'm like, whoa, I don't know.
- 3:50You're talking to me about like, I'm just coming into this new
- 3:52from the start. So responding to names can be a
- 3:55task, but you just have to keep at it.
- 3:57A little trick is to ask them a question, like, hey, where's my
- 4:00nose? And not get distracted from the
- 4:02thing focusing on. Then they'll touch your nose and
- 4:04say there's a nose and then you can ask them, hey, Dan, what you
- 4:06want to do or whatever. So that's a little table little
- 4:09take away for that one, but definitely don't think too much
- 4:12of it and don't expect too much of it.
- 4:14OK. So the third one, the third
- 4:16expectation to not expect right is hugs and cuddles.
- 4:20Now because autism comes with a host of sensory processing
- 4:23issues and emotional communication issues, autistic
- 4:26children may not want to or may not enjoy hugs and close contact
- 4:30from people because they may sensory trigger them and that's
- 4:33fine. You know, it doesn't mean that
- 4:35they hate you or dislike you or anything like that just means
- 4:37that they they don't want to hug or they they don't like kids.
- 4:40Maybe they want to show affection in other ways.
- 4:42Maybe they want to play games with you or maybe they want to
- 4:44draw with you or maybe want to paint or something.
- 4:46And there's loads of way of expressing emotions often to hug
- 4:49or cuddle. And I know it's hard because
- 4:51parents just want to hug their kids and kiss their kids because
- 4:53you know that they that's their pride and joy.
- 4:56You know, it's their kids, their little baby and and I get it.
- 4:58But at the same time you have to respect the kids boundaries and
- 5:01understand where the kids coming from.
- 5:02Otherwise you're going to have a really upset and distraught kid
- 5:05And so you know no parent must upset their kid.
- 5:08Nobody wants to make anybody destroy.
- 5:10And so just bear in mind that don't expect too much hugs and
- 5:13cuddles. If they do voluntarily want to
- 5:14come and give you a hug or a cuddle or sit with you and do
- 5:16all this kind of stuff, then always welcome it with open arms
- 5:19and maybe it will progress into more common.
- 5:21But the time don't force it. Kind of like with the eye
- 5:24contact thing, don't force it and don't expect it either.
- 5:26And that's absolutely fine. Guys, if you want to carry on
- 5:28this conversation, drop me a comment down below.
- 5:30I'd love to read it. So if you think this video is
- 5:33valuable and could teach somebody something, why not
- 5:35share it in your Facebook page and Twitter page and Instagram
- 5:37account? Because you would help me out
- 5:38and help loads of other people out.
- 5:40And if you enjoyed this video, please give it a thumbs up and
- 5:42I'll see you next time guys. Peace.