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Good Enough Now with Diversity Expert, Jessica Pettitt · Authentic Living

• 0:01
  Welcome to authentic living with Roxanne, a place where we have as conversations about
• 0:08
  things that really matter in our lives.
• 0:11
  And now here's your host, Roxanne Derhodge.
• 0:36
  Hi, everyone.
• 0:37
  It's, Roxanne Derhodge of authentic living with Roxanne.
• 0:40
  Thank you so much again for tuning in, to my podcast.
• 0:44
  So today, I have a very special guest, Jessica Pettit.
• 0:48
  And Jessica and I met the cap's convention in Ottawa.
• 0:53
  Jessica, graced us with our presence, being surrounded by us, nice Canadians, like she kept
• 1:00
  saying, nice.
• 1:01
  I remember that, where she was a keynote speaker, at our conference.
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  And I completely enjoyed, your kino said, made me chuckle and laugh and understand things from
• 1:14
  a different perspective.
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  So I'm just I'm just gonna
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  I have a bit of
• 1:18
  a bio and I'm gonna read it, but what I like is for my guests to just, you know, tell, the
• 1:23
  listeners a bit about you when I'm done.
• 1:26
  So Jessica is, has a master's degree, in education, And she's also, a CSP in the
• 1:34
  speaking world that's a certified speaking professional, which means that she spoke lots
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  and lots and lots for a very long time.
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  And she pulls together, 15 years plus of, comedy, and you've, trained in comedy, and
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  along with diversity training in a wide range of organizations, to move groups from abstract
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  fears to actionable habits, to lead their teams to work together.
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  With a sense of belonging understandings, colleagues take more risks with their ideas,
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  converse Precious resources through collaboration and maintain real connections
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  with clients over time.
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  That sounds very nice because oftentimes, you know, diversity is such, a difficult topic for
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  so many people.
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  And, I remember when I came to Canada, and I was, sixteen years old.
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  And, you know, at that point, a lot of people didn't know where Trinidad and Tobago is on the
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  map, and they didn't know kind of where to place me.
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  And I remember remember thinking oh, well, that's kind of different.
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  Why don't you know where we are?
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  And so having lived a bit of that, you know, growing up elsewhere and and then moving to
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  North America, I, I have a real experience of what that was like having lived it myself.
• 2:54
  So, Jessica, thanks so much.
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  So tell the listeners, who you are and what brings you, to a space where you talk about
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  diversity and being real.
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  Yeah.
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  So, what's interesting the concept of being real is that I think most of us, and maybe I
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  could say most women, maybe say most entrepreneurs, maybe I can say most human
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  beings.
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  I don't know.
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  I'm only coming from my own perspective, but, I've spent years years years years trying to
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  quote be myself in a container that fit other people's expectations or desires, but I never
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  really asked what they were.
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  So I was making assumptions about what other people wanted and then trying to be what I
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  thought other people wanted me to be.
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  And it's just not really exhausting, really.
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  My my own diversity work, I almost, completely burnt out doing the same thing I was always
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  doing.
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  I wasn't noticing any differences or changes or anything.
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  And, it was really frustrating.
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  So about 3 years ago, I decided, that what if the consistent tool that I have trying to do
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  good work, but also trying to, like, have good conversations and good relationships.
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  What if, like, the base of just me was enough.
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  And, I did a lot of research on the concept of enough.
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  And, I think that it brings authenticity vulnerability, curiosity, and generosity
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  together and do a way that has been a much more invigorating way of living my life.
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  And accepts my imperfections and motivates me to try new things.
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  That is who I am, and that is what I try to inspire in other people.
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  You know, you'd talk about perfect and, you know, I I saw a client this morning and and her
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  thing was her story was, you know, I tried to be perfect, with what I grew up around.
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  And, you know, it kind of worked out, say when I was, you know, twelve or thirteen years old,
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  but then I grow up into this adult and I'm still not, you know, I'm trying to be the same
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  way.
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  I'm trying to, you know, be perceived a certain way by people, but I'm realizing it's not so
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  good for me.
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  I I'm really not being real, but it's kinda hard to step out of that role.
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  Your trainings.
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  Do you do you find a lot of people talk about things like that?
• 5:24
  Yeah.
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  Totally.
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  Specifically, when we start talking about diversity where You have well intentioned
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  people who don't wanna hurt anybody's feelings, but they're not willing to do the messy work
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  of, like, you are hurting people's feelings.
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  So they think that if they can, like, upload the right vocabulary or collect enough
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  different experiences or people that they will then be absolved from potentially offending
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  someone And that's one impossible.
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  And, 2, that's the easy part.
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  The hard part is recognizing that you don't even know when you're offending someone and
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  you're responsible for it.
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  And so part of part of doing authentic work is really being vulnerable with yourself and
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  allowing yourself to be curious and generous with yourself so that when you can be
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  responsible for who and how you are, then you don't feel the need for perfection.
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  You don't feel the need to satisfy other people's wishes you haven't even found out what
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  they are.
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  You're really just working on your own.
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  Not necessarily in a narcissistic way, but I don't think I think that if at the root of it
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  were all self absorbed, then we might as well use what we're good at, right, and do our own
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  work
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  So you work a lot with teams.
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  So I'm, you know, I'm curious because I've, obviously, I've been, you know, I've been a
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  leader.
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  I've been parts of teams.
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  I've had to work on a lot of projects.
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  And sometimes, you know, in teams, you have people that are stuck.
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  Right?
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  They kind of think that my way of doing things are the way that it should be done, and they
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  hard for them to look outside of themselves to see.
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  Well, you know, maybe Jessica's way is different, but it's okay.
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  So When you get teams that are stuck, right?
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  Let's say you have some that kinda gel really well.
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  There's 2 or 3 that kinda clump together and 1 or 2 that are kind of diametrically opposed.
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  So that's a lot of moving parts.
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  How do you kind of intervene when, when you work with these teams.
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  Well, first off, I don't know any team that isn't stuck on something.
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  And, a a good self assessment for any group trying to collaborate or work together is if
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  you think you're a really healthy, really successful team, look at the stuff that you're
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  not doing.
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  Mhmm.
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  Because you've probably shuffled out all the stuff that causes any conflict or controversy
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  or stuckness so that you're only working on the things that everybody agrees on.
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  Mhmm.
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  Or, and this happens a lot with, like, search committees.
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  Is you've fallen told people who behave exactly the way you do to work together.
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  And so surprise, the work is great.
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  The outcome isn't great.
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  It's not very innovative.
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  It's not conserving resources.
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  It's not being efficient.
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  It's not risking something or trying something new, but, like, look, the work is great, but
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  that's not what every team is really charged with doing.
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  And inspiring one another to think outside of the box and be innovative, etcetera.
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  The two people in your scenario, the two people that are diabolically opposite, If they could
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  agree on something, it would probably be something that is significantly more efficient
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  and more innovative.
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  What we end up doing is we keep the two people who are diabolically opposite of 1 another away
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  from 1 another to reduce conflict and then just maintain status quo.
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  Mhmm.
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  So I would say you have to encourage this and you have to encourage people who are in
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  conflict to figure out what it is they're bringing to the table that is less good or less
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  qualified than the other person.
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  Provide some humility in that conversation and what that other person can do that you can't
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  do.
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  And then once you have a better understanding of each other's strengths, then you can work
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  together.
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  And then all of a sudden, all this new these new ideas can happen, and then that becomes a
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  habit.
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  Because, you know, a lot of teams, they they you're right.
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  They muddle through things.
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  They get they hit the certain metrics that they need to.
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  Like you said, it's not It's not over the top.
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  It's not explosive.
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  It's not innovative.
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  And but they're still hitting hitting maybe targets, but they're not going superseding
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  them.
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  So a lot of organizations sometimes say, okay, well, it's kinda, we don't wanna look at that.
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  You know, we're afraid.
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  And I don't know if you've gone into organizations, and I know I've worked in
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  multiple hospitals in my career, where they a lot of times, those systems move difficult
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  people or perceive difficult people instead of dealing with them.
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  Mhmm.
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  So if you were to come been called in to consult with, say, a CEO that has, say, one
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  difficult person, what, what kind of guidance do you give the CEO or the say the senior team,
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  let's say this person is pivotal, they're important to the organization, but they're
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  difficult to work with.
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  Yeah.
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  I mean, some people are just difficult.
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  Right?
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  So Yes.
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  I think the first thing is to figure out is, what what is it about the person that is
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  difficult So, like, I think is I was a very difficult child.
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  I was very difficult in the classroom, but it's because I was under stimulated and bored.
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  Mhmm.
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  So as soon as I got enough agency to, like, make up my own research project and I was old
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  enough to, like, on my bike, get all the way to the library without crossing any, like, rules
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  or boundaries or something, and I could check out my own books.
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  I became much more tolerable in the classroom because I was doing my own work.
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  I was I was more interested in what I was doing, so I could do their stuff to get to do
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  what I wanted to do.
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  Possible that it's just a structure.
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  It's possible that it's a, typically speaking difficult people either are missing structure,
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  connection to something larger, real understanding they're bringing something to the
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  table that nobody else is.
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  And so that would be my first place is to kind of figure out where is the source of difficulty
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  coming from.
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  Mhmm.
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  The other thing I would say is that when we do We get very nervous about conflict or we get
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  nervous about what, like, a firing would look like either across identities or across, like,
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  the capital that that person brings in.
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  Sometimes they're the founder of the organization.
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  Right?
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  There's all ticking and things like this.
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  And so when you move someone or you create a job for someone that's difficult and you're
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  just hoping they hate the job enough they leave on their own, First off, you're really
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  devaluing the work you've moved a difficult person into.
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  Because now that place has to deal with this difficulty and it has a negative impact on how
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  their work is pursued in the organization because everybody kinda catches on to what
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  you're doing.
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  Usually except for the difficult person.
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  So what I really what I really encourage when I work when I do consulting with organizations or
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  associations or businesses is to be able to do a self assessment of what's missing of the
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  strengths of the people that you're working with and what the experience of the people
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  you're working with and then either hire or tap into the few people who have those skills.
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  So that that there's there's an acknowledgement of a role someone is playing, even if they're
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  the only one who does this.
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  You know?
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  So the ability to be, make connections that are connected to significantly larger ideas would
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  be really annoying in the middle of an accounting meeting, but, but it's also the case
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  that accountant's books can be completely a 100% in order and not necessarily realize that
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  when paired with the strategic plan and the vision of the organization, the organization
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  isn't going to thrive.
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  Mhmm.
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  Because, I I like to use lamps as a metaphor.
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  Okay.
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  Some people that there are downward facing lamp, so they only see this.
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  There are other people who are an upward facing lamp, so they only see significantly bigger
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  than themselves.
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  And then there's the people who are really difficult, and they're like a strobe light.
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  Right?
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  They just wanna do But you need all 3 in order to actually be really successful.
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  So, really, it's about, you're looking at resourcing all the strengths at first.
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  And then once you do that, then you're looking at, okay, what are the limitations or the
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  blockages that allows the team to gel in a way.
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  And then what if there is, ongoing conflict, say, between 2 team members?
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  Do you
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  everybody's frustrated by somebody.
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  Right?
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  So, typically, I get brought in to fix the frustrating person.
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  But the reality is is that we are all frustrating to somebody.
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  Mhmm.
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  So if you or I or Todd can do the work required to figure out how am I frustrating?
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  How do I show up in a frustrating way?
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  Then I actually have a space of empathy for the people that are frustrating me because I know
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  what it feels like to be the person causing their frustration.
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  I know what what it feels like.
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  So if I can do that about myself, then I can show up much more aware and responsible for
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  where it is that I'm coming from.
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  That could be annoying other people.
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  That habit helps other people do the same thing.
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  And conflict is not horrible.
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  Conflict is where a lot of really fascinating ideas come from.
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  Mhmm.
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  What's horrible is avoiding or the the the lack of confrontation of I don't understand.
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  And that's being more humble and bringing a sense of humility into a conflict so that you
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  can actually be creative and innovative and try new things.
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  Right.
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  Right.
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  So tell me more how how you came up with your brand because, I I I find it fascinating, your
• 15:25
  brand.
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  So tell me how you did you work with someone to formulate your brand
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  or brand of good enough now?
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  You mean,
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  yeah, good enough now.
• 15:34
  Yeah.
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  Because when I listen to you on stage, it is so interesting, right, because, you know, when we
• 15:39
  when I speak to, right, you're right.
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  We get up there and you're thinking, you're trying not to think about what others think
• 15:45
  about you, but it is so true.
• 15:47
  Kind of get up there and think, oh, did I wear the right dress?
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  You know, did I, did I, you know, you know, engage people in this certain way?
• 15:54
  There's so many things that we go through.
• 15:55
  And I, I can, I can say as a psychotherapist, in behind closed doors, people, you know, show
• 16:00
  me who they are once they've kind of recognized that I'm safe?
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  It's a different kind of situation.
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  But on, you know, with your brands and, and being on stage, what I loved is how you
• 16:11
  unpacked it telling your story.
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  So tell me a little bit more about that because I really it made me chuckle, but it really made
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  me think because you know, oftentimes we think, you know, I'm, I'm, you know, from, you know, a
• 16:23
  different, country, I'm also judging.
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  Right?
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  You know, sometimes if the perception is when someone needs you and you're foreign, they
• 16:32
  think, well, you know, you are you judging me?
• 16:35
  Of course, we all.
• 16:35
  We all, all inherently kind of, you know, making us an assumption of about a lot of
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  people.
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  So I'm just fascinating with how you came up with your brand and how you kind of talking
• 16:45
  stage about diversity.
• 16:48
  Sure.
• 16:48
  So, I mean, first things around judgments and assumptions, which I think is important in your
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  naming, is that We make judgments and assumptions to feel safe and prepared.
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  Mhmm.
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  And our lived experience has taught us when we can feel safe and prepared.
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  So that's like our lizard brains, right, is that this is the information we need to know.
• 17:09
  Okay.
• 17:10
  Let's go from there.
• 17:11
  And then my my premise is that don't stop doing that.
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  Like, old school diversities, like, you're never ever ever supposed to make judgments and
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  assumptions.
• 17:19
  Well, How do you ask out somebody on a date versus somebody you don't ask out on a date, or
• 17:25
  how do you parallel park without making judgments and assumptions?
• 17:28
  Right?
• 17:29
  I I don't think it's a practice that needs to be eradicated.
• 17:32
  I think you just need to be responsible for the the patterns that you are making when there's
• 17:38
  positive or negative conscious or unconscious bias involved in your judgments and assumptions
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  And what is the story behind that?
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  What is the root of what makes you feel safe and prepared?
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  And then just acknowledge that that is not the same for everybody else.
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  So then you had you can write your story.
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  Just write at triple space with extra wide margins.
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  So that when you're actually engaging with someone else, they can give you edits to your
• 18:06
  story.
• 18:06
  So leave room for edits so that I can find out real accurate information about the person I'm
• 18:13
  about to interact with.
• 18:15
  They know their story better than you do.
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  You know your story better than they do.
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  So why are you not engaging in that kind of conversation with a sense of curiosity and
• 18:26
  generosity to get nobody likes to be wrong, so I like to say writer.
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  Right?
• 18:31
  Like, our stories can become more right.
• 18:34
  So That's first.
• 18:36
  Right?
• 18:36
  Mhmm.
• 18:36
  So as a professional speaker in my audiences, I was on an extended trip where every program I
• 18:45
  was gonna offer or I'd offer happen to come up on the same trip.
• 18:50
  And so I just had weird idea to have audience smippers write down on a sheet of paper, what
• 18:56
  their favorite takeaway was.
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  And then after I've dragged at each one.
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  I stapled them and threw them in my suitcase, and then I came home.
• 19:03
  I looked at all the sheets.
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  And so there's many things that came from this as far as, like, developing my brand.
• 19:08
  It's always interesting to talk about branding and authenticity, right, is that branding is
• 19:13
  not the font or the color it's who you are.
• 19:18
  Right?
• 19:18
  So, at the National Speakers Association's last event was called the BrandLab and I was
• 19:25
  actually part of a panel.
• 19:27
  And I get asked all the time, like, how did you decide?
• 19:31
  Like, how to be?
• 19:32
  And I'm like, I don't know.
• 19:34
  High school, like, I had a 24 hour head gear, and this is what happened.
• 19:41
  I've got great teeth, and I'm super sarcastic.
• 19:44
  But it was just too much work to try to be speaker, Jessica.
• 19:49
  So I just thought I would be, yes.
• 19:52
  Right?
• 19:52
  Mhmm.
• 19:52
  But, like, you know, I'm I'm known for having funky hair and weird glass and I don't own
• 19:59
  hardly any, like, single colored, plain, solid, outfits.
• 20:06
  Right?
• 20:06
  Like, I I like me a good pattern.
• 20:10
  But it's also really affirming that I hear a people will come up to me and that I don't
• 20:15
  remember.
• 20:15
  And I met them years ago, and they'll always say, like, I don't expect you to remember, but
• 20:20
  I remember you.
• 20:20
  We'll Course you do because I wear, like, giant polka dots or something.
• 20:24
  But, they always say, like, you were so nice.
• 20:28
  Mhmm.
• 20:28
  Like, you I you know, there's at the brand lab, a guy stood up and said, you know, we both
• 20:33
  we're checking in the hotel roughly at the same time in the middle of the night.
• 20:37
  He's like, I had no idea who was speaker.
• 20:39
  You had no idea that I was with National Speaker's Associates and something fell off his
• 20:43
  cart And I picked it up, and I said, hi.
• 20:46
  And made eye contact and asked them how's flight was.
• 20:49
  And Mhmm.
• 20:49
  I don't even remember doing this, but I'm not surprised that I did that.
• 20:54
  Right.
• 20:54
  Who I am as a person.
• 20:55
  Right?
• 20:56
  But that's also who needs who you need to witness when you watch my videos or who you
• 21:01
  need to witness when you go to my website.
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  So or broadcasting, right, like, hello.
• 21:07
  I just finished breakfast.
• 21:08
  I am wearing this week's nice outfit.
• 21:11
  Right?
• 21:12
  This is what I looked at.
• 21:13
  What's the what's the pattern on the outfit?
• 21:15
  I'm trying to make it out.
• 21:17
  So I'm not big.
• 21:18
  Yeah.
• 21:19
  I don't know.
• 21:20
  I don't know.
• 21:22
  Jellyfish.
• 21:24
  Jellyfish.
• 21:25
  Okay.
• 21:26
  Cocodots, streaming together.
• 21:29
  It does.
• 21:30
  It looks it looks very, very lively.
• 21:33
  Yeah.
• 21:33
  I don't know.
• 21:33
  Yeah.
• 21:34
  It's, like, got pockets too.
• 21:36
  So, anyway, so 321 back to the audiences that I had right on their little sheets of paper,
• 21:41
  something they remembered.
• 21:42
  So as speaker, what's interesting is I offered, let's say I offered 10 programs.
• 21:47
  I did this little activity, and the big lesson is I will never buy me.
• 21:53
  I will never be in my own audience.
• 21:56
  Mhmm.
• 21:57
  Because I'm with me all the time, which is why I'm like this.
• 22:01
  Right?
• 22:01
  So, even my husband can't do this all the time.
• 22:04
  He's like, go out of town.
• 22:06
  But my audiences are the they themselves the audience.
• 22:11
  So I listened to their topics or the comments that they made what was interesting first off
• 22:17
  is I had 2 workshops that in my mind were completely different, and one was kind of
• 22:22
  paying to do because it involved a lot of supplies that were really expensive.
• 22:26
  And the other one, I really like to do more because it doesn't have supplies.
• 22:30
  Well, it turns out.
• 22:32
  The same outcome for an audience in both of these.
• 22:35
  So I just stopped doing the one that had really expensive supplies, and now I only offer the
• 22:39
  one I like to do better anyway.
• 22:41
  Oh, I didn't know that.
• 22:43
  Right?
• 22:44
  So then the other thing is I looked at all the sheets across all of my programs consistently,
• 22:50
  to see if there was any pattern in what they learned from me or my message.
• 22:55
  And there was.
• 22:56
  And, right, you know, if it was a snake, I'd be dead.
• 23:00
  Was do the best you can with what you got some of the time.
• 23:06
  And I say this I believe this.
• 23:10
  It's a punch line to a lot of my jokes.
• 23:12
  It's a punch line in a lot of my stories.
• 23:14
  Do the best you can with what you got some of the time.
• 23:16
  So I was like, okay.
• 23:17
  Well, That's pretty much who I am generally.
• 23:22
  And then I reduced it down to 3 words.
• 23:25
  So do the best you can.
• 23:27
  If I believe everybody is actually doing the best they can, then it's easier for me to
• 23:31
  believe that at the heart, everybody is good.
• 23:35
  Nice.
• 23:36
  Nice.
• 23:36
  What a nice way.
• 23:37
  So, basically, you're just dissected what people liked, the outcomes that you had in all
• 23:42
  your audiences.
• 23:43
  Mhmm.
• 23:44
  And then really it it reinforced who you really are.
• 23:47
  Yeah.
• 23:48
  So I actually do believe that everybody is good.
• 23:50
  Think some people are struggling.
• 23:52
  I'm struggling, but I believe everybody's good.
• 23:54
  Yeah.
• 23:55
  Do the best you can.
• 23:56
  With what you already got, then that means that it's not about accumulating more or getting a
• 24:02
  degree or, you know, when this happens, then you are good or you're enough That's where
• 24:08
  enough came from.
• 24:10
  That actually came out of, a conversation with my brother, and I don't know if I told this
• 24:14
  story during the keynote or not.
• 24:16
  But when my parents died, I raised my brother and I felt incredibly incompetent to be an
• 24:22
  older sister and read all these books and went to all these conferences and everything.
• 24:26
  And I was at dinner with my younger brother at some point in time in this journey, and I,
• 24:31
  like, admitted to him that I felt, inferior, and I didn't know how to be a sibling.
• 24:38
  And I was trying really hard, and I'm sorry I suck at it so bad.
• 24:41
  And my brother, like, put his forkdown and was like, you've been my older sister since the day
• 24:46
  I was born.
• 24:48
  You're already my older sister.
• 24:51
  You could just, like, return a phone call.
• 24:54
  That would be enough.
• 24:57
  Right?
• 24:58
  And I had missed the consciousness of being his older sister while I was preparing to be his
• 25:04
  sister, enough What if what you have right now is actually enough?
• 25:11
  Mhmm.
• 25:11
  That's alarmingly terrifying for most of us, but that's where enough came from.
• 25:16
  And then some of the time, I think sometimes we wait for the perfect time.
• 25:23
  And what if some of the time is now And what if some of the time is not now?
• 25:29
  Okay.
• 25:29
  At least you're taking responsibility for what you're choosing to enter or not enter.
• 25:34
  Which is really you're talking about being present.
• 25:37
  Right?
• 25:37
  Like, I mean, you and I, all we have is right now.
• 25:41
  And, you know, oftentimes when I coach or consult, you know, or see people 1 to 1, that's
• 25:48
  what happens.
• 25:49
  They're either propelled in the future because they're worrying about so many things.
• 25:52
  Or the repelled into the past.
• 25:54
  So that space of just being able to say, wow, you know, and, but we're so oftentimes so busy
• 25:59
  comparing that were out of that space.
• 26:02
  And like you said, what if really, this is probably the best it's gonna be.
• 26:06
  We have so many good things.
• 26:07
  But our, our selective brain kind of picks out the things that are wrong versus kind of going
• 26:12
  to what's what's really right.
• 26:15
  Great.
• 26:16
  So do the best you can with what you got some of the time to us.
• 26:20
  You're good enough now.
• 26:22
  New brand, and it is way less stressful because it just gets to be me.
• 26:28
  So tell me about, bit about your com your committee background because you're, obviously,
• 26:33
  you're, you know, people like me have to learn, I mean, to do it on stage.
• 26:38
  And I've got a bit of humor, not like you, but you you're you've got a comedic background.
• 26:43
  Would you mind sharing a little bit about that and kind of how that helps you or enhances or
• 26:48
  sometimes debilitates your capacity on stage.
• 26:52
  Well, that's that lasts a little bit.
• 26:53
  It's probably the smartest quote.
• 26:55
  So, I mean, I grew up with in a family that used a lot of humor and is big storytellers.
• 27:02
  Right?
• 27:03
  They also, like, everyone had a PhD, right, even my grandmother's had PhDs.
• 27:09
  Wow.
• 27:09
  Who I kind of envision, like, super nerdy academics who told jokes to stay alive.
• 27:16
  Basically.
• 27:18
  They didn't work.
• 27:18
  They all died before they were 50, but still, they were funny in the meantime.
• 27:23
  I think humor I'm motivated to humor because I think it is the great equalizer that No matter
• 27:32
  how much conflict or how much contentiousness exists between two people or a topic, if you
• 27:38
  can use humor, you can find the middle ground.
• 27:42
  Mhmm.
• 27:42
  And if you really can't find a middle ground, then outside of that topic, right now, in the
• 27:48
  moment, you can both Enjoy a good laugh.
• 27:52
  Mhmm.
• 27:53
  Mhmm.
• 27:53
  And then that connection helps find more connections.
• 27:57
  Absolutely.
• 27:58
  I think it's very helpful.
• 27:59
  And I think that an ill timed joke, an inappropriate joke, a joke that doesn't land,
• 28:06
  can also really hinder those connections.
• 28:09
  So it's a risk, but, most of the time, I find that the reward is worth it.
• 28:15
  Do you sometimes find, diversity?
• 28:18
  Do you do, diversity with, racism at times?
• 28:21
  Do you do talks Yeah.
• 28:23
  And how are those, how are those compared to just doing diversity in teams or Are they more
• 28:32
  difficult to do?
• 28:33
  No.
• 28:34
  I mean, to me, it's all the same thing.
• 28:35
  So I talk about every topic no one wants to talk about.
• 28:39
  Okay.
• 28:40
  Anytime I walk into doing consulting or speaking or training work with a group of
• 28:44
  people, there are more elephants in the room than there are humans.
• 28:49
  And so I just have to kind of figure out which elephants are unique to that audience.
• 28:55
  And the way to do that is to hit on the elephants that are rampant ism, immigration
• 29:06
  issues, our general fear of difference.
• 29:09
  Like, that's, like, base 1.
• 29:11
  Right?
• 29:12
  And then from there, I can get a little bit more specific about what's actually happening
• 29:17
  or potentially happening in the workplace so, we can get to embezzlement, fried,
• 29:23
  inappropriate hires, nepotism, sexual harassment.
• 29:27
  My favorite is I was doing some board consulting.
• 29:31
  And there was a an individual serving on the board who I intuitively figured out was having
• 29:39
  a inappropriate romantic relationship with 3 different people in the room.
• 29:45
  And everyone in the room knew it except for the other 2 of the people that makes any sense.
• 29:50
  Mhmm.
• 29:50
  Mhmm.
• 29:51
  And they wanted to do team building about working together better.
• 29:54
  And I was just like, so I'm seeing an elephant.
• 29:59
  Right?
• 29:59
  But I can't start with that.
• 30:02
  No.
• 30:02
  Goodness, though.
• 30:03
  Steve, keep your pants on for an hour, will you?
• 30:06
  Like, I can't do that.
• 30:08
  So I have to start somewhere.
• 30:10
  And sometimes starting at racism, which is usually terrifying for people to engage with,
• 30:16
  and terrifying because either it's a daily thing they're dealing with, and now they have
• 30:19
  they feel that they have to do the education of it.
• 30:21
  Or the crazy white lady with the weird hair is going to, like, call out all the white men.
• 30:27
  I mean, it's been done poorly for so long.
• 30:30
  But if I can start at racism and we're kind of, oh, okay.
• 30:34
  I see her approach her style, and I can get to speed, keep your pants on.
• 30:38
  It's causing power dynamics at work.
• 30:41
  I'm actually serving that team.
• 30:44
  So you're tipping you're tipping your toe in the water.
• 30:47
  Based on what's in your what's in your room, on what's in the context, which makes sense.
• 30:51
  So, you know, so racism, you think, oh my god.
• 30:54
  You know, what a topic to start with, but if it's about paradynamics and differential
• 30:58
  systemically, guess what?
• 31:00
  Make sense.
• 31:00
  Right?
• 31:01
  So it's, so it it depends on what the context of whatever you're dealing with.
• 31:05
  Right.
• 31:06
  And I'm very self I mean, you mentioned this too.
• 31:11
  I did that, you know, several months ago, but you remember that I I share a lot of stories
• 31:15
  about me going through this journey.
• 31:17
  Right?
• 31:17
  And so, because I think it's important to include everyone in the room and no one in the
• 31:22
  room become the target or the educator, that's what I'm getting paid to do, that stylistic
• 31:27
  difference allows me to talk about much more controversial topics.
• 31:32
  Absolutely.
• 31:32
  Well, it was, I remember my memory of meeting you was meeting you at the Tim's line, and I
• 31:37
  did not know who you were.
• 31:38
  And then you were saying, Oh, these Canadians just so and I'm like, I guess she must not be
• 31:42
  kidding.
• 31:42
  That that's all I thought because you were chitchatting, and they're all just so nice.
• 31:45
  And and then I was following you, and I think you had probably just checked in also to the
• 31:50
  hotel and you know, and that kind of stuff.
• 31:52
  And then I thought, oh, she's the keynote.
• 31:54
  I had no idea because I was chitchatting when we were in the, the lobby of the hotel, those
• 32:00
  types of you are you are real.
• 32:02
  Like, I mean, I often say that that's the that's the biggest thing.
• 32:05
  Right?
• 32:05
  I'm, I grew up in the Caribbean, and I often talk to everybody.
• 32:08
  You know, my son goes, Ma, do you have talk to everybody every time.
• 32:11
  Like, well, what's fun?
• 32:12
  You never know who you're gonna meet.
• 32:14
  You know, so it's a it's a nice thing to be able to see that in other people.
• 32:18
  Now, Jessica, this has been, opening again.
• 32:21
  Just, you know, I know it's not this was not as comedic as when you were on stage, but but I've
• 32:26
  learned so much more about, your your true core message.
• 32:30
  I just wanted you to if there's any last words you'd like to share or tell the, the listeners
• 32:35
  where they can get a hold of yourself or if they're ever needing someone to speak, or just,
• 32:41
  resources that, know there's some resources that you can direct them to.
• 32:46
  Absolutely.
• 32:46
  So to get a hold of me, generally, good enough now.com is or Jess at good enough now, dotcom
• 32:52
  is a great way to do that.
• 32:54
  But I also have some secret pages on my website.
• 32:58
  And if you go to good enough now.com/ freebies, f r e e b I e s.
• 33:05
  There's some free downloads and videos and things like that to talk about the model in my
• 33:09
  book.
• 33:10
  As well as, like, the definitions or the activities that are in the book because, of
• 33:14
  course, it's, like, highly interactive because I have the attention span of a net.
• 33:19
  But that's all there for free.
• 33:20
  It doesn't cost anything at all.
• 33:21
  And if I can ever be of service, let me know.
• 33:24
  Awesome.
• 33:25
  Well, thank you again.
• 33:26
  You know, I think of my brand on authenticity, and and you're right.
• 33:30
  We're good enough with what we have at the moment, and it may be the best that it is.
• 33:34
  And the more that we learn to accept ourselves for who we are, it's just a nicer ride versus
• 33:40
  looking at the other alternative.
• 33:41
  So thanks a lot again for taking the time.
• 33:45
  Hopefully, we will are I may come to NSA.
• 33:48
  I'm I'm still on the fence, but I'm I know you're gonna be there from what I've seen, with
• 33:52
  our fellow speakers online.
• 33:54
  So, hopefully we can connect then.
• 33:56
  And, for my listeners, please reach out to Jessett, if you're needing anything at all.
• 34:01
  So again, thanks again for listening and tuning in to authentically living with Roxanne.
• 34:07
  And if you're needing any more information, just go to Roxanne.
• 34:12
  Thanks a lot.
• 34:13
  Take care.
• 34:13
  We'll chat with you soon.
• 34:15
  Anada.
• 34:17
  Thanks for tuning in to authentic living with Roxanne, creating the space for positive
• 34:22
  healthy chain.
• 34:24
  Roxanne is a keynote speaker, psychotherapist, and coach to work with Roxanne, visit Roxanne
• 34:31
  Derhodge dotcom/blueprint.
• 34:34
  We'll see you next time on authentic living with Roxanne.