Latest / Authentic Living / Making the Shift from Weak to Winning with Talisa Beasley, Licensed Therapist

Transcript

Making the Shift from Weak to Winning with Talisa Beasley, Licensed Therapist · Authentic Living

• 0:01
  Welcome to authentic living with Roxanne, a place where we conscious conversations about
• 0:08
  things that really matter in our lives.
• 0:12
  And now here's your host, Roxanne Derhodge.
• 0:36
  Hi, everyone.
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  Thanks again for tuning in.
• 0:39
  This week, I have a colleague Tulisa Basil.
• 0:43
  Beasley.
• 0:43
  Sorry.
• 0:44
  Did I say that wrong?
• 0:45
  Beasley.
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  Joining us today.
• 0:47
  Hi, Tulisa.
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  How are you?
• 0:49
  Good morning.
• 0:49
  Oh, good afternoon.
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  How are you?
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  Good.
• 0:52
  Good.
• 0:52
  How's how's everything in Atlanta?
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  Warm.
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  Thank god.
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  Yes.
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  We're just getting snippets of it here in in in Niagara.
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  And, I'm just we we've been getting lots of rain, which has not been good.
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  So I'm gonna read a little bit about Talisa's background and, and then we're gonna just jump
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  right into things.
• 1:14
  Talisa is a leading expert in helping women shift from week to winning by helping them to
• 1:20
  leverage their talents so that they can increase their impact, influence, and income.
• 1:27
  Tulisa's painful, yet powerful journey has helped her to defy the odds by mastering her
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  god given talents that have catapulted her from being an an unemployed teenager, teenage mom,
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  to a multiple business owner.
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  It is with this passion and skill set that she helps women identify and incorporate the needed
• 1:48
  solution that needs results.
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  She's an an author, a woman's leadership coach and speaker, a radio personality, and to Lisa
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  seeks to help others become the champions of their life, becoming unstuck, balanced, and
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  empowered.
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  Wow.
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  That sounds amazing.
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  So, Talisa, thanks for joining us today.
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  And, I didn't know a bit about your background, you know, that you're, you know, a teenage mom.
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  Tulisa and I, colleagues, speaking colleagues, and, we met a a goodness about, about almost 6
• 2:27
  to 8 months ago now.
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  Tell me about what brought you to want to help women, kinda find that inner pebble and
• 2:37
  strength within themselves.
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  Well, again, thank you for having me on your show today.
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  I really admire what you do, with resilience in helping people to recognize the of it.
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  It was actually kindred spirits that we met, because we actually both work with, people.
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  Doing, therapy and, also doing speaking and training.
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  So it was very good to be able to be matched with you.
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  But pretty much my own story, you know, from being a teenage mom, I was I got pregnant in
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  the last year of high school, and it was during the, what I call, the baby's having baby
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  season, where there was teenage pregnancy added height.
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  So we were ridiculed and labeled and all sorts of things.
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  And I was often told that my life was over, and it was nothing I could do about it.
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  And I would just be home with my mom for the rest of my life, and my son would be in and out
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  of jail throughout his life, and that would be it.
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  But I have very strong strong family background, specifically my mother who
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  literally hemmed me up in the corner and told me you will not be and you will go to school,
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  and you will be great.
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  And it was for that foundation that helped me catapult into the life that I'm in now.
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  You know, she helped me get through school, helped you know, raising the child.
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  Unfortunately, my son's father chose not to be part of his life.
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  So I literally had to do it by myself with the help of my family.
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  And they have been tremendous and helped me to recognize that you can really do anything.
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  So the topic of resilience that you speak from is what I had lived.
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  So what were some of those core values that's, you know, You're a mom and your family
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  instilled in you because you're how old are you at that point?
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  Are you, like, eight seventeen, eighteen years old?
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  18.
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  I was eighteen years old, extremely impressionable and, you know, afraid of
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  literally what could possibly happen.
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  So some of the core values was you know, that we are resilient as women.
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  We have that that gene that runs through us that helps us to you know, take care of the
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  children, be studying for finals, go to work, make sure the house is clean, get to bed, and
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  look good doing it.
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  You know, so
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  Oh, do you all are you always look good?
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  It's always look good.
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  We look good at doing it, you know.
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  So, you know, just really taking that to the next level and really helping women to
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  recognize it in all the people that I've come across, people I work with intimately, clients
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  that I have, that area is usually lacking.
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  They don't feel as though they can, and, they struggle with, performance and moving forward.
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  So I made it a goal of mine to help other people not to have to experience what I went
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  through.
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  Thank goodness, teenage pregnancy has dropped tremendously since that time.
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  But there are other challenges that come into play, that tell us that we can't do it.
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  So helping people to get to where they wanna get to in life and be champions of life is a
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  goal of mine.
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  So you had some messages that I were you know, obviously quite powerful, right, as a young
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  woman.
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  Like you said, you know, people kind of steer typical you know, teenager, teenage pregnancy,
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  a child that's seventeen to eighteen years old, kind of, you know, how your life path was gonna
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  be defined in Of course, your mother had no part of that.
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  Thank god.
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  And she kinda created that anchor that allowed you to find that space that ultimately was in
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  you to be able to do that.
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  When you work with women today, and and I know, you know, you work with women, to help them
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  find that inner strength within themselves, but you'd work a lot also with women and diversity.
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  So I wanna talk more about that.
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  So what are some of the core things that you find woman come forward today, to to discuss
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  with you, when they're when they're coaching or training or you're speaking on behalf of their
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  organizations.
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  What are some of the core things that they come forward with?
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  The number one thing that focus on is identifying the the talents that you have, the
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  gifts that you have, so to speak, depending on who's speaking.
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  But I noticed a lot of, people specifically within our society are focused on other people
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  and what they're doing versus what you have to bring to the table.
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  And that's actually a quote of mine.
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  You don't have to get people to bring talents to the table because once you do, then you're
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  able to utilize those to help and do the things that you are, you know, doing done a job or
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  within a business, however you wanna do it.
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  But, again, our society, unfortunately, focuses on what other people have And what I find is
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  that we often are trying to mimic what other people have instead of looking at what it is
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  that you had.
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  I also suffered with that as well because I was trying to grasp withdrawals to figure out how
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  to move forward, with a toddler.
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  I'm an only child, so it wasn't like I could take this child to other people.
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  I literally had to read them by myself.
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  And you didn't have a lot of places to go.
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  So you're trying to figure out, okay, what do I need to do?
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  And I often try to mimic other people, but I started recognizing that it was what I had, and
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  people were telling me, you're gifted.
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  You can do X Y And Z.
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  So that's what I tried help women is identify their gifts number 1 and then how to be able to
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  help them utilize them to catapult them into the area they want to be in.
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  Is that conversational where you actually try to kind of drill down with them in conversation
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  about their strengths, or are you actually doing a more of a formal assessment with them
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  to really help them kind of, you know, like the strengths indicators or those types of things.
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  How do you approach it?
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  We actually do do a number of things.
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  We do, assessments.
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  We also do, an assessment of life, so to speak.
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  Because, again, the different trials and and tribulations you've gone through in your life,
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  produce those skill sets that you never thought you would need to utilize.
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  So we actually do formal assessments, but we also find out, you know, the areas that they
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  have their strength in, so that they can master that because, again, working in an area that
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  you're not comfortable in, you're probably not gonna be really successful in it.
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  But we do do that and we do examine, you know, how they've been able to get through various
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  challenges in life.
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  And then we focus on how to be able to market that talent.
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  And, you know, it's so it's interesting.
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  I just recently did an assessment myself.
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  And something I always knew, and my my friends and my people close to me will say, oh, yeah.
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  We know that about you.
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  I'm very good, big picture.
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  You know, always have these big goals and probably do too many things at once, but when
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  it comes to the microscopic details, It always was something that I struggled with.
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  You know, I I could get it done, Talisa, but, you know, even today, when I have to do that
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  scopic things.
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  I really have to get myself into that mode.
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  I can do it well, but it takes me to taking special energy.
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  So the worst thing I can do is to kinda leave it till the end of my day.
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  Let's say let's say I have a lot of things to do that are microscopic, and I think, uh-oh,
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  I'll leave it till, like, you know, end of day, 3:30 ish.
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  I don't get to it.
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  Right?
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  Because at that point, I'm tired.
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  Then I get frustrated.
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  And then I'm like, Oh, I'll I'll get to it again tomorrow.
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  So, you know, when I kinda looked at that assessment that I did, an assessment, it's
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  called the Harrison assessment.
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  What it really showed me was that, you know, you're good enough at this.
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  You can be proficient, but it's not one of your strengths.
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  But it doesn't mean that you can't increase that and learn about yourself in order to
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  maximize the time.
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  So I could imagine what the value is for the women that you work with that are able to kind
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  of see that with me.
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  I know how valuable that's been.
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  Absolutely.
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  And, again, it's it's more or less becoming aware of it.
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  To know exactly what you have.
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  And I love what you said, which is if you're not if that's not a strength of yours, we can
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  work on that area and improve it.
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  It doesn't mean that, oh, you know, I'm totally out.
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  I tell this story all the time, in school growing up, I had a horrible time with keeping
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  my mouth closed.
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  And my mother would say to me, excuse me, she said to me between 9:3, because that's when
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  school was.
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  It started at 9.
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  It ended at 3.
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  She said between 9:3 belongs to me.
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  Anything after that, you can run your mouth all day long, but between those times, they belong
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  to me.
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  So every report card I had said she's a good student, but she can't seem to keep her mouth
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  closed.
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  And my mother said, when you find a job, where you that will pay you to run your mouth, then
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  you can do that.
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  So, of course, now we've identified that, and I said to her, Tada, we've done it.
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  We found a job that allows me to run my mouth.
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  You know, she said, what's funny?
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  You remember that.
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  But I was ridiculed.
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  I was talked about.
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  I was, you know, she can't keep her mouth closed, you know, things in that nature.
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  So it tends to create a negative label for yourself.
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  But it actually was a skill set, and I didn't know.
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  So helping women to identify what they have is is key.
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  Because once you're able to do that, then now they can operate from a point of strength
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  versus operating from a place of black.
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  You know, it's so it's so interesting that you say that.
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  I gotta tell you, you and I have so many parallels.
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  So when I was small, they called me chatted box.
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  That was my nickname.
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  And I was always chattering, right, like in talking.
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  And I remember explicitly.
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  So I went I was born in Trinidad.
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  I went to a British school system.
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  It was very strict, and I was in standard 5.
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  So I must have been about twelve years old.
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  And because I'm a social butterfly.
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  I remember, be get I got the ruler.
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  I got hit with the ruler for the first time in my life by a teacher that I loved profoundly
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  because I was talking too much in class.
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  And, you know, what did that teach me?
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  I was like, okay.
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  Keep your mouth quiet if you want to excel and which is the opposite of what you know, when I
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  look at my skills and the things that I'm supposed to be doing, which is speaking and
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  coaching and training, it's, you know, a little girl like me at twelve years old that may not
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  have gotten the guidance would have learned to stay quiet.
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  I'm not be able to talk.
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  And I remember, you know, it gave me such, a discomfort within myself to be able to continue
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  doing what I did because I thought talking was not right But luckily, you know, that didn't
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  last too long.
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  And it really kind of puts, you know, difficulty between myself and my teacher who I
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  loved as, you know, because he had to follow the rules, which meant you're not fitting in.
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  So you have to he had to make an example of me in front of the class.
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  So it's I'm sure I wonder how many people can can relate to what you're saying about your 9
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  to 3 and my you know, being told to be quiet by by way of, some of this, punishment.
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  So you in When you speak and I know you work a lot with diversity, with women, can you tell
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  can you tell us a little bit more about that?
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  So, many statistics show right now that women are the top, group that are graduating from
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  college.
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  They're graduating in enormous amounts.
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  But when it comes to getting back into the business world, we're not seeing that displayed
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  as far as them getting to, c suite positions or executive positions.
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  So if they're moving to a certain point, they're actually what we would call
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  bottlenecking.
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  They're getting to a certain point kind of stopping old way of saying it was you have the
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  glass ceiling, and trying to break the glass ceiling and get beyond it.
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  So it's it's pretty much it's a twofold thing.
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  It's 1, the in the environment or I or or our our atmosphere right now is kinda not
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  recognizing that they are a high group amount of people who are graduating from college and
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  have the skill sets that they need, mainly because they go by tradition.
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  So we're gonna do it the way we did it before.
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  Men were in those positions.
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  Women we know are working, but we're not necessarily recognizing them getting to the
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  hierarchy position.
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  And the second part is, of course, women feeling that, you know, not being accepted.
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  So they're going after trying to accepted and they're going to a certain point.
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  And now 2019, some women are deciding, okay, I've had enough, and I'm just leaving the
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  business world totally altogether.
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  And going to go start businesses.
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  So, again, it's twofold.
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  It's it's the side of how we feel about it being treated this way for so many years.
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  And at the same time, creating an atmosphere that is accepting of it.
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  So, again, all of those fall in the area of diversity, I do work with women, but I also
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  work with corporations on how to except women into the fold.
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  There are many statistics that stipulate, you know, when you have, more diversity in your
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  leadership team you have a higher profitability.
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  So, again, just helping them to actually do that.
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  And speaking of that, recently, within the last year, state of California, the governor
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  actually, I'm not sure if it created a law.
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  I'm not sure how he would implement the law.
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  But stated that he wanted more women on board of directors, just in that state alone.
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  So, hopefully, that will be copied by the other states and carried over.
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  But for right now, California is actually leading that.
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  So what kind of things do we know about women in leadership and why in fact they're better
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  for those corporate or, board board positions that other one, you know, in the past, like you
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  said, you know, it was it still is perfectly men.
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  We I know we're shifting also here in Canada.
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  I inter interviewed one of my colleagues not too long ago, and they're working really,
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  really hard to create diversity, of women and boards.
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  And it's coming along.
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  So what kind of things when when you speak to, you know, corporations or c suite executives
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  that are looking at trying to kind of equalize or get more competitive in the workplace.
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  What kind of things do you know that women bring to C suite that you're able to share with
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  us.
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  Again, it kinda comes back to our talents.
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  Women have been leading for years, honestly.
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  It is not something that's new.
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  It's not a nuance.
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  It's not any of that.
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  It's just a matter of awareness and recognizing exactly what talents they have.
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  I was joking a little earlier when I said, you know, we can have the baby on our hip be
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  cooking dinner, cleaning the kitchen, studying being good to the husband doing all of that,
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  calling mom on the phone and handling all the poor APM.
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  So we've been doing it for The problem is not really recognizing how that translates into
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  business.
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  There are a few women that are in executive leadership.
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  I believe the well, she's now the ex president of Pepsi Cola, was in I believe her announced
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  the name Indra.
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  But she just recently left.
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  There are some other CEOs that are coming into play.
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  But, again, a slow process and helping them to recognize the talents.
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  The number one thing that comes to mind is insight.
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  Women are exceptional at insight, being able to kind of read things that are not practical.
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  Looking behind the scenes, most times, unfortunately, in our recent election in 2016,
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  it came up again of the conversation of, you know, where we don't want her to get emotional
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  and press the red button by accident and what does that mean?
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  A lot of the negative things come out versus more of the positive, because traditionally,
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  usually when men, get ill, And I don't say all men.
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  I just say some because I don't like to generalize.
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  They usually break down, and they're leaning on the woman in the home at the time, you know, to
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  kinda keep together.
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  And then once they come back together, it was like, okay.
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  Now I'll just take it back on.
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  But really paying attention to what it took to do that.
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  How to be you know, as I've heard in the past, the backbone at the time, you need a strong
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  backbone or you're gonna fall apart.
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  But, again, it's not really translated really well into the business world.
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  And, that's my area of focus of helping them to actually see the benefit.
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  And, really, the United States is behind the eight ball with this.
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  Other countries are actually leading in this area because they're recognizing that it's a
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  higher probability having, you know, mixed gender leadership, so that you can get it from
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  all sides and then make what I would call an educated decision.
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  For sure.
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  And I think, you know, like you said, that intuitive guts, right, that women have is
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  something.
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  And, again, I I, you know, I'm not you know, like you, I'm not, stereotyping, but, you know,
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  that that element, whether it's because of, you know, the roles we played or the or the
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  practice.
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  Like, you're you're talking about what happens before 8 o'clock, and I think of what happened
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  in my house before 8 o'clock this morning.
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  I'm thinking, well, she she Was she seeing it to my world this morning?
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  You know, and, you know, we're we're constantly juggling so that that concept of almost like,
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  oh, I call practice jewel and rehearse.
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  You know, you after a while, you're able to, you know, to do it to to care for so many
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  things.
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  And so so many moving, balls all at the same time that I can imagine that that intuitive got
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  along with that capacity to do multiple things.
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  You know, that that that brings such a a gift to senior leadership.
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  I'm sure a lot of I'm gonna say men and women listening or HR exec, you know, managers,
• 20:57
  directors, or, or listening, and they're wanting to maybe potentially think about what
• 21:03
  some some things they could do, right now, right, whether they're women listening and
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  thinking, you know, I wanna be able to kinda continue to climb, but, you know, I've been,
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  you know, I've been kind of, diverted or the things I've tried up and worked, what kind of
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  things might might be start to consider if they're, you know, wanting to, kind of move up
• 21:26
  the ranks in leadership in their organization.
• 21:29
  Well, one, it's it's the first thing is to consider that there's another perspective to
• 21:33
  look at.
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  A lot of times when you're feeling a certain way that tends to monopolize, your life.
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  If I don't feel well, I usually don't act well.
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  So if you hear people say I'm tired and you can see it in how they respond to things, but
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  accepting the idea that there is another way to look at this is probably the first thing that I
• 21:53
  would say.
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  A lot of people who have done work with me has said, well, I didn't look at it that way, and I
• 21:58
  realized I do have what it is that I need to do.
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  And to kinda go back to what you were just mentioning a second ago, if you take all of
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  that, all of that insight, all of those things, and then add them to the degrees that they are
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  now obtaining, again, that's just gonna be massive to be able to take that forward and
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  say, okay.
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  Now we can apply it here, there, and everywhere.
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  So the number one thing is, 1st of all, recognizing there's a new way to look at it.
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  2nd is maybe, you know, adopting the idea that we would need to coach.
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  Somebody to actually help me pick out those areas and work through those areas, so that I
• 22:34
  can be the best that I want to be.
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  The third thing is, you know, in the area of talent management, I know for HR directors or
• 22:42
  people in HR, They're looking for the talent.
• 22:46
  Sometimes we really need to look at how a posting is listed for a job that they're
• 22:51
  actually listing.
• 22:52
  You know, certain words kind of get people's attention.
• 22:55
  You know, we need someone who's exemplary in this and a per and a woman may think, I'm not
• 23:00
  exemplary.
• 23:01
  I'm okay.
• 23:02
  You know?
• 23:03
  So I'm not gonna apply for that.
• 23:04
  Men and women applied for jobs totally different.
• 23:07
  Women look for, you know, I wanna get nice percent of what they're asking, and then I'll
• 23:11
  apply.
• 23:12
  Men look like it totally different.
• 23:14
  Men will have 50% of it and still apply.
• 23:17
  And the concept is if I can get in front of the person, I can convince them that I'm a good fit
• 23:22
  for this job.
• 23:23
  You know, so again, it's how we see it.
• 23:25
  You know, we're looking at it totally different.
• 23:28
  And also for people who are working within corporations, you know, look at the areas of
• 23:32
  need.
• 23:34
  If I need someone to kinda help with this, a particular client may have X Line Z, and you
• 23:40
  don't have any executives that do that.
• 23:41
  We need someone to kinda mix it up a little bit and help us to see it from a different
• 23:45
  perspective.
• 23:46
  So all of those things are kinda areas that you can start, you know, recognizing.
• 23:50
  Maybe I do list things the wrong way.
• 23:53
  I want somebody who's excellent in blah blah blah.
• 23:55
  You know, we all know that those job postings are wish list.
• 23:59
  They really are.
• 24:00
  They're just wish list.
• 24:02
  So if I can get that, that would be great.
• 24:04
  But if I can get close, I'd be good with that too, but that's not exactly, you know, said
• 24:10
  throughout the posting, and it puts people off about even applying for it.
• 24:15
  And guidance, right?
• 24:16
  Because I think of when I got my first, corporate consulting job, and I looked at the
• 24:22
  description, it it blew me away.
• 24:24
  I was like, woah.
• 24:26
  You know, and then I thought, okay.
• 24:28
  So how am I gonna get there?
• 24:29
  And I I I worked with a coach.
• 24:31
  So luckily, I was able to have somebody look at it, you know, it's that objective frame, right,
• 24:36
  when you have someone else look at what you've done, and then pick out those tran transferable
• 24:42
  skills or the positioning of of how you write it, you know, into you know, the letter or the
• 24:48
  the the resume, those types of things really made a difference.
• 24:51
  And, and that's I'm going back probably back in 19 goodness, 1997.
• 24:57
  And that that helped me propelled me into the corporate sector where I was able to enter into
• 25:02
  a bigger arena and gain the skills that I needed to kind of get where I wanted to get.
• 25:06
  But had I not gotten the right guidance?
• 25:08
  Cause there was nobody in my realm around me that was wanting the same things.
• 25:12
  I didn't have a colleague or a friend or somebody say that was ahead of me that could
• 25:17
  mentor me, which I I often look for those people.
• 25:19
  And if I can't, then what I've ended up doing is going to coach.
• 25:22
  You're you're so right.
• 25:24
  And then we're so subjective sometimes when we look at ourselves, we don't see, you know, all
• 25:28
  those pebbles in the rough that somebody else, like a coach, or a mentor can kinda pull out
• 25:34
  from us.
• 25:34
  Absolutely.
• 25:35
  And and also considering, okay, what's the goal?
• 25:38
  You know, the other thing that needs to be it is, what's the plan here?
• 25:41
  Where am I trying to go?
• 25:43
  Back at 18 when I didn't know any better, you know, the goal was to finish school.
• 25:48
  But most people don't know about me is it took my son's entire life to finish my undergrad.
• 25:53
  So he was seventeen.
• 25:55
  I was graduating college.
• 25:57
  You know, and just happy to get there.
• 25:59
  We actually would have graduated the same year, but I slowed it down because I didn't wanna
• 26:04
  steal his thunder.
• 26:05
  So I wanted him to graduate and have his time, and then I graduated after him.
• 26:11
  So, you know, it took time, but the plan had be mapped out.
• 26:15
  This is the goal.
• 26:16
  And then after you meet that goal, then let's get to the next one.
• 26:19
  And without a plan, you're not gonna be able to do much of anything.
• 26:24
  So, you know, part of what I do with women is helping them to map out what the plan is.
• 26:27
  Same thing with companies.
• 26:29
  What are we trying to do in your ex, you know, how do we wanna get there?
• 26:34
  What's it gonna take to do?
• 26:35
  So planning is very, very important to the process.
• 26:39
  You know, and I think of the strength that must have taken, to raise a child and to go to to
• 26:48
  university.
• 26:49
  Wow.
• 26:50
  That, I mean, complete share strength, you know, because I think of, you know, when my you
• 26:55
  know, I've obviously gone to school quite young and those types of things.
• 26:58
  And when I went back to grad school, I was in school with a lot of parents, and I could see
• 27:04
  the struggle.
• 27:05
  Like, I mean, how much they had to juggle, and I I didn't have the response.
• 27:09
  And I was still under stress.
• 27:11
  So I could just imagine what it was must have taken, or when you talk to other women that are
• 27:16
  there that thinks, well, you know, I have to shut that door because now know, have children
• 27:20
  or those types of things to be able to bring your frame must be quite powerful.
• 27:24
  But again, even to the point of what you speak on, which which I love is resiliency.
• 27:29
  Women have always been resilient for years.
• 27:32
  But we just never really focused on what it to actually get where we have gotten to, you know,
• 27:38
  so to really bring the focus back to, okay, it took this.
• 27:41
  It took that, you know, I never claimed all the credit by myself because it was my foundation
• 27:46
  of my family that actually helped me to get there.
• 27:49
  They modeled the behavior for me.
• 27:51
  This is what you do, and this is what it's gonna take.
• 27:54
  And, I give my mom credit in that area because she didn't finish school.
• 27:58
  And when she started school.
• 27:59
  I was eleven years old.
• 28:02
  And, the nighttime soap operas, and I'm aging myself a little bit, Dallas, Dynasty,
• 28:09
  Falconcrest, all of that was on.
• 28:11
  And the very first, one, I believe, was, Flamingo Road.
• 28:16
  And it came on at 9 PM.
• 28:18
  She would not get home till 9:30.
• 28:20
  It was my responsibility to tell her what happened the 1st 30 minutes, and then catch up
• 28:24
  on the next 30 minutes.
• 28:27
  But to see her, she graduated at 62.
• 28:31
  Wow.
• 28:31
  And to see her go through the whole process.
• 28:35
  When she graduated, I had already had my my undergrad.
• 28:39
  And I said, how does it feel to be on the state?
• 28:41
  And she said it feels really different because I'm used to celebrating your stuff.
• 28:46
  But again, to see her do that from the age of eleven for me and to make it at 62 and
• 28:53
  graduate, again, just was modeled for me.
• 28:55
  So as you mentioned earlier, a mentor you know, coaches, people you needed.
• 29:00
  I didn't do this alone.
• 29:02
  But people helped point out, okay.
• 29:04
  You can do this well.
• 29:05
  Let's try to incorporate this.
• 29:07
  And that's exactly what I help women to do.
• 29:10
  So how how should women, or anyone, for that matter, thinking, I don't know how to go about
• 29:18
  choosing a mentor or coach.
• 29:19
  What kind of what kind of things do you think that they should be thinking about before they
• 29:24
  approach someone or even you know, if they are able to to hire someone, what kind of things
• 29:29
  should they be looking for?
• 29:30
  We definitely wanna look for what the person doing.
• 29:34
  If it is exactly what you wanna do, then that's that's a good sign that we're headed in the
• 29:38
  right direction.
• 29:39
  But a big piece that people miss is make sure that it's a good match between you and the
• 29:44
  individual.
• 29:46
  Report is everything.
• 29:47
  So if you're talking with someone who does not relate, doesn't understand any of what you've
• 29:52
  gone through, but you admire what you're doing.
• 29:54
  It's probably not a good match.
• 29:56
  So you wanna find somebody who's a good match for you you also wanna find someone, who is a
• 30:02
  good spokesman for you.
• 30:03
  Someone will speak of you when you're not in the room.
• 30:06
  That actually helps to tell you to the people that they're actually with so that they know,
• 30:11
  oh, let me keep an eye out for, you know, such and such.
• 30:15
  You know, who's coming up and, a person that will be honest with you, 100%, about what's
• 30:21
  going on because sometimes we have to have the the hard conversations.
• 30:25
  To say, okay.
• 30:26
  You really need to fix this area.
• 30:27
  You need to consider X Y And Z.
• 30:29
  And when you put those things together, you actually will probably have a good mentor.
• 30:36
  And, you know, another thing that I I've always done, Tamisha, is I pick up the phone Right?
• 30:40
  Like, if I see somebody and there was someone and I'm gonna forget her name, and this was
• 30:46
  about 2 years ago, she was like, She at the time, I believe, was the head of Tennessee.
• 30:53
  I've had I'm gonna pick up the phone.
• 30:57
  And the the National Speakers Association people that don't know the, who that is.
• 31:01
  And I picked up the phone, and she picked up the phone.
• 31:05
  At the same time, I thought I was going to and I'm gonna forget her name and she I said, and I
• 31:13
  thought I was gonna get her voice mail, and I left this message.
• 31:15
  You know, I was about to leave my message voice.
• 31:18
  And she goes, Hello.
• 31:19
  And I went, hello.
• 31:20
  And I and she spent half an hour on that telephone with me, giving me advice about what
• 31:27
  it would take to get into the speaking world.
• 31:30
  And, you know, what I did is I just basically listened to everything she said and I did
• 31:37
  everything she said to do, and I was so grateful.
• 31:40
  And that's one thing that I would share from my experiences.
• 31:42
  Don't be afraid.
• 31:43
  Don't be afraid.
• 31:44
  If there's something you are someone that's doing what you wanna do, And most of these
• 31:48
  people are gracious like this individual that spent half an hour.
• 31:52
  She didn't know me.
• 31:53
  I I I'm I'm gonna remember her name 8 later.
• 31:56
  And at at some point, when I go to that con on that convention, I'm gonna go up and tell her
• 32:02
  how she made a difference in my life because she spent a half an hour.
• 32:04
  So don't ever be shy about picking up the phone.
• 32:08
  I would tell you, and I'd make sure Talisa probably has the same experience.
• 32:11
  Most people have an abundant mindset where they think I can help you because I've been there.
• 32:17
  And I I've been remiss to say that anybody that I've reached out to has never given me the
• 32:21
  time.
• 32:22
  Don't know if you would agree with that, Theresa.
• 32:24
  I would totally agree.
• 32:25
  Don't be afraid of anything.
• 32:27
  You know, everybody breathes like you do.
• 32:29
  They put on pants like you do.
• 32:31
  Pick up the phone and call.
• 32:32
  You know, the worst case scenario, you'll get voice mail like you were preparing for voice
• 32:36
  mail.
• 32:37
  So you already knew I'm gonna get voice mail, you know, but the the courage it took to pick
• 32:42
  up the phone, you know.
• 32:44
  And and to some women, they feel like, you know, well, well, you guys have all that cur
• 32:48
  that courage.
• 32:49
  I don't.
• 32:50
  I wouldn't believe that that to be true.
• 32:51
  You know, you have courage.
• 32:52
  I don't care if it's a lot a little bit.
• 32:54
  It can be built upon.
• 32:55
  But the goal is this is what I want to do.
• 32:58
  What what are the next steps it's gonna take to do?
• 33:00
  And if she said she couldn't talk to you, okay, well, at least I called, She's got your name
• 33:05
  now.
• 33:06
  You know, she'll she'll call you, you know, and it kinda goes from there, but it's really just
• 33:10
  taking the first step.
• 33:12
  To say that I can actually do this.
• 33:14
  And now let's start identifying what the steps are to move forward.
• 33:18
  And if someone doesn't call you back, Don't let that stop.
• 33:21
  You call someone else.
• 33:23
  That's also doing it.
• 33:24
  And I find that, most people will give you the time.
• 33:27
  They'll tell you know, I've only got 10 minutes or whatever in which you're re which is
• 33:30
  respectful, but you can gain a lot in a 10 minute call.
• 33:34
  So, Talisa, what I'm wondering is one last thing before we wrap up is when is it that you
• 33:40
  women or people thinking about kind of making a shift within their corporation When is it that
• 33:47
  they should maybe be thinking about, look, the environment I'm in may not be able to afford
• 33:52
  what what I'm trying to gain.
• 33:53
  When is it that people should kinda start to look at that.
• 33:57
  I would always say, first of all, you know, you mentioned earlier, Roxanne about, you know,
• 34:00
  seeing the big picture.
• 34:03
  So if we see the big picture, then we know, okay.
• 34:07
  This is where I want to go.
• 34:08
  The next thing behind that is looking at my environment.
• 34:10
  How is that going be accepted because, again, we were just talking about the fact that women
• 34:15
  are graduating college at high levels, but they're not moving there.
• 34:19
  But there are other parts of the world that are.
• 34:22
  And sometimes educating people and introducing different things to them also helps them to
• 34:28
  broaden their perspective on So don't think that because they're not in the same place you
• 34:32
  you're in doesn't mean that it's a total no.
• 34:35
  It may mean I have to go around a different way.
• 34:37
  My analogy, all you for that is my son was born at almost £12.
• 34:43
  And, yes, he was eleven pounds, 9 a half ounces, So, yeah, we we kinda did the thing.
• 34:49
  Just just did it all up.
• 34:51
  So, of course, he grew to be his nickname when he was small with baby shack because he towered
• 34:55
  over people.
• 34:56
  And it was just amazing.
• 34:58
  But right now, we're in the midst of the NBA finals and Toronto event.
• 35:03
  So you guys are excited up there.
• 35:05
  But again, it's how people got to where they are.
• 35:08
  So for him, we were looking at, you know, the typical way normally is high school, college,
• 35:14
  and then get selected for the MBA.
• 35:16
  But now in 2019, there are so many different ways you can high school, college, you can come
• 35:21
  out of college early, go into the MBA.
• 35:24
  You can play ball overseas.
• 35:26
  You can get red shirt and then walk on to the team.
• 35:29
  There's so many different ways.
• 35:31
  But if you think this is the only way that would stop you.
• 35:35
  So sometimes it's a matter of educating people for someone to just walk on to an NDA trial you
• 35:41
  know, you're thinking it's 1 in a 1,000,000, but you could be that one that actually gets
• 35:46
  selected.
• 35:46
  But once they find out what skill sets and this is where I'm coming back the skill sets that
• 35:51
  you have and they recognize this is what I want, then that opens the door and off we go.
• 35:58
  And you could be the first You could be the roads of parks of something.
• 36:01
  You who knows?
• 36:02
  But we'd wanna take that step forward.
• 36:04
  And if we have to educate people, we'll educate them But if you have marketable skills and
• 36:09
  things they want, it's not a question whether they'll take you or not.
• 36:13
  I like that because, you know, education in today's and, you know, the perception of it is
• 36:17
  shifting where they've gone out of the traditional steps.
• 36:20
  Now when you could propel forward, and like you said, you could you could be doing things that
• 36:23
  people have never done before.
• 36:25
  Talisa, it's this has been a pleasure.
• 36:28
  I know, that, you know, that concept of looking at skills and having conversations and is the
• 36:35
  biggest part that I think I've gained today.
• 36:38
  What I'd like you to do is to tell people, where they can get a hold of you if they'd, you
• 36:42
  know, like to to, hire you for coaching or, looking at having you come out to speaker
• 36:48
  train, any of their people in their organization.
• 36:52
  Well, you can always go to my website, which is talithabegley.com.
• 36:56
  And then they spell it because sometimes people mess up a little bit talifabas in
• 37:02
  babyeasley.com.
• 37:06
  You can email me on there.
• 37:08
  I'm on social media.
• 37:09
  You can go on in the beginning consulting, and find me on, Facebook and Twitter.
• 37:16
  Definitely reach out to me and we will see how to connect and start you moving forward.
• 37:21
  Awesome.
• 37:22
  So for everyone, you know, we're in that I've taken away today is there's no door that you
• 37:28
  can't open.
• 37:29
  And if that one doesn't open, move on to another one, stay focused on that you are
• 37:35
  unique and you have the skills, sometimes maybe you may not be able to do it or CHN yourself,
• 37:40
  but find someone else that if your if your judgment might be a little bit cloudy, get a
• 37:45
  mentor or a coach to help you out.
• 37:47
  So if you're needing more information on me, you can meet me at Roxanne.
• 37:53
  I do keynotes, training and coaching.
• 37:55
  So take care.
• 37:56
  Thanks a lot again, Talisa, and we'll chat with you soon.
• 38:00
  Thanks for tuning in to authentic living with Roxanne, creating the space for positive,
• 38:06
  healthy change.
• 38:07
  Roxanne is a keynote speaker psychotherapist, and coach to work with Roxanne.
• 38:13
  Visit rocksandurhaj.com/blueprint.
• 38:17
  We'll see you next time.
• 38:19
  An authentic living with Roxanne.