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Narcissists will take you for granted · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people?
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  Today we're talking about how narcissists will take you for
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  granted if you're new here. My name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist.
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  And welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
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  Boom. Welcome back, folks.
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  Welcome back. Welcome back.
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  Welcome back. This is one of the things that I
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  feel like a lot of people have to realize when you're dealing
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  with narcissists and toxic people that they will absolutely
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  take you for granted. It's just one of those things.
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  Y'all it it just, it's just one of those things that things that
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  consistently happens within toxic relationship dynamics,
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  within toxic relationship spaces, within the, you know,
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  the the sphere of toxicity when you're dealing with a toxic
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  narcissistic person. This is, this is kind of what's
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  going to happen, you know? And this is not me just trying
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  to say, oh, this is this is what you have, like this is what you
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  get. You deserve this or anything
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  like that. This is just me letting you know
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  that this is the this is probably a consensus across the
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  board of what people will agree to that they feel like in a
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  toxic relationship with a narcissist, you are taken for
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  granted. You just are.
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  And it's like me trying to hammer away home any kind of
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  crazy point like you will, you know, And I feel like at the
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  end, like you, you have a lot of regrets.
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  Like, especially the longer you stay in a toxic relationship,
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  the more regrets you have, the longer like you don't.
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  You might not regret your children.
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  You might not regret the life you you might have built and
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  whatnot. But you regret the fact that you
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  spent so long not getting what you deserved.
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  In this In in in a relationship, from a person, from a partner,
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  from a husband, from my wife, whoever this person is, you
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  know, you might have regret. You might regret forgiving them
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  for doing something horrible to you.
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  You know, You might regret forgiving them for lying to you,
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  for cheating on you, for manipulating whatever it is
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  you're probably going to regret. Regret it, you know, Because
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  they will take you for granted. And this is what one of the main
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  reasons why a narcissist will take you for granted is because
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  they don't think you're ever going to leave.
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  You know, in the mind of a lot of narcissists, this is not
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  every single narcissist. I don't speak for every
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  narcissist. I know.
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  I get people who come on like a page and crying and whining and
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  stuff like that and crying on Reddit, not, you know, and
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  Twitter and wherever y'all be crying at.
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  They. I don't speak for every
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  narcissist, but they don't think you're going to leave.
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  Let's keep it realistic. They think that you're they
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  think that when you sign this, this, this marriage license or
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  whatever, or you do, you have a kid with them or you sign a a
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  contract to purchase a house, to buy a car or something like
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  that. They think that you are signing
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  up for this toxicity, for this abuse.
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  They think you you are OK with it.
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  And especially when you don't leave, like let's say they do
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  something to you and you don't leave.
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  They really think it's OK. They really think that the
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  behaviours are OK. They really think that the the
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  toxicity is OK. They really think that what
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  they're putting you through or what you're dealing with right
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  now, they think that you think it's OK and that's the space
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  that a lot of people fall into right there.
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  And I and I and I hate it, I hate that a lot of people have
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  to deal with it. But this is this kind of, this
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  is kind of where it goes, y'all, you know, this is actually kind
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  of where it goes in these spaces, within these dynamics
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  where you like who are you dealing with?
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  And that's why I like to tell people they're like narcissists
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  and toxic people, Y'all will absolutely just waste a lot of
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  your time. And this is the thing right
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  here. The narcissist does not feel
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  like that they are wasting time. They don't feel like they are
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  wasting time because their needs, whatever their needs are,
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  their needs are getting met. You know their needs are being
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  met. They're they're getting what
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  they want out of this relationship most of the time.
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  They might complain and act like they're not and be make you feel
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  guilty that they're not getting what they want, but they are
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  still getting what their needs met.
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  You are not. They're taking you for granted.
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  Like you know what people say, what people say, Well, like you
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  never know what you have until you lose it.
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  That's what they'll tell you when you if you decide to leave
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  them. I didn't know what I had.
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  And I and I and I just treated you badly.
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  And that now I realize that when I had now I realize that it's
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  gone. I really do.
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  I know it's gone. I really, really do.
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  I know what I'm. I know what I missed out on.
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  So please come back. No.
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  No, no, no. They knew what they had.
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  They just didn't think that they would lose it.
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  They think that they had conditioned you to accept or
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  tolerate these toxic behaviors. They can.
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  They they feel like they conditioned you to be here
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  through thick and thin, even though they wouldn't be there
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  through thick and thin with you. I think so many people
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  understand when I say that right there.
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  But they expect you to stay through thick and thin.
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  But they will not stay through thick and thin.
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  They will not be there for you. They will not be there.
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  They will not exist with you. They will not.
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  You know they won't stay with you when you need them.
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  You'll be there for them. You'll nurture them.
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  You'll you'll give them everything that you have.
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  You know you give them every ounce of being and humanity and
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  empathy and compassion that you have within within yourself.
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  And they won't give you 2 ounces.
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  They might give you a little bit here and there.
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  They they might give you a little bit.
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  They might give you enough just to keep you right.
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  They'll give you enough just to keep you.
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  But overall, it's not enough. It doesn't end up being enough.
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  And you understand it too you and you know it.
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  You know you know it. You feel you get it.
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  You get that it's not enough. You understand that it's not
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  enough. You hate the fact that it's not
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  enough. You really do.
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  You know. This within those spaces you
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  hate the fact that it's not enough.
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  You get it, but you stay through it.
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  So they think it's OK. And I know what people are going
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  to say. They they they'll use their
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  look, they'll use their religion against you.
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  They'll use not their religion. They'll use your religion
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  against you. Even if they are not religious,
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  they will use your religion against you.
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  The Bible says that the wife is supposed to do this.
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  The Bible says that the husband is supposed to do this.
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  Like you haven't even read the Bible.
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  I know, but I know what it says. I know what it says.
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  My heart knows what it says. God I've I've never read the
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  Bible. I spelled the word God wrong I
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  spelled the word God with 2DS until I just saw it in the
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  Bible. But I love you.
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  You know how to spell love LUV you know but that's the space
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  y'all. They will absolutely take you
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  for granted. So how Like this is the question
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  I have. This is the question I have to
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  ask you. How long were you going to let
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  them take you for granted? You know now this video woke you
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  up. My other thousands of my other
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  videos have helped. Wake Wake woke you up to what
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  you've been going through, to who you've been dealing with, to
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  what you've been tolerating. What are you going to do about
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  it? That's the that's the dilemma
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  right there. What comes next for you?
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  Because you get it. You understand that you know
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  what you've been through. You know who you've been dealing
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  with. So what are you going to do
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  about it? And this is, this is not me just
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  saying that anybody can up and leave.
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  This isn't me saying that anybody could up and just start
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  setting boundaries and whatnot. I know everybody's situation is
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  different. So what you can do is start
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  taking baby steps in the right direction in order to heal and
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  in order to grow, in order to protect yourself, in order to
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  protect your peace, in order to to stop, in order for you to
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  stop taking you for granted. Because if you think about it,
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  in these spaces, you are also taking you for granted when you
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  stay in these types of relationship dynamics when you
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  have no boundaries, especially in the beginning.
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  Y'all like, it's easier to set boundaries in the beginning than
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  it is in the end. It just is.
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  And this is not me. You're trying to This is not me
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  victim blaming. This is me trying to help wake
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  people up. This is victim awakenedness
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  right here. This is me helping you
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  transition from being a unknowing victim to a knowing
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  victim to a survivor to a thriver.
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  That's the transition I want to help you transition into these
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  dudes, into these new spaces where you don't take you for
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  granted. Even if you cannot leave this
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  toxic relationship, even if you choose to stay in it, any types
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  of relationship, you can stop taking you for granted.
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  You can start setting these boundaries, and you can start
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  setting boundaries piece by piece.
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  I'm not telling you to do a complete overhaul immediately
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  because you have to be safe, but I'm just saying you can stop
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  taking you for granted as well you can't.
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  You can. You can empower yourself.
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  And this is me trying to help. You empower yourself to get to
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  that point where I know, I know you can do it.
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  You know you can do it. So it's up to you to take those
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  necessary steps in the right direction.
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  I know you. It's it's the fear that comes
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  in. They they condition you to be
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  scared. They want you to be scared.
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  They want you to be afraid. They want you to to just beat
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  your they they want you to be beaten down.
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  Narcissists don't want you to be strong.
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  Let's just keep it real. They do not want you to be
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  strong because your strength is a Your strength is does not
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  your. You being strong does not
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  benefit them. So they don't want you to be
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  strong. They want you to think that
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  these behaviors are OK. They want you to think these,
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  these behaviors are the best you're going to get.
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  Even if you leave me, nobody else is going to treat you any
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  better. Nobody else is going to want you
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  with these kids. Nobody else is going to want you
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  with that job. Nobody's going to want you
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  looking like that. Nobody's going to want you with
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  that weight. Nobody's going to want you with
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  that with that lack of hair. Whatever it is, they try to
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  demean you and strip your power away from you.
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  They try to do that type of stuff.
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  They want to beat you down. They really, really do.
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  That's the space that you get into.
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  You know, that's the space that you can fall into.
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  They want that to happen. They want you to be a part of
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  it, you know, So it's time to wake up this wake up season
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  right now. It's time to wake up.
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  It's time to stop taking you for granted in order.
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  And so they look, they can't take you for granted if you
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  don't take you for granted. So it's taking, it's taking baby
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  steps in the right direction to go do something for yourself.
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  That's today's assignment. Go do something for yourself
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  today. It doesn't.
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  When I say do something for yourself today, it doesn't have
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  to be major. It doesn't have to be major.
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  It'll be something little. Y'all.
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  Read 5 pages of a new book. Go for a walk.
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  Turn your phone off for a little while.
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  Meditate. Pray.
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  Do something for you. Call a friend you haven't talked
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  to in a long time. You know, post a pic.
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  Do something for you to make you feel better about yourself.
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  It's baby steps. That's always like right now.
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  If I don't know I'm working on myself.
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  Love course. I have a self love course.
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  Then I'm working coming out for Myself Love Journal.
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  Myself Love Journal is available on Amazon.
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  Check it out Lee Hammock I love Me Self Love Journal.
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  It's available on Amazon, but I'm working on a course to go
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  along with that. It's going to help you learn how
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  to grow and learn how to work on yourself.
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  Learn how to do little baby steps for yourself every single
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  day. That's the goal of the course
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  right there, So I appreciate everybody tuning in today.
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  I'm truly thankful for y'all being here.
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  Don't take you for granted. Don't take this video for
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  granted. Because if you made it this
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  fall, you haven't subscribed. You're taking me for granted.
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  And it hurts. It hurts.
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  Me. You hurt?
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  My feelings, you know. Anyway, y'all like and
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  subscribe. Happy Sunday mental.
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  This is a peace. Thank you so much for making it
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  to the end of my video. You are a mental illness
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  Rockstar and I appreciate you for being here.
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  If you haven't already, make sure to click on the screen to
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  subscribe to the channel and watch another one of my videos
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  on my playlist. There's also a link available up
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  here for you to purchase my kids.
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  But remember, it's not your fault on Amazon, so check that
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  out. Thank you.
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  I will see you in the next video.
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  Peace.