Latest / The Inner Beacon Podcast With Marisa / Growing Together In Marriage Ft. My Husband Ash

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Growing Together In Marriage Ft. My Husband Ash · The Inner Beacon Podcast With Marisa

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the inner beacon.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_01: I am your host, Laura.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_01: I'm a Canadian girlmum of the field with a sonner, a flood attendant, and a certified self-level company.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_01: You are in the right place if you are ready to lead your life from to reconnect with your intuition, front yourself deeply, and reclaim your power.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_01: My goal and intention here is to inspire and empower you.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_01: And for fun, I might even add some flight attendant content and travel to evidence.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm so glad you're here.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_01: So let's dive into today's episode.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_01: Today's episode is a little different.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_01: For the first time ever, I'm welcoming my husband Ash onto the Inner Beacon podcast.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_01: You've heard me talk about motherhood, healing, business, intuition, identity, and becoming more self-led.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_01: But behind every season of my life has been someone who's witnessed it all from the front row.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_01: So this is Ash.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_01: We don't believe all the same things.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_01: We don't process life the same way.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_01: We definitely don't approach challenges the same way.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_01: But somehow we've continued to choose each other through every version of ourselves.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: So today isn't about having the perfect marriage, it's about what it actually looks like to grow together, grow through marriage.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_01: All right, how did we meet?
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_01: Let's start at the beginning.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, whoa book.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_03: And I was, I don't remember even remember what the book was called.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_01: No, you you said that's an interesting title of a book.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_03: See, it's about a book.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_01: It was called Why Men Love Bitches.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_03: I added her on Facebook.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_03: She invited me to a birthday party at Wonderland.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_03: And I said I couldn't make it.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_03: And then we were talking from ever since.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: What was your first impression of?
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_02: Well, she's pretty cool.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_01: That's true.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: Did you think that we'd end up married with two little girls?
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_03: No.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_01: When did you know I was the one?
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_02: That's like a deep question.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_01: Well, we go deep in the in our beacon podcast.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_03: I guess like we started a whole business together.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_03: We had kids.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_03: It's just like everything just came really smoothly.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_01: Everything happened very smoothly.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_03: And I think like everything we've done was been for a lack of a better way of saying it.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_03: Like we basically set like our mind to doing something and was like we're getting it done no matter what.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_03: And that's kind of been like our story.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: I did do an episode about my postpartum and how I we when we first started our business, I had not I didn't know anything about it.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_01: I just like had to take a leap of faith and trust you.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_01: And like basically you took the lead on that.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I just had to put all my faith in you because at the time I was going on Matt Leave, everything literally just lined up really, really quickly, which goes into I wanted to talk about becoming parents during a pandemic, the postpartum journey, learning each other in survival mode because we were still freshly new.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_02: Like our relationship I did all the cooking, cleaning when I was pregnant, everything else, and all she did was fold blows, and that's it, go to work.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_02: Everything else.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_02: I was abused.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_01: I would get home from work and he'd have bats with me, or like that's prepared for me, and everything.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_01: What was something you wish people understood about postpartum from a husband's perspective?
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_03: You gotta do everything.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_03: Cook, wash the car, take them to wherever doctor appointment you gotta take them to, sit in the car, bring home Oreos, whatever else they're craving.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_01: Cravings was Oreos and Crimeberry.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_03: And then get yelled at when you don't bring the right one home.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_03: And on top of all of that, you still gotta work.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_03: So yes, I was a phone.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, but for serious.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, seriously.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_03: You gotta cook.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, uh shh.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_03: You gotta cook.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_01: No, like jokes.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: We're very different, as you can see.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_03: Really, like postpartum didn't really, yes, you had it, but it didn't really.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_01: You don't remember me sitting in the car and like, why are you crying?
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_01: Why are you crying again?
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but like I that has to be hard.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_03: You're a very emotional person, but like for me personally, I'm not I'm more like a chill person, but I'm also at the same time, I'm not very emotional when it comes to certain things.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I shut emotions down real quick.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_03: That's the problem, and so I process things a lot different.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_03: You do, and while it may be like oh yeah, she's crying for like half an hour about something God knows only what she's crying about.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_03: For me, it's more like all right, what's the problem?
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_03: What like what can we do to fix it?
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_01: That that's typical enough.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_03: Like, let's take the emotion out of what the issue is so that I can actually process what the issue is.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_03: Because when you go, and every other word is like I can't process that, and it shuts my brain right down.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I had really bad post not just postpartum, but even during my pregnancy, I had really bad anxiety, really bad.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_01: Like this man's like, do I need to take you to a hospital?
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_01: Like I was like, I would like start hyperventilating and asking for ice to like cool me down and thing.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_01: But I honestly think that I'm such a fiery, fiery person, and you're like you say, you're much calmer.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that like a lot of the times you calm me down, which was something I wasn't used to in relationships when we first started dating.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you actually listened, but listened to solve and listened to like I knew that you were you weren't gonna walk away.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_03: Now I don't listen to anything.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_03: Facts.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_03: I don't even know when she told me she was coming home.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_03: I just saw her show up.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, oh nice, and then you get mad, you're like, but you didn't tell me, and I'd be like, actually, I've told you like three times we've had this conversation.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_01: See what happens is when you get married, the ears they're just there for like uh what's up?
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_01: For my earrings, they're they're just there for decoration.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes they don't work, and then you wonder where Brianna gets it from.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_01: Because I think the thing I wanted to focus on too is just like I feel like a lot of things online are talked about post-partum with women, post-partum, but like I don't think that there's enough awareness that it is hard on the guy because all of a sudden people are asking, how's the mom?
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_01: How's the baby?
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_01: Nobody asks about the dad.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_02: Well, at work, you've got how's the dad at work?
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_02: What's he doing?
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_02: Working.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_02: How's he dealing with it?
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_02: Working.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_01: You're wired very differently.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_02: How's everything going?
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_02: Working.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_02: Did they eat?
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_02: Bring home food.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_02: We're good.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_03: So, what I've noticed about me is that I have become a lot more of a communication person.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_03: Communicate a lot more.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_01: That's true.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_03: And I still find it hard to communicate.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_03: I'm still trying to learn how to do this communication thing.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_03: Because a lot of times I just be like leave me alone.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I just want to be like leave me alone.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_03: Let me figure this out in my mind.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_03: But she's all about, hi, are we gonna talk about this right now?
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_03: Can we talk about this now?
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, and then if I don't, she's gonna get like 50 texts after.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_03: But why didn't we want to talk about this right now?
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_03: So I've been learning how to communicate.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_01: And when we would get into arguments, I would like walk out sometimes and be like, why are you walking away?
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_01: Why are you walking away?
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_01: But then like I feel like now you've also learned that sometimes I need to, otherwise I'm gonna say something I regret because I'm very, very fiery.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so what's something I'm we're better at as a couple today than when we first met.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_03: We're better at driving.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_03: So we no longer have bumpers on the floor when you pull in to the house.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_03: We do have we do have mysterious scratches that do show up on the car that nobody knows how they show up.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_03: But she drives to the airport, nobody else takes the car.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_03: But hey, these mysterious scratches keep showing up.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_03: But other than that, our relationship has progressed in such a way where the better that we are with each other, I find that the more our finances increase.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm not saying it as like to make a joke and to be like whatever, and like like I'm actually being serious right now.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I find that like the better that we communicate, the better that we agree with things, the better that like we're like, okay, we're gonna do this, and we put our mind to doing something.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_03: Like, we have seen an increase in our finances over the years go from like who can afford to live on this to like they went on vacation every month last this for the summer for the summer.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_03: So it's true.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_01: Actually, I have a lot of listeners who are business owners, so like going around and talking about mindset and like the things that we've accomplished here.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_01: I think that we should talk about that because, for example, like when we first started, I had nothing, I didn't know anything about this business.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_01: But I literally had to put all my faith in you, and like Ash has been doing this kind of work since you were 16.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_03: I've been on the case.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_03: I moved from one abusive relationship to the next.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_01: His dad used to have a similar business model, and he would make him go to do all these jobs and stuff.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_01: So, I mean, like it's been a blessing because you know so much about the industry, and you also knew a lot of the a lot of I guess names in the industry, which helped us get our foot in because we started our business in a pandemic, mind you.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_03: So and we didn't struggle through the pandemic, exactly, whereas a lot of people did.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_01: And I was on that leave, and I have I had been on my own for so long, paying my own bills and like working three, two jobs or whatever.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_01: So to have all of a sudden to like rely on somebody who I just started dating because everything just happened so quickly with us, like that was huge.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_01: And like you really, really carried that, you still carry the business, honestly.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_01: And like a lot of the jobs that we've gotten even over the years has been like a lot of word of mouth or people you've met on the job and stuff, and it's just been continuously growing.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_01: Like now, when people ask me how like what it is our business, I'm like, I don't even know how to answer that.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I can name you five things, but like what don't we do is the bigger question.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_03: For real.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_03: And if we don't do everything, I know somebody who does something that we could get it done.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_01: And then on top of that, like every time that you and I have like, okay, we're gonna do this, like we we have a goal that we want to reach, like we're seeking and like both looking for different ways to do that.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_03: And I think the only problem right now that we've found with owning our business is just how to separate me from the business.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_03: Because I'm at that point where like I'm slowly at the point where I'm trying to separate myself, but it's still like it's hard to walk away.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_03: You have to like be there, and I can't walk away from certain things.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_03: And so, like, wow, like they were on vacation every month this this summer.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's our busy season too.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, this was our busy season, and this was like I can't really walk away from things because like the moment like my phone's off for like 10 minutes, I get like 50 missed calls, this, that, whatever.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_03: So it's definitely been challenging.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and then you have to find people you actually trust to go to the jobs because a lot of the times, even jobs that aren't ours that our clients have other people go to sometimes, Ash will have to go and be the one to fix it up.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_01: All the time.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_03: And the fixer of mistakes.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_01: Is there anything else that people with that are wanting to start a business or just like to be honest?
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_03: We didn't start a business with a ton of money.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_03: Like, not at all.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_01: That too.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_03: We started not alone, nothing.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_03: Like we've done everything on our own, and yes, there were some like crappy months.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_03: Not allowed to customize podcasts so trying.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_03: So there were really like crappy months, and then there were really good months.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_03: So, like, I would say dealing with the crappy months, it's very the crappy months may be really, really crappy months, but it's just like when you get through the crappy months, your better months are coming.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_03: That's literally like been us.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_03: Like, we do have like our slow months, which is like January, February.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_03: It's just been a blessing that the like the last couple of years, our January, February's have been like crazy busy.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_03: You randomly big jobs come out or yeah, but like normally our our dead months are January, February, and we're like looking at each other, like, how are we gonna get to buy this?
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_03: Like, we're for February.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_03: How are we gonna do this?
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_03: How are we doing that?
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_03: But having one person whose mind is on the business, and having the other person who's like working a nine to five or whatever the situation is, it really does make a big difference because when you do have the slower month, there's another income coming in that can kind of push you over the edge, and it's good for your taxes and everything.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_03: So it definitely is a plus.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_01: And the thing about this industry too is that like sometimes you don't get like you don't get paid every two weeks like you would at a regular job, right?
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_01: You're your own boss, but sometimes you don't get paid 30 or 60 days down the road, and like you have to sometimes be the oh, I'm that's the part I do is the invoicing and stuff, and I'm the one that's gonna be like, hey, just a reminder, right?
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_01: And and you still have people to pay, you still have an overhead.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_03: Well, that's how you know you own a business.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_03: When you have people to pay, but you don't know how you're gonna pay them, and you know you have to pay them, we've gone through that because we're waiting for jobs to sh to pay us, and they take like months to pay us.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_03: We've literally gone months without paying ourselves, just making sure everybody else and bills got paid.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_03: Like we've literally done everything, and so I can honestly say if like if you're trying to open a business, it's not a bad thing to do.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_03: I will say not everybody's cut out for like if you're thinking that you're gonna be doing your own set schedule, like the no, like your schedule is all the time because after you go home, like you still have to do invoicing, processing, whatever, getting prepared for the next day, like even buying supplies, it doesn't matter what business you do, you're never there's never a break from your business.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_03: So that's the only peace of mind that I would ever give anybody is I would never tell anybody not to do something, I would just be be prepared to work all the time to accomplish.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_01: But also don't let the bad months discourage you.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_03: There were many times that I was telling her, like, yo, I'm done.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_03: Like, let's just close up and call it a day.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_03: I'll go work at the airport with you.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_03: I'll go like go be a garbage guy.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, no, like there are really bad months, but don't let the bad months discourage you from because had we see the bigger picture, had we done that, the last two years have been really, really great.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_01: And like we've been in business what five years now?
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_03: We ran a six, yeah, five and a half.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so maybe more.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_01: But there's been times where there was rough times, like because we continued to thread the needle, like we are where we are now in a position where you know we have big goals right now.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, even during COVID, like we were able to help a lot of our friends out during COVID to like make sure that they still had like sources of incomes and everything when the government didn't give them much and they still needed to pay bill.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_03: Like, we like our business has been there to help everybody else.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_03: So it's like a blessing to see it turn around and actually help us accomplish more.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_01: And honestly, like I'm very grateful because even when I was on Matt Leave with baby number two, like I didn't have to worry.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I was shocked at what I was making on maternity leave.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I was I don't know how any single mom does it, but like, holy, if we didn't have like this business, and I like I was I was doing cleaning jobs we pregnant.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_01: But but you know, like we we made it work, and I'm very grateful because it allows me to do what I do, and even you pushing me to go into my career and everything, like everything really supports the other.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_01: All the meanwhile, you've been supporting me, you've been supporting my dreams, and you're the one that pushed me to become a flight attendant.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_01: Why did you encourage me even when nothing was guaranteed and we didn't know how I was gonna do it?
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_01: I was at a point where I had just had Abraham that she was two, and I wanted to go back to work.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_01: I want and like he knew how badly I wanted to be a flight attendant since the day he met me.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_01: But I was scared because I'm like, well, how am I gonna be away from Abrahana?
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_01: Because we only had one kid at the time.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_03: So, like, I don't know.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_03: Sometimes like people have dreams, and no one should be in the way of letting a dream happen.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_03: Like, if I think if you're able to let your partner have a dream and actually watch your partner finish a dream, then it's good.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_03: Like, then you can say that you helped and you were there along the side that person.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's very admirable because I feel like you say that a lot about everybody too.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_01: You're always like pushing people.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I I've always been that way.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I've always been the person to like push someone to get someone something done.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_03: Like I have a cousin I've done it for, like, I have friends, Marisa.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_03: I did like I've I would rather encourage people to do better than to be like stuck in something that you don't like, and then you're like complaining, or you're like you wake up and you just hate doing what you're doing, when you can be like, hey, I get to do what I love to do and keep it going.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_03: Why life is too short to be in a cycle of I hate life?
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_03: Like, move like if you could do something to help your partner enjoy life better, which is like a career that she wants to do or he wants to do, and you're in the space to do so, then I would say let them do it.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, they're hard times.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_03: I have jobs that pop up here and there, and I gotta make it work with babysitting and whatever.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_03: But like at the end of the day, she likes flying.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_03: I met her like loving to fly.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not gonna tell somebody you can't fly, you can't do your job.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_03: That's how I met you.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not gonna take away something that I met you doing.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_03: That's literally the definition of cutting their wings.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, and I think for me too, it's beautiful because then the girls also see how supportive you've been, and like if they want to do something in their dreams or whatnot, like the kids are spoiled, they travel more than I do, right?
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_01: But they also see two hardworking parents who are always thriving and reaching their goals, and I think that's really big, and I think that's beautiful to see.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_03: I have a daughter who asks for Starbucks.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_01: It's because you spoil them, and then you complain that they're spoiled.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_03: One asks for Pokemon cards, the other one asks for toys, Barbies, Barbies, girl dad, teams.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_01: But for you alone, like you've done a lot of shifts in your career because like he didn't this since you were 16, yes, but it's not what you went to school for, and you were working in the film industry for a while when we first met before we started this.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_03: I did a lot of things.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_03: I worked at the airport, I worked in the film industry.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_03: But I've also been doing what I do now forever, from since I was like 12, 13.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_03: I was my dad started the company, and I was always I'm the oldest, so I was always the one who was like out helping and seeing how this is done and what's done.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_03: So every time like, even though like I've gone to do like other things, like I went, like I was an apprentice for being a mechanic.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_03: I finished doing my program for film and television.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_03: Like I can edit films, make films, like I do script writing, but like everything has always brought me back to doing what I do now.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_03: So like I do so many different things.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_03: It's hard to even like put it into like one podcast on what we do.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_03: So like we're just basically like in the general contractor uh list.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_03: So yeah, no, it's been uh definitely a journey, and besides up and downs, but it's hey, we're here, we're kicking.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_01: What what success means now versus seven years ago.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_01: Um seven years ago we didn't even have kids.
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_03: Seven years ago.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_03: We used to be able to stay up late.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_03: We used to be able to go early.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_01: Go on actual dates.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_03: We used to be able to watch TV till four o'clock in the morning.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_03: Now at two o'clock, we have kids telling me that they want water.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_03: Now one wakes up and wants a bottle.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_03: No, it's definitely been like Interruptions.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_03: That's literally success though.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_03: All jokes aside, success is the way how I look at success is yes, I was partying seven years ago, eight years ago, ten years ago.
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_03: But now raising a family, I have a dog behind me.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_03: I have a fish tank.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_03: I have another fish tank.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_03: I have another fish tank.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_01: And another dog.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_03: We have another dog coming.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_03: It's success isn't just measured in how much money you have and however and you can afford to do this and you can afford to do that.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_03: It's also measured in like how happy you are as a person.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_03: And like to be able to be able to go to work and come home and not have to worry that um food's not gonna be there, or you're not gonna be able to go to the gas station to put gas in your car, or you have a home, you have, or like, where's your house gonna be in like seven days and whatever?
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_03: I will say, yes, we have had like tough months, and yes, we've had months where it's just like, hey, how are we doing this?
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_03: But for every how are we doing this has been like, hey, we're doing this pretty damn well.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_01: But you know what?
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_01: Like, somehow we like make it through.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_01: It's like it comes to the last minute and something pulls through, and we're just like, damn.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_03: I'll give you an example.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_03: So I needed a new hobby.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_03: Well, so I went and I got myself a car to fix, and I've been so busy working that I barely even have time to fix the car.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_03: But it runs and it drives, but it's like my vision of success.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I yes, I have a hobby and I choose to do it, but at the same time, it's like if I didn't have my full-time job or my my career, or whatever I want to call this at this point, there was no way that I would be able to find time to do other things that I like.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_01: You know what?
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_01: That's true.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_01: Like, yes, you work a lot, but you also we we do have a lot of flexibility with our schedule because now we do.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_01: Now we do.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_01: And even with me flying, like I work three days, I'm home.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_01: Six days was the most I was gone, and that was because of all those delays and things that one time.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_03: Start work at six o'clock in the morning sometimes.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_03: I start work at eight o'clock in the morning sometimes.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you're like a literal robot.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_01: I worry about your health.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_03: Like I finish work at eight o'clock in the morning sometimes.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_03: Sometimes I finish work at six months.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_01: But then there's in the morning, but then there's weeks or like a week here where you're like, uh, nothing.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_03: I know you haven't seen that this summer, but I'll be like, Yeah, I don't feel like going tomorrow, but I still don't going tomorrow.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_01: But the thing is, you can go to a job for a week and make like my whole paycheck sometimes, like it's big jobs, yes.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_03: So at least but then like jobs like that, like we have like multiple guys on site.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_03: So, like it is like it's like that's successful.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_03: Like, you have multiple guys being able to come on site to help you.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_03: You're taking care of multiple people.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_03: Like, we had a job where we had like eight people on site doing a bunch of different things.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_03: So, like my vision of success is like being able to help other people, being able to provide for their family during times like this where things are so uncertain, and you don't know like how other people are gonna be able to feed their families and whatever.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_03: So we'd like to give up, yeah.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_01: Let's talk about how I am the spiritual girly and you're the practical guy when we first started dating.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_03: You're still practical.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no, but I remember I was going, I used to go to the uh med Olivia's meditations, I think it was Monday meditation max, and she came with me to fell asleep.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_01: He fell asleep.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_01: It's just like I meditate, I process things, I journal, I talk about all this stuff, and it's literally like a huge part of the work that I do.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_01: Has anything that I've shared with you ever or like shifted your perspective in like conversation or like when we're discussing things just because of how different we are and the way we think about things?
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_03: What I do find is that I'll come to you first, even though I know I'm gonna do what I'm gonna do.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_03: I'll be like, hey, can I do this?
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_01: But that's the problem, because I'm the same way.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_01: Like when I want to do something, I like my mind's set on it.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_03: I'll be like, Can I do this?
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_03: And she'll be like, Why?
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_03: And I'll be like, oh, I'm gonna do this.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_03: But then I try to persuade her, but then sometimes I'll persuade her to the point where I don't even want to do it anymore.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_03: Then I spin it.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_03: I persuade myself out of doing it sometimes.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_01: What do you hope our daughters learn from watching our marriage?
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_03: No jumping.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_03: No, I just life is too short to be to be worrying about every little thing.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_03: Enjoy life, have fun.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_03: You're never gonna agree with everything everybody says.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_03: But yes, talking it out.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_03: One thing my mom did tell me from when we got married, I think I've tried my best to stick by it, was talk it out before you go to bed.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_03: Don't go to bed mad at each other.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_03: Like sometimes we have gone to bed like upset with each other, but it really does help to talk things out because then you wake up the next morning not carrying other not carrying baggage from the day before.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_03: Like you wanted your best to wake up and enjoy that morning of waking up.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_03: And go ahead.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_01: And it's funny because like you don't like to talk, you don't like to talk, but then like when we get to something serious, you want to talk about it right then.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes I'm like, I'm not mentally prepared, but then we talk it out.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I'm a to the point.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_03: I've always been a to-the-point person, and not a beat around the bush on how's your day?
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_03: So, like, what are we doing today?
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_03: I'm much more of like, hey, we're doing this, this is what it is.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_03: Cool, let's do it.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_01: No, but when you're on the car driving, so I've been thinking, I was talking, I was sitting here.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_01: If my car has no radio, this man leaves the house, calls me like five million times because of all the thoughts that are going on in his mind and in his driveway.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_01: See, this is so now that it has a radio, what's your excuse?
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_03: When you drive the car with no radio, no heated seat, no heated steering wheel, windows barely roll down.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_03: We had no air conditioning in my work van, nothing.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_03: But she's over here with air conditioned seats, heated steering wheel, full panoramic roof, and I'm over here struggling to get a piece of cold air in the hot sun.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_03: That's love.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_03: So, yes.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_03: Learn from me, from my kids, especially my daughter.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_03: They can't give you heated and cold seats in your car.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_03: Not from you.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_01: What do you appreciate about your partner slash your wife, me?
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, I will say this.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_03: I'm a very forgetful person.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_03: I'm a very um I'm like unorganized to the team.
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_03: I do things at my own pace, whenever my pace is.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_00: But then when you want something done, it has to be done at that same pace or right away.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_03: I'm a hypocrite.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_03: Sorry.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_00: That you want at least you can admit it.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_03: I'm still finding out a lot about myself, like growing up and getting older, and she's always been a person in my corner to be like, hey, you can do this.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_03: It's like a cheerleader, but at the same time, she drives me crazy.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_03: But uh, she's definitely motivating, she makes days interesting.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_03: Um I come home and my house smells like a church.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_02: Because of my incense.
• 30:15
  SPEAKER_03: But all jokes aside, like being in a relationship with a partner who actually wants to be a part of a relationship and wants to watch a relationship grow is beneficial for two people.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_03: And especially if your partner is your business partner, like we've been oh, like we've been at next with each other, but then we've also have to learn how to separate our business from our personal life.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_03: So, like, yes, we can argue about the business, but then when it's after business hours, like we know we're done, and then we move on.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_03: She's been really helpful with everything, she's been supportive like from day one.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_03: From the time I said that we were gonna do this business, we would have been like, okay, cool, how do we do this?
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_03: And it's just been a roller coaster of a ride.
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_03: I could say it started off as a roller coaster, and now it's for a lack of like a better way of putting of phrasing it, it's like we started off fit building one roller coaster, now like we've built the theme park, so it's like now we can pick whatever roller coaster we want to ride on, and we're gonna keep expanding and like keep going and keep enjoying life, and still having a communication where we can come and sit down and be like, hey, this is what I want to do.
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_03: Having the ability to sit down with your partner and just be like, hey, this is what I'm thinking about doing.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_03: Is this a good idea?
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_03: What do you think about it?
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_03: How do you feel about it?
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_03: What do you think we can go about growing it?
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_03: It's been a journey, and having somebody in your corner who wants to be in your corner, not for when the times are good, but for when the times are bad.
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_03: I'd never I always tell my friends and I tell my like cousins and whoever family members having someone in the corner just because you're successful isn't really a testament to yourself or the relationship.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_03: It's having that person in your corner when you were struggling and they were like, okay, how are we gonna do this together?
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_01: How are we gonna fix this?
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_03: That's when you could be like, okay, when now you get to enjoy together the successful part and and the I've made it part.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_03: And even till this day, I still won't tell you like I made it, like I still have a lot to grow, and this business still has a lot to grow.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_01: We're gonna continue to expand, they're gonna continue to grow.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_01: That's life, and there's there's never a stop.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_03: And it's always like, how do you get to the next level?
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_03: And then the next level after that.
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_03: I don't want to own the whole world, I just want to be able to be like, I did what I wanted to do and how I accomplished it, or we accomplished it together.
• 32:56
  SPEAKER_03: And then when I look back, I could be like, okay, I did this.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_01: I agree.
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_03: So kind of like to pave the way so that the kids, yes, I would love for them to learn everything, but I don't want them to have to.
• 33:08
  SPEAKER_03: I can't even say I struggled as a kid because I didn't struggle as a kid.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not gonna sit here and lie to you.
• 33:13
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, when I was younger, we grew up not financially struggling, but we did financially struggle until my parents' business got off the floor.
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_03: But then I did everything in the world that I wanted to do, so I didn't say I struggled my whole life, but then I wanted it to be where my kids know hey, they can enjoy life as much as they want, but this is how you work to enjoy your life, and that's one thing that I did, and I grew up learning, and that's one thing that I've seen Marisa grew up doing, and she's worked hard her whole life, and that's one thing I could say I admire about her, is that she's always been a goal getter, and and uh I want to do this and I'm gonna push to get this done.
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_03: If I don't know how I'm gonna learn how to do it, and I've always been uh I'm doing this no matter what because I'm gonna get like it's gonna be it, and I'm gonna get successful, I'm gonna get it done to the best of my ability.
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_01: We're not just dreamers, we're like, okay, how do I how do I get how do I do this?
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_03: She told me she was gonna buy this.
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_03: I'm still waiting.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_02: So people like and subscribe so I can get my range over.
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_01: But you should do it, and then leave reviews too.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_01: Is there anything you want to ask me?
• 34:30
  SPEAKER_03: How was your postpartum?
• 34:33
  SPEAKER_01: We're going back to the postpartum.
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_01: It was my first one was really hard.
• 34:37
  SPEAKER_01: I spoke about this on here, it was really scary.
• 34:39
  SPEAKER_01: I completely lost myself, which is kind of why I've centered my whole online stuff on that, because it was scary.
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_01: And it's it's it's the thing is like, and my message has always been the same is your relationship with yourself is number one because your other relationships around that, if you're not okay, everything else is gonna crumble.
• 35:03
  SPEAKER_01: And at the end of the day, you need to also be in your corner, you need to make time for you.
• 35:08
  SPEAKER_01: And when you come, there's an identity crisis there that happens because you're now all of a sudden, all the needs of this little tiny child is up to you, and especially in a relationship, too, you're navigating it together.
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_01: It's brand new, and like you don't have time for each other, let alone time for you.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_01: So, like making that a priority and like revisiting and making time for yourself.
• 35:34
  SPEAKER_01: That's like the core of why I'm so passionate about what I do, what I do in this space.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_01: And like I obviously cater a lot more to women because I can understand women.
• 35:45
  SPEAKER_01: I'm I am always myself and I've been through all those spaces, but that's kind of why I was asking you before about the postpartum stuff.
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_01: And like, because it's also I think that there's a lack of awareness when it comes to postpartum with men, because there is men who go through postpartum, it's just different.
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_03: So I don't know what postpartum looks like for guys or whatever.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_03: We don't really like because it's not talked about.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_03: We don't really, yeah, we don't sit around the campfire, like, hey, how is it?
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_01: But I do remember, I do remember you being like, oh well, everyone's asking about you and the baby, what about me?
• 36:20
  SPEAKER_01: kind of thing.
• 36:21
  SPEAKER_01: Like you had moments like that, especially with Abrahna.
• 36:24
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, but I'm very sarcastic too.
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_03: Well, very sarcastic for season that he is.
• 36:30
  SPEAKER_03: All jokes aside, though, yeah, there was like some days where like I was just like, damn, like ain't nobody care about me.
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_03: I'm over here like outside working, slaving.
• 36:39
  SPEAKER_01: Taking this girl to the hospital every meeting every meeting, never been in the hospital so much.
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_03: They started knowing me by name.
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_03: They're like, hey Ash, what's going on?
• 36:47
  SPEAKER_01: Literally, one of the ladies' pregnancy.
• 36:51
  SPEAKER_03: She's like, Ash, will we back again?
• 36:52
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, damn, just get my seat ready.
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_01: She's the one that told me though to go in and she would get me uh induced with If Lina because I was so done.
• 37:01
  SPEAKER_01: I was so done at the end of that pregnancy.
• 37:03
  SPEAKER_03: It literally got to the point where they had a seat ready with a cushion with a blanket.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_03: They're like, Here, that's for you.
• 37:09
  SPEAKER_03: Enjoy this first one, watch vampire diaries, yes, like the whole thing.
• 37:18
  SPEAKER_03: I went through it too.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_03: Struggles real.
• 37:21
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 37:21
  SPEAKER_01: You're over there in the corner passing out, like you were the one that gave birth.
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_03: Free the dogs, no joking.
• 37:28
  SPEAKER_03: No, I didn't like we don't really like standard, like sit around like going, like, hey, what's going on?
• 37:35
  SPEAKER_03: And kind of like talking to guys is like like it's like barbershop talk.
• 37:42
  SPEAKER_03: Like, we're just like, oh I can't cuss on here, so beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, yeah, cool, beep, beep, beep, yeah.
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_03: But so like that's basically like we're just like, all right, cool.
• 37:51
  SPEAKER_03: And then we can take a shot, we drink, like, and then we move on.
• 37:54
  SPEAKER_03: So, like, yeah, we might have gone.
• 37:58
  SPEAKER_01: Whereas there's me, where it's like, how do you feel about that?
• 38:01
  SPEAKER_01: Let's ponder, let's inquire, because I think self-reflection is huge, and like I do that with you too, because I don't think you question yourself enough.
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_03: No, because I think my like for me, and like once I have my mind made up, my mind's made up.
• 38:16
  SPEAKER_01: That too.
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_03: I'm just like, hey, I'm doing this, I'm doing this.
• 38:19
  SPEAKER_01: That too.
• 38:19
  SPEAKER_01: But there has been moments where I'm like, but babe, think about this, this, and this, and then you're like, Oh, you're right, you're right.
• 38:27
  SPEAKER_03: Like like once I've like made like that's what I'm saying.
• 38:30
  SPEAKER_03: Once my mind is made up, like this project car bought it, very dry.
• 38:35
  SPEAKER_03: It's literally sitting outside, but like my mind was made up about buying this thing.
• 38:39
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know why.
• 38:41
  SPEAKER_03: I guess I just wanted something from me.
• 38:42
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's too because you're always driving the van for work that you wanted something that was just like not so gas guzzling.
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_01: That and like you didn't we have the terrain, but that didn't feel like it was your car.
• 38:56
  SPEAKER_01: You wanted something that was your own little little side project.
• 39:01
  SPEAKER_03: So my range over sports coming soon.
• 39:04
  SPEAKER_03: But um, no, like guys do go through it.
• 39:08
  SPEAKER_03: Don't let like I don't want any guy to look at my story and be like, oh, because he didn't go through it, I don't know what this is.
• 39:16
  SPEAKER_03: Like, every guy goes through something.
• 39:18
  SPEAKER_03: I think you kind of like there are moments, like that's what I'm saying.
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_03: There might be moments for whatever this, like whatever situation is at the time.
• 39:27
  SPEAKER_01: It's like I know it's not it wasn't an issue for us kind of thing, but like I know that there's some where like postpartum the women don't want to be touched, but like there's like and then it like the sex drive goes down and whatever, and like that's a huge problem because the intimacy is gone.
• 39:42
  SPEAKER_03: So, like, there's there's a lot of different interesting we gone for a while when we have anything or anything new because of the fact of now you're sleep deprived, yes, you're on alert all the time.
• 39:56
  SPEAKER_03: You gotta make sure that you have this other life that you're trying to make sure stays alive.
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_03: Ain't nobody worrying about what's going on and what like let's get it all like anybody worry about that.
• 40:06
  SPEAKER_03: We're over here trying to make sure our kids stay breathing.
• 40:09
  SPEAKER_03: Like, we had one that used to wake up every five minutes to make and then we had another one that just was like, Don't touch me.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, two different, too.
• 40:16
  SPEAKER_01: It's weird how different both kids are.
• 40:19
  SPEAKER_03: Now they grow up, and the other one's always screaming out hugs, and the other one's like, Don't touch me, I'm good.
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so one's you and one's me.
• 40:27
  SPEAKER_03: Literally.
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 40:33
  SPEAKER_01: Rapid fire.
• 40:34
  SPEAKER_01: Who apologizes first?
• 40:36
  SPEAKER_01: I think you do.
• 40:38
  SPEAKER_01: Because I'm more stubborn in that sense, in that regard.
• 40:41
  SPEAKER_03: I apologize a lot.
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_01: Who's more stubborn?
• 40:45
  SPEAKER_01: That's a hard one.
• 40:48
  SPEAKER_03: I'm definitely more stubborn.
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_01: You think so?
• 40:52
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, you're more stubborn.
• 40:54
  SPEAKER_01: Who spends more time a longer time getting ready?
• 40:57
  SPEAKER_02: You take some 10 minutes.
• 41:01
  SPEAKER_01: Who's more likely to start a deep conversation at midnight?
• 41:05
  SPEAKER_01: Actually, it depends on the night.
• 41:07
  SPEAKER_01: Because you sometimes will come at me and you're like, what if this is I'm like, where did this come from?
• 41:13
  SPEAKER_01: Who's more romantic?
• 41:16
  SPEAKER_03: Not me.
• 41:18
  SPEAKER_03: Not me.
• 41:19
  SPEAKER_01: One word that describes each other.
• 41:22
  SPEAKER_01: Why is that hard?
• 41:25
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, that's a good word.
• 41:28
  SPEAKER_01: What's a word that describes you?
• 41:30
  SPEAKER_01: Not a robot.
• 41:32
  SPEAKER_01: Not robot.
• 41:35
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 41:36
  SPEAKER_03: That's not really like whole Apple product.
• 41:40
  SPEAKER_03: That's crazy.
• 41:42
  SPEAKER_01: Supportive.
• 41:44
  SPEAKER_01: Very supportive.
• 41:46
  SPEAKER_01: I can't say enough.
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_01: I'm very grateful because you never ever you're always like, okay, do that, do that.
• 41:53
  SPEAKER_01: Like anything that I come at you, even if you don't understand it, you're just like, Yeah, babe, do you.
• 41:59
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, do you.
• 42:00
  SPEAKER_03: It's like, don't let me stop you from letting your dreams come true.
• 42:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 42:04
  SPEAKER_01: And like sometimes you even come in and you're like, actually, that's a good idea.
• 42:07
  SPEAKER_01: And you could do it like this, like this, like this, and you'd give me your input.
• 42:11
  SPEAKER_01: But honestly, like, I think I'm just so grateful at like the life that we've built, and like that I had faith and that we've like built everything that we have, and that I'm able to do my job that I love.
• 42:22
  SPEAKER_01: I'm able to do my online stuff.
• 42:23
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you give me the space that I need for me.
• 42:28
  SPEAKER_01: So, one thing that I've learned, what I've learned is that growth doesn't always mean growing in the same direction or at the same pace.
• 42:35
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes it's simply choosing to keep walking beside each other while each person becomes more of who they're meant to be.
• 42:43
  SPEAKER_03: Sometimes you gotta look at it like this.
• 42:45
  SPEAKER_03: You ever hear the sky's the limit?
• 42:47
  SPEAKER_03: Well, sometimes you're gonna hit a roof.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_03: Sometimes you just gotta go back downstairs, get out the front door, and then hit then the sky's the limit for you.
• 42:55
  SPEAKER_03: So, like, in such a way of framing it is if some if something you're doing and you're not happy doing it, and you feel like you've done all you can do and you just reach the top level of doing whatever, sometimes just take a chance and just do something new, and you might find that new doors and doors will open up for you that you didn't and you wouldn't have imagined opening up for you, where you can be like, hey, this is a new sky, and now look, I'm climbing more than I was before.
• 43:28
  SPEAKER_03: So, like going through like a new door and reach and seeing that there's a bigger sky out there for you to climb.
• 43:32
  SPEAKER_01: There's always gonna be opportunity, it's up to you to take care of it.
• 43:36
  SPEAKER_03: It's always out there.
• 43:38
  SPEAKER_03: If you have a good partner, there's always gonna be opportunities to grow, to do things, to enjoy life.
• 43:46
  SPEAKER_03: Sometimes owning a business means the first few years may not be like you may not be able to go on vacation together.
• 43:55
  SPEAKER_03: Or you may not be able to do this, or you may not be able to do that.
• 43:58
  SPEAKER_03: But at the end of the day, it's Is after you've put in your hard work and when you do get to go on your vacation, together you get to enjoy it better.
• 44:06
  SPEAKER_03: And then you get to enjoy all the aspects of life.
• 44:09
  SPEAKER_01: Fruits of your later.
• 44:11
  SPEAKER_03: I think anybody looking to join a business, anybody looking to do something with your partner, sit down with your partner and be like, hey, this is what I want to do.
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_03: And talk about it.
• 44:24
  SPEAKER_03: Just be honest with each other.
• 44:28
  SPEAKER_03: Even if you guys drive each other crazy.
• 44:30
  SPEAKER_01: Make a game plan.
• 44:31
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that's one of the things that was made me the most nervous at the beginning is like sometimes you can have a business with your partner and it could be scary and could like bleed into other parts of it does.
• 44:42
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 44:43
  SPEAKER_03: Like even like being frustrated with things and very money motivated.
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I'm not gonna lie and say I'm not people, but like if you tell me like if you want to go on vacation or if I want to work and make like this job and do whatever, I'm gonna choose the job because sorry guys, vacations are always gonna be there.
• 45:07
  SPEAKER_03: For me, I look at it as vacations, we're always gonna be they do so many a year, like one vacation, we're okay.
• 45:15
  SPEAKER_03: But all jokes aside, like I try to put myself in a position where when I do take vacations, I don't have to worry about how bills are getting paid, how people are getting paid, how are we gonna eat for tomorrow, how are we gonna do this, how are we gonna do that?
• 45:32
  SPEAKER_03: Like, if I take a vacation, it means that like we're doing really well.
• 45:35
  SPEAKER_01: And you want to be a smart change.
• 45:37
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, like my vacation time is January, February, where like I can chill out and do whatever you want to do.
• 45:42
  SPEAKER_03: If you want to sing kumbaya by a fire, we can do that, like ain't no problem.
• 45:47
  SPEAKER_03: So that's kind of my mindset.
• 45:50
  SPEAKER_03: That's kind of like how I operate, where she's just more like free spirit.
• 45:53
  SPEAKER_03: Like, I'm going to Vancouver for a weekend, I'm gonna go sing kumbaya with my family.
• 45:58
  SPEAKER_03: Hi, and I'm just like, I go, like, have fun, and so like it's cool having like both sides because then both sides get to see the how balanced things are.
• 46:12
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm not saying she's a spendaholic because that's not what I'm saying, but it's just more of just like she's just more of the I want to take the kids to enjoy life and see other parts of the world, and I'm just like I want to make sure the kids have funds to be able to see the other sides of the world, and so that's how we operate.
• 46:37
  SPEAKER_01: There's gotta be balance.
• 46:39
  SPEAKER_03: There is anything that you do with your in your relationship, anything that you do in life, there always has to be balance.
• 46:46
  SPEAKER_03: Like you can't like the scale can't tip one way all the time.
• 46:50
  SPEAKER_03: Like there has to be like a little give and take of everything.
• 46:54
  SPEAKER_03: And I think throughout life and then throughout relationships, like there is give and take in everything that you do.
• 47:00
  SPEAKER_03: Like sometimes you gotta give up like maybe like a month of just like fun so that when it's the season to have fun, you have the means and you can enjoy it better, and it's not just like oh well, we did this already, like cool.
• 47:14
  SPEAKER_03: Like it's just like something that you can enjoy better with your family.
• 47:23
  SPEAKER_02: I just want to put this on record that this is the most I've ever had to talk.
• 47:28
  SPEAKER_01: And this is the longest episode I'm gonna have.
• 47:30
  SPEAKER_03: And this is the most that I'll probably talk for the rest of the month.
• 47:36
  SPEAKER_03: Thanks for having me.
• 47:37
  SPEAKER_01: You're welcome.
• 47:38
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks for being on my podcast.
• 47:40
  SPEAKER_03: Like and subscribing.
• 47:43
  SPEAKER_01: And on that note, good night.
• 47:50
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for spending this time with me here on the inner beacon.
• 47:53
  SPEAKER_01: If you're not already following me, you can find me on Instagram at immarisa.xo.
• 48:00
  SPEAKER_01: And if this episode resonates, spread the love like you wouldn't know by sharing this podcast and tagging me so that I can personally thank you.
• 48:08
  SPEAKER_01: And if you are feeling extra loving, leaving a review helps light up another beautiful tool and supports the growth of this community.
• 48:15
  SPEAKER_01: I am so glad you're here.
• 48:17
  SPEAKER_01: I'll meet you on the next episode.