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The Brutal Truth About Time, Legacy, And What's Left · Voices for Voices®

• 0:01
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Hi everyone, it's Justin here, Voices for Voices.
• 0:05
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Thank you much for watching and listening here in the United States or a territory, province, country uh outside of the United States.
• 0:20
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh, we're grateful to have you with us.
• 0:22
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: You can give us a big thumbs up, like, follow, subscribe, share, reshare, repost, and even reach into your phone and share the voices for voices podcast with maybe 25, 50, 75, or 100 of your contacts.
• 0:44
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh, you won't be disappointed, and your contacts will not be disappointed as well.
• 0:53
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And we wouldn't have a show if it wasn't for you.
• 0:56
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So thank you for tuning in.
• 0:59
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Over 530 episodes.
• 1:03
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Just uh just a true miracle that uh we've made it this far.
• 1:11
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So thank you for making the show what it is.
• 1:14
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Thank you for the demand, the watching and listening.
• 1:19
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We're just so grateful to have you have you with us.
• 1:24
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: It's just uh it's a big blessing to um to know reaching so many people, helping so many people all on our journey to reach and help at least three billion people over the course of my lifetime and beyond.
• 1:49
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh, so thank you again, and we're gonna jump into this particular episode of the show.
• 1:59
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh, how's everybody feeling?
• 2:02
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I I guess I I don't know that if I've ever asked that.
• 2:11
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh hopefully we're feeling feeling good, feeling okay.
• 2:19
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Uh, that's one of the questions that my uh my therapists and psychiatrist, they asked at the very beginning of our appointments.
• 2:34
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: How are you doing?
• 2:35
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: How are things?
• 2:36
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: How are you feeling?
• 2:39
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And easily you could say, Oh, I'm feeling great.
• 2:47
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Well, you can hear in my voice when I say that doesn't really sound like it that it's great or good, or not, and that's probably why why it's one of the questions that gets asked.
• 3:10
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: How are you doing?
• 3:11
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: How are you feeling?
• 3:13
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And then many years ago, I I would say, Oh, I'm feeling good, and then as soon as you know, we walk back to the office and start the appointment, and then almost everything I would talk about would be something stressful, uh, something that is not good, not great, not excellent.
• 3:52
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And I just had to take myself back to that point just now.
• 4:02
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And then once I bring myself back to where we're at now, I'm more not say more honest, but I I'm more likely to say really what's how things are going.
• 4:27
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Again, it's easy to say, oh, things are going good, things are great, yeah.
• 4:32
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: But now I say not good, not great, could be better, and then when things are okay and good, then I say that, but I don't say it just to get the conversation started as I as I used to.
• 5:00
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And I think it it's helpful um not just for you know when when we go for therapy and and all those things, uh it is helpful for us to be true to ourselves, to be true to ourselves as well.
• 5:32
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I mean, while while I I don't wake up and go, how are you feeling, Justin?
• 5:41
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I don't do that.
• 5:44
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We can be a little more truer, nose itches, uh a little bit truer to ourselves when things aren't going great, when we need a little bit of a break, we need a rest, we need to you know step away from the work, the projects.
• 6:15
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Doesn't mean we're stopping forever.
• 6:21
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: It just means that I need a day off.
• 6:26
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Like I go to the gym two days in a row, and then I take a day off.
• 6:36
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I think there was one time I went three days in a row and then took a day off.
• 6:45
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Sometimes our mind I don't know what's the saying, our eyes are bigger than our stomach.
• 6:58
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Like if we're we we see a lot of food and we're hungry, we we order more food than what our our body can digest at a particular time.
• 7:29
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: While our eyes are like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 7:34
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I can eat I can eat this and that, and I'm starving and not you get the idea.
• 7:44
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I'm not not poking fun at because there are people who are actually starving.
• 7:54
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: For me, when I say that, it just means I'm very hungry.
• 8:01
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Or if you were to say that.
• 8:07
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We see food, we smell it, you know, oh maybe it's lasagna, maybe it's a pizza, maybe it's a sub sandwich.
• 8:23
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Could be any number of things.
• 8:31
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: But again, we sometimes are untrue to ourselves in those instances.
• 8:48
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: There's also a saying probably shouldn't go grocery shopping when you're hungry because we might buy more things than we need because we're feeling hungry, like this particular food.
• 9:09
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Again, I'm hungry, so yeah, I I'll definitely eat that, I'll definitely eat this, and it all comes back to the same thing, being true to ourself, and not letting those fluctuations take us on the journey that isn't really true.
• 9:46
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Like we may be hungry, but doesn't mean we can eat all these types of foods and all of um you know, all these desserts and and and all that brings us back to with you know the mental health or any doctor appointment, or any appointment, any conversation.
• 10:24
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: How are things going?
• 10:27
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: How are you doing?
• 10:31
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: As I mentioned before, when I'm at the gym, like I just want to work out and get out.
• 10:39
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I I I see individuals who they may sit and stand and talk for ten, twenty minutes.
• 10:55
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Nothing wrong with that.
• 10:58
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I just realize that that's just not me.
• 11:04
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Like I'm there to work out, I'm there to do the exercises, the I'm there for a specific reason.
• 11:17
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I don't do great with the small talk.
• 11:22
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Just don't.
• 11:29
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And I think that's why when I get to a therapy appointment, whether it's a therapist or whether it's a psychiatrist or n nurse practicing psychiatrist that I kinda get to the point.
• 12:02
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I used to think it was a flaw of mine Like sometimes people would say Well, they're not being they're not being mean to you, they're just asking how your day is.
• 12:30
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Again, how's it going?
• 12:32
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: How are you?
• 12:37
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: My mind uh I my mind just doesn't do well.
• 12:46
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: With with the small talk, I It's taken me a lot of years to figure that out.
• 12:58
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Number one to figure it out, and then number two be to be okay with it to stay within myself.
• 13:18
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And that that's hard to do sometimes to stay within ourselves.
• 13:26
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We may watch or listen to a show or people in public and but again I I have to do what is familiar to me, and so every day I'm working on it, it's not to be mean to other people, I mean if there's an outgoing person or an extrovert, like I said, they'll have they could have a conversation for 10-20 minutes, and I look at that as time wasted, that I really want to get my get my workout in and get out so I can get the day started or continue the day.
• 14:37
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So I think remaining focused is a big deal.
• 14:48
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: It's when we're chasing the shiny object or the shiny conversation.
• 14:59
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And there's nothing wrong with having those conversations, none at all.
• 15:12
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: But I gotta stay within myself.
• 15:18
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: What helps me the most and that could change day to day by, you know, how we're eating, how we're sleeping, among other things.
• 15:44
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So it's not a one size fits all.
• 15:50
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: It's not sometimes it could seem like that, maybe to the outside world.
• 16:03
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Like, well, that one I was talking to Justin one time.
• 16:07
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: This is how the conversation went.
• 16:10
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And then I saw him again a different day, and it was much different.
• 16:20
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Well, that that that's kind of how it goes.
• 16:29
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Well, I haven't been technically diagnosed with bipolar, it's one of the areas that I think at given times, I can go from way up here, happy, feeling validated, feeling confident to down here of what's this life for.
• 17:18
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Maybe it's not bipolar, I don't know.
• 17:23
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: It it just feels at times where it's a roller coaster.
• 17:29
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: It's up and then it's down and up and then it's down.
• 17:38
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And so all we can do is do our best.
• 17:52
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I like the one yoga instructor I had a lot of years ago.
• 18:02
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And he went around the room and was asking everyone who is there about like what's yoga what's yoga mean to them?
• 18:25
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Some people were saying, you know, kind of like to be in perfect harmony, something like that.
• 18:36
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And what the instructor was looking for was to try to be as close to being in balance.
• 18:54
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Right?
• 18:55
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Like imagine if you're able to standing up and then lifting one leg up and you're trying to balance on the leg that it is uh is planted on the on the ground.
• 19:22
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So we're just trying to find like that equilibrium that being in balance and so when we have those conversations about mental health, I think that's really what we're we're searching for is how can I get closer to being in balance in equilibrium and not worry about oh well I messed this up, I screwed this up, I did great here, I did bad there at the end of the day, we're gonna look back and kinda say, was I being true to myself?
• 20:55
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Was I being true to myself?
• 21:04
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Or was I trying to please somebody else?
• 21:14
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I'm trying to be true to myself the best that I can.
• 21:46
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: But no matter what the adversity is, what may seem like an impow what may seem like an impossible feat, not feat at E E T F E A T.
• 22:07
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: What may seem like I don't know how I'm gonna get through this.
• 22:12
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: That's where having a higher power really helps.
• 22:19
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Doesn't make everything great, just helps a little bit.
• 22:31
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Because we're able to put our faith in something that's bigger than us as an individual.
• 22:42
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Because even if we have a street named by us, a building named by us.
• 23:01
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I mean, there's only so many things that can happen like that.
• 23:12
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And then what?
• 23:19
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Then what?
• 23:21
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: It's a little bit like I was thinking a couple days ago.
• 23:32
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Yeah, you can't bring your can't bring your money, you can't bring your treasures with you when we leave this heavenly earth.
• 23:42
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Or when we leave this earth.
• 23:46
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Yeah, I'm a lot I can make mistakes.
• 23:48
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We all do make mistakes.
• 23:52
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So we can't take take those things with us.
• 24:08
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And so maybe we should spend a little less time dwelling on them.
• 24:22
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And lastly, I talk about having a university building named after us, our family, a road, a street named after us.
• 24:42
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Time comes and time goes.
• 24:48
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: The exile.
• 25:46
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: On that list, Tom gets X'd out.
• 25:56
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And when we send cards, we address it to Jerry.
• 26:10
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Because Tom's no not living on Earth anymore.
• 26:19
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So that's the exile.
• 26:23
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: It's gonna happen to all of us at one time or another.
• 26:33
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And you might be thinking, oh yeah, that makes sense.
• 26:37
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: It does make sense.
• 26:43
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: But that's what we that's what our minds go to when we have too much time, when we're not occupying it.
• 27:07
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Another name that's gonna get X'd out, crossed out a line through it.
• 27:16
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: However, however, we want to think about it.
• 27:24
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: But each holiday season comes on that list.
• 27:37
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I hope not, but more than likely there's gonna be somebody throughout the year that passed away.
• 27:55
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And so they get X'd out, crossed out.
• 28:04
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So to wrap it up, we should we should just be true to ourselves.
• 28:09
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We should be up front.
• 28:11
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We go to therapy.
• 28:14
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: How are you doing?
• 28:16
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I'm doing great.
• 28:17
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: I'm not doing great.
• 28:21
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: There's no need to try to say, oh, we're doing great, and then like I said, then I would sit down and then I would just go for 50 minutes on all the different things that aren't great or aren't good.
• 28:42
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Well if I would have just started it like they're not that good.
• 28:50
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Could have got to the got to the point much quicker.
• 29:06
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And we're all gonna be X'd out at some point.
• 29:16
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: You know, I go to the cemetery we're dead uh not just around holidays, but for this example, you know, there's holidays.
• 29:41
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Drive through the sanitary and see flowers here and there, and it seems like there's more that don't have flowers than those that do, and that's part of what kind of makes me feel sad because that person or that person's have been X'd out, and maybe all their family has been X'out too as time goes on.
• 30:52
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So there's nobody there to visit, nobody there to take flowers and it makes me feel sad.
• 31:20
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So while we're on earth, let's do what we feel like we're called to do.
• 31:35
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Cause again, none of us are getting out of this alive.
• 31:45
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We're just not tit.
• 31:56
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: There's a finite amount of time that we're gonna live on Earth.
• 32:11
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And at the end of that time, we're gonna be exile.
• 32:23
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So be you, be passionate.
• 32:33
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Be a person of conviction.
• 32:43
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Do what makes you happy and legal.
• 33:00
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And let's try to make those worries as small as possible.
• 33:05
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Make those dreams as big as possible.
• 33:11
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: So thank you for joining us on this episode.
• 33:14
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: If you give us a thumbs up, like, follow, subscribe, share, reshare, repost, reach in, light your phone, share the voices for voices podcast with 25, 50, 100 contacts in your phone.
• 33:36
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We greatly appreciate it.
• 33:38
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We would greatly appreciate you.
• 33:41
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And you can find the Voices for Voices podcast anywhere you get your podcast.
• 33:54
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And if you are able to, we do accept donations that are here in the United States 100%.
• 34:04
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Tax deductible because Voices for Voices is a 501c3 nonprofit charity organization.
• 34:14
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: You can do that at lovevoices.org.
• 34:20
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Lovevoices.org.
• 34:24
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Lovevoices.org.
• 34:28
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Until next time, Justin Allen Asking off.
• 34:34
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Celebrate, all the voices in the world.
• 34:37
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: And let's be a voice for ourselves and those in need.
• 34:44
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We'll see you next time, everybody.
• 34:46
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Stay safe.
• 34:48
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: We're signed in love and support to you and yours.
• 34:53
  Justin Alan Hayes, Voices for Voices: Bye bye for now.