Latest / The Wellness Esquire Podcast: Happy, Healthy, Successful Lawyers / Choose Love, Not Fear: Emotional Resilience & Burnout Prevention in Law - with Elizabeth Garvish

Transcript

Choose Love, Not Fear: Emotional Resilience & Burnout Prevention in Law - with Elizabeth Garvish · The Wellness Esquire Podcast: Happy, Healthy, Successful Lawyers

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Wellness Esquire podcast.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Ariella and I'm so excited for you to listen to this conversation with Elizabeth Garfish.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: Elizabeth is an immigration attorney, entrepreneur, and founder of what she calls the happiest law firm in America.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: She leads with the core belief of happy team, happy firm, happy clients, and she truly builds her entire practice around it.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Elizabeth and I talk about her past to law school and her early years in environments where she not only felt like she didn't fit in, but where others made it clear they didn't believe she fit in either.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: We talk about the moment she calls the free men in suits, a performance review where she was told she didn't belong.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: And it wasn't about her work ethic or her work quality.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: It was about her.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: It was about who she was, her personality, her clothing, her authenticity.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: As painful as that was, she chose to see it as redirection.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: That experience ultimately pushed her to start her own firm and build something different.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: A law firm rooted in alignment, love over fear, and honoring people's strengths.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: We talk about how perfectionism and people pleasing once guided her decisions and how she learned to tune inward instead.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: We talk about some of her bold choices, like calling off a wedding, becoming a mother of two sets of twins on her own, facing unwarranted bar complaints, and more recently moving her entire family to Spain because, as she would say, the vision had been calling her for years.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: We also explore how happiness and well-being aren't soft concepts in law.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: They directly impact performance, client outcomes, and leadership.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: Elizabeth shares how regulating your nervous system, shortening your refractory period, detaching from outcomes, and choosing love over fear can transform not only your personal life, but your legal strategy.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: She believes lawyers don't need to be stressed or miserable to be effective.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, she would argue the opposite.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: And her successful law firm shows she's really on to something.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: This is a conversation about intuition, surrender, resilience, and redefining success.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's about listening to that quiet inner voice instead of the loud external noise and proving that practicing law can feel purposeful, creative, and joyful.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: Elizabeth stands out for the intentionality and love with which she lives her life.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm so grateful for her for sharing her story so openly and for the way she shows us what's possible.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for listening and enjoy.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for doing this.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: I know we had I I'd mentioned to you when we, I think when we first connected, whenever that was, that I was gonna do this, and then I hit pause and here I am back.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: I'm doing it.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: And obviously need to talk to the person who's building the happiest law firm in America.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to start with what led you to law school in the first place?
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: And as much in a nutshell as is possible, how did you end up doing what you do now?
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, I feel like we're always we're on this journey of self-discovery, like from the moment we're born.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_01: And we might get our cues from like the outside of us, or if we're lucky enough to like start getting the cues from the inside of us, we'll probably get on our correct path faster.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_01: So, like law school for me was just I'm an achiever, a perfectionist.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I'm reformed now, of course.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_01: I'm definitely like probably the most laid-back person you ever meet.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_01: Like, people are like, How are you doing that?
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just like, I just I just surrender.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_01: Like my world is like everything I do is just surrender and detach.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not attached to any of that.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_01: I'm right here in the present.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_01: But law school was like, okay, I'm in, I graduated from college, or we're, or it's just all that pressure to achieve, and you know, I was I when I was um we moved from like Indiana to Texas when I was, I don't know, just entering high school, and it was a very small town, and um I in a and and the school just wasn't, I was like, I felt this urge inside of me, and this now I'm continuing to understand what that urge is or that voice.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_01: You gotta go to boarding school, like you can't be here.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_01: This is not your path, Elizabeth.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like 12, you know, this is not your path.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: You gotta get out of this town, this place is not for you.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_01: You shouldn't be graduating from school here.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_01: You need to go, you need to go at to ask your mom.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_01: It's like mom, I'm going to the American school in Switzerland.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_01: And so we didn't quite end up going there, but I went to a school in Dallas, Texas, like a very, a very good private school that had a boarding department that was like an amazing, like, you know, and so it was kind of like still understanding I have a voice, not really understanding that, but also like mostly getting my cues from the outside of me.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: Gotta get good grades, gotta go to college.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: What are you gonna do after college?
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what do you you better go to, you know, what I maybe the voice was telling me was something different, but I wanted to please the outside.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: So, okay, I'll just go to law school, maybe that'll be good.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm 21 years old, end up going to law school, and kind of discovered at law school that um I don't know if this is for me because I later on, much later on, I was on continued on my journey of self-discovery, and I was using some of these tests, you know.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, okay, well, I've heard of all about these tests like Clifton Strengths, and especially for me, but also for my team.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_01: Co um the Colby test.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: Um, there, you know, all of us need to say, Oh, what are what's what who are you?
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_01: What are you really good at?
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I turned out to be a positivity number one, Clifton Strengths.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: But, and I was researching a little bit about kind of how the law field is, I mean, it's pretty negative.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_01: We have to look for everything bad.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_01: We're constantly like, we do good if we look for bad.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_01: And so my journey in law school was like now I look back at it, I'm like, I'm a positive positivity number one, but in law school, like pessimists win.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_01: And they actually did an experiment at the University of Virginia about this.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_01: So um, that's how I ended up in law school, and I almost didn't.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_01: I I graduated and I was like, I don't know if this is for me.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_01: I almost went to Chile to teach English, but I I managed it.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_01: I took the state bar of Texas, and I did take a year off to go and study language and kind of work abroad, and then I came back and got my first job in immigration.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: So walk me through those first few years of practice and your experience in in law firms and and specifically talk about um how how you did or did not fit in in those environments.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_01: So I felt like back then it was, you know, there wasn't there were a few maybe women-owned law firms, um not not a ton.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_01: Like it was, you know, it's still like that today, but um, you know, I felt like, you know, I I literally when I got my first job, I the only interest that I had was speaking Spanish.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_01: And that's how I was that I'll apply to jobs where I can speak Spanish because I was really interested in languages.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_01: And um, so that was my first job, and I was like, my eyes kind of opened up in that first job.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, I saw I started to see what we were doing for clients, and like we got to meet with the people, we got to do like to do something for them.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_01: We we were helping a family.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_01: We're not only helping maybe a business, we're also helping a family, and we're giving them a better life.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, I don't have to fight with another lawyer over whatever divorce or a litigation matter.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_01: I can advocate for someone and I can change the world that way.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, this is for me.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_01: And so that was that was really great.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_01: But I stumbled along in a few different places, like a small boutique, and then I went to a nonprofit, and then I, you know, the first the first like three jobs I had, and then I just kind of you know worked in another small law firm, and they were all the the thing that was in common were were these kind of men bosses that were, I don't know, not not exactly like let me help you, let me lift you, you know, I'll like help you rise.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_01: And it wasn't I didn't feel a lot of support.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_01: Like I I have said after that that and even when I got to the big law firm, like I did actually decide to go to like into big law and learn business immigration.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_01: I moved for the job, and I had really I had two great bosses, but the majority they would not care if if I was hanging on a ledge, they would not, they would step on my fingers before they lift me back up because it just wasn't it wasn't the thing.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_01: And I get it, I mean, like that's okay.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, they wanted me to do, they weren't interested in what I was good at, they weren't interested in my strengths, they were interested in getting me to you know do what they wanted me to do.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_01: And what I found in having my own law firm is that when you look deeply into the people that you have, and we have a core value happy, happy team, happy firm, happy clients.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_01: So when our team is happy, when they're leaning into their strengths, when they feel seen and heard, then they're gonna do better for our clients.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's kind of this this effect.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_01: But that wasn't back when I started, that really wasn't the thing.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_01: We weren't really seen as as individuals with strengths that we should develop.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_01: We're seen as I need you to do this.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_01: And and the other thing that I, you know, was kind of a a thing that happened a lot of times, the suppressing of, you know, like even my self-expression of like style, or I had to look a certain way, and I had to, and I'm you know, and I I always had a unique style and all of that, but I would I would find that I was getting criticized for that.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I'm not I'm not face, I'm not going into court.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe I'll go to immigration, but so it's just interesting, kind of this like control and um putting people in their place, and and I see that as a theme throughout like probably corporate America, but definitely big law.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_01: And I wanted to do something exactly different from that in my own law firm.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: So were there specific instances that happened that led you to realize, oh wow, this is really not the environment for me.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: I gotta get out.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: I don't necessarily know what out, you know, what looks like after I get out, but uh this can't go on any any longer.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_01: My dad was a doctor but an entrepreneur as well.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_01: And he owned his always, you know, he he was probably a Colby quick start, nine like me.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_01: So he's gonna say yes before he knows the end of the question.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_01: He's gonna, you know, take bold moves and go and do things and make his own destiny.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_01: And so I knew that was probably in the cards for me, but fear holds you back a lot, pleasing those around you, security and safety, and um so the biggest thing that happened to me, and I'm so grateful that this happened to me.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that all these things that we equate or define as bad are not necessarily bad because they have to happen in our journey to get us on that right direction, on that aligned path that we need to be on.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's why I just don't get upset too much about things like, oh, you called up your wedding, oh you got fired.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, no, those are those are things that are supposed to be happening because there's something so much better for you.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_01: You're you've got it, you're down the wrong path.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_01: And if you stay there, you're you're not, it's gonna, you know, you're not gonna get to where you're meant to be.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_01: So I call this story the three men in suits.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_01: Um we merged into a much bigger law firm.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_01: I was at like a I was at a boutique, not not, it was like a boutique-y big law, so probably 200 lawyers, but we merged into a much bigger one that was nationwide.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_01: And so I had new supervisors.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_01: The the lawyer that hired me, and then he then I moved to Atlanta because I was in South Carolina, then I moved to Atlanta, and I had two um bosses named John that were just, and my dad's named John, and they were parental or fatherlike, they were caring, they were thoughtful, and you know, those two out of um all of the people that I worked for like always stand out, you know, and and the way that they showed up, and and you know, I'm we moved into this bigger law firm and I had different supervisors.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's time for our review um with these new supervisors.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I'd been meeting um with one of them and you know, going through my cases.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_01: I'm handling big cases, I'm actually bringing in a lot of business because I didn't uh I didn't understand that I'm actually a rainmaker.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_01: I'm a woo Clifton Strengths too.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_01: So I can bring in business, like I'm really good at connecting with people, and I don't know, it's just like you either got it or you don't.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I think you can learn some of these, but if you've got that strength, it kind of is hard for it not to come out.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and and so they slide this review on the way to the before I got into the room, it was three men in suits.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_01: So through the managing partners and whatever.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_01: And my direct supervisor stops by the office.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_01: He says, Yeah, your your review's gonna be really bad, but you're just gonna come right back here and keep working.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, what?
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_01: I just yeah, I was like, that's crazy.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_01: And I was just like, okay, let me it upset me, but I I go in there and I thought, wow, I'm I'm doing great.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_01: We just got all these approvals and I brought in all this business, and they're gonna be happy.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_01: And and um, because I I know the reality.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it's it's a numbers game.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_01: It's like you're you know, you see, okay, I filed this many cases, they're approved.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I brought in this much business.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_01: It's not like it's it's something else, but so they they've kind of tossed this review over to me.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_01: I hadn't seen it in advance, and it I still have it.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_01: It's like all ones.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_01: Five is good, one is bad.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_01: Scribbled chicken scratch handwriting does not fit into the group, does not fit in, you know.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_01: That was kind of the theme throughout.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, you know, does bring a modicum of you know, new business into the firm, but very downplaying any any good, because you could say, wow, you're good at that.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_01: Let's help people support you in that.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_01: And oh, let's see what you're good at and let's do this.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_01: But no, they they were like, you know, you need to change.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_01: You are not the skills that you have are not what we want.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_01: You don't fit in with us here.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, okay.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_01: And I just I didn't think any of that was true.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm like, they're just liars and they're just lying, and they just don't care, and they're just shoving around and bullying, basically.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and you know, to get me to either leave or just submit.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know, I wasn't fired or anything, but you know, I was like, oh my gosh.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_01: And and so I was like, wow, I don't know, because you want to join a firm where you share the core values of the firm and that people act in those core values.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_01: And so I just didn't feel like I was connected or aligned with them.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I don't use those words, but I didn't use those words, words back then, but now I'm like, yes, alignment, like you you meet people and you're just like, oh, this feels so good.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_01: And so yeah, I just I was like, I can't stay here.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_01: I want to I want to be around people that I admire and aspire to be like, and like that are you know, inspirations and and mentors to me.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_01: And I didn't find any of that.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_01: The two Johns were kind of like in another city and retiring, and so I didn't have them anymore.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_01: And so I was like, well, this isn't my place.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_01: So, you know, that's when I went on this path.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_01: I just got all my, you know, I had to advise all the clients that I'd brought in that I'm leaving, and the majority came with me.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_01: So I was able to start a mini practice because I first all went to another law firm and then eventually start my own practice.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_01: And I had, I didn't have to like just get the clients.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_01: I already had, I already had clients.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_01: I had I had hospital clients, I had huge clients.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um and I was able to to get going really fast.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_01: So that wasn't a problem.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I think I think in in our in our growth as lawyers, you know, you know, driving revenue and getting clients and all that always kind of comes in as you go to the next level.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_01: But to start out, it was that wasn't an issue.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_01: And and I was really like, just what kind of what kind of firm do I want to create?
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_01: And and I was like, yeah, I just want to, I just want to be happy.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_01: I want people to quit bugging me about what I'm wearing.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_01: I want to do this amazing work that I I love to do.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_01: I want to help people and just not be bothered with the stuff that does not matter.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_01: We are so busy trying to create this image, this social, or we're so busy mandating that people wear this social mask.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_01: You can't be you.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_01: You have to be this person.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_01: And it's so heavy and it's so hard.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_01: And how are you, you know, you can you can barely breathe all day at work, and then you have to go home and like take off your mask, and like, you know, it's just it's just not true.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I think now in our firm, I mean it's it's energy, you know, and and not that ever not everyone's always aligned with us forever, you know.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm not saying, oh, yes, come here, everyone's included.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_01: No, you got to be in in the frequency we're in, um, and aligned with our values, and not everyone is where we are we are supposed to be.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I think you know, you've got and that's just part of having running a law firm, but the people that are here are are very aligned and you know believe in our core values and the core message, and and we feel this energy because it's it is love.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it is literally the highest frequency, and we care for each other in a deep way, and you know, even when we have to give feedback or we have to let someone go, it is in the loving, most loving way, you know, and I think even with clients, there's a little tough love you have to give sometimes too, but I think that's if we if we always instead of fearing retribute retribution or criticism or that clients not gonna, they're gonna not fire me, we're gonna show up in this loving way and choosing, you know, that that frequency.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_01: And so I mean, I look back at those three men in suits, and I'm forever grateful to them for telling me I didn't fit in and and kind of forcing me to make another choice and get on redirected on my truly aligned path.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's why I say sometimes things that we define as bad are are not bad.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_01: Things are really neutral.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, like it's it's in every situation.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I I know there are atrocities that happen, there's horrible bad things, and so it's very hard to figure out why, you know.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_01: But there's always usually a way.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, from the worst things, and you're gonna you're gonna find I call it finding grace.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_01: You're gonna find grace.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_01: And imagine if every day we were we we thought of grace as a person, like grace is on the way.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_01: We don't know now.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_01: It seems really bad right now.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_01: We don't we can't imagine how what could be behind any of this, but grace is on the way and it's gonna show up for us, and we're gonna figure that out because you know, this journey of life is you know, it's not all, you know.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_01: I I I always say I did a little talk for my entrepreneurs organization, kind of a TEDx type talk, and it was choosing love over fear.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_01: But if we choose love consistently, which is a frequency and energy we can feel, instead of fear, in and fear is also a frequency and energy we can feel.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_01: And if we know how those our body feels when we're in fear, and we know how our body feels when we're in a loving place, then and we consistently kind of maybe not choose the safety because we know that's that's just fear talking.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_01: Let's choose that loving path and maybe be bold and be brave.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_01: And then, you know, that that is also called the miracle frequency.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_01: So the love frequency is 528 hertz or higher.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, they've found that this frequency, if you listen to it, can repair DNA and and um and just yeah, I want to create miracles, I'm gonna choose love.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I know that's not how we were trained as lawyers, and it's a new way of thinking, but in my personal life, I feel like I figured out a bit of a formula for creating miracles.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_01: You might call it like manifesting, or you know, like, and it's about changing this energy and detaching, almost like surrendering, like I'm just in constant surrender, you know.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_01: And what if we could apply this formula for miracles to our law practice and our cases where we change this energy?
• 21:58
  SPEAKER_01: So that's kind of what I'm experimenting with.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_00: So you have this goal of having the happiest law firm in America.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_00: What's the impact that you can see with your with your colleagues, with your employees, um, and with your with your clients even on you know the impact of happiness on work product and the way people show up.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, in in law, we don't tend to really think a lot about, you know, the connection between well-being and performance and the connection between happiness and performance and how those things fit into success ultimately and even what we consider success.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_00: But you have this really strong focus on happiness, and not just because it feels good, but you also see the impact on what you're putting out there for through your law firm.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I mean, I didn't, I mean, I didn't feel happy.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_01: I I wouldn't be a lawyer anymore if I had to work in the field the way it was.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_01: I did not feel happy.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_01: And I started on a search for how can I be happy?
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, no one cares about my happiness, except for, you know, maybe my mom and dad.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_01: But like I'm the one that is going to create my life.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_01: I have to find the hap, you know, and you know, I definitely want everyone around me to be happy, but I'm I want to be happy.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_01: Like I have this one life, and that's and I I want to do this for me.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I I I embarked on this experiment.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_01: I had no idea.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_01: I just started researching and like like searching.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_01: And and then I would, you know, what I I've come to do now is I ask for signs.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, you can pray, you can, and even even the way that we tend to pray, um, and the way that we've been maybe trained is oh, we have to be humble.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_01: Do we deserve it?
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_01: Are we worthy?
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_01: Like this whole idea of just, yes, we deserve everything that the highest level of things that we can dream of.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_01: Why are we like, you know, shrinking ourselves with guilt and like unworthiness?
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_01: And why are we talking to ourselves, especially women, and the ways that we talk to ourselves?
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not good enough, um, I'm a failure, no one likes me, I'm fat.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you wouldn't tell your best friend those things.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I I I found that when I shifted, like, and it it took me a while to to really like this journey of letting go, this experiment of um, you know, being happy because I want to float through the world, I want to walk through calmly in peace through the hurricane that is life.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_01: Literally, we see the chaos going on.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_01: It is not up to me to like punish or teach people or you know, yeah, I don't know, like get horrified over everything and just get my nervous system all wrapped up.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_01: It is, and this is a a new lesson I learned.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_01: I went to an ashram this this summer.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_01: I was like really having a hard time with, I mean, compared to normal people, not as bad, but for me who stays in a pretty good place, I was just I was getting like bothered and horrified and not understanding.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_01: I felt like I was gonna, I still feel this sometimes.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, if I stick my hand through like this other dimension, it's like something is off, you know?
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_01: And and then I I I figured out through like some breathwork meditation that um it is not up to me to like be horrified by all of this, like constantly, like to constantly be in that state of stress, to constantly be fighting, to constantly, it is up to me to rise to my highest frequency, show up in the highest level of love, show people how you should do this.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_01: Number one, because I have to stay calm and in peace, and it's only me who's gonna create that.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_01: Now I have my team, I have my children.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and and there's there's a method to that madness to weaken us through these horrific things that are happening in the world and in our country, and they want to weaken us.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_01: And I I need to be fortified and strong.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_01: And I actually talk to clients and I say, listen, we just got to get fortified right now.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_01: I I'm not gonna tell you everything that's gonna go wrong, but you just gotta get strong, you gotta get your energy right and start gathering information.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_01: Let's, and I have a lot of amazing like immigrants come to me, maybe they're you know, they're students.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, these these students are just spectacular, they're juggling so much, and and I just, you know, I've got to remain fortified.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_01: And so if I remain fortified and I remain in that loving space, then I'm not giving in to any of that.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_01: Like, because none of that, this present moment, none of that's going on.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_01: If I if I hold on to this horror or horrible things or you know, injustice that's happened in the past or a denial in a case, and I just hold on to it and I'm blame and guilt, and it's not it's I'm not gonna be functioning in my present and my future in the right way.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_01: It's hard to let go of things that fast, but Joda Spenza talks about a refractory period.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_01: So when something traumatic happens, you like like you know, we have this reaction.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I think about it like this.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_01: And then on my exhale, I that could be over for me.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_01: And then I'm on to the solution.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes things really bad happen.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_01: My refractory period, I might need like pizza or ice cream, or like I just might need to lay in my bed and watch Netflix or just hug my kids or something, or walk around the neighborhood.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you need more time, but thinking about like I'm gonna limit the time that I'm gonna be in that in that state because things are gonna happen.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_01: And as I said, we're we're gonna define them as bad, we're gonna let this past kind of hold on to us.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_01: It's gonna weaken who we are and our ability to create the future that we want.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_01: So, I mean, it's up to us to stay present and um you know, not not allow all of that to happen.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I I truly believe there's a there's a great book, um, Florence Scovel Shin, and it's the game of life and how to play it.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like two hours to listen on Audible, but she wrote it in 1925, and it's about you know our thoughts and this energy that we keep.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_01: And and then she talks about some of the spiritual laws, which I was like, oh, that's so cool.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I there are spiritual laws out there.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_01: There's um and karma, karma is there, you know, what if what you put out will come back.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_01: And so if I put enough love and goodness, and I don't know how or whatever, and it's not like I need, I you know, I actually feel amazing when I'm doing something for someone else.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't always deplete me.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I've got to take care of myself, but if I do something good and I protect or help someone else, that's just not gonna take away from me.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_01: It might actually make, you know, make me even more abundant and more happy.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_01: And I think we're in this loop of of believing that, you know, if we do anything good for each other, it's gonna take away for us.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_01: If we protect someone, it's gonna take away from us.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_01: And this idea of karma, you know, and everyone out there is kind of spewing all this this judgment and hatred.
• 29:36
  SPEAKER_01: And I feel it really, I feel it a lot right now.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I don't have to do a thing because you will get what's coming to you at either in this life or the next.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_01: Like it will come back, and that's what that means.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_01: Like, so but it's my job to put as much good into the world um as I can, you know, and and love myself.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, don't be a pushover.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I I am I believe in tough love, I believe in being firm about things, and I believe, you know, I'm not gonna have a lot of emotion around certain things, but um, you know, so love is the answer, honestly.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_01: And and I think if we think about things in a different way, we're just so busy reacting all the time, we're in fight and flight, and we're not able to really create.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I I feel like the political situation, it's it's and then the media coverage is geared to keep us like in that high state of you know, um, bait high beta brain wet, where we're just like, ugh, you know, we're all just always on, and then that's for a wellness aspect, that's not good for you.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, you just can't, you can't maintain, you know, that's only for when you need to run from a lion or when you have to, you know, those are for short spurts of time, which is important, but we're not, but we need to really, you know, regenerate, and that's why meditation is wonderful, and I love doing meditation because you know, I can through the frequencies and through like going to nothing, I'm like going to a different state of consciousness.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm not even thinking about I have my intention, but I'm going to nothing.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_01: So I can like become, you know, more connected.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_01: And um I feel like every time I do a meditation, I I think about who who do I want to be when I wake up, you know, who and this is Joe Dispenza, who's a wonderful teacher.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_01: Um, who do I want to be?
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I want to be this, this, this, and this.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I wake up and and I almost believe that I am that, you know, or I do believe I am that.
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_01: Like I am become I have to become what I want before I, you know, I tell my clients, I am what you put after those words, so important, you know.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_01: And even for any of us, because they've got to get, you know, I and I tell my clients too, how are you gonna feel when you get your green card?
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_01: Joy, happiness, relief, like um excited, start feeling that emotion now.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_01: You've got to walk into the the future that you want.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_01: And if we focus on what we don't want, if we are allowing our nervous system to be weakened by the outside environment, then we're not we're gonna be farther away from our um our goal.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_01: Because fear is a frequency that is very slow, and we can't get a lot accomplished if you look at it like an energy wave, you know.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_01: And love is a faster frequency, like if you look like an ocean wave, but it goes very fast, and so that's what Joda Spenza teaches.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you have you are able to put information into the wave, which we are all energy, like everything has a frequency, you know, like my T.
• 32:50
  SPEAKER_01: Um, if we have you put information at the point of rest.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_01: So if you have an energy wave that goes like this, you've got like a point of rest here at the peak, down here, down here.
• 33:01
  SPEAKER_01: So you can only say, I have my green card, I'm happy, I'm met the man of my dreams, I'm you know, healed or whatever.
• 33:08
  SPEAKER_01: You have this, you only put the energy in at those points of rest.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_01: If you're at like, you know, physical matter, the slowest form of energy, or at a fear state, or you know, down in your vibe.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_01: If you are like meditating and like you raise your frequency to a higher where where your energy wave is like so many points of rest, then you've got you can put information in.
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_01: I I have my green card, or I am a green card holder, I, you know, I am I am a mother, I am, you know, uh whatever, all the things that whatever you want.
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, a lot of people try to heal themselves through in those higher frequencies.
• 33:45
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I think that's a science about it.
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, because we are all energy, um, whether we like it or not.
• 33:51
  SPEAKER_01: We're a bunch of vibrating at cells and atoms, and and and those, you know, the more ordered and the higher the frequency that we walk around in, um, or can access through like meditation and other states of consciousness, like breath work, the more we're gonna be upgrading who we are, and we're able to, you know, increase our our well-being.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_00: You you live your life with so much intention now, and you're really designing your life and your career, and you're so in tune with yourself.
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, this, you know, you're you're next week moving to Spain with your family, and you do these things that um, you know, other people might, you know, you share that people say to you, you know, you're so brave, you know, you you left, uh, you were gonna get married, and you realize, nope, not the person for me, not the right thing, not gonna do that.
• 34:45
  SPEAKER_00: You have you have two sets of twins that you have on your own.
• 34:51
  SPEAKER_00: People have thought that's incredibly brave, and it is.
• 34:55
  SPEAKER_00: And now you're moving your whole family to another country, you own a law firm.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 35:03
  SPEAKER_00: What allows you to make these decisions and just feel so solid in them when, you know, especially when you look at so much of what happens in certainly in our industry, but also just in our culture of, you know, people, it's so easy to simply get stuck on autopilot and to just think, well, this is what I have to do, and no one, you know, everyone's gonna look at me weird, or no one's gonna understand, or we get all these fears and judgments.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_00: And you don't worry about any of that stuff.
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_00: You just tune in and decide this is what's right for me.
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_00: Here we go.
• 35:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I mean, I think that inner voice that told me you need to go to the American school in Switzerland, it was always there.
• 35:45
  SPEAKER_01: I just didn't, and I I did listen that time, you know, back when I'm a kid.
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_01: It's always been there.
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_01: We I haven't like now I'm just I'm just listening more.
• 35:55
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm listening more to my inside than to the outside.
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_01: Believe me, my mom was like, What what are you doing?
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_01: I've been dreaming about going to Spain and having my boys be in school there and then now the girls.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I love I love the Spanish culture.
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just I'm so into that.
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I want to, you know, I want to my language learning and all the things.
• 36:20
  SPEAKER_01: And and I just I was dreaming of being a mom, you know.
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_01: I was dreaming, I wasn't always like dreaming of like getting married.
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, that would be great.
• 36:30
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, really mean, but I'm like, where did it because sometimes you've got to get still to figure out where those things are coming from?
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_01: Is it coming from the outside of you?
• 36:38
  SPEAKER_01: Are you trying to please someone else, or is it coming from the inside of you?
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_01: Like, and when you can really, and that's is it coming from fear or is it coming from love?
• 36:50
  SPEAKER_01: And when you can kind of tune in and just get still, that's why people we're so busy.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_01: Run, run, run, run, run, do, do, do.
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_01: When we get still, and and Deepak Chopra has, he's, I think he has a book.
• 37:03
  SPEAKER_01: It's called The Seven Laws of Spiritual Success.
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_01: Like, it's when you're still, even the slightest intention can be heard and reverberate around the universe.
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_01: When your head is full of all of this, you couldn't hear the Empire State Building fall into the ocean, you know.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_01: So it's it's um it's been a journey of progression.
• 37:24
  SPEAKER_01: Like, let me just, but there are certain things that there was no way I was so, and and I did in my little talk about I I talk about this.
• 37:35
  SPEAKER_01: I wanted to be a mom so bad, but I had a plan in place.
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I I I was it was based on perfection, based on how it looked to the outside, based on doing everything the way I was told to do it.
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_01: And I couldn't break free from that.
• 37:52
  SPEAKER_01: Um, it was I was even too scared to do anything.
• 37:56
  SPEAKER_01: And something happened, like really bad, actually.
• 38:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I mean, and I talked about it on LinkedIn about like I was I was working, I was basically took all my cases to another law firm and was working there and supposed to, you know, I was ready to go.
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_01: I had my I had team that was lawyers that were leaving with me, were ready to start a new law firm.
• 38:16
  SPEAKER_01: I just moved to Atlanta.
• 38:18
  SPEAKER_01: I wasn't quite ready to start my own law firm, and I just needed a place to land after I left the big law firm with all these cases.
• 38:24
  SPEAKER_01: And so they were not happy, and they just it's you can go to LinkedIn and read about it, but they filed all these bar complaints against me and they said, and since they they said I broke into their office and stole their files, I was like, I just was moving out, you know, like, you know, I just crazy.
• 38:45
  SPEAKER_01: And they were harassing me with all this.
• 38:47
  SPEAKER_01: I'm members three state bars, they filed all these complaints, nothing to do with any client work, nothing to do with any of that.
• 38:53
  SPEAKER_01: They were just saying, you broke into our office, you stole just making up a bunch of stuff to hurt you.
• 38:58
  SPEAKER_01: And so I was like, how am I gonna, you know, I cried every day.
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_01: Supposedly this person was supposed to be a friend.
• 39:05
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, it wasn't, and and at this point, I I kind of was really like, you know, I had to get lawyers to like help me through these bar complaints and like go through the whole process.
• 39:19
  SPEAKER_01: And um eventually I um I forensically investigated them, and there's like a lot of bankruptcies and like one bar reprimand and some other things and foreclosures, and I just sent like a stack of papers to the bar, and like that ended everything because they would we would they complain, then you rebut, then you respond, and you it's just like harassment through a state agent licensing agency.
• 39:46
  SPEAKER_01: But so that was right like when I first started the new law firm.
• 39:49
  SPEAKER_01: Like I was just moving 14 years ago, and um and I was so scared that you know, to even like explore going to the doctor about like could I, you know, freeze my eggs or do what was I gonna do, you know?
• 40:04
  SPEAKER_01: What was that even look like, you know?
• 40:06
  SPEAKER_01: And when this when this all ended, um basically it all ended with no violation.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, whatever.
• 40:16
  SPEAKER_01: But I I was like, I had the file that I used in my computer to hold all of this documents and stuff was labeled Satan.
• 40:25
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, oh yeah, I just defeated Satan.
• 40:28
  SPEAKER_01: I can I can have a baby by myself.
• 40:30
  SPEAKER_01: And so that started my journey to go and have a baby.
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_01: Now, of course, there's other journeys that happen, like things don't always just get miraculous, you make that decision, and things just don't get like miraculously better.
• 40:46
  SPEAKER_01: Or it's not like you don't have other obstacles in the way, but you know what's meant for you.
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_01: And now, you know, of course, I can thank those people for my four children, basically.
• 40:55
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, definitely for the twin boys, because I they gave they showed me the strength that I could have.
• 41:01
  SPEAKER_01: So I think sometimes when bad things happen that we think maybe are bad things, they're just to kind of put a mirror in front of you to show you what you've got inside.
• 41:10
  SPEAKER_01: And and then so now I'm like, I for I've forgiven completely the three men in suits.
• 41:17
  SPEAKER_01: These other people, like I'm like, you're forgiven, and I love you because you helped me get to this point.
• 41:23
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I have my own law firm, I have these beautiful kids.
• 41:25
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know, would I have been brave enough if I did if everything in life was just so easy, or I just was stuck to the plan and just kind of let it flow and just didn't didn't take that bold action?
• 41:36
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 41:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but yeah, I mean, with the with the having and then having the boys, you know, I finally got pregnant with the twins, and that was a journey, and and I didn't know, you know, like what's it gonna be like?
• 41:50
  SPEAKER_01: And is everyone gonna think that I'm just weird and crazy, like some like a feminist who's like doesn't need men, or no man ever wanted her, or something crazy.
• 42:00
  SPEAKER_01: It was that all going through my mind, you know, when I'm like pregnant with the hormones, and and it wasn't like that at all.
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_01: Like everybody was like, wow, that is so cool.
• 42:09
  SPEAKER_01: Like a hundred people came to the hospital, and you know, like everybody was just like, oh my gosh, that's so amazing.
• 42:16
  SPEAKER_01: The world transformed from black and white to a technicolor because I took a bold move because I went against my plan.
• 42:24
  SPEAKER_01: I went, I I let the fear go.
• 42:27
  SPEAKER_01: I chose love, I chose that inner voice that was calling me.
• 42:33
  SPEAKER_01: Same thing with the girls.
• 42:34
  SPEAKER_01: I literally was like in the hospital with the boys.
• 42:38
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, I'm supposed to have a girl.
• 42:39
  SPEAKER_01: I'm supposed to have not a girl, maybe, but I'm supposed to have another baby.
• 42:42
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, that's crazy.
• 42:43
  SPEAKER_01: This voice just kept going and going, you know.
• 42:46
  SPEAKER_01: And so that got me, you know, finally five years later, I was like, all right, I'm gonna call the doctor.
• 42:52
  SPEAKER_01: I had four embryos frozen on ice.
• 42:55
  SPEAKER_01: Turned out they were all girls for the genetic testing, and then I went on a whole nother journey to get them, which actually really taught me how to create miracles.
• 43:03
  SPEAKER_01: Um, because I was backed up against the wall in a lot of ways with that that process.
• 43:08
  SPEAKER_01: But I I also was constantly asking for signs.
• 43:12
  SPEAKER_01: So, like prayer or meditation, or like if you ask for a sign from God, the universe, your higher self, like your guides, whatever you want to call it, it will show up for you.
• 43:24
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, they the universe wants what you want, God wants what you want.
• 43:28
  SPEAKER_01: Like, there's there's so much, like it's like all of that.
• 43:32
  SPEAKER_01: We I think of it as a scale, like we're down here, and then that is pure love, wholeness, order, like just everything, you know, everything that we dream is up here.
• 43:43
  SPEAKER_01: And they can't quite, they're they're at such a high frequency, they can't communicate in in words with us.
• 43:49
  SPEAKER_01: So they have to show us their signs or this feeling inside, this direct divine line, you know.
• 43:56
  SPEAKER_01: So I think after the girls came.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_01: And then I was even scared to even do the Spain thing, but I was it was calling me.
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, I like write in my journal, or like this is happening.
• 44:07
  SPEAKER_01: Everyone knows.
• 44:08
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, you've been talking about that for a long time.
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, I have okay.
• 44:13
  SPEAKER_01: So I just had to get brave.
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, you just, you literally just created miracles.
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_01: You know the formula, just do it.
• 44:19
  SPEAKER_01: And March, end of March, begin like mid be end of March, I started that journey of gathering information, figuring out the school, figuring out a place to live, and just always surrendering, you know, surrendering to everything.
• 44:32
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, it's so hard to find an apartment in Madrid.
• 44:34
  SPEAKER_01: You're never gonna find a place.
• 44:36
  SPEAKER_01: Like they're always really fast.
• 44:37
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I'm gonna find the perfect place.
• 44:39
  SPEAKER_01: I want to find the perfect place.
• 44:41
  SPEAKER_01: And then, you know, the last place we looked at was like off the market.
• 44:45
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah, it was like it's what I saw in my dream.
• 44:48
  SPEAKER_01: So I think kind of playing around with like, you know, ourselves and and and the inner us.
• 44:57
  SPEAKER_01: And and I even when I called off the wedding, you know, I was like, you know what?
• 45:01
  SPEAKER_01: I've been trying to please everyone on the outside and make everything look perfect because I had the two boys.
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, well, I better have a man here.
• 45:07
  SPEAKER_01: I gotta get married.
• 45:08
  SPEAKER_01: This is so important, you know.
• 45:09
  SPEAKER_01: Not that I he was, I like, I loved him, but but I was like growing at this rate that was not, it was we were, I was growing in that journey, and it was didn't seem right.
• 45:21
  SPEAKER_01: Like literally, I woke up one day, I'm getting married, and like by the end of the day, I'm not because I'm like, no.
• 45:27
  SPEAKER_01: It's like that that voice was right there.
• 45:30
  SPEAKER_01: And I think if we don't listen, if we listen, um we're gonna be on our right path, you know.
• 45:35
  SPEAKER_01: But we gotta be, it's they call it awareness, you know, we got to be aware, not just blindly on autopilot, like you said, which a lot of people are, and they just they, you know, they're hypnotized by the world or by the media messages or like this, but they're not like listening to the most important message inside of them.
• 45:56
  SPEAKER_00: You've made such incredible strides to now you're at a point where you really don't give much credit, if any, at all, to external validation.
• 46:05
  SPEAKER_00: You listen to yourself, you do what's right for you.
• 46:08
  SPEAKER_00: But even with that, you know, I'm I'm sure, you know, there are people out there who would hear how you how you live and what you talk about and you know, everything around meditation and spirituality and um, you know, frequencies and all of these sorts of things.
• 46:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm sure there are people who would go, yeah, that's not that's not part of the league.
• 46:30
  SPEAKER_00: We we don't do that in law.
• 46:31
  SPEAKER_00: That's weird.
• 46:32
  SPEAKER_00: That goes back to what you were talking about, you know, with when you were in big law and they said, You don't fit in here.
• 46:38
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you wear bright colors and you have a style and all of those things.
• 46:44
  SPEAKER_00: So have people made comments about like, what, you're a lawyer?
• 46:48
  SPEAKER_00: How can that be?
• 46:49
  SPEAKER_00: This doesn't line up.
• 46:50
  SPEAKER_00: And and even if they if they were to, would that impact you at all?
• 46:54
  SPEAKER_00: Or what would you do with that?
• 46:56
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I use my refractory period, you know, I like don't let it bother me that long.
• 47:01
  SPEAKER_01: Like I always set my, you know, I like set a limit if something upsets me.
• 47:05
  SPEAKER_01: It does, you know, things do, but I like I'm very good at getting over something really quick and getting to the solution.
• 47:12
  SPEAKER_01: Like something happens with a case.
• 47:14
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I it's literally like, all right, you know, breathe in, freak out for a minute, breathe out, it's over.
• 47:22
  SPEAKER_01: What's gonna happen next?
• 47:23
  SPEAKER_01: You have to have a clear head.
• 47:24
  SPEAKER_01: You can't be living in the past, you can't be in blame or guilt, you've got to figure that out and you gotta believe in possibility.
• 47:32
  SPEAKER_01: Don't believe in like, you know, believe in what you want to happen, what you feel like is right.
• 47:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but yeah, I just don't care what anybody thinks.
• 47:41
  SPEAKER_01: I I mean, I guess, I mean, it's what what I've found is when you when you walk when you're aligned with who you are, like you kind of in a loving way.
• 47:52
  SPEAKER_01: It's not like you just you kind of if you're raising your frequency, like you you lose a f some of the people.
• 48:00
  SPEAKER_01: Um, like, and they may, I'm sure they're like, who does she think she is?
• 48:04
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't hear it.
• 48:06
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's like the dog, you know, like they can only hear certain like frequencies, and like you blow that whistle and they can hear it, but they can't hear, I don't hear it.
• 48:16
  SPEAKER_01: I it's not because the inner voice is so much louder and much stronger than anything.
• 48:24
  SPEAKER_01: And like what I've learned is that I better listen that inner voice because when you listen to that, because I've seen the results, and like it's so aligned, it's so, it's just pure love.
• 48:35
  SPEAKER_01: It's like when you do that bold action, when you take that step, and you know, yeah, it might be there might be some difficulty or whatever, but you just and you surrender, you kind of I like this idea of like the perfect unfolding of what is meant for you, and you're excited and you're in this, you know, beautiful place, and it the goal is not to please those around you.
• 48:57
  SPEAKER_01: The goal, I am the one person in my life who a hundred percent wants to make me happy, and that wasn't the way it was for many years.
• 49:05
  SPEAKER_01: I was busy making everyone else happy, and I deserve, I'm worthy of a beautiful, happy life, and I'm gonna listen to that voice within me.
• 49:16
  SPEAKER_01: And it's not like I don't make mistakes, of course.
• 49:18
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, bad things happen supposedly, and I may have made a mistake that seems like a mistake now, but I don't know what's gonna happen in the future.
• 49:25
  SPEAKER_01: Grace is on the way, you know.
• 49:27
  SPEAKER_01: So, yeah, I mean, I just there was a moment, I just remember it very clearly because I was like, I'm just gonna go have these two girls, I'm gonna get well, I didn't know it was two, but I was like, I'm gonna go have a baby again by myself.
• 49:38
  SPEAKER_01: People are gonna think you're crazy, you know, and I don't care what you're doing.
• 49:43
  SPEAKER_00: You're okay with it.
• 49:44
  SPEAKER_00: Not my problem.
• 49:46
  SPEAKER_01: I just don't care.
• 49:47
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, like, I remember um I was reading this um article.
• 49:53
  SPEAKER_01: So, like one of the first people that was doing IVF, like she had triplets in in the maybe in the 90s or 80s, I don't know.
• 50:01
  SPEAKER_01: Um, she had triplets and um and they were saying she's gonna go on welfare.
• 50:06
  SPEAKER_01: How can a single woman do that?
• 50:07
  SPEAKER_01: And like this is so, you know, and and um they just they put her through hell, and all of her kids are like they're in scholarships, they're in college, like they're doing amazing.
• 50:18
  SPEAKER_01: She was thriving, and um, and she's a pioneer, you know, to do that.
• 50:22
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I'm not I'm not saying like of course we need men.
• 50:25
  SPEAKER_01: I have two boys, like, yeah, of course, we want to have beautiful relationships, but there's more than one way to create a family, you know.
• 50:32
  SPEAKER_01: But I feel like we we are very stuck in that that one, and we have science, we have love to do that.
• 50:38
  SPEAKER_01: Thank God for that, you know.
• 50:40
  SPEAKER_01: Um, because the souls that I need to have as my children need to get here some way, you know?
• 50:49
  SPEAKER_01: And I think I really truly believe that the perfect souls are lined up to meet you at the right perfect time.
• 50:56
  SPEAKER_01: And and it just, and it is so true.
• 50:59
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it's just like, how are yeah, I I can't even believe it.
• 51:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm just like, wow, I am so like fortunate to like, I'm so glad that I was this brave, you know.
• 51:09
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so glad that I just walked through these uncharted territories.
• 51:14
  SPEAKER_01: I faced like I faced moments of like, wow, can't will I even be a mom?
• 51:19
  SPEAKER_01: Like just just like on the floor.
• 51:22
  SPEAKER_01: I faced bad news from doctors, I faced all these things.
• 51:26
  SPEAKER_01: And so that journey has taught me the most and about anything, you know, and and also I know how to create miracles.
• 51:40
  SPEAKER_01: Let me just apply this to the practice of law, you know.
• 51:43
  SPEAKER_01: Let let's let's start creating for our clients, let's start getting in there and like using our energy, like, you know, what's within us, listening, getting still, and like, you know, I think about things, you know, and I've had a case, I've had cases where um, yeah, I've had cases where every other lawyer is like, don't do that.
• 52:05
  SPEAKER_01: You get coming from fear, don't do that.
• 52:07
  SPEAKER_01: That's not good.
• 52:08
  SPEAKER_01: You can't, that's no, no, no.
• 52:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, no, I feel like this is the only way for this client, you know.
• 52:13
  SPEAKER_01: But they're they're doing their job as lawyers.
• 52:15
  SPEAKER_01: They're looking at like all the worst case scenario.
• 52:18
  SPEAKER_01: And um, and with that case, I was like, no, I'm I had to send one of my clients out of the country, and there's risk involved.
• 52:29
  SPEAKER_01: There's always risk involved in anything.
• 52:31
  SPEAKER_01: But I was like, this is the right thing for you.
• 52:33
  SPEAKER_01: I researched, I'm like, there's we can hold on to this.
• 52:36
  SPEAKER_01: I'd rather have you outside than than in if there's going to be an unlawful presence bar and a lot of things that could have happened.
• 52:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um, he got his green card already.
• 52:44
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, he got that visa, he got his green card already.
• 52:47
  SPEAKER_01: What the advice that another lawyer gave him was like, stay, just stay in the country and like wait for the immigration to give you temporary protected status.
• 52:55
  SPEAKER_01: And then he never got that temporary protected status.
• 52:59
  SPEAKER_01: Like he would have been in a what way worse situation.
• 53:02
  SPEAKER_01: And and I I but I was so like, I was, you know, I knew this was what we needed to do, but then you you're like, oh my gosh, I don't know.
• 53:13
  SPEAKER_01: Am I making the right decision for my client?
• 53:15
  SPEAKER_01: And he's ultimately makes the decision.
• 53:17
  SPEAKER_01: I just give the advice, but I I used a lot of mental visualization and this the piece that is surrender.
• 53:25
  SPEAKER_01: I'm detached from the outcome.
• 53:27
  SPEAKER_01: If he's stuck there, I'll get him back.
• 53:30
  SPEAKER_01: I just I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna dive deep into all the negative.
• 53:34
  SPEAKER_01: And that that surrender piece, that detaching from the outcome is like probably the hardest part of creating um results that you want, but it's it's the part that's so essential.
• 53:47
  SPEAKER_00: If a lawyer listens to your story and then reached out to you and said, everything you said spoke to me.
• 53:55
  SPEAKER_00: I, you know, feel like I I don't feel like I fit in with you know where I am because I am more spiritual and I, you know, I want to be in an environment where my well-being and my happiness matters, and but I don't even know who I am right now.
• 54:09
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, and I I know something needs to change, but I I don't even know where to start.
• 54:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I understand mindset is a big part of it, and tuning other people out and tuning in, but what would you tell that person they can do?
• 54:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like just an action step tomorrow or today.
• 54:27
  SPEAKER_00: How do they begin designing their life to fit them?
• 54:31
  SPEAKER_01: So I I do get this for a lot of clients, you know.
• 54:35
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I mean, because I'm I'm talking to them about energy and like we're because we're creating together and we have to be doing that.
• 54:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I mean, I think I I'm doing a CLE.
• 54:46
  SPEAKER_01: I've done a CLE already, but I'm doing a CLE.
• 54:49
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and it's gonna be every month next year, and it's kind of like applying the spiritual laws, and then hopefully I'll get into it like a training, but I think it's that first step on that journey of self-discovery, like getting still within within yourself, and and and and I think like one big tool that you know it's getting to that awareness place, not being just on autopilot.
• 55:18
  SPEAKER_01: Are you getting your cues from the outside or from the inside?
• 55:23
  SPEAKER_01: Um are you acting out of fear or out of love?
• 55:30
  SPEAKER_01: And like kind of understanding what how those two things feel like.
• 55:35
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it may take many people just want to rush through everything and just like don't ever have time to like sit.
• 55:43
  SPEAKER_01: Or I mean it could be, it could be a meditation, it could be a walk, but it's literally like um, you know, I have cli I have colleagues like, oh my gosh, I don't know what to do.
• 55:54
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I need to, uh I have an employee who's not, you know, not performing, and I I it's just like, what should I do?
• 56:01
  SPEAKER_01: I don't like should I keep her, you know, get rid of her or whatever.
• 56:06
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, you already know your answer.
• 56:09
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 56:10
  SPEAKER_01: It's within you.
• 56:11
  SPEAKER_01: So like I think if we start to like get still, there may be some like layers that we've gotta peel off, you know.
• 56:20
  SPEAKER_01: I think there's there may be something that's covering up.
• 56:24
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, we might have to experience some of that that pain or that trauma and like let go of some of that, um, heal from some of that um before we're like deeply into our heart.
• 56:36
  SPEAKER_01: I just got a cold call yesterday from this guy from like a legal software company, and and he was like, I guess they do interviews with lawyers.
• 56:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I'd already actually done an interview with their company and um they wrote an article, but he didn't realize it.
• 56:51
  SPEAKER_01: And and I just started talking, you know, I picked up the phone and I was like, oh, what's this?
• 56:55
  SPEAKER_01: You know, and and then we started talking talking, and then and I was talking about how I normally talk.
• 57:00
  SPEAKER_01: He's like, Oh, do you know someone named Joe Dispensa?
• 57:02
  SPEAKER_01: And he's like, I went to a retreat and and I um like I was I was having some health problems and I they did these healings, and um, and I felt all this love because all the people were kind of meditating and there, they went to their state of consciousness and like they were loving this person.
• 57:21
  SPEAKER_01: They were just feeling in their heart and their brain the intention of like healing or ultimate love for this person.
• 57:28
  SPEAKER_01: And he's like, I felt something in my heart that it opened up and like now I walk with this heart, like always.
• 57:36
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Oh my gosh, who are you?
• 57:37
  SPEAKER_01: Like a cold call sales guy.
• 57:39
  SPEAKER_01: But um, because I've been to like a bunch of retreats with Joda Spence, I've been through all that.
• 57:44
  SPEAKER_01: I'm in a healing group and everything.
• 57:47
  SPEAKER_01: But like it's that if we can, you know, get our heart open, like stop protecting ourselves, like open up our heart, like start loving, maybe do it with baby steps, you know.
• 58:00
  SPEAKER_01: Just start, you know, start there, but getting aware of like, and I think the simplest way is like, is it fear or is it love?
• 58:09
  SPEAKER_01: And if like every action you take, I if there's like door A is love and door B is fear, you know what fear feels like, you know what love feels like.
• 58:17
  SPEAKER_01: Walk through door A when you have to make the choice.
• 58:20
  SPEAKER_01: If like staying in that office that you hate and and doing mind-numbing work as a lawyer is not feeding your soul, and you don't feel like totally like loving to yourself and feel like the highest version of yourself, maybe it's time to walk through that another door.
• 58:38
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe you're staying there because oh, the salary is great, or I have to, you know, I'm afraid of what will happen.
• 58:43
  SPEAKER_01: What if I can't find so you just you gotta kind of sit with yourself?
• 58:47
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes these are these are hard things to do, you know.
• 58:51
  SPEAKER_01: For me, I sometimes have to listen to that voice a lot, and it's it gets louder, it gets louder and it gets louder and it disturbs you.
• 59:00
  SPEAKER_01: So, like you better follow, you know, you better follow it and choose love.
• 59:04
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes it takes it takes bravery, but on the other side of those bold and brave actions is your alignment.
• 59:12
  SPEAKER_01: Like it is like, wow, imagine, feel the emotions of how you are gonna feel when you're like, I mean, in your dream job, holding your baby in your arms, like living the la vida loca anda, you know, like just feel those emotions, like you know, like right now what I'm feeling.
• 59:29
  SPEAKER_01: I have a lot to do before we leave, but I'm like, I'm feeling excited.
• 59:33
  SPEAKER_01: I'm feeling like I'm it's all gonna work out, you know.
• 59:36
  SPEAKER_01: I'm feeling in like in love with like I'm feeling gratitude, you know.
• 59:41
  SPEAKER_01: So I could feel other things like pressure and stress.
• 59:44
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh, how are you doing?
• 59:46
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I don't choose those feelings.
• 59:49
  SPEAKER_00: That's not one thing, but it's it's packaged action steps.
• 59:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 59:55
  SPEAKER_00: Amazing.
• 59:56
  SPEAKER_00: Anything else you want to share?
• 59:59
  SPEAKER_01: Um I mean, I think, you know, I think there is a new way to practice law.
• 1:00:06
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I think we there's enough people out there that are.
• 1:00:12
  SPEAKER_01: I hope that we can be part of this new movement to, you know, we all deserve happiness.
• 1:00:20
  SPEAKER_01: We all we all deserve to do amazing work.
• 1:00:23
  SPEAKER_01: We're protectors.
• 1:00:24
  SPEAKER_01: Lawyers do such, we we need you, we need you in this world.
• 1:00:28
  SPEAKER_01: We don't need you stressed out, we don't need you unhappy, we don't need you like suffering, and we need you in a in a beautiful, loving space where you are exactly where you're meant to be.
• 1:00:41
  SPEAKER_01: You're following your path, you're listening to that inner voice, you're doing the amazing work that that feels effortless because it's aligned completely with your purpose.
• 1:00:51
  SPEAKER_01: And I think going on that journey and kind of figuring that out, not listening too much to like our parents or like our peers or what you know the the regular definition of success is, um, and not being you know afraid of what of what's gonna happen.
• 1:01:07
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, we kind of have to walk into that unknown and um yeah, and and create.
• 1:01:15
  SPEAKER_01: So I am doing a CLE.
• 1:01:18
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and it's starting in it's starting in January.
• 1:01:22
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I haven't really even done the um, and I've done one two-hour CLE.
• 1:01:27
  SPEAKER_01: So it'll be a two-hour CLE kind of on the spiritual laws and how can we practice law like well-being, but kind of, you know, a lot of the things I talked about today, it's really this we cannot control what's around us, but we can't here's how we control what's inside of us.
• 1:01:42
  SPEAKER_01: This transformation.
• 1:01:44
  SPEAKER_01: Um you could say, you know, the 3D world versus the 5D world, like the 3D third third dimension where we all exist as physical bodies versus kind of that higher frequency and that higher energy wave.
• 1:01:59
  SPEAKER_01: Um and all it takes is like experimenting and and being open to ideas.
• 1:02:07
  SPEAKER_01: And I think curiosity, um and just being open to things that you know, open to miracles.
• 1:02:18
  SPEAKER_01: Um that's that's just that's like my goal in life, just to create one miracle after another.
• 1:02:26
  SPEAKER_00: Love it.
• 1:02:28
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for sharing your story, for helping our entire industry understand why happiness is an important part of what we do.
• 1:02:38
  SPEAKER_00: And thank you for spending time with me today.
• 1:02:41
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so thrilled that we were able to do this.
• 1:02:44
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for listening.
• 1:02:45
  SPEAKER_00: I hope you got a ton of value from this conversation, and that you will check out the links in the description to learn more about the guest and the wellness esquire.
• 1:02:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I hope you take even just one minute to do something for yourself today.
• 1:02:57
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe right now.
• 1:02:58
  SPEAKER_00: Drink more water, say no, call a friend, do something that makes you happy, have a 30 second dance party, find something to make you laugh.
• 1:03:06
  SPEAKER_00: Also, be sure to subscribe and send the podcast to a colleague.
• 1:03:10
  SPEAKER_00: And if we're not yet connected on LinkedIn, please fix that.
• 1:03:13
  SPEAKER_00: I'd love to know you.
• 1:03:14
  SPEAKER_00: See you next time.