Latest / The Ben Maller Show / Hour 3 - No Horseshoe For You

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Hour 3 - No Horseshoe For You · The Ben Maller Show

0:00
Speaker 1: Boom Shaka Laca. It's our name birth three as we
0:06
Speaker 1: try to balance the books. Here in our number three
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Speaker 1: on the Ben Malor Show on this February twenty seventh.
0:12
Speaker 1: Don't forget to check out the fifth Hour podcast and
0:16
Speaker 1: I'll be available later today. That's the secret menu item,
0:20
Speaker 1: not on the main menu. It's not on real radio.
0:22
Speaker 1: It's it's just on the podcast. So check that out
0:25
Speaker 1: and enjoy the episode today, I believe will be titled
0:29
Speaker 1: something along the Effects Along the Effects of the State
0:32
Speaker 1: of the Malord Union. We'll have that for you here
0:34
Speaker 1: in our number three later on Lame Jokes of the Week,
0:37
Speaker 1: but we begin with this. What is the sales pitch
0:41
Speaker 1: for Colts quarterback Anthony Richardson on the flea market. He's
0:44
Speaker 1: been given permission to find a partner to dance with
0:47
Speaker 1: outside of Indianapolis. Also, give me the soundtrack on these
0:51
Speaker 1: comments by GM Brandon Bean on the Bills owner firing
0:56
Speaker 1: Sean McDermott alone, and he had nothing to do with
0:59
Speaker 1: it in the pressure cooker in Buffalo. And we'll go
1:02
Speaker 1: to basketball. We're an NBA scout slammed Lakers center DeAndre Ayton,
1:07
Speaker 1: saying he's mostly underachieved. What are you seeing here on
1:11
Speaker 1: this one? We'll talk about that as well. Here in
1:14
Speaker 1: is your secret weapon to get you through the day.
1:17
Speaker 1: It's our number three. No horseshoe for you, not anymore. No, no, no, no,
1:25
Speaker 1: I know, I know who's your Bill's very upset about that?
1:28
Speaker 1: Is that run meeting? Untimely and welcome. In the beginning
1:34
Speaker 1: of another hour of the Ben Malors Show.
1:37
Speaker 2: We are in the air of rewaere everywhere as we
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Speaker 2: are traveling at the speed of light, and the audio
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1:52
Speaker 2: we are where passion meets performance unless we're not coast
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Speaker 2: and prestigiously powerful microphones of fsre am monating live from
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Speaker 2: the bakery as we sell these hot takes by the
2:09
Speaker 2: dozen from the world famous Fox Sports radio studios. We
2:15
Speaker 2: are side by side here now Fred and Nebraska reminds
2:20
Speaker 2: me that this hour is made possible by our friends
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Speaker 1: back at it. Later this hour, the comedy club will open.
2:58
Speaker 1: The comedy club will open. They'll be jokes in every
3:01
Speaker 1: nook and cranny. It's going to be amazing. That's my
3:04
Speaker 1: elevator pitch lame jokes with our friend Billy. He lives
3:07
Speaker 1: in Hollywood, Florid. He goes by the stage name of
3:09
Speaker 1: weed Man Hippie, and he'll be with us. Later this
3:12
Speaker 1: hour we'll have lame Jokes of the Week, which is
3:13
Speaker 1: pretty much just turned into a roast of weed Man.
3:16
Speaker 1: I think next week. I'm thinking about next week having
3:19
Speaker 1: no weed Band jokes. I haven't decided that yet. We'll
3:22
Speaker 1: talk about that more later. But our lead this out
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Speaker 1: from Indanapolis, the Scouting Combine, and this is about the
3:31
Speaker 1: team that plays there year round. It appears that Anthony
3:34
Speaker 1: Richardson is unborrowed time as quarterback of the Colts the
3:39
Speaker 1: Colts have allowed Anthony Richardson to go out to the
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Speaker 1: wild blue yonder and find somebody else to employ him.
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Speaker 1: So if you didn't hear about this, maybe not Richardson
3:50
Speaker 1: an absolute bust. My god, the gift that keeps giving
3:55
Speaker 1: from Jim Rcay. The late Jimmers say, there, what were
3:57
Speaker 1: you thinking? Holy Conoley, By any measurement, he sucks. So Richardson,
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Speaker 1: who lost a positional battle to Daniel Jones, do you
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Speaker 1: understand how much you have to suck to lose a
4:11
Speaker 1: quarterback battle to Daniel Jones when you were a top
4:14
Speaker 1: five pick in the NFL draft? Oh my god. Anyway,
4:19
Speaker 1: so that was before last season. Now, now after being
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Speaker 1: relegated to the number two spot, he is going to
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Speaker 1: be sent packing, sent packing. So the Colts apparently committed
4:33
Speaker 1: to bringing back the player that used to go by
4:37
Speaker 1: Danny Dimes. Now he goes by Indiana Jones, and they
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Speaker 1: want him as the starter for the foreseeable future. They
4:43
Speaker 1: really have no other options because they traded a bunch
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Speaker 1: of draft picks to get some sauce, and so Richardson
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Speaker 1: is hanging out in the Twilight Zone as he tries
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Speaker 1: to find a new home out of Indy. That is
4:57
Speaker 1: a good jumping off point. Let us disc gus together.
5:00
Speaker 1: Here we go. Question for you, what is the sales pitch?
5:06
Speaker 1: You're the agent, You're the agent. This guy's got a
5:10
Speaker 1: rap you, it's a bum rap. But what is the
5:13
Speaker 1: sales pitch for Colts quarterback Anthony Richardson out on the
5:18
Speaker 1: flea market. So I've got PlayStation, Jamaican reggae, and top
5:25
Speaker 1: regional salesman. And we will combine all of these things
5:30
Speaker 1: together and we are going to scrub a dub dub.
5:33
Speaker 1: The data is what we're going to do. The digital
5:37
Speaker 1: paper trail. We're going to scrub a dub dub. All right. So,
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Speaker 1: first of all, the sales pitch Anthony Richardson is lacking
5:43
Speaker 1: the razzle dazzle. Another one of these guys that was
5:47
Speaker 1: propped up by the box on social media. He's built
5:51
Speaker 1: like a dunnis well, he might be built like that.
5:55
Speaker 1: I don't play like that, Richardson. I think of him
5:58
Speaker 1: like a mythical dragon. But he doesn't breathe fire. He
6:02
Speaker 1: breathes lukewarm air. That's essentially what Richardson is, right. He's
6:06
Speaker 1: like if you were to think of a mythical fire
6:08
Speaker 1: breathing dragon with three heads. He's got like half of
6:13
Speaker 1: one head and just kind of lukewarm air. That's that's it.
6:17
Speaker 1: No fire. And this was a guy drafted to be
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Speaker 1: a franchise quarterback and he at this point the sales pitches.
6:23
Speaker 1: It's like a PlayStation game with the glitchy controller, with
6:27
Speaker 1: the glitchy controller. House Flipper NFL Edition. Think of Anthony
6:32
Speaker 1: Richardson as a giant Texas McMansion. Everything's bigger in Texas, right,
6:39
Speaker 1: those giant mc mansions and all that three car, four
6:43
Speaker 1: car garage. Everything looking great, and then you're like, wait
6:47
Speaker 1: a minute, what's what am I looking at here? I'm
6:50
Speaker 1: I'm looking down from a telescope and there's a cracked
6:54
Speaker 1: foundation and I can see it from space. That's Anthony
6:59
Speaker 1: rich You're trying to flip the house. It looks really
7:03
Speaker 1: nice from a distance, and then or from up close.
7:05
Speaker 1: You said mansion, all these garages, and then you see
7:08
Speaker 1: the cracked foundation and all like, man, So bring the
7:10
Speaker 1: golden hammer, the paint roller. You might want to bring
7:13
Speaker 1: a priest and a rabbi as well. So his claim
7:17
Speaker 1: to fame. Am I don't think I'm wrong on this?
7:20
Speaker 1: His claim to fame. Anthony Richardson's claim to fame is
7:24
Speaker 1: tapping out tap tap of a game because he was tired. Now,
7:30
Speaker 1: this is a fireable offense. He never recovered from that.
7:34
Speaker 1: He never recovered from that. You cannot do that. You
7:39
Speaker 1: did the thing you can't do at the time. You
7:41
Speaker 1: cannot do it. That is his signature moment. Anthony Richardson's
7:45
Speaker 1: elite skill has been getting hurt. What is my evidence?
7:49
Speaker 1: So since Richardson joined the Colts, he has missed about
7:54
Speaker 1: sixty percent of the available games in the regular season
7:58
Speaker 1: because of injury. You name it, it's happened. Regardless, Someone's
8:04
Speaker 1: gonna take a shot on this guy. As we know,
8:06
Speaker 1: one man's garbage is another man's treasure. Based on the
8:11
Speaker 1: speculation market, the Vikings are the overwhelming favorite, and that's
8:18
Speaker 1: only because of some candid audio a hidden microphone which
8:23
Speaker 1: wasn't actually hidden. There was a Colts game against the
8:28
Speaker 1: Vikings and the head coach of the Minnesota Vikings, Kevin O'Connell,
8:33
Speaker 1: licked the toes of Anthony Richardson. So connecting the dots
8:38
Speaker 1: is like, well, there you go. Why not go to
8:40
Speaker 1: the Vikings? Who says no? So the Vikings are the
8:43
Speaker 1: favorites here as they are looking to collect more underachieving quarterbacks.
8:48
Speaker 1: It's like back in the day people collected beanie babies.
8:51
Speaker 1: The Vikings are collecting quarterbacks that can't play. Where have
8:55
Speaker 1: you gone? JJ McCarthy and dare I say, I'm concerned
8:58
Speaker 1: about this a little bit? The rams, the rams, and
9:02
Speaker 1: look at the situation there. Sean McVay would love to
9:05
Speaker 1: sprinkle a magical spell of some concoction of vampire dust
9:11
Speaker 1: and caterpillar heads to fix Anthony Richardson. But to go
9:16
Speaker 1: from a number four pick to what we're talking about,
9:19
Speaker 1: a six or seventh round conditional draft pick, He's now
9:22
Speaker 1: a penny stock. Anthony Richardson at this point, a penny
9:26
Speaker 1: stock at this point. All right, now, second we go
9:30
Speaker 1: where the Buffalo roam is where we go and more
9:34
Speaker 1: fallout from the coaching change, as Sean McDermott got whacked
9:39
Speaker 1: after the loss crash and burn style to the Broncos.
9:43
Speaker 1: So Brandon Bean, the general manager of the Buffalo Bills
9:48
Speaker 1: there said at the combine the decision to decommission coach
9:55
Speaker 1: Sean McDermott was ultimately owner Terry Pagoula's and his noting
10:02
Speaker 1: that Bean and McDermott both reported directly to ownership. And
10:08
Speaker 1: so that's that's the answer to the question. Can you
10:11
Speaker 1: give me the soundtrack to the comments that we just
10:15
Speaker 1: gave you from the GM of the Buffalo Bills Brandon
10:17
Speaker 1: Bean on the owner firing Sean McDermott alone. So this
10:23
Speaker 1: is actually some Jamaican reggae. It's a cult classic from
10:27
Speaker 1: many many years ago to Shaggy Dog story. It's the
10:31
Speaker 1: ultimate Shaggy defense by the Buffalo Bills GM. He's essentially saying,
10:37
Speaker 1: it wasn't me. I didn't see him get fired, I
10:41
Speaker 1: didn't hand in the pink slip. I was just standing
10:44
Speaker 1: there picking buggers on the side of the room. It
10:46
Speaker 1: wasn't me while the roster rotted. Yeah, okay. This is
10:52
Speaker 1: what's known as a total handwashing of the situation. And
10:57
Speaker 1: he has been given the metaphorical the GM, the metaphorical
11:00
Speaker 1: ivory soap, get out of trouble, free, scrub a dub
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Speaker 1: dub from accountability. And while McDermott did a bad job,
11:09
Speaker 1: I don't think people would fight that they were failures
11:13
Speaker 1: Buffalo in the playoffs. They were able to climb up
11:16
Speaker 1: the mountain to a certain point, and then they couldn't
11:19
Speaker 1: get past that peak on the mountain. They couldn't get
11:22
Speaker 1: up to that point. And so the Bill's roster not
11:26
Speaker 1: the greatest, and McDermott gets a full pardon by or
11:30
Speaker 1: being rather gets a full pardon, while McDermott is the
11:34
Speaker 1: one that ends up being sent to the Gulag. And
11:37
Speaker 1: so you look at it should have been a package deal.
11:40
Speaker 1: Should have been a package deal right when the deep
11:43
Speaker 1: friar was turned on, and it was turned on, they
11:46
Speaker 1: ended up tossing McDermott in there like he was some
11:48
Speaker 1: fries from McDonald's instead of being could have been seeab
11:53
Speaker 1: he fought for him or said, well, I gotta go
11:55
Speaker 1: to Darwinism that it takes over darwin issm Survival of
11:58
Speaker 1: the fittest the fittest. My final thought to pro bouncy ball.
12:04
Speaker 1: We go. We're watching some games last night in the NBA.
12:08
Speaker 1: The Suns late three pointer took down the Lakers in
12:11
Speaker 1: one of the games. I was checking as I was
12:14
Speaker 1: bouncing around flipping different games, and speaking of that, an
12:18
Speaker 1: anonymous always love anonymous, great hackers and great quotes. So
12:23
Speaker 1: the anonymous Western Conference Scout, which is always good for
12:28
Speaker 1: talk radio. Anonymous scout guy good for talk radio. So
12:33
Speaker 1: the anonymous Western Conference scout unloaded on Lakers center DeAndre Ayton,
12:41
Speaker 1: which always always makes for some fun, always makes for
12:44
Speaker 1: some fun. So the TELL evaluator said that Ayton has
12:48
Speaker 1: quote mostly underachieved in the NBA by the standards of
12:52
Speaker 1: eight number one overall pick people have been unable to
12:58
Speaker 1: crack the code. The scout said that he meaning ate
13:02
Speaker 1: and picks and chooses when he wants to lock in
13:06
Speaker 1: and play, and which is not what most dominant centers do. Now.
13:12
Speaker 1: Aydon was also overheard saying that the Lakers were quote
13:17
Speaker 1: trying to make me meaning Ayton, Clint Capella referring to
13:23
Speaker 1: the Rocket center who's there to set screens and get
13:26
Speaker 1: rebounds mostly and Ayton said, I am no Clint Capella.
13:32
Speaker 1: How about Clint Capella taking some shrapnel. Some strays there
13:36
Speaker 1: in Houston saw that game. The Rockets had a big comebay.
13:40
Speaker 1: They were down nineteen against the Orlando Magic and they
13:43
Speaker 1: came back and won that game. All right, So the
13:46
Speaker 1: question you got this anonymous NBA scout Remember anonymous great
13:50
Speaker 1: hackers and great scouts, great quotes. So the NBA scout
13:54
Speaker 1: slamming Lakers center DeAndre Ayton saying he's quote mostly underachieved.
14:01
Speaker 1: So what are you seeing here? What you what are
14:03
Speaker 1: you seeing here? So this is the next chapter. Years ago,
14:07
Speaker 1: there was this this video series called Girls Gone Wild
14:12
Speaker 1: and uh, it was its popular back when people like
14:15
Speaker 1: VHS tapes and things like that, and so they had
14:17
Speaker 1: that that the franchise Girl's Gone Wild. Well, the NBA
14:20
Speaker 1: edition is called Lottery Picks Gone Mid. Uh that's it.
14:25
Speaker 1: Uh and uh, Lottery Picks Gone Mid or lottery Picks
14:28
Speaker 1: Gone Mild. Everyone to call it. DeAndre Ayton is just
14:33
Speaker 1: merely playing the role in this chapter of NBA history.
14:37
Speaker 1: Is it true? Is it true that every generation, every
14:43
Speaker 1: generation has a squadron, a squadron of knuckleheads? The could
14:51
Speaker 1: have should have would have been all star crowd, right,
14:57
Speaker 1: The could have should have would have been all Star?
15:01
Speaker 1: And you got guys like Anthony Bennett, Darko Millisic who's
15:05
Speaker 1: a farmer somewhere in your Kwame Brown, Michael Olowa, Kandy.
15:11
Speaker 1: How far back do you want to go? I can
15:13
Speaker 1: go further back if you want. But that's the VIP
15:16
Speaker 1: section of unrealized potential. Remember potential gets you fired. Talent
15:24
Speaker 1: that does the job is what you need. You don't
15:26
Speaker 1: need potential a suspect. A prospect is a suspect until Peruanas.
15:32
Speaker 1: But DeAndre Ayton And here's another guy in sports that
15:37
Speaker 1: has the body like a Marvel Comics superhero, and yet
15:43
Speaker 1: most of the time he lounges on a pontoon boat
15:49
Speaker 1: on the same wazy river with Darko and Bennett and
15:53
Speaker 1: Kwame and Ola Wa Candy and those guys. It's the
15:56
Speaker 1: same it's the same river. So eight seasons now, I
16:01
Speaker 1: can't believe it's been that long, bouncing from Phoenix to
16:04
Speaker 1: Portland to the Lakers. And when he agreed to a
16:08
Speaker 1: deal with the Lakers, as the armchair critic, I just
16:13
Speaker 1: torpedoed DeAndre eight. So I went back from my email
16:17
Speaker 1: I don't delete much, and saw a couple of letters
16:21
Speaker 1: from historians that like the Purple and Gold who essentially
16:25
Speaker 1: told me, you're wrong, Ben, you don't know what you're
16:27
Speaker 1: talking about. The Lakers are different, The Lakers are different.
16:31
Speaker 1: He's not going to be the same guy. DeAndre eat
16:33
Speaker 1: and he was for the Sons of the Blazers. No, no, no,
16:36
Speaker 1: that laundry is magical. And you're just a Clipper fanboy
16:40
Speaker 1: and you don't understand and you're wrong. Okay, so let's
16:44
Speaker 1: see how this is going here. Okay, the NBA seasons passed,
16:48
Speaker 1: the All Star break, Lakers not doing all that great. Okay,
16:53
Speaker 1: so yeah, he has continued on. DeAndre Ayton is the
16:56
Speaker 1: top regional salesman for lazy boy, very comfortable, too comfortable.
17:01
Speaker 1: He's not an alpha, and he's an I d G
17:06
Speaker 1: A F guy. I don't give an F plays when
17:09
Speaker 1: he feels like it and when he doesn't nap time,
17:14
Speaker 1: nap time, right, And the Lakers and all their historian supporters,
17:18
Speaker 1: they thought, oh, we got Luke and Lebron, We're gonna
17:21
Speaker 1: fix this guy that putting on that laundry. It's like
17:24
Speaker 1: a magic wand like a magic wand it's it's pixie gravitas,
17:30
Speaker 1: pixie dust, gravitas of purple and gold and all that. Well. No,
17:35
Speaker 1: there's a famous quote. I'm gonna I'm gonna attribute this
17:38
Speaker 1: to Judge Judy because I remember I was watching Judge
17:40
Speaker 1: Judy years ago and she said this on her show.
17:43
Speaker 1: And the quote goes, do not try to teach a
17:47
Speaker 1: pig to sing? And the reason you don't try to
17:50
Speaker 1: teach a pig the sing is because the pig. The
17:54
Speaker 1: pig will be annoyed. The pig will be annoyed, and
17:57
Speaker 1: and and now it's annoying a nation or the historians
18:02
Speaker 1: or whatever you're gonna call all right, and you're just
18:03
Speaker 1: gonna waste your time and like what are you doing?
18:06
Speaker 1: So that's where we are. It is the Ben Mahler Show.
18:08
Speaker 1: If you'd like to be part, eight seven seven ninety
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Speaker 1: nine on Fox. Also no butt dialing, No butt dialing
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Speaker 1: on that eight seven seven ninety nine on Fox. On
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Speaker 1: AX at Ben Mahlor. That's at Ben Maler. If you'd
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Speaker 1: like to be part of the live radio program. It
18:24
Speaker 1: is time now though for the Malor riddle of the day.
18:28
Speaker 1: You can answer this on X at Ben Maller. New
18:32
Speaker 1: York Mets pitching prospect slash suspect somebody named Ryan Lambert.
18:38
Speaker 1: According to the urban legend, Ryan Lambert drank blank in
18:42
Speaker 1: a month to gain velocity. Again, New York Mets pitching
18:46
Speaker 1: suspect slash prospect Ryan Lambert decided, you know what, I'm
18:51
Speaker 1: gonna go out and drink blank in a month to
18:54
Speaker 1: gain velocity. What did he drink? That is the mallor
18:58
Speaker 1: riddle up today the answer, We'll get to it and
19:01
Speaker 1: we will.
19:02
Speaker 3: Do it.
19:04
Speaker 1: Next.
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Speaker 1: eight seven seven ninety nine on Fox. That's eight seven
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Speaker 1: machine at Ben Mahlor. That's at Ben Mahlor. And we
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Speaker 1: will read your comments, assuming they're not underwhelming on the air.
20:24
Speaker 1: My right hand was getting a workout. If we're underwhelming,
20:28
Speaker 1: if you're underwhelming, when we're in dire straits, we might
20:31
Speaker 1: still read them, most likely not. And also Loraina FSR
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Speaker 1: Tech Queen is on X side. No no, no, don't talk.
20:41
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20:48
Speaker 1: your comments, Ken and we'll be used against you. So
20:53
Speaker 1: act a quarterly to pay off the malar riddle of
21:00
Speaker 1: the day. The malor riddle of the day very exciting,
21:03
Speaker 1: I know, calm down. So here it is a New
21:06
Speaker 1: York Mets pitching suspect slash prospect. Somebody named Ryan Lambert
21:12
Speaker 1: drank blank in a month to gain velocity. I get
21:17
Speaker 1: some velocity there. Eileen in San Francisco said, some doll
21:21
Speaker 1: whip pineapple juice. That's not bad, yummy, What a hustle
21:25
Speaker 1: that dole whip thing? Is? That pineapple dollwhip man? That
21:29
Speaker 1: is the way to go. What else? Bobby and Florida.
21:32
Speaker 1: Keylon Pie Bobby says he drank Sydney Sweeney's bathwater. Who
21:35
Speaker 1: else do we have? Drank slurum soda voted number one
21:40
Speaker 1: soft drink of the thirty first century, Look at you?
21:47
Speaker 1: What else we have? Dragon blood from Family that's a
21:51
Speaker 1: spinoff of tiger Blood dragon Blood. Who else do we have?
21:55
Speaker 1: Page Down Andy in Line Lakes, Minnesota said drank some
22:00
Speaker 1: rocket fuel flaming Doctor Pepper from Late Night Drug tester. Wow,
22:07
Speaker 1: that does not seem like that that greater thing. What
22:09
Speaker 1: else did? Wow? Ghost Pepper, hot sauce from Donkey's Sausage,
22:14
Speaker 1: A warm glass of Doc Mike's Magic Elixir from Rob
22:18
Speaker 1: the Goat Man, Alf the Alien Opine? Are going with
22:22
Speaker 1: mouthwash as his answer? Stevie Meatball says old number seventy
22:28
Speaker 1: three extra virgin olive oil is the answer. Who else?
22:32
Speaker 1: Cottage cheese smoothie from Eke in Roseville, Minnesota. Penalyte from Dante.
22:40
Speaker 1: Who else? Page Down Mike from New Hampshire clearly cheated?
22:43
Speaker 1: Got it right? Bad job by him. Hugh on I
22:45
Speaker 1: five says some mouth moose urine and tapatio that that
22:55
Speaker 1: is a known for velocity enhancing as an elixir ovaltine
23:01
Speaker 1: guessed by the grill sergeant. Who else do we have?
23:03
Speaker 1: Page an STP oil treatment from JT. The Wingman just
23:08
Speaker 1: outside of Knoxville, Tennessee. Arturo with ovaltine as well, Bloody
23:16
Speaker 1: Mary from gunner at the Walmart in Minnesota. Jolt soda
23:20
Speaker 1: from filler up Phil and that's his answer. The blood
23:24
Speaker 1: of smurfs from Doc Dan. That's his answer. Pepto bismol
23:28
Speaker 1: from dat Dude. Who else Page Dan? I can't read that?
23:33
Speaker 1: All right, Lorna, do you have an answer? It's the
23:35
Speaker 1: Malard riddle of the day. New York Mets pitching suspect
23:38
Speaker 1: Ryan Lambert drank blank in one month to gain velocity
23:44
Speaker 1: as we get ready for the baseball season. Five hundred
23:47
Speaker 1: raw eggs, All right, Lorraina is cheating. That's a bad jobby.
23:51
Speaker 1: It's not five hundred, Lorraina. The number was one thousand
23:54
Speaker 1: raw eggs. One thousand eggs in a month. I was
24:00
Speaker 1: in raw eggs in a month. Who was that con
24:04
Speaker 1: artist that was a social media influencer that looked like
24:08
Speaker 1: he was the Incredible Hulk, but it was all like steroids.
24:11
Speaker 1: But he claimed he was just eating like sides of cat. Yes,
24:14
Speaker 1: I remember who you're talking about. He kind of he
24:16
Speaker 1: kind of looked homeless, but he was all super ripped. Yeah,
24:20
Speaker 1: what was the guy? I don't remember it made He
24:21
Speaker 1: didn't he was. He made videos drinking a bunch of
24:24
Speaker 1: raw eggs and things like that like that was that
24:28
Speaker 1: was his thing. So I see, average month has thirty
24:32
Speaker 1: one days, and then if you divide that by one thousand,
24:39
Speaker 1: so that means yeah, he was drinking a lot of eggs.
24:43
Speaker 1: He was. He was drinking a lot a lot of
24:46
Speaker 1: eggs every single day. And the things people believe that
24:51
Speaker 1: are gonna make them throw faster whatever. You go back
24:56
Speaker 1: and you look at some of the stuff people did
24:57
Speaker 1: back in the seventeen hundreds, in the eighteen hundreds, which
25:00
Speaker 1: we would all roll the riyes at now he said, well,
25:02
Speaker 1: that's you know, that's dumb dumb, the dum dumb dumb. Uh. Yeah.
25:07
Speaker 1: So anyway, it is the Ben Mallor show. As we
25:11
Speaker 1: are continuing on, it's like thousand thousand, I can't a
25:17
Speaker 1: thousand eggs raw ex that's discussed and expensive liver king
25:22
Speaker 1: that's who it was. There, you go, the liver king,
25:24
Speaker 1: that guy the uh there you go, who's your bills?
25:28
Speaker 1: A big fan of the liver King, loves the loves
25:30
Speaker 1: the liver King. Let's go to the phones and let's
25:34
Speaker 1: say loo to Mike the Leprechaun fan favorite Mike the Leprechaun,
25:40
Speaker 1: very controversial caller in the what's.
25:44
Speaker 3: That Robin didn't like me yesterday?
25:47
Speaker 1: Not not a fan of your work, No, not a fan.
25:50
Speaker 1: But you know, if you're going to be famous, is
25:51
Speaker 1: this part of the deal. I've tried to tell you,
25:53
Speaker 1: Michael Leprechaun has a celebrity caller, You're gonna have haters.
25:56
Speaker 1: It's going to happen.
25:57
Speaker 3: I'm I'm building treading water, correct, barely treading water. A
26:01
Speaker 3: happy March March, it's.
26:04
Speaker 1: Not We're not. You know, you can't that's bad juju.
26:06
Speaker 1: You can't say that's bad luck. You gotta wait till March.
26:08
Speaker 3: You wait till tomorrow, Okay, Happy?
26:11
Speaker 1: I would be doing a podcast tomorrow, so and then
26:14
Speaker 1: there's Tomorrow's another day. We got to wait till Sunday.
26:16
Speaker 3: For that, okay. So Happy Sant Patas Day, Early Sant
26:21
Speaker 3: Pantas state.
26:21
Speaker 6: We're counting down.
26:22
Speaker 1: You're really early on all this stuff. Why what are
26:25
Speaker 1: you doing. You're premature, guy.
26:27
Speaker 3: I'm freaking up because I have to turn the calendar
26:29
Speaker 3: to March first and get the whole month. I always
26:33
Speaker 3: get added that with a new mind.
26:35
Speaker 1: You don't. You don't have to change the calendar because
26:38
Speaker 1: it's already it's still February. It's the twenty seventh day
26:41
Speaker 1: of February today. You don't have to do that.
26:45
Speaker 6: Anyway.
26:46
Speaker 3: There once was an ugly duckling weight feathers all shired
26:51
Speaker 3: and gray, So don't call me an ugly ducting Marshall.
26:56
Speaker 1: But anyway, okay, right right now, right now, hold second, now,
27:01
Speaker 1: Robin in Ventura, California is very upset. Now she's rolling around.
27:04
Speaker 1: I told you, bed, I told you that's what she's
27:07
Speaker 1: saying right now. I told you, man, you didn't listen
27:09
Speaker 1: to me. That's what she's saying.
27:11
Speaker 3: Okay. Do you think Katum will play tomorrow marsh first against.
27:14
Speaker 6: The Seven six Ers.
27:16
Speaker 1: I don't think so, But you keep saying, you listen,
27:21
Speaker 1: here's the deal, all right? Uh? Do I think Tatum's
27:24
Speaker 1: going to play? No, I don't think he's going I
27:27
Speaker 1: don't think he's gonna play tomorrow.
27:28
Speaker 3: About that, okay, Anyway, I do have a small complaint.
27:34
Speaker 6: Password.
27:34
Speaker 3: Two weeks ago, me and the other guy. We ateed it.
27:37
Speaker 3: We got ten ten ten ten. Can I get at
27:40
Speaker 3: least a half of the golden tickets?
27:43
Speaker 6: Pretty? Please?
27:44
Speaker 3: Please? The half of a golden ticket?
27:46
Speaker 4: No?
27:47
Speaker 1: If you had called me up right away, yes, but
27:49
Speaker 1: you waited two weeks. I talked to coup. Oh congratulations,
27:54
Speaker 1: So you talked to coopngratulates. What do you want? Yeah,
27:57
Speaker 1: all right, somebody wants to talk to you, Mike de Lepreca,
28:00
Speaker 1: Hold on his sake, Scott, you're on the your Hello,
28:03
Speaker 1: blind Scott sale to Mike the Leprecaun Blind Scott.
28:06
Speaker 6: Hey, Mike, you've absolutely ruined the show. You called every day.
28:09
Speaker 6: You're begging for a golden ticket. Nowt you give shout
28:11
Speaker 6: outs to people who you go out to hang out with.
28:14
Speaker 6: You have no takes at all. You've driven every listener
28:16
Speaker 6: away from the show where they're shutting off the show.
28:18
Speaker 6: Now you hijacked the show through football season doing a
28:21
Speaker 6: Patriots pick take where you pick the Patriots for every
28:24
Speaker 6: segment every damn week. Mike, I know you understand that
28:27
Speaker 6: you're enjoying your retirement.
28:28
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, how do you respond? Mike? The leprecun.
28:31
Speaker 1: How do you respond to this?
28:33
Speaker 3: Okay, I hope that bland Scott will give me a
28:35
Speaker 3: mulligan for one. And you know what the bland Scott's
28:38
Speaker 3: initials are.
28:40
Speaker 1: BS and okay, blind Scott, I'm told your initials are bs,
28:44
Speaker 1: blind Scott and uh, I'm also till you're making things
28:47
Speaker 1: up about people leaving the show.
28:50
Speaker 6: Ben, this is all your fault for not being my
28:51
Speaker 6: friend anymore and letting this lose, for hijacked the show.
28:54
Speaker 1: Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait,
28:56
Speaker 1: we just did like you called. You called the other
28:59
Speaker 1: day and said we're lifelong friends. So now you're calling
29:01
Speaker 1: up today saying we're not friend.
29:03
Speaker 3: We are.
29:03
Speaker 6: We are. We're really good friends. You're the only friend
29:05
Speaker 6: I ever have that You're the only one that will
29:06
Speaker 6: take my phone calls, you know. And I'm jealous of
29:09
Speaker 6: this guy, Mike the Leprechaun. He teaches his whole life,
29:12
Speaker 6: you know what I mean. He rolls in here like
29:14
Speaker 6: he's gonna get on the radio. Man like you knows
29:16
Speaker 6: what he's doing on radio. He does terrible radio, bro,
29:19
Speaker 6: you know, And we accept him because we like him,
29:21
Speaker 6: he said retired teacher. We wanted to have a good time.
29:23
Speaker 6: You know he's funny. I watch his YouTube video shows.
29:26
Speaker 1: Now blind Scott, are you gonna time? Are you gonna
29:29
Speaker 1: have Mike the Leprecaun take part in your webinar on
29:33
Speaker 1: how to be a great talk radio call?
29:35
Speaker 3: Are you gonna.
29:35
Speaker 6: Crush it on?
29:36
Speaker 3: So?
29:36
Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm crushing it on social media and outs. I
29:38
Speaker 6: know how to get in the algorithm and I could
29:40
Speaker 6: tell him how to refund.
29:42
Speaker 1: Okay, so get us in the app, Scott, since you
29:44
Speaker 1: claim to get get us in the algorithm, wed us
29:47
Speaker 1: wedge our show in the algorithm? You remember a couple
29:50
Speaker 1: of years ago, we were actually trending on X one
29:53
Speaker 1: Night because I forget what it was, but we were
29:56
Speaker 1: like a trending topic in the United States on on
29:58
Speaker 1: X one Night.
30:00
Speaker 6: Trending on us. I'm trending all the time now, man,
30:02
Speaker 6: I'm Talenti's I was trending. I said, does anybody want
30:05
Speaker 6: to go and bownine say with me? I had like
30:07
Speaker 6: a million jews all these times. I don't know if
30:08
Speaker 6: you guys know my social media. No, I can't.
30:13
Speaker 1: On the social media must during the day. I'm not
30:15
Speaker 1: on there any Michael anything else Michael Leprecaun, anything else
30:18
Speaker 1: you want to add Michael Leprecaun.
30:20
Speaker 3: I hope to see I hope to see Plan Scott
30:23
Speaker 3: in Boston this summer. But he's spending on X for
30:25
Speaker 3: all the wrong reasons.
30:28
Speaker 1: Okay, that's likely true. That's likely true. Do you want
30:31
Speaker 1: to pop pap? I thank you, Michael Epu, Bob, Poppy,
30:35
Speaker 1: and San Diego. Hello Poppy, Welcome Poppy, Poppy.
30:41
Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm right here, and I know you guys want Poppy.
30:44
Speaker 1: No no, no, go back on hold. I don't want no, no, no,
30:47
Speaker 1: I don't want that. Nobody wants that. Nobody wants it.
30:50
Speaker 1: I wait over there, no, no no way, uh my god,
30:56
Speaker 1: we do not need that. There's no not a man,
30:58
Speaker 1: woman or child that wants He's picks nobody. So how
31:03
Speaker 1: about this story from the NFL. Though, Shadur Sanders thought
31:06
Speaker 1: he would try to butter up his new coach, Todd
31:08
Speaker 1: munkin there the Monkman in Cleveland, so he got him
31:12
Speaker 1: a nice surprise birthday gift. It was revealed this week
31:15
Speaker 1: that Chadur Sanders, who's about to lose his job as
31:18
Speaker 1: the starting quarterback for the Cleveland Browns, sent you see
31:23
Speaker 1: this no, So he sent Chaudeur Sanders the new Browns
31:26
Speaker 1: Coach a horsehead as a gift, a porcelain horsehead. Yeah,
31:34
Speaker 1: that's going full Godfather, that is that is not a
31:38
Speaker 1: good sign when you're getting a horse head. So Monkin
31:43
Speaker 1: said that Chadur Sanders told him he just really liked
31:47
Speaker 1: the porcelain horse head and he bought one himself. So
31:52
Speaker 1: I was thinking about this and I thought, well, first
31:54
Speaker 1: of all, is this actually something well, it's something I'm
31:57
Speaker 1: talking about it was there a subliminal message? And the
32:01
Speaker 1: other thing I was thinking about is Shadur Sanders is
32:07
Speaker 1: young enough, and I don't know that a lot of
32:10
Speaker 1: the younger generation are watching classic movies in Hollywood. So
32:15
Speaker 1: is it possible that Shadur Sanders never saw The Godfather?
32:21
Speaker 1: He's twenty four years old, he was born in two
32:25
Speaker 1: and just just had a birthday this month. Is it
32:27
Speaker 1: possible that he has no idea about the god It's possible, right,
32:33
Speaker 1: you know, you're not watching the classic movies like Gone
32:35
Speaker 1: with the Wind and The Godfather and all that like that.
32:37
Speaker 1: That's my generation. I had to watch that crap. But
32:40
Speaker 1: these people don't have to do it, you know, they
32:42
Speaker 1: worry about the trending topic on TikTok. That's what they
32:45
Speaker 1: got to worry about. So interesting. We'll revisit that later.
32:50
Speaker 1: We've got big Bands Lame Jokes of the Week for
32:54
Speaker 1: the rest of the hour, Big Bends laying jokes of
32:57
Speaker 1: the week. We'll get to that. We'll do it next.
33:00
Speaker 4: Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
33:02
Speaker 4: Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
33:05
Speaker 1: Bill Miller and you. It is the Ben Malor Show.
33:09
Speaker 1: As we are up all night with the original recipe.
33:11
Speaker 1: Don't forget about the secret menu item. It's the fifth
33:17
Speaker 1: hour podcast. It'll be available later today as you can
33:20
Speaker 1: hear this podcast as we're recording this live overnight on
33:24
Speaker 1: real radio, but you can also hear the podcast format now.
33:28
Speaker 1: All that is available on the iHeartRadio app. You can
33:30
Speaker 1: also stream the show wherever you happen to be. There
33:35
Speaker 1: are thousands of radio stations on the iHeartRadio app. However,
33:38
Speaker 1: Fox Sports Radio always ends up in the top five
33:42
Speaker 1: when they do their ratings on how many people are
33:44
Speaker 1: listening to the streams and all that stuff. So check
33:46
Speaker 1: it out. iHeartRadio up all night every night there on
33:49
Speaker 1: the iHeartRadio app Fox Sports Radio Channel. You can stream
33:53
Speaker 1: us wherever you happen to be and also hear the podcast,
33:56
Speaker 1: the Ben Malor Show podcast and the Fifth Hour podcast.
33:59
Speaker 1: Check It, Knock, Knock. Who's there? Blame Weed, Blame Weed?
34:06
Speaker 1: Who It's Big Ben's lame joke of the week. Yeah,
34:10
Speaker 1: here we go, Big Ben's lame the jokes of the
34:14
Speaker 1: week and yeah, hey, what's going on? Weed man? Hippie left?
34:22
Speaker 1: All right? All right, very good, and we actually have
34:24
Speaker 1: an added bonus. Shit, why do we do this right now?
34:26
Speaker 1: So I don't forget because I know I'm gonna forget,
34:28
Speaker 1: and I don't want to forget because I like this
34:29
Speaker 1: guy and I hope he becomes a regular. So we
34:31
Speaker 1: only don't allow anyone to read jokes to you. But
34:33
Speaker 1: we have a celebrity caller, Mikey the insomniac from Tampa,
34:38
Speaker 1: would like to tell you a joke. Are you ready,
34:40
Speaker 1: weed man?
34:41
Speaker 7: Wow?
34:42
Speaker 6: How are you doing?
34:43
Speaker 3: My dude?
34:44
Speaker 7: I'm doing great? Weed Man. Listen, just say no, because
34:48
Speaker 7: I know you're gonna say yes to this, but I
34:50
Speaker 7: want you just to say no. Have you ever found
34:53
Speaker 7: a dead body in the woods?
34:56
Speaker 6: Oh no, no, no.
34:58
Speaker 7: No, no, have I have twice, and she was like
35:02
Speaker 7: when I left her, I'm sorry, Lorena, she.
35:05
Speaker 8: Was, no, All right, there you go, Mikey starts us off.
35:10
Speaker 8: These are these are joking. If you want to be
35:13
Speaker 8: a joke writer, if you think you're funny and you
35:15
Speaker 8: want to write a joke for hundreds of thousands of people,
35:18
Speaker 8: whatever it is, this is your opportunity right here.
35:20
Speaker 1: Yes, who send me potato chips and candy? Well, I'm
35:28
Speaker 1: I'm not sure I was it. Parito was sitting. I
35:30
Speaker 1: think Pirito had sent you some stuff. I don't know
35:32
Speaker 1: if anyone else sent you, I don't know. Okay, did
35:39
Speaker 1: you get the air fryer from Sir scratch Off? No?
35:42
Speaker 1: I did not. Shocking shocking. Yeah, yeah, Well we had
35:47
Speaker 1: a great Mallard meet and greet in Arkansas, Remember Coop,
35:49
Speaker 1: how fun that was going to Arkansas and our listeners there.
35:52
Speaker 1: It was great and it was really fun. Itv case
35:55
Speaker 1: those were delicious. Those were really good too. But because
35:58
Speaker 1: of that, our buddy, our buddy in Hartford hooked us
36:01
Speaker 1: up with the mother load a couple of times, right,
36:03
Speaker 1: mother load of those? Did you know that weed man
36:06
Speaker 1: is getting.
36:07
Speaker 6: Somebody shut down?
36:09
Speaker 1: Okay, calm down. Did you know that weed Man is
36:11
Speaker 1: getting invited to the Summer Olympics?
36:14
Speaker 7: Wow?
36:15
Speaker 4: Really?
36:16
Speaker 1: Yeah, You're gonna represent the USA in the dumpster high dive.
36:19
Speaker 1: So congratulations on that. That's Noah in Austin. Why did
36:23
Speaker 1: weed Man hate school? Really? Yeah? You hate you hated school.
36:28
Speaker 1: The teachers always gave you home work. That's everybody, Mike
36:32
Speaker 1: the Leprechaun. Who who is weed Man's favorite Star Wars character?
36:38
Speaker 1: Who can't Chewbacca is the answer. That's Kurt Good Joe,
36:48
Speaker 1: Kurt from Earth. How old is weed Man?
36:52
Speaker 7: Old?
36:53
Speaker 1: He's so old that rolling a joint will soon mean
36:57
Speaker 1: his ankle. Uh, let's eat in Roseville, Minnesota. Here's another
37:03
Speaker 1: one from our buddy, e very nice man. I met
37:05
Speaker 1: him weed Man. I met him at the Mallard meeting
37:07
Speaker 1: years back. Yes, what did weed Man write on his
37:10
Speaker 1: jail cell wall? What for a good time? Called Ben
37:16
Speaker 1: Maller eight seven seven ninety nine? One fox? All right?
37:24
Speaker 1: How was weed Man hippie? How's weed Man hippie lasted
37:27
Speaker 1: so long with Lisa? How how well they both believe
37:32
Speaker 1: in a long distance relationship. That's Darryl in the Ozarks.
37:37
Speaker 1: Thank you, Darryl. Met Darryl as Well back in the day,
37:40
Speaker 1: all right, in the Kansas City Meet and greet. Did
37:42
Speaker 1: you know that weed Man was able to buy a
37:45
Speaker 1: new set of chompers for just one dollar?
37:50
Speaker 6: I wish. Wow.
37:52
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a it's a deal. And now you have
37:54
Speaker 1: buck teeth. So congratulations. That's our buddy, Surfer. That's Surfer Todd,
38:01
Speaker 1: the comedian who was at He's always at the mallor
38:03
Speaker 1: meet and greets in Vegas, and I guess he'll be
38:06
Speaker 1: at the one we hope to do it this year,
38:08
Speaker 1: slug willing and all that, and he'll come by and
38:11
Speaker 1: he lives in Vegas part of the time. Now, all right,
38:13
Speaker 1: what happened when a judge asked weed Man Hippie why
38:17
Speaker 1: he was driving under the influence?
38:20
Speaker 7: Why?
38:21
Speaker 1: Well, weed Man Hippie pled the fifth is what he did?
38:25
Speaker 1: That just George, George and Girvaldi Texas sent that one
38:31
Speaker 1: in the eighth Hello, did you hear that weed Man's
38:35
Speaker 1: about weed Man's new beer? Oh really, yeah, big news,
38:40
Speaker 1: weed Man. It's called Lincoln Road Living the Low Life.
38:43
Speaker 1: That's from Drew in Minnesota.
38:47
Speaker 6: Right.
38:48
Speaker 1: Well, apparently weed Man Hippie, as you start you started
38:52
Speaker 1: having a smoothie every day for breakfast? Is that correct?
38:55
Speaker 1: Weed Man? Definitely, yeah, yeah, yeah, apparently not having any
39:00
Speaker 1: if it's the only way you can get high fiber
39:04
Speaker 1: in your diet, high fiber in your Dietsy Darryl again
39:09
Speaker 1: in the ozar. So why did weed Man get rejected
39:13
Speaker 1: when he tried to join the Lakers?
39:15
Speaker 7: Why?
39:17
Speaker 1: Lakers said, we have enough guys standing around doing nothing.
39:20
Speaker 1: That's Eric in Kansas. Very funny man, very funny man.
39:25
Speaker 1: All right, another one from our buddy Eric on the
39:28
Speaker 1: Big Ben's Lame Jokes of the Week. These are actual
39:30
Speaker 1: jokes by actual listeners. Were pretty much roasting weed man.
39:33
Speaker 1: Hippie lives in Florida. That's what we're doing right now.
39:35
Speaker 1: Will let's hear why did Lisa start her own pest
39:40
Speaker 1: control business?
39:41
Speaker 7: Wow?
39:43
Speaker 1: Well, she said, twenty five years of experience keeping weed
39:46
Speaker 1: man far away. That's Eric in Kansas who sent that
39:50
Speaker 1: one in. What does everyone do after weed Man enters
39:54
Speaker 1: a room? What they checked the bottom of their shoes? Wow?
39:59
Speaker 1: That's a lucky I tell you. Oh oh all right?
40:03
Speaker 1: How does how does weed man hold his liquor ow
40:07
Speaker 1: by the ears? That's a Dan in South Carolina? What
40:13
Speaker 1: else do we have here? Let's see page Dan.
40:16
Speaker 4: Here.
40:16
Speaker 1: Weed Man is training for the twenty eighth Summer Olympics
40:19
Speaker 1: in La Wow. Cool, yeah yeah, appelly to be part
40:23
Speaker 1: of the high jump weed Man the high jump. Hid uh?
40:27
Speaker 1: Last one? Did you hear that Jed who fled won
40:30
Speaker 1: a gold medal in the Olympics?
40:32
Speaker 4: No?
40:33
Speaker 1: Really, yes, in the man's crack pipe. So congratulations to
40:38
Speaker 1: Jed who fled. That was from Jeopardy al So thank
40:42
Speaker 1: you guys all everyone that sent jokes in. Wonderful job.
40:46
Speaker 1: Thank you weed Man.
40:48
Speaker 4: Don't you