Latest / Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash / # 183 A dog poo disaster and a life-changing dinner hack

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# 183 A dog poo disaster and a life-changing dinner hack · Two Doting Dads with Matty J & Ash

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Can you smell that? Can you smell anything?
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: God? No?
• 0:04
  Speaker 3: No?
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Okay, we had an incident this morning, an incident. Someone
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: shout themselves. Who do you think? Welcome to the club?
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: Not you, not me? What's your other guests?
• 0:15
  Speaker 4: It's got to be Laura.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to Two Dating Dads. I'm Mattie Jay and
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: this is a podcast all about parenting. It is the good,
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: it is the bad and the relatable. And one thing
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: we will never do is give advice. Correct, was not Laura?
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: Laura?
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: Didn't she herself? Okay, good, I'm glad. Any other guesses?
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: Nana?
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: She?
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: Nana has been shooting herself quite a lot. That's out
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: of gastri out of hospital. But was not Nana. Who's
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: your other guests?
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: I'm running out of people here one of the girls?
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: Nope, Buster there he is.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: Hey here. A dog can't shit themselves because they're not
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: wearing pants or anything. They just shit.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: That is technically correct.
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: Okay, So he shat unexpectedly?
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: There were Yeah, pretty much?
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah? Why what set him off?
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: Mane? I don't know. He's getting old and he's very
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: very good, like he will hold it in until his
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: morning walk. Right?
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: Does a pool every morning, did poo? Yes, clockwork, light, clockwork? Right?
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: Has he got a spot?
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: Got a Spot's a little patch of lawn outside this
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: guy's house. It's like new turf. Had the house renovated?
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: A bust is like that's my spot totally. And then
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: this morning feeding the kids breakfast, and Nana was like, oh,
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: where was it over there? And I look over and
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: buses just squatting on the fucking carpet.
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: Why do they choose the carpet?
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: So I pushed him onto the floorboards and he was like, oh,
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: got three legs. And then as he was like taking
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: little steps, just bits of poo were fucking coming in.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: And then I got a little bit angry at Nana
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: because I was like, well, I'll pick up the fucking
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: bits of poop. And Nana was like stop and I
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: was like what for, and I'd like I'd already begun.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: It was like, you know, little nuggets. He's a big dog.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: He's a big dog, very stinky boy. And I was like,
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: I'm going to pick up the pooh? What what do
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: you mean? Just trying to cut swearing out, Do I
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: swear it now? No guilty? And then she goes, don't
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: pick it up because then you don't know where the
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: poo is to clean it up. That's a good point,
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: very good point. And I was like, what do you mean?
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: And then I looked down and I was like.
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: Oh god, yeah, I always leave like a little smear
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: so I can come back to it. Like my dog
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: last night, shit shit in the house.
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: What storm?
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: She does? Like a storm? She vibrates when the storms
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: come on. She's so anxious.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like Buster does as well.
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: I like, I think I did a video a while
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: ago where I was it's going to turn my dog
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: on to vibrate.
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: So where did she ship? In the kitchen?
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: But after I'd just taken her out for a ship
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: that's that's rude.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: Fucking annoying. But yeah, just a little smear.
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: Come back with the anti bacterial wife and being a
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: sh a job.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: A Buster Like since then, he's been like so guilty,
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. I know, and I'm like, it's fine,
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: we'll get over a Buster. And Laura is like, can
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: you just tell him that it's going to be okay,
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: And I was like, he doesn't know, Yeah, he doesn't know.
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: He probably probably think if you're like, it's going to
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: be okay, you probably think, why are you still angry
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: with me?
• 3:24
  Speaker 5: Yeah?
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, God he's getting he's getting old thirteen years thirteen
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: and your housekeeping ash.
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: My favorite new favorite segment, What do you got?
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: It's fucking dirty? Sorry, yeah, I did drums everywhere. I
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: don't want to say it's the only time his table
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: is a clean when we fucking did this podcast.
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: Because when you start to talk about something you like,
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: so let me tell you that something crumbs everywhere.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: Shit, quick update? Did my movie?
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: Oh?
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yes, how did you go that?
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: You had two lines?
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: A couple of little mistakes that I made in those
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: two lines. Well, look, look I got a few details wrong.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: I didn't let anyone know on set that I had
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: got the details wrong. But I thought it was good.
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: I thought I was doing a comedy. I thought it
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: was a comedy film.
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: Okay, what are the lines that you did? You delivered?
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: Well, it's called The Killings, okay. And then I was
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: getting get ready, getting dressed, and they're like you excited
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: about doing this? And I was like, yeah, you know,
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: it's gonna be a lot of fun. And they're like, yeah,
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: I gave it a bit of fun. And I was like,
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: how's it been and like, yeah, it's been pretty full
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: on and I was like, oh, why what's happened? There's
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: like so much death. Everyone dies gruesome deaths in this film.
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: Do you die? No? Sadly, I don't. I know, I know,
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: very annoyed. But it's a hectic horror like it's on
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: par with as gruesome as like a sore type movie.
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: Australian made, Australian made.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I thought it was set in the eighties, which
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: is why I had the mustache. Yeah, and you're a cop.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: That's what I wanted to be, Like, a is this
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: what ide to clean shave? You're like nope, yeah, and
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: I was like, no, it's eighties. It's not eighties current day.
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, you've been misinformed.
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: Very misinformed. And then it's not like you. I didn't
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: have a character name. I was just desk Cop. That
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: was my name. And because it's the main characters are cops,
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: I learned the wrong scene. There's a different desk cop.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: And so we did a rehearsal and they're like scene
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: thirty four and I was like, that's me. And then
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: people were saying their lines and I was like, how
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: the fuck are we what are we learning here? And
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: then they were like, and I don't know if you've
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: been on a film set ash there's a lot of people. Yeah,
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: a lot of people, a lot of cameras. Yeah, pressure, yeah,
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: I get it.
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: And then they're like the director's like, it's your line, Matt,
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: and I was like, they're like flicking through the screen
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: and the main character and Nain's Heather Mitchell. She's very
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: experienced in the film industry in Australia. It's a big deal.
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: She was like, it's okay, sweetie.
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: How old is she?
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: She's a child.
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: Actually sixty six okay, so it's been around the trap
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: at least at least she's much older and she can
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: go like it kind of plays it off.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: So it was a little bit stressful. Oh we got
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: it done.
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: Okay, what were you lines? The line is one line?
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: You've been cut down one line. And then I was
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: in the bullpin. I think it's cool, yeah, cool, Yeah,
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: someone has been arrested a few times.
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: Don't you need to tell everyone that?
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: But yep, I always meant to be in the bullpin.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: But then they were like, oh, actually it makes sense
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: if he's gone, and.
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: It makes sense if you just got back in his
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: car and drove home.
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: Also, I was like, there was a couple of extras
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: and I was kind of with them, Oh.
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: You've been pushed into the extrasile.
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: And there was even another guy and he was trying
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: to get in on He was on the whiteboard in
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: the back of the scene. And then it was ruthless.
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: He was doing one scene and they were.
• 7:02
  Speaker 5: Like, whiteboard boy, get out. Ah, you're too confusing. You're
• 7:07
  Speaker 5: distracting the scene. It was cutthroat in there, dude. So
• 7:10
  Speaker 5: my line was set the scene for me. There's an
• 7:14
  Speaker 5: old detective who has come in. She's retired, but she
• 7:17
  Speaker 5: was a cop.
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: Can I be that old detective? Yeah, I'll deliver that line.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: Actually, you'll be the inspector. You'll be the inspector who's
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: a current detective. And this old detective has made like
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: I've met her at reception and she's like, I need
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: to go and speak to the detective. And I'm like, okay, well,
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: like I'll bring you in the detective. Who's you. You're
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: trying to solve a case, you're very stressed, and you'll
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: do that and you turn around and you go, who's this.
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: That's it? Yeah, Okay, so I'm gonna give you a
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: little actors tip here to look stressed, just look annoyed. Yeah,
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: same thing. Who is it?
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: Sorry, inspector. This woman insisted on speaking with you.
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: Very good end scene.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: Wow, very good. That's good. But I was I went
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: to the director and I was like, am I a
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: bit nervous when I am? I am I afraid of
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: being in trouble? Like, what's the how am I? What's
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: my emotion behind the line? And he was like, it's
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: a fucking line, bro work it out. I thought it
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: was a comedy. Come down, It's gonna be a great film.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: I can't wait.
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: He and he just realized full of dark film when
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: you're just like, what.
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: The full Jerry Signfeld. But it was. It was fun
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: to be on set. Yeah, it takes a long time
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: to film one line. Six hours, six hours. I didn't
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: it was a lot of talking was done by the
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: other characters.
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, so we just got to see it. I
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: was just that food jack bite.
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: It's like a pork stir fry. They had that, just
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: like Jamaican fish cinnamon scrolls. To the catering team, I
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: was like, Bravo, Chef's kiss yeah, like this is I
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: guess what Coddy's cordial.
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: And not for him that you have to have a
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: minimum of two lines.
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: I was. I was like, I was like, this is
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: gonna have some more than like of course, you know
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: when you eat something for so long, it tastes a
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: bit of ship. Yeah, whereas I so I think the
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: other actors were like fucking pork stuff again where I.
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: Was like, did they have a like what do they
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: call those rooms or it's just like snacks? Yes, oh
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: that's such an American thing.
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: They had chippies and was so good. It's great, very good, great,
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: thank you.
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: I can't wait to not see it. I just want
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: to watch your line because I don't do horror. I
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: don't know if you noticed, but I'm a big old
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: skarty cat.
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm not going to watch it, watch it. I
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: will watch it. Watch.
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: I love those parodies of people being like what they
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: should have done that, and they're like we should just
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: stay one more night. They're like, why would we do that?
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: Let's go home?
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: Right?
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: Anyway, onwards with Housekeeping, my favorite segment, Matt, there's more
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: breaking news, breaking news, what have you got?
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: People will start listening to us for their news updates. Yeah,
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: we could do a separate news podcast. That's another story.
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: It's just social media news.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: Sorry. Yeah, breaking news.
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: A mother over in Florida, in America has given birth
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: to a record breaking baby. How much does that baby weigh?
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: Do you reckon what's normal?
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: I have no idea?
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: Nine inches? I have no idea.
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: Someone said to my own friend had a baby the
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: other day and he was like, yeah, it was X,
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: this and this many pounds.
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: I was like, what does any of that mean? I
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: don't I don't take noe of the details. I think
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: back in the day, they're like, how many pounds? What
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: is she? Whereas I think Poppy was. I think she
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: was three and a half. You could be wrong, or
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: you could do she was three and a half. People
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: are like how much did she weigh? And I'm like
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: I don't know, And they're like what and I don't
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: know how much she weighed? They're like, wrong with you?
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: Imagine if we spoke about adults like that. It's like
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: I was just with Map.
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: How much does he work? Give me his dimensions? Immediately,
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: I want to know how long he was, how big
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: was his head? A couple Yeah, okay, so I think
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: three and a half was poppy. I want to say.
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: KOs or pounds.
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: That was killers three and a half kilos. That's not right.
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: I've taken shits bigger than man. I don't doubt that
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: at all. I want to say his baby was double that.
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: I'll say seven forty year old mum Danielle.
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: Shout out to Danielle for pushing this bad boy. Yeut
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: had a c section. I take that back to pull
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: out the baby. Ann who a record? How much six
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: point three killers?
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: You're closed? That's six again?
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: I don't know that is that big?
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: It must be big record break.
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: The Guinness World Record reports that the heavy baby born
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: to a healthy mother. Just add that in there was
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: a boy way ten point two kilo who was born
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: in Italy nineteen fifty five.
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: It's a lot of pasta.
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: That is a lot of That is a lot of pasta.
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: Wow, six three that's good. You've got to be happy
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: with that if you're the mum, right like, that's a
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: badge of honor.
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: Six points you push yet well again, didn't push it out,
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: but still hey hey hey, still carrying that around?
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: Carrying that around, that's like a bowling ball. Imagine a
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: bowling ball. Yeah, hotchine, that weighing you're down.
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: Fucking At what point during that pregnancy they were like,
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: this is going to get heavy?
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah? When do they start to say, hey, we want
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: to manage your expectations here, this thing is going to
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: fuck this way. It's going to weigh you down.
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: It's going to be a fucking giant baby. That is big.
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: I think anywhere over five kilos is a decent a
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: decent effort.
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: I love how we have no idea about now. We're like,
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: you knowing anything over five kilos and you know you're
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: on doing about singer it's huge.
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: Just for context, please, I want to just give you
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: some items that do weigh the same for the listener
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: as well, that is six around six kilos. Vacuum cleaner,
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: imagine car, imagine carrying around a vacuum cleaner, Henry or
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: probably one of those old what do they call them,
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: morm hoover, A hoover, that's a hoover. Six pineapples, spiky,
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: a mini fridge off mini fridge to find mini fridge?
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: How many are we talking?
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: Six kilos?
• 13:37
  Speaker 3: Minn?
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: I don't get heye is it?
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: Daniella Daniel?
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: What a woman three MacBook pros and the last one
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: a bowling ball. Yeah that is big anyway, congratulations.
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: You wouldn't want to push that out, would you? You know,
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: medically you'd recommend.
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: I wonder if because the other the other one was
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: ten point two kilos in nineteen fifty five.
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: I think that wouldn't.
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: Have been a C section.
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: They when was the sea section invented?
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: Now be late the day after?
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: What?
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: Wait?
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: What first documented sea section wasn't that fifteen hundred's? What?
• 14:13
  Speaker 5: Yeah?
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: Do they have ebie girrels? It was done by Julius Caesar.
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: That's how they got the Caesar salad?
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: Are they named the Caesars? Very good?
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: Wow, I've got a hack for you. Oh I like that.
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: I like the sound.
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: Just quickly be like last little note in housekeeping. We
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: have had this sent through by Shari, and she's got
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: a hack. We love a hack. What do we love
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: more than any type of hack?
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: Food?
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: Dinner? Kid?
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: Oh god, I feel like a food salesman in my
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: own house.
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: How do I You're gonna love this dish? Go go
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: on give it to me. I think this is very good.
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: Hey, Hey, I hope you don't mind a voice message.
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: It's much quicker than typing.
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: So our dinner time hack with three little boys is
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: three different sizes of dessert. Anywhere ever finishes first gets
• 15:04
  Speaker 3: to choose, and then the next person gets to choose,
• 15:08
  Speaker 3: and then the next person gets stuck with the smallest obviously.
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: So yeah, we're not sitting around at the table for
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: an hour, none of that.
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's geese. Oh my god. Yeah, okay,
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: My only issue with this, And I'd love to speak
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: to Sari if you're listening, answer this question. Please, do
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: you have a meltdown? Because Lola is a slow, slow,
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: slow eater. Yeah, Marley is a fast eater. Is there
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: a handicap? Is there a handicap? Like do you start
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: one child first? So it's more of an even race,
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: because I would worry that Lola will when she figures
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: out that she's like halfway through and she looks the meal,
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: she looks at her plate, looks at Marley's plate, she goes, fuck,
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to win this one. Marley's got She's.
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: Like flying to separate them.
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, but don't you but you're also want them
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: to be like feeding off each other, no pun intended.
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: Sure, Yeah, that's a good count.
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: Do your kids when they know they're gonna lose, do
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: they either forfeit the race or do they have a meltdown?
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because I just go with that. If you finish,
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: you get you. You get one of these old school
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: old Macy's like still thinks she's getting it when she
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: doesn't eat, so she she'll melt down every night.
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: Last night and she's got half a bowl left, and
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: you're like, just one more mouthful. I know, I gave
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: just lick the past that and I'll give you a treat.
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: Just walking it for three seconds and it's yours, it,
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: it's yours.
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly right. And like last night, I was like,
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: you're gonna eat this chicken? She's like no, I'm like,
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: give it to the dog. And then gave it to
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: the dog. She was finished the cucumber, the lord and
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: savior of every meal, and she goes, can I have
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: a treat? I was like, what do you think? She
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: was like, I ate it all.
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: I was like no, no, no, no, no. The fucking dog
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: and eating a drumstick right literally, look down there, let's
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: see the dog bowl.
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: The dog's eating it right now. You ate the cucumber, You're.
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: Not getting and she's like, what are you talking about?
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: She's yeah, I know, but the cucumber I know. And
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: then if I try and introduce something new, I'm like
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: a fucking cast salesman again, do you what?
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: I sometimes say, this is my little hack. Okay, okay,
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: I'm so full you'll die if you don't eat. I'm
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: so full I cannot eat another mouthful. I couldn't possibly.
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: So if you can't eat another mouthful, what hope in
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: the hell do you have of eating any dessert? If
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: you're that full that you can't eat any more, then
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: I don't want to put you through the ordeal of
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: trying to eat dessert. Fair. That is fair, and the
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: kids are like, fuck, it's got me. But then it's
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: also a bit confusing where I'm like, so you eat
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: more and then you get dessert? That what? Yeah?
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: Anyway, it's very it's a mind field.
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: But that's pretty good.
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: I think turning anything into a competition is usually work,
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: especially when you got She says she had had three boys.
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: Three boys, three boys.
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: There you go all that much, that's going to be
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: you're really setting Actually, if I'm gonna get real deep here,
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: you're really setting up for a very competitive household down
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: the track, yes, which I don't know they might be
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: into that anyway, that's the end of housekeeping.
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: If you saw the other day on my socials, I
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: put a little picture of Oscar in his jiu jitsu
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: outfit because we had grading.
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: What is just really quickly, what is grading? I'm not
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: We don't do contact sport with are ballet dancers my end?
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: So what's jiujitsu grading? What is that?
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: So they get together on a day called the grading day,
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: which is they do it in like age groups, right,
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: so there's like four tal once a year every term.
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: I'm not sure yet, I apologize, I'm not sure yet,
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: which I'll find out, but essentially what happens is there's
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: four till seven in age grade groups, then there's like
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: eight till thirteen, and then it goes from thirteen into whatever.
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: So we did the Obviously Oscar's six, so he falls
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: from four to seven. So the four to seven and
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: then there's the slightly older kids do it at the
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: same time. So what they do it's kind of because
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: when you go, you don't it's a drop and go situation.
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: You're not allowed to stop.
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: And watch normally or on grading day, not on a
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: normal lesson.
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: So Oscar goes upstairs to the class. I don't see
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: anything he does. The first time he goes, I get
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: to watch. But then the other.
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: Time why do they do that?
• 19:16
  Speaker 5: Do you think?
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: One, and then.
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: Maybe people have a little bit like of a like
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: I don't but yeah, I don't want you watching my kid.
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: You know that sort of thing should be because I
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: don't know, I don't know the nuts and bolts of it.
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: But anyway, so it was an opportunity for them to
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: they do. They all get there at a certain time.
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: They do like the warm up they would do as
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: a big groups, and you get to watch and see
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: the sort of things.
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: Is he an outfit? Was he wearing free clothes?
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: No? It's full full kid, full kid.
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: What's the kid cost?
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: It's a few hundred what?
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, for the kid. It's like a ninety. It's a robe,
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: isn't it? No?
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: No, it's a kimono.
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry. So it's a rude of me, yes, very
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: rood of you. It's like special pants.
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: They've got like a special shirt with the jacket and
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: the belt that goes around. When you say special it's
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: like special too, martial arts, Like it's not like you
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: just walking with your leather jacket and be like, oh.
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: It's special at that's a lot of money. It is
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: a lot of money. But I'll tell you one's making
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: a lot of money here.
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: Because I don't get to watch him. I don't really
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: get to see what he's up to. Can I just say,
• 20:27
  Speaker 2: different kid? Completely different kid. It is unbelievable the amount
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: of self control. He sat there for an hour and
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: a half, still sat still.
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: For an hour and a half. Is my kid breathing? Yeah?
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: I was like, what the heck, I've lost Oscar. I
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: can't find him.
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: And I was talking to the head teacher yesterday and
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: he was like, he was like, people don't understand. People
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: just think it's a martial arts a contact sport, right,
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: which it is, and there's a lot of technique and
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: all this stuff that goes into it. But he was like,
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: people to understand how good it is for your kid.
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: The discipline, the discipline, I believe it. I was like
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: what And then they called him up. They were calling
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: everyone up. And that's the thing, right when it comes
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: to award shows or remember award assemblies at school and
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: it was like, get on with it. If I'm not
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: getting anything, I don't fucking care, right, And you're like,
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: especially a six year old sitting still for an hour
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: and a half, is n't heeard of.
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you one by one bucking the kids out
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: your own time out O.
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: The kids that weren't that were like not quite as focused,
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: And I was like, the heck's going on here? And
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: then they call they call you out and like, the
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: thing is you got you get striped before your belt
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: goes up in color, so you get X amount of stripes.
• 21:44
  Speaker 2: Don't ask me. I don't know how many?
• 21:47
  Speaker 3: Do you know?
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: I was going to ask that I just can tell,
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: and I was at ape. I'm like, don't ask, Yeah,
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I'll be like, before I tell you this,
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: I'm going to tell you all the information that I have.
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: Just so we're clear, you don't ask me the question.
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: Dig yeah, no more, dig, I don't know. Put the
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: shovel down.
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: At the time I finished this sentence, you'll know as
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: much as me. That's fair, right, Sorry, Okay, so when
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: I finished this, you'll live as cludeing as I am. Anyway,
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: So then they go they give you the stripes and
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: then so they start with this the lower gradings before
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: they go into like the kids are like the black belt,
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: Well they're not quite there. It's sort of like there's
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: a lot of colors before it's a lot. Yeah. Yeah,
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: And then they sort of were rattling off, who's up,
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: Who's up, and then they called Oscar. Kid just got up,
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: walked over, shook all their hands, got his thing, turned around,
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: posed for a photo, went back and sat down.
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: No, like, no, little ninja. Yeah, none of this.
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: Shake his hand, come on, shake his hand, smile for
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: the folk. None of that ship that I'm doing it
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: any other situations.
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: I think they've just been like teaching the kids that
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: process the whole year. Don't watch the classes. Well he
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: did all the warm up and stuff and actually fight.
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and there was doing the thing and I was like, yeah,
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: so I was just and then I was yeah, I
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: was talking to the teacher yesterday and he was like, it's.
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: Here's a star pupil and You're like, my Oscar.
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: He was like, it's it's crazy that like it's the
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: misconception around the martial arts with kids. It's like, oh
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: my kid fighting. The discipline is unbelievable.
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: It sounds like you're in a cult, the misconceptions. All
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: you have to do is pay a one off fee
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: and then every month the heads are shaved.
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: Weird, No, but yeah, anyway, So shout out to the
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: Checko jiu jitsu for straightening the boy out because I
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: can't believe.
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: And he's like frothing.
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: Yes. I took him back for his normal class and
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: he into it comes down beating up kids upstairs. Bloody
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: loves it.
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: Are you going to go next year? Resign?
• 23:54
  Speaker 4: Oh?
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: He'll continue. Yeah. Marley's like, I never want to dance again,
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: and I've just it's funny, bit dramatic. I just spent
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: like a hundred bucks on your like concert outfit. Tomorrow
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: I've got to take it to rehearsal. Then the Saturday
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: morning is the concert and she's like, I hate dance.
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: I'm like, people are like, don't force your kids into
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: things that don't like she was obsessed.
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah wow, yeah, like there's something that's happened. You need
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: to get to the nuts.
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: And is it the ballet? I don't know. Do I
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: put her into an interpretive jazz hip hop martial arts?
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: I was, you know what I was playing with them
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: yesterday I was doing scrum like touch and paws engaged.
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: They love that, Yeah, rugby, I was thinking that.
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, because I watched Oscar so Oscar
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: goes with Lenny, which is a little mate, and when
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: we were away the other weekend, Oscar and Lenny were
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: playing foot in the backyard, just one v one classic
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: kid stuff, and you could tell it was getting heated.
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: And I was like, well, heck, this is how we
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: settle this a fight.
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: But I was like, not got quite blatantly like that.
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: You're like, don't worry, I've got this. I've got this.
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: Who's a knife billy.
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: At first, I was like, do you guys need to
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: fight this out? And I was like yeah, oh.
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: Because it's just he's got his double stripe. He's likefore that.
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: Lenny's in the same class. So I was like, why
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: don't we jiu jitsu this out?
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: Literally?
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: Oscar leg swoops Lenny, right, she can't do.
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: That out, So you're meant to be teaching him disciplined.
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: Otherwise it's harmless. He'll start leg sweeping kids in the
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: playground timeless.
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: I said to him, you don't do this unless you're
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: in the correct control environment.
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: You kids need to fight this out. That's pretty much
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: what I said.
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Anyway, he leg sweeped and Lenny's big, He's a
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: bigger kid because of the weight. He changed the weight distribution,
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: flipped and landed on top of Lenny, on top of him,
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: and I was like, wow, now I'm scared in my
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: own home. I'm like, I got these little ninja kids
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: running around my house.
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: Asks is calling, which is great.
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: Well, the teachers like he's built for this.
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: See okay me. Now, I don't know if it's a
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: dad thing, but anything my kids do that somehow closy
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: relates to a sport. Like if they climb a tree,
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, gymnast, I'm that rock climber. I'm trying
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: to like look at anything they do, the way they behave,
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: the way they move, and I'm just cross referencing it
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: against sport to try and like she jumps in the
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: pool and I'm like, Olympic diver.
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah straight up, Well you're going to the Olympics twenty fifty.
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: You're going to be there.
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I was like having a little wrestled with Lola,
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: and I was like, she couln't be wrestling. Yeah, Rugby.
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: Is that Lola Rugby? Do you think she could? Yeah,
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: it's my job. It's my duty to find out what
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: my kid's passion is. What it's sport, and that's fine,
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: is it? That's that's absolutely okay, whether it's arts and crafts,
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: extreme arts.
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: Oh, anyway, that's what I'm dealing with.
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: Ash. Yeah, I've had like some weird experiences lately in
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: the park parks.
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: You really shouldn't be there in the middle of the
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: night for starters. I know what they're about.
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: That makes it, Laura, I'm going for a walk looking
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: at it.
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: Looking for the pregnant women with their feet out.
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: Come on, bring that belly over here. As a classic
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: line from you, people don't understand people who may be
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: joining us for the first time.
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: Matt's got a pregnancy kink. No solved any confusion.
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: You're the one who had the information about feet rubs
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: increasing love by twenty three percent Instagram. Were you just
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: feeding me information that you think I want to hear?
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well, the algorithm is already picking up on what
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: we're talking about and use it.
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: Bring that belly and feet over here. No, I've had
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: two things that have been weird. Okay, one was was
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: at the park of the day and it was a Sunday,
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: quite busy in the park, and I stay outside. So
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: a few kids out there playing really said the name
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: for me like this, And there was a section where
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: there was a sand pit. I want to say, there's
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: about six kids scattered throughout this area.
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: And the worst things are terrible, terrible.
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: And down at Bondeo Beach there's always a few birds around.
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: Can I trobably keep going? Can I just run a
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: really quick idea by you? Absolutely panetic sandpit?
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: Write down?
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: Mean you know the kinetic sand, the scientific sand that
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: all sticks together and it forms the shape. Make that
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: into a sand pit. That way doesn't come home with you,
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: It stays with its sand. Fellow friends, I.
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: Don't think I've ever been in contact with a kinetic sandpit.
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: Well, there isn't one. I mean, this is an idea
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: I've got.
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: Very good, Thank you. We should start and in Bondi
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: we only have kinetic sad.
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: We're going out for a seafood and and some kinetic sandplay.
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: What do you call this? That's knetic sand? Do you
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: have him in all the beaches? White sand? Very good kid,
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: I want to say, she was about six years old.
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: She was like, you know, looking at the pigeons, a
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: couple of pigeons about because you know, kids have snacks,
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: the corn thins. It's like a feeding frenzy. It's a
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: buffet for birds. And next thing, I look down and
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: she's caught a pigeon. Child. She's holding the pigeon and
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: the pigeon has gone nuts. A pigeon it's like flapping about.
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: Oh my god. This she is just like as calm
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: as can be, just like holding it. And then eventually
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: the bird flies away and she's holding like a tuft
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: of feathers. She washed her hands, and then the mother
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: got up and I was like, okay, how is the
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: mother going to react here? And the mother was like
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: telling her what she did wrong? How to catch another one?
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: Was it?
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: Terry Owen?
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: What the fuck? What's weird? Isn't it strange? Okay? I
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: was like, did she stalk the p pryor no?
• 30:01
  Speaker 6: Why?
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: I think she didn't even have any bait. The pigeons
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: were just so comfortable around the presence of kids because
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: I think after a while they'd been eating and that
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: they were like nothing here is non threatening.
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: Have you ever caught a bird.
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: No, it's fucking hard. Do you know why? Because they
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: fly this kid and the mother was like, this is
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: a sport, and all the parents in the park were
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: looking around like what the fuck?
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: I know, I wonder what sport? Her dad's trying to
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: push it.
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: To its Yeah, right, I was like, what is going on?
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: But no beach, of all places, not amongst the kinetic sand.
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: And then the second thing that happened to me a
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: few days later at the park, the one down downhill
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: down the road. So it's where it's like a few
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: roads meet up, but then there's a park in the middle.
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: How do you think that park came about?
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: I wonder that. Yeah, because there's all these roads that
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: lead it's like a five way intersection.
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: That's town plan was like, you know what, just put
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: a park there round about? No stupid, so random.
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: So I'm riding through on the electric bike, and what
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: I'm very aware of is I'm going through a footpath.
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: I don't want to be. I don't want to be
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: one of those people that goes too fast. There's young kids.
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: And also are you allowed to ride your bike on footprint?
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: I'm not sure, probably not, but they just should. I dismount.
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: Maybe nah, but I just go. I'm going like under
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: ten k's very slowly. I'm going through, very considerate to
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: the other people. So I enter the park on the footpath,
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: going very slowly. Ahead of me, about fifteen meters is
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: a young child and he's holding a water pistol. I'm
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: not sure if you've seen the semi automatic water pistols.
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: Are they the ones that TikTok kis trying to push
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: to me? It was like, shut up, I thought that.
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: I thought it was ai, dude.
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: So buy one. They're great. So he's shooting kids. Right
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: as I'm approaching, he looks up like a ding ding.
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: He looks up, locks eyes with me, and he goes
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: and for those wondering, I'm using finger gun finger guns
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: pointed directly at ash and I was like, sure, this
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: little kid's not gonna shoot me, little ship. Do you
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: know what he needs?
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: Jiu jitsu? That's what fucking kids needs.
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: I was getting spright. How old was this? I want
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: to say he was about five and he knew what
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: he was doing. I knew he was doing. And then
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: there was beyond him was a dad and I was
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: kind of looking at the dad as I'm getting shot
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: and then as I go past the kid, the dad
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: goes not my kid. I just don't. I was like,
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: probably was his child was going to be like shooting sun.
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: But also like they have like the promotion of guns
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: in at like at there's no guns in my house,
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: no guns, no other.
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: Than you, other than the fly gun, the NERF gun.
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: We did have a NERF gun face, but the semi
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: automatic water pistol, no, no, no, no, someone could drown.
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: I had cycled beyond away from the park, being like
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: like should I have should I have hoped? I laughed
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: it off, but I was like, yeah, it was dread.
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: That's fair enough. That's rogue children. What's wrong with them?
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: What is wrong with them?
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: What is absolutely wrong with these kids?
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: Speaking of water, we went to the zoo.
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: The other day, okay, and we all know one of
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: the better shows is what Louis the seal show?
• 33:49
  Speaker 7: You had that in the chamber because we went to
• 33:52
  Speaker 7: the zoo that time up near the Central coast and
• 33:55
  Speaker 7: they had meet Louis at the zoo. Do you remember
• 33:57
  Speaker 7: I was a reptile parks different, it's a zoo ripped,
• 34:01
  Speaker 7: It's they wanted a point of difference a case and
• 34:03
  Speaker 7: they put they.
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: Had, you know, the reptiles wen enough for the kids,
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: so they had Bluey there, so I.
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: Thought, big scary Bluey on stage. So a very good
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: show at Taronga Zoo is the Seal, This Seal show
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: and it's someone someone say it's iconic.
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: May went when she went after school care for the holiday.
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: They took them, they took him and she loved the Seal.
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: It's a great show, raving about it, brilliant. There's a
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: section of the Seal show though, which is about conservation
• 34:30
  Speaker 2: and what not to do. And it's sad music. What's
• 34:33
  Speaker 2: the song I'm thinking of? You know that I built
• 34:36
  Speaker 2: a home song?
• 34:37
  Speaker 4: What is it?
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: I built it?
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: I built a home, bill a home.
• 34:45
  Speaker 5: For you?
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: This one?
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: Okay?
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: That song?
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: So it's quite a sad song.
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: They want you to pay a tea.
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: They play that song. They play a song and the.
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: Seal reenacts what would happen?
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: Who was producing this seal shot at the zoo? Steven Spielberg.
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: Steven Sielberg.
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: If they don't have a seal at Taronga Zoo named
• 35:13
  Speaker 2: Stephen Sielberg, I am going to protest.
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: Anyway. They had that part.
• 35:21
  Speaker 2: Of the show where a seal sort of because they're
• 35:24
  Speaker 2: very smart animals, Matthew, they're also related to the dog
• 35:27
  Speaker 2: what yeah, learning heaps. Yeah, right, anyway, they're saying what
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: can happen if you litter in the ocean. It's quite
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: a moving piece to most except for Macy.
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: What happened?
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: She didn't quite understand the context, so she was like,
• 35:47
  Speaker 2: this is boring, yeah, because everyone's.
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: Quiet, but we're here a pin drop.
• 35:56
  Speaker 2: We're all in awe of the first of all of
• 35:59
  Speaker 2: the allent that this seal has and the directive, the
• 36:03
  Speaker 2: directive they've received from Stephen Silberg, the music choice and
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: the message behind it. Great, she's meant to be like
• 36:12
  Speaker 2: her engaging learning moment heartfelt. And Macy was like, can
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: I pick a song? Fucking Jesus Christ.
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: And she was like, this is the same Mazie that
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: while you were in Fiji of Tu looking at a
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: tribe eating oreos.
• 36:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and there's these poor starving children. But okay, take that,
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: mat not starving, they eat off the land.
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: Different.
• 36:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, asking for the wi Fi I've created monster you have.
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: So she's sitting on my lap anyway, she's so bored
• 36:44
  Speaker 2: with the whole thing. She's kicking the people in front
• 36:46
  Speaker 2: of her.
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 36:48
  Speaker 2: The notable note was like.
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, literally, get over that. I was like, Jesus Christ,
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: what did you do? Well, There's nothing I could do.
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: We just had to endure it because then when you like,
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: come on, you gotta be quiet, honey tell me Yeah.
• 37:04
  Speaker 2: Kicks off and it gets to the end where they
• 37:07
  Speaker 2: talk about where you should shop for fish, right, like
• 37:10
  Speaker 2: what like what you should look out for when chopping fish,
• 37:12
  Speaker 2: which is like the emblem on the fish packet that's
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: so so from a renewable source. It's not from a
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: farm fish. Fucking bab bah bah bah. I had no idea,
• 37:21
  Speaker 2: Now you do. It gets really quiet like that, and
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: then everyone's sort of like quiet thinking about the situation
• 37:31
  Speaker 2: and makes you just bites down on a rice cracker.
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: And I was like, who go with the rice cracker?
• 37:43
  Speaker 2: She got it from Oscar anyway? She was just like
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: and then an upbeat music song came on.
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: She was like, yeah, no bag, now I'm back. Where
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: are the mermaids?
• 37:54
  Speaker 2: Was like, for sake, anyway, that's my insensitive daughter.
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: Can't take her anywhere. You can't know, Ash, It is
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: time for.
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: Tell me love, tell thet live.
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: I'll go first. I got one from Monica first.
• 38:13
  Speaker 2: Because I've got my own that I saw that I've
• 38:15
  Speaker 2: stumbled across that.
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: I thought, you've got a lie.
• 38:18
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to take credit for it, but I've
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: just noticed a.
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: Credit away man. For those of you who are just
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: joining us for the first time, potentially new listeners are
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: parenting lies. The lies like a little white lies that
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: we tell our kids victimless to just make parenting a
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: little bit easier, because it is the hardest job in
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: the world. Well said, other than training seals, Steven Sielberg,
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: how do you reckon sealed? Trainers must be great parents.
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: Oh, they'd be outstanding, although I don't know if children
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: would like raw fish there he is might be confusing
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: Ashwicks everybody.
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: This one is from Monica and she says her kids
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: are obsessed with the TV, aren't they all.
• 39:01
  Speaker 2: I'm still obsessed and I'm in my thirties.
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: But when it comes time to turning it off, she
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: becomes the bad guy and a huge meltdown follows. This
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: is you just taking snapshot to my life. So she
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: has started to turn the TV's sleep timer on for
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: fifteen or thirty minutes and tells the kids that the
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: TV will turn off when it needs to rest, otherwise
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: it won't turn on next time. So now when the
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: TV turns itself off, the kids just accept it that
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: it's tired. They go about their day, no tantrums. I'm
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: no longer the bad guy, she says. And they worry
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: that if they watch it for too long, it'll get
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: too tired and stop working.
• 39:40
  Speaker 2: Genius when when I love that, I've got a similar
• 39:43
  Speaker 2: version to that, but it's with April because she falls
• 39:46
  Speaker 2: asleep in front of the TV in the bedroom. But
• 39:48
  Speaker 2: I've set the timer because what happens is she falls
• 39:52
  Speaker 2: asleep and she doesn't know how the TV turns off,
• 39:54
  Speaker 2: and I'm just like, oh, I know, I've got the tire.
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: How long do you think she lasts in bed watching TV?
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: How long did you like, good, say thank you? Ages?
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: Oh the time is like forty five minutes or something,
• 40:11
  Speaker 2: and she's always asleep.
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: She's our car winning there last night. I was like,
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: she is, that's very dad askue of her love of mine.
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: I'm still watching it.
• 40:21
  Speaker 2: She complains that her pillows are too comfy.
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: Good problem to have. What's your life? My life?
• 40:27
  Speaker 2: So I stumbled across. I stumbled across because we just
• 40:31
  Speaker 2: had Halloween, which we know that kids get lollies candy.
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: This will come out.
• 40:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, this is a week ago. But this is just
• 40:39
  Speaker 2: really quick. But I saw that everyone sort of.
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: Like doing this. Sorry the reference Halloween.
• 40:47
  Speaker 2: Yes, so it's a Halloween, right, A couple of weeks ago,
• 40:50
  Speaker 2: A couple of weeks ago, we just had it. I
• 40:52
  Speaker 2: hate it.
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: Sorry, start fresh, sorry, okay.
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: Far out as we know. A couple of weeks ago,
• 40:57
  Speaker 2: we had Hallow one week ago. Shut up, shut your mouth,
• 41:01
  Speaker 2: shut your mouth right now, we just had Halloween in
• 41:05
  Speaker 2: the undisclosed amount of time ago.
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: Is that better? Whn't I just leave a blank spot?
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: You can add two weeks for people who may not know.
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: We record this a week in advance.
• 41:22
  Speaker 2: I think we've already We're already spilt the beans.
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: We got the new listeners.
• 41:25
  Speaker 2: Bro Okay, so I saw from the other week when
• 41:31
  Speaker 2: we had Halloween.
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: Does that work for you?
• 41:33
  Speaker 2: Thank you good, because it works for me. And I
• 41:36
  Speaker 2: saw a video of a lady going through her kid's
• 41:40
  Speaker 2: handy bucket to be safe, but I realized she was
• 41:44
  Speaker 2: going through it to check if there was any poison.
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: But she was picking out one particular chocolate that was
• 41:52
  Speaker 2: in their kids basket because she wanted it. That's very good,
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: because this one's got poison. This, this one's got poison.
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: This one. Oh, there's poison in that one. It's like
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: the Mars bars. It's really poisonous, that one.
• 42:08
  Speaker 2: So that I thought that was genius, very very good.
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: I tried to implement it.
• 42:13
  Speaker 2: Too many lollipops in that.
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: Anyway.
• 42:16
  Speaker 2: That's my last funny.
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: Just speaking of Halloween, which may have been one or
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: two weeks ago. I fucking woke up and I was like, oh,
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: the kids are quiet, chowing down on their chocolate and lollies.
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: And I was like, you guilty motherfuckers, aren't they. I
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: walk in the room, they're like their father and I
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: was like, what are you guys doing? And they're like
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: hands behind their back, sitting on their bed. Oh nothing.
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: The colored tongue gets them. Every time we're just reading stories,
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: We're where are the books?
• 42:46
  Speaker 2: Ah?
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: And I was like, you guys are so dumb. I
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: actually know.
• 42:51
  Speaker 2: I actually I April actually got in trouble here because
• 42:55
  Speaker 2: it was so late at like we were late for
• 42:58
  Speaker 2: Bear and late for everything already. There some reason. I
• 43:00
  Speaker 2: don't know, but she had She had said, if you're
• 43:04
  Speaker 2: eating and you can have something out of your bucket
• 43:06
  Speaker 2: and I said nope. I said no, no, no, no, no,
• 43:09
  Speaker 2: no no, because April toddle off to bed and I'll
• 43:11
  Speaker 2: get stuck with these fucking kids high.
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: On sugar and makes two of us.
• 43:18
  Speaker 2: And I was like, no, no, tomorrow, you can tomorrow,
• 43:23
  Speaker 2: at a reasonable time, you can. And was like April
• 43:26
  Speaker 2: was like, okay, okay.
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: I went through a shower.
• 43:29
  Speaker 2: I came back and no Oscar came and said something
• 43:35
  Speaker 2: to me. Tongue was blue, idiot, I said to April,
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: I was like, you didn't give him any of their lollies?
• 43:44
  Speaker 1: Did you?
• 43:44
  Speaker 2: Like? No, I was like, why is oscars tongue blue?
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: Then genius, it just comes over and side kicks young shut.
• 43:52
  Speaker 2: Down anyway, Baja, I can't wait for the lollibucket to
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: be gone.
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: Ash, we have two questions. Okay, yes, Ash, the is questions.
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: They've actually been pulled pulled from the Facebook group, which
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: is just it's a great place to be it really is.
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: It is never had an angry or upset pair enough
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: spending time in the Facebook group.
• 44:13
  Speaker 2: We spam them.
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: This is from Nali Naylee. Unique name, isn't it? I
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: never heard that. I've never met a nale nayl like
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: Nalie namely. Good to have you here, Nellie? She says
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: baby on board sign for the car. I don't have one,
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: and wondering if I should. Some wanting people's thoughts. What's
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: the purpose?
• 44:37
  Speaker 2: First of all, do you have a baby that's in
• 44:38
  Speaker 2: that car? Good point, that's your first, that's my first.
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: Ques, just like, make sure you meet the criteria. Do
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: you think they like ask for proof when you buy
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: a baby sign?
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: She was a kid like, that's not yours.
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: That's a dog.
• 44:53
  Speaker 2: That's a dog.
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: Get out. Do you know why they have baby signs
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: on car?
• 44:57
  Speaker 2: No? Is it because you've got a baby in the car?
• 44:59
  Speaker 2: I could be the obvious.
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: I always thought it was. I thought it was an arrogance.
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: I don't know, like a flex I can appropreate. Look
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: at me, we have sex. The person driver this car
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: is someone who has sex.
• 45:17
  Speaker 2: I'm a sex ha over here. I am one of them.
• 45:22
  Speaker 2: I have proof. It is actually the only proof you
• 45:24
  Speaker 2: do have unless you're in porn. And if you're in
• 45:29
  Speaker 2: porn with kids, you've got two types of ideas you
• 45:31
  Speaker 2: hit that points of id.
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: I just thought it was like, I don't know. I
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: thought it was just because you're so proud you've had
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: a child. You're like, I'm a proud sex and you
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: want to you want to scream it from the hilltops.
• 45:44
  Speaker 2: I never thought about that though. I never thought of
• 45:46
  Speaker 2: it that way. I just thought, there's a baby in
• 45:48
  Speaker 2: this car. But then I also look at it and thinking,
• 45:50
  Speaker 2: what do you as someone who does just say, someone
• 45:52
  Speaker 2: who doesn't have a baby in the car sees your
• 45:54
  Speaker 2: car with a baby on boards on, what's the expectation
• 45:57
  Speaker 2: of me? Then, oh shit, a bit of slow down.
• 46:00
  Speaker 2: I'm not gonna run that car anymore. I might just
• 46:03
  Speaker 2: ease up a little bit. I'd like, don't tell me
• 46:05
  Speaker 2: what to do.
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: Started. I did think that as well, like should I
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: not drive too close? Or maybe maybe it's like a
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: learner sign, you know, how do you give them a
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: bit of can.
• 46:13
  Speaker 2: You use it as part of like telling someone off
• 46:15
  Speaker 2: on the roads like oh I.
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: Have a baby, I'm board That's what I thought. Maybe
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: what is the real reason. Well I looked at I
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: thought someone told me this reason. But then I looked
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: it up and it's like, officially not a reason, but
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: I always thought I think it was the first aid
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: class that I went to that people would put the
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: baby on board sign so that if you're in a
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: crash and the first responders come over and say there's
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: been like a six car pile up, and they're like,
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: who do we which car do we go first? Who
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: do they prioritize?
• 46:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I've got a counter argument though on that the baby.
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: So they're like, oh, baby on board sign, we'll get
• 46:56
  Speaker 1: this car, We'll save the baby first.
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: Okay, is that the actual reason someone said that?
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: That's what someone told me, and I'm going.
• 47:02
  Speaker 2: To debunk that real quick. Go on, And this is
• 47:04
  Speaker 2: why we did have one. The thing barely sticks to
• 47:07
  Speaker 2: the window. If it an accident, it's not going to
• 47:09
  Speaker 2: be visible anymore. It would fall when I put the
• 47:11
  Speaker 2: boot down, so I just ditched it.
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: That's where you're buying your signs from the old classic
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: baby on board sign shop. They said, you've got to like,
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: you've got to get franchises, man, you got to get
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: you're buying the budget signs. Bro, Okay, that's what that's
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: what you get.
• 47:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you don't don't come at me with that because
• 47:29
  Speaker 2: you know, I'm going to come back with you, and
• 47:30
  Speaker 2: you can't put.
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: A price on safety for your kids. Bro.
• 47:32
  Speaker 2: Apparently you can. But anyway go.
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: They said it's not official because they just look to
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: see where the babysits are.
• 47:39
  Speaker 2: That's apparently, okay, what's the what's the actual?
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: Well, that's I I before we start this record, I
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: was like, I'm going to tell you exactly why. But
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: as soon as we started recording, I looked at it
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: was like, actually, it's not official.
• 47:50
  Speaker 2: So there's no official legalities behind it. There's nothing behind it.
• 47:54
  Speaker 2: It's all like it's like essentially it's a bumper sticker
• 47:57
  Speaker 2: saying it's a.
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: Brag you will right, Oh my god, all.
• 48:02
  Speaker 2: Right, Matt's the stable across. Something sounds groundbreaking.
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: So apparently this is coming from a paramedic. Apparently they
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: would assess the situation. They wouldn't prioritize a baby. So
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: if someone's in like a burning car, like help, and
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: there's a car that's just like up on the curb
• 48:19
  Speaker 1: and there's a baby signed, they're not going to go
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: We'll get the baby first.
• 48:22
  Speaker 2: They won't do it.
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: They will not one second'll get the baby first because
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: they're more important. Please be quick. I'm burning alive right
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: now hopefully yeah, okay, sorry, yeah baby, first that would
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: that would they would give me put yourself out.
• 48:46
  Speaker 2: There's a baby that's unharmed over there. We need to
• 48:48
  Speaker 2: get that baby out.
• 48:49
  Speaker 1: Sorry forgive me.
• 48:51
  Speaker 2: They've got much longer to leave anyway.
• 48:54
  Speaker 1: So apparently, yeah, whoever needs the medical attention is who
• 48:59
  Speaker 1: gets it. Thank Kevin's no, thank goodness and goodness, the
• 49:02
  Speaker 1: paramedics know what's going on, and just been like, I'm
• 49:05
  Speaker 1: a sex hamer.
• 49:07
  Speaker 2: So you know, all right, I got a question.
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: So maybe maybe it is just the like it's a flex. Well,
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: whoever fucking came up with this sign, they must be
• 49:16
  Speaker 1: worth millions.
• 49:17
  Speaker 2: It's like those my family stickers, remember those ones?
• 49:21
  Speaker 1: What are they about? They just they were just like's
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: a flex? That was a flex?
• 49:24
  Speaker 2: But like, why would you want to brag about how
• 49:26
  Speaker 2: many kids you've got?
• 49:29
  Speaker 8: Yeah, it's like I'm a hot It's like going to
• 49:36
  Speaker 8: it's going like going to war. Like if you go
• 49:38
  Speaker 8: like you know, we'll badge.
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: If you're going to like active service in like Afghanistan,
• 49:43
  Speaker 1: you get like a little badge, you know. It's like
• 49:45
  Speaker 1: that's essentially what you get. But in family form.
• 49:48
  Speaker 2: There's a bunch of veterans out They're going, how I'm
• 49:51
  Speaker 2: not making comparison between raising a child and going to
• 49:55
  Speaker 2: like an active war zone.
• 49:56
  Speaker 1: It's pretty similar. Instead of take the out, instead of shells,
• 50:01
  Speaker 1: it's shit.
• 50:02
  Speaker 2: So it's similar.
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: I don't want to laugh.
• 50:05
  Speaker 2: Lest we forget. I have another question from the Facebook
• 50:08
  Speaker 2: group Believe it or not driving?
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: Its driving? We here four thousand members. Do you remember
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: when we first launched that Facebook group and we sat
• 50:18
  Speaker 1: on twenty members for like six months and we're like,
• 50:20
  Speaker 1: should we delete it?
• 50:21
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 50:22
  Speaker 1: Goodness, we didn't.
• 50:23
  Speaker 2: The day one is the day one of the die hards,
• 50:25
  Speaker 2: as I call them. Where are they now?
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: Reach out? We want to hear from They're now grandparents,
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: all right?
• 50:32
  Speaker 2: So this one is around specifically Christmas.
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: Just wants from Crystal. Hey, Crystal, Crystal with a christal
• 50:40
  Speaker 1: with a K joh only capital.
• 50:42
  Speaker 2: So Crstal, who's putting the Who's putting up the Christmas tree?
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: Is it?
• 50:49
  Speaker 2: Is it time already? Now? Halloween's over? Okay? Do you
• 50:54
  Speaker 2: put the Christmas tree out now? Or is there a
• 50:56
  Speaker 2: lag time between?
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: Now? When do you put it up? That's the question
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: that's Crystal's question. Okay, there are two ways of answering
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: this question, Matt before kids and Matt after kids. Matt
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: before kids would have said, you're crazy if you put
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: the Christmas tree up outside of December. I thought, like
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: December one, kind of following the advent calendar. Four weeks
• 51:18
  Speaker 1: before Christmas. You follow that rule. But now that I'm
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: a parent, okay, there is no greater reminder to the
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: kids to behave true then to have the Christmas tree
• 51:29
  Speaker 1: as a signal. That is just announcing that Sanna is
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: always watching.
• 51:34
  Speaker 2: Okay, okay, very bad.
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: I think rather than having to say don't forget Christmas
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: is coming up, the kids in misbehaving, you've got the
• 51:42
  Speaker 1: Christmas tree up. Point the tree. I'm with you, all right,
• 51:46
  Speaker 1: timmy good keep that shit up. You're not getting anything
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: under that tree. They are messy though, and you're getting
• 51:52
  Speaker 1: a real tree at the plastic one.
• 51:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, plastic one. There's little things they fall off.
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: There everywhere, what the little ornaments or the leaves.
• 51:59
  Speaker 2: There a little tiny little green that are fake leaf.
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: Then you buy your Christmas tree from the same shop
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: that you get the baby signs from.
• 52:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they stick to the back.
• 52:09
  Speaker 1: My tree is disintegrated.
• 52:11
  Speaker 2: If it was up to me, I would put it
• 52:13
  Speaker 2: up for Christmas Eve. But I'm coming but stop stop it.
• 52:19
  Speaker 2: I'm coming from a family we didn't have a Christians
• 52:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah I know. Yeah, so I'm bending the rules. If
• 52:24
  Speaker 2: it was really up to me, if I was going
• 52:25
  Speaker 2: to be completely honest with you, fuck it off.
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: You know, because you need you can use this to
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: your advantage. My guy. Now I'm gonna stick with yelling
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: you can you can use the Christmas tree is like,
• 52:41
  Speaker 1: it's essentially a security camera for your kids to make
• 52:44
  Speaker 1: them behave.
• 52:46
  Speaker 2: I was gonna say, it's more like an authoritarian figure
• 52:49
  Speaker 2: in the house in the corner.
• 52:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, but also it's like you may as well
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: have Santa Claus.
• 52:55
  Speaker 2: You just hate putting it up and taking it down
• 52:57
  Speaker 2: because it always ends up being my fucking problem.
• 53:00
  Speaker 1: I was like, we're going to do it.
• 53:01
  Speaker 2: I'm like, oh my god, where means me?
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: Don't you do it with the kids?
• 53:06
  Speaker 2: They interested in it for about ten seconds and I'm
• 53:09
  Speaker 2: moving on from this. Yeah, what is the rule?
• 53:11
  Speaker 1: We don't know?
• 53:12
  Speaker 2: Okay, what's the rule? When do you take it down?
• 53:14
  Speaker 2: WHOA I have been looking.
• 53:17
  Speaker 1: I have been looking at the houses and being like
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: taking note of who quickly took down the Halloween decorations
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: and who's still got it.
• 53:25
  Speaker 2: Next day I woke up in the houses around the neighborhood.
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: We'll go who were these freaks? Who are the freaks
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: that are taken down decorations the day after a calendar event?
• 53:34
  Speaker 1: Web up there? How is that being stored? Is they
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: put in the bin? Yeah? Do you store it? So
• 53:39
  Speaker 1: many questions?
• 53:40
  Speaker 2: I think, And I pitched this idea to you last
• 53:42
  Speaker 2: year because I don't like the setup and put down
• 53:45
  Speaker 2: a Christmas tree. I would say, a pop up Christmas
• 53:48
  Speaker 2: tree that's already pre set.
• 53:50
  Speaker 1: You can kind of get like the umbrella ones.
• 53:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but like I mean, like a bit more realistic
• 53:55
  Speaker 2: than just like, oh so you wrap, you wrap anything
• 53:59
  Speaker 2: that you just go like that and you pull a
• 54:00
  Speaker 2: tab and it goes. That's a lovely tree.
• 54:03
  Speaker 1: I think they have them, do they? Yeah? Actually, speaking
• 54:05
  Speaker 1: of Christmas, I know that we're not in December, but
• 54:08
  Speaker 1: I would like to get into the Christmas spirit early yay.
• 54:14
  Speaker 1: And by doing that, I want to hear about your
• 54:17
  Speaker 1: funny disasters of stories.
• 54:19
  Speaker 2: About Christmas mine or the listeners.
• 54:21
  Speaker 1: Listeners, Okay, I don't want yours.
• 54:23
  Speaker 2: I do like a good disaster story.
• 54:24
  Speaker 1: So if you have any little nuggets that you want
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: to get if you're if you have any little nuggets
• 54:29
  Speaker 1: that you want to get off your chest? Oh yeah please.
• 54:31
  Speaker 1: They can be anonymous. Yeah, send it in either DMS
• 54:35
  Speaker 1: or hello at two dotting dads dot com.
• 54:36
  Speaker 2: Anything awkward too? I like awkward stories.
• 54:39
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, like family like because you don't see Uncle
• 54:42
  Speaker 1: Rick comes in with his new girlfriend, but please send
• 54:47
  Speaker 1: them in.
• 54:47
  Speaker 2: Ideally, what I would like is uncle Rick comes in
• 54:50
  Speaker 2: with his new girlfriend who has the same name as
• 54:51
  Speaker 2: his ex wife.
• 54:52
  Speaker 1: Oh that's the sort of shit I want to hear. Please, Ash, Yes,
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: that is that is time. That is I'm calling time
• 55:01
  Speaker 1: on this episode. Thank god. If you have enjoyed this episode,
• 55:07
  Speaker 1: you know I did a poll, Ash, this is in
• 55:10
  Speaker 1: life on card. I did a poll and I said,
• 55:12
  Speaker 1: where do you find where do you find new podcasts?
• 55:15
  Speaker 1: Guess what the number one answer was. It was hearing
• 55:20
  Speaker 1: it from a friend.
• 55:22
  Speaker 2: Tell your friends.
• 55:22
  Speaker 1: Then that is So that leads to my request to
• 55:26
  Speaker 1: the listeners right now, if you genuinely hand on heart,
• 55:31
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, I've enjoyed any episode one of the
• 55:34
  Speaker 1: one hundred and eighty seven episodes of Two Doting Dads.
• 55:38
  Speaker 1: Tell someone, Tell anyone.
• 55:40
  Speaker 2: Or you could just go on to social media and
• 55:42
  Speaker 2: go to Two Doting Dads Instagram, Facebook, TikTok and YouTube.
• 55:47
  Speaker 1: I thought we're going to stop begging, but no, because
• 55:51
  Speaker 1: they're laughed. No, I'll stop begging at the end of
• 55:54
  Speaker 1: the year, up until Christmas. Christmas present to me.
• 55:59
  Speaker 2: You'll stop it?
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: Yes, and then also, if you enjoyed it, if you
• 56:04
  Speaker 1: liked it, it's a review, subscribe, subscribe, a couple of comments,
• 56:09
  Speaker 1: a couple of stars.
• 56:10
  Speaker 2: It's all it takes. All right, I'm hungry, let's go.
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: Okay, we'll see you guys next week.
• 56:16
  Speaker 2: Can kind of string this episode out?
• 56:18
  Speaker 6: We will see so yeah.
• 56:30
  Speaker 1: Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
• 56:34
  Speaker 1: throughout Australia and the connections to land, see and community.
• 56:38
  Speaker 2: We pay our respects to their elders past and present
• 56:41
  Speaker 2: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Straight
• 56:43
  Speaker 2: Islander people's today. This episode was recorded on gadagal Land