Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #550 Refilling Our Kid's Joy Tanks Part 1

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#550 Refilling Our Kid's Joy Tanks Part 1 · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: time poor parent who just wants answers.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: Now, we need to know our children well enough to
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: know what lights the mark, to see where they find delight.
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: And now here's the stars of our show, My mum
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: and dad. How much joy is in your joy tank
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: this morning? Missus Happy Families?
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Oh, come on, you giving me a hard time about
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: being a crank? I think you are.
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: I was just asking the question, are you feeling joyful?
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: If normally I am, but not today?
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: Really? Why is that tired?
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: It's been a big couple of weeks. Okay, I've been
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: unpacking the second shipping container.
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, all of that year, which is squeezing into a
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: house bit by bit, kids back at school.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: There's been a lot to work through and I'm feeling it.
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: And I am training for a ten kilometer run.
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: We haven't told anybody what's going on there. This is
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: not the point of the podcast, but what's the deal?
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: Fill everyone in what's happening with this ten k run?
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: When we moved up to the coast, I made a
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: conscious effort because we live so close to the water
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: that I wouldn't get in the car to go to
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: the beach, and so each morning I've been going down
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: and doing a little run.
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: It's only little.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: It's one point five to the beach and then I
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: sit down there and I meditate and have some time
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: to ponder before I run home. So it's a very
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: short run and there's a forty minute gap in between.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: My three k's totally sure.
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: So one and a half their rest, one and a half home.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I'm not trying to beat anyone's time or anything
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: like that. I'm just moving my body. But we recently
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: caught it with friends and you know, they're doing a
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: marathon in November, and I jokingly said we should go
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: on a holiday and they said, well, we're going to
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: Queenstown and we're running a marathon. And I thought, well,
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: I want a holiday and Queenstown's pretty nice place to
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: do it. And if I'm going to go and watch them,
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: I don't want.
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: To watch them worrying, how boring.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: I'm not interested in running a marathon, but I'm really
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: happy to push myself and run a ten k run.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: So I've signed up.
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  Speaker 2: This is the first event that you've ever done like
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: this in your life.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: I probably will be the what do you call that
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: person at the very end who runs arounds every pony
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: up but the loser who? But I again, I'm not
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: really interested in a time. I just am interested in
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: challenging myself. So as a result, I am feeling a
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: little bit sore and a little bit tired. Yeah, and
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: probably a little bit grumpier than normal.
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, when you exercise and your body's not used
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: to it, we all know that you've been exercising. Not
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: like me, not like me at all. Of course, I'm
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: used to exercising and getting up at ridiculous a clock.
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: Hey's so your joy tanks a little on the low side.
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: But doesn't it feel good to know that you're working
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: your way up to it? At ten k? How far
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: did you run this morning?
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: I did four point three this morning. That's the further
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: it start run.
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: So far? How exciting? So you've only got an extra
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: do you? Reckon? You've got another six k's in you? Well?
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: Look, I was talking to my coach.
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: Who's your coach? I didn't know you had a coach.
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: I have a very good friend who's been running her
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: whole life.
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: Oh okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: And she just said to get to five k's and
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: just to keep running five k's until I love running
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: five k's.
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: Well, you're only seven hundred meters off getting the five ks, that's.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: Right, And then I just have to get myself used
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: to conditions to actually running five k's. And she said
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: not to do it every day.
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: Hey, Melissa, thanks for the great tip. I know that
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: David listens to the podcast daily, so it's nice to
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: have some high quality coaching to help Kylie to get
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: to her ten k.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: You know, if it wasn't for Alyssa, I actually would
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: never have started running, and I probably would never have
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: believed I was capable of doing it. And whenever I
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: feel like I'm just not getting there, a quick phone
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: call to her and she just bumps up my motivation
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: and my belief.
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: What I love about this conversation is we're talking really
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: about refilling our kids' joy tanks in this podcast. But
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: you were feeling when we started the conversation a couple
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: of minutes ago, and there's life in you again, and
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: there's a reason for it. And it ties in with
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: one of the six things that I want to share
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: to help our kids to be happier, which I'll get
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: back to shortly, but let's talk about this idea. I mean,
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: our kids, they go through a lot. I've got that
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: great quote in the front of Misconnection, the book that
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: I wrote about teenage girls, Misconnection, Why your teenage daughter
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: hates you, expects the world and needs to talk. The
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: quote comes from Harry Potter and The Cursed Child, and
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: it's Draco Malfoy speaking to Harry, and he says, people
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: say parenting is the hardest job. It's not growing up
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: is growing up is. And our kids sometimes they really struggle.
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: Sometimes they're not that happy. And while we can't make
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: our children happy, we can't make anyone anything. They have
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: to choose it for themselves. There are certain things that
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: we can do to create conditions where happiness comes to
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: them much more easily. We're actually dealing at the moment
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: with one child who has always been a little bit anxious.
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: But frankly, I think that there's a lot more going
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: on at the moment for her, and we have tried
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: to quote unquote make her happy. We're trying to refill
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: her joy tank and we can't. And this is a
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: really hard thing for parents to know and understand, is
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: that sometimes you cannot make your child happy. You can
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: facilitate all of the right conditions. You can do everything
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: to make it easy for them to be happy if
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: they will choose it. But sometimes, no matter how much
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: you do, they will intentionally choose misery.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: There's probably a little bit of a side tangent, but
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: I think this is where emotional intelligence is so important,
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: helping our children to actually recognize the emotions that they're
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: feeling and giving them the space to go through it
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: as well. You know, if our children are sad, trying
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: to fill their joy tank and that sad space without
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: actually allowing them to flow through that in an appropriate
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: way is actually probably in some ways more damaging.
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so tomorrow and older better Tomorrow. I'm going to
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: share something where I completely blew it around that just
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: a little teaser. You can hear about the parenting expert
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: getting it totally wrong and how you came to the rescue.
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: But let's talk about what we can do to facilitate
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: an environment where kids can be happy, recognizing that sometimes
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: if your child has anxiety or depression, if your child's
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: being bullied, if there are things going on in your
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: child's life, sometimes you can't make them happy. But if
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: we want to refill their joy tanks. I have six,
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: six ideas.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: I wonder if they're the same as mine.
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: Okay, I didn't know you had a list. I thought
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: it was just my list today. What's your list?
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: Let's go with you first, Just listen, I'll add all right.
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: Okay, fine, Well my first one is that we need
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: to actually understand the sources of joy that they experience,
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  Speaker 2: Like we need to know our children well enough to
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: know what lights them up, to see where they find delight,
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: what their sources of flow are, like you know that
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: thing where you lose track of time, you just get
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: so absorbed in what you're doing. If we understand our
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: children's sources of joy, like some kids, We've got a
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: couple of kids for whom quiet contentment is pure bliss
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: for them. And we also have a couple of children
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: who seek active thrills.
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: Like climbing on top of the roof, Like climbing on
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: at what time was that that she did that?
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  Speaker 2: Like ten o'clock, ten thirty at night with her friends?
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: Just the other night, I was like, what are you
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: doing on the roof in the rain at ten thirty
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: at night? Talking about possums on the roof my goodness,
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: but when.
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: It sounded like elephants, believe you me.
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: So we need to understand our children's sources of joy,
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: what actually does light them up?
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  Speaker 1: I think sometimes one of the challenges we have is
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: that sometimes our children actually don't know what their source
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: of joy is.
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but we do. Like you can tell when your
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: children are alive. I say the word alive, as in
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: when they're vital and vibrant, even if the kids because
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: you say what makes you happy and the kids look.
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: But you know, as a parent, as a parent, I
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: can definitely recognize and see when my kids are in
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: that flow state and they're happy. But sometimes it takes
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: children a little while to work out what that is.
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  Speaker 1: And as parents, you know, facilitating opportunities for a wide
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: range of activities is so important if you've got a
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: child like that who just hasn't found their happy space.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: We've had children who wanted to play different instruments but
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: started playing those instruments and didn't actually really enjoy them,
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: but then have found the instrument that they wanted. But
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: it takes time sometimes even as an adult, now you
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: know you likes an interest change over time?
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, okay, So what you're saying is sometimes to
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: find what it is that's going to bring them joy
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: or flow, there's going to need to be some experimentation. Yeah,
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: and you're not going to experiment hardcore with a three year.
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: Old, No, definitely not. I'm thinking back to the conversation
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: we had with your mum around twins and kind of
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: giving them experiences that were individual and just that acknowledgments.
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: You know, we've done it so many times. We've got
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: this many children. They're all going to do this activity
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: because that's all I have the capacity to do. Get
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: from A to B with all of them, and they
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: can all participate. But some of the children flourished in
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: that situation and some of them didn't.
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, Yeah. It feels like in some ways there's
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: a bit of pressure on us as parents to help
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: our kids to find this. I mean, you're right, I
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: don't disagree at all with what you're saying, But there
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: are easier things that we can do as well. And
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: after the break, we're going to talk about those five things.
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: Get curious, not furious, be where your feeder mistakes lead
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: to mastery, high emotions, low intelligence. Have you ever heard
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: these or any of the other principles I share and
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: thought I need to stick that on my wall. Well
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: now you can. The Happy Family team has pulled out
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: the best justinisms for a five mini posters, perfect for
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: your home or even the classroom, and easy to grab
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: at happy families dot com dot I you.
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast, the podcast for the time
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: poor parent who just wants answers now, and I'm guessing
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: you've got some answers.
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: So if we want to help our children to find joy,
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: we can do it by seeking extracurricular activities and try
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: to enrich their lives and do all the things that
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: we were talking about before the break which are useful
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: and helpful, and research shows that they can really move
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: the needle for our kids in terms of their development
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: and the life and light that they experience.
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: I'm not actually talking about extracurricula though, By the way,
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: your children might be creative, but they haven't found the
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: creative source. We've got a child who now paints incredibly well,
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: but as a young child, I never give her, you know,
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: kind of significant scope with painting.
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but she'll lose herself for days in a picture,
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: won't she.
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, But it's just about providing different mediums for our
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: kids to play with. Maybe your kid doesn't love playing
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: with Lego, but they actually absolutely get stuck on that
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: mobolo stuff.
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the magnetic sort of things. Yeah, yeah, fair enough,
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: do you know what I mean?
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: Like, we kind of work with what we're comfortable with,
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: only to realize that there's a myriad of other opportunities
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: out there in that same area that we can do
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: within our own home.
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: I mean, I said, I've got six things, but you
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: just give me a seventh, and that is a creativity.
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: Creativity makes people happy. We don't always want to be
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: creative in the same ways. We've got one daughter who
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: loves art and she also loves to write songs. We've
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: got another daughter who to be creative in her writing,
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: like just wants to write and journal and create. We
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: have crafty kids. That's the great thing with six kids, right,
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: you discover that everyone has a different way of expressing
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: their creativity. I look at how you're creative versus how
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: I'm creative. It's a wonderful way to find flow and
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: find joys to do things that are creative. We're going
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: to run out of time if you keep on interrupting me,
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: though I'm supposed to be the expert here, not you,
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: missus corson.
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: I haven't said anything.
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: So the second thing that I wanted to highlight if
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: we want to help our children to refill their joy
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: tanks is connection. Connection is at the heart of well being. Connection, connection, Connection.
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: I've been watching as one of our older daughters has
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: just moved back home after having a couple of months
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: away from us because we were in the process of
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: moving up here and she was working in Brisbane. And
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: I've watched the way she's connected with the sisters, and
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: while there's occasional conflict and far too much control in
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: moments here and there, overall they've had so much fun connecting,
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: going for walks, playing card games, reading, doing activities, the
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: connection has lit them up. And I just think connection, connection,
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: connection with siblings or with friends, having playdates. I know
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: now I want to pause on playdates for a second.
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: You hate playdates.
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: No, that's not true.
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: You hate organizing playdates. You hate ringing people and saying, hey,
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: can our kids get together?
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: I hate ringing people I don't know and don't have
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: a relationship with that're asking.
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, okay, So there's the and I've spoken with
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: a lot of parents over the last few years who
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: have highlighted a genuine level of anxiety that they experience
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: when they have to reach out to another parent, say
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: can our kids get together, especially when they don't know
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: them well. It's one thing when they know them well,
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: but when the sense of connection is weak, it's a
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: really big thing. What I want to emphasize is that
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: connection brings joy.
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: But sometimes it's not even about anxiety. As a young
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: mom with multiple children in the I don't have time
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: to sit down with a new mum that I'm trying
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: to build a relationship with so that our kids can
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: have a two hour playdate while I've got other children
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: different ages that require my time and attention, or the
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: dinner needs to be put on. And you would always suggest, well,
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: why don't you see if they can go and play
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: at their house? And then I'm asking another young mum
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: who's got multiple children to have my child, and it
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: feels like I'm asking her to babysit my child.
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: So it does make it tricky, and yet connection is
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: so important. I will say, though, in my defense, marginally,
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: that once the kids are getting together and playing you
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: usually get a whole lot more done because the kids
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: are happy, they're not clinging to you. And yeah, but in.
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: New relationships usually parents aren't going to just drop their
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: child or showplace, so then you are involved in that dialogue,
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: which obviously over time in riches, but as a time
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: for parent often it feels just it's just another thing
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: we have to add to the list.
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: And you've just reminded me of some research that I
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: read last week. To create an adult friendship, researchers believe
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: that it takes about thirty hours of time together before
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: you at a point where you might call it a
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: casual friendship where you know the person well enough to
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: give them a call, send them a text and say, hey,
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: here's what's going on, or do you want to get together,
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: And it takes fifty hours to have what would be
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: considered a strong friendship. That's a lot of time together,
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: especially when you're a stressed out, tired over at young
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: mum or dad who just wants the kids to play,
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: but you don't have to, like thirty hours, that's a
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: lot of time.
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's interesting when you look at that and you
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: kind of think, well, I've got friends over here, that
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: I meet at playgroup, but you'll generally only catch up
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: with them at playgroup because your relationship is still so new,
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: And yes, you gravitate to them at playgroup, but you
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: still haven't branched out of that playgroup situation.
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: A lot of pressure, and yet I still have to
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: stand by this if we want to refill our kids
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: joy tanks. It's all about connection, connection with friends, whether
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: it's play dates or it's at the park, even if
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: it comes at a cost to us.
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: I didn't actually tell you how I actually managed to
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: push myself to do the four case. I saw another
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: lady who was running, and she was running parallel with
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: me between the car parks, and I could tell she
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: was running about my speed, right, and so we verged
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: onto the same path at one point, and so we
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: were running side by side, and I just happened to
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: be listening to bon jovis, Oh, we're halfway there, take
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: my hand.
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: Listen to bon Jovi? Why do you listening to bon jo?
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: Got an oldies track and I'll put it together for me,
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: And it's the perfect mix. It's just a really good,
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: steady rhythm.
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: It can't be the perfect mix of us. Got John
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: bon Jovi on it.
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: But anyway, anyway, we're halfway there. And I was about
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: halfway along my track and so I pulled my headphones
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: out and I looked around and I said, I'm listening
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: to Bonjovi and he told me we're halfway there?
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: Are we there?
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: Are? We're halfway there?
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: And she's one to know where you're going, right.
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: But we ended up having a conversation and for me
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: just having that human to human connection. Yes, actually added
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: pep to my step and I actually that's how I
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: ran further than I've ever run.
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: I love it. Okay, So I've got seven things to
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: get through and we're at the second one already. Do
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: you think we should finish this next week? Oh?
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: You're so funny? Are you going to talk about music
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: and dancing?
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: Let me make that number eight music end? All right?
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: Come on, what's summer three? You know what our times are.
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: We need to wrap it up here. So we're going
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: to finish this conversation next week refilling our kids joy tanks.
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: At this point, what we've discovered is that Klytie's going
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: to do a ten k in New Zealand at the
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: end of the year. We've all We've also discovered that
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: we need to understand the sources of joy that our
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: children experience and that we can't make them happy. We've
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: talked about the importance of finding flow and the power
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: of connection. So in our next podcast next Monday, which
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: was supposed to be our book club podcast, missus Happy
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: Families that I'm so excited about because.
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: You haven't finished reading your book. That's the only reason
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: you're doing this.
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: What we'll do is we'll postpone the book club podcast
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: for an extra couple of days so I can finish
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: the book that I'm reading and then I slack, and
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: then we'll talk instead about these other ways that we
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: can refill our kids' joy tanks. Okay, that's all coming up.
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: I know that wasn't the plan, but I actually think
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: that this is a really important topic when you think
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: about all of the stresses that families are going through
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: at the moment, refilling our joy cup.
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: I'm talking about a tank here.
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: Tank.
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: A tank is much bigger than a carp and we
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: need to refill the whole thing. You know. What I
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: also appreciate about our conversation today is that it hasn't
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: gone the way that we thought it would, but you've
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: pushed back against some of my ideas and you've clarified
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: them and shared really useful insights, and that's why this
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: podcast is here. So, folks, we hope that you've really
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: enjoyed the podcast today. We hope that it's giving you
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: some ideas, some food for thought, something to resonate to
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: and tomorrow I'll do better tomorrow where we are where
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: I gosh, where I get to highlight the big mistake
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: that I made. Gosh, I'm not looking forward to that one,
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: but you can look forward to it because the parenting
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: expert gets it wrong with some level of frequency. Happy
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: Family's podcast is produced by Justin Ruland from Bridge Media.
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: Craig Bruce is our executive producer. We so appreciate that
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: you listen to the podcast. Thanks for being here. If
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: you want more and if I about making your family happier,
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: check it out at Happy families dot com today