Latest / The Play Therapy Circle / Episode 31- Navigating Endings in CCPT

Transcript

Episode 31- Navigating Endings in CCPT · The Play Therapy Circle

0:02
Hi, everyone, and welcome back to the Play Therapy Circle
0:06
podcast. I'm your host, Kylie Ellison,
0:09
and I am so glad you are here. Welcome to episode 31, you guys.
0:17
This week I'm recording on a Tuesday night, which is much
0:22
better than a Thursday late Thursday afternoon before the
0:25
drop on the Friday, right? So this is, you know, life
0:28
goals. We're growing here.
0:32
I have had a massive day. I don't know why in my brain
0:37
this makes sense to record at the end of the day.
0:39
I probably should be recording at the start of the day.
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Anywho, it is just gone 7:30 here in Queensland on a Tuesday
0:48
night. So I am recording this.
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I'm going to reflect on my day and do this episode and then I
0:56
am going to call it a day. So I am excited for that
1:01
tomorrow and the rest of the week.
1:03
I am running clinical training as part of my practise
1:08
organisation. So I am really, really looking
1:12
forward to that. I truly enjoy connecting with
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like minded professionals who just are so passionate about
1:18
child centre play therapy. It truly truly is a joy to
1:22
share. I guess my experiences and my
1:23
learnings but see their growth and change too.
1:26
It's just incredible. So I'm really looking forward to
1:29
the rest of the week. So it'll be a little bit of a
1:30
break from client work this week, but it's still going to be
1:35
a busy week. And on the weekend, we are doing
1:38
Valentine's Day. You guys, we're going to call it
1:40
Valentine's Day. So I don't know if you guys
1:42
celebrate it in your part of the world.
1:45
I checked out. This is how bad this episode's
1:50
going to be, you guys. I'm going to have moments where
1:52
I'm like, did I say that? What am I saying?
1:54
Where am I going? I checked our Spotify like Apple
1:59
podcast kind of back end kind of metrics.
2:01
And I think we're up to 43 countries, including Australia,
2:05
like truly wild. So if you are just joining or
2:10
generally speaking, most people who listen to the podcast will
2:13
go from the start to the finish. So if you're a newbie, probably
2:16
not here yet with this episode. But hello, if you are joining us
2:19
for the first time, it is so nice to connect with so many
2:22
people across the globe. I am starting to get back into
2:25
conference. This is just a wild ride.
2:27
Regards. We're just going to chat.
2:28
We're going to yarn, you know, grab a coffee, all the things or
2:31
a tea because it's late when I'm recording this.
2:34
So whenever you're listening to this, I am.
2:37
One of the things that I was interested in doing this year
2:40
was getting back into conferences.
2:42
I took a break. I did it.
2:44
I took a break last year. So it's the year before.
2:46
So it's been a couple of years since I have presented our
2:49
conferences. I think.
2:50
So I that could be wrong, but it feels like it's been a while.
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Anyway, I decided this year that I would start applying.
2:56
So the first one that I am presenting in May will be in
3:01
Cairns in, I think it's Far North Queensland.
3:04
Do we call it far North Queensland for Cairns?
3:05
I guess so. North of Brisbane for anyone
3:08
following at home. So I'll be presenting in May and
3:12
I just found out the programme because this is the third time
3:17
now I think. So they run their conferences,
3:19
the Early Years conference in Cairns, the incredible team
3:25
there are just spectacular and they do an amazing conference.
3:29
So we have just been big supporters of that conference.
3:32
Now this is the third time. So it's been, yeah, the last six
3:35
years, three Times Now 'cause it's run every two years that I
3:39
have been there and I have just, you know, loved the privilege of
3:44
being able to go up to Cairns and be able to present on child
3:50
centre play therapy. It's it's been an absolute joy.
3:53
So this year, if any of you guys have been following the
3:56
episodes, you know, I did an episode on I guess the impact of
4:02
the post COVID world that we live in now.
4:04
And I guess that anxiety, I call it the anxiety kind of pandemic
4:09
or epidemic that we're experiencing with those kids in
4:12
that 4 to 6 year old age group. And so I'm presenting on the
4:15
research of that and just obviously the application of
4:18
child play therapy and how it can support kids who are
4:21
struggling with anxiety symptomology.
4:24
And I am on like, so there's two days, right?
4:27
And so usually I'm on the second day, like after lunch because
4:32
it's like, you know, I'm, I don't know, I've been 20 years
4:37
in the field, but 10 years as a play therapist.
4:38
And, and you know, I don't, I'm not a CEO or the massive company
4:44
or like a doctor and you know, whatever.
4:47
And so I'm usually down the bottom of the pile, which is
4:49
totally fine. I just love being there.
4:51
So I, I don't care. But this time I don't know,
4:55
third time's the charm. I am like straight after, like
5:00
pretty much straight after on the 1st morning, like at 11:00,
5:05
11/20 or something in the biggest room like that they have
5:10
during my presentation after the keynote speaker who like opens
5:13
the event, I was like what? What?
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So I will absolutely for all of you that follow our social
5:21
media, both on the podcast social media and my organisation
5:25
social media, I will vlog all of that so that you guys can come
5:29
along and follow the journey of like, what am I gonna do at like
5:34
the capacity is like 500 people. I've never presented at a
5:37
conference with that many people.
5:38
I've done lots of conferences over the years.
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Like I've probably almost ticked over to con of oh, when I say 10
5:44
or 12 at this stage over my career.
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So like over 10 years. So that's not really that
5:48
impressive, right? But this one feels a little bit
5:52
different because of, I guess that, yeah, that honour that
5:57
they've given me of having my presentation, you know,
6:00
basically straight after the keynote.
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Wild, like just wild. So I found that out today and I
6:05
was like, Oh my God, like this is crazy.
6:08
So I'm doing that. And then I'm presenting at the
6:12
Brisbane Convention Centre in June at the Childcare Alliance
6:17
Australia conference. I believe it is.
6:19
So I come back from holidays like the day before.
6:25
So again, I promise that I will vlog that because that's going
6:29
to be wild as well. I don't know what to expect with
6:31
that one. I've never presented it before,
6:33
so that'll be kind of cool. And then obviously we announced
6:36
our own conference that we are holding as part of the play
6:39
therapy circle in October in Brisbane at The Ridges.
6:43
So that's going to be super, super fun.
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I'm like beyond excited. It's going to be such a weekend
6:47
of just connection and support and sharing of our passion of
6:52
CCPT. So I can't wait.
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So there's one more conference. So I'm not going to say what it
6:58
is because if I don't get it, like, then that's good.
7:01
You know, like you don't want to like tell people, then it
7:03
doesn't happen. But if that one comes through,
7:06
that's kind of. Yeah, it's one of my bucket list
7:09
ones. So I mean, out of three
7:12
applications, yeah, I've been accepted for two so far.
7:14
So you never know. You never know.
7:17
But it's interesting, right, When you kind of manifest things
7:20
in your life. I don't know if anyone believes
7:21
in that stuff. Like it's not a big thing for
7:23
me, but I just, I like to have goals at the start of the year
7:26
and I like to kind of have things that I'm aiming for.
7:28
And yeah, one of them was to get back into conferences.
7:30
And here we are three conferences later and maybe a
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fourth. So like that, like that.
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And I guess, you know, something on my big, big bucket list at
7:40
some stage in my career would be hopefully one day to connect
7:45
with any of you, you know, more internationally.
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I'd love to have that opportunity to connect with
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those who are also passionate about CPT outside of Australia.
7:55
So yeah, that's on the bucket list as well at some stage.
7:59
So hopefully that will come through as well.
8:02
So a lot's happening and I had a plan.
8:08
And for any of you guys who like know me or have kind of picked
8:11
up on my vibes, especially with my late diagnosed ADHD brain,
8:16
you will know that I have a plan and then I usually change it in
8:19
a whim. But most importantly, before I
8:22
get started and talk about the topic, how are you guys going
8:25
like truly this week? How are you doing?
8:27
Like it's the 10th of February, it's the 10th.
8:32
I vlogged today. And so that will go up on the
8:34
socials of a day in the life of me just like, you know, just
8:39
juggling the balls and getting stuff done.
8:42
And did I vlog this afternoon at Woolworths?
8:46
So that's our grocery, local grocery store here in Brisbane.
8:49
Did I vlog buying Easter eggs in February?
8:53
Yes, yes I did. Yes, I did.
8:56
Did I eat some of them when I came home?
8:58
Absolutely, absolutely. Did I eat it before dinner?
9:01
Also yes. So that's Ramat.
9:06
That's Ramat. Honestly, this week, and I don't
9:08
know if this is for anyone else, the feeling or the vibes, but
9:11
truly today felt like Friday and it's Tuesday.
9:14
So it's deeply disappointing on so many levels.
9:17
So that is what's happening in my world.
9:21
I hope you guys are having a great start to your week.
9:24
I hope it's going well for you. I gosh, I've just been blown
9:30
away by just so much support for our conference.
9:32
So I just wanna thank everyone for all of your beautiful words
9:36
and a beautiful support and I've it's just been and I don't know
9:40
if this is for you guys wherever you are in the world, wherever
9:43
this is finding you today. If you are in February, the 10th
9:47
of February, finding in your local community just a true like
9:51
influx in referrals like we we are like I am overbooked.
9:57
Like when I say I have no time in my schedule, I'm not even
10:01
kidding. And I had another referral today
10:04
and I was like, yeah, I can make that work.
10:07
So if that is you and you are fully booked and you're
10:10
struggling maybe with those boundaries around, you know, I
10:14
need to like not you know, I need to sleep like I must have a
10:19
work life balance. I see you this week.
10:23
It just feels a little, oh, it just feels like there's a lot
10:28
happening in our communities and a lot of struggle and and there
10:31
always is, right. But when you're connected in
10:34
this way in child centre play therapy and one of our key
10:36
tenants around that sense of empathy and connection and
10:40
unconditional positive regard it, you can't help but feel some
10:43
of that movement in the community.
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So if you are, I just wanna send all my love to you as well
10:48
because yeah, there's a lot going on, certainly in
10:52
Australia, certainly in our local communities, and there's
10:57
certainly families out there that need our support.
10:58
So feeling really grateful to be able to do this work and to be
11:03
able to connect with kids in this way and support them.
11:06
But I had a plan. Getting back to my point a
11:08
couple of minutes ago, if you guys are neurodivergent, anyone
11:11
listening who's neurodivergent has probably followed along what
11:14
I've said. Those who are neurotypical are
11:15
probably losing their minds. They're like, where is the
11:18
structure to this broadcast? What are you doing?
11:20
I promise I've got 1. Here we go.
11:22
So I had a plan other topic. So for you, you guys who have
11:27
been following along, you would know we have been doing episodes
11:31
on helping to share information for parents about child centre
11:35
play therapy. So I had every intention of
11:38
doing that tonight. However, I'm always called to
11:42
what I connect with usually on the day, and today was a unique
11:46
day. So I thought it was important
11:48
that I wanted to put this information out there and these
11:52
reflections in case it really kind of lands or resonates or
11:56
connects for anyone listening at the in.
11:59
I was gonna say at home, that's a real assumption.
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Like you could be out walking, you could be at work.
12:04
So no, not just at home, but wherever you're listening to
12:07
this. I just, I had a session today
12:12
and I'm really mindful that that it is very, very important that
12:16
we are always protecting the confidentiality of the clients
12:21
that we work with. So I will absolutely not be
12:24
sharing any specific information, but this is a more
12:27
broad topic on endings and navigating endings in child
12:32
centred play therapy. So it's the experience today has
12:35
really kind of given me a bit of a launchpad for what I wanna
12:38
talk about in this space today and in this episode and how how
12:44
important endings in child centre play therapy are for so
12:49
many reasons, but not what you might think.
12:51
So that sounds very like mysterious, right?
12:53
And I'm really not that I'm not that good at being mysterious.
12:56
So it's really not that deep. But I do want to say that if you
13:03
are as a practitioner at the moment, either just recently
13:08
navigating and ending with a client or you're going through
13:10
the process of counting them down and exiting them as a
13:13
client, or you might have a scenario where you're
13:17
considering that ending process with a client.
13:19
This episode is for you because what I want to say is I have
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been practising in May, it will be 11 years.
13:29
So I started my training 11 years ago, over 11 years.
13:34
Oh no, it would be just in February, I believe end of
13:37
January, February. Then I started my training 11
13:40
years ago and have had my practise officially for just
13:44
over 10 years. So in that time I've obviously
13:48
had clients that have had endings.
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And I think what I want to acknowledge here is even the the
13:55
concept of endings in child centre play therapy has so many
13:57
different definitions, right? So we're talking about sometimes
14:01
where clients funding ends and we just don't necessarily get to
14:04
the end of our therapy work, but there's an ending, clients move
14:07
away. They're often in the child
14:09
protection space. There's clients that move
14:12
placements and so then we never see them again.
14:14
Like there's, there's kind of this process where that
14:16
transition doesn't happen and it's outside of our control.
14:21
There might be a situation where, Yep, for whatever reason,
14:24
a parent withdraws consent or a parent, you know, makes that
14:30
decision around where to from here.
14:33
And so there is that sense of a variety of endings that happen
14:39
in child sent and play therapy. And of course, as I said, I've
14:43
had many clients and, and you know when you have a client and
14:49
I've got one top of mind from years ago now where you've been
14:54
working with them for a long time and then you have this
14:58
ending. It's such a connected, I guess,
15:02
moment in recognising, honouring and really acknowledging that
15:10
journey. How far you break the child and
15:13
you have come in this process. You, you guys know that I always
15:16
talk about clients as my teachers.
15:21
I feel like every client that I work with, I learn something
15:25
from which I carry with me. I was only kind of reflecting on
15:30
this with an incredible supervisor the other day and I,
15:34
I really enjoyed that conversation because I think
15:37
that it's, it's one of those things and I don't know if it's
15:41
going to land for everyone. But for me, it's one of those
15:44
things where especially with endings, whether it is something
15:48
that's planned or it's something that's really abrupt, that,
15:52
gosh, it just goes into that core memory kind of Bank of all
15:56
of the clients that we've worked with, all of the kids that we've
15:59
walked alongside and what we learn about ourselves in that
16:02
process and how we become better people for having that
16:06
opportunity to have learnt from that child about life and, and
16:11
taking them with us when we meet our next new client.
16:15
So I don't know if that lands for anyone, but that was
16:17
definitely something that I was reflecting on and and really
16:21
feel is very relevant to today. But I think I want to talk about
16:26
the journey of child centre play therapy.
16:27
I think that, you know, we talk about the stages, we talk about
16:32
themes, we talk about, you know, how to predict and kind of look
16:36
and assess for those endings. But I think what struck me, you
16:41
know, in my work more recently has been that it's a part of the
16:48
story that we that we walk alongside and support.
16:55
But it's really interesting. We talk about child centre play
16:58
therapy as being so much about the relationship, the
17:00
relationship first more than anything else, and investing
17:03
that time in the beginning in forming that connection so that
17:06
we have that foundation and safety and trust for a child to
17:10
really unpack and make sense of their world.
17:13
I think in my head, maybe it's my ADHD brain, but I think that
17:18
there was a part of me that thought when you have endings
17:21
that it's almost like things come to a natural and neat kind
17:25
of ending. And if that's you as well, and
17:28
I'm saying this very authentically, right?
17:30
I'm 10 years down the line, I should know better, but I'm, I'm
17:33
telling you in real time, kind of my experience and I guess my
17:37
thinking and I learnt something today about I'm going to call it
17:42
the fluid nature of child centre play therapy.
17:47
And that's probably not a thing, but I'm going to call it that
17:50
because I think that we always say, as you guys know in the
17:56
language that we use when we are counting a child down and ending
17:59
them, you know, we've got four more sessions together, mate,
18:02
and then we won't be seeing each other for now.
18:05
And we emphasise the four now because we know that there is
18:08
the potential or the possibility that we may connect again down
18:12
the line. And I know for me as a child
18:14
centre play therapist, I always say I work with children of all
18:18
ages. And so my door is always open to
18:21
my clients who wanna come back down the line that that's just
18:24
goes without saying. But I, I realised today there's
18:28
a little part of me that maybe considers that, you know, when
18:33
that therapy work ends, that maybe that's not gonna happen.
18:38
And, and I say that because obviously from my own anecdotal
18:42
experience over the last 10 years, that it's only on one
18:48
occasion that I've had a client that I've ended with that I've
18:52
kind of, you know, finished that process and then, you know, a
18:54
few years later connected with again.
18:57
So it for me, and again, this could be very different to you.
19:00
So just purely kind of talking anecdotally of my own
19:03
experience, it doesn't happen very often.
19:06
So when I know that there's an ending, I'm often viewing it as,
19:09
you know, a farewell and a goodbye.
19:12
And I learned today that with endings, and you can have this
19:19
ending that happens in your therapy journey with the client.
19:24
And we say that, you know, it's our time is up and and you know,
19:29
we won't be catching up anymore for now.
19:32
But that was really apparent to me today that for now part, I'm
19:37
really kind of honing in on that in this topic today because I
19:41
really didn't realise the power of that 'cause I think that that
19:46
is actually something that's really important to acknowledge
19:49
that there really is, like I said, a fluid nature to the
19:53
relationship. It's not a cut and dry, like
19:56
this is the end, You've reached mastery, you've reached your
20:00
goals, you know, see you later kind of thing.
20:04
And I'm really, really grateful for that insight and that gift
20:08
today. And and it's just something that
20:12
I wanted to put out there and I guess.
20:15
Encourage that reflection for you as well because I think that
20:19
we can really feel like, especially as beginning play
20:22
therapists feel like we need to very heavily lean into those
20:26
stages of play and themes and, you know, transition stages and
20:30
you know how to assess when a child's reach their goals and
20:33
you know, all of those things, right?
20:37
But it doesn't necessarily mean that the ending is the end.
20:44
And that was really helpful for me today to notice that.
20:49
And I think that this is the next step in my practise.
20:51
So if this is resonating for anyone else, I hope it is for
20:55
beginning play therapist. You're probably listening to
20:56
this and going, you lost me at, you know, conference talk, which
21:00
is fair. I, I talked a lot before we got
21:03
to this topic. If you're still with me, thank
21:05
you for hanging in there and following along my fluid train
21:09
of thought. But yeah, I came across a little
21:13
bit of information here that I wanted to share around the fact
21:15
that endings don't erase the relationship.
21:18
I came across that and I was like, oh, oh, I've just got a
21:21
wriggle because I'm like getting stuck on my chair, you guys.
21:25
So if you're watching me on the video, you're like, what is she
21:27
doing? My knee is sore.
21:29
OK, let's talk about it. Endings don't erase the
21:33
relationship. It's not the end, but it is
21:37
because we call it the end, right?
21:38
And we do this whole process, I always when I'm sharing with
21:41
supervisees around what to expect if they're about to have
21:45
their first last session. I promise that made sense when I
21:49
said it. And I'll often say it feels
21:53
different. The last session.
21:56
I just, I've had a reflection from my experience today where
22:00
I'm like it, it is. It's obviously the ending.
22:06
We acknowledge that and we acknowledge that we have
22:11
connected and worked with our client and help them to reach
22:14
their potential. But I really realised and
22:18
reflected on it really isn't the ending and it definitely doesn't
22:22
erase that relationship. And we have given that child or
22:27
that young person a lived experience where they can end
22:31
safely and they can feel safety in that connection.
22:37
And that connection doesn't finish because we don't catch up
22:42
anymore. I'm putting that out there, you
22:45
guys. This is very existential, very
22:48
different content to last week's.
22:50
Oh, man, it's a ride. It's a trip when you listen to
22:52
one of my podcasts, right? Have I reached anyone with this?
22:56
Like am I? I'm wondering if this is landing
22:59
for anyone that the ending doesn't erase the relationship.
23:05
Oh, and that normalising endings often brings more play, not
23:12
less. That's something to consider.
23:16
And that this is really about the relationship as healing in
23:21
itself, right? Like it's the relationship that
23:27
is healing in itself, which kind of like throws in the face, I
23:35
promise I'm still here. I'm just like, really like
23:37
taking this in. And I don't know if this is kind
23:39
of leaning for anyone else, but it kind of flies in the face of
23:42
kind of needing those stages of play.
23:44
And I'm not gonna kind of go down any kind of therapeutic
23:47
pathways with that. I wholeheartedly 100% believe in
23:51
our framework and our modality and especially in the stages of
23:53
play. So definitely not debating that
23:55
or I'm seeking to change that. But I think as you advance in
23:58
your career, I think one of the things that I am reflecting on
24:02
and just making sense of and really integrating into my
24:07
practise is that deeper work that we do past that sort of
24:14
stages. The things that we learn in our
24:16
training, the things that we start doing in our beginning of
24:18
our career. When we move past that, there is
24:21
a deepening of our practise that involves us looking much, oh
24:28
much, much more at that felt experience level around the
24:32
relationship and really examining that relationship and
24:34
how it really is the catalyst for so much in CCPT.
24:39
And when we're talking about this topic of endings, it's
24:41
critical in acknowledging that that relationship offered the
24:44
healing like that the relationship in itself was
24:49
healing. Oh my loady, loady, loady.
24:53
I don't know if that's landed for anyone truly, but what I
24:57
want to, I guess, talk a little bit about is if you are looking
25:03
for, I guess, an understanding of what an ending might look
25:08
like, this is not the episode for you.
25:10
I'm just kidding because I'm down the rabbit hole of like,
25:16
endings aren't the end. Whoa, that's deep as well.
25:20
Endings are not the end. If we have truly worked and
25:26
gotten to the place where the child, if we think about
25:30
Cochrane and Cochrane's goal setting model, which I'm a big
25:32
fan of in child centre play therapy, Cochrane and Cochrane
25:36
talk about, you know, symptomology reduction, human
25:38
human capacity building and then personality change.
25:41
If we have connected at such a deep level in a relation
25:46
relational experience with the child that we have this shift
25:49
and change in their personality where and they say in the
25:53
textbook, you know, someone, a parent or a teacher or someone
25:57
might come in and say they're just not that same kid anymore,
25:59
right? That's kind of the example of of
26:02
that, what that change looks like.
26:04
If it, if that is the case, just as I started this conversation
26:09
in the podcast talking about how I carry the gift of what I
26:14
learned from each of the kids that I work with into the next
26:18
child that I work with. Wouldn't that be the same for
26:20
the child? Like putting that out there,
26:25
wouldn't there be something around?
26:27
And I'm not trying to make that in an egocentric way by the way,
26:30
either. Like I'm, I'm really kind of
26:31
getting probably a little Freudian here for anyone who
26:34
loves psychodynamic psychotherapy.
26:35
But I feel like there's something at an unconscious
26:37
level that has shifted and changed with the child in the
26:41
same way that it does for us in our learnings and our growth
26:44
display therapists. That then means that they would
26:49
carry that with them too. Like we're acknowledging that
26:52
there's that change for them. But at a deeper level, that
26:56
relationship has been the healing.
26:59
So I put it out there and it's one of those things, right,
27:01
That, you know, when you end with a client, you're not going
27:04
to follow him up in, you know, two years time and say, hey, you
27:07
know, do you feel like the relationship, you know, the
27:10
working relationship we had, you've carried with you?
27:13
Like it's not something we're ever going to get an answer for.
27:15
It's not something we can ask. It's very at a unconscious kind
27:19
of emotional level that I'm talking about.
27:22
But I'm putting that out there because if we think about it
27:25
that way, our presence, our congruence, our authenticity,
27:31
our empathy, our unconditional positive regard, the tenants of
27:34
CCPT are the factors of change. They are the elements of change
27:39
in that relationship. By showing up as ourselves and
27:42
offering that space to a child, that is the change for the
27:48
child. So regardless of whether we kind
27:52
of tick the boxes and say whether they move through
27:54
aggressive, regressive mastery, they've had that experience
27:59
where it's shifted and changed them to be able to navigate life
28:03
and they carry that with them. Whoa, So good, so good.
28:08
I don't know if this has been helpful for anyone, but this has
28:10
been so good for me to talk this out because it's been such a big
28:13
day. And I think that really what
28:16
struck me in my learnings was just that that ending session
28:22
where I've had that in the past, there's definitely been
28:25
experiences where it's felt very final and that's OK.
28:29
Like that every ending is different, right?
28:32
But I'm so grateful for the learnings that I had today
28:35
around it. It actually could also be fluid.
28:39
And that actually that shows that we've done a good job.
28:44
If they have had that shift and change and they're able to
28:49
obviously finish up in therapy and they've had that kind of
28:53
deep level kind of human capacities and personal
28:57
personality change and shift and change.
29:00
But that goes on after we finish, which is so cool.
29:05
So not only are we then, because if we think about it, then at a
29:08
macro level, you're talking about that child going out into
29:12
the world with a different, you know, kind of lens to when they
29:17
first started working with us. That will hopefully have a
29:20
positive flow on effect to their personal relationships, their
29:24
peer relationships, their family relationships, their community
29:27
relationships, which makes our work so important, right?
29:34
And I just want to give anyone who really is maybe stuck in
29:40
the, how do I put this like the nuts and bolts of the work?
29:44
That's a very, I feel like that's maybe an Australian term.
29:47
So now that we have so many international countries, let me
29:49
explain when I'm talking about like nuts and bolts, it's like
29:54
the absolute foundations of child centre play therapy, which
29:58
I don't ever want to suggest we dismiss.
30:01
That's very important. I think in the beginning, while
30:04
you're building your sense of confidence as a beginning child
30:07
centre play therapist, we really lean very heavily into the
30:10
skills and the theory and the concepts that we've learned.
30:13
So I want to give you that hope down the line that once you have
30:17
mastered that and you feel very confident in that and you feel
30:20
like you can navigate that, I want to.
30:23
And especially for those of you who've maybe been practising two
30:25
or three years and you're feeling a little bit stagnant or
30:27
a little bit stuck. But even if you're in the
30:29
beginning, that what I'm having an epiphany today about, which
30:34
probably shows I'm a little bit slow learner.
30:36
It's taken me 10 years to do this guy.
30:38
No, no, no, no, no, no. It's just that this has been
30:41
this particular client that's given me this gift.
30:42
I'm talking myself out of that. What I've learned today is that
30:49
it all is about the relationship, but it's about
30:53
that authentic connection. It's about us showing up as our
30:57
authentic self and connecting authentically with the child
31:01
because we truly believe in them and their capacity for growth
31:05
and change. And that it's a dynamic process
31:09
that happens over their life obviously as well.
31:13
And that we can have a really powerful impact on children
31:18
regardless of kind of the time frame.
31:19
Because sometimes we don't have that say or control over funding
31:23
blocks and things like that, right, or change of placements,
31:26
things like that. So sometimes that's out of our
31:28
control, but there is something truly sacred about what we do
31:35
that offers a space for children to walk in as a particular child
31:41
and walk out as someone totally different, but in a really good
31:45
way, And to walk out into the world and navigate the world
31:50
maybe a little bit lighter, maybe a little bit more
31:52
confident. And that that's something
31:55
they're going to carry with them.
31:58
How cool is that? Oh my God, I don't know if this
32:01
is landing for anyone else. This has been a really like
32:05
different episode, I guess because I wanted to have that
32:08
kind of self reflection. But I guess I wanted to offer
32:13
that hope really, truly, I mean, if I'm living my tenants of
32:17
CCPD, that's what I truly believe in is that hope for
32:21
every single client and every single child that walks into my
32:24
playroom. I truly believe in them.
32:26
I believe in their family and I believe in their capacity for
32:29
growth. And that goes to me too.
32:32
Well, we can talk about that another day, but that's like we
32:35
also believe in ourselves and and the incredible opportunity
32:41
we have to grow as human beings when we are a child centre play
32:46
therapist, but also the the nature of child centre play
32:51
therapy being so much bigger than just sessions in a
32:54
playroom. So I guess I want to plant that
32:58
seed for you and truly invigorate you to have that
33:04
confidence within you that what you do.
33:08
I say this a lot you guys, but I truly mean it.
33:10
What you do matters. Wow.
33:12
I'm like having this moment because I'm thinking and
33:14
obviously reflecting on my day at the same time, What you do
33:18
matters. And it's so much about
33:23
connecting at that really relational level and holding
33:28
that hope and being ourselves that that is so, so powerful.
33:35
And so if you are about to navigate endings or you're,
33:38
you've gone through that process yourself, it's important in
33:44
these reflections, I want to acknowledge it's not about
33:46
manufacturing and, and ending or closure.
33:50
And that our presence is more powerful than any words that we
33:55
can give to kids. So much stuff, so much stuff
34:02
here. I want to leave with some things
34:04
because I had like a whole planner, you guys, for this
34:07
episode today and did I follow it?
34:10
What a day, you guys, what a trip.
34:12
What are some things that I want to leave you with?
34:14
I feel like I've left you with so much, but let me just kind of
34:17
add a couple of extra things that I did actually have written
34:19
down. So I want to talk about how the
34:23
relationship lives on inside the child.
34:26
I mean, that's been the whole concept of today.
34:28
I wrote that down and then like I've just gone off in a tangent
34:32
and talked about it and now I'm just checking my notes.
34:34
How cool is that? The relationship lives on inside
34:37
the child. I want to just like almost leave
34:39
the podcast there because I feel like that's so powerful.
34:42
Oh man, I do. I actually think I'm going to
34:44
leave it at that. The relationship lives on inside
34:48
the child. And so it doesn't.
34:52
That ending session doesn't have to be perfect.
34:55
It doesn't have to be textbook. In fact, it's quite the
34:58
opposite. Usually.
35:00
It's sacred. It's such an important space and
35:05
every time I get the chance with any of my clients to do that
35:08
ending session, I am so grateful because it offers recognition of
35:15
that relationship and that connection, but also at the same
35:18
time allowing that child to have an experience where they're
35:22
supported until the very end where they know that they are
35:27
truly seen and heard. I hear you, I see you, I
35:30
understand, and I care. And I literally am doing that
35:34
until the moment they leave my playroom for the last time.
35:38
And that is so deep and powerful for any child to experience.
35:42
So I am always so incredibly grateful to have that
35:46
opportunity. But I want to offer that
35:51
opportunity now as I wrap up this episode and I finish up my
35:55
night because it's time. I need to finish my night
36:00
because I could talk to you guys all night.
36:01
This would be like such a fun if you guys were actually like
36:04
looking at me. I'm looking at my camera and
36:07
just like talking to myself. It's very like not that
36:10
exciting. So hopefully one day I get to
36:13
connect with some of you incredible listeners and be able
36:18
to talk face to face because you can imagine what it would be
36:20
like to talk to me about this stuff.
36:21
We would talk for days, but I want to invite you to reflect on
36:26
your own experiences of endings in Child Centre Play therapy if
36:29
it's coming up for you, if it's something you've had.
36:33
And really give yourself that permission to be proud of
36:38
yourself. Proud of you, and proud of that
36:42
child that you connected with. And proud of how far they came
36:47
and how much work they did and how vulnerable they were and how
36:51
much they taught you about life. Because all of that is true.
36:56
And what a privilege it is to be able to send them on their way,
37:03
knowing that you absolutely gave your best and knowing that it's
37:07
probably a little part of you that's going to be a part of
37:10
them for the rest of their lives as well.
37:12
And I don't mean that egocentrically at all.
37:15
I think if we are able to offer, and Gary Lindres talks about
37:19
this in the out of the relationship around role
37:21
modelling, A socially acceptable relationship.
37:23
If we're able to offer an experience or an example of role
37:26
modelling of a healthy relationship, what an incredible
37:30
opportunity that is for that child to have that, to be able
37:34
to lean into that when they experience challenges down the
37:37
road in their life that they can call on that experience and say,
37:41
well, I know. And I always say, you know, when
37:45
I'm talking to supervisees and to parents to some extent, I'm
37:50
often saying to them, if I've left them a little bit lighter,
37:53
if I've left your child or my client a little bit lighter, I
37:55
feel like I've done my job because at least they go out
38:00
into the world a little less burdened.
38:03
Maybe an additional kind of tool in their toolkit that's, that's
38:08
kind of worst case scenario, right?
38:10
Because I think that that relationship and that connection
38:12
means so much more than that. I'm really kind of drawing that
38:15
down to the basics. But it's just, oh man, I say it
38:20
all the time that when I'm in the playroom, I'm like, this is
38:22
just the biggest privilege ever to be able to do this work and
38:26
to witness this growth and to witness that connection and to
38:30
learn more about myself along the way and to be given that
38:34
gift by the children that I work with.
38:35
So I am so grateful to have had the chance to talk to you guys
38:40
about this. Thank you so much for listening.
38:42
If you are still here, Appreciate you.
38:45
I hope you have a lovely weekend ahead planned, whatever you've
38:48
got planned in your life. I've never done this before, but
38:52
so I'm pivoting topics now. We, I think I said at the
38:55
beginning, we're doing my daughter and I and some mum
38:59
friends and her friends, we're all getting together and we're
39:02
doing Galentine's Day. So in Australia, I think that's
39:06
necessarily a big thing, but it's, I think it's more
39:09
overseas. But whatever, we're gonna do it
39:11
anyway. So I'm super excited, beyond
39:14
excited. So I might post about that in
39:16
the social. So if you follow us on social
39:18
media, feel free to follow along.
39:21
And next week I may change my mind again.
39:24
So I just don't think I should promise an episode of what I'm
39:27
gonna do next week because you never know.
39:29
You never know with me. Thank you so much for listening.
39:32
Hey, follow us along on social media.
39:34
All of our stuff, all of our updates, all of our events, my,
39:40
you know, adventures that I get on.
39:43
I was like, what do I call this? My life is all posted on the
39:47
social media. So check us out at the Play
39:49
Therapy Circle podcast on Facebook, Instagram.
39:53
Instagram's a good one to follow along and Tiktok when I remember
39:59
otherwise. We have, as I said, our
40:01
incredible conference that we are looking forward to
40:03
connecting with so many of you at the end of the year here in
40:06
Brisbane. If you're an international
40:08
listener, we will hopefully be able to offer you some sort of
40:14
access afterwards so that you can watch some of the recordings
40:17
if you can't make it in person. So we are definitely making sure
40:21
that our Play Therapy Circle community is able to connect
40:25
with all of us both locally and internationally at the end.
40:27
End of the year. So I'm very excited.
40:30
More than anything else, I am so grateful to each and everyone of
40:33
you for your support of this podcast.
40:35
I hope that this was helpful and useful for you today.
40:38
Please look after yourselves and each other.
40:40
Go well, and I look forward to seeing you all next week.
40:42
Bye.