Latest / The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast / Dirty Rush: Dropping my sister…that’s crazy!

Transcript

Dirty Rush: Dropping my sister…that’s crazy! · The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Welcome to Dirty Rush, The Truth about Serriti Life with
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: your hosts me Gia Judice, Daisy Kent, and Jennifer Fessler.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of Dirty Rush.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: We are so excited that you guys are loving this
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: podcast as much as we are. And Rush is happening
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: right now for a lot of schools, so we are
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: ready to dive deep. We know people have been wanting
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: this kind of show for years, and we're so glad
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: that you're responding, calling in, leaving voicemails, and sharing your
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: own Rush experiences with the good and the bad. So
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: let's get into it.
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: I'm Gia Judice, I'm jen Fessler, and I'm Daisy Kent.
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: All right, guys, So we've had a lot of people
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: calling in. Let's listen to our first caller.
• 0:52
  Speaker 4: Hi, there, my name is Rosie. I want to call
• 0:55
  Speaker 4: in and leave them constructive feedback. Like Fessler had mentioned,
• 1:00
  Speaker 4: this is a huge untapped market and there is a
• 1:04
  Speaker 4: lot of taboos about talking about the sorority experience, and
• 1:08
  Speaker 4: I think it would be super helpful if you all
• 1:12
  Speaker 4: talked about it from a nationals perspective as well, like
• 1:18
  Speaker 4: why we aren't really allowed.
• 1:20
  Speaker 5: To talk about sorority life and why we're not allowed.
• 1:23
  Speaker 5: Where are letters and the press and those types of things.
• 1:27
  Speaker 5: And then also there was some lingo that I think
• 1:30
  Speaker 5: if we could break down a little bit better, like
• 1:33
  Speaker 5: what a press actually is, what a bid actually is,
• 1:38
  Speaker 5: what a pledge is, what a mixer is, those very
• 1:42
  Speaker 5: things that we talk about in the sorority world. And
• 1:47
  Speaker 5: I think it would be just really helpful for the
• 1:50
  Speaker 5: girls in terms of how to make an informed decision
• 1:54
  Speaker 5: about joining sorority life or not.
• 1:56
  Speaker 6: And of course it.
• 1:57
  Speaker 5: Goes campus to campus, is not a one size fits
• 2:00
  Speaker 5: all approach. But if you are Teresa, Judice.
• 2:03
  Speaker 6: Or and you know a mama or dad that is
• 2:08
  Speaker 6: new to the sorority life or girl that's new to
• 2:10
  Speaker 6: sorority life, what that looks like for you. And I
• 2:14
  Speaker 6: think giving these behind the scenes facts is so helpful
• 2:20
  Speaker 6: for women that are that are thinking about joining this experience.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: There's a lot okay, dirty rushing.
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: I thought it was sort of now, not when I
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: was going through it, but when you rush before school
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: even started, right, And like that whole rush process I
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: hear in a lot of schools happens before rush.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: Okay, so my ver. My definition of like dirty rush
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: was when like kind of like playing dirty. So when
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: we were at Rutgers first semester, we would almost kind
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: of get recruited by a sorority who had interest in us,
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: but behind closed doors so kind of try to They
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: were basically trying to persuade us to go to a
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: sorority before the rushing process started, so that our minds
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: were made up before going through the recruitment process.
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: Okay, Mine was kind of like because we did recruitment
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: right when we got to school. I think we were
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: at school like maybe like two weeks and then we
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: went into recruitment. And so I would say ours was
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: at San Diego State. You would like go out to
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: all the frat parties and meet all the frat guys.
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: None of the like actual sorority girls could go out
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: because I don't know, you weren't allowed. That was like
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: your like dry period or whatever. And so you would
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: go and you would meet all these guys and they
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: were older guys like in the frats, and then they
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: would all tell the sorority girls like what girls they
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: thought were like cool and fun to hang out with
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: and stuff like that. Both were going to the parties,
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: and I had no idea that was happening. And then
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: I remember when I was like sophomore, and I was like,
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: oh my gosh, this is crazy, but it was so fun. Honestly.
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: Wait, that's a wild definition of dirty rushing. Having the
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: frat guys do your homework literally doing this sorority home
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: wark right.
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: I'm they were probably basing it off of something sort
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: of physical, that's just my guess. Yeah, fairly interested in
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: what you were majoring in.
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: Probably, yeah, probably.
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: What about you guys? What about this other lingal rogamma rogramma?
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: Okay? For me, that was like when you get divided
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: into groups, so like you sign up for recruitment and
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: then say, there's a they have like a bunch of
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: ro gramma gammas. So I was with a group of
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: like ten girls and then we have one ro gamma
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: and she's already in a sorority and girl in a sorority.
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: You don't know what sorority she's in, but she's trying
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: to like help you navigate it and help you find
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: the best like place as the best like home and
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: fit for you.
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah, she's she's in a sorority, but she doesn't have
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: any she doesn't try to influence you.
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: No, they can, like they're not allowed.
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: So there anyway.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: No, No, you don't find out until the end. I
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: mean you'll try to guess who, like what sorority they're
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: in as you're going through recruitment, but they're basically in
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: charge of like little groups. Like Daisy said, my definition
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: was pretty much the same thing, except I didn't call
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: them rogammas. They were called pie key's My guys.
• 5:46
  Speaker 3: We didn't have any of this.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: No, you didn't have someone like leading you and directing
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: you through, like to houses and stuff.
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: I mean, we definitely had people leading us through, but
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: there was no I don't remember talking to anyone, but
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: you know, the girls that I was grouped with, it
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: wasn't nobody was giving advice or you know, No, I don't,
• 6:04
  Speaker 3: And if there was someone, we didn't call them rogammas.
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: We probably just called them that nice girl who's helping.
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, honestly, it was so helpful. I remember it. I
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: forget the name of mine, but she was so insanely nice.
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: Really, Yeah, No, I mean they were definitely super helpful,
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: and it was so funny because during the recruitment process
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: we would all try to guess what sorority they were
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: from and what sorority they were in, and basically at
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: the end they would all reveal which sorority they were in,
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: and everyone freaked out and like clapped their hands. It
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: was honestly kind of stupid, but I mean everyone, like
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: everyone got like so high, like learning what sorority they
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: were actually in and when they like revealed their identity.
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: But it was I don't know, some of the things
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: really made me make me say, yeah, literally.
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: Out where they're what other lingo I think she asked
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: what a bid was.
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: Okay, so a bid is basically when you are wanted
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: by the sorority, right.
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, so like at the end, I remember,
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: we got a little card and you like opened it
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: up and like that was my bid to be an alpha.
• 7:24
  Speaker 7: Fy.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And then I guess technically during I guess, as
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: you get called back, I guess that's not really a bid,
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: but I yes, it's like when the sororities are also
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: showing interest in you that they want you back, so yeah,
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: hoping to get a potential bid.
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: At the end, for sure.
• 7:47
  Speaker 3: We're either one of you guys on exact boards, I
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: was you were.
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, So I mean one they say it looks great
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: on your resume, so yeah, is something good just to
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: have like under your belt. But you know, you can
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: obviously be the president, the vice president, treasurer, take one
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: of those lead roles on but they do take a
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: lot of responsibility. So I wanted to do something that
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: was a little more fun and maybe not as much responsibility.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: So I was Special Chair of Events, So I basically
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: coordinated like all of our big events, which I like
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: doing anyway. I kind of like party planning. So I
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: planned like our b Mock, which was big man on
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: campus for at Rutgers, and that was like our breast
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: Cancer Walk because that was our philanthropy breast cancer. And
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: so I planned b Mock parents Weekend and a lot
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: of the bigger events that Zeta would do at Rutgers.
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: So that was a super fun, like little position to
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: have on the on the board. But I wasn't like
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: an exact because wasn't the exacts like that's like the
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: first here, and then.
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: I would there's like ones under it.
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so I was the ones like under it. But
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: then exec is like the people who are all sitting
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: at the front during your chapter meetings.
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I did chair your rush chair rush Chair,
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, probably so fun.
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and I I wrote all of these songs to
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: you guys probably don't even know West Side Story like
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: back in the day, but I wrote all when You're
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: a PI, You're a FI all the way, like all
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: of this, like the dances, and that was.
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: Like you were definitely a nice rush chair.
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, rush chair was, well what is it?
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: I mean back then I was rush chair meeting that
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: I was like I was in charge of like all
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: of the skits.
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like putting together Yeah that's your little dances.
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: Right, Yes, that's what it is, right, I mean I
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: start didn't do anything like I think.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: It's also mainly now also like going through the social
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: media and the snagrams and finding your potential recruits that
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: you really want.
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: So you didn't have social media, you guys. It was
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: a whole different world. It was a group of girls
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: showing up a big group and us singing West Side
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: Story and hoping that they were going to think that
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: we were fabulous. It was just so different.
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it is so different with social media. I was
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: on an execue, I did panelnic delegate, so I like
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: went and met with the school and met with Panelonic
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: when they came in and talked to them. So that
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: was really interesting because our.
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: School to get mixers approved.
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and like if you're you were on like probation
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: or something like that, if your sorority or whatever, it
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: was because you would show up to the meeting at
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: school on campus and and it would be like all
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: the other sororities there too, which it was fun because
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: I was friends with a bunch of girls and other
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: sororities too, so it was kind of a way to
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: like mix some mingle that way too, and you could
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: like pair up with a sorority and like do things together.
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: So it was fun. But I definitely like I always
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: knew like the tea that was going on, I felt like.
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: But then I also had to like do accreditation for people.
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: So accreditation was like I think a good thing about
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: sororities is that they like they make you do community service.
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: You have to keep a certain GPA. So I was
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: in charge of like tracking all of that and making
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: sure girls got the amount of community service they had
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: to do, making sure they were still at like a GPA,
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: and then making sure they went to like certain events
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: that like supported other philanthropies too. We did that, So, yeah,
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: that's what I did.
• 11:49
  Speaker 3: Did you enjoy it? Would you suggest it?
• 11:52
  Speaker 7: So?
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: I actually I wasn't gonna do it, and then they
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: like needed somebody and people were asking me to do it,
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: and I was like, Okay, I guess I'll do it.
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: So a little forced, yeah, but honestly, I like, I
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: think that's kind of how I did it too.
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: I can't see me like just volunteering on it and
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: it kept having more responsibility.
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think. Do you know what I think is
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: the hardest job on exec is risk chair? Oh my god,
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: I know that's.
• 12:23
  Speaker 3: Where you I think from what I remember my son
• 12:26
  Speaker 3: because I think he did. Don't you sit outside of
• 12:27
  Speaker 3: parties for boy?
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: Is that what that is? And you can't kind of
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: you're just like you're in charge of like the girls
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: at your sorority. So if someone like is in like trouble,
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: or if someone like drinks too much, if something like
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: that happens, like you're the one, like people are always
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: like able to call kind of and at like pref
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: and like formals, you're in charge of like being the
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: one kind.
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: Of you have to be sober, Yeah, yeah, your risk chair.
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: You have to be sober at these events. And I mean,
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: of course, you know times maybe they'll sneak a drink
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: or too, I think, and you're always the bad guy.
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you're always the bad guy. That's why I think
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: it's the hardest like one to be because you always
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: have to be like keeping ever.
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: Only remember that for my son, like he'd be on
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: a cell phone like outside whatever party, Like this sucks.
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: I don't know why I volunteered for this.
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: I mean because he probably had a monitor who was
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: coming in and out of the frat.
• 13:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah.
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: It's not a fun not a fun job.
• 13:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah right, So any other lingo you guys, I mean,
• 13:37
  Speaker 3: I'm sure we're gonna.
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: Come up with dorm storming dorms, which this is like interesting,
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: but like I don't think this was a part of
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: like my recruitment process. I think it was just the
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: normal thing to do when you were a freshman. So
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: apparently dorm storming is it's basically going from door to
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: door in your dorm or residence halls to basically like
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: interact with the people on your whole, like on your
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: whole and.
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: Just like.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: Kind of recruit them for recruitment, But I don't think
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: anyone ever did that. Like I think it was mainly
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: like for us going into my freshman year, it was normal.
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: Like I remember I was setting up my dorm room
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: freshman year and one of my good friends was a
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: cheerleader at Rutgers, and she like just walked into my
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: dorm and was like, hey, so, like I'm a cheerleader
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: here at Rutgers and was like so kiddy, And I
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, what is going on? But
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: she's been she was like at Rutgers all summer because
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: she was training and like practicing for the cheer team.
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: So she was like so excited when we all moved
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: in because she's like, I've been so lonely all summer,
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: Like I'm so excited to meet new friends. And I
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: think it was just the normal thing to do as
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: a freshman, just kind of knock on everyone's door, introduce
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: yourself and kind of get to know people just going
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: into school. I don't think it really had anything to
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: do necessarily with recruitment. What do you guys think, I
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: honestly have never heard of that before. But but you
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: did the same thing right on when you were a freshman.
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: You kind of went to people's doors, introduced yourself, made
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: the friends of people on your whole one.
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: Hundred percent, and we kept our like dorm door always opened,
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: Me and my roommate Christy. It's actually funny. Thor, my
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: boyfriend was my next door neighbor in the dorm.
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: That's so funny, and so you probably met him by
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: watch your boyfriend's name door.
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: I loved Daisy and Thor. That's like its own episode.
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: We're gonna talk about that.
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: I was like, it was funny when we were moving
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: in together because people were like, oh, how is it
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: like moving in together? And I was like, well, you
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: know when I was nineteen. He definitely saw me at
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: my worst and my best in the dorm room next door.
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: So I was like, I don't think I can be
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: most much worse than that.
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: He saw it all.
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: What about a suicide bid that was a risky thing.
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, So that's like when you only I mean
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: from my knowledge because I remember a roguam like telling
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: us not to do this. It's when you only put
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: like one sorority. So say you're on pref preface is
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: the last night before you go to get your bid
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: and you have two sororities and I didn't want one
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: at all, but I wanted the other one, and I
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: only put like Alpha FY and I didn't put anything else.
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: And they know that then that they know that you're
• 16:45
  Speaker 3: like yeah, all.
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: In yes, because then if you only put down one
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: like during like on PREF day, like after you go
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: to the voting room and you kind of rank which
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: sorority you want from great is to lease? So one
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: two three and or is it two for PREF or
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: is it three?
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: Do you guys remember you mine was two the only.
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: Reason, so okay, so then it probably is, oh yeah,
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: because I prefed I think GFI and ZATA, so I yeah,
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: I think it is maybe two. And then if you
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: only put one sorority down and that sorority ended up
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: not choosing you, then you you get into nothing. So
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: that's why it's called suicide bid, because you could potentially
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: risk not getting into a sorority at all. So you
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: just went through this whole process and then you could
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: essentially like end up with nothing.
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: And I think it's because the sorority, I don't think
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: they necessarily know, but Panolynic knows. Because Panolymic, it's like
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: the sorority will put their bid in for you and
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: then you put what you want in and then it
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: kind of like matches up that way. But Panelmtic I
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: think hates it when you do just one. So I
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: think that that's part of the reason why too.
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know.
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: It's like I don't know how to extend. It's like
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: so much. I'm like thinking back to that time, I'm like, whoa, imagine,
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: imagine And I think, probably, Daisy, it was better that
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: you didn't know anything going in every way. Honestly, yeah,
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: I think I would have been like losing my mind
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: a little bit. But also I think San Diego State
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: like is not as intense at all as like other schools.
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: So I mean at first when I first went in,
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: I was like what am I doing? And then I
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: suck with it because my roommate and like, I'm so
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: happy I did. I ended up having the time of
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: my life. Let's in the collar, hi, Grace.
• 19:02
  Speaker 8: Another interesting element is I have a younger two younger sisters.
• 19:08
  Speaker 8: One of them went through Rush two years later while
• 19:11
  Speaker 8: I was at school, and one is going through rush
• 19:14
  Speaker 8: right now. But the interesting thing is that my sorority
• 19:19
  Speaker 8: actually dropped both of.
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: Them in the first You actually just reminded me of
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: something that I was gonna say to you that during COVID, though,
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: that was also of something that happened very often they
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: screwed up, kind of like the legacy you know of
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: a sister when, because it doesn't matter across all boards,
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: say your sister didn't even go to the same college
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: that you went to, she should always have that legacy
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: of getting into that sorority wherever. So they really screwed
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: that up. I know for a fact COVID during COVID
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: and not during COVID. It seems to be always a mistake.
• 20:02
  Speaker 7: But wow, that would have been interesting somehow.
• 20:06
  Speaker 8: I think that happened at my school too, where it
• 20:08
  Speaker 8: just messed up the way that they did things to
• 20:10
  Speaker 8: where legacy really was not as important as it may
• 20:14
  Speaker 8: have used to them. And that is something that really
• 20:18
  Speaker 8: put me off.
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: And just that's true.
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: Contact your sorority after.
• 20:24
  Speaker 8: Yeah, I did, and they had zero good excuse for it.
• 20:29
  Speaker 7: They were like, oh, it must have just slipped through
• 20:31
  Speaker 7: the cracks.
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you guys, where do when they vote now? Like,
• 20:34
  Speaker 3: because that would have never happened back in the day.
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: A sister forget it in a way. But that was
• 20:41
  Speaker 3: also a time where you everybody will put their heads
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: down and you would like raise your hand. Like it
• 20:47
  Speaker 3: wasn't like social like you can vote now, is there
• 20:49
  Speaker 3: like an app that you can vote on? So like
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: it's so anonymous.
• 20:53
  Speaker 8: Yeah, that's what the US in ours as you like
• 20:56
  Speaker 8: rank people through an app, and a lot more of
• 20:58
  Speaker 8: it is done through technology.
• 20:59
  Speaker 7: So maybe that's how people kind of slipped through the crocs.
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: But what what was that app called I forget.
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: Not remember for the life of me, But it was.
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: And yeah, it was like a whole system.
• 21:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah no, I just there was that would not that
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: wouldn't have happened. I don't think when I went on paper, Yeah, yeah,
• 21:19
  Speaker 3: when I went in, it was a three computer. We
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: had three Three of my best friends were already in
• 21:25
  Speaker 3: a FI because I was a transfer student, and it
• 21:29
  Speaker 3: was just nobody was going to go I mean, there
• 21:31
  Speaker 3: were three of them, so nobody was going to give them,
• 21:34
  Speaker 3: you know, any shit. So it was kind of like
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: a shoeing. But I but even like that, like if
• 21:41
  Speaker 3: you had a mother that was a FI you were
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: getting in.
• 21:45
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 21:45
  Speaker 8: See that's an interesting thing too, because I had an
• 21:48
  Speaker 8: aunt that went to the same school as me, and
• 21:50
  Speaker 8: she was like, oh, you definitely will be able to
• 21:52
  Speaker 8: get through and just be a kapa because that's what
• 21:56
  Speaker 8: she was. And no, they dropped me both times.
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: It would be interesting to like see how Greek life evolves,
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: even like in the next like ten years.
• 22:08
  Speaker 8: I know, I think so too, because it's weird. I
• 22:10
  Speaker 8: feel like I've seen so much change in the years
• 22:14
  Speaker 8: that I was in.
• 22:15
  Speaker 7: School, and yeah, it seems to be evolving a lot.
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: So oh one hundred. I think sororities used.
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: To be more fun back in back, probably when you
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: were in a sorority jet than they were now, I
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: mean than they are now.
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it was fun, but there was other you know,
• 22:31
  Speaker 3: there was other shitty things that happened back then that
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: wouldn't happen today, right, I mean, you know, just a
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: lot of stuff like the mixing with the frats and
• 22:43
  Speaker 3: you know, getting called and like standing in front of
• 22:46
  Speaker 3: the house like when you got your bid and then
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: I think I told you guys about this couple episodes ago,
• 22:51
  Speaker 3: but like all the boys would show up and like pick,
• 22:53
  Speaker 3: I don't know, there was a bunch of just yeah,
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: that's crazy, like just in case you had self esteem
• 22:58
  Speaker 3: for a minute, because you got in like next the
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: next minute, you're the only one without Maybe this is
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: just my experience without a date. I mean that was right,
• 23:08
  Speaker 3: but yes, but I mean it was now we didn't
• 23:10
  Speaker 3: have to contend with a lot of the stuff. I
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: don't even know how you guys do it now. It's
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: a lot, especially looking at these schools in the South
• 23:17
  Speaker 3: and what's going on. It's absolutely over the top crazy, right, Yeah, and.
• 23:22
  Speaker 8: That's pretty insane and just I think the social media
• 23:25
  Speaker 8: elements crazy.
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: If you don't mind me asking what school was.
• 23:29
  Speaker 7: It, I don't think. I don't think I want to say.
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: Okay, no problem, but you were you said it was
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: down south though, Yeah, so it was really intense.
• 23:42
  Speaker 8: Yeah, big Texas schools and and so just very intense.
• 23:48
  Speaker 8: And the moms even are very intense. The whole ordeal.
• 23:54
  Speaker 8: It's just I don't know, to a certain extent, I
• 23:58
  Speaker 8: liked it, and I gained a lot of great friends
• 24:00
  Speaker 8: out of it, but looking back, there's so much superficialness
• 24:04
  Speaker 8: to the whole thing that just makes me feel a
• 24:07
  Speaker 8: little bit icky.
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: That's why I feel like it used to be way
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: more authentic than what it is now.
• 24:15
  Speaker 7: Yeah, definitely, it.
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: Was always superficial though, Guys. There was always a level
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: of that I think.
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, I feel like it is, and then
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: you got to get like past that and find your
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: like good friends.
• 24:29
  Speaker 8: Yeah, it's definitely the core of all of it. Once
• 24:33
  Speaker 8: you find like your friends from it, that's what you meant.
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so your sister and your cousin aren't in it
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: right now. I remember when my sisters were rushing. I
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: was so nervous for them. So you probably feel the pressure.
• 24:49
  Speaker 7: Yeah, I am feeling the pressure a little bit. I
• 24:52
  Speaker 7: mostly just feel for them so much because I know
• 24:55
  Speaker 7: how it feels to go through the process.
• 24:57
  Speaker 8: And have it go really poorly or have it go
• 24:59
  Speaker 8: really well. Even when it is going well, it's not
• 25:02
  Speaker 8: a cake walk like. It still is intense and it
• 25:05
  Speaker 8: brings up so much emotion. So they have both been
• 25:09
  Speaker 8: calling me constantly in tears, are so happy, and it's
• 25:14
  Speaker 8: such a rollercoaster, you know, And so I'm trying to
• 25:17
  Speaker 8: support them through the best I can, and luckily I
• 25:20
  Speaker 8: can empathize. So that's definitely something that's been really cool
• 25:25
  Speaker 8: throughout the whole process. But mostly I'm just excited for
• 25:28
  Speaker 8: them to be done with it and start school and
• 25:31
  Speaker 8: get to actually feel the benefit of the crazy process
• 25:35
  Speaker 8: that they've been through. But one of them, my sister,
• 25:40
  Speaker 8: it's going really well for she's gotten maybe not all
• 25:45
  Speaker 8: the houses back, but a lot of the.
• 25:47
  Speaker 7: Ones that she likes.
• 25:48
  Speaker 8: And then unfortunately my cousin, it's a little bit more
• 25:51
  Speaker 8: touch and go.
• 25:52
  Speaker 7: She's not sure about the houses that she had back.
• 25:55
  Speaker 8: Originally she got all I think it was ten that
• 25:59
  Speaker 8: you could get in the first she got ten backs,
• 26:01
  Speaker 8: she was kind of on top of the world. And
• 26:04
  Speaker 8: then actually this morning she found out that she got
• 26:08
  Speaker 8: I think only three out of six back for the
• 26:10
  Speaker 8: next round. So I know that that's been kind of
• 26:12
  Speaker 8: hard on her.
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: It's crazy that drop that can happen.
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I know it's.
• 26:19
  Speaker 7: Because, I mean, getting ten back that's pretty rare. It's
• 26:23
  Speaker 7: a big deal.
• 26:24
  Speaker 8: Yeah, So to go from ten to three, I mean,
• 26:30
  Speaker 8: my heart just hurts like that never feels good, even if.
• 26:33
  Speaker 3: She's so glad she has you though, what.
• 26:36
  Speaker 8: I'm really glad that I can help them through it
• 26:39
  Speaker 8: because I know that when I was going through the process,
• 26:41
  Speaker 8: I really wish that I had more people that I could.
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: Kind of lean on.
• 26:44
  Speaker 7: Who had gone through it and understood.
• 26:46
  Speaker 3: And maybe there is something to be said for these
• 26:48
  Speaker 3: sorority coaches. Maybe there is, like, you know, something to
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: have somebody who actually does it professionally and understands what
• 26:57
  Speaker 3: can happen at any given moment and can kind of
• 26:59
  Speaker 3: coach you, you know, through it a little bit and help
• 27:03
  Speaker 3: out just the whole the emotions of it all.
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: Maybe if it's a nice sorority coach, they're looking out
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: for your mental health and not maybe what color you
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: should change your hair. I mean, at least you went
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: through kind of I guess both experiences grace, like you
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: had one that wasn't so great and one that obviously
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: it got better at the end. So I feel like
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: that definitely, you know, is helping your cousin out right now,
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: because even if things don't go as planned for her
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: right now, just tell her to try again.
• 27:35
  Speaker 8: M M. I know, I think that could be good.
• 27:38
  Speaker 8: And they have Cob and all of that, so I
• 27:42
  Speaker 8: know that she'll be fine and if it's meant to be,
• 27:44
  Speaker 8: she'll find that home eventually, and who knows even through
• 27:48
  Speaker 8: Oh my god, yes.
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: The COB is you just brought up another sorority wit good.
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: I said, I don't know what it is.
• 27:56
  Speaker 7: So continuous open bidding, right, yeah.
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like you basically just kind of get accepted in.
• 28:05
  Speaker 8: Right.
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: It's if you're it's after rush and they have a
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: couple of girls that they can bring in if they want,
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: but typically it happens this semester after Yeah.
• 28:16
  Speaker 8: I think it's if the sorority doesn't meet their quota
• 28:19
  Speaker 8: or if some people like end up accepting a bid
• 28:22
  Speaker 8: but then not going to the situation, they'll have extra
• 28:26
  Speaker 8: spots and they'll kind of like just yeah, it's a
• 28:30
  Speaker 8: much chiller process, so kind of just.
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: Be like they don't have to do anything. They just
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: walk in the door.
• 28:36
  Speaker 7: You know, she wants to be a theater or whatever,
• 28:39
  Speaker 7: and they're like welcome.
• 28:40
  Speaker 3: What does it stand for?
• 28:41
  Speaker 7: So you'll be continuous, got it? So that's always a
• 28:47
  Speaker 7: good option too. I wish I could have done.
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: That would have been so much.
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: You know, I hope your cousins experience only goes up
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: from here, and I'm happy that your sister yes doing great.
• 29:14
  Speaker 3: Wow, Okay, you guys. I feel for her obviously. I
• 29:18
  Speaker 3: feel for her cousin and her sister, But to be
• 29:22
  Speaker 3: outside of it and somebody you love is going through it.
• 29:26
  Speaker 3: And again I mean I had a daughter go through it,
• 29:27
  Speaker 3: and it's a different experience. It's almost harder.
• 29:34
  Speaker 2: I think.
• 29:36
  Speaker 3: I don't know, it's just knowing that, like I wanted
• 29:41
  Speaker 3: anybody that was going to reject my daughter Rachel, they
• 29:44
  Speaker 3: had to die a slow and painful death. It's still
• 29:46
  Speaker 3: like that, like she doesn't get a job, or she
• 29:49
  Speaker 3: doesn't get the boy. That has to No, it has
• 29:52
  Speaker 3: to be slow and painful. That person is dead, must
• 29:54
  Speaker 3: be wiped off the map. So like you know, is
• 29:56
  Speaker 3: a mom of it or cut like you want the
• 29:58
  Speaker 3: whole sorority, especially if it's your sorority. Imagine your own
• 30:00
  Speaker 3: sorty is rejecting your sister.
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: No so much?
• 30:04
  Speaker 4: No good?
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah No, I definitely believe that it's harder as a
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: mom watching it because I even I think about my
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: mom and like anything I've gone through in my life.
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: I remember one time she told me, she said, anything
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: that I go through is ten times harder than anything
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: she's ever gone through, like for her like watching and
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: having to like watch me go through it if I'm
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: like going through something hard. So I totally believe that.
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: And my little sister too, someone does her wrong.
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, I want a pound.
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you guys see that.
• 30:39
  Speaker 3: There's a TikTok right now of this mom who has
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: life three sixty or whatever it is. So she's following
• 30:46
  Speaker 3: her daughter through the process. She's like, Okay, now she's
• 30:49
  Speaker 3: at I don't know. Now she's at theta. Now she's
• 30:52
  Speaker 3: oh my god, why did she stay in theata for
• 30:54
  Speaker 3: so long? Why didn't she walk out?
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: You guys, No, it's it's a little girl.
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: I can't.
• 31:00
  Speaker 3: I feel like I might have done that if it
• 31:03
  Speaker 3: was if it wasn't all on zoom. But she's like
• 31:07
  Speaker 3: freaking out, like, wait a second, wait a second, why
• 31:10
  Speaker 3: is she out on the porch. Why isn't she going in?
• 31:12
  Speaker 3: She taught like just the whole thing is so.
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: Hyper and honestly, yeah, yeah, I mean I think right now, obviously,
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: even for Grace and her cousin and her sister, I know,
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: it feels like the end of the world. But after
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: college or even after your freshman year, literally it doesn't
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: even matter.
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: It doesn't matter. It's like it's such That's why I
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: hate how like it's it's like.
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: A fever dream in yeah, but then it goes away
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: no matter.
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: What you are going to be okay, like if you're
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: in a sorority, if you're not in a sorority, you're
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: going to be fine, Like everything is going to be amazing.
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: But it's like in that moment for some people.
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: So many of my friends didn't rush, some of them
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: got dropped from everything, some of them didn't have the GPI.
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: And you know a lot of my friends, you wouldn't
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: expect them to get dropped either. Pretty girls, you wouldn't.
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: You wouldn't think that they would. But it's also hard
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: if you get blacklisted or if you have a certain
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: reputation from.
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: I want to talk about that on one of our episodes,
• 32:20
  Speaker 3: guys about getting get blacklisted and that what that's about.
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: Definitely, Well, I think it's a lot easier for girls
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: to get blacklisted if they're rushing their sophomore year or
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: if they're a transfer, because then it allows obviously the
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: sororities to get to know you and look at you
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: while you're out, and if they kind of don't like
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: what they see, then you could get blacklisted. Or if
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: you're screwing a sorority sister's boyfriend or this or that,
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: And that's why this one girl got blacklisted because she
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: was she didn't know, and that's the hard part as
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: a fresh you don't know these frat boys and who
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: they're dating and all the ties and literally I felt
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: so bad. But my one friend in college, she got
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: blacklisted and she couldn't rush because she ended up somebody
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: having sex with someone's boyfriend and she had no idea.
• 33:24
  Speaker 3: The girls and I could be I'm just thinking about
• 33:26
  Speaker 3: it delaware, Like I don't think that they were allowed
• 33:29
  Speaker 3: as freshmen to go to parties like with frat boys,
• 33:32
  Speaker 3: because they're very thing. Once you were in, you couldn't.
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: But what if you didn't rush your freshman year?
• 33:41
  Speaker 3: Give a shit and you went, But if you were
• 33:42
  Speaker 3: rushing or in a sorority.
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: Then you weren't allowed.
• 33:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 33:47
  Speaker 2: Well, I don't know if I was supposed to or not.
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: We weren't allowed to go out like during the rush process,
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: but I definitely went out for semester for sure. And
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: then yeah, I mean if girls didn't have the GPA
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: and weren't allowed to rush freshman year, my friends went
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: out and I think you're the craziest your freshman year.
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: I could be wrong, Like I feel like that's the worst,
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: Like everyone was.
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: Ushman year is crazy, honestly though, there's nothing like it.
• 34:19
  Speaker 2: Though it's so fun too.
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: So that was one of my best year, my freshman year, right,
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: my best year.
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: It's just everything so new and exciting and scary too.
• 34:30
  Speaker 2: But it's like all of that like compiled together, makes
• 34:35
  Speaker 2: it great.
• 34:36
  Speaker 3: To say she felt bad for anyone that didn't go
• 34:38
  Speaker 3: to Delaware. I was like, Rachel, I feel like they're okay,
• 34:45
  Speaker 3: They're okay, they're getting through.
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: It's funny.
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a great way to feel.
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: Not everybody does, Oh my gosh, for sure.
• 34:53
  Speaker 3: For sure. There's so many And I love you guys.
• 34:55
  Speaker 3: The message that you guys are sending out that it's
• 34:58
  Speaker 3: going to be okay coming from two girls. I love
• 35:01
  Speaker 3: being in a sorority, you know, and that you have
• 35:04
  Speaker 3: so many friends who didn't work out for in terms
• 35:06
  Speaker 3: of whatever getting into the top tier.
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: Definitely. Yeah, So anyone listening, if you're going through it,
• 35:14
  Speaker 2: if you went through it, or if you're a mom
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: watching your daughter go through it, or a sibling or anyone,
• 35:20
  Speaker 2: no matter what, it'll be okay.
• 35:22
  Speaker 3: Thank you, Miss Daisy