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16 - Unnatural Death by Dorothy L. Sayers · Unnatural Death

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  Speaker 1: Chapter sixteen of Unnatural Death by Dorothy Sayers. This LibriVox
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  Speaker 1: recording is in the public domain. A cast iron alibi. Oh, Sammy, Sammy,
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  Speaker 1: why weren't there an alibi? Pickwick papers, Miss Whittaker and
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  Speaker 1: the youngest Miss Findlater had returned from their expedition. Miss Clemson,
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  Speaker 1: most faithful of Sleuth's and carrying Lord Peter's letter of
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  Speaker 1: instructions in the pocket of her skirt like a talisman,
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  Speaker 1: had asked the youngest Miss Findlater to tea. As a
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  Speaker 1: matter of fact, Miss Clemson had become genuinely interested in
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  Speaker 1: the girl. Silly affectation and gush and a parrot repetition
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  Speaker 1: of the shibboleths of the modern school were symptoms that
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  Speaker 1: the experienced spinster well understood. They indicated she thought a
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  Speaker 1: real unhappiness, a real dissatisfaction with the narrowness of life
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  Speaker 1: in a country town. And besides this, Miss Clemson felt
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  Speaker 1: sure that Vera Findlater was being preyed upon, as she
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  Speaker 1: expressed it to herself by the handsome Mary Whittaker. It
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  Speaker 1: would be a mercy for the girl, thought Miss Clemson,
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  Speaker 1: if she could form a genuine attachment to a young man.
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  Speaker 1: It is natural for a schoolgirl to be schvalmolish in
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  Speaker 1: a young woman of twenty two, that is thoroughly undesirable.
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  Speaker 1: That Whittaker woman encourages it. She would, of course, she
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  Speaker 1: likes to have someone to admire her and run her errands,
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  Speaker 1: and she prefers it to be a stupid person who
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  Speaker 1: will not go pete with her. If Mary Whittaker were
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  Speaker 1: to marry, she would marry a rabbit. Miss Clemson's active
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  Speaker 1: mind quickly conjured up a picture of the rabbit, fair
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  Speaker 1: haired and a little paunchy, with a habit of saying,
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  Speaker 1: I'll ask the wife. Miss Clemson wondered why Providence saw
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  Speaker 1: fit to create such men. For Miss Clemson, men were
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  Speaker 1: intended to be masterful, even though wicked or foolish. She
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  Speaker 1: was a spinster maid, not born a perfectly womanly woman,
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  Speaker 1: but thought Miss Clemson, Mary Whittaker is not of the
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  Speaker 1: marrying sort. She is a professional woman by nature. She
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  Speaker 1: has a profession, by the way, but she does not
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  Speaker 1: intend to go back to it. Probably nursing demands too
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  Speaker 1: much sympathy, and one is under the authority of the doctors.
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  Speaker 1: Mary Whittaker prefers to control the lives of chickens better
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  Speaker 1: to reign in hell than serve in heaven. Dear me,
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  Speaker 1: I wonder if it is an uncharitable thing for me
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  Speaker 1: to compare a fellow being to Satan only in poetry.
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  Speaker 1: Of course, I dare say that makes it not so
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  Speaker 1: bad at any rate. I am certain that Mary Whittaker
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  Speaker 1: is doing vera findlater no good. Miss Clemson's guest was
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  Speaker 1: very ready to tell about their month in the country.
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  Speaker 1: They had toured round at first for a few days,
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  Speaker 1: and then they had heard of a delightful poultry farm
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  Speaker 1: which was for sale near Orpington in Kent. So they
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  Speaker 1: had gone down to have a look at it and
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  Speaker 1: found that it was to be sold in about a
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  Speaker 1: fortnight's time. It wouldn't have been wise, of course, to
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  Speaker 1: take it over without some inquiries, And by the greatest
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  Speaker 1: good fortune they found a dear little cottage to let
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  Speaker 1: furnished quite close by, so they had taken it for
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  Speaker 1: a few weeks while Miss Whittaker looked around and found
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  Speaker 1: out about the state of the poultry business in that
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  Speaker 1: district and so on. They had enjoyed it so and
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  Speaker 1: it was delightful keeping house together right away from all
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  Speaker 1: the silly people at home. Of course, I don't mean you,
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  Speaker 1: Miss Clemson. You come from London and are so much
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  Speaker 1: more broad minded, But I simply can't stick the Leehampton lot,
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  Speaker 1: nor can marry. It is very delightful, said Miss Clemson,
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  Speaker 1: to be free from conventions, I'm sure, especially if one
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  Speaker 1: in company with a kindred spirit. Yes, of course Mary
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  Speaker 1: and I are tremendous friends, though she is so much
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  Speaker 1: cleverer than I am. It's absolutely settled that we're to
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  Speaker 1: take the farm and run it together. Won't it be wonderful?
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  Speaker 1: Won't you find it rather dull and lonely just you
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  Speaker 1: two girls together. You mustn't forget that you've been accustomed
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  Speaker 1: to see quite a lot of young people in Leehampton.
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  Speaker 1: Shan't you miss the tennis parties and the young men
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  Speaker 1: and so on? Oh no, if you only knew what
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  Speaker 1: a stupid lot they are. Anyway, I've no use for men,
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  Speaker 1: Miss findlater tossed her head. They haven't got any ideas,
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  Speaker 1: and they always look on women as sort of pets
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  Speaker 1: or playthings, as if a woman like Mary wasn't worth
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  Speaker 1: fifty of them. You should have heard that markham Man
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  Speaker 1: the other day talking politics to mister treadgoll so that
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  Speaker 1: nobody could get a word in edgeways, and then saying,
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  Speaker 1: I'm afraid this is a very dull subject of conversation
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  Speaker 1: for you, miss Whittaker, in his condescending way. Mary said,
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  Speaker 1: in that quiet way of hers, oh, I think the
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  Speaker 1: subject is anything but dull, mister Markham. But he was
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  Speaker 1: so stupid he couldn't even grasp that, and said, one
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  Speaker 1: doesn't expect ladies to be interested in politics, you know,
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  Speaker 1: but perhaps you are one of the modern young ladies
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  Speaker 1: who want the flappers vote ladies. Indeed, why are men
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  Speaker 1: so insufferable when they talk about ladies? I think men
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  Speaker 1: are apt to be jealous of women, replied Miss Clemson thoughtfully,
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  Speaker 1: And jealousy does make people rather peevish and ill mannered.
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  Speaker 1: I suppose that when one would like to despise a
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  Speaker 1: set of people and yet has a horrid suspicion that
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  Speaker 1: one can't genuinely despise them, it makes one exaggerate one's
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  Speaker 1: contempt for them in conversation. That is why, my dear,
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  Speaker 1: I am always very careful not to speak sneeringly about men,
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  Speaker 1: even though they often deserve it, you know. But if
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  Speaker 1: I did everybody would think I was an envious old maid,
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  Speaker 1: wouldn't they. Well, I mean to be an old maid anyhow,
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  Speaker 1: retorted Miss Findlater. Mary and I have quite decided that
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  Speaker 1: we are interested in things, not men. You've made a
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  Speaker 1: good start at finding out how it's going to work,
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  Speaker 1: said Miss Clemson. Living with a person for a month
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  Speaker 1: is an excellent text. I suppose you had somebody to
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  Speaker 1: do the housework for you, not a soul. We did
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  Speaker 1: every bit of it, and it was great fun. I'm
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  Speaker 1: ever so good at scrubbing floors and laying fires and things,
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  Speaker 1: and Mary's a simply marvelous cook. It was such a
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  Speaker 1: change from having the servants always bothering round like they
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  Speaker 1: do at home. Of course, it was quite a modern
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  Speaker 1: labor saving cottage. It belongs to some theatrical people, I think.
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  Speaker 1: And what did you do when you weren't inquiring into
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  Speaker 1: the poultry business. Oh? We ran around in the car
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  Speaker 1: and saw places and attended markets. Markets are frightfully amusing,
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  Speaker 1: with all the funny old farmers and people. Of course,
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  Speaker 1: I'd often been to markets before, but Mary made it
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  Speaker 1: all so interesting. And then too, we were picking up
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  Speaker 1: hints all the time for our own marketing. Later on,
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  Speaker 1: did you run up to town at all? No, I
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  Speaker 1: should have thought you'd have taken the opportunity for a
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  Speaker 1: little jaunt. Mary hates town. I thought you rather enjoyed
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  Speaker 1: a run up now and then. I'm not keen, not now.
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  Speaker 1: I used to think I was. But I expect that
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  Speaker 1: was only the sort of spiritual restlessness one gets when
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  Speaker 1: one hasn't an object in life. There's nothing in it.
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  Speaker 1: Miss findlater spoke with the air of a disillusioned rake
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  Speaker 1: who has sucked life's orange and found it dead sea fruit.
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  Speaker 1: Miss Clemson did not smile. She was accustomed to the
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  Speaker 1: role of confidant. So you were together, just you two,
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  Speaker 1: all the time, every minute of it, and we weren't
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  Speaker 1: bored with one another a bit. I hope your experiment
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  Speaker 1: will prove very successful, said Miss Clemson. But when you
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  Speaker 1: really start on your life together, don't you think it
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  Speaker 1: would be wise to arrange for a few breaks in it.
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  Speaker 1: A little change of companionship is good for everybody. I've
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  Speaker 1: known so many happy friendships spoilt by people seeing too
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  Speaker 1: much of one another. They couldn't have been real friendships, then,
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  Speaker 1: asserted the girl dogmatically, Mary and I are absolutely happy together. Still,
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  Speaker 1: said Miss Clemson. If you don't mind an old woman
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  Speaker 1: giving you a word of warning, I should be inclined
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  Speaker 1: not to keep the bow always bent. Suppose Miss Whittaker,
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  Speaker 1: for instance, wanted to go off and have a day
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  Speaker 1: in town on her own, say, or go to stay
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  Speaker 1: with friends, you would have to learn not to mind that.
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  Speaker 1: Of course, I shouldn't mind why she checked herself. I mean,
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  Speaker 1: I'm quite sure that Mary would be every bit as
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  Speaker 1: loyal to me as I am to her. That's right,
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  Speaker 1: said Miss Clemson. The longer I live, my dear, the
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  Speaker 1: more certain I become that jealousy is the most fatal
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  Speaker 1: of feelings. The Bible calls it cruel as the grave,
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  Speaker 1: and I'm sure that is so. Absolute loyalty without jealousy
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  Speaker 1: is the essential thing, Yes, though naturally one would hate
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  Speaker 1: to think that the person one was really friends with
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  Speaker 1: was putting another person in one's place. Miss Clemson, you
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  Speaker 1: do believe, don't you, that a friendship ought to be
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  Speaker 1: fifty fifty. That is the ideal friendship, I suppose, said
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  Speaker 1: Miss Clemson thoughtfully. But I think it is a very
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  Speaker 1: rare thing among women, that is, I doubt very much
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  Speaker 1: if I've ever seen an example of it. Men, I
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  Speaker 1: believe find it easier to give and take in that way,
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  Speaker 1: probably because they have so many outside interests. Men's friendships, No, yes,
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  Speaker 1: I know one hears a lot about them, But half
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  Speaker 1: the time I don't believe they're real friendships at all.
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  Speaker 1: Men can go off for years and forget about all
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  Speaker 1: their friends, and they don't really confide in one another.
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  Speaker 1: Mary and I tell each other all our thoughts and feelings.
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  Speaker 1: Men seem just content to think each other good sorts
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  Speaker 1: without ever bothering about their inmost selves. Probably that's why
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  Speaker 1: their friendships last so well, replied Miss Clemson. They don't
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  Speaker 1: make such demands on one another, But a great friendship
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  Speaker 1: does make demands, cried Miss Findlater eagerly. It's got to
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  Speaker 1: be just everything to one. It's wonderful the way it
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  Speaker 1: seems to color all one's thoughts. Instead of being really
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  Speaker 1: centered in oneself, one's centered in the other person. That's
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  Speaker 1: what Christian love means. One's ready to die for the
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  Speaker 1: other person. Well, I don't know, said Miss Clemson. I
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  Speaker 1: once heard a sermon about that from a most splendid priest,
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  Speaker 1: and he said that that kind of love might become
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  Speaker 1: idolatry if one wasn't very careful. He said that Milton's
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  Speaker 1: remark about Eve, you know, he for God only, she
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  Speaker 1: for God in him, was not congruous with Catholic doctrine.
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  Speaker 1: One must get the proportions right, and it was out
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  Speaker 1: of proportion to see everything through the eyes of another
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  Speaker 1: fellow creature. One must put God first, of course, said
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  Speaker 1: Miss Findlater, a little formally. But if the friendship is mutual,
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  Speaker 1: that was the point. Quite unselfish on both sides. It
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  Speaker 1: must be a good thing. Love is always good when
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  Speaker 1: it's the right kind, agreed Miss Clemson. But I don't
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  Speaker 1: think it ought to be too possessive. One has to
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  Speaker 1: train one's self. She hesitated, and went on courageously. And
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  Speaker 1: in any case, my dear, I cannot help feeling that
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  Speaker 1: it is more natural, more proper in a sense, for
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  Speaker 1: a man and woman to be all in all to
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  Speaker 1: one another than for two persons of the same sex.
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  Speaker 1: An after all, it is a fruitful affection, said Miss Clemson,
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  Speaker 1: boggling a trifle at this idea, and and all that
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  Speaker 1: you know. And I am sure that when the right
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  Speaker 1: man comes along for you bother, the right man, cried
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  Speaker 1: Miss Findlater crossly, I do hate that kind of talk.
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  Speaker 1: It makes one feel dreadful, like a prize cow or something.
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  Speaker 1: Surely we have got beyond that point of view. In
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  Speaker 1: these days, Miss Clempson perceived that she had let her
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  Speaker 1: honest zeal outrun her detective discretion. She had lost the
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  Speaker 1: good will of her informant, and it was better to
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  Speaker 1: change the conversation. However, she could assure Lord Peter now
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  Speaker 1: of one thing. Whoever the woman was that missus Cropper
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  Speaker 1: had seen at Liverpool, it was not Miss Whittaker. The
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  Speaker 1: attached Miss Findlater, who had never left her friend's side,
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  Speaker 1: was sufficient guarantee of that. End of Chapter sixteen