Latest / I Do, Part 2 / LOVE STORIES: 99-Year-Old William Daniels and 96-Year-Old Bonnie Bartlett, One of Hollywood’s Most Enduring Couples

Transcript

LOVE STORIES: 99-Year-Old William Daniels and 96-Year-Old Bonnie Bartlett, One of Hollywood’s Most Enduring Couples · I Do, Part 2

• 0:04
  Speaker 1: This is Amy and TJ Love Stories.
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: William and Bonnie join us now on our love story series.
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: Thank you both for being with us. And how are
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: you two doing today?
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: I feel pretty good. We did a conventional Sunday so
• 0:28
  Speaker 3: that was tiring, but we're pretty good for our age,
• 0:31
  Speaker 3: we're pretty good.
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: And will you tell our podcast listeners how long the
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: two of you have been together?
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: Actually, we've been together more than seventy five years. It's
• 0:46
  Speaker 3: more like seventy eight years we've been together. Wow, I
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: met Bill when I was eighteen.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: Oh well, nos, can we go back? How long were
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: you dating before you got engaged? And then how long
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: were you engaged before you got married?
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: Well, we never did anything officially like that, do you
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: know what I mean? We did get married. My mother
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: insisted we got had a little wedding and so forth,
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: and in my backyard in Illinois, but it was never
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: very Bill, How did the family? How did your family
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: take it when you told them you were going to
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: marry me?
• 1:33
  Speaker 4: Badly?
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: And mine too did not want No what do you
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: want to say?
• 1:42
  Speaker 4: I hadn't done munch in the business at that time,
• 1:50
  Speaker 4: so I can't understand their concern about her hooking up
• 1:56
  Speaker 4: with me, didn't.
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: Have a penny.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: So how did you win them over?
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: How did I win Bill over?
• 2:07
  Speaker 5: No?
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: Bill, how did you win over her family?
• 2:12
  Speaker 4: My only when I started actually working, I thought, well,
• 2:19
  Speaker 4: I guess he can do this.
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: Well.
• 2:23
  Speaker 4: Then they turned alief and became more friendly, and her
• 2:30
  Speaker 4: mother across the room silently looked at me and said,
• 2:37
  Speaker 4: I love you.
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: And I thought, well, I'm in. But my brother, my
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: brother always left him. My brother was his fan. Yeah,
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: and none of his family were fans of mine. No, No,
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: they did not. They did not think I was good
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: enough for their Bill. I didn't think I was pretty enough,
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: you know. The only thing that they did like my family.
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: They liked my family, but they didn't like me. And
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: it's because his mother didn't want to lose him. I
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: think that anybody he married she would not have liked that.
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: She didn't want to lose him, and she was hoping
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: he would be her meal ticket. Definitely, definitely, Bonnie.
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: Did you ever win her over? Did you ever win
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: over his family?
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: Sometimes when there were problems, No, when there were problems,
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: they were horrible to me. There were a lot of
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: problems among the family and among marriages and stuff like
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: that the girls had problems and if I ever suggested
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: something like maybe you should see a therapist and work
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: it out, oh man, they killed me. They said, just
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: because you're crazy. We're crazy. And we had a lot
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: of bad times. Yeah, did not have bad times with
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: my family. Really, there's no question that they were, you know,
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: against him. But because he was an actor and my
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: father had been an actor, my mother didn't want Bill
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: to be an actor, I mean, didn't want me to
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: marry an actor. But it was I would say, for
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: the time, we did all right. In that time, you
• 4:29
  Speaker 3: really did have to pay attention to your parents. I'm
• 4:32
  Speaker 3: talking a long time ago, nineteen fifty one, you know,
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: and people were kids were still paying attention to their parents.
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: Now wouldn't matter, you know you, but anyway, but yeah, it.
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: Still seems like, even in today's times, if you have
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: families that are completely against your union, that is a
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: tough position for your relationship. That's a lot of pressure,
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: that's a lot of stress to know that both sides
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: aren't happy about the two of you being together. What
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: brought you guys together in the first place, What made
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: you all fall in love with one another that you
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: could resist or even deal with having families against your relationship.
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: Well, Billy, you tell this story about the play auditioning
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: for the play at Northwestern. I was eighteen and he
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: was maybe I was nineteen by that time, but they
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: were about eighteen and he had been in the army
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: for two years. So we were put A lot of
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: the freshman actors were put in groups, and then they
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: from within those groups they cast plays. So we happened
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: to be put in the same group. So what happened?
• 5:51
  Speaker 4: Bill, I've been on Broadway at the time, so I
• 5:57
  Speaker 4: was kind of pretty much killed with myself. And I
• 6:06
  Speaker 4: sat there and listened as the teacher pointed to each
• 6:11
  Speaker 4: person to say something, and I heard, oh, a bunch
• 6:18
  Speaker 4: of them say something, and I thought they were casting
• 6:22
  Speaker 4: into the play, you see, And I thought, oh, no,
• 6:25
  Speaker 4: this is going to be a bomb. I mean these
• 6:29
  Speaker 4: people until I heard a voice in the back of
• 6:34
  Speaker 4: the room and I turned around and there was this
• 6:39
  Speaker 4: blonde with a very good voice. So I waited for
• 6:47
  Speaker 4: her when we were dismissed, and I waited for her
• 6:53
  Speaker 4: at the door, and she came by me and I said,
• 6:58
  Speaker 4: I said, I'll out a cup of coffee.
• 7:02
  Speaker 3: She said, you're too short.
• 7:07
  Speaker 4: I said, yeah, that's right, how about a cup of coffee?
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: All right?
• 7:13
  Speaker 4: It turns out, I find out much later she'd been
• 7:18
  Speaker 4: following me at a distance on the campus at Northwestern
• 7:24
  Speaker 4: because she had heard I've been in New York on.
• 7:28
  Speaker 3: Broad and I loved his leather jacket jacket. But what
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: I really meant you're too short? I said, I mean,
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: you know, I admired him, and i'd heard this kind
• 7:40
  Speaker 3: of phony voice, and I thought, what's that you know
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: in some of the rooms. But the thing is that
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: I was a big girl and I was used to big,
• 7:49
  Speaker 3: tall guys. And what I meant was I didn't mean
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: really that he was too short. I was really saying,
• 7:56
  Speaker 3: I'm not right for you. But it came out wrong.
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: It came maybe you were playing hard to get or something,
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: or wanting to make sure I wasn't.
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: Playing a game. It's just, oh, no, you're too short.
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: You know, I'm too big for you. I mean, you know.
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: But anyway, that was from that moment on, we were
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: not separate. We did everything together. He he called me,
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: and he didn't have any money, but I had an allowance,
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: so I would pay for the movies. I would pay
• 8:33
  Speaker 3: for the food. I paid for everything, and and we
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: just I was a nobody ever said anything. We were
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: just together. It was like, okay, now here we are,
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: we're together. That's it. And from then on it was
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: Bonnie and Bill, or Bill and Bonnie or whatever. But
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: you know how you would do which I loved Bill.
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: Never you know, was wrote love letters or anything like that.
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: But he he used to sing to me. We'd be
• 9:08
  Speaker 3: in a restaurant having a hamburger or whatever, and he
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: sing He sing all the Frank Sinatra songs.
• 9:15
  Speaker 4: I didn't have any money she was paying for so
• 9:18
  Speaker 4: he was singing for.
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: And he sang those songs so well. He loved Frank,
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: so he did that. We both loved Frank Sinatra. He
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: was really part of our life, you know. And later
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: we get to know his daughter very well. But he
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: for some reason, I would say that that Sinatra was
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: part of everybody's love life.
• 9:48
  Speaker 4: You know what I mean.
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: It was just he When he sang to you, it
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: was like he was singing to you, and it was
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: all part of our lives at that time.
• 9:56
  Speaker 4: He was.
• 9:57
  Speaker 3: He was wonderful.
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: I love the memories you have of Bill singing to you.
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: That's so sweet. I was wondering who said I love
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: you first? Do you all remember that? Members?
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: Neither one of us we knew. It was all unspoken.
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: It was like we never had to say anything. When
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: we got married. We don't remember we wanted to do it.
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: We just remember that we you know, in those days,
• 10:26
  Speaker 3: you couldn't sleep together before you got married. So we
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: had no place to go, and so we decided we'd
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: get married and that was it. It was really for
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: the sex, but we were totally bound together. Getting married
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: was so that we could have a place to have sex.
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: Do you really not remember who said I love you first?
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: And when you started saying it to each other.
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: We don't talk like that.
• 11:09
  Speaker 4: We are not, you know.
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: I mean occasionally Bill will I'm terrible, I'm the worst,
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: but occasionally he will write something something nice, you know,
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: on a card or something. But I don't know, I
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: don't know. We just have always from the time we met,
• 11:30
  Speaker 3: we have belonged together. There was no We went through
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: a lot of hard times, don't get me wrong, but
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: it was we were just together and we were meant
• 11:44
  Speaker 3: to be or something. You know. It was. I guess
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: you can't call it romantic, but you can call it
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: something else. I don't know.
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: What do you admirable?
• 11:57
  Speaker 5: Beautiful, lack of a least, that's funny.
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: I'm curious. You've been together for over seventy years. Do
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: you all still fight? Did you ever fight a lot?
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: I'm curious about what that daily interaction has evolved into
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: over the years.
• 12:22
  Speaker 3: We have thought, but not the way people fight. I mean,
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: we're certainly not Bickerson's at all at all, none of that,
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: because that's so annoying. But I do remember a terrible
• 12:39
  Speaker 3: time when he was really mean to me and I
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: was playing. I had a big part on the soap opera,
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: so I was making a lot of money at that time,
• 12:49
  Speaker 3: and I think it was getting to him finally, and
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: I remember we were going out. It was it was
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: an anniversary, yes, And I don't remember what the argument was.
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: We went to a very nice restaurant, and I think
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: it's because because he was getting to him at that point,
• 13:11
  Speaker 3: he was not working at all and I was making
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: a lot of money and he did something to me.
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: He got so angry that at me, and I don't
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: know what I did that made him meant, but I
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: remember he walked out and we were supposed to go
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: to a play, and I went to a play, went
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: to the play and sat there and cried the whole
• 13:34
  Speaker 3: had no idea what the play was about, and then
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: it was over. I think he just couldn't stand it
• 13:43
  Speaker 3: anymore that he wasn't working making a living, you know,
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: because that Bill's whole thing in life, and I guess
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: it's probably every man's is he wants to be the breadwinner,
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: he wants to take care of everybody, he wants to
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: make the money, and all of that he didn't mind
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: when he was young, but when he was married and
• 14:06
  Speaker 3: I was, and then when I left the soap opera.
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: I had the lead on the soap opera for three
• 14:13
  Speaker 3: and a half years, and when I left it, I
• 14:16
  Speaker 3: was so nervous because I said, Who's where's the money
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: going to be? But at that point Bill was doing
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: Edward Alby's first play, The Zoos Story, and it became
• 14:33
  Speaker 3: absolutely a humendous hit, and everything else that had that
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: Edward I'll Be wrote after that, and even though Bill
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: wasn't making money because it was off Broadway, he made
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: a huge imprint on the New York State. And from
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: that time on he said, don't worry, I'm going to
• 14:58
  Speaker 3: do it. I'll make the money, and he did. He
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: just did. And from that time and it went on
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: and on and on and Broadway, one play after another,
• 15:08
  Speaker 3: finally with the seventeen seventy six and from then on
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: out here. Although I didn't want to come out here,
• 15:18
  Speaker 3: that was a big moment in our life because I
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: didn't want to come out here, but I finally did,
• 15:25
  Speaker 3: and he got me working. Well, I've skipped two children
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: because that was my favorite time. But anyway, he I
• 15:37
  Speaker 3: don't know. Bill is kind of remarkable and when he's
• 15:43
  Speaker 3: been able to make a great deal of money and
• 15:45
  Speaker 3: he's always wanted to make a living, never wanted to
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: be a star. I don't think either one of us.
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: We just want to work, make money. And it's been
• 15:58
  Speaker 3: roughs at times. That was a rough time. I remember
• 16:01
  Speaker 3: that moment in that restaurant going to that play, and
• 16:07
  Speaker 3: I don't remember why he was angry with me. I
• 16:09
  Speaker 3: don't think I had done anything, but he just he
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: just walked out. You don't even remember it. He has
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: no memory of it at all.
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: Is there a point at which you can actually look
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: back at some of those tough times, in those tough
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: years with the perspective you have now and you can
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: laugh about it. It seems so serious and it's so
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: important in the moment, But with perspective, does it seem
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: almost like silly?
• 16:42
  Speaker 5: In moments?
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: What we fight over, what we're fighting for?
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: No, don't go good, gole ahead.
• 16:49
  Speaker 4: That's a zoo story. Kind of put me on the
• 16:52
  Speaker 4: map in New York because it's won a lot of
• 16:55
  Speaker 4: attention and everybody came to say awards and I am.
• 17:06
  Speaker 4: I was very happy about us. That's all I can say.
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: You mentioned rough times, but do you all remember a
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: time where you got close to the relationship actually ending?
• 17:23
  Speaker 3: As I said, that was the worst time. When he
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: finished seventeen seventy six and he said, I don't want
• 17:31
  Speaker 3: to do theater. He was offered two big plays Chicago
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: and another play and with wonderful actresses, and he said, no,
• 17:42
  Speaker 3: I want to go to California. I don't want to
• 17:45
  Speaker 3: go to California. And he said, yes, I want to
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: go and live in California like a normal person. Well,
• 17:53
  Speaker 3: it was the best thing he had ever decided, but
• 17:55
  Speaker 3: I didn't think so until later. We had two children
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: and he wanted to raise them in California, and that
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: was another thing we had. We had lost a child.
• 18:09
  Speaker 3: We didn't get pregnant and for a long time, and
• 18:13
  Speaker 3: then Barna got pregnant and then the baby didn't survive
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: the birth. And we adopted two wonderful, wonderful boys, and
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: they have been a joy for me. I think if
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: I think the boys really cemented our marriage, I really do,
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: because we both just subtort them and we both loved
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: having them. And he wanted to come to California because
• 18:43
  Speaker 3: he wanted to be a dad in California. He wanted
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: the boys. He wanted to work in television and movies
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: and not have to go to the theater every night.
• 18:51
  Speaker 3: He just didn't want to do it anymore, and I
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: was resisting. I was so proud of him, and I thought,
• 18:59
  Speaker 3: how can you throw it away? Throw away to the
• 19:02
  Speaker 3: theater after you work so hard.
• 19:06
  Speaker 4: People don't realize how eight or week is difficult. Yeah,
• 19:13
  Speaker 4: but it is. And I was in it for a
• 19:16
  Speaker 4: long time.
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: So two years plus.
• 19:19
  Speaker 4: Yeah, two years plus.
• 19:21
  Speaker 3: You know how hard that is to do a show
• 19:23
  Speaker 3: eight times a week, the same show and keep it
• 19:26
  Speaker 3: fresh and good. And he did. He's amazing on the stage.
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: He can do it, keep it fresh, for two years.
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: I couldn't do that.
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: I have marveled at when you go see one show
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: on Broadway and think these actors are giving it there
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: all each night, every night, doing the same thing. I'm
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: sure you mix it up a little bit, but yes,
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: that's not lost at least on us going to see
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: Broadway as often as we do. My hat is off.
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: Our hats are off to anyone who can do that
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: so well each and every night and make each audience
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: feel special because they're seeing it for the first time,
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: even if you're reliving it for the umpteenth time. But
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: you make a good point, Bonnie. You talk about how
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: you didn't want to move to California, and so much
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: of relationships as we're asking folks who have made it
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: through the tough times, how much is compromise and sacrifice
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: a part of making a relationship not just last but succeed.
• 20:29
  Speaker 3: Oh a lot. I mean, what you have you have
• 20:34
  Speaker 3: in seventy five years, you can imagine. I mean you
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: have a lot to it's really calm now, of course
• 20:42
  Speaker 3: when you're very old, but you have a lot to
• 20:45
  Speaker 3: go through and you got to get through it, and
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: sometimes things are what you want it to be, But
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: you know what you can always say, But there is
• 20:55
  Speaker 3: a more important There's a more important here that is
• 21:01
  Speaker 3: more important than anything we ever do, and that's the
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: longevity of it, being the parents of our children that
• 21:12
  Speaker 3: I think is so important. I think people give up
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: too soon. I think people have to be more forgiving
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: with each other and and they'll find themselves if they're
• 21:25
  Speaker 3: meant to, they will find themselves. If it can work,
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: it will. If somebody drinks too much or takes dope
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: or something non then that's impossible. But you know, those
• 21:38
  Speaker 3: things are impossible. But you can work things out most
• 21:45
  Speaker 3: of the time, unless it's those very serious things. I
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: call those the serious things. Yes, you can work things out.
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: Another question we've asked the couples the idea of going
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: to bed angry. Did you all try to avoid going
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: to bed angry throughout your marriage?
• 22:08
  Speaker 4: I don't remember doing anything.
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: He has no memory. No, But there have been times
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: when we have gone to bed silently, ah, you know,
• 22:23
  Speaker 3: silently but not fighting, but just silently. When there have
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: been times that were tough, we were still there and
• 22:36
  Speaker 3: you get up the next morning and start all over,
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: and it's okay. But no, I never I don't think
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: I recently, oh, yes, recently, we were going to be
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: I was mad at him for some reason. I can't
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: remember what it was, even because I'm rarely mad at him,
• 22:58
  Speaker 3: but I can get annoyed as I and I said,
• 23:00
  Speaker 3: oh c and he said, I have never heard you
• 23:06
  Speaker 3: say that before, and it is not becoming. And that
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: was just like a month ago before the first time
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: I ever said.
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: What did you say? In response to that?
• 23:22
  Speaker 3: I didn't know why I said it. I mean, I
• 23:24
  Speaker 3: was like, I don't talk like that. I mean, not
• 23:27
  Speaker 3: to him, my wife. You don't talk like that to Bill,
• 23:31
  Speaker 3: but I have. I have occasionally been angry doing something,
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: oh you know, that sort of thing, but not at somebody.
• 23:41
  Speaker 3: I don't do that. And I thought, wow, you know
• 23:44
  Speaker 3: you changed over the years. That's one of the biggest
• 23:48
  Speaker 3: things that happens in a relationship is that people change.
• 23:52
  Speaker 3: If they change for the better, it's good. And then
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: health changes a little bit, and you change a little
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: and you change, and if the are bad, then it
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: breaks it up.
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: Wait, money, seventy five years together and that was the
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: first time you said, f you, what happened?
• 24:14
  Speaker 3: It was stupid. It was a little thing. I was annoying.
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: He was didn't hear what I said or something, and
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: it was just I just got annoying. That's what I
• 24:25
  Speaker 3: Oh you, Bonnie.
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: Do you all at this point do you all go
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: on dates? Do you all have date night? Do you
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: all prioritize your relationship or do you just live your lives.
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: I'm curious that this stage in your relationship do you
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: focus on creating special moments together?
• 24:48
  Speaker 4: Well?
• 24:48
  Speaker 3: I do remember one thing. Do you remember when you
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: were doing seventeen seventy six and we had two kids,
• 24:55
  Speaker 3: and we could hardly see each other because he he
• 25:00
  Speaker 3: worked all the time and and you know, spend a
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: little time with the kids, but not a lot. So
• 25:07
  Speaker 3: I would book the what is the big hotel in
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: New York, the Park, the big hotel, Laza. I would
• 25:18
  Speaker 3: book a room at the Plaza for the weekend, and
• 25:22
  Speaker 3: I would go. He would on Saturday, he would go
• 25:25
  Speaker 3: off to the theater to do his two performances, and
• 25:30
  Speaker 3: so he would go and do the afternoon. Might I
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: might go book the show, I might go see the show,
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: watch the show or not. I might go shopping down
• 25:40
  Speaker 3: Fifth Avenue, which was a treat, and I might do
• 25:44
  Speaker 3: there might be a movie there, that little foreign movie
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: place while he was performing, and then when he wasn't performing,
• 25:53
  Speaker 3: he'd come over to the hotel and we go to bed.
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: I mean you know, I mean he would just come
• 25:59
  Speaker 3: over and we spent the day in bed, or you know,
• 26:03
  Speaker 3: the sunday and you are going to our favorite place
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: or something. You know, Yeah, completely away from the kids
• 26:11
  Speaker 3: and everything. It was a kind of a sex date.
• 26:16
  Speaker 5: Okay, sex Bill.
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: How important has sex been in you all's relationship? You've
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: brought it up a few times, none of you. She's
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: been talking about it.
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: It was the reason that we got married, not the
• 26:40
  Speaker 3: reason that we've stayed married.
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: You go, I love that. What what?
• 26:45
  Speaker 3: How?
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: How would you describe? What is the reason why divorce
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: rates are what they are? What would you say is
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: the reason why the two of you stayed together and
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: got through those tough times? What is it about your
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: relationship that made it work?
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: And last? Even though we never said it, we love
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: each other and we want to help each other. We
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: want to be partnered and both of us, so that's it.
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: Even though we don't you don't speak poetry or anything,
• 27:17
  Speaker 3: we we love Shakespeare. Those poems are wonderful.
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: What did you? I know you said you fought and
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: you thought, did you? What did you learn along the
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: way about yourself? I know a lot of times when
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: you fight and you have issues and problems, you grow
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: and people talk about how they evolve, and you've even
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: said you've changed throughout your relationship, so you end up
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: being different people throughout your relationship. Were there lessons that
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: you learned after getting through tough times some of the
• 27:52
  Speaker 2: fights you had together? What did you learn about yourself
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: and about each other?
• 27:57
  Speaker 3: What have we learned? I guess I just I think
• 28:03
  Speaker 3: we both feel successful. We both feel successful, and we
• 28:09
  Speaker 3: both have because of the boys. We have learned to
• 28:13
  Speaker 3: really love. That's when you really love your children. It's
• 28:20
  Speaker 3: nothing like it. And we both share the same thing
• 28:25
  Speaker 3: with them. So we've been very lucky.
• 28:29
  Speaker 4: Our boys are really tremendous people, they really are, both
• 28:36
  Speaker 4: of them. Ones in New York. We don't see enough
• 28:39
  Speaker 4: of them, but the one here is a tremendous help
• 28:45
  Speaker 4: for us.
• 28:47
  Speaker 3: He is very.
• 28:50
  Speaker 4: Aware and giving and sharing his time with us. And
• 29:01
  Speaker 4: I think it's very unusual.
• 29:03
  Speaker 3: Yes, I think it's very unusual. I never was that
• 29:07
  Speaker 3: one with my parents.
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: What have your I'm curious have you imparted any relationship
• 29:24
  Speaker 2: wisdom to your sons. Have they looked at you and said, wow,
• 29:28
  Speaker 2: I want to have a relationship like mom and dad.
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: What advice have you given them or have they told
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: you they've learned from watching the two of you and
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: your relationship together.
• 29:41
  Speaker 3: We wouldn't know what they've learned because they one of
• 29:45
  Speaker 3: the boys that we adopted was Jewish, or you know,
• 29:48
  Speaker 3: it is Jewish, and he's gone in a slightly different way,
• 29:55
  Speaker 3: not that he's not a really religious guy or anything,
• 29:58
  Speaker 3: but he's Jewish. So they don't celebrate Christmas, you know,
• 30:03
  Speaker 3: they have honqu and things like that. And our other son,
• 30:09
  Speaker 3: who is so marvelous here, has had a bad not
• 30:12
  Speaker 3: a bad marriage, but a marriage that didn't didn't go on,
• 30:18
  Speaker 3: you know, And then he married later another wonderful lady
• 30:23
  Speaker 3: and he seems to be really happy now. So that
• 30:26
  Speaker 3: makes us very happy. Those things matter in your life
• 30:31
  Speaker 3: so much, so much. And we have four grandchildren and
• 30:39
  Speaker 3: they're all terrific. They're all very different, and they're all terrific,
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: and they join us occasionally and do stuff with us.
• 30:48
  Speaker 3: And you know, right now they're struggling and the economy
• 30:56
  Speaker 3: so that's hard for them, but they're okay, they're fine.
• 31:00
  Speaker 3: They're fine, and.
• 31:04
  Speaker 5: We like that.
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: You said earlier that you feel successful. Yeah, and you
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: spoke earlier a lot about career. But now I see
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: you both light up when you talk about family. So
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: when you said successful, how much of that were you
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: talking about family and personal versus career?
• 31:26
  Speaker 3: All of the things, all the things, really, really, all
• 31:30
  Speaker 3: the things, everything we do. We've been very lucky and
• 31:36
  Speaker 3: it has helped. For instance, when we came out to
• 31:40
  Speaker 3: California and I had been taking care of kids and
• 31:44
  Speaker 3: I loved it. I didn't want to leave New York.
• 31:46
  Speaker 3: I want to stay there and have them go to
• 31:48
  Speaker 3: the schools and do all that. I had sort of
• 31:51
  Speaker 3: stopped acting because I went on the road a couple
• 31:54
  Speaker 3: of times. I couldn't stand it. I could not stand it.
• 31:59
  Speaker 3: Had somebody given me this lead role in a movie
• 32:03
  Speaker 3: and I've had to go away for three months or
• 32:06
  Speaker 3: something like that, I suppose I would have done it,
• 32:09
  Speaker 3: and I would have been miserable.
• 32:11
  Speaker 4: It would have.
• 32:12
  Speaker 3: Been such a mistake because you got to be there
• 32:16
  Speaker 3: with the kids. You've got to be there with the
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: little ones, you know, as they grow up and it's
• 32:21
  Speaker 3: such a joy, and it's such a feeling of doing
• 32:25
  Speaker 3: something important. As much as I love acting as much
• 32:30
  Speaker 3: and I dearly love it, it's not important, not like
• 32:36
  Speaker 3: a relationship.
• 32:37
  Speaker 4: It isn't.
• 32:38
  Speaker 2: That's very cool to hear because I think that's something
• 32:41
  Speaker 2: that a lot of people don't recognize until it's too late.
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: You recognized it in the moment, and that's beautiful when
• 32:48
  Speaker 2: it comes to you. Bonnie and Bill, would you say
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: that your friends that your best friends? How much has
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: friendship played a role in your romance.
• 33:00
  Speaker 3: When we were younger, yes, we had a lot of
• 33:02
  Speaker 3: wonderful friends, but when we became more of a family,
• 33:08
  Speaker 3: it changed. But we have had We had wonderful friends
• 33:12
  Speaker 3: in New York. We had like a balanchine dancer, a
• 33:17
  Speaker 3: musician in the opera, or what do you call it,
• 33:23
  Speaker 3: a news guy, you know, travelers. We had wonderful friends
• 33:29
  Speaker 3: there in New York who are still our friends.
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: And have you all been able to have a friendship
• 33:35
  Speaker 2: with one another? Do you consider each other? Bonnie? Do
• 33:38
  Speaker 2: you consider Bill your best friend? And vice versa.
• 33:44
  Speaker 3: He's the person's there if you need him. You know,
• 33:48
  Speaker 3: he always came to help me acting. He would come
• 33:52
  Speaker 3: and help me if I was in trouble, and sometimes
• 33:54
  Speaker 3: help him. We're each other's best critic. I will say
• 33:58
  Speaker 3: that we don't lie. You know, we don't lie, and
• 34:05
  Speaker 3: and that's been good because then you can trust somebody
• 34:07
  Speaker 3: if they don't lie. If somebody lies to you, then
• 34:09
  Speaker 3: you can't trust them. But if you know it's it's
• 34:13
  Speaker 3: it's better to say no, you just weren't there. You
• 34:17
  Speaker 3: just weren't. It was like you didn't want to be
• 34:21
  Speaker 3: on the stage that helps you so much.
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: Exactly what you all would critique each other's work, Oh yes,
• 34:30
  Speaker 2: oh yes all the time.
• 34:32
  Speaker 3: Yes, or somebody a director can sometimes say something that's
• 34:36
  Speaker 3: very harmful, not hurtful, but harmful to your work. And
• 34:43
  Speaker 3: when that would happen, the other person was always there
• 34:46
  Speaker 3: to say what was really going on?
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: No?
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: And we we did a We put that scene together
• 34:52
  Speaker 3: in a Thousand Clowns in our apartment, with the scene
• 34:56
  Speaker 3: where Sandy hid in the clouse. No, you hit in
• 35:00
  Speaker 3: the closet or was it Sandy who was in the closet.
• 35:03
  Speaker 3: I can't remember, but it was a funny, funny scene
• 35:06
  Speaker 3: and we kind of worked on that. So we would
• 35:09
  Speaker 3: work on things if we had to when we did
• 35:14
  Speaker 3: say't elsewhere, we didn't ever rehearse. We didn't have to.
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: Who was the tougher critic him?
• 35:25
  Speaker 3: I'm much Yeah. No, he's very tough. And he doesn't
• 35:30
  Speaker 3: like to go to the theater. He doesn't like to
• 35:32
  Speaker 3: even go to a movie anymore. He used to go
• 35:35
  Speaker 3: to the movies and love him. But the theater, he said, Oh,
• 35:37
  Speaker 3: I sit there, and what is it when you go
• 35:39
  Speaker 3: to the theater that you don't like?
• 35:42
  Speaker 4: Well, I look at it a different way than the
• 35:46
  Speaker 4: audience would. I look at it as somebody who has
• 35:51
  Speaker 4: been up there and knows what they're going through. So
• 35:57
  Speaker 4: it's a kind of a critical thing, and it takes
• 36:03
  Speaker 4: away the fact that I'm not enjoying it. I let's see,
• 36:08
  Speaker 4: I'm being critical or upset that they're doing something that
• 36:15
  Speaker 4: they probably shouldn't do.
• 36:18
  Speaker 3: When Bill gets a script, he looks at it for
• 36:22
  Speaker 3: all the wrong things. He says, that's no good, that's
• 36:25
  Speaker 3: no good, there's no three acts. Most actors we look
• 36:31
  Speaker 3: at it from the point of that's a nice part.
• 36:34
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, ok, yeah, I can do that, and we
• 36:37
  Speaker 3: don't judge the whole thing as much. Most of us,
• 36:42
  Speaker 3: not all the smart ones, are like Bill, and it
• 36:47
  Speaker 3: makes such a difference because then you're not disappointed. I mean,
• 36:50
  Speaker 3: he knows going in what the problems are, and most
• 36:55
  Speaker 3: of us don't because we're so involved in our part.
• 37:00
  Speaker 3: You know, I'm doing the part and everything.
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's very that's very sweet to hear your admiration
• 37:08
  Speaker 2: of his intellect and his ability to be critical for
• 37:12
  Speaker 2: all the right reasons. That's actually really beautiful. I'm curious. Obviously,
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: you guys were both so busy with your careers and
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: with your sons. Now that all of that has gone
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: away and it's just the two of you. I know
• 37:25
  Speaker 2: your other son is still there often, but how do
• 37:28
  Speaker 2: you two, how is your relationship today now when it's
• 37:32
  Speaker 2: just the two of you, the noise is gone, that
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: the showbiz isn't necessarily center stage now it's the two
• 37:39
  Speaker 2: of you. How would you describe your life together now
• 37:43
  Speaker 2: after all these years?
• 37:45
  Speaker 3: Very peaceful. He needs me. I have to be here
• 37:52
  Speaker 3: all the time. He doesn't like me to go away.
• 37:56
  Speaker 3: He doesn't. It's like, you know, so I'm kind of
• 38:01
  Speaker 3: housebound sometimes more than I want to be, but I
• 38:03
  Speaker 3: get out, but he likes me to be you know,
• 38:07
  Speaker 3: or close, doesn't like me to go away for a day. No,
• 38:10
  Speaker 3: he doesn't, and that's fine because I'm fine with him.
• 38:15
  Speaker 3: I was going to say something, and oh, I know
• 38:18
  Speaker 3: what I was going to say. I'm going to put
• 38:20
  Speaker 3: in a plug. We have a online store and it's
• 38:27
  Speaker 3: called Bill and Bonnie Daniels dot com. And here's a
• 38:32
  Speaker 3: card from it, and my son, the son in New York,
• 38:38
  Speaker 3: he kind of runs it, and he said he's going
• 38:42
  Speaker 3: to put up a sale February, you know, like Valentine's
• 38:47
  Speaker 3: Day kind of thing, sale of all the pictures that
• 38:51
  Speaker 3: are the two of us together from the past and
• 38:54
  Speaker 3: I'm now, and people can get him on a sale,
• 38:56
  Speaker 3: a big sale. So I promised him. I plug that.
• 39:01
  Speaker 5: That is amazing.
• 39:03
  Speaker 3: I love that.
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: That is so sweet. So what is an What is
• 39:07
  Speaker 2: a day like for the two of you at home?
• 39:09
  Speaker 2: You say you're with Bill most days all what's the
• 39:13
  Speaker 2: day like?
• 39:13
  Speaker 3: I usually get up first. I'm up earlier, and I
• 39:18
  Speaker 3: puts around and do a few things that I have
• 39:20
  Speaker 3: to do. Bill gets up a little later. He makes
• 39:23
  Speaker 3: his own breakfast. I never learned to make coffee because
• 39:25
  Speaker 3: I don't drink coffee. So he gets up, he makes
• 39:28
  Speaker 3: his own breakfast. He makes well. He makes coffee, of course,
• 39:34
  Speaker 3: he loves grapefruit in the morning, and he will have
• 39:39
  Speaker 3: English muffins. Or if we go out to Arts Delhi,
• 39:42
  Speaker 3: he loves to go out for breakfast. That's his big thing,
• 39:45
  Speaker 3: to go out for breakfast. And there he'll have a
• 39:49
  Speaker 3: big breakfast. And then he reaches the New York Times.
• 39:55
  Speaker 3: Time it comes to the door, he picks up the paper.
• 39:58
  Speaker 3: He sits in the chair in the living room and
• 39:59
  Speaker 3: he reads the New York Times for a couple of hours.
• 40:03
  Speaker 3: Then the best paper in the world. And then we'll, uh,
• 40:11
  Speaker 3: we don't exactly have lunch. We don't really have lunch,
• 40:14
  Speaker 3: but you know, we'll eat a little bit. But he
• 40:17
  Speaker 3: about three o'clock, he likes to Oh, we work out.
• 40:21
  Speaker 3: We have a wonderful lady who works us out twice
• 40:24
  Speaker 3: a week. And they're very you know, strenuous. It's good,
• 40:29
  Speaker 3: it's very good for us. Hep us he's ninety, gonna
• 40:32
  Speaker 3: be ninety nine, and he's strongly taking me. His heart
• 40:35
  Speaker 3: is so strong. It's wonderful. He's so healthy. And and
• 40:41
  Speaker 3: then he will start he'll watch he likes to watch MSNBC.
• 40:47
  Speaker 3: He still will watch Seinfeld loves Seinfeld. He watches those.
• 40:57
  Speaker 3: And I like movies, so I'll go and computer and
• 41:00
  Speaker 3: watch Netflix movie because they take me out of it.
• 41:04
  Speaker 3: You know, I'm fine with that. Then we had an
• 41:07
  Speaker 3: early dinner. We have a woman who brings us food.
• 41:11
  Speaker 3: Bill used to be a great cook. He was really
• 41:14
  Speaker 3: a good cook. Our son here is even better than
• 41:18
  Speaker 3: do and he but that's how he started. And he's
• 41:23
  Speaker 3: wonderful and we but but Bill doesn't cook anymore. But
• 41:27
  Speaker 3: we have a lady who brings in food, and I
• 41:29
  Speaker 3: can put it together, do you know what I mean?
• 41:31
  Speaker 3: But I don't And I never did cook a lot.
• 41:34
  Speaker 3: I cooked for the kids when I was little, when
• 41:36
  Speaker 3: they were little, I did And I don't know. And
• 41:41
  Speaker 3: then we go to bed about eight thirty nine o'clock.
• 41:47
  Speaker 3: Sat a lot easy enough. We do conventions. We still
• 41:53
  Speaker 3: like to make money. And so if we can go
• 41:56
  Speaker 3: to a convention and make a a bunch of money
• 41:59
  Speaker 3: and see all the peace people and make them happy,
• 42:01
  Speaker 3: of course, but we'd like to make the money. We
• 42:04
  Speaker 3: do that.
• 42:06
  Speaker 2: Some things never change. It's always good to make a
• 42:07
  Speaker 2: little money.
• 42:08
  Speaker 3: I hear you, especially in this time. Never know what's
• 42:14
  Speaker 3: going to happen.
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: Okay, last thing, I'm sure you get this question all
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: the time, but we'll ask it here. When people come
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: up and they hear you've been married this long, they
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: want to know what's the secret? How do you make
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: it last? So what do you tell them?
• 42:33
  Speaker 3: Lack of imagination?
• 42:36
  Speaker 5: That's he that's good.
• 42:41
  Speaker 3: I guess it's it's kind of I guess we don't
• 42:47
  Speaker 3: know it, but it's probably because we want to be together.
• 42:53
  Speaker 3: We always want to be together. I guess you call
• 42:55
  Speaker 3: that love.
• 42:57
  Speaker 2: Yes, I guess you call that love, love and like
• 43:01
  Speaker 2: and all of the love. But yeah, that's like, if
• 43:03
  Speaker 2: you have a desire, you can make it up, make
• 43:06
  Speaker 2: it work.
• 43:06
  Speaker 3: We feel safe with each other, you know, we feel
• 43:09
  Speaker 3: very safe with each other, and we're very happy to
• 43:13
  Speaker 3: be together all day every day.
• 43:16
  Speaker 2: I love that. And what a gift. What a gift
• 43:19
  Speaker 2: to your sons, and what a gift to us for
• 43:22
  Speaker 2: sharing your love story because it is beautiful and and
• 43:27
  Speaker 2: it's something to be proud of. Talk about success marriage
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: where you both can sit next to each other with
• 43:34
  Speaker 2: smiles on your face and talk about the good times
• 43:37
  Speaker 2: and the bad times. And Bill there is ninety nine
• 43:40
  Speaker 2: years old, and y'all are still sitting next to each
• 43:42
  Speaker 2: other with smiles. That is success. So congratulations. We aspire
• 43:49
  Speaker 2: more like the two of you in every way. Thank
• 43:52
  Speaker 2: you so I love Bill and Bonnie. We belong together.
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much for being here and being with
• 43:58
  Speaker 2: us on this podcast. We have learned so much from
• 44:00
  Speaker 2: you and I just appreciate you sharing your love story
• 44:03
  Speaker 2: with us.
• 44:04
  Speaker 3: Thank you. You've been very sweet.
• 44:07
  Speaker 5: Say your bell
• 44:10
  Speaker 3: Bye guys, Bye bye