Latest / Why You Got Sick: How Emotion Drives Chronic Illness & Healing in Women / Until You Learn This, Emotions Will Keep Controlling You (& Fueling Chronic Illness Illness)

Transcript

Until You Learn This, Emotions Will Keep Controlling You (& Fueling Chronic Illness Illness) · Why You Got Sick: How Emotion Drives Chronic Illness & Healing in Women

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[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to Heal Yourself with the Law of Attraction.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm your host Tecla, and I'm ready to guide you in a transformative journey of holistic health and self-discovery using the power of the law of attraction.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We've all heard tales of manifesting fortunes and jet-set adventures.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But this, this is a different journey.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Here we focus on achieving abundant health, mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual.
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[SPEAKER_00]: With the law of attraction, I've healed chronic pain, overcome a diagnosed mental illness, and reverse PCOS.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We're all about realigning our energies to manifest our full potential.
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[SPEAKER_00]: As we focus inward, raising your vibration, you'll be astounded by the ease at which the universe responds.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Once you focus on yourself, the rest just falls into place.
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[SPEAKER_00]: My goal for each weekly episode is to provide you with practical, easy to apply steps that you can weave directly into your daily routine.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Together, we'll navigate the path to achieving your own health and wellness goals.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So let's dive right in.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Hello my wellness witches.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm your host Tecla.
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[SPEAKER_00]: This is Heal Yourself with the Law of Attraction.
1:09
[SPEAKER_00]: And today, I'm excited to report that I've started practicing
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[SPEAKER_00]: If you've never heard of it, it's a traditional Chinese practice that combines gentle movement with breath and awareness.
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[SPEAKER_00]: People call it meditation in motion, and honestly that's exactly what it feels like.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It kind of looks like Tai Chi, but I've learned that they're not the same at all.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Tai Chi comes from martial arts, and usually involves these long-flowing sequences, while Chi Gong is a bit simpler.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's often just a few movements repeated slowly and intentionally.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I've started with three short exercises a day, which are mostly our movements using my body weight.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Even when brand new to it, I'm loving how focused it is on energy, like literally moving your cheek, your life force through your body.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's gentle, but I can feel the shift already, and for me it's such a good reminder that healing doesn't always need to be intense or complicated.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes it's about slowing down and connecting with yourself in a really simple way.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'll keep you posted as I go, but I had to share that, especially because today's episode is all about emotions and energy.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And Qi Gong is already helping me notice how much I still hold in my body without even realizing.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So on that note, let's get into today's topic, which is about the secret language of your emotions, and how to start to understand what they're actually trying to tell you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Most people don't actually feel their emotions.
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[SPEAKER_00]: They analyze them and try to solve them intellectually.
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[SPEAKER_00]: They try to think their way through something that was never meant to be addressed with logic.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And when that doesn't work, they get scared.
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[SPEAKER_00]: They shut down.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And eventually they stop trying to feel anything at all.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But emotions aren't here to punish you or scare you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: They're just here to deliver a message.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And once you receive that message, once you get what your body's trying to tell you, the emotion no longer needs to surface.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It stops getting triggered because your mind no longer sees it as unresolved.
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[SPEAKER_00]: The issue is, when you get scared by your emotions, you stop feeling them.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You suppress them, bury them, and they become trapped.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But when that message doesn't get received emotionally, your body will find another way to get it to you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's when it starts to show up physically through symptoms, pain, and eventually chronic illness.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I saw a great quote the other day that ties to this perfectly.
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[SPEAKER_00]: What we repress does not vanish, it waits.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's right, which is, it waits, until you have the courage and bravery to face those messages.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I get it, that can be daunting, because when you've learned to fear your emotions or avoid them or numb them, the idea of going back and feeling them on purpose, yeah, that's not exactly appealing.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But here's the thing, you don't have to relive the whole story.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You just have to understand the message.
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[SPEAKER_00]: because every emotion you feel is your body just trying to communicate something.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And when you know what that emotion is trying to say, it loses its grip.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You're not stuck in it, you're just listening to it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So let's walk through some of the most common emotions I see come up when I'm working with my clients healing chronic illness and what they're really trying to tell you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Let's start with anger because this one is so taboo for so many women.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We're not supposed to feel it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We're taught it's not attractive.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's not graceful.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's not feminine.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But if you've been through something unfair, if you've been dismissed, overlooked, hurt, or betrayed, of course anger is going to come up.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Anger is what rises when you've been wronged, or a boundary has been crossed.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's literally your body saying, that wasn't okay and it still isn't.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But instead of being allowed to feel it, most women are taught to just shove it down, smile, be nice, keep the peace.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So it gets buried, but it doesn't go away.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And for so many women I work with, it ends up living in the body.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And it first manifests as inflammation.
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[SPEAKER_00]: When you think about anger, it's hot and fiery and literally inflamed, right?
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[SPEAKER_00]: then it gets stuck in places like the chest, the jaw, the stomach, and it has nowhere else to go.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Angry doesn't mean you're broken.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It means something happened that you haven't been fully able to come to terms with yet.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Even just naming it and letting yourself say, that wasn't okay can start to move the energy.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Let's talk about guilt.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Not the kind that shows up after you get sick,
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[SPEAKER_00]: The guilt that kept you saying, yes, when you really wanted to say no, the guilt that made you feel bad for resting, the guilt that kept in every time you put yourself first, even for a second, it builds slowly, guilt for not calling back for doing more for not being everything for everyone or making mistakes.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You learned early on that being good meant being available, helpful, selfless, perfect.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And somewhere along the way you decided, probably without even realizing it, that your needs didn't matter as much as everyone else is.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's the kind of guilt that gets stuck and lives in your body.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That wires your system into a constant state of overgiving, overfunctioning and overwriting what you actually need.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And if no one ever told you this, please hear it now.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You don't have to earn your worth through what you do for others.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You never did.
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[SPEAKER_00]: What guilt is really saying is, if I take care of myself, I'm letting someone else down and that doesn't feel safe.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So start there.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Because until that belief shifts, your body will keep bracing for impact every time you
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[SPEAKER_00]: Let's move on to shame.
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[SPEAKER_00]: For so many women, shame starts early.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Not because you did something wrong, but because of who you were.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you were too emotional.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Too loud, too intense, too aggressive.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Maybe you felt different, too sensitive for the people around you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So you learned to edit yourself, to shrink, to show only the parts that felt acceptable.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And over time, that becomes automatic.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You don't even notice how much you're editing yourself, how much you're performing.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You just feel disconnected.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Like you're living slightly outside of yourself.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You second guess your instincts.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You don't want to take up too much space.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Need too much.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Ask for too much.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And slowly you start to forget how to be who you are.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I need you to know that I'm not enough or I'm too much story.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't say in your head.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It seeps into your body.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's self-rejection and it starts in our conflict and in our war where you're saying it's not safe or acceptable to be authentically me.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And when your body believes that it's not just your voice that shuts down, it's your energy, your intuition, your ability to feel peace and at home in yourself.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Now let's talk about resentment, resentment sounds like, why not me?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Why wasn't I the one who got to fall apart?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Why didn't anyone show up for me the way I showed up for them?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Why did they get the support, the care, the freedom, and I was treated differently?
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[SPEAKER_00]: resentment isn't explosive.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's quiet and build slowly.
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[SPEAKER_00]: In families where one child got protected, while maybe you had to grow up fast.
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[SPEAKER_00]: In friendships where you were always the listener, the helper, never the one being checked on though.
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[SPEAKER_00]: In relationships where your needs were too much,
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[SPEAKER_00]: You might have told yourself it didn't matter that you were fine, that you were the strong one, but your body didn't forget.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Because every time you swallowed that feeling, every time you said, I'm okay, when you really weren't, it stayed.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And that's what resentment is.
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[SPEAKER_00]: The weight of everything you didn't get to express.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But it's not here to make you bitter.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's here to show you where you've gone unheard.
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[SPEAKER_00]: to wake you up to what you actually needed, but never felt allowed to ask for.
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[SPEAKER_00]: What resentment is really saying is, something mattered to me and I've been pretending it didn't.
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[SPEAKER_00]: and the longer you pretend, the heavier it gets.
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[SPEAKER_00]: The second you start telling the truth, even just to yourself, that energy begins to shift.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Because the purpose of resentment isn't to punish you, it's to bring you back to your unmet needs who can finally stop abandoning yourself.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Lastly, I want to talk about insecurity.
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[SPEAKER_00]: This one doesn't always show up the way you think.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't sound like I hate myself.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It sounds like, was that okay?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Did I do enough?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Should I have said that differently?
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's subtle.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It hides behind overthinking and people pleasing and perfectionism.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's the feeling that no matter how much you give, achieve, fix or control, it still might not be enough.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And most of the time, this didn't start in adulthood.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It started way earlier in the environments where love felt conditional, where approval had to be earned.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We're being accepted met being easy, helpful, successful, impressive, and never too messy or emotional or inconvenient.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So you adapted.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You learned to scan for how people were reacting.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You made yourself easy to like.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You tried to be good at everything, not because you wanted to, but because deep down you were scared of what would happen if you weren't.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And over time that becomes the lens.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You stopped trusting yourself.
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[SPEAKER_00]: You look outside of you for answers, for safety, for permission.
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[SPEAKER_00]: What insecurity is really saying is, who I am might not be enough, so I have to keep proving myself.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And that pressure, that constant internal loop of doing checking, fixing, adjusting.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't just drain your mind.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It drains your body.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Until your system is in a constant state of tension, waiting for the next thing to go wrong.
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[SPEAKER_00]: This emotion was a huge block for me in the past and 100% contributed to the development of my chronic illness diagnoses.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't realize the impact until I was deep into my healing journey years ago.
12:29
[SPEAKER_00]: I have always been super competitive, really driven to be the best that everything I do, super high achieving.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I thought that was just a personality trait for the longest time.
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[SPEAKER_00]: and it was during a session with my own coach, I realized that is absolutely not the case at all.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It was a protection mechanism.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I learned to not be left out, because if you're the best, you don't get left out.
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[SPEAKER_00]: If you're the best, you make the team.
13:00
[SPEAKER_00]: If you win the medal, you get the praise.
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[SPEAKER_00]: If you're impressive, people notice.
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[SPEAKER_00]: If you're useful, you're needed.
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[SPEAKER_00]: If you're easy to be around, you're invited back.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's the blueprint my mind had built, and it was so deeply embedded.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't even question it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It just felt like who I was.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Like I was just wired that way.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But actually, I was terrified of being overlooked or left out rejected and excluded.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And in order to never feel like that again, I just started excelling and committed myself to being extraordinary.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Not just on teams or at work, but in relationships, in conversations, in life.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I kept pushing, doing more, being more, fixing everything before anyone even noticed there was a problem.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Not because I wanted to, but because somewhere deep down, it felt like I had to to be safe.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And that's the kind of pressure nobody can sustain forever.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I remember the realization so clearly in my session because I lost it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I absolutely crumbled and started sobbing uncontrollably.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I realized in that moment, my whole life had been built around a lie.
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[SPEAKER_00]: This was the thing I thought was me, the drive, the competitiveness, the motivation to be the best.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But it wasn't actually who I was.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It was a strategy.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It was a mind game I had subconsciously learned to stay safe.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I had this kind of big identity crisis for a moment because who was I without that competitiveness?
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[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't know if I had realized that sooner, what would my life be like?
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[SPEAKER_00]: This was a big, big deal for me, and it literally robbed my entire world, because there was no way to unsee it.
14:52
[SPEAKER_00]: As much as I wish I could have gone back and lived in blissful ignorance, I couldn't.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I needed to see it because it was a huge part of healing.
15:01
[SPEAKER_00]: There is always something underneath your emotions.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And if you don't recognize what that is, it's going to shape how you think, how you act, and how you feel about yourself.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's why this work matters.
15:13
[SPEAKER_00]: Because the second you understand what an emotion is really pointing to, it doesn't run your life anymore.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And we only scratched the surface today.
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[SPEAKER_00]: These are just five emotions.
15:25
[SPEAKER_00]: But inside my online healing retreat, now she heals,
15:30
[SPEAKER_00]: We look at the emotional patterns behind dozens of chronic illness diagnoses and spend real time unpacking what those feelings have been trying to show you so they stop holding power over you and stop fueling your illness.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That is launching so soon, the waitlist is open now, go and find the link in the show notes.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Before I wrap, I want to quickly connect this back to something I mentioned every episode, the universal laws.
15:58
[SPEAKER_00]: If you're a newer to this space, these are just energetic principles I've seen play out again and again in my own healing and in the women I work with and when you understand them things start to click and what used to feel random starts to make a lot more sense to that really time to what we've explored today or the lot perpetual transmutation of energy that's a mouthful but it's basically a law that says energy is always moving always shifting form.
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[SPEAKER_00]: energy cannot be created or destroyed.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Even the emotions you've buried or pushed aside for years still hold energy.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And the moment you acknowledge them, that energy starts to move.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And that's what makes healing possible.
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[SPEAKER_00]: and the law of rhythm, which reminds us that everything comes in cycles, your emotions, your symptoms, your healing, none of it is fixed, it's not stuck.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So if something keeps showing up, it doesn't mean you're failing.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It means it's time to look a little deeper and let it move through.
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[SPEAKER_00]: OK, witches, if you've enjoyed today's episode, please take a moment and rate this podcast.
17:06
[SPEAKER_00]: It helps to grow our community of wellness witches, and it means so much to me.
17:10
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you so much.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Peace love and mung beans.
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[SPEAKER_00]: See you in two weeks.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Bye.