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How Much Freedom for Kids · Let's Ask the Mamas!

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: We got a question for American mama's. Dear mama's, how
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: much freedom is healthy for children today? Well, let's ask.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Americ and mamas.
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: And Jini is now are American Mama's Turntville and Kimberly Burleson,
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  Speaker 1: So you know, when did I raised our kids? We
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  Speaker 1: call it like they were free range children, Like it
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  Speaker 1: helps that they were indoor children. I mean, we're like,
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  Speaker 1: you can go anywhere you want to go.
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  Speaker 3: In the house.
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  Speaker 1: They just didn't want to leave the house. I mean,
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  Speaker 1: you want to go down the street, Go down the street.
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  Speaker 1: But we also kind of said, you know, look, you've
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  Speaker 1: got free range, but we've there is a fence and
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  Speaker 1: it's electrified.
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  Speaker 3: So you will die if you leave this yard.
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  Speaker 2: Don't touch that.
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  Speaker 1: I mean you can, you can do ale you've got.
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  Speaker 1: We gave them a whole bunch of freedom within a
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  Speaker 1: parameter right and do not touch that parameter, do not
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  Speaker 1: test me. I'll give you a whole bunch of freedom
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  Speaker 1: until you have none. And that was kind of how
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  Speaker 1: we went about things. But is that do kids have
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  Speaker 1: too much freedom today? They not have enough freedom today?
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  Speaker 4: I know they call them like, are you are free
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  Speaker 4: range parent or a strict parent. And I would say
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  Speaker 4: I was more of a strict parent, you know, because
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  Speaker 4: I just felt like it was important that we stay
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  Speaker 4: on top of things. I think that the world today
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  Speaker 4: is scary technology. I had to be able to see
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  Speaker 4: what they were on there. I mean Stone, his first
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  Speaker 4: sight at porn was in fifth grade in his school,
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  Speaker 4: and I thought his life was completely ruined.
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  Speaker 3: Oh no, we ever a computer out of the law.
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  Speaker 4: I ripped our computer. I just thought, no computers. I
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  Speaker 4: couldn't believe it happened in a classroom. I go to
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  Speaker 4: my office. So I decided to go check all the
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  Speaker 4: computers in our office just to see if my son
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  Speaker 4: fifth grader, no third, he was third. Yeah, So I
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  Speaker 4: go and I start looking at the history and I
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  Speaker 4: see big boobs, big giant, giant giant boobs. Oh my gosh,
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  Speaker 4: my child is ruined.
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  Speaker 1: He's going to enjoy your sharing this.
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  Speaker 4: And I mean I was a parent. I was on
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  Speaker 4: top of things. So even if you are on top
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  Speaker 4: of things, things will happen. You know, things are gonna
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  Speaker 4: So I.
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  Speaker 3: Don't know, I don't know what the okay, So let
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  Speaker 3: me just say this. I you know I cannot cook
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  Speaker 3: really or so I was in Future Homemakers of America,
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  Speaker 3: and maybe I didn't do those things right, but I
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  Speaker 3: did get into the childlife part. This is something that
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  Speaker 3: Miss Parks in high school taught. There's four types of pearance. Permissive,
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  Speaker 3: low expectations, few rules, whatever you want. There's authoritarian high expectations,
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  Speaker 3: clear rules, limited warmth. There's uninvolved, no expectations, neglectful, don't care.
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  Speaker 3: And there's authoritative, which is what I think y'all land
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  Speaker 3: in and us. This is the sweet spot. This is
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  Speaker 3: high warmth, clear expectations. This approach fosters a balance of
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  Speaker 3: love and boundaries. It emphasis emphasizes guidance and support while
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  Speaker 3: allowing children to learn from their experiences. It's a very
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  Speaker 3: supportive environment. So that so you can have like you said,
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  Speaker 3: it was free range to them, but you and Wendy
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  Speaker 3: had the perimeters.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, it was free range up until it wasn't.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly.
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  Speaker 3: That's how I think that a lot of people that
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  Speaker 3: I know, that's the way we parent. Now. We had
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  Speaker 3: an aunt, or we have an aunt who raised her
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  Speaker 3: children very free range. Like Rachel was taking the bus
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  Speaker 3: into Austin at ten years old by herself and would
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  Speaker 3: explore I mean, they're fine, they're great. So my thing
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  Speaker 3: and maybe it's a different time in day because that
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  Speaker 3: was back in the eighties. My thing is, I don't
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  Speaker 3: trust the world. I could never, ever, ever even let
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  Speaker 3: my child go by themselves to them all because you've
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  Speaker 3: seen the show Adam. You know you've seen is that
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  Speaker 3: at a young age? Did y'all do that? Y'all let them?
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  Speaker 2: Oh?
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  Speaker 1: No, no, we didn't let them. I'm just I was
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  Speaker 1: looking at some of my wife's direction in there. I
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  Speaker 1: was looking at her because she went anywhere she wanted to.
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  Speaker 3: And she's great, so it might be a sign of
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  Speaker 3: the time.
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  Speaker 1: So she drove there at nine.
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  Speaker 3: Okay, would Wendy, Wendy, would you allow Bailey or Julia
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  Speaker 3: to go on a bus somewhere and explore the city
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  Speaker 3: and come back home at ten years old?
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  Speaker 2: Exactly?
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  Speaker 3: We don't trust the right. I think things are different.
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  Speaker 3: But then I think if you're strict and you are
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  Speaker 3: authoritarian and there's no warmth, then that will lead to
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  Speaker 3: like mental issues where they you know you're not good enough,
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  Speaker 3: you know, you see think so too.
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  Speaker 4: I think there's a lot of parents too that want
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  Speaker 4: to be best friends with their kids. Yeah, and I
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  Speaker 4: think it's not a healthy thing to be a best
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  Speaker 4: friend that's a permissive Yeah. Absolutely, that's later in life.
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  Speaker 4: But were you spankers? Did you spank your kids?
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  Speaker 1: You know, we always had it as a option. I
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  Speaker 1: did have to spank my son when he was very young.
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  Speaker 1: And what I realized was I escalated the situation too soon,
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  Speaker 1: because one of things as a parent was like, I
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  Speaker 1: was never going to pick an argument with my kid
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  Speaker 1: that I wasn't going to win. Yeah, I was going
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  Speaker 1: to win. So I hasked I had set the parameters
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  Speaker 1: of escalation too quick, and so then I backed myself
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  Speaker 1: into a spanking. Yeah, And so from then on I
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: was I learned to adjust that. But yes, it was always,
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  Speaker 1: it was always in the toolkit. We actually, uh when
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  Speaker 1: Julia was getting to the point where she had a phone,
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  Speaker 1: we actually put monitoring software on the phone and so
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  Speaker 1: whenever there was something that came across any apps of
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  Speaker 1: her phone, messages or whatever, we would get information. So
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  Speaker 1: if there's a cussword or something like that, So when
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  Speaker 1: she was messaging with her other friends, and her friends
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  Speaker 1: would type a cussword and it would show up on
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  Speaker 1: our alerts. And eventually what we had was Julia was
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  Speaker 1: telling all of her friends language, my parents see everything
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  Speaker 1: you're typing. Yeah, please stop cussing on our text.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: So she then was doing that with.
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  Speaker 3: See that's the difference between y'all and me, someone that's
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  Speaker 3: not tech, no savvy. I wouldn't know how to do
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  Speaker 3: all of that. I would have a clue. I have
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  Speaker 3: no idea what my children did. Well, all I know
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  Speaker 3: is they've all told me they're not going to let
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  Speaker 3: their children have phones as at the age I'll let mine.
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: And I'm like, okay, okay, got it.
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  Speaker 1: Got good enough. Descar American mom is a question? Go
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: to our website America reader dot com. Solash mom was
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: a click on the ass of the moments button turned out
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  Speaker 1: of bocaing the brothers and thank you so much, thank you,