Latest / ok storytime / My father flew me ACROSS the country… to meet his secret second family! -r/relationships | Reddit Stories | EP3071

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My father flew me ACROSS the country… to meet his secret second family! -r/relationships | Reddit Stories | EP3071 · ok storytime

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Ayo, it's Riley here.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: And this is Carly, your favorite OK Storytime host. And
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: we've got some great stories coming up.
• 0:06
  Speaker 3: Before we get into these wild stories, we have a
• 0:08
  Speaker 3: quick two-minute break from the sponsors that keep the show going.
• 0:12
  Speaker 4: My father flew me across the country to meet his
• 0:16
  Speaker 4: secret second family. Oh, I didn't want to know that.
• 0:19
  Speaker 4: I'm a female in my mid-20s, originally from California, wrapping
• 0:23
  Speaker 4: up a summer internship on the East Coast, having the
• 0:25
  Speaker 4: time of my life. I planned on having one last
• 0:28
  Speaker 4: adventure in the city during my last weekend before returning
• 0:30
  Speaker 4: home this Saturday, until my dad decided to fly me
• 0:33
  Speaker 4: out halfway across the country to visit him where he works. Backstory,
• 0:37
  Speaker 4: my parents, who've been married for just over 30 years,
• 0:41
  Speaker 4: are hardworking individuals and have raised us well. Much of
• 0:44
  Speaker 4: the credit towards achieving the American dream goes to my
• 0:46
  Speaker 4: mom for flying halfway across the world away from their
• 0:48
  Speaker 4: native country to land a job in the U.S., where
• 0:51
  Speaker 4: my dad, 62 male, and two older siblings, who were
• 0:55
  Speaker 4: toddlers at the time, eventually joined. After years of working
• 0:58
  Speaker 4: up the corporate ladder, we've been living a comfortable upper
• 1:01
  Speaker 4: middle class lifestyle in California. Everything looks fine on the outside.
• 1:05
  Speaker 4: I'm the youngest of three and I'm extremely close to
• 1:08
  Speaker 4: my dad, primarily because my mom, although very loving, has
• 1:11
  Speaker 4: the tendency to nag and micromanage like crazy. The sight
• 1:15
  Speaker 4: of her, my dad says, caused them to grow apart
• 1:17
  Speaker 4: over the years. Because of this, he was quick to
• 1:19
  Speaker 4: accept a job offer out of state six years ago.
• 1:22
  Speaker 4: A couple years before this, my mom suspected him of
• 1:24
  Speaker 4: infidelity when she saw him first frantically closing out tabs
• 1:28
  Speaker 4: on the computer when entering their bedroom to the point
• 1:31
  Speaker 4: of locking the door and demanding he fessed up, to
• 1:33
  Speaker 4: which he adamantly denied. Since then, they've continued as normal.
• 1:38
  Speaker 4: There was an incident in 2010 when my sister was
• 1:41
  Speaker 4: in Vegas and dad was in Phoenix on business. until
• 1:45
  Speaker 4: she saw him strolling along at Caesar's Palace with a
• 1:48
  Speaker 4: younger and older woman, presumably the mother. When she confronted
• 1:52
  Speaker 4: him about it a week later, he vehemently denied anything
• 1:56
  Speaker 4: was going on and that the woman was just a
• 1:58
  Speaker 4: friend or co-worker. By the way, this comes from Is
• 2:02
  Speaker 4: A Throwaway, though, and if you want to submit your
• 2:04
  Speaker 4: own stories, go to r slash ok story time subreddit.
• 2:06
  Speaker 4: I'm Savannah. I'm Sophia.
• 2:08
  Speaker 5: I'm Riley.
• 2:08
  Speaker 4: And we're here to give some good advice in a
• 2:10
  Speaker 4: little goofy way. But we don't have all your answers.
• 2:12
  Speaker 4: We'd only tell you what we would do, but you
• 2:13
  Speaker 4: should let us know what you would do down in
• 2:15
  Speaker 4: the comments. Since moving out of state for work, his
• 2:17
  Speaker 4: weekend visits became so sparse to the point where he
• 2:21
  Speaker 4: barely comes every month. usually on Saturdays and leaves early
• 2:25
  Speaker 4: Sunday mornings. Mom is under the impression this is all
• 2:27
  Speaker 4: temporary and he'll be back permanently in due time, despite
• 2:30
  Speaker 4: recently accepting another job offer in a different state, much
• 2:33
  Speaker 4: further away in the middle of the country. Why is
• 2:36
  Speaker 4: he taking job offers like completely not in state? Who
• 2:39
  Speaker 4: does that? He wants to not be part of this
• 2:41
  Speaker 4: family anymore. If I was the wife, I'd be like,
• 2:44
  Speaker 4: take a job in the state. Stop being so far away.
• 2:48
  Speaker 4: Sounds like he doesn't like his wife.
• 2:50
  Speaker 5: Ah, but the money's better out of state.
• 2:53
  Speaker 4: The money. My other family's better out of state.
• 2:55
  Speaker 5: It's like universities. They pay more out of state.
• 2:58
  Speaker 4: He admitted to me that he is much happier with
• 3:01
  Speaker 4: his freedom, never having to report to her what time
• 3:03
  Speaker 4: he's coming home, what he's up to, etc. and that
• 3:06
  Speaker 4: he no longer loves my mom. She waits on him
• 3:09
  Speaker 4: hand and foot when he actually is around while he
• 3:12
  Speaker 4: treats her as a roommate. My siblings and I suspected
• 3:15
  Speaker 4: him of dating other women slash having second families with
• 3:18
  Speaker 4: them because he was never short on excuses of why
• 3:21
  Speaker 4: we couldn't just fly up and visit him. why he
• 3:24
  Speaker 4: couldn't make it to my older sister's wedding, etc. Meanwhile,
• 3:27
  Speaker 4: my gut feeling all these years have pointed to him
• 3:31
  Speaker 4: having affairs, but hoping he had stopped while I maintained
• 3:33
  Speaker 4: distance from involvement. I tend to give him the benefit
• 3:36
  Speaker 4: of the doubt because of how close we are, but
• 3:38
  Speaker 4: this weekend took the cake. I assumed I would fly
• 3:41
  Speaker 4: out to where he resides for work, anticipating a weekend
• 3:44
  Speaker 4: of bonding time and sightseeing. When we met at the airport,
• 3:47
  Speaker 4: he said, we're going to meet some friends of mine.
• 3:49
  Speaker 4: But don't judge. My stomach dropped. Don't judge?
• 3:52
  Speaker 6: He's like, no, we're going to meet some friends of
• 3:54
  Speaker 6: mine that look a little like me. Don't worry about it,
• 3:57
  Speaker 6: don't ask too many questions. I might kiss one of
• 3:59
  Speaker 6: my friends. Don't worry about it, don't ask too many questions.
• 4:02
  Speaker 4: I may have to burp and feed a child that
• 4:05
  Speaker 4: may or may not be mine. Don't ask too many questions.
• 4:09
  Speaker 4: Just don't judge me. I joked with my fiance days
• 4:12
  Speaker 4: ago about this, but assumed he wouldn't pull such a
• 4:14
  Speaker 4: heavy stunt. But there we were, driving to the other
• 4:17
  Speaker 4: woman's house. I met someone about 50 plus, and we'll
• 4:21
  Speaker 4: be staying with her. She has three kids, two of
• 4:24
  Speaker 4: which are teenagers. What the crap? I couldn't stomach this.
• 4:28
  Speaker 4: And to top it off, I knew I was going
• 4:30
  Speaker 4: to be forced into being social with a family of
• 4:33
  Speaker 4: strangers I don't even approve of. I flew into bomb
• 4:36
  Speaker 4: F Egypt for this. Egypt is kind of cool though. Yeah,
• 4:39
  Speaker 4: that's kind of fun.
• 4:41
  Speaker 5: Not back whenever there wasn't much going on.
• 4:43
  Speaker 4: Yeah, this was pre-pyramids. This was pre-Egypt. This was tens
• 4:47
  Speaker 4: of thousands of years ago. After the awkward introduction, we
• 4:50
  Speaker 4: all went out to lunch in the city where there
• 4:53
  Speaker 4: was continued awkwardness on the way there with forced dialogue. OP,
• 4:56
  Speaker 4: why are you so quiet? It made me sick hearing
• 5:00
  Speaker 4: this other woman say crap like, do you need cash
• 5:02
  Speaker 4: for parking? Are you okay, honey? While walking to the restaurant,
• 5:06
  Speaker 4: my dad had the nerve to tell me to hold
• 5:08
  Speaker 4: the 10-year-old girl's hand while we crossed the street. I
• 5:11
  Speaker 4: pretended not to hear him, but he kept insisting.
• 5:14
  Speaker 7: F that.
• 5:15
  Speaker 4: Because who are these dang people? I was even more
• 5:17
  Speaker 4: annoyed when we were alone at one point, and he
• 5:19
  Speaker 4: told me to talk more so that they get used
• 5:22
  Speaker 4: to it.
• 5:22
  Speaker 7: What?
• 5:23
  Speaker 5: He's prepping you for something.
• 5:25
  Speaker 4: So they get used to you, your voice? no thanks
• 5:28
  Speaker 4: i refused to play the big sister role to a
• 5:30
  Speaker 4: bunch of strangers whose existence i just discovered an hour
• 5:33
  Speaker 4: prior and act as if i condone your behavior we
• 5:36
  Speaker 4: walked to a nearby historical monument where i was forced
• 5:39
  Speaker 4: to take pictures with this family smile op i found
• 5:43
  Speaker 4: it weird the way he interacted with the kids like
• 5:46
  Speaker 4: he was trying too hard to tolerate them as a
• 5:48
  Speaker 4: way of getting close to their mother the little girl
• 5:50
  Speaker 4: was trying to point something out at the monument, but
• 5:52
  Speaker 4: my dad kept brushing her off with, oh, okay, okay, nice,
• 5:55
  Speaker 4: just to shut her up. When my dad got up
• 5:58
  Speaker 4: to use the restroom, I asked how they met.
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: Online!
• 6:01
  Speaker 4: He was just so funny, and we FaceTimed before the meeting.
• 6:04
  Speaker 4: It felt so effed up hearing this lady gushing over
• 6:07
  Speaker 4: my dad, who, by the way, was no longer wearing
• 6:09
  Speaker 4: his wedding ring. Low-key shocked that OP's not immediately just like,
• 6:12
  Speaker 4: not that she should have to, but I don't know
• 6:15
  Speaker 4: how I would hold that in, you know? I'd start screaming. Yeah,
• 6:18
  Speaker 4: I'd be immediately- You met him online?
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 6:21
  Speaker 4: He's married! I'd immediately be like, he's married, he's married,
• 6:24
  Speaker 4: my dad is married. I would say, do you know
• 6:26
  Speaker 4: how I fit in this equation? Yeah, do you know
• 6:28
  Speaker 4: who I am? Do you know who I actually am?
• 6:30
  Speaker 5: Do you know how we met?
• 6:31
  Speaker 4: Who do you think I am? I mean, I'm sure
• 6:34
  Speaker 4: he introduced them as, this is my daughter. What do
• 6:36
  Speaker 4: you think's going on here? We went back to the
• 6:38
  Speaker 4: house with the intent to rest before dinner and I
• 6:40
  Speaker 4: was told I'd be staying in the little girl's room.
• 6:42
  Speaker 4: Thinking I'd finally have a private moment to myself, I
• 6:45
  Speaker 4: walked in only to see that the girl wasn't going
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  Speaker 4: to leave. She sat in a chair in the corner
• 6:49
  Speaker 4: playing games on a phone while I was expected to
• 6:52
  Speaker 4: nap slash rest in her presence. I stepped outside to
• 6:55
  Speaker 4: have a panicked phone call with my fiance about all
• 6:57
  Speaker 4: the awkwardness before mustering up the courage to talk to
• 6:59
  Speaker 4: my dad. When I came back inside, I heard my
• 7:02
  Speaker 4: dad call my name and followed his voice down the hallway,
• 7:05
  Speaker 4: only to enter the bedroom of the other woman where
• 7:07
  Speaker 4: I saw them lying beside one another. Is everything okay?
• 7:11
  Speaker 4: Take a nap before we go out to dinner. Yeah, no. Dad,
• 7:16
  Speaker 4: can I have a word with you real quick? I
• 7:18
  Speaker 4: took him outside and told him how shocked I was
• 7:20
  Speaker 4: being brought out here to encounter something I so strongly
• 7:23
  Speaker 4: disapprove of, and his only reactions were to nod, tell
• 7:26
  Speaker 4: me he understands, and say okay. We'll leave early tomorrow
• 7:29
  Speaker 4: morning then before the flight home. He went back to
• 7:32
  Speaker 4: the room to nap, but I felt like I was
• 7:34
  Speaker 4: brushed off.
• 7:35
  Speaker 5: Just like the little girl. Also, he wasn't napping.
• 7:37
  Speaker 4: What were they doing in there?
• 7:38
  Speaker 5: Clapping.
• 7:39
  Speaker 4: Oh, no.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: Oh, man.
• 7:42
  Speaker 4: I needed an exit plan quick and neither Lyft nor
• 7:45
  Speaker 4: Uber operate in the city. No, it's bomb F Egypt.
• 7:48
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 7:49
  Speaker 5: Middle of nowhere.
• 7:50
  Speaker 4: Middle of nowhere Egypt. There's only pyramids here. We have
• 7:53
  Speaker 4: no other form of transportation. Maybe a camel. But those
• 7:56
  Speaker 4: are also scarce. yes i managed to find a cheap
• 7:59
  Speaker 4: hotel deal for one night close to the airport and
• 8:02
  Speaker 4: a taxi app hoping the cab came quickly enough for
• 8:04
  Speaker 4: me to sneak out just as it pulled up to
• 8:06
  Speaker 4: the house i grabbed my stuff tiptoed to the front
• 8:08
  Speaker 4: door thinking i was clear and heard the lady from
• 8:10
  Speaker 4: the kitchen say is everything okay yeah this was great
• 8:13
  Speaker 4: but i gotta go i sit in the back of
• 8:15
  Speaker 4: the cab and just as i was about to pull
• 8:18
  Speaker 4: up the address to the hotel cab driver told me
• 8:20
  Speaker 4: to look up and i see my dad eyes bloodshot
• 8:23
  Speaker 4: stifling Tears. Where are you going? Why are you leaving?
• 8:27
  Speaker 4: When I told him the situation made me uncomfortable to
• 8:29
  Speaker 4: the point of getting a hotel room, he apologized to
• 8:31
  Speaker 4: the cab driver and paid in cash, insisting he would
• 8:33
  Speaker 4: take me instead. When we had a moment in the driveway,
• 8:35
  Speaker 4: I echoed my previous sentiments of not wanting to be
• 8:38
  Speaker 4: culpable in this mess. Yeah, we should have gotten you
• 8:41
  Speaker 4: a hotel room in the first place. Uh, no, you
• 8:44
  Speaker 4: should have never brought me out here, ever. I know
• 8:46
  Speaker 4: you'd be shocked, but I was hoping you'd understand. What
• 8:49
  Speaker 4: the F?
• 8:50
  Speaker 6: So this woman can't be married to him because you're... Yeah, no.
• 8:54
  Speaker 6: I was like, unless she's in a different country, I
• 8:55
  Speaker 6: don't know.
• 8:55
  Speaker 5: So how long have they been doing this for?
• 8:57
  Speaker 4: Well, yeah, because this is just like his girlfriend and
• 8:59
  Speaker 4: they have a whole, they have children. I mean, there's
• 9:02
  Speaker 4: a 10 year old.
• 9:02
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 9:03
  Speaker 4: I don't know if that's his or not.
• 9:05
  Speaker 6: He just convinced her to be like chill. I mean,
• 9:08
  Speaker 6: maybe she'd never wanted to get married, but.
• 9:10
  Speaker 4: He was extremely apologetic on the drive to the hotel
• 9:13
  Speaker 4: saying he ruined my weekend. Oh man, I'm sorry I
• 9:16
  Speaker 4: ruined your weekend. No, you ruined my life, dad. After
• 9:18
  Speaker 4: he walked me into my room, we had a serious
• 9:20
  Speaker 4: talk and I told him he needs to fix this
• 9:22
  Speaker 4: before crap really hits the fan. I insisted they continue
• 9:26
  Speaker 4: with their dinner reservation without me, and he told me
• 9:28
  Speaker 4: that it was for me and that they would no
• 9:31
  Speaker 4: longer be going. He ended the conversation with, it would
• 9:34
  Speaker 4: make me really happy to see you and have dinner
• 9:36
  Speaker 4: with you tonight. It's up to you. Text me regardless
• 9:38
  Speaker 4: of what you choose. Come 7 p.m., I was torn. Girl,
• 9:40
  Speaker 4: you should have.
• 9:41
  Speaker 7: Gotten that cab.
• 9:42
  Speaker 5: You should have went back. You should have went in
• 9:43
  Speaker 5: that cab.
• 9:44
  Speaker 4: Let's go. Let's go. Like, why aren't we immediately calling mom, saying, hey, mom?
• 9:48
  Speaker 4: You should divorce your husband.
• 9:49
  Speaker 5: Hey mom, fun news.
• 9:51
  Speaker 6: Yeah, this shit's in. Divorce him. Let your mom divorce
• 9:55
  Speaker 6: this guy.
• 9:55
  Speaker 4: Come 7 p.m., I was torn between even seeing him
• 9:59
  Speaker 4: again or going across the street to TGI Fridays for
• 10:02
  Speaker 4: Buffalo Wings. But I wanted to give him another chance.
• 10:05
  Speaker 4: I told him I would like to have dinner with
• 10:06
  Speaker 4: you if and only if it is only you and me.
• 10:10
  Speaker 4: Assuming he'd pick me up for a father-daughter dinner date.
• 10:13
  Speaker 4: He said, I will bring you noodle stir fry, honey.
• 10:16
  Speaker 4: I chilled in my hotel room waiting and waiting and
• 10:19
  Speaker 4: telling my two older siblings about this ordeal who were
• 10:22
  Speaker 4: concerned with my safety and well-being. After about two hours,
• 10:25
  Speaker 4: I told him not to come by anymore and that
• 10:27
  Speaker 4: I'd take care of myself. But I have food for you.
• 10:28
  Speaker 4: Do you want me to bring it? Cancel your order. Okay, fine.
• 10:31
  Speaker 4: Feeling guilty of rejecting him, I waited another hour, 10,
• 10:34
  Speaker 4: 15 p.m., And he finally came by with what looked
• 10:38
  Speaker 4: to be leftovers or takeout. I was angry at myself
• 10:41
  Speaker 4: for being so forgiving when I was merely an afterthought
• 10:44
  Speaker 4: while he was out treating his other family. The following morning,
• 10:47
  Speaker 4: when he dropped me off at the airport, he said,
• 10:49
  Speaker 4: I'm sorry this trip did not meet your expectations. Well,
• 10:51
  Speaker 4: no crap. You dropped a huge bomb on me.
• 10:54
  Speaker 6: I'm sorry learning that I've been cheating on your mother
• 10:57
  Speaker 6: and leading a whole double life didn't pan out for
• 11:00
  Speaker 6: us this weekend.
• 11:01
  Speaker 4: Here's the problem. My mom has no idea any of
• 11:03
  Speaker 4: this is going on. I fly back home in California.
• 11:07
  Speaker 4: this Saturday. My dad plans on flying in too. I
• 11:09
  Speaker 4: was under the impression this would be the weekend he'd
• 11:11
  Speaker 4: fess up, but he volunteered to help my older brother
• 11:14
  Speaker 4: and his wife and baby move into their new apartment.
• 11:16
  Speaker 4: My guess is he plans on coming clean to the
• 11:18
  Speaker 4: family later in the weekend, if at all. My older
• 11:21
  Speaker 4: siblings want to break the news to my mom either
• 11:23
  Speaker 4: Friday or Saturday. likely before I arrive since my flight
• 11:27
  Speaker 4: lands later afternoon. I'm grappling between even telling her because
• 11:30
  Speaker 4: I'm trying to keep my distance from their marriage, but
• 11:33
  Speaker 4: I feel it became my business from having involuntarily witnessed
• 11:36
  Speaker 4: evidence of the affair firsthand. I mean, you don't even
• 11:39
  Speaker 4: have to tell her. You can let your siblings tell her.
• 11:41
  Speaker 4: They'll do it. Just let them do that.
• 11:43
  Speaker 6: If it's stressing you out and your siblings are chill
• 11:46
  Speaker 6: with doing it before you even arrive, just do it
• 11:48
  Speaker 6: that way.
• 11:48
  Speaker 4: You don't owe your dad anything. It's true. He's a
• 11:50
  Speaker 4: little cheater.
• 11:52
  Speaker 5: You should just win the cab. I don't know why
• 11:53
  Speaker 5: you backed out of it.
• 11:54
  Speaker 4: Should have gotten that cab to LAX. Well, she saw
• 11:58
  Speaker 4: her dad crying. I would... Don't care. I don't know.
• 12:01
  Speaker 4: If I saw my dad crying, I'd be like, okay, maybe.
• 12:03
  Speaker 5: If I saw my dad cheating, I'd be like, what
• 12:06
  Speaker 5: are you doing?
• 12:07
  Speaker 4: That is also true. If I saw my dad cheating
• 12:09
  Speaker 4: and then crying, I'd be like.
• 12:10
  Speaker 5: Not only cheating, having a second family.
• 12:13
  Speaker 4: Second family, I'd be like, ew.
• 12:14
  Speaker 8: Ew.
• 12:16
  Speaker 9: Cab home.
• 12:17
  Speaker 5: I'm done here.
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: True, true.
• 12:19
  Speaker 5: Or for me, I'd be getting a horse and getting
• 12:21
  Speaker 5: out of town.
• 12:22
  Speaker 4: The fact that my mom can be a highly volatile
• 12:25
  Speaker 4: person and my potential absence to help handle this as
• 12:29
  Speaker 4: a family makes me uneasy and almost not looking forward
• 12:32
  Speaker 4: to coming home. On top of all this, I begin
• 12:35
  Speaker 4: school next Monday. So the worst is still yet to
• 12:38
  Speaker 4: come because my mom's reaction will be scary. Our rationale
• 12:42
  Speaker 4: is that it would be better to brief mom on this.
• 12:45
  Speaker 4: To not only save ourselves from potential backlash, if you knew,
• 12:48
  Speaker 4: why didn't you tell me? But so that she doesn't
• 12:50
  Speaker 4: feel completely alone in all this. If they knew and
• 12:53
  Speaker 4: didn't tell me, who else could I trust? My siblings
• 12:56
  Speaker 4: have villainized the other woman, but I can't help but
• 12:59
  Speaker 4: feel horrible for her. She thinks she is dating an
• 13:01
  Speaker 4: honest man who is divorced and good to her children.
• 13:04
  Speaker 4: and seems excited to finally meet me because my dad
• 13:07
  Speaker 4: often boasts about me. I can't rid myself of the guilt,
• 13:10
  Speaker 4: plus feeling like I betrayed my dad's trust, despite him
• 13:13
  Speaker 4: betraying the trust of the entire family. I'm really sorry
• 13:16
  Speaker 4: this was long, but I'm panicking and I need insight.
• 13:18
  Speaker 4: What is the best way to approach this while minimizing damage?
• 13:21
  Speaker 4: What I really fear is my mom's volatility and her
• 13:25
  Speaker 4: taking it out on us, especially me. Have you been
• 13:27
  Speaker 4: a witness and not telling her immediately?
• 13:30
  Speaker 6: I think you need to tell your mom. And I
• 13:34
  Speaker 6: think you seem pretty stressed.
• 13:36
  Speaker 4: How old is Opie again?
• 13:37
  Speaker 5: About to start college again.
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: So college age.
• 13:40
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 13:40
  Speaker 6: I would say have your siblings tell her ASAP and
• 13:43
  Speaker 6: say you didn't, you know, if she's like, why didn't
• 13:45
  Speaker 6: you tell me?
• 13:45
  Speaker 4: You're like, I didn't know. I just found out. We
• 13:48
  Speaker 4: told you immediately.
• 13:49
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 13:49
  Speaker 4: The thing is, if this were to happen, like in
• 13:51
  Speaker 4: my family and like my dad were to like, you know,
• 13:54
  Speaker 4: cheat on my mom or something, immediately telling my mom. Yeah. Yeah. I,
• 13:58
  Speaker 4: that's just like, yeah, I don't think, don't wait.
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 14:01
  Speaker 4: I'm like, why live in like ignorant bliss? No, it's,
• 14:04
  Speaker 4: you know, she's not even in bliss.
• 14:05
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 14:06
  Speaker 4: Literally marriage already. Why just live in ignorance? Yeah.
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 14:10
  Speaker 4: Have your siblings tell her there's an update here. Mom
• 14:12
  Speaker 4: quit her high paying job to invest herself in a
• 14:15
  Speaker 4: business while I was away for the summer. Even before this,
• 14:18
  Speaker 4: my dad has always been in charge of most of
• 14:19
  Speaker 4: the finance while mom has been stashing away in savings.
• 14:23
  Speaker 4: He pays the cars, mortgage, et cetera. Older sister spoke
• 14:27
  Speaker 4: to dad a couple of days ago and his words were,
• 14:29
  Speaker 4: you know how your mom will react if she ever
• 14:31
  Speaker 4: disrespects me. I will stop paying the mortgage, the cars,
• 14:34
  Speaker 4: the phone bill. And if you say something, I will
• 14:36
  Speaker 4: disown you and never come back.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.
• 14:39
  Speaker 4: The hero of this story. He said, you know how
• 14:42
  Speaker 4: your mom will react. She sucks. Also, I'm going to
• 14:45
  Speaker 4: disown you if you tell her. Like what? Why do
• 14:48
  Speaker 4: we all have to be complicit in your scheme? Yeah.
• 14:51
  Speaker 4: For real. If someone said that to me. Yeah. Like
• 14:54
  Speaker 4: if you tell her, I'm going to disown you. I'd
• 14:56
  Speaker 4: be like, oh, okay.
• 14:57
  Speaker 6: Then I'm telling your new wife that you're cheating on her.
• 15:01
  Speaker 6: Either way, you're going to get found out, buddy.
• 15:04
  Speaker 4: Oh no, I can blow up your life too.
• 15:06
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 15:07
  Speaker 4: Watch out. Literally. Mutual destruction. It's like you have any
• 15:10
  Speaker 4: leverage on OP or any of the siblings. You're the
• 15:12
  Speaker 4: one in the wrong. Yeah, like OP can end both
• 15:15
  Speaker 4: of your marriages. You basically already disowned us when you
• 15:18
  Speaker 4: started cheating. So, oh no, he's going to do the
• 15:21
  Speaker 4: same thing that he's been doing all these years. Oh no.
• 15:24
  Speaker 10: Yeah.
• 15:25
  Speaker 4: What a threat. As if that's any different than what's
• 15:27
  Speaker 4: going on now. Before telling her, I already hate that
• 15:30
  Speaker 4: this is being stalled. We are going to seek legal
• 15:32
  Speaker 4: advice in order to protect my mom the best way possible.
• 15:35
  Speaker 4: In the heat of the moment, it's easy to want
• 15:37
  Speaker 4: to spill the beans, but that will result in very
• 15:39
  Speaker 4: dire financial consequences for mom. And that's the end.
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: Ang!
• 15:44
  Speaker 4: You know what?
• 15:45
  Speaker 6: I think that's the only reason I would hold off
• 15:47
  Speaker 6: is knowing how mom would react and wanting to safeguard
• 15:50
  Speaker 6: her first.
• 15:51
  Speaker 5: Yeah, be there for her.
• 15:52
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 15:53
  Speaker 5: That's smart.
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of the story. We're going to
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: read the next one.
• 15:57
  Speaker 4: My grandmother promised her piano to me and my sister,
• 16:00
  Speaker 4: but I'm the musician. Only I get the piano. My
• 16:03
  Speaker 4: grandmother is about to move into assisted living. Because of this,
• 16:06
  Speaker 4: she is getting rid of most of her stuff from
• 16:09
  Speaker 4: her current home. My sister, 23 female, and I, 25
• 16:13
  Speaker 4: female to male, get first choice on many of the
• 16:16
  Speaker 4: things my grandmother is getting rid of. My grandmother owns
• 16:18
  Speaker 4: a piano that used to be her mother's. It is
• 16:20
  Speaker 4: something my family has cherished for a long time. I
• 16:23
  Speaker 4: am a musician, and when I started going to school
• 16:25
  Speaker 4: for a music degree, my grandmother promised me that she
• 16:28
  Speaker 4: would give me the piano. either when she passed or
• 16:31
  Speaker 4: when she moved into assisted living. Last week, I found
• 16:34
  Speaker 4: out that she had also promised the piano to my
• 16:36
  Speaker 4: sister a while back. This wasn't malicious or intentional on
• 16:40
  Speaker 4: my grandmother's part. Her memory is no longer the best,
• 16:42
  Speaker 4: and she did not realize she had promised it to
• 16:44
  Speaker 4: both of us. By the way, this comes from Death6Boy.
• 16:48
  Speaker 4: And if you want to submit your own stories, go
• 16:50
  Speaker 4: to the r slash okay story time subreddit on Savannah.
• 16:53
  Speaker 4: I'm Sophia.
• 16:54
  Speaker 9: I'm Keon.
• 16:54
  Speaker 4: And we are here to talk about some stuff, give
• 16:57
  Speaker 4: some advice, but we don't have all of the answers.
• 16:59
  Speaker 4: We're only going to tell you what we would do,
• 17:01
  Speaker 4: but let us know what you would do down in
• 17:03
  Speaker 4: your comments. My sister and I are now trying to
• 17:06
  Speaker 4: figure out who gets the piano. My sister argues that
• 17:08
  Speaker 4: she should get the piano because she has a long-term
• 17:10
  Speaker 4: partner and they want their future kids to learn to
• 17:13
  Speaker 4: play the piano on my grandmother's piano. I argue that
• 17:16
  Speaker 4: I should get the piano because I'm the only one
• 17:18
  Speaker 4: who is actually a musician, so I would already be
• 17:20
  Speaker 4: using it long before my sister and her partner have children.
• 17:23
  Speaker 4: My mother says I shouldn't want the piano because I
• 17:25
  Speaker 4: am a vegan and the piano has ivory, therefore making
• 17:29
  Speaker 4: me a bad vegan if I keep the piano. My
• 17:31
  Speaker 4: response to that would be I didn't buy this extremely
• 17:34
  Speaker 4: old piano and it is a family heirloom that means
• 17:36
  Speaker 4: a lot to me. We haven't brought this dilemma up
• 17:39
  Speaker 4: to my grandmother because she has declared that if we
• 17:41
  Speaker 4: cannot decide who gets something of hers... She will sell
• 17:44
  Speaker 4: it without question and no one in my family wants
• 17:46
  Speaker 4: this piano to be sold. It feels like my family
• 17:49
  Speaker 4: is on my sister's side and they think I am
• 17:51
  Speaker 4: being selfish for wanting this piano even though I am
• 17:53
  Speaker 4: realistically the person who would use it the most. So
• 17:57
  Speaker 4: am I the a-hole for wanting this precious family heirloom?
• 18:00
  Speaker 5: Update!
• 18:00
  Speaker 4: I talked to my grandmother about the situation. Originally my
• 18:03
  Speaker 4: sister and I kept it between ourselves because my grandmother
• 18:06
  Speaker 4: promised to sell any item we argued over. However, I
• 18:08
  Speaker 4: wanted my grandmother's insight. My grandmother felt guilty about accidentally
• 18:12
  Speaker 4: promising the piano to both me and my sister. We
• 18:14
  Speaker 4: discussed the pros and cons of me keeping the piano
• 18:16
  Speaker 4: or giving it to my sister. In the end, we
• 18:18
  Speaker 4: decided it would be best if my sister kept it
• 18:22
  Speaker 4: because the piano hasn't been maintained very well and my
• 18:25
  Speaker 4: sister mostly wants it because of its sentimental value. That
• 18:28
  Speaker 4: was what I was wondering. Makes sense. Yeah, maybe it's
• 18:31
  Speaker 4: just so old it doesn't really play well. It's probably
• 18:33
  Speaker 4: out of tune. Probably super out of tune. I mean,
• 18:36
  Speaker 4: you could get that tuned. Yes, you can. But sometimes
• 18:40
  Speaker 4: it's like so not well taken care of. Oh, that
• 18:44
  Speaker 4: it's a, well, if you need, yeah, I guess if
• 18:46
  Speaker 4: it's really, really old, like you get like those weird keys.
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 18:49
  Speaker 4: And whatnot. Like I have, my mom bought me an upright.
• 18:53
  Speaker 4: I mean, we have the upright, which is not tuned
• 18:54
  Speaker 4: at all. Yeah.
• 18:55
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 18:56
  Speaker 4: And she like, she got it from a frigging garage sale.
• 18:59
  Speaker 4: We got it from the street.
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 19:01
  Speaker 4: Like we got it from down the street, which is
• 19:03
  Speaker 4: so cool. That's, That's crazy.
• 19:05
  Speaker 6: Well, most people just don't sell pianos because it's so
• 19:07
  Speaker 6: hard to transport them.
• 19:08
  Speaker 4: It's true. And plus, when you transport them, you have
• 19:10
  Speaker 4: to tune them again as soon as you transport them
• 19:12
  Speaker 4: because they're so fragile.
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 19:14
  Speaker 4: Like anything, any movement, like literally just moving one like
• 19:17
  Speaker 4: side to side could bring it out of tune. That's
• 19:19
  Speaker 4: why people are like, once you put them in, you
• 19:21
  Speaker 4: don't move them.
• 19:22
  Speaker 6: It is a bummer, though, because I totally get the
• 19:24
  Speaker 6: desire to want a free piano.
• 19:26
  Speaker 4: Because I'm going to want a piano. I'm also going
• 19:28
  Speaker 4: to want a piano in my house. My grandmother told
• 19:31
  Speaker 4: me that if I let my sister keep the piano,
• 19:33
  Speaker 4: she would buy me a piano that is in better condition.
• 19:35
  Speaker 4: I am beyond grateful for this. Opie's like, I am
• 19:38
  Speaker 4: good with that.
• 19:39
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 19:40
  Speaker 9: Take the piano.
• 19:41
  Speaker 6: I'd be like, I am taking that deal. And she
• 19:44
  Speaker 6: just goes back to the sister and she's like, you're right.
• 19:46
  Speaker 4: You're right. I do want you to have this piano.
• 19:48
  Speaker 4: I'm guessing this all worked out. out then. I don't
• 19:50
  Speaker 4: know what else.
• 19:51
  Speaker 9: All is well.
• 19:52
  Speaker 4: What other problem? No, that was, you handled that well.
• 19:55
  Speaker 4: Let's see. My grandmother decided to talk to a friend
• 19:58
  Speaker 4: about this situation and they informed her that they have
• 20:00
  Speaker 4: a piano that they are trying to get rid of.
• 20:03
  Speaker 4: and the piano is in good condition. My grandmother said
• 20:05
  Speaker 4: she will pay for the cost of the piano as
• 20:07
  Speaker 4: well as the cost of moving the piano. I offered
• 20:09
  Speaker 4: to pay myself, but my grandmother said that she has
• 20:11
  Speaker 4: the money and doesn't mind paying, and to consider it
• 20:14
  Speaker 4: an apology for starting an argument between me and my sister. Overall,
• 20:18
  Speaker 4: this turned out a lot better than I expected. My
• 20:21
  Speaker 4: sister and I both get a piano, and a family
• 20:24
  Speaker 4: heirloom gets to stay in the family. Thanks for all
• 20:27
  Speaker 4: the advice on the original post. That went really well.
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 20:30
  Speaker 4: Good work. We never find those stories.
• 20:32
  Speaker 9: Sounds like music to my ears.
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. We're going to
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: read the next one.
• 20:37
  Speaker 4: My husband ran our home like a boot camp, so
• 20:40
  Speaker 4: I stepped in.
• 20:41
  Speaker 7: Ooh, tan hut.
• 20:43
  Speaker 6: My husband is a former military officer who left the
• 20:45
  Speaker 6: military after 10 years of service and went into civilian work.
• 20:49
  Speaker 6: My husband had previously expressed an interest in early exposure
• 20:52
  Speaker 6: to physical fitness and military training for our son to
• 20:55
  Speaker 6: better prepare him for life, but I said I wasn't
• 20:58
  Speaker 6: ready for that. My husband, for his credit, wanted to
• 21:00
  Speaker 6: start as early as eight for his credit, but I
• 21:03
  Speaker 6: convinced him to wait until he was a little older
• 21:05
  Speaker 6: so he had more time to grow. But I still
• 21:07
  Speaker 6: think 12 is way too early. While I have no
• 21:09
  Speaker 6: problem with the military, I had a problem with regimenting
• 21:12
  Speaker 6: our son so much. I was raised in a fairly
• 21:14
  Speaker 6: free-flowing household, and my parents never really exacted that much
• 21:18
  Speaker 6: regiment or schedule or structure in our lives and let
• 21:21
  Speaker 6: us do stuff within reason. My parents were hippies, and
• 21:23
  Speaker 6: his father was a career military officer.
• 21:26
  Speaker 4: And family was military. By the way, this comes from
• 21:28
  Speaker 4: son training program. And if you want to submit your
• 21:30
  Speaker 4: own stories, go to the r slash okay story time subreddit.
• 21:33
  Speaker 4: I'm Sophia. I'm Savannah.
• 21:34
  Speaker 9: I'm Keon.
• 21:35
  Speaker 6: And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we
• 21:37
  Speaker 6: don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do.
• 21:39
  Speaker 6: So let us know what you would do in the comments.
• 21:41
  Speaker 6: My husband has my son on an exercise, nutrition, and
• 21:45
  Speaker 6: firearms training program he came up with. My son no
• 21:48
  Speaker 6: longer has any free time outside of school, schoolwork, and
• 21:51
  Speaker 6: these programs. And my husband only allows him to see
• 21:53
  Speaker 6: his friends or have breaks on Sundays. He no longer
• 21:56
  Speaker 6: does any clubs at school or sees his friends any
• 21:59
  Speaker 6: other times than once a week on Sundays. My husband
• 22:01
  Speaker 6: picks him up at school every day. Brings him home,
• 22:04
  Speaker 6: sits about the dinner table where he does his schoolwork,
• 22:06
  Speaker 6: does an hour of exercise before eating, getting 30 minutes
• 22:08
  Speaker 6: of TV or computer games.
• 22:10
  Speaker 4: And then bed.
• 22:11
  Speaker 6: My husband makes him do 45 minutes of calisthenics and
• 22:14
  Speaker 6: running in the mornings too. My son is up at
• 22:16
  Speaker 6: 5 a.m. every day to run with his dad and
• 22:19
  Speaker 6: is in bed every night by 9 p.m.
• 22:21
  Speaker 4: The latest.
• 22:22
  Speaker 6: Saturdays, my husband takes him to the firing range where
• 22:25
  Speaker 6: he instructs him. I tried to tell my husband to
• 22:27
  Speaker 6: wait until my son was older. especially for the firearms
• 22:30
  Speaker 6: but my husband basically said no and took him anyway
• 22:32
  Speaker 6: i don't think it's healthy for a 12 year old
• 22:34
  Speaker 6: to be so regimented or exposed to pew pews but
• 22:37
  Speaker 6: i don't know how to bring up my concerns with
• 22:39
  Speaker 6: my husband my son complains a little bit about the
• 22:42
  Speaker 6: exercise and the wake up lights out time but seems
• 22:45
  Speaker 6: fine with everything else is this healthy for my son
• 22:47
  Speaker 6: do i try and do anything I tried talking with
• 22:49
  Speaker 6: my husband about it, but he shut me out and
• 22:51
  Speaker 6: said it's for his own good and his son needs
• 22:53
  Speaker 6: to be ready to face the world and its problems.
• 22:56
  Speaker 6: And I don't know how to effectively bring up my
• 22:58
  Speaker 6: concerns about it. Oh boy, we got an update, folks.
• 23:01
  Speaker 6: I mean, do you feel like you can't bring it up? Like,
• 23:03
  Speaker 6: is he going to like do something? You know, is
• 23:05
  Speaker 6: he going to be like, all right, son, sicker.
• 23:08
  Speaker 4: Like, has he secretly been plotting against you or something? Like,
• 23:11
  Speaker 4: I don't know.
• 23:12
  Speaker 7: I don't know.
• 23:13
  Speaker 6: Like, the fact that y'all clearly have super different views
• 23:17
  Speaker 6: on how to parent your child, and yet you have
• 23:19
  Speaker 6: no say? Update, I talked to my husband about some
• 23:22
  Speaker 6: of the things mentioned. The first thing I said was
• 23:24
  Speaker 6: that it probably wasn't a good idea to take him
• 23:26
  Speaker 6: out of all his extracurriculars. I also said if it
• 23:28
  Speaker 6: was possible for him to join JROTC and get both
• 23:32
  Speaker 6: the social exposure and the things he wanted for my son.
• 23:34
  Speaker 6: My husband said that he was definitely going to tell
• 23:37
  Speaker 6: my son about JROTC and see when he's.
• 23:39
  Speaker 7: Old enough that he can join.
• 23:39
  Speaker 4: Apparently, you need to be in the ninth grade for
• 23:41
  Speaker 4: JROTC at the minimum. Well, I mean, that's also crazy, but.
• 23:44
  Speaker 6: At least even the JROTC realizes maybe we shouldn't put.
• 23:47
  Speaker 4: 12-year-olds in the middle. Yeah, that's good.
• 23:51
  Speaker 6: And my son isn't in the ninth grade for another
• 23:53
  Speaker 6: two years. He's doing a summer school type program right
• 23:56
  Speaker 6: now so he can take some better classes next year
• 23:58
  Speaker 6: and will be in the seventh grade this school year.
• 24:00
  Speaker 6: My husband agreed to relax on the physical stuff from
• 24:02
  Speaker 6: five days a week to three and letting him sleep
• 24:05
  Speaker 6: in on Tuesday and Thursday before school and letting him
• 24:07
  Speaker 6: have extracurriculars back on those days.
• 24:10
  Speaker 4: Awesome.
• 24:10
  Speaker 6: At least we've got a little bit back. Our son
• 24:12
  Speaker 6: used to be part of an electronics club on campus
• 24:15
  Speaker 6: that met on those days.
• 24:16
  Speaker 4: So he'll be back to that.
• 24:17
  Speaker 6: My husband also agreed to let him do what he
• 24:19
  Speaker 6: wants on those days with his free time after finishing
• 24:21
  Speaker 6: his homework and dinner. I talked to her son at
• 24:23
  Speaker 6: the same time if he had any thoughts, and he
• 24:24
  Speaker 6: said he liked being with hubby and didn't really mind
• 24:27
  Speaker 6: spending the time and learning from him. And he was
• 24:29
  Speaker 6: really interested in doing the JROTC thing when he was
• 24:31
  Speaker 6: in 9th grade. I talked to both of them about
• 24:33
  Speaker 6: Saturdays and maybe asked if on a purely financial perspective,
• 24:36
  Speaker 6: ammunition is expensive, if they could cut back one or
• 24:39
  Speaker 6: two weekends a month, and they said sure. My husband
• 24:41
  Speaker 6: said that son could do what he wants on Saturdays
• 24:43
  Speaker 6: and Sundays as long as he's home before 9pm. This
• 24:46
  Speaker 6: does seem like a good conference.
• 24:47
  Speaker 4: I think so, too. I think maybe he didn't realize
• 24:50
  Speaker 4: that he was going too hard on him. And, you know,
• 24:52
  Speaker 4: he's not like the son is insane. Yeah. You know, hey, dad,
• 24:55
  Speaker 4: maybe this is a lot, you know, because he wants
• 24:58
  Speaker 4: to impress his dad. And also that's how they bond.
• 25:01
  Speaker 8: That's, you know, pretty sure any time he talks up,
• 25:04
  Speaker 8: the dad will take it as like or he will
• 25:06
  Speaker 8: take it as like him talking back.
• 25:07
  Speaker 6: Yeah that's what i was worried about i do appreciate
• 25:09
  Speaker 6: that he's listened and he's i i think saturday sunday
• 25:12
  Speaker 6: reasonable i think he's got more free time i don't
• 25:15
  Speaker 6: think it's a bad thing for him to say like
• 25:17
  Speaker 6: let's do some workouts but stuff.
• 25:19
  Speaker 4: Like i think 12 year olds should exercise.
• 25:21
  Speaker 6: I talked to her son alone if he had any
• 25:23
  Speaker 6: thoughts about what he wanted to maybe do when he
• 25:24
  Speaker 6: was older to see inside his head and he said
• 25:26
  Speaker 6: that he liked the idea of serving but he really
• 25:28
  Speaker 6: likes engineering and computers my husband exposed him to that
• 25:32
  Speaker 6: too i guess My husband does a lot of DIY
• 25:34
  Speaker 6: stuff around our house and little projects here and there
• 25:36
  Speaker 6: if he has free time. He said that maybe he
• 25:38
  Speaker 6: liked the idea of working with the Army Corps of
• 25:40
  Speaker 6: Engineers in the future or maybe trying to find volunteering
• 25:43
  Speaker 6: around that. I mentioned that to my husband and he
• 25:45
  Speaker 6: said he'd see if he could do something near us
• 25:46
  Speaker 6: with them. I guess they did a presentation as part
• 25:48
  Speaker 6: of his summer school program and he liked what they
• 25:51
  Speaker 6: talked about and about university and schooling. He definitely wants
• 25:54
  Speaker 6: to go to university, so that's good. All in all,
• 25:56
  Speaker 6: my husband was reasonable. Met me on what I said
• 25:58
  Speaker 6: and my son seemed happy with what we came up
• 26:00
  Speaker 6: with and talked about.
• 26:01
  Speaker 4: All right, that's positive. Yeah, that's positive. So I think
• 26:04
  Speaker 4: all in all, it was just let's communicate on what
• 26:06
  Speaker 4: we want instead of just having you kind of run
• 26:09
  Speaker 4: the household like a base camp. Yeah, that's too much,
• 26:12
  Speaker 4: especially for a kid.
• 26:13
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I hope because I think there could come a
• 26:16
  Speaker 6: day where this kid is not 12 because I remember
• 26:18
  Speaker 6: when I was 12 and I wanted to be a
• 26:19
  Speaker 6: veterinarian and that was all I wanted to do. And
• 26:22
  Speaker 6: if my parents had been like, you have to be
• 26:24
  Speaker 6: a veterinarian, you can't be an actor, that would kind
• 26:27
  Speaker 6: of push me away from them. So I hope that
• 26:29
  Speaker 6: There doesn't come a time where this kid is like,
• 26:31
  Speaker 6: I want to do something else.
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. We're going to
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: read the next one.
• 26:35
  Speaker 4: My mother-in-law's family talked behind her back, so I exposed them.
• 26:39
  Speaker 6: Hey, say it to my face. So recently, I had
• 26:42
  Speaker 6: to defend my mother-in-law against her own siblings. My in-laws
• 26:45
  Speaker 6: just celebrated a big milestone in their marriage. They've been
• 26:48
  Speaker 6: together for 35 years. They threw a little anniversary party
• 26:52
  Speaker 6: and invited all their siblings. My father-in-law only has two
• 26:55
  Speaker 6: sisters and his mother, and my mother-in-law has 10 brothers
• 26:58
  Speaker 6: and sisters.
• 26:58
  Speaker 4: She invited all of them to come, and they did.
• 27:01
  Speaker 6: Maybe two or three of them didn't come because some
• 27:04
  Speaker 6: are sick or have since passed. While we were all
• 27:06
  Speaker 6: sitting there, my mother-in-law got up to change my son's
• 27:09
  Speaker 6: diaper inside the house. We were all outside in the backyard.
• 27:12
  Speaker 6: I don't think they realized that I understood Spanish and
• 27:14
  Speaker 6: spoke it and wrote it. I'm Mexican-American and I have
• 27:17
  Speaker 6: very much European features. I do have a bit of
• 27:19
  Speaker 6: indigenous in me, but with the way I styled my
• 27:22
  Speaker 6: hair and my makeup, I don't look African. By the way,
• 27:23
  Speaker 6: this comes from HistoricalLeave775, and if you want to submit
• 27:27
  Speaker 6: your own stories, go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit.
• 27:30
  Speaker 4: I'm Sophia. I'm Savannah.
• 27:32
  Speaker 9: I'm Keon.
• 27:32
  Speaker 6: And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we
• 27:34
  Speaker 6: don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do.
• 27:37
  Speaker 6: So let us know what you would do in the comments.
• 27:38
  Speaker 6: Once she got up and they confirmed that she was inside,
• 27:41
  Speaker 6: they started talking bad about her.
• 27:43
  Speaker 4: I started to get upset.
• 27:44
  Speaker 6: They were speaking about how she is as a mother,
• 27:46
  Speaker 6: a grandmother.
• 27:48
  Speaker 4: And a mother-in-law.
• 27:49
  Speaker 6: I turned to my husband and I texted him what
• 27:51
  Speaker 6: was going on. He and his father said that it
• 27:52
  Speaker 6: was okay for me to say something, which I did.
• 27:55
  Speaker 6: Once I started speaking in Spanish, they were stunned. And
• 27:58
  Speaker 6: they pretty much realized they had just dug themselves into
• 28:01
  Speaker 6: their own grave. My brother-in-law had been hearing everything as
• 28:05
  Speaker 6: well and they were okay with me saying something. Until
• 28:07
  Speaker 6: my mother-in-law came out and realized they were all trying
• 28:10
  Speaker 6: to fight with me. At this point, I felt like
• 28:12
  Speaker 6: they had all burnt their own brain cells just trying
• 28:14
  Speaker 6: to argue with me. Nothing was working and I was
• 28:17
  Speaker 6: winning that battle. My mother-in-law said that she could have
• 28:19
  Speaker 6: handled it if we had just told her. we all
• 28:21
  Speaker 6: know that if we had allowed her to handle it
• 28:23
  Speaker 6: she would have allowed them to all run her over
• 28:25
  Speaker 6: she never defends herself now i'm starting to feel like
• 28:28
  Speaker 6: maybe i should have just allowed her to handle it
• 28:30
  Speaker 6: since they're siblings so am i the a-hole no.
• 28:32
  Speaker 4: You stood up for something that you believe in you're
• 28:35
  Speaker 4: never the a-hole yeah but no yeah unless it's like
• 28:38
  Speaker 4: something that's not good yeah yeah i understand that.
• 28:41
  Speaker 6: Doing something terrible but i think you got permission from
• 28:44
  Speaker 6: brother-in-law yeah they're.
• 28:45
  Speaker 4: Talking crap and you got the permission and they're like
• 28:48
  Speaker 4: yeah get them get them they said sicker yeah get
• 28:52
  Speaker 4: on them and opie did and i think that's it
• 28:55
  Speaker 4: sounds like your mother-in-law was you know it's kind of
• 28:57
  Speaker 4: a thing of like hey you know like you don't
• 28:59
  Speaker 4: have to do that appreciate it you don't have to
• 29:01
  Speaker 4: though i have a bit of an update and i
• 29:02
  Speaker 4: also want to speak about how our little family dynamic
• 29:04
  Speaker 4: works i have not fully met my husband's family and
• 29:07
  Speaker 4: i really haven't had a chance to sit there and
• 29:09
  Speaker 4: speak to.
• 29:09
  Speaker 6: Them these last couple of years nor does my mother-in-law
• 29:12
  Speaker 6: really speak too much to her sisters or brothers. This
• 29:15
  Speaker 6: last get-together was the first time they actually came to
• 29:18
  Speaker 6: celebrate anything for her, because they all live outside of
• 29:21
  Speaker 6: the country, and it's very expensive and hard to get
• 29:23
  Speaker 6: a visa to enter into the U.S.
• 29:25
  Speaker 4: From Mexico. Did her partner, like, know that this was happening? Like,
• 29:28
  Speaker 4: because it seems like, you know, like, he's like, oh, yeah, like,
• 29:31
  Speaker 4: you can say something. They were all in the room.
• 29:34
  Speaker 4: I don't know why. Yeah, why they weren't saying anything.
• 29:36
  Speaker 4: That's why I think it's, like, kind of weird, and
• 29:38
  Speaker 4: I think that they didn't want to be the bad
• 29:41
  Speaker 4: guys and they were fine with op being the bad
• 29:44
  Speaker 4: guy yeah that is super weird you're definitely not the
• 29:46
  Speaker 4: a-hole i thought of here an icu.
• 29:50
  Speaker 6: Perhaps i don't know But we got a little bit left.
• 29:53
  Speaker 6: My mother-in-law is only in contact with maybe two of
• 29:56
  Speaker 6: her sisters. That day they didn't come because, like I said,
• 29:59
  Speaker 6: everything's very expensive right now to travel. So yes, I
• 30:01
  Speaker 6: have not met all of my husband's aunts and uncles.
• 30:04
  Speaker 6: I do not have them on Facebook. I don't allow
• 30:06
  Speaker 6: my mother-in-law to post anything about me on Facebook. And
• 30:08
  Speaker 6: I've asked her to refrain from speaking about me to
• 30:11
  Speaker 6: her family just with the knowledge of them being so
• 30:13
  Speaker 6: cruel to her.
• 30:14
  Speaker 4: Low-key, a lot.
• 30:15
  Speaker 6: The Facebook thing, sure. But to be like, don't even
• 30:17
  Speaker 6: tell your family about me. I don't even want them
• 30:20
  Speaker 6: to know anything about me. I don't want them to
• 30:21
  Speaker 6: know I exist.
• 30:22
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know. This is weird.
• 30:24
  Speaker 6: And honestly, they didn't even know I was married to
• 30:26
  Speaker 6: her nephew. That's how bad they don't know each other anymore.
• 30:28
  Speaker 6: I mean, is that because you said don't tell them
• 30:30
  Speaker 6: about me or because... I don't know.
• 30:32
  Speaker 9: It's just a family disconnect. Who knows?
• 30:33
  Speaker 6: They were truly surprised that he was married to somebody.
• 30:36
  Speaker 6: And honestly, they were very surprised that we also have
• 30:38
  Speaker 6: a child.
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: Dang.
• 30:39
  Speaker 6: Because like I said, he had not spoken to them
• 30:41
  Speaker 6: in over 10 years. They had no clue who I was.
• 30:45
  Speaker 4: That's it. Well, that seems like a whole separate issue.
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 30:48
  Speaker 8: Maybe.
• 30:48
  Speaker 4: I don't know. Just maybe next time you talk crap,
• 30:52
  Speaker 4: you don't do it where you don't want anyone to
• 30:54
  Speaker 4: hear it.
• 30:54
  Speaker 9: Yeah.
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: Truthfully.
• 30:56
  Speaker 9: Speak it in your own language. Make your own language
• 30:59
  Speaker 9: to talk crap in.
• 30:59
  Speaker 4: Speak it in your own language. Like a little bat
• 31:02
  Speaker 4: of an eyelash. Little, what is this? Eyebrows up. Little oink.
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. We're going to
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: read the next one.
• 31:10
  Speaker 3: Hey, this is Riley, the new Californian here. We're going
• 31:13
  Speaker 3: to get back to these stories, but here's three minutes
• 31:15
  Speaker 3: of ads from our sponsors.
• 31:17
  Speaker 6: My husband and mother confessed their affair and asked me.
• 31:20
  Speaker 4: To accept it.
• 31:21
  Speaker 6: Your who? I, 21 female, have been married to my husband,
• 31:24
  Speaker 6: 33 male, for a year and three months now. My mother,
• 31:27
  Speaker 6: 40 female, has always had a soft spot for him,
• 31:31
  Speaker 6: which I appreciated. When she first met him, she told
• 31:33
  Speaker 6: me I was so lucky to have an amazing person
• 31:36
  Speaker 6: in my life. The two of them always got along fine,
• 31:38
  Speaker 6: which I figured was just from their closeness and age. However,
• 31:42
  Speaker 6: during our wedding, I noticed weird behavior from her. On
• 31:45
  Speaker 6: my wedding day, she told me she wished she was
• 31:47
  Speaker 6: the one in the gown, referring to my dress. When
• 31:49
  Speaker 6: I asked what she meant, she just laughed and said,
• 31:52
  Speaker 6: She'd had too much to drink. She also suggested she
• 31:55
  Speaker 6: and my husband have a dance together. I laugh because
• 31:58
  Speaker 6: I thought it was a joke, but given everything that's happened,
• 32:01
  Speaker 6: it clearly wasn't. Further down the line, she started asking
• 32:04
  Speaker 6: me overly personal, inappropriate questions about my marriage. I told
• 32:08
  Speaker 6: her I wasn't comfortable. And she said my aunt was curious.
• 32:11
  Speaker 6: She also began asking my husband strange, invasive questions that
• 32:15
  Speaker 6: made me uncomfortable. My suspicion grew over the last three months.
• 32:19
  Speaker 6: My husband told me my mom had asked him to
• 32:21
  Speaker 6: renovate her kitchen as he works in construction and that
• 32:24
  Speaker 6: he'd be there after work Monday through Wednesday. When I
• 32:27
  Speaker 6: offered to join him, he said it would be boring
• 32:28
  Speaker 6: for me. When I asked my mom if I should come, she.
• 32:31
  Speaker 4: Said I was being a nagging wife for asking.
• 32:33
  Speaker 6: By the way, this comes from Nikki1296, and if you
• 32:36
  Speaker 6: want to submit your own stories, go to the r
• 32:38
  Speaker 6: slash showcase story time subreddit.
• 32:39
  Speaker 4: I'm Sophia.
• 32:40
  Speaker 7: I'm Dakota.
• 32:41
  Speaker 9: I'm Keon.
• 32:42
  Speaker 4: And we're here to give.
• 32:43
  Speaker 6: Some good advice, goofily, and if you've got advice, put
• 32:45
  Speaker 6: it down below. But we got more story. After he
• 32:48
  Speaker 6: started visiting, he was never interested in spending time with
• 32:51
  Speaker 6: me when he got home. My suspicions grew further when
• 32:53
  Speaker 6: I visited my mom's place and the kitchen looked exactly
• 32:57
  Speaker 6: the same as before. When I confronted them, they said
• 32:59
  Speaker 6: they were still just prepping. In that moment, I knew
• 33:02
  Speaker 6: something was wrong. I left work early one day and
• 33:04
  Speaker 6: went by my mom's place to see what was happening.
• 33:07
  Speaker 6: Her place has a lot of windows and you can
• 33:08
  Speaker 6: see nearly every room if you wander around. When I
• 33:11
  Speaker 6: got to the study's window, that's when I saw my
• 33:14
  Speaker 6: husband and mother together. I screamed and cried. When they
• 33:17
  Speaker 6: saw me, my mom looked down in disbelief while my
• 33:20
  Speaker 6: husband ran out of the room.
• 33:21
  Speaker 9: Your mom was screaming and crying, too.
• 33:23
  Speaker 4: Oh, no. Okay, hon. That's terrible. And it's, I mean,
• 33:29
  Speaker 4: it's probably right.
• 33:30
  Speaker 9: Am I wrong?
• 33:31
  Speaker 10: Yes, you are wrong, because her terrible husband is a
• 33:35
  Speaker 10: bad lover.
• 33:36
  Speaker 6: I ran to my car and drove off, hyperventilating. When
• 33:39
  Speaker 6: I got home, I packed some clothes and essentials, then
• 33:42
  Speaker 6: drove to an empty car park and sat there for
• 33:44
  Speaker 6: over four hours, just crying. I eventually returned home, waiting
• 33:48
  Speaker 6: to confront him, but he wasn't there, and there was
• 33:50
  Speaker 6: no sign he had been. I figured he'd stay somewhere
• 33:53
  Speaker 6: to give me space. When I woke up, I wasn't
• 33:56
  Speaker 6: ready to talk to him, so I called my aunt instead.
• 33:58
  Speaker 6: She told me he stayed at my mother's house to
• 34:00
  Speaker 6: be there for her. My mouth dropped and I couldn't
• 34:03
  Speaker 6: say a word. I asked if she could set up
• 34:05
  Speaker 6: a meeting with me, my husband, and my mother, and
• 34:08
  Speaker 6: she said she'd take me there. In the car, my
• 34:10
  Speaker 6: aunt admitted my mother had told her about the affair
• 34:13
  Speaker 6: and that she told her to stop. My mother lied
• 34:15
  Speaker 6: and said she had then yesterday, right after I caught them,
• 34:19
  Speaker 6: confessed everything. she'd still been seeing him i told my
• 34:22
  Speaker 6: aunt i was disappointed she hadn't told me and that
• 34:24
  Speaker 6: she'd lost my trust she seemed to understand when we
• 34:27
  Speaker 6: got to the house my husband had his arm around
• 34:29
  Speaker 6: my mother he's like well we've been caught so it
• 34:32
  Speaker 6: actually doesn't.
• 34:32
  Speaker 10: Matter anymore now it's real I'm not exaggerating when I
• 34:36
  Speaker 10: say I would spend the rest of my life making
• 34:38
  Speaker 10: sure these people never, ever live in comfort.
• 34:41
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm never seeing them ever again. Keep in mind,
• 34:44
  Speaker 6: I'd caught them a day before. My mother started crying
• 34:47
  Speaker 6: the moment she saw me and hugged him, which only
• 34:50
  Speaker 6: aggravated me. To keep this short, they told me.
• 34:52
  Speaker 4: They wanted to be together and hoped one.
• 34:54
  Speaker 6: Day I'd accept them. I couldn't feel anything, so I
• 34:57
  Speaker 6: just started laughing in shock. Even my aunt told my
• 35:00
  Speaker 6: mom she was being ridiculous. They claimed they'd been in
• 35:02
  Speaker 6: love for a year.
• 35:04
  Speaker 7: You've been together for a year and three months.
• 35:06
  Speaker 9: Yeah, let's do some math here.
• 35:07
  Speaker 4: So three months after your wedding, they fell in love.
• 35:09
  Speaker 4: Why did he marry you?
• 35:11
  Speaker 7: Like the rest of my life will be spent.
• 35:14
  Speaker 10: Making sure these two people are miserable. And I never
• 35:18
  Speaker 10: think that that's a good idea. That's the only thing you.
• 35:20
  Speaker 3: Can do here though.
• 35:22
  Speaker 6: And that my mother could see herself starting a family
• 35:24
  Speaker 6: with him. I sat in silence while my mom pleaded
• 35:26
  Speaker 6: with me to say something.
• 35:28
  Speaker 4: I couldn't.
• 35:28
  Speaker 6: I asked my aunt to take me home and she
• 35:31
  Speaker 6: got me out of the car immediately. As soon as
• 35:34
  Speaker 6: I got in the car, I started bawling. She offered
• 35:36
  Speaker 6: to let me stay with her, but I just wanted
• 35:38
  Speaker 6: to be alone. It's been a week and I've been
• 35:40
  Speaker 6: home alone. My mother and I have always had problems
• 35:43
  Speaker 6: and she's always blamed me for my father's passing. So
• 35:46
  Speaker 6: in a way, I think this is her way of
• 35:48
  Speaker 6: getting back at me. In what way would you?
• 35:50
  Speaker 7: How?
• 35:51
  Speaker 4: How?
• 35:51
  Speaker 7: Pushed him in front of a train.
• 35:53
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Oh, he pushed him in front of a train.
• 35:55
  Speaker 6: I'm honestly not sure what's next for me. My husband
• 35:57
  Speaker 6: and I had agreed I'd be a stay-at-home mom, which
• 36:00
  Speaker 6: is what I wanted. I'm not great with legal matters
• 36:02
  Speaker 6: and have no idea what to do from here, so
• 36:04
  Speaker 6: any advice on that would be great. I'm sorry this
• 36:07
  Speaker 6: is so long. I would never have turned to social
• 36:09
  Speaker 6: media in the past, but I didn't have anyone else
• 36:11
  Speaker 6: to turn to. Any advice or thoughts would be appreciated.
• 36:14
  Speaker 6: And we have an update five days later, but what
• 36:16
  Speaker 6: do you think?
• 36:17
  Speaker 10: I think the coyote piss super soaker is the apex
• 36:21
  Speaker 10: of my advice for you, honestly. Just spray that on
• 36:24
  Speaker 10: their car, spray that on the door, spray it on
• 36:27
  Speaker 10: the porch, spray it in the back.
• 36:29
  Speaker 7: Spray it in the front.
• 36:30
  Speaker 4: Spray it on a train.
• 36:31
  Speaker 10: And do it in a way where you can't get
• 36:32
  Speaker 10: caught because it probably isn't legal.
• 36:35
  Speaker 9: I don't know.
• 36:35
  Speaker 8: My first step is go to the men in black.
• 36:37
  Speaker 8: Be like, hey, erase my brain because I can't comprehend this.
• 36:41
  Speaker 9: This is too much.
• 36:42
  Speaker 7: Eternal sunshine.
• 36:43
  Speaker 6: A bit more context first. I don't fully trust my aunt.
• 36:46
  Speaker 6: She and my mom are extremely close and have only
• 36:49
  Speaker 6: ever really had each other, so she'll always put my
• 36:51
  Speaker 6: mom's interests first. She also has a lot on her plate,
• 36:54
  Speaker 6: so staying with her was never really an option. I'm
• 36:56
  Speaker 6: not going to college just for the sake of it.
• 36:59
  Speaker 6: I want to be a mom, but I'll look for
• 37:00
  Speaker 6: a job in the meantime since the flower shop won't
• 37:03
  Speaker 6: be sustainable. I think I've actually lost that job since
• 37:06
  Speaker 6: I haven't shown up for three shifts and have been
• 37:08
  Speaker 6: dodging their calls. Well, pick up the call. Pick up
• 37:11
  Speaker 6: the call and tell them what's going on and say
• 37:13
  Speaker 6: you need a second.
• 37:14
  Speaker 7: Get a bullhorn or an air horn, pick up the call,
• 37:17
  Speaker 7: and go.
• 37:20
  Speaker 5: Right into the mouthpiece.
• 37:22
  Speaker 4: Now to the update.
• 37:23
  Speaker 6: The night after I posted here, my husband came banging
• 37:26
  Speaker 6: on our door crying, saying he'd made a mistake. He
• 37:29
  Speaker 6: insisted my mother had been blackmailing him into being with her,
• 37:32
  Speaker 6: that it was only supposed to be a hookup, and
• 37:34
  Speaker 6: that he instantly regretted it. He showed me text where
• 37:37
  Speaker 6: she told him to come over, threatening to tell me
• 37:39
  Speaker 6: about the affair if he refused.
• 37:40
  Speaker 7: He went, no, no, don't do that.
• 37:41
  Speaker 6: He said she was threatening to tell you about the
• 37:43
  Speaker 6: affair that we were having if I didn't come over
• 37:45
  Speaker 6: all the time and have the affair that she was
• 37:47
  Speaker 6: threatening to tell you about.
• 37:49
  Speaker 9: She was going to twist my arm.
• 37:50
  Speaker 4: Oh, no. But you were already having the affair, buddy.
• 37:53
  Speaker 6: He said he wanted us to be together again and
• 37:55
  Speaker 6: that he'd do anything. I told him I needed space
• 37:58
  Speaker 6: and that he needed to leave. He got upset and
• 38:00
  Speaker 6: I started to feel uneasy, so I called his friend
• 38:03
  Speaker 6: who came and took him back to his place to
• 38:04
  Speaker 6: calm down. The next morning, I woke up to him
• 38:07
  Speaker 6: cooking my favorite breakfast in our kitchen. He said he
• 38:09
  Speaker 6: wanted to surprise me with something he knew I loved.
• 38:12
  Speaker 6: I told him I appreciated it, but he needed to leave,
• 38:14
  Speaker 6: and that.
• 38:15
  Speaker 4: If I were to forgive him, it would take a
• 38:17
  Speaker 4: long time.
• 38:18
  Speaker 6: He started crying and trying to manipulate me, so I
• 38:21
  Speaker 6: told him to get out, pushed him out, and locked
• 38:23
  Speaker 6: the door. Later that day, my mother came and screamed
• 38:26
  Speaker 6: outside my door that she knew my.
• 38:28
  Speaker 4: Husband was there, and that I was keeping them apart.
• 38:31
  Speaker 6: I told her to leave, or I'd call the cops,
• 38:34
  Speaker 6: and she did. A couple hours later, she came back
• 38:36
  Speaker 6: and tried to get in, but the moment she heard
• 38:38
  Speaker 6: me on the phone with the police, she drove off.
• 38:40
  Speaker 6: I started to feel unsafe and I didn't have anywhere
• 38:43
  Speaker 6: to go so I grabbed some clothes and I've been
• 38:45
  Speaker 6: living in my car since. It's been sustainable for a
• 38:48
  Speaker 6: day or so but obviously I can't do this forever.
• 38:51
  Speaker 6: My husband messaged saying he'd come by the house and
• 38:53
  Speaker 6: was worried I hadn't returned. I told him he shouldn't
• 38:56
  Speaker 6: be there but that I was staying in my car
• 38:58
  Speaker 6: until I figured out what I wanted. He sent crying
• 39:00
  Speaker 6: voice messages saying I was torturing myself and that if
• 39:04
  Speaker 6: we were together he'd take care of me. I haven't
• 39:06
  Speaker 6: replied directly but I sent him a quick I'm okay,
• 39:09
  Speaker 6: every few hours, so he doesn't completely panic. My aunt
• 39:12
  Speaker 6: hasn't really contacted me since I cried in her car,
• 39:15
  Speaker 6: but as I said, she has a lot on her plate.
• 39:17
  Speaker 4: That's the update.
• 39:18
  Speaker 6: I'm in a car with no real direction, but thank
• 39:20
  Speaker 6: you for all the legal advice. I have a doctor's
• 39:22
  Speaker 6: appointment tomorrow, so fingers crossed.
• 39:25
  Speaker 4: Comment one.
• 39:26
  Speaker 6: Sorry you're going through this. Sounds impossible to get through,
• 39:28
  Speaker 6: but it will make you stronger.
• 39:30
  Speaker 4: Get a lawyer. Get counseling. Seek out support. OP says....
• 39:36
  Speaker 6: Very Americanized. She rejected her family's traditional expectations years ago,
• 39:41
  Speaker 6: and they've never really gotten along since. Reply says, I'd
• 39:44
  Speaker 6: tell her entire family. Play nice with your husband, get
• 39:47
  Speaker 6: the text messages, and forward them to everyone. LOL says OP,
• 39:50
  Speaker 6: they wouldn't care at this point. They already think she's
• 39:53
  Speaker 6: a floozy, and they don't even like me.
• 39:54
  Speaker 4: Haha.
• 39:55
  Speaker 6: And we do have a second update six days later.
• 39:58
  Speaker 6: I wonder if they don't like you because they think
• 40:00
  Speaker 6: that you're like your mom.
• 40:01
  Speaker 7: That could be.
• 40:03
  Speaker 4: And maybe we could tell them, hey guys.
• 40:05
  Speaker 10: on a very real level, bro, get out, leave every
• 40:09
  Speaker 10: single person that you've ever known behind.
• 40:12
  Speaker 7: You need to start completely over.
• 40:15
  Speaker 10: It's not an exaggeration that that's one of the craziest
• 40:19
  Speaker 10: things that could probably ever happen to anybody on a
• 40:22
  Speaker 10: like person to person relationship level. You're 12 years older
• 40:27
  Speaker 10: than you husband starts having an affair with your 40
• 40:30
  Speaker 10: year old mom that gave birth to you when she
• 40:32
  Speaker 10: was 18. And like now she's at your door screaming
• 40:36
  Speaker 10: that you're keeping him from her. Like just move as
• 40:40
  Speaker 10: far away as possible and start a brand new existence.
• 40:43
  Speaker 10: And it'll be the most liberating thing ever. I agree.
• 40:46
  Speaker 6: I'm glad to say I'm not in a car anymore
• 40:48
  Speaker 6: and I'm now living in a women's shelter. An hour
• 40:50
  Speaker 6: after my last update, a man started following my car.
• 40:53
  Speaker 4: Scary.
• 40:53
  Speaker 6: Weaving in and out of no through roads behind me
• 40:56
  Speaker 6: for about 35 to 40 minutes. It scared me, so
• 41:00
  Speaker 6: I followed your advice and went to a shelter. I
• 41:02
  Speaker 6: explained I didn't feel safe at home because my husband
• 41:05
  Speaker 6: and mother had both been pestering me. The staff were
• 41:08
  Speaker 6: really nurturing and settling me in, and a lot of
• 41:10
  Speaker 6: the women introduced themselves. I've never been in such a
• 41:13
  Speaker 6: supportive environment. It might sound strange to say about a shelter,
• 41:17
  Speaker 6: but I don't want to leave. I've made a lot
• 41:18
  Speaker 6: of friends in the last few days and feel genuine.
• 41:21
  Speaker 6: I made one really good friend who's the exact same
• 41:24
  Speaker 6: age as me, and we've even talked about finding a
• 41:26
  Speaker 6: place to live together, which has made me excited. I've
• 41:28
  Speaker 6: met a lot of people from different backgrounds and situations
• 41:31
  Speaker 6: that have really opened my world. As for my husband,
• 41:34
  Speaker 6: he recently sent a text that made me certain I
• 41:37
  Speaker 6: never want to see him again. He said some really
• 41:40
  Speaker 6: cruel things, then admitted he'd been seeing other women the
• 41:43
  Speaker 6: whole time and that they provided more for him than
• 41:46
  Speaker 6: I ever could. I simply told him to go ruin
• 41:49
  Speaker 6: one of their lives instead. I won't act tough. I
• 41:52
  Speaker 6: feel completely hurt and manipulated.
• 41:54
  Speaker 4: I really thought we had something special.
• 41:56
  Speaker 6: The friends I've made at the shelter were there for
• 41:58
  Speaker 6: me through it. My mom recently posted a photo of
• 42:00
  Speaker 6: herself with a caption, love hurts. I replied with laughing
• 42:03
  Speaker 6: emojis since it's clear she's looking for attention and sympathy.
• 42:06
  Speaker 6: She messaged back saying she was allowed to mourn her
• 42:09
  Speaker 6: relationship and that I couldn't make a sacrifice for her happiness.
• 42:13
  Speaker 6: I sent the laughing emoji again. She then posted our
• 42:15
  Speaker 6: interaction on her story with a quote about kids hurting
• 42:18
  Speaker 6: their parents. So I blocked her. My aunt has gone
• 42:21
  Speaker 6: radio silent too. I tried to message her that I
• 42:23
  Speaker 6: was in a shelter in case she was worried, but
• 42:25
  Speaker 6: before I could even tell her, she said she couldn't
• 42:28
  Speaker 6: talk because she was at brunch and never followed up.
• 42:31
  Speaker 6: I also reached out to my grandma in Tennessee on
• 42:33
  Speaker 6: my dad's side. I hadn't seen her since I was 15,
• 42:36
  Speaker 6: but I asked if I could stay and explained my situation.
• 42:39
  Speaker 6: She said I could come for a week, but after
• 42:41
  Speaker 6: that I'd be on my own since she already had
• 42:42
  Speaker 6: a full house. Anyway, that's the update. I'm in the
• 42:45
  Speaker 6: shelter and planning to find a place with my friend.
• 42:47
  Speaker 6: I'll figure out the legal side soon. Thank you all
• 42:50
  Speaker 6: so much for reading and I'll update if anything significant happens.
• 42:53
  Speaker 6: Significant things are happening six days later.
• 42:55
  Speaker 7: Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy,
• 42:57
  Speaker 7: oh boy.
• 42:57
  Speaker 4: Let's keep going.
• 42:58
  Speaker 2: Yay.
• 42:58
  Speaker 4: So this will be my final update.
• 43:00
  Speaker 10: Boo.
• 43:01
  Speaker 4: As I think the situation has finally come to an end. Yay.
• 43:04
  Speaker 6: And I'm in a really good place. I left off
• 43:06
  Speaker 6: in the shelter with a lot of friends. The girl
• 43:08
  Speaker 6: I was going to move in with ended up going
• 43:10
  Speaker 6: back home, so I was stuck again until I got
• 43:12
  Speaker 6: a message from my grandma. Her mother, my great-grandma, needed
• 43:15
  Speaker 6: someone to take care of her, and her brother would
• 43:17
  Speaker 6: be happy to have me stay as long as I helped.
• 43:20
  Speaker 6: I had nothing to lose, so I took it. I
• 43:22
  Speaker 6: arrived in Miami three days ago, and I've been loving it.
• 43:25
  Speaker 6: I never really knew my dad's side. He wasn't close
• 43:28
  Speaker 6: with his family, and after he passed, it was hard
• 43:30
  Speaker 6: to stay in contact. My great uncle and his wife
• 43:33
  Speaker 6: are very nice and they live in a lovely part
• 43:35
  Speaker 6: of Miami near the beach. I hadn't seen my great
• 43:37
  Speaker 6: grandma in over 10 years and she was so happy when.
• 43:41
  Speaker 4: She saw me. She mostly speaks Spanish.
• 43:43
  Speaker 6: I'll admit I said my dad was white earlier because
• 43:46
  Speaker 6: I was scared of my identity being revealed. And that
• 43:48
  Speaker 6: wasn't entirely true. My father was Cuban, born and raised
• 43:51
  Speaker 6: in Miami. My great-grandma's been teaching me Spanish, and with
• 43:55
  Speaker 6: my great-uncle translating, she's been sharing stories about my dad.
• 43:58
  Speaker 6: She told me how he'd fall asleep on her lap
• 44:00
  Speaker 6: at family gatherings and make everyone laugh, imitating her accent.
• 44:03
  Speaker 6: Seeing old photos of him as a kid made me
• 44:05
  Speaker 6: tear up. My mom never had a relationship with him,
• 44:07
  Speaker 6: which was her choice, even though they'd wanted to meet her.
• 44:10
  Speaker 6: They told me they weren't shocked by what happened, because
• 44:13
  Speaker 6: my dad had once said my mom would be unfaithful
• 44:16
  Speaker 6: to him. That made me furious. since my mom always
• 44:19
  Speaker 6: claimed my dad was her soulmate. I haven't heard from
• 44:22
  Speaker 6: my mom, but my cousin's wedding went ahead yesterday. My
• 44:25
  Speaker 6: aunt posted it on Facebook and my mom was there
• 44:28
  Speaker 6: looking completely fine in the photos. There is still no
• 44:31
  Speaker 6: word from my ex-husband, but his sister sent me a
• 44:33
  Speaker 6: text apologizing on behalf of herself and his parents.
• 44:36
  Speaker 4: So that's the end.
• 44:38
  Speaker 6: I'm in a really good place taking care of my
• 44:40
  Speaker 6: great grandma. And I'll work out what I want next
• 44:42
  Speaker 6: in the meantime. This will most likely and hopefully be
• 44:45
  Speaker 6: the final update.
• 44:46
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 44:47
  Speaker 6: I mean, like, I am really impressed by how, like,
• 44:51
  Speaker 6: quick OP, you know, got out of the house, got safe,
• 44:55
  Speaker 6: you know, in a shelter, and then contacted grandma and
• 44:58
  Speaker 6: got to, you know, Miami.
• 45:00
  Speaker 4: You know, good job.
• 45:00
  Speaker 8: It was probably one of the most traumatic things we've
• 45:03
  Speaker 8: ever read.
• 45:04
  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah.
• 45:05
  Speaker 8: Not one of the most, but it's going to stick
• 45:07
  Speaker 8: with me for a while.
• 45:08
  Speaker 7: One of the most shocking.
• 45:09
  Speaker 8: Yeah, that one, it's like, holy cow.
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. We're going to
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: read the next one.
• 45:16
  Speaker 10: My grandmother gave me the cold shoulder over a mudroom renovation.
• 45:22
  Speaker 7: Hi everybody!
• 45:23
  Speaker 10: So I, 21 female, and my husband, 24 male, and
• 45:26
  Speaker 10: our son, 7 months, are taking over my family's farmhouse.
• 45:31
  Speaker 10: It was my great-great-grandparents, my great-grandma Mary, and then my
• 45:35
  Speaker 10: mother Hillary's.
• 45:37
  Speaker 7: And now it's mine.
• 45:38
  Speaker 10: My grandma Colleen, 65 female, was raised there by her grandparents.
• 45:44
  Speaker 10: and it has been a very special thing for our family.
• 45:47
  Speaker 10: We agreed to renovate the property because of long-term neglect
• 45:51
  Speaker 10: from my mother and great-grandmother, Hillary and Mary. Well, during
• 45:54
  Speaker 10: this process, we've had to demo out some things, and
• 45:58
  Speaker 10: there are certain features we do not want to keep
• 46:00
  Speaker 10: because we're either putting an updated version in or replacing
• 46:04
  Speaker 10: it entirely. Well, my grandmother, Colleen, has been nothing short
• 46:09
  Speaker 10: of judgmental over every decision we make.
• 46:12
  Speaker 4: I think that's super fair.
• 46:14
  Speaker 6: The house that you have this super emotional attachment to
• 46:17
  Speaker 6: because you grew up in it and your mother grew
• 46:19
  Speaker 6: up in it and then you raised your, you know,
• 46:22
  Speaker 6: like it's, of course it's going to have a sentimental
• 46:26
  Speaker 6: value to you.
• 46:27
  Speaker 4: I think they could be a little bit more understanding.
• 46:29
  Speaker 5: Yes.
• 46:29
  Speaker 10: My thing that I think is still unclear at this
• 46:32
  Speaker 10: point is you say we're taking over the house. It
• 46:35
  Speaker 10: doesn't sound like these people are moving out though.
• 46:38
  Speaker 4: Do they still live there?
• 46:39
  Speaker 7: I think these people are all going to still live here.
• 46:41
  Speaker 2: Ooh.
• 46:42
  Speaker 10: The kitchen cabinet colors, the paint colors, what we're keeping
• 46:46
  Speaker 10: and not keeping, etc. And it's about almost every decision
• 46:49
  Speaker 10: we make. Mind you, we're trying to make this house
• 46:51
  Speaker 10: work for us and our family, as is the point
• 46:55
  Speaker 10: of a home. I grew up next door to this
• 46:57
  Speaker 10: farmhouse and love it just as much.
• 46:59
  Speaker 7: As she does.
• 47:00
  Speaker 10: By the way, this comes from Toasty Cauliflower.
• 47:03
  Speaker 7: If you want to submit your own stories, go to
• 47:05
  Speaker 7: our subreddit. I'm Dakota.
• 47:07
  Speaker 4: I'm Sophia.
• 47:08
  Speaker 9: And I'm Keon.
• 47:09
  Speaker 10: Well, we're here to read this story and you're here
• 47:11
  Speaker 10: to comment what you think about it.
• 47:12
  Speaker 7: Just keep the salt ready, baby, because nobody knows everything.
• 47:15
  Speaker 10: The reason I'm now choosing to post about this is
• 47:19
  Speaker 10: because she's in tears, giving me the cold shoulder and
• 47:22
  Speaker 10: intentionally puts music on in the car to keep me
• 47:25
  Speaker 10: from talking to her. My husband is in the middle
• 47:27
  Speaker 10: of demoing out the laundry room and mudroom. In the
• 47:31
  Speaker 10: mudroom slash hallway, there's this really old shelf and hooks.
• 47:35
  Speaker 7: That's it.
• 47:36
  Speaker 10: I plan to put mudroom built-ins there. But for now,
• 47:39
  Speaker 10: we want a clean slate so we.
• 47:41
  Speaker 7: Have a better idea of the space we're working with.
• 47:43
  Speaker 10: That said, my husband called and verified that we were
• 47:46
  Speaker 10: removing the shelves and hooks, and my grandma, who was
• 47:48
  Speaker 10: in the car with me, got very upset and started crying,
• 47:51
  Speaker 10: talking about how that's where her grandpa would keep his
• 47:54
  Speaker 10: jacket with his hat, etc., And I understand why she's sentimental,
• 47:57
  Speaker 10: but it's not as if I can't use those hooks
• 48:00
  Speaker 10: after the new built-ins are put in. Yeah, you don't
• 48:03
  Speaker 10: get it.
• 48:03
  Speaker 4: I don't think you get it at all.
• 48:05
  Speaker 7: You get 0% of this.
• 48:07
  Speaker 6: Your grandmother seemingly has tried to be involved in this
• 48:12
  Speaker 6: house renovation, and you kind of have ignored everything she said.
• 48:15
  Speaker 6: And then she's upset because this house that she loves
• 48:19
  Speaker 6: is changing.
• 48:19
  Speaker 9: And grew up in. And you're like, whatever.
• 48:21
  Speaker 4: You can still have them. I'll give you a little
• 48:23
  Speaker 4: box full of hooks. I don't know. I just feel
• 48:25
  Speaker 4: like there's not a level of empathy here.
• 48:27
  Speaker 9: Zero. I don't think OP has zero idea. Anyway.
• 48:31
  Speaker 4: I don't know.
• 48:32
  Speaker 10: Now I'm starting to feel guilty. But at the same time,
• 48:34
  Speaker 10: she's not the one living there anymore. I'm trying to
• 48:37
  Speaker 10: make improvements for what is going to work for my
• 48:39
  Speaker 10: growing family.
• 48:40
  Speaker 7: Am I the a-hole? And there is an update.
• 48:43
  Speaker 4: I really just.
• 48:44
  Speaker 6: Need more information about how the house got handed to OP.
• 48:48
  Speaker 4: That's what I need to know.
• 48:49
  Speaker 10: I mean, if she's not going to be living there,
• 48:50
  Speaker 10: that is fair. But at the same time, bro, if
• 48:55
  Speaker 10: there was a shelf in my house where it's like, yeah,
• 48:57
  Speaker 10: my great Yeah. I guess after your son is like older,
• 49:02
  Speaker 10: it'd be his great, great, great grandfather like used that.
• 49:06
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 49:07
  Speaker 10: Because it was the grandma's great grandfather. So it's OP's great, great.
• 49:11
  Speaker 10: And it'd be the little kid's great, great, great.
• 49:13
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 49:13
  Speaker 10: It's like, dude, my great, great, great grandfather used these hooks.
• 49:18
  Speaker 4: I will cherish them.
• 49:19
  Speaker 2: I always.
• 49:20
  Speaker 7: It's cool.
• 49:21
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I think it's really cool.
• 49:22
  Speaker 6: It feels a little bit like when people buy these incredibly.
• 49:27
  Speaker 4: cool historic houses.
• 49:29
  Speaker 6: And just completely and then just yeah completely renovated to
• 49:32
  Speaker 6: make it like modern and it ends up being really
• 49:35
  Speaker 6: ugly and tacky and yeah you know run of the
• 49:38
  Speaker 6: mill and there's no actual character left in it yeah
• 49:40
  Speaker 6: i'm wondering what he's actually.
• 49:42
  Speaker 10: Changing it to update me and my grandma had a
• 49:45
  Speaker 10: real talk the day after i posted and we agreed
• 49:48
  Speaker 10: to use the hooks in the new mudroom built-ins i
• 49:51
  Speaker 10: liked the idea and she said that would make her
• 49:53
  Speaker 10: feel better And there was a comment that had a
• 49:55
  Speaker 10: really good point. My son will be hanging his jacket
• 49:58
  Speaker 10: and hat in the same place as his great-great-great-grandpa. And
• 50:03
  Speaker 10: that truly speaks to my heart. I knew my great-great-grandparents.
• 50:07
  Speaker 10: They were both pissed away when I was very young, though.
• 50:10
  Speaker 10: I miss them both very much, but I'm hoping to
• 50:12
  Speaker 10: make them proud. I asked my great-grandma, their daughter, if
• 50:16
  Speaker 10: she thinks they would like what I was doing. And
• 50:19
  Speaker 10: she said she believes my great-great-grandpa especially would love it.
• 50:23
  Speaker 10: My great-great-grandma actually would have been a fan of a
• 50:25
  Speaker 10: white Pinterest.
• 50:26
  Speaker 7: Kitchen, according to Grandma Mary. That said, I am taking the.
• 50:29
  Speaker 10: Old shelf that was above the hooks to a woodcarver
• 50:32
  Speaker 10: and having him carve or woodburn a picture of my
• 50:35
  Speaker 10: great-great-grandparents into it and make a frame out of that
• 50:38
  Speaker 10: wood as a gift to my grandma, my mom's mom.
• 50:41
  Speaker 7: You should maybe, did you ask her?
• 50:42
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 50:43
  Speaker 7: If she would love that or hate that.
• 50:44
  Speaker 10: I originally was going to use the old paneling in
• 50:47
  Speaker 10: the dining room only to find out it was a
• 50:49
  Speaker 10: stick and peel style panel. Anyways, thank you all for
• 50:53
  Speaker 10: your amazing advice and suggestions. I feel much less alone.
• 50:57
  Speaker 10: My grandma, my mom's mom, laughed at the comment section
• 51:00
  Speaker 10: and proceeded to tell me in her words, it's not
• 51:03
  Speaker 10: that deep.
• 51:03
  Speaker 4: I mean, you were telling us she was crying.
• 51:06
  Speaker 7: It still feels like you don't get it.
• 51:08
  Speaker 4: You don't get it.
• 51:08
  Speaker 10: You're like, oh, it's not that deep to me. So
• 51:11
  Speaker 10: it makes sense. It wouldn't be that deep to anyone.
• 51:13
  Speaker 10: And anyone who doesn't feel this way is an idiot.
• 51:15
  Speaker 8: I have zero sentimental value to it. Oh, well, like
• 51:18
  Speaker 8: your grandmother's like, yeah, I carved my name in there.
• 51:20
  Speaker 8: And then my mother and then her mother carved her
• 51:23
  Speaker 8: name in there.
• 51:24
  Speaker 9: You should do that. You know, no, paint it white.
• 51:26
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. We're going to
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: read the next one.
• 51:29
  Speaker 2: Hey, it's Carly, your favorite Jersey girl here. We're going
• 51:33
  Speaker 2: to get back to the stories, but here's three minutes
• 51:35
  Speaker 2: of ads from our sponsors.
• 51:37
  Speaker 4: My mother secretly got my brother a job at the
• 51:40
  Speaker 4: pool where I work.
• 51:41
  Speaker 7: Oh, the more the merrier.
• 51:43
  Speaker 4: For context, I, 19 female, have been working at one
• 51:47
  Speaker 4: of the two neighborhood outside pool as a lifeguard for
• 51:50
  Speaker 4: three summers. My brother, 16 male, finished taking his lifeguarding
• 51:54
  Speaker 4: classes about four months ago. Since then, I've been telling
• 51:57
  Speaker 4: him to apply to different pools which he did not do.
• 52:01
  Speaker 4: Throughout these months, I've had at least 15 conversations with
• 52:04
  Speaker 4: him telling him that he needs to be applying if
• 52:07
  Speaker 4: he wants to get a job this summer. Mind you,
• 52:09
  Speaker 4: he's almost 17 in a month, and I started working
• 52:13
  Speaker 4: at freshly 15, but our parents have always had different
• 52:16
  Speaker 4: standards for us because he has ADHD. A month ago,
• 52:19
  Speaker 4: my overworked mom, seeing that he had not applied, did
• 52:23
  Speaker 4: it for him, applying to about nine polls. She had
• 52:26
  Speaker 4: a lot to deal with as she is working full-time
• 52:29
  Speaker 4: while teaching and taking classes in uni. I know, she's amazing.
• 52:32
  Speaker 4: She was taking care of his applications and told him
• 52:34
  Speaker 4: she secured him an interview, which he had to miss
• 52:38
  Speaker 4: for a class activity, which I understand. Again, I told
• 52:41
  Speaker 4: him that he needed to apply himself as I think
• 52:44
  Speaker 4: he is old enough to do it and otherwise he
• 52:46
  Speaker 4: wasn't going to be able to find a job as
• 52:48
  Speaker 4: summer started in two weeks. He applied to nothing and
• 52:51
  Speaker 4: told my mom to do it for him, which she did.
• 52:54
  Speaker 4: She applied to the pool I work at. Anna did
• 52:57
  Speaker 4: not tell me, as she knew I would be upset
• 53:00
  Speaker 4: because we had talked about it before. By the way,
• 53:03
  Speaker 4: this comes from always a bystander, and if you want
• 53:06
  Speaker 4: to submit your own stories, go to our subreddit. I'm Savannah.
• 53:09
  Speaker 4: I'm Dakota. And we're here to talk about some stuff,
• 53:12
  Speaker 4: give some advice, and your job is to put your
• 53:14
  Speaker 4: comments down in the comments. Fast forward to now, he
• 53:18
  Speaker 4: passed the interview and is supposed to be my co-worker
• 53:21
  Speaker 4: this summer. This upsets me as I feel blindsided because
• 53:25
  Speaker 4: had I known, I would have looked for another job
• 53:27
  Speaker 4: because I don't want to work with him. I am
• 53:29
  Speaker 4: pretty close with my co-workers who are all my age
• 53:32
  Speaker 4: and older. Every Wednesday and often Friday we hang out together.
• 53:35
  Speaker 4: I would feel extremely awkward around my friends and having
• 53:39
  Speaker 4: him around me. I can't really explain why but I
• 53:42
  Speaker 4: really do not want to work with him as the
• 53:44
  Speaker 4: dynamic would be weird. I have always felt responsible for
• 53:47
  Speaker 4: my brother and I do not want this extra pressure
• 53:50
  Speaker 4: during my last summer working a fun job as I
• 53:53
  Speaker 4: am in a program with scheduled internships. My whole family
• 53:56
  Speaker 4: is calling me selfish for asking my brother to find
• 53:59
  Speaker 4: another job, even if it's not necessarily a lifeguarding job.
• 54:03
  Speaker 9: I would agree.
• 54:04
  Speaker 4: It's come on.
• 54:05
  Speaker 9: It's lifeguarding.
• 54:05
  Speaker 4: Who are you talking about? She's 19. He's 16. And
• 54:08
  Speaker 4: she's like, I don't want to look after him.
• 54:10
  Speaker 7: And you don't have to. Like anytime there's like a
• 54:13
  Speaker 7: metric of I've been working for three summers.
• 54:15
  Speaker 9: It's like, shut up.
• 54:16
  Speaker 7: It's a summer job. Who cares if your brother works there?
• 54:19
  Speaker 7: It's going to work there when you're not working there, too.
• 54:21
  Speaker 4: I also proposed to quit my job and find something
• 54:23
  Speaker 4: else myself, which was also shut down by my parents
• 54:27
  Speaker 4: as I am saving money for university and only have
• 54:29
  Speaker 4: light gardening experience and they think that I won't be
• 54:31
  Speaker 4: able to find a job that pays me as much as.
• 54:35
  Speaker 10: $ 19 an hour. Hey, so did you know that you
• 54:37
  Speaker 10: can just look for a job anyway and you don't
• 54:39
  Speaker 10: have to care that your parents say that because you're 19?
• 54:42
  Speaker 4: Would i be the a-hole if i tell my parents
• 54:44
  Speaker 4: and brother not to take the job at my work
• 54:46
  Speaker 4: or else i will talk to my manager about possibly
• 54:49
  Speaker 4: not accepting him or quitting the fact that my mother
• 54:51
  Speaker 4: did not tell me until it was really too late
• 54:54
  Speaker 4: for me to find something else and that my brother
• 54:56
  Speaker 4: did not apply even though i told him to multiple
• 54:58
  Speaker 4: times is making me really upset the upset is mixed
• 55:01
  Speaker 4: with guilt as i feel responsible for my younger brother
• 55:04
  Speaker 4: so am i the a-hole there Notifications and the final update.
• 55:08
  Speaker 4: Working different shifts is not really an option. A lot
• 55:10
  Speaker 4: of comments have suggested this. The pool is generally open
• 55:14
  Speaker 4: from 11am to 7pm, plus opening slash cleaning, and there
• 55:17
  Speaker 4: is essentially just one shift. We don't have like a
• 55:20
  Speaker 4: separate morning and evening shift. There also aren't that many
• 55:23
  Speaker 4: lifeguards on staff, so if my brother works there, we're
• 55:26
  Speaker 4: going to be working together most of the time, like
• 55:28
  Speaker 4: 3-4 out of 5 weekly shifts. I would never actually
• 55:31
  Speaker 4: tell my manager not to hire my brother. I really
• 55:34
  Speaker 4: regret that last line of my post. I was frustrated
• 55:37
  Speaker 4: emotionally and honestly just ranting. After sleeping on it and
• 55:40
  Speaker 4: rereading my post, I can say that I would never
• 55:43
  Speaker 4: actually do that. And I was just speaking out of
• 55:46
  Speaker 4: frustration for an accumulation of feelings that stem from how
• 55:49
  Speaker 4: I feel like I'm carrying more than my share in
• 55:52
  Speaker 4: this family. and I feel like my brother is not
• 55:54
  Speaker 4: understanding this. That part of my post was written out
• 55:57
  Speaker 4: of frustration, not because it was something I genuinely planned
• 56:00
  Speaker 4: on doing. It isn't really possible for me to just
• 56:03
  Speaker 4: find another job now. Summer has already started and the
• 56:06
  Speaker 4: pools are open. The seasonal hirings are already done. That's
• 56:09
  Speaker 4: a big reason why I feel blindsided by the situation.
• 56:12
  Speaker 4: I talked to my brother about applying for jobs for months.
• 56:15
  Speaker 4: I reminded him repeatedly. I offered to help him. I
• 56:18
  Speaker 4: talked to my mom. about not wanting us to work
• 56:21
  Speaker 4: at the same pole. I feel like I did everything
• 56:23
  Speaker 4: in my power to prevent this situation from happening. I
• 56:25
  Speaker 4: don't think anyone was playing against me or trying to
• 56:28
  Speaker 4: hurt me. I understand that, but I do think I'm
• 56:30
  Speaker 4: allowed to feel frustrated that the exact situation I repeatedly
• 56:34
  Speaker 4: expressed concerns about happened anyway after I did all I
• 56:38
  Speaker 4: could to avoid it. When I say the dynamic would
• 56:40
  Speaker 4: be weird, I don't mean that I hate my brother.
• 56:43
  Speaker 4: People were saying that I must hate my brother, but
• 56:45
  Speaker 4: I actually love my brother a lot and feel protective
• 56:48
  Speaker 4: of him. The problem is that I've spent years feeling
• 56:50
  Speaker 4: responsible for him, even when nobody explicitly asked me to.
• 56:54
  Speaker 4: That's the role I naturally take, even if it's not
• 56:57
  Speaker 4: something I want to do. There's also another aspect of it.
• 57:00
  Speaker 4: Last summer, there was a guy who worked with us
• 57:02
  Speaker 4: who reminded me a lot of my brother. People didn't
• 57:04
  Speaker 4: bully him or anything, but they would sometimes make comments
• 57:07
  Speaker 4: or joke about his interests and personality. Whenever that happened,
• 57:10
  Speaker 4: I found myself defending him because he reminded me of
• 57:13
  Speaker 4: my brother.
• 57:13
  Speaker 7: I'm so confused how OP's brain works.
• 57:16
  Speaker 4: If those comments were being made about my actual brother,
• 57:19
  Speaker 4: I know I would have taken them much more personally.
• 57:22
  Speaker 4: I would probably get protective and defensive. I worry that
• 57:26
  Speaker 4: instead of just enjoying work, I'd constantly be worrying about
• 57:29
  Speaker 4: how he's fitting in or whether people are judging him.
• 57:31
  Speaker 7: What do you mean just enjoying work?
• 57:33
  Speaker 5: You're a lifeguard.
• 57:34
  Speaker 10: You're supposed to be constantly worrying about all the people
• 57:37
  Speaker 10: in the pool that you have.
• 57:38
  Speaker 7: To make sure aren't drowning. What are you talking about?
• 57:40
  Speaker 4: A lot of my coworkers are friends, but they're mostly
• 57:43
  Speaker 4: summer friends. We get along really well at work and
• 57:46
  Speaker 4: hang out during the summer, but I don't see most
• 57:48
  Speaker 4: of them during the rest of the year. I guess
• 57:50
  Speaker 4: part of my fear is that having my little brother
• 57:52
  Speaker 4: there changes that dynamic and puts me in a position
• 57:55
  Speaker 4: where I feel caught between him and the group. That's
• 57:57
  Speaker 4: what I meant by it being weird. Not that I
• 57:59
  Speaker 4: dislike him, but that I think I would have had
• 58:02
  Speaker 4: a hard time separating being his co-worker from being his
• 58:05
  Speaker 4: older sister. Finally, I've had some time to reflect and
• 58:09
  Speaker 4: I've come to terms with it. After making this post,
• 58:11
  Speaker 4: I talked to one of my closest friends. We've been
• 58:14
  Speaker 4: friends for almost 14 years. She works at the same pool,
• 58:17
  Speaker 4: knows the work environment, and has known my brother since
• 58:19
  Speaker 4: he was about four years old. She's someone who I
• 58:21
  Speaker 4: felt could give me good advice as she knows me,
• 58:24
  Speaker 4: my brother, and the pool. She agreed that the pool
• 58:26
  Speaker 4: environment probably isn't the most natural fit for my brother
• 58:29
  Speaker 4: and that having us work together will likely be a
• 58:31
  Speaker 4: little awkward. At the same time, she also helped me
• 58:34
  Speaker 4: work through my feelings and reminded me that while I'm
• 58:36
  Speaker 4: allowed to be frustrated, at the end of the day,
• 58:38
  Speaker 4: the situation is happening and I'm going to have to
• 58:41
  Speaker 4: accept it. And I know she's right. bit left here.
• 58:43
  Speaker 4: I'm glad you came to terms with it, OP. I
• 58:46
  Speaker 4: was afraid for a second.
• 58:47
  Speaker 7: I mean, what else was she going to do? Drain
• 58:49
  Speaker 7: the pool?
• 58:49
  Speaker 4: She helped me realize that a lot of my reaction
• 58:52
  Speaker 4: came from an accumulation of things that have nothing to
• 58:55
  Speaker 4: do with this specific job. For a long time, I've
• 58:58
  Speaker 4: felt very responsible for caring my family emotionally, and I've
• 59:02
  Speaker 4: tried to communicate that to him, as he is often
• 59:04
  Speaker 4: the source of conflicts. But I don't think it's really
• 59:06
  Speaker 4: gotten through. Whether that's because he's a teenager, because we
• 59:09
  Speaker 4: communicate differently or for some other reason I don't know
• 59:12
  Speaker 4: I can't admit now that some of that frustration turned
• 59:15
  Speaker 4: into resentment And I don't feel good about that. So
• 59:18
  Speaker 4: while I still wish things had happened differently, I've accepted
• 59:22
  Speaker 4: that he's going to be working there and that I'm
• 59:24
  Speaker 4: going to have to adjust. I don't have to love
• 59:27
  Speaker 4: the situation, but I can deal with it. I care
• 59:30
  Speaker 4: about my brother. I want him to succeed. And I'm
• 59:32
  Speaker 4: hoping that once the summer actually starts, it'll end up
• 59:35
  Speaker 4: being much less of a big deal than I've built
• 59:38
  Speaker 4: it to be in my head. Hopefully.
• 59:40
  Speaker 7: Yeah, I think it will.
• 59:42
  Speaker 4: And I think.
• 59:43
  Speaker 10: you've definitely got anxiety and I think you're probably already
• 59:46
  Speaker 10: in therapy based on the way that you speak and
• 59:49
  Speaker 10: just keep going and keep working on it.
• 59:51
  Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story.