Latest / The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast / The Best and Worst of Each Enneagram Type

Transcript

The Best and Worst of Each Enneagram Type · The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Simply Wholehearted Podcast with Amy Wicks, your wholehearted life and business coach.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: You should know this podcast will inspire you to grow in self-awareness, be passionate about your faith, and get clear on your calling.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: If you are new here, then welcome to the community of multi-passionate women who love to go deep on topics like faith, Enneagram, relationships, leadership, and community.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: This conversation might provide the step you need to make the change you desire.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: So let's get started.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: Now, whether you desire to just learn more about your personality or someone else's, it is a fantastic resource to come back to and of course share with others.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I thought it would be fun to continue the conversation with some topical episodes that dive deeper into each type.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: So we're gonna take a topic and then we're gonna talk about all nine types in one episode.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: And most of them will be pretty easy to listen to, short and sweet, and you'll learn a new little tidbit.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: So in this episode, I thought it'd be fun to look at each type at their best and at their worst.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: I know, I know.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: I like to keep things positive, but when it came to discovering my true dominant Enneagram type, it was the not so great qualities that were displayed at my worst moments that helped me get a little bit more clear about my true dominant type.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: And by the way, if you're still in the process of discovering what your Enneagram type is, not only do I recommend listening to the Anya Summer series, but check out the links in the show notes because I have quizzes and all sorts of helpful resources that are completely free for you to go on that journey.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: Now, one of the sayings here at Simply Wholehearted is that the Enneagram can help you identify your starting point so it doesn't become your stuck point.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: So that's the frame of reference I want you to have as you listen to the best and worst of each type.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna share this little insight on a specific type so you can contrast and compare the two.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: And then I'm also going to add a little additional insight to offer a fresh perspective of maybe what you have of that personality type, or maybe even what you have about yourself.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: Today we're gonna start with the Enneagram 8 and talk about the types in the gut triad, which are the eight, nine, and one.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: So, first up here, the Enneagram 8 desires to protect themselves and those they love from the risk of being betrayed.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: So at their best, an 8 is honest and committed, they're passionately supportive of causes that they hold dear, and they lead and take charge while also inviting others to the process.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: But at their worst, an eight can be shut down and withdrawn, demanding and controlling of people and situations.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: They may polarize projects and conversations or situations.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: So here's an additional valuable insight about the Enneagram 8.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: I've often mentioned how some of my best friends are eights.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: And in this process of becoming dear friends with them, I found it so helpful to realize that their personality of an eight was not trying to be rude or insensitive when they were being blunt or not sugarcoating their feedback, right, or their opinion.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: They don't sugarcoat things because they appreciate it when others are blunt.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: I used to get annoyed and angry for eights for saying things so insensitively, like, you can't say things that way, but now I have compassion for them and see that they're honestly just trying to treat people how they want to be treated.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: They are trying to be kind with their bluntness, believe it or not.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: So I have learned to consider myself loved when an eight shoots straight with me.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: And in fact, I will often seek that kind of conversation and feedback out often.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: Now let's talk about the Enneagram 9.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, a type 9 desires to have inner stability and peace of mind.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: So at their best, they're peacemaking, they're reassuring and accepting while still expressing their personal opinion, and they invite others to relax and have a good time.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: But at their worst, they're peacekeeping instead of peacemaking, which means they're turning their back on all the mess.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: They could be passive-aggressive or overly accommodating to keep the peace, and they might be stubborn when they decide they want their way.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: Here's a valuable insight to the nines.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's true that a nine struggles with confrontation.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: But again, that detail is more about them being asleep to their wants, desires, and opinions.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: Once a type 9 is awake to those insights, watch out because you will have a true peacemaker and an ambitious go-getter on your hands.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: A healthy nine will be your faithful comrade, the one you can count on to get things done and done well by leading with grace and eloquence.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: Now the last type in the gut triad is the Enneagram one.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, a type one desires to be known and seen as a person of integrity and balance.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: At their best, they are appreciative, supportive, responsible, and they work hard to make the world a better place.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: But when they're on the struggle bus and they're at their worst, they can be nitpicky, stubborn, overly critical, and hold unrealistic expectations of others.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: Now I'm curious to know, have you ever vacationed with a type 1?
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: Well, if you have, then you know that a healthy type 1 can look a little bit more like a type 7.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, they are more relaxed, and when they shift out of their normal routine and all their responsibilities, and there's a plan in place, they will relax, be playful, and truly enjoy themselves.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: So when a type 1 can step out of their normal, rigorous daily demands, it is possible to see them let their hair down, and their only concern being making sure that no one is bored and finding all the good food.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: So if a type 1 that you love hasn't had a vacation lately, you might need to invite them to it.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, we're gonna move out of the gut triad types, the eight, nine, and one, and go to the hard types and start with the Enneagram 2.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, a type 2 desires to be loved and wanted.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: At their best, a 2 is generous, playful, attentive, and they nurture without expecting anything in return.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: But when they're at their worst, they're insincere, manipulative, possessive, and they might come across as very needy in hopes of controlling their relationships.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: Now I love telling the story about a conversation I had with Enneagram 2, Lisa Joe Baker.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: That is clear back in 2019 and episode 115.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: So we are due for a new conversation, which indeed is going to happen.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: But she shared her take on being a type 2, and it was really refreshingly honest.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: She acknowledged how difficult it was to see all the needs all the time, almost like the type one seeds all the things to fix.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: She explained that it was a burden to be aware of all the ways that she was needed.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: She did love to help support and to say yes to good things, but often it would become detrimental to her health and even to her family, because if she was saying yes to everyone else outside of the home, then she was saying no to some of the more important needs in her home.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: So she has taken time to learn how to prioritize her yeses.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: And in that episode, Lisa Joe also shared about how all this helping, when she overhelped, it would take her to the low side of the eight qualities, right?
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: Because she would be frustrated and resentful.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, it was really, really interesting.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: I loved how she was just honest to the struggle of the two.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: So it's always good to know a little bit more and these little extra insights about the people we love.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, now we're gonna go to the next type in the heart triad, and that's the type three.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: They desire to feel valuable and worthwhile.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: So when they're at their best, they can be efficient while also staying connected to their loved ones.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: They derive joy from motivating others, and they take the failures they experience as a learning opportunity.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: But when they're at their worst, they become impatient and isolated, they're more self-absorbed in their personal successes instead of being aware of what's going on around them, and they might even be dishonest with themselves and others.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: As I've coached many threes, I find that I can't emphasize enough that their worth has nothing to do with how much they work or the promotions they get, the races they run, the tasks they check off the list.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: So I have found the best advice or encouragement to give a type three is that as they lay their head down on the pillow at night, instead of running through the list of what they didn't accomplish that day, to think instead of all the ways they showed love to their people.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: So if you happen to be a type three, or if you know a type three, ask this question, how much did I love today?
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: Or how did I bring joy to my heavenly father because I accomplished his purpose for me today?
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: I think for a three, it's invaluable to change the metric of success because you're going to measure your success.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: So ultimately, in the end, it's about receiving God's unconditional love and to be able to use that as your motivator.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: The Enneagram 4 is going to finish out the heart triad types.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, that was the two, three, four, and the four desires to find themselves and their unique significance in the world around them.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: When a four is at their best, they're attentive to others, confident in their uniqueness, and they share a depth of emotional connection with others.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: When a four is at their worst, they're focused on their own issues, they're envious, and they self-sabotage their relationships and career.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's worth mentioning here that I have been so grateful for how my Enneagram four friends have helped me access painful emotions.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: There's one four friend in particular who always speaks words to me that help me unlock my grief.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: It they just speak it in a way that it helps me know that they share my anguish on a deep level.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: And that has ministered to me time and time again.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: Another insight to know about a four is that sometimes their melancholy could look like depression.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: But often it's just a way a type four relates and cares for their own emotional health and their loved ones.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: They're just not going to be overly enthusiastic and they might pull away a little bit more, or just emote more often.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: And interestingly enough, fours often get pegged as introverts.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: But I have done a few polls before and some digging into this type, and it turns out that some fours are indeed extroverts.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're an extrovert four up there, you are not alone.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: As we make our way to the final three Enneagram types for this episode, the five is the first on the list of the head triad.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_00: And again, the types in the head triad are five, six, and seven.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: A type five desires to be capable and competent in all subjects that they find interesting.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: So at their best, they're generous with knowledge, time, and energy, they're perceptive, and they're engaged on an emotional level, not just an intellectual level.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_00: At their worst, they might be constantly on guard, operate in suspicion of others, and withdraw from those closest to them.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: Now, just like I was saying about the Enneagram 4s, Enneagram 5s are not all hardcore introverts, totally detached from their feelings with their nose in a book.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, that's not even half the time true.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I know a five who isn't a huge fan of reading books.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: Now, just because that is true, I am not saying that they don't find other ways to satisfy their desire for research, but that can look like listening to podcasts, watching YouTube videos, magazines, online articles.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: But fives aren't always the bookworm everyone thinks they are.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: Now, the majority of fives that I have gotten to coach or have interacted with do tend to fit into some of the stereotypes.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: Most of them are very intentional with their relationships and pursue connection on a deep level.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: The fives that I know regularly enjoy the company of others and have learned to equally appreciate their time alone to recharge or to sit in silence with those that are closest to them.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_00: Now we're going to take a glimpse into the world of a six.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: A type six desires to have support and guidance from people they know and trust.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: So when they're at their best, they're loyal, supportive, reliable, they're committed to family and friends, and they work hard to meet the needs around them.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: At their worst, they might be operating in fear, trying to control the possible present and future scenarios.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: They may respond with sarcasm when feeling threatened and inflexible with others.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know an Enneagram six with a good sense of humor?
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_00: Well, in fact, I have found a lot of sixes in my life to be quite hilarious.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: And perhaps it comes from their need for laughter when things are tense or their innate ability to see worst-case scenario thinking or to laugh about it when it all turns out alright in the end.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, I think it's good to know that sixes can have a great sense of humor.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: Now, another insight about sixes is that they might get disappointed when their strategies and planning aren't needed.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: They may have come up with 26 different strategies to mitigate danger, and then when they don't have to use it, it may feel like a letdown.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, let's wrap up this overview with the Enneagram 7.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: A type 7 desires to be satisfied, content, and to have all of their needs fulfilled.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: So when they're at their best, they invite others to experience new adventures and activities.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_00: They're focused, they offer lighthearted care to others.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: But when they're at their worst, they may be self-absorbed, noncommittal, and allow distractions to keep them finishing the important task.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: Now I think it's important to know that a seven can learn to be grounded in the present moment and to savor goodness with a grateful heart.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_00: They are able to go deep and talk about hard things, especially when it helps the other person.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: Personally, I have found becoming a wholehearted life and business coach to be one of the most rewarding things that I've done.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_00: Even though many of my sessions focus on tough topics, I do find a lot of joy in learning from my Heavenly Father's care and empathy in the process.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_00: Also, sevens do tend to be extroverts, but they still like their alone time.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: They do find a lot of joy just being able to think the thoughts without any constraints.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_00: And you might even find a seven to be 100% content to stay put and be someone who does enjoy their privacy.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: So maybe not all sevens are the party animals that often get depicted.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, friend, which one of these tips or insights have stood out to you most?
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: Is there something new you learned about yourself or a loved one?
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_00: I know I cringe a little when I see my personality types not so favorite qualities, but that's why the wholehearted transformation coaching process is built around the truth that your starting point doesn't have to be your stuck point.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_00: I'd love for you to share about your Enneagram type along with a screenshot of this episode.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: And be sure to tag at Wholehearted Enneagram on Instagram so I can meet you.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks so much for being a part of this wholehearted community.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so grateful that for over seven years of the podcast, I've gotten to grow and learn with you.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, friend, we're all broken, we're all blowing it, but it's the brave one who does something about it.