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18 - The Odyssey - Homer · Classic Adventure Books Library

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Book eighteen. Now there came a certain common tramp who used to go begging
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all over the city of Ithaca, and was notorious as an incorrigible glutton and
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drunkard. This man had no strength nor stay in him, but he was
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a great hulking fellow. To look at his real name, the one his
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mother gave him, was Arnaeus, but the young men of the place called
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him Iris, because he used to run errands for any one who would send
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him. As soon as he came, he began to insult Ulysses and to
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try and drive him out of his own house. Be awful man, he
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cried from the doorway, or you shall be dragged out neck and heels.
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Do you not see that they are all giving me the wink and wanting me
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to turn you out by force? Only I do not like to do.
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So get up, then and go of yourself, or we shall come to
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blows. Ulysses frowned on him and said, my friend, I do you
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no manner of harm. People give you a great deal, but I am
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not jealous. There is room room enough in this doorway for the pair of
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us, and you need not grudge me things that are not yours. To
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give. You seem to be just such another tramp as myself, But perhaps
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the gods will give us better luck by and by. Do not, however,
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talk too much about fighting, or you will incense me and old though
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I am, I shall cover your mouth and chest with blood. I shall
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have more peace to morrow if I do, for you will not come to
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the house of Ulysses any more. Iris was very angry and answered, you,
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filthy glutton. You run on trippingly like an old fish fag. I
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have a good mind to lay both hands about you and knock your teeth out
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of your head like so many boars tusks. Get ready, therefore, and
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let these people here stand by and look on. You will never be able
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to fight one who is so much younger than yourself. Thus roundly did they
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rate one another on the smooth pavement in front of the doorway. And when
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Antonus saw what was going on, he laughed heartily and said to the others,
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this is the finest sport that you ever saw. Heaven never yet sent
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anything like it into this house. The stranger and Eres have quarreled and are
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going to fight. Let us set them on to do so at once.
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The suitors all came up, laughing, and gathered round the two ragged tramps.
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Listen to me, said Antonus. There are some goat's paunches down at
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the fire, which we have filled with blood and fat and set aside for
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supper. He who is victorious and proves himself to be the better man shall
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have his pick of the lot. He shall be free of our table,
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and we will not allow any other beggar about the house at all. The
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others all agreed, but ulysses to throw them off the scent, said sirs.
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An old man like myself, worn out with suffering, cannot hold his
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own against a young one. But my irrepressible belly urges me on, though
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I know it can only end in my getting a drubbing. You must swear,
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however, that none of you will give me a foul blow, to
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favor Ras and secure him the victory. They swore, or as he told
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them. And when they had completed their oath, Telemachus put in a word
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and said, stranger, if you have a mind to settle with this fellow,
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you need not be afraid of any one here. Whoever strikes you will
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have to fight more than one. I am host, and the other chiefs
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Antonus and Eurymachus, both of them men of understanding, are of the same
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mind as I am. Every one assented, and Ulysses girded his old rags
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about his loins, thus bearing his stalwart thighs, his broad chest and shoulders,
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and his mighty arms. But Minerva came up to him and made his
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limbs even stronger. Still, the suitors were beyond measure astonished, and one
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would turn towards his neighbors, saying, this stranger has brought such a thigh
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out of his old rags that there will soon be nothing left of rus Iris
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began to be very uneasy as he heard them, But the servants girded him
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by force and brought him into the open part of the court in such a
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fright that his limbs were all of a tremble. Antonus scolded him and said,
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said, you swaggering bully, you ought never to have been born at
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all. If you are afraid of such an old, broken down creature as
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this tramp is, I say therefore, and it shall surely be, if
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he beats you and proves himself the better man, I shall pack you off
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on board ship to the mainland. And send you to King Ekeatus, who
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kills every one that comes near him. He will cut off your nose and
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ears, and draw out your entails for the dogs to eat. This frightened
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heres still more. But they brought him into the middle of the court,
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and the two men raised their hands to fight. Then Ulysses considered whether he
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should let drive so hard at him as to make an end of him then
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and there, or whether he should give him a lighter blow that should only
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knock him down. In the end, he deemed it best to give the
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lighter blow, for fear the Achaeans should begin to suspect who he was.
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Then they began to fight, and Eras hit Ulysses on the right shoulder.
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But Ulysses gave Ears a blow on the neck under the ear that broke in
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the bones of his skull, and the blood came gushing out out of his
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mouth. He fell groaning in the dust, gnashing his teeth and kicking on
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the ground. But the suitors threw up their hands and nearly died of laughter.
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Ulysses caught hold of him by the foot and dragged him into the outer
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court as far as the gatehouse. There he propped him up against the wall
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and put his staff in his hands. Sit here, said he, and
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keep the dogs and pigs off. You are a pitiful creature, and if
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you try to make yourself king of the beggars any more, you shall fare
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still worse. Then he threw his dirty old wallet, all tattered and torn,
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over his shoulder with the cord by which it hung, and went back
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to sit down upon the threshold. But the suitors went within the cloisters,
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laughing and saluting him. May Jove and all the other gods said, they
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grant you whatever you want for having put an end to the importunity of this
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insatiable tramp. We will take him over to the main land presently to King
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Echetus, who kills every one that comes near him. Ulysses hailed this as
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of good omen, and Antonus set a great goat's paunch before him, filled
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with blood and fat. Amphinymus took two loaves out of the bread basket and
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brought them to him, pledging him as he did so, in a golden
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goblet of wine. Good luck to you, he said, father stranger.
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You are very badly off at present, but I hope you will have better
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times by and by to this, Ulysses answered ampheminus, you seem to be
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a man of good understanding, as indeed you may well be. Seeing whose
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son you are, I have heard your father well spoken of. He is
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Nysus of Dulichium, a man both brave and wealthy. They tell me you
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are his son, and you appear to be a considerable person. Listen,
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therefore, and take heed to what I am saying. Man is the vainest
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of all creatures that have their being upon earth. As long as Heaven vouchsafes
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him health and strength, he thinks that he shall come to no harm hereafter.
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And even when the blessed Gods bring sorrow upon him, he bears it
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as he needs must, and makes the best of it. For God Almighty
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gives men their daily minds day by day. I know all about it,
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for I was a rich man once and did much wrong in the stubbornness of
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my pride, and in the confidence that my father and my brothers would support
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me. Therefore, let a man fear God in all things always, and
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take the good that Heaven may see fit to send him without vainglory. Consider
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the infamy of what these suitors are doing. See how they are wasting the
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estate and doing dishonor to the wife of one who is certain to return some
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day, and that too not long. Hence, nay, he will be
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here soon. May Heaven send you home quietly first, that you may not
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meet with him in the day of his coming, For once he is here
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the suitors and he will not part bloodlessly. With these words, he made
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a drink offering, and when he had drunk, he put the gold cup
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again into the hands of Ampheminus, who walked away, serious and bowing his
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head. He foreboded evil, But even so he did not escape destruction,
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for Minerva had doomed him fall by the hand of Telemachus. So he took
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his seat again at the place from which he had come. Then Minerva put
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it into the mind of Penelope to show herself to the suitors, that she
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might make them still more enamored of her and win still further honor from her
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son and husband. So she feigned a mocking laugh and said, eurynymy,
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I have changed my mind and have a fancy to show myself to the suitors.
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Although I detest them, I should like also to give my son a
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hint that he had better not have anything more to do with them. They
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speak fairly enough, but they mean mischief. My dear child answered, Eurynymy,
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all that you have said is true. Go and tell your son about
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it. But first wash yourself and anoint your face. Do not go about
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with your cheeks all covered with tears. It is not right that you should
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grieve so incessantly, for Telemachus, whom you have always prayed that you might
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live to see with the bees, is already grown up. I know,
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Eurynymy, replied Penelope, that you mean well, but do not try and
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persuade me to wash and to anoint myself, for Heaven rob me of all
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my beauty on the day my husband sailed. Nevertheless, tell Autonoe and Hippodamia
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that I want them. They must be with me when I am in the
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cloister. I am not going among the men alone. It would not be
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proper for me to do so. On this, the old woman went out
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of the room to bid the maids go to their mistress. In the meantime,
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Minerva bethought her of another matter and sent Penelope off into a sweet slumber.
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So she lay down on her couch and her limbs became heavy with sleep.
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Then the goddess shed grace and beauty over her, that all the Achaeans
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might admire her. She washed her face with the ambrosial loveliness that Venus wears
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when she goes dancing. With the graces, she made her taller and of
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a more commanding figure, while as for her complexion, it was whiter than
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san ivory. When Minerva had done all this, she went away, whereon
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the maids came in from the women's room and woke Penelope with the sound of
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their talking. Oh what an exquisitely delicious sleep I have been having, said
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she as she passed her hands over her face. In spite of all my
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misery, I wish Diana would let me die so sweetly now, at this
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very moment, that I might no longer waste in despair for the loss of
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my dear husband, who possessed every kind of good quality and was the most
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distinguished man among the Achaeans. With these words, she came down from her
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upper room, not alone, but attended by two of her maidens, And
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when she reached the suitors, she stood by one of the bearing posts supporting
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the roof of the cloister holding a veil before her face, and with a
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staid maid servant on either side of her. As they beheld her, the
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suitors were so overpowered and became so desperately enamored of her, that each one
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prayed he might win her for his own bed. Fellow Telemachus, said she,
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addressing her son, I fear you are no longer so discreet and well
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conducted as you used to be. When you were younger, you had a
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greater sense of propriety. Now, however, that you are grown up,
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though a stranger to look at you would take you for the son of a
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well to do father. As far as size and good looks go, your
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conduct is by no means what it should be. What is all this disturbance
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that has been going on? And how came you to allow a stranger to
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be so disgracefully ill treated? What would have happened if he had suffered serious
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injury while suppliant in our house? Surely this would have been very discreditable to
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you. I am not surprised, my dear mother, at your displeasure,
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replied Telemachus. I understand all about it, and no one things are not
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as they should be, which I could not do when I was younger.
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I cannot, however, behave with perfect propriety at all times. First one
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and then another of these wicked people here keeps driving me out of my mind,
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and I have no one to stand by me. After all. However,
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this fire between Iris and the stranger did not turn out as the suitors
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meant it to do, for the stranger got the best of it. I
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wish Father Jove, Minerva and Apollo would break the neck of every one of
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these wooers of yours, some inside the house and some out. And I
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wish they might all be as limp as erases over yonder in the gait of
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the outer court. See how he nods his head like a drunken man.
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He has had such a thrashing that he cannot stand on his feet nor get
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back to his home, wherever that may be, for he has no strength
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left in him. Thus did they converse. Eurymachus then came up and said,
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Queen Penelope, daughter of Vicarius, if all the Achaeans in Yeasian Argos
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could see you at this moment, you would have still more suitors in your
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house by tomorrow morning. For you are the most admirable woman in the whole
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world, both as regards personal beauty and strength of understanding. To this,
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Penelope replied Eurymachus, Heaven robbed me of all my beauty, whether of face
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or figure. When the argives set sail for Troy, and my dear husband
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with them, if he were to return and look after my affairs, I
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should both be more respected and show a better presence to the world. As
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it is, I am oppressed with care and with the afflictions which Heaven has
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seen fit to heap upon me. My husband foresaw it all, and when
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he was leaving home, he took my right wrist in his hand. Wife,
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he said, we shall not all of us come home safe from Troy.
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For the Trojans fight well, both with beau and spear. They are
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excellent also at fighting from chariots, and nothing decides the issue of a fight
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sooner than this. I know not, therefore, whether Heaven will send me
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back to you, or whether I may not fall over there at Troy.
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In the meantime, do you look after things here? Take care of my
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father and mother as at present, and even more so during my absence.
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But when you see our son growing a beard, then marry whom you will,
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and leave this your present home. This is what he is say said,
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And now it is all coming true. A night will come when I
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shall have to yield myself to a marriage which I detest, for Jove has
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taken from me all hope of happiness. This further grief moreover cuts me to
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the very heart. You suitors are not wooing me, after the custom of
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my country, when men are courting a woman whom they think will be a
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good wife to them, and who is of noble birth, and when they
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are each trying to win her for himself, they usually bring oxen and sheep
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to feast the friends of the lady, and they make her magnificent presents instead
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of eating up other people's property without paying for it. This was what she
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said, and Ulysses was glad when he heard her trying to get presents out
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of the suitors and flattering them with fair words which he knew she did not
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mean. Then Antona said, Queen Penelope, daughter Vicarius, take as many
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presents as you please from any one who will give them to you. It
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is not well to refuse a present. But we will not go about our
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business, nor stir from where we are till you have married the best man
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among us, whoever he may be. The others applauded what Antonus had said,
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and each one sent his servant to bring his present. Antinus's man returned
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with a large and lovely dress, most exquisitely embroidered. It had twelve beautifully
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made brooch pins of pure gold with which to fasten it. Eurymachus immediately brought
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her a magnificent chain of gold and amber beads that gleamed like sunlight. Eurydamus's
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two men returned with some earrings fashioned into three brilliant pendants, which glistened most
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beautifully, while King Pisander, son of Polloctor, gave her a necklace of
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the rarest workmanship, and every one else brought her a beautiful present of some
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kind. Then the queen went back to her room upstairs, and her maids
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brought the presents after her. Meanwhile, the suitors took to singing and dancing,
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and stayed till evening came. They danced and sang till it grew dark.
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Then they brought in three braziers to give life, and pile them up
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with chopped firewood, very old and dry, and they lit torches from them,
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which the maids held up in turn, and turn about. Then,
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Ulysses, said, maids, servants of Ulysses, who has so long been
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absent, go to the queen inside the house, sit with her and amuse
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her, or spin and pick wool. I will hold the light for all
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these people. They may stay till morning, but shall not beat me,
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for I can stand a great deal. The maids looked at one another and
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laughed, while pretty Melantho began to gibe at him contemptuously. She was daughter
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Todolius, but had been brought up by Penelope, who used to give her
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toys to play with and looked after her when she was a child. But
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in spite of all this, she showed no consideration for the sorrows of her
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mistress, and used to misconduct herself with Eurymachus, with whom she was in
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love. Poor wretch, said she, Are you gone clean out of your
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mind? Go and sleep in some smithy or place of public gossips instead of
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chattering here? Are you not ashamed of opening your mouth before your betters so
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many of them too? Has the wine been getting into your head? Or
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do you always babble in this way. You seem to have lost your wits
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because you beat the tramp Eiress. Take care that a better man than he
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does not come and cudgel you about the head till he pack you bleeding out
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of the house. Vixen replied Ulysses, scowling at her, I will go
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and tell Telemachus what you have been saying, and he will have you torn
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limb from limb. With these words, he scared the women, and they
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went off into the body of the house. They trembled all over, for
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they thought he would do as he said. But Ulysses took his stand near
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the burning braziers, holding up torches and looking at the people, brooding the
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while on things that should surely come to pass. But Minerva would not let
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the suitors for one moment cease their insolence, for she wanted Ulysses to become
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even more bitter against them. She therefore sent Eurymachus, son of Polybus,
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on to gibe at him, which made the others laugh. Listen to me,
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said he you, suitors of Queen Penelope, that I may speak even
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as I am minded. It is not for nothing that this man has come
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to the house of Ulysses, I believe the light has not been coming from
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the torches, but from his own head, for his hair is all gone,
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every bit of it. Then, turning to Ulysses, he said,
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stranger, will you work as a servant? If I send you to the
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wolds and see that you are well paid? Can you build a stone fence
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or plant trees? I will have you fed all the year round, and
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will find you in shoes and clothing. Will you go then? Not you,
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for you have got into bad ways and do not want to work.
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You would rather fill your belly by going round the country begging Youremachus answered Ulysses.
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If you and I were to work one against the other in early summer,
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when the days are at their longest, give me a good scythe and
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take an other yourself, and let us see which will fast the longer,
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or mow the stronger from dawn till dark when the mowing grass is about.
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Or if you will plow against me, let us each take a yoke of
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tawny oxen, well mated and of great strength and endurance, turn me into
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a four acre field, and see whether you or I can drive the straighter
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furrow. If again, war were to break out this day, Give me
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a shield and a couple of spears, and a helmet fitting well upon my
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temples. You would find me foremost in the fray, and would cease your
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gibes about my belly. You are insolent and cruel, and think yourself a
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great man, because you live in a little world, and that a bad
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one. If Ulysses comes to his own again, the doors of his house
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are wide, but you will find them narrow when you try to fly through
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them. Eurymachus was furious at all this. He scowled at him and cried,
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you wretch, I will soon pay you out for daring to say such
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things to me and in public to two. Has the wine been getting into
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your head? Or do you always babble in this way? You seem to
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have lost your wits, because you beat the tramp eres with this he caught
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hold of a footstool, but Ulysses saw protection at the knees of Amphinymus of
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Duluchium, for he was afraid. The stool hit the cupbearer on his right
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hand and knocked him down. The man fell with a cry, flat on
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his back, and his wine jug fell ringing to the ground. The suitors
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in the covered cloister were now in an uproar, and one would turn towards
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his neighbor, saying, I wish the stranger had gone somewhere else, bad
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luck to hide for all the trouble he gives us. We cannot permit such
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disturbance about a beggar. If such ill counsels are to prevail, we shall
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have no more pleasure at our banquet. On this Telemachus came forward and said,
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sirs, are you mad? Can you not carry your meat and your
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liquor decently? Some evil spirit has possessed you. I do not wish to
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drive any of you away, but you have had your suppers and the sous.
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You all go home to bed the better. The suitors bit their lips
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and marveled at the boldness of his speech. But Amphinymus, the son of
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Nisus, who was son to Aretius, said, do not let us take
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offense. It is reasonable, So let us make no answer. Neither let
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us do violence to the stranger nor to any of ulysses servants. Let the
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cup bearer go round with the drink offerings that we may make them, and
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go home to our rest. As for the stranger. Let us leave Telemachus
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to deal with him, for it is to his house that he is come.
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Thus did he speak, and his saying pleased them well. So Mulius
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of Delicium, servant to Amphinymus, mixed them a bowl of wine and water,
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and handed it round to each of them man by man, whereon they
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made their drink offerings to the blessed gods. Then, when they had made
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their drink offerings and had drunk each one as he was minded, they took
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their several ways, each of them to his own abode. End of Book eighteen