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Crime Reporter Becomes the Headline with Beth McDonough · Giving Pain Purpose with Lyndsay Soprano

• Lyndsay Soprano (00:03.466) We all have our ways of coping from whatever life has dished us. Whether it be gambling or shopping or alcohol or drugs, illegal or prescribed as so many of us love, food, pornography, and now social media, right? Which, Beth (00:20.203) Thank you. Lyndsay Soprano (00:28.896) God damn, I feel like sometimes social media is worse than all of those things combined, but we all have our ways of coping. My first drink of alcohol was when I was nine years old. I was an insomniac, well, I still am. I had massive child sexual abuse when I was a little girl. Beth (00:28.974) Mm-hmm. Lyndsay Soprano (00:52.244) And then it went on to older and then the next phase of being older and the next phase and so on and so forth. But when I was nine years old and I could not sleep, my grandfather told my parents, just give her a hotty toddy. And so I learned that whiskey and honey heated up at night was what would solve my problem. And that started at such a young age. And even though I knew that I was too young to drink alcohol, because it wasn't allowed, but yet they're giving it to me. My little child brain was like, ooh, well, this will help me sleep. This will help me cope through whatever ails me. And I don't blame my parents for this in any way, or form, because I was a kid of the 80s and they're like, just come home not dead. You know? Yeah. Yeah. Beth (01:32.713) Yes. Beth (01:47.658) Yes, yes, yes. Lyndsay Soprano (01:51.208) And as I got older though, my coping mechanism turned into stealing. So I stole alcohol from my parents. I stole alcohol from local drug stores. I stole local alcohol from any local market I could get it from. I was getting it because I knew that I would be able to sleep. And then I found out that it had a bunch of other amazing things that it would do. And by my freshman year in high school, I was stealing liquor from everybody's cabinet that I can find and I would put it into a big jar and I would bring it to my high school and I was a freshman and I would drink all of it by my second period science class. And we called it suicide because it was everything you could find in your parents' and throw it into it. And I have a science teacher that caught me and said, walk it off and then come back. to class. Beth (02:49.024) Wow. Lyndsay Soprano (02:50.324) So when you're brought up in those kind of circumstances, which I don't blame any of these people to a certain extent, I learned how to cope with alcohol at the center of all of that. And now I'm almost 50 and the same coping mechanism for all things stressful and traumatic usually still turns to alcohol, but only Prosecco. So does that count? I think it might, but it's a pretty drink, you know? That's exactly right. So, I mean, I drank to numb myself out of early-hurt trauma. I drank myself out of teenage trauma, early adulthood trauma, and now, like, kind of sort of adult trauma. And my guest today is no stranger to drinking to relieve stress, to numb out and black out, my darling. But why? Beth (03:21.097) It depends on who you ask. Beth (03:45.225) Thank Lyndsay Soprano (03:46.688) So let's get to the why. Today, we're gonna talk a little bit about investigative crime reporting, covering mass tragedies and how we cope through those, postponing your own care for others, becoming the headline in overcoming alcoholism, legal consequences of all of that and more. So without further ado, I'd like to introduce you to my gorgeous blondie guest of mine, McDonough. Beth (04:09.513) I'm going to Beth (04:13.16) Yeah. Hi! We have so much to get to. Lyndsay Soprano (04:20.826) I know we do, know. Okay, so real quick, so Beth is a seasoned Emmy award winning, relentless investigative journalist who built her career exposing crime and public scandal in major US television markets. From covering the mafia, which I love as a soprano, to George Floyd's death, to 9-11, to Elizabeth Smart, to the I-35 West Bridge collapse, to Prince's sudden death. Beth (04:27.291) Yeah. Beth (04:40.741) Yes Lyndsay Soprano (04:49.856) crazy bitch has been there, but the story finally turned on her. Not once, but twice. And a deepening struggle with alcohol led to DUI arrests and Beth became that headline. So without further ado, my love, I would like to introduce you here to the show. I am rolling out the red carpet for you, babe. Beth (05:10.863) Okay, thank you. Beth (05:14.566) Well, thank you so much. I'm honored and humbled. Lyndsay Soprano (05:18.664) my goodness gracious, well you humble me with your story. So I'd like to start with your work as a crime reporter and the toll that it took on you and then let's follow where that story leads. Beth (05:31.327) Okay, interesting. That's the you're gonna go deep early. My goodness, why not the toll that crime reporting took on me? Well, you know, I think on the cover of the book it is a good example of the crime it of the toll it took you know when you're in it and being a crime reporter and covering mass disasters and tragedies and I Jokingly call it murder death destruction mayhem Lyndsay Soprano (05:36.764) Why not? Beth (06:01.38) You know, because it's tough stuff and it got a light in a little bit for people. But when you cover that constantly day in and day out, at the time, I thought I was handling it well, you know, but everybody when you're in something, you don't see yourself. You don't see how you really are and how you're handling, you know, and it also being in the news profession, you know, I always work the nights. And so when you get off at 11 or midnight after the late news, what's open? Boggers. Lyndsay Soprano (06:30.144) Mars. Beth (06:31.138) You know, and we reporters would or anybody in the newsroom, you know, we get together with people from other stations and go out and blow off some steam and decompress and You know and the idea is maybe you don't take some of what you saw that day home with you And it doesn't get ingrained into your bones. It just you know after doing it for 30 years and seeing you know children floating in the river and my goodness tens of thousands of stories that I've covered all over the US and you and I have talked about one that's listed in the book in particular and it's interesting that you brought that up because I think of all the stories I've done. This one in particular involving Jason Sweeney out of Philadelphia was probably the one that stopped me in my tracks the most pretty you know earlier in my career. So I was working in Philly at the time and You know, we got word that a teenager had been killed in Philadelphia. And I want to say he lived in Fishtown, which is a northern area of the city, I guess. So it's a blue collar, great people, vintage Philadelphia people, right? You know, they're Eagles fans there. And we had heard that this teenager had been killed. And then I got the police report and I was like, you know, it's one thing to hear how someone dies. Lyndsay Soprano (07:46.688) hehe Beth (07:56.192) And it's another thing to see it spelled out right in front of you in a police report. And you and I know that Jason Swinney, he was actually hacked to death with a machete by his best friends and his girlfriend. And it was a Friday. He was the only one in the high school group that had a job. And he worked at a construction company and he was walking home. It was payday. So he had some cash in his pocket and his friends invited to meet up with him. They brought him out into this field and they were all high on heroin and they had machetes. And, you know, if anybody's squeamish, you know, I turned the volume down, but, know, they have to friended him for lack of a better word. And they hacked him to death. They're lifelong friend. They've been friends since they were youngsters. And so my crew and I, you you read all that in the police report and I'm like, is that possible? Lyndsay Soprano (08:35.296) you if any of you sit in, but if you turn the volume down, but you can see where they're not. Lyndsay Soprano (08:48.96) Right. That's the first thing I'm like, I have a couple girls from high school that I don't care for. Okay. I'm not going to machete her to death just because she freaking forged the homecoming queen award. Beth (09:02.687) Right. Yeah. Beth (09:11.199) I mean, you know, something's my call. No, kidding, And so, know, when you see that, that's okay. When you see that in the police report, you know, and then I'm like, my God, you know, like, okay, well, got to do a door knock, right? And then that's what we reporters do. And we go approach homes and try and talk to the family, because who knows the person better or the victim better than the family. So I go knock. Lyndsay Soprano (09:17.01) Okay, maybe. Lyndsay Soprano (09:22.826) Sorry, we had to rest. Beth (09:41.311) I was getting, we were pulling into the neighborhood and just vintage Philly, because I love how spicy and feisty people are. And, um, God, loved Philly. So we're pulling into the neighborhood and I get out of the light truck, you know, we're all marked up and DC 10, KYW. And I start to walk up the sidewalk and I hear this man say, toots, what are you doing? And I'm like, uh, someone's calling me toots. Okay. Haven't heard that. Lyndsay Soprano (10:06.89) Tuts? Beth (10:10.513) since the 60s, but whatever. And I was like, I'm looking for Jason Sweeney's house. And goes, yeah, I'm his dad. And I'm like, Lyndsay Soprano (10:12.928) Ha Beth (10:22.143) Oh, you know, and I looked at my crew, my live truck operating my photographer because he was in a far too good mood to know what was going on, you know, and and I was like, I do not want to be the one to tell him what happens, you know. And so he said, why do you need this Sweeney household? You know, and I said, I was hoping I could talk to Jason Sweeney's parents. And he says, that's me. Lyndsay Soprano (10:29.844) No kidding. Lyndsay Soprano (10:49.652) Yeah. Fuck. Beth (10:49.919) How do you get out of this now? And we're in our big live talk. And I mean, we're there for a reason, right? And so, you know, I said, have you heard from police and you know, his body changed his body language changed them. And then he goes, no lie. And I said, you know, don't you go in and check with your wife for a second and we'll be out here. And he goes, what do you know? And I'm like, please go talk with your wife. You know, and he went into the house and then when he came back out, Lyndsay Soprano (10:55.91) Right, right. Beth (11:18.75) He was a changed man. It was you know anger and and Fury and outrage and all the above and he came flying out of that house and he said You go into the field and I said we are we're go to the field We're gonna get some video and he goes I want to go with you and I'm like, please no, please Please no like Lyndsay Soprano (11:21.162) Yeah. Lyndsay Soprano (11:39.624) No, you talked about that in your book. I was like, God. Beth (11:45.181) You know, I've been in a lot of crime scenes. None of them are sterilized. And, know, this is his son's. His son's it was his son. Let's just say that, you know, so we get out and he was like, no, I want to follow you out there. And I'm like, so my crew and I, you know, and the crew is looking at me and I'm like, you tell him, no, how do you tell, you know, a father know whose son was just murdered. So I'm like, let's just, you know, let's just try and get through this and make it the best as we can for him. So we get out there and. It was an ugly crime scene that you could imagine that involves machete body parts and blood. Let me say that. You know, so we get out there, you see all this and whether you realize it or not, you're absorbing the trauma of it too. So we're shooting all our video and everything and Mr. Sweeney, you know, came running out and he grabbed a hold of me and he said, I want you to see this through. And I said, we will, we will, you know, and he goes, no, I mean, I want you to see this through. And I'm like, Okay, okay. And, and then so this was kind of early in the evening, maybe five or 6pm on Dennis time went on Mr. 20 called me later in the evening and he said, Are you doing a live shot tonight? And I said, I am. And he said, Where am I? No. But you know, where you where your son lost his life. And, and he said, I want to come out there and watch it. And I said, you know, no, I don't think that's a good idea. We put a disclaimer on television, you know, there's, I'm reliving your son's death. You do not want to see this. And he said, I can sit at home and watch it on the TV or I can sit in your live truck and I'm going to sit in your live truck. And I'm like, yes, you are. Okay. So, you know, I kind of look at the crew and I'm like, luck and, you know, turn it up and just console him. But I reminded him, you know, this is, it's going to be hard. Lyndsay Soprano (13:19.872) Right, right, right. Beth (13:42.396) going to be really, really, really, really hard. And so I did the live report. And then when I came back and I walked to the satellite track, there's my photographer, the sat truck operator, Mr. Sweeney, all hugging each other, bawling. And my two guys, worked with their parents. I don't have kids, but they have kids. And so it was very emotional moment. I thought, oh, he got what he needed. I mean, how do you tell a parent no in that situation? He got what he needed. then he looked at me and then he said, I want the death penalty. And I'm like, talk to the DA, let him know, get him to explain you the death penalty. And talk to the DA, that's not something I can help with, but I can help to kind of see this through the court system and make sure nothing slips through the cracks for him. So that's what I did. And as he was walking away though, and it was just a funny moment in the middle of Lyndsay Soprano (14:11.892) Right. Lyndsay Soprano (14:34.164) Yeah. Beth (14:40.218) all this tragedy and he goes, Londy and I said, yeah, and he goes, sorry, I called you toots. And that was it. And he got in his car and drove off. And, you know, just a funny moment, it at all. But when you see that stuff day in and day out and whether I'm at the 35W bridge collapse and I'm seeing bodies float in water because we're there immediately after this, you know, big bridge fell into the river, you know, whether it's that or family members who have killed their children and were part of the search for them. know, over time you do absorb that in addition to whatever is going on in your life. Whether, you know, and I had various traumas whenever I got my first DUI, I had just gone through divorce, which I wanted, but still, you know, I was going to, and I was in Philly, I found out I was going to lose my job. They weren't going to renew my contract. So I'd have to move, sell my home. My mother died very unexpectedly. My father had a quadruple bypass. Lyndsay Soprano (15:43.873) Yeah, you're like, okay, so for a living, I deal with trauma. And you choose to and you loved being a journalist. I mean, love, love, love, love, love it. And now I experienced that my sweetie, my husband is a journalist and a different kind of journalistic than you. But he's in journalism and reports the stuff that you report on. Beth (15:50.519) Yes. Beth (15:57.356) a logic looks for it. Lyndsay Soprano (16:11.082) So yes, double down on whatever you say. And it is hard to not take that home with you and to let it sit in you. And I know we talk about this all the time on this show, but the book, Body Keeps the Score, and I swear I make zero money on it and I should, but it is a legitimately amazing book because you... Beth (16:11.307) Yes. Beth (16:32.279) Yes. Lyndsay Soprano (16:35.476) The things that we experience, even movies that we watch and what we look at on social media, all of it sits in us and all of it responds differently for the human being that it's sitting with, whether you're an empath like myself, like yourself, it sits there and now what do you do with it? How do you cope with it? Because when you're seeing, Beth (16:45.677) Yes. Lyndsay Soprano (17:01.662) Little Baby's being pulled out of the ocean or 9-11 where you're in your book and you guys need to read her book. It's really good, by the way. I mean, I'm gonna plug it throughout the whole thing, but not for any reason, because I don't plug shit. But her book is called Stand By and we'll get into a little bit more, the whole book made me feel like I was in standby all the time. Because you're like, I am not fucking sure what's gonna happen here. Beth (17:04.375) Yeah. Beth (17:26.145) Yes. Beth (17:31.198) I don't know. Lyndsay Soprano (17:31.52) and I'm not fucking sure what I'm gonna be able to do with it and you did what you did with it. And it's not just from crime reporting, but it's also from all the things that happened with your mom and your dad and your sister and all of it. what, yeah, so, and thank you for that story about Jason Sweeney because being brutally murdered by a machete, I am of the same ilk as his father. I would, Beth (17:46.751) Yeah! Lyndsay Soprano (18:01.498) Absolutely, I want to see it. I want to see it and that is different from other people. Some people are like, no chance, there's no way. But it forms my opinion on other potential tragedies that might happen in my life and I feel like maybe that is part of being a crime reporter. Like, how do you cope? How did you cope, my darling? Beth (18:07.955) Yeah, it is. Beth (18:27.691) Yes, not well. Not well. You know, what I would say started out is your basic partying, you know, like we what we've all done in our lives. When I was going through all of that period in 2005, six, seven and eight. You know, things I would say my partying got way out of control. You know, when we would go out and do things, I was always Lyndsay Soprano (18:30.31) Not well. Not well. Yeah. Lyndsay Soprano (18:39.072) Yeah. Beth (18:56.788) by far the drunkest. know, colleagues or friends did know that whenever I would step away from a restaurant with them at two or three drinks, I'd then go home and finish a bottle. You know, and I loved to go home and drink till I passed out. I did. That was my thing. I liked to drink. I was a blackout drinker and it didn't take a lot to get me there. And I think I liked the blackout because then I didn't have to think about that anymore, you know, and then you wake up Lyndsay Soprano (19:13.856) Well you were a blackout drink-drinker. Yeah. Yeah. Lyndsay Soprano (19:26.08) You just had the anxiety of the next morning when you're wondering what the fuck did I do? Beth (19:28.758) Yeah, and you grab in your phone like, did I text anyone? What did I say? What did I do? You know, who hates me today? Yeah, and so it really got out of control. And so, you know, then when I got the two back to back DUIs, that kind of drives home, well, Beth, you're not coping well. You got to figure out some other coping mechanisms. And, you know, we're all smart people. We know what the right course of action is. But Lyndsay Soprano (19:33.544) Yeah Ha Beth (19:57.767) Alcoholism, you know, we all know it's a disease too. And it's a disease of the brain. If we could stop drinking on our own, we all would. Right? Nobody wants to grow up to be an alcoholic. But so that is how I started coping. you know, alcohol, you don't control it, it controls you. and it will take over, your life and ruin your life. there just isn't any problem that alcohol can't make worse. And so if there's any structural beams within you that are weak or fractured, well, alcohol will find it. Alcohol will find it and get up in there. Yeah, a super spy, there you go. So I did not cope well. And that's the end result. Lyndsay Soprano (20:32.453) Yeah, yeah. It's a super spy. Lyndsay Soprano (20:43.988) So you've had two DUIs that this is while you're reporting. So let's talk a little bit about how this happened. So you're going out to all of these different locations and this has been going on for so many years. You don't even know that you're putting it into your body. You don't even really know that. Yeah, you're like, okay, I saw that and that was absolutely the most horrific thing I've ever seen until you've seen the most other Beth (21:03.133) Yeah. Lyndsay Soprano (21:12.928) a horrific thing that you've ever seen. And so it compounds upon itself. And when we don't have ways of coping through those things, we hit the bottle, we hit our drugs, we hit our shopping, we hit our blah, we go to social, which don't do it. Social media is just gonna make you drink more. I mean, it is. mean, literally the spike in alcohol has gone up over the past years, guys. Beth (21:15.515) Yes. Beth (21:32.465) That's for sure. Lyndsay Soprano (21:42.304) They said he was going to be good for the economy. They didn't say it was going to be because we were going to drink alcohol for all of it. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, they're like, wow, there is a spike in the stock market for vodka. But you've absorbed all of this and you've gone through this and you're you're doing all of this live on air. Beth (21:42.363) I don't come home Beth (21:50.715) Right, it's just we're all drunk through it. Lyndsay Soprano (22:09.546) How do you live the life that you're living where you drink until you're blackout drunk and you don't remember because you don't want to remember? And then you wake up and you're ready to get on air, full makeup, like you're not behind a mic where, you know, radio guys, it doesn't matter what we look like. You shine up like a pretty penny no matter what you've done the night before. How are you doing that and why? Beth (22:19.494) Mm-hmm. Beth (22:33.97) Woo! Beth (22:40.017) Thank you, I think. How am I doing that in my, you know, it was crazy how much of a high functioning alcoholic I was because I lived for what I did. And I loved it more than anything. You know, even after I was drinking, this is so insane. And achievement kind of becomes its own cross to bear. because it can help fuel it. But I would whenever I go to sleep, I would wake up without an alarm at five or six in the morning, which is crazy because I work the nights. But I would I would wake up, I'd have my coffee, I'd get up and go for a five mile run, I would say six days a week in the middle of that. And I don't know if that's the guilt or the whatever in you and you're trying to run it all out, you know, but I so I'd go for a run that I get ready and I go to work by noon and go to my 12 hour show. And You know, it's just amazing when you're numb, how you just keep the train going. You know, I call it keeping the train going. And whether or not people knew that I had a drinking problem or suspected it, you know, early on, they didn't share anything with me because again, I think it's part of keeping the train going. You know, because if you, you know, you ask some questions or you raise some issues, the train might stop and then what do you, you know, and then people aren't going to perform the way you need them to. Lyndsay Soprano (23:47.189) Yeah. Lyndsay Soprano (23:58.848) Yeah. Beth (24:10.38) But, you know, and my boss, when he did fire me after the second one, and this was really, really hard, because he said, you know, you have a job for life. And how nice is that to know you're going to get a regular paycheck every two weeks till you you're done. But that's not enough to keep me sober. You know, disappointing him wasn't enough to keep me sober. And, you know, disappointing my father, my mother has already passed, but my father, Lyndsay Soprano (24:23.072) Mm-hmm. Beth (24:40.067) That wasn't going to keep me sober, although it has in a strange way kept me sober ever since for 17 years. you know, and I could share another story with you. Like when you think when, when are you going to your rock bottom and it's still not your rock bottom? Chapter 42. And that is the Alfonso Rodriguez trial. You know where I'm going with that. And this is not a moment I'm proud of. It is. Lyndsay Soprano (24:55.36) Yeah. Lyndsay Soprano (25:02.374) Yep. Lyndsay Soprano (25:05.952) This is not a moment out of the... It's just... I said this is what addiction, half of addiction does feel. I'm this federal trial of an accused murderer, a sex offender too. I want to read the book. In North Dakota, where the trial took place. He killed Bush in January from Minnesota in the most area in this block. Beth (25:08.875) You know, it's terrific. It's just horrific. But this is what addiction, active addiction does to you. I was covering this federal trial of an accused murderer, and he's a sex offender to Alfonso Rodriguez in North Dakota is where the trial took place. But he had killed Drew Shadine, which was this young lady from Minnesota in the lakes area, Niswa area, cross lake area. And she was simply doing what You know, a young woman in her early twenties does coming out of them all. She was living in North Dakota at the time. Alfonso Rodriguez. He's a convicted sex offender. He served his time. So he's back out on the street. He saw her. He obsessed. He abducted her and he tortured her and her body. The reason the case was in North Dakota is her body was dumped there. Anyway, so we're covering this. Lyndsay Soprano (26:02.4) So we're covering the trial and it became such a big national issue because that's when we were talking about we're calling sex offenders up and the protection of predator registry and he was a prime example because you know he was a sex offender with black and white and street known and they used that to write very good questions. So we're covering the trial in a copy. It's all from the bottom. Beth (26:03.672) Trial and it became such a big national issue because that's when we were talking about reforming sex offender laws and sexual predator Registry and he was a prime example because here this You know convicted sex offender was back out of the street now and young ladies lost her life in a very brutal fashion So we're covering the trial in its awful. It's all forms of awful her family's there, you know, there's he was I call him evil. You know, when you meet or see someone who has nothing in their eyes, nothing. And that was him. So covering this child day in, day out, all of the ugliest things you could ever hear in your life happens. And, you know, after we get done with our last shot at night, live shot, and at that time, I was actually doing live shots for CNN and some other people as well. We got word that the verdict was going to come down and be read the next day. Lyndsay Soprano (26:48.25) Yeah. Beth (27:01.933) So we're like, all right, we all got it. We got to go. We went out to the bar to go get something to eat, have a drink. I remember, I remember everybody else. And at this point, all the networks are there, all local. You know, it was crazy. I remember everybody else leaving the bar, you know, but I didn't. I don't know exactly what happened because again, I was a blackout drinker, but somehow I ended out in the parking lot with a strange man. This is what I'm told. And from people. Lyndsay Soprano (27:09.792) This is what I've been told by the media. Beth (27:31.645) and That's what I've been told by yes and You know, it's something happened where I slipped in and I'm sure I be on wasted I don't know if I was drugged But I fell and when I landed just to drive home the sheer impact You know those concrete curbs that you pull your car up to it like the grocery store. Okay That's what I landed on when I landed my mouth was open and I crunched Lyndsay Soprano (27:38.08) You Lyndsay Soprano (27:55.154) Yes, yes, yes, yes. Beth (28:04.242) all of my teeth. I landed, mouth open on the curb. Lyndsay Soprano (28:04.774) All of your teeth. You were officially curbed. But you lived, but you lived because curbing, know what curbing is and it's not pretty. Beth (28:14.566) I was gussered! That's a good one. I... Beth (28:21.591) Yeah, it's not pretty. And I don't even know how I got to the hospital. And I remember parts of it, you know, I remember the hardest I'd look in the nurse's face, so she was checking me in because like, Lyndsay Soprano (28:36.672) I gotta save this bitch from herself like right now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Beth (28:40.446) like someone could put a mold in these teeth and use them for Halloween costumes. It was gnarly. they gave me some pain meds and she said, I'll call. I said, I have to have this fixed. I have to be live on CNN at 8 a.m. The entire country is. Lyndsay Soprano (28:59.078) Yeah, in like 10 seconds fix this now. Beth (29:02.282) And she was like, I will try. So she starts calling a local dentist there in Farndale, North Dakota. And one of them earned his angel weeks that night. In the middle of the night, like two o'clock, he got up and he came to the hospital to take a look at everything. You know, got upset. And then he's like, let's go get you to my clinic. I can get you some temporary teeth, you know, until you get back to Minnesota and then you have to have surgery to go in and, know, have implants put. And he was like, how did you do this? You know, and I couldn't really answer. And he didn't push me up because he the answer. Right. And we Lyndsay Soprano (29:37.681) You Yeah, they've seen a lot. Beth (29:44.979) So I do remember this, he worked on me all night long. And I remember my photographer is like, we got to get you back and change your clothes. You got to be on TV now. you would have thought that would be enough to get me to stop drinking, right? But lo and behold, I went back to the hotel room. It took a shower, slapped a smile on it. And no one was the wiser. Honestly, I mean, people were sitting there watching me on the news, having no idea. what I did the night before and what a disaster my life was at the time. know, and it's interesting because I had an agent and he called me later that afternoon and he was like, man, you're rocking it. You're nailing it. And I think my whole body was still in shock and I was in overdrive, honestly, because that should not have gone like that, you know. Even driving home, which was four or five hours later to get back to the city's Minneapolis. Yeah, my photographer never brought it up. I didn't bring it up. And I've never talked about it again, except for in this book. But I'm like, that should tell you what alcoholism is. You know, something like that doesn't get me to stop drinking. It's really wired deep into my bones. And I need to look at that. Lyndsay Soprano (31:04.582) Yeah, and it is. mean, for me, I know that, I I come from a long line of alcohol. I mean, I don't know anything but alcohol. Nothing, nothing. My husband doesn't drink at all. He never has, he never will, which is great. But, I mean, he acts like he's drunk even when he's not. You're gonna love that, honey. That one's just for you. But the... I have known nothing other than coping with alcohol to get through whatever it might be. When you think about it, it can be a celebration. All right, bust out the bubbly, we're celebrating. Oh, bust out the bubbly, your dad died. I mean, like there's always a reason to do it, to drink it. But with what you have gone through, Beth (31:39.292) yes. Celebrating. Lyndsay Soprano (31:55.904) from a criminal reporter and a very, very, very good reporter, mean, Emmy award winning little lady here, the things that you've seen, the things that you've seen and the things that you've gone through played such a huge part into why you were drinking. And that's one of the things that I find to be where we lose touch Beth (32:03.078) Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Beth (32:16.24) Yes. Lyndsay Soprano (32:23.42) in the aftermath of an event that, course, you you've got this, whatever that tragedy might be, currently right now in the United States of America, we're dealing with a lot of interesting tragedy. But when it comes to your past and your recording and all of that, I mean, you've seen some pretty crazy shit. How could that not affect you and make you... Beth (32:36.902) Right. Beth (32:48.441) Right. Lyndsay Soprano (32:49.652) figure out how to cope and you chose alcohol to do so. But you came from a long line of addicts. Beth (32:56.636) I did. And you know, I didn't know that for a lot of my life to be honest with you, because my, my, my mom and my stepdad, they, didn't have alcohol in the house. They didn't really talk about it. They just, you know, it always urged me to never drink and not a lot of story behind it, but they didn't drink. So it just, wasn't a thing in our house. And it doesn't have to be. And, um, but when I went to treatment, Lyndsay Soprano (33:00.254) Right, right Lyndsay Soprano (33:17.748) Okay, yeah, doesn't have to be. Beth (33:25.272) you and you start to reconstruct your family history and you dig in and I call relatives and kind of get, you know, some better context and history. And, and that's when I learned that both my grandparents, who I'd never met because they were dead before I were born, they died of alcoholism, both of them. So my mom's parents, and my biological father who abandoned us when I was a baby, he had addiction problems, the family says, and he also has severe mental health problems. schizophrenia and manic bipolar. And he, in fact, my uncle, I was in my early 50s before I even learned this. And I can't believe my mother had never told me this too. But I was having dinner with my uncle one time. And he was college roommates with my biological father. And he said, you know, she might never ever tell you that you were abused. And I'm like, what? Lyndsay Soprano (34:18.568) What? Merry Christmas! Beth (34:20.342) No, what? I know, I'm like, what? What are you talking about? No! I know, I wasn't abused, and Lyndsay Soprano (34:28.512) Even your dogs just walked out of the room just now by the way behind you. They're like, uh-uh, honey. Beth (34:31.777) They were like, yeah, they're like, no. I think that she, he said, yeah, he said, you go, you were a baby and you and your family would come stay with us. And he said it was the middle of the night. He said it was the night your father abandoned you too. And we were staying with him and my uncle heard something in the dining room. So he went to go check it out in the middle of the night. And he said, my biological father was throwing me and my diapers up against the wall because he wanted a boy. and it got a girl. so he didn't want me. He didn't want me. And so my uncle, you know, interrupted it, took me out of his arms and he goes, that wasn't the first time that happened to you a lot. And I'm like, I do not believe that. You know, I said, my mother would have told me because we were very close my mom. And he says, yeah, that is he said, when I took you away, that's when your father, you know, pulled went off and Lyndsay Soprano (35:22.492) No, no. Beth (35:30.071) After that night, we never heard from him again. And I do know he died on the streets, because I was able to look that up many years later. So you're hardwired, it's in your system, it's everywhere. I didn't know about some of it. And I'm like, how did I not know some of this? my mother had passed, she'd been gone for a long time, so I just didn't know some of this. Then I had two sisters who were Lyndsay Soprano (35:43.987) Yeah. Lyndsay Soprano (35:49.792) No. Lyndsay Soprano (35:54.056) Yeah, you don't know what you don't know. Beth (35:58.933) drug addicts, one died from an addiction. And then and they were never really home when I was when we were growing up, we didn't really live under the same roof because they were very troubled early on. I think they got a lot of wiring from the biological father. And so they were always in trouble. And I and I'm the youngest and I would sit back and watch them. And I'm like, you know what, let's just do the opposite of what they're doing, because that is not like play. Yeah, that's not fun. They're grounded, they're in trouble, they're whatever all the time. And in and out of detoxes at this point, my parents really, really, really tried. And so, you know, it was just in my head, I never going to do that, because that life is not what I want. I want this life. Well, addiction is what it is, it's gonna, you know, it's gonna wait till the beans get weak, and then it's going in. And so, addictions that have activated and Lyndsay Soprano (36:49.354) Well said. Beth (36:52.287) You know, so kind of knowing all of that. then when I did get fired, because that's what got my attention, my boss did for me what I couldn't do for myself. And what a tough place to put him in. But that's what got my attention. And then you go to treatment and you start doing the history. And I'm like, okay, Beth, you can't drink like this is everywhere in your family, you know? And I think maybe I didn't get that even when my sister died in 2012 from a drug addiction, hardcore drugs. Lyndsay Soprano (37:20.763) Yeah Yeah. Beth (37:21.483) You know, I think I felt like we were different, but we aren't. Addiction is addiction. It's all the brain disease. mean, whatever your drug of choice is, is different. But through all of that, then I'm like, okay, and working with the therapist and seeing the medical why, which I'd never had really taken a hardcore look at before. And then because it speaks to you and I, when I was in treatment too, Lyndsay Soprano (37:42.144) And then, because it speaks to you and I, when I was in treatment too, my friends used to say, that's only drink, and you go from zero to 100. Why is that? And it turns out that women absorb 30 % more alcohol than men whenever you're drinking because they have more fat. Beth (37:47.158) You know, they used to, my friends used to say, Beth, you haven't during can you go from zero to 100? I'm like, like, you know, why? Why is that? And, and it turns out that women absorb 30 % more alcohol than men whenever we're drinking because we have more fat on our bodies and less water and less of an enzyme needed to bring down the alcohol. Well, men have more water. and alcohol dissolves in water. And I'm like, of course men have more water in their bodies than we have more fat. Of course they do. So that would help to explain why I would have the same number of drinks of other people. I'm given, and I'm a reporter, so I like facts, looking at everything. And when you drop an atomic bomb in your life and you actually lose everything, you know. Lyndsay Soprano (38:17.995) Of course they do. Lyndsay Soprano (38:37.088) Yeah. Beth (38:38.29) Like I was homeless. I was looking at bridges to live under because I lost my home too. You know, that I used to think if something hurts enough, it will cause you to change. It's bigger than that. You got to get in there, rewire this stuff deep inside of you. It's not, do consequences hurt? Sure. And I had some after my first DUI, but it didn't hurt enough, did it? And after my second one, when you blow up your own life and implode it, you know, Dennis on YouTube also rectified, I think. Lyndsay Soprano (39:10.172) Yeah, and I mean, when you're talking about, so I mean, people are like, oh, yeah, yeah, you got a DUI, you got a DUI. It's different. Not that it's different with Beth than it is with you that got a DUI, but you were in the limelight. So you had more... an opportunity to change with the first one and you're like, nope, I'm not gonna do that. absolutely denial. And then you went big with the second guy and even still just kind of like, oh my God, like. Beth (39:34.69) And denial, baby, denial. Lyndsay Soprano (39:49.364) Really? Like I have to stop drinking? Is that the problem? It's not all of you and all of the things around me right now. It's not, this cannot be my problem. Right. This can't be, because there, we can blame things happening to us traumatically, right guys? We can, we can blame. Beth (39:53.702) Like, why? Beth (40:00.718) It's me? Right, exactly. Lyndsay Soprano (40:16.896) literally standing on the streets of 9-Eleven and being covered in dust like you were. You could blame that, right, with people that just jumped out of the 127th whatever floor, that one picture that we all know from 9-Eleven of that body flying himself out, he's like, I'm not gonna catch on fire, I'm just jumping out of here. That's right. Beth (40:22.245) Yes, with families. Beth (40:41.666) Yeah, I'm not burning to death. I'm not burning to death. Lyndsay Soprano (40:45.304) Right, and I can tell you one thing right now, I would absolutely be drinking my ass off through anything like that that I would have to see because that is what I was raised to do by modeling from my family, by modeling from my parents, but I did have an opportunity to change that. I did have an opportunity to shift that choice and I'm certainly better than I used to be at it but I'm not great at it. It's a slippery slope man and but like you just said why would not have happened after the first one because you weren't ready. When are we ready? When are we ready? You were ready. What was your ready? Beth (41:20.417) It. Beth (41:32.502) I wasn't ready. Beth (41:40.366) I think my ready is because I did it to myself. And that's really hard to get over. You know, when other people do things to you, you can get mad at them and you can blame them. And I did this to myself. so that was, there's my other dog. He's like, mommy. Lyndsay Soprano (41:50.56) Hmm. Lyndsay Soprano (41:55.498) shore. Lyndsay Soprano (42:04.147) We love weenie dogs in the background. It's a weenie dog show. Beth (42:08.639) And that's what really, really got me because that hit the one thing, the pain point had to be what I loved more than anything. And not just getting fired, but then I call it getting fired twice. First time by my station, the second time by the public. All of that really played into it. And I sat back and I remember I was sitting at the top of my stairs. crying with my dog, just like my tears just passed through the cut. And I'm like, you know, Beth, you're an alcoholic and you have a problem and you know it and you got to deal with it. And if you don't, then that's on YouTube. But you have to deal with it. And I was ready. The time was right. I'd been through enough. And I think I had spent so many years comforting other people through their grief and tragedies and survival and whatever. I never gave myself the time and space to do it because I was hard-targeting, you know, I to work up the next day and go, go, go and another story, another tragedy and keep going. And the time came that I'm like, all right, Beth, it's your reckoning. This time is now, you know. Lyndsay Soprano (43:23.782) It is because, and you and I have spoken about this off air, but it's, you know, we've postponed our own care for others. I know I have always done it and I probably still will always do it. You were already always taking care of your mom, your dad, and then a sister, and then this, and then that, and it went on and on. And then all of sudden you're like, wait, I'm actually worth... Beth (43:43.531) Yeah. Beth (43:51.206) May you. Lyndsay Soprano (43:52.668) I'm actually, yeah, exactly. I'm actually worth putting in work for me and caring for me before I care for you. And that comes from a lot of trauma that comes from a lot of that stuff that we've talked about. mean, it's hard for us to not postpone our own lives to take care of others. And that comes from a very good spot. But in order for us to do that, we tie on a lot of other shit that Beth (44:06.145) Yes. Lyndsay Soprano (44:22.704) And I was like, gross. Well, there's something that you said in your book, and I quote. Beth (44:26.592) Yes. Beth (44:32.565) Okay, go, me. I'm gonna let my dog in real quick. Otherwise, he'll keep barking. Otherwise, he'll keep barking. Lyndsay Soprano (44:35.36) Let your dog in! Let her in! multiple quotes from you, but this one I love so much. Drinking was a full-time diversion from the surging sorrow I tried so hard to hide. Beth (44:55.271) I know, you did read my book. Lyndsay Soprano (44:58.15) I did read your book. Beth (45:00.169) What do you think of that, Mandel? That's pretty deep, Lyndsay Soprano (45:02.618) Yeah, we've got weenie dogs, we've got all kinds of judges in the room and guess what? None of those dogs are judging you because they're puppies and they're amazing. But it is, it is a diversion from sorrow of whatever the fuck it is that we're trying to hide. And I'll tell you, one of the things I've learned about doing this show is I have opened up my mouth about things I would never. Beth (45:12.104) Yeah, isn't it? Lyndsay Soprano (45:29.978) ever have thought that I would have ever shared. And I am so glad that I let go of that sorrow. Beth (45:39.068) yeah! Lyndsay Soprano (45:40.562) And this gave me a space to do it, but it also gave me a space to find people like you that also understand this sorrow. So we don't feel alone in this. Beth (45:53.329) Right, right. Because, you know, addiction can be lonely, especially if you feel trapped, you know, if you don't feel like there's an exit or how do you get get through the tunnel and see the light? It can be very lonely. and the more that I think all of us reach out, you know, this is something probably 10 years ago, none of us really wanted to talk about. I didn't, you know, and you have to be ready. Lyndsay Soprano (45:57.776) Yes! That's Lyndsay Soprano (46:05.93) Yeah. Beth (46:20.445) And sometimes you have to live the ending before you can go back and tell everybody the beginning, you know? And so I had to get through all of that and get to a healthy, safe space. And now I've been sober for 17 years that and I, I have a very dear friend whose dog I'm keeping right now because my friend is in treatment. And, you know, I've watched him struggle these last four years and we've had a few interventions with them and You you ask yourself, can I get what's different about me that I was able to stay sober that he can't. And so you kind of examine that because I want to help him so much stay sober and, and he's a healthcare professional. He wants help. But, know, that's also how you realize this is the brain disease and we have to help each other through it. And I think the world is just so much more open to messy stories now. Lyndsay Soprano (46:56.421) Right. Beth (47:14.726) that we can talk about this and whoever's listening and watching, know, little nuggets, we all take away little nuggets from people that help us in life. And I think if there are some nuggets here, like if my story can help someone else rewrite their own, all the better, you know, I'm here to help you shine because I also believe we can't waste our suffering. You know, I didn't go through all of that for for what to keep it to myself. No, it's to show other people here's how you go and you, you know, Lyndsay Soprano (47:35.136) You know, I didn't go through all of that for, for what? To keep it to myself? No, it's to show other people. You're saying go in and do the inner work, you don't see your staff leaving on the inside and... Beth (47:43.749) do the inner work, you build some new scaffolding on the inside and give life another shot the next day. Lyndsay Soprano (47:52.187) I love the building scaffolding because that is legitimately how I feel my all of our lives are we all have to they when I travel to Europe and I'm in Florence Italy and I'm gonna be the first world person right now talking about my travel but I recently went to Florence and I wanted to see the Duomo and it is Beth (48:16.436) yeah. Lyndsay Soprano (48:19.42) It was at the time, actually a couple years ago when I went to Florence for this, and I couldn't see it because it was under construction. We're all under construction here, guys, all right? So it's okay to put up a little drapes and some curtains and some, like work on ourselves, but don't put so much pressure on us, because we get it everywhere. We get it from like every app. Beth (48:32.9) Yes. Lyndsay Soprano (48:47.1) every filter, we should be better than we are, we should look prettier than we are, we shouldn't have gone through the things that we've gone through, we shouldn't have, we shouldn't have, we shouldn't have. I don't know what you guys are thinking, but no matter what the shit I have been through that has happened to me and things that I have done as well, I have no regrets. Beth (48:50.693) Thank Beth (49:10.882) Yeah. Lyndsay Soprano (49:16.276) None because it shaped who I am how I believe and who I want to put myself into this world Which is to help others which is what you and I beth and I are doing here today with you We all get a second a third a fourth a fifth whatever the amount of chances Just like don't get it up to like the 10s and 12s. Okay guys like let's get focused But we're here we Beth (49:24.068) I don't know. Yes. Beth (49:30.466) Yes. Beth (49:41.77) You know. Lyndsay Soprano (49:42.832) Yeah, we're here because we all are human beings. We all fail, we all falter, and we do it over and again. Whatever, you know, your ailment is, whether it's gambling, or it's shopping, or it's sex and drugs and rock and roll, whatever it is, enjoy doing it, stay alive. But at the same time, let's learn some lessons and let's Beth (49:50.083) Lyndsay Soprano (50:10.876) let's help other people through their journeys because Beth, man, your book is amazing. Can we talk just a quick minute about your book? Because you titled it Stand By and I like the title of your book. I'd like you to quick talk about your book a little bit and why you came up with that title for it. Beth (50:19.553) YAMIS! Mm-hmm. Beth (50:30.613) Yeah, well, standby, know, maybe a turn that you're familiar with, right? And it's kind of that moment of when you're suspended in limbo and you're, what's next? You're waiting. It's that moment, you know, and for us, and everyone wears earbuds now, you know, but in television news, we have a particular earpiece that the control room talks with us when we're live out at the scenes of, you know, whatever disaster. Lyndsay Soprano (50:40.978) Yup. Beth (50:56.673) And you'll hear the control room saying you're okay. Get ready. That's standby, right? Standby, be ready for whatever's next. So that's kind of the point of that is for anyone in your life. Just, you know, the standby be ready for next whatever's next. And I started writing the book. I was actually in house arrest for six weeks. And I lived alone. That's a lot of time to be up in your head and have a lot of time to yourself. And as a reporter and a writer, You know, I thought, me just, you know, they say journal, you're always told to journal. And I thought, my God, I journaled for a living, I'm your reporter. Yeah. So I didn't want to write anymore, but I watched out the, right. So I looked at my computer and I'm like, let me just start, you know, putting some things down that happened to me to make me someday. I actually didn't think about a book, but I thought they might help me get through this better. You know, cause I was losing everything in my life. was an absolute disaster. Lyndsay Soprano (51:36.308) They're friends. Beth (51:54.688) and family members included. And yeah, so I started writing because not to tell a story, I feel like I was writing to survive my own. And so I started putting some things together and just things I've learned and experienced and stuff you learn from medical professionals like women are at more risk with alcohol. And also to realize recovery. Lyndsay Soprano (51:58.24) Yeah, so I started writing because... Beth (52:25.153) You can't just keep and this is what I did before, but you can't keep repairing the cracked foundation. I mean, if you're going to keep repairing, you know, it's putting, what is it, lipstick on a pig. You can't, you can't keep painting over a chip 12. That's not going to get better. And it's going to crumble again, which is what happened. And it's what happened to me. And so I really believe that you have to get in there and recovery kind of takes the form of reconstruction in that. Okay. Lyndsay Soprano (52:31.662) Hmm Beth (52:54.204) We know that you and I just can't say no to a drink. We don't have that capability because it'll creep back in at some point. So you've got to rebuild the stuff inside of you. So you know, to replace and so you don't want that drink and figure out, you know, it's a shame. Of course, it's resilience. It's a whole bunch of things, but you've got to rebuild the framework inside. So class doesn't even become an issue again. Lyndsay Soprano (53:24.38) Yeah, yeah. And it's hard for us to do, it's hard for us to do as humans because we're all so different and we're all shaped so different and we've experienced life in so many different ways. And the things that make us stronger make the other person weaker, you know, like, but at the end of the day, Beth (53:25.919) You know, I gotcha. Beth (53:45.18) Right. Lyndsay Soprano (53:48.8) You said it earlier that it is hard to be selfish. And it is. And us women in particular get it terribly like, oh God, no, I am gonna be a selfish human being. I'm gonna be a selfish woman. I'm going to empower other women. I'm gonna empower myself. I am going to empower men. I'm gonna empower trans. I'm gonna empower whoever I possibly can. Beth (53:52.755) Yes. Beth (54:09.276) Yes. Lyndsay Soprano (54:17.536) for this conversation, but we all handle trauma differently. We all cope differently. For this particular episode, Beth and Lindsay are talking about alcohol because that's our favorite thing. She's been sober for 17, I've been sober, the longest I've been was six months, but that was not recently. And you know, Beth (54:29.842) Right. Beth (54:43.944) But it's six months, that's a start. Lyndsay Soprano (54:45.856) That's, yeah. Well, I'm not trying to stop drinking. I'm just trying to understand it a little bit more. And I, yeah. Beth (54:52.542) Yeah, alcohol isn't a problem for everyone, but for those of us it is a problem, when it's a problem. Lyndsay Soprano (54:56.864) Right, right, right. Well, and I'm not saying that it's not a problem. It is. But there's a lot of coping mechanisms that I do that are far worse than that. legitimately, legitimately, and it's not drugs or alcohol, it is straight up like needing to have everything in its space all the time. OCD is the... Beth (55:09.36) Okay. Lyndsay Soprano (55:25.741) craziest thing on the planet. Beth (55:29.72) Wow. huh. huh. Yeah. Lyndsay Soprano (55:30.228) That comes with its own fricking bells and whistles, guys. Let me tell you, and it ruins relationships. OCD. So we all have the things that we cope through, but we all have a place here, certainly here at the Pain Game podcast, because that's what we're here for. And every single one of my guests always answers questions and always reaches out to everybody that's reached out to them. And so thank you for doing that, Mike. Beth (55:48.102) Yes. Lyndsay Soprano (55:58.686) VIP listeners. So before we leave, is there anything that you'd like to leave before we, with our listeners, before we hit the dusty trail here? Beth (56:07.258) Yeah, you know, yes, I would like to say that, you know, you can go from shame to shine, you know, you look at you and I kiss it shame really holds people back. And that's probably the number one thing that I'm asked by, you know, people, when I'm at a book tour, or at events, they're always like, how did you get over the shame? And I understand that. Lyndsay Soprano (56:16.521) Mmm. Beth (56:34.667) And to that end, I spoke recently at Hazelton Betty Ford, which is where I went to treatment in Minnesota back in the day. And after I got done, a woman came up to me, she's falling in and she said, thank you for sharing everything because I go deep. I don't gloss over anything. And she said, this is my fourth time back here this year. And she said, I'm just really I don't know how to do it. And I said, well, let me stop you there. And I go, you keep coming back. So something tells me that inside of you, you want better. People don't keep coming back if they're trying to get worse or if they're happy where they are, they're going to stay there, you know? And I said, don't look at it like, why do you keep coming back? You keep coming back because you're trying to get better. I mean, that's awesome. That's you want a healthier life. You want to not be dependent on alcohol. So look at it like you keep coming back and keep trying. One of these days, It's going to work. It's going to stick. Maybe it's this time. We don't know. Stick it through, you know? Lyndsay Soprano (57:40.422) Yeah, and leaving the shame at the curb because none of us are perfect. So if any of you guys think that you're perfect, that's listening to this episode right now. You guys can just bounce and not listen ever again. Beth (57:54.073) Yeah. Lyndsay Soprano (57:55.488) Because you are not welcome here. Nobody is perfect. And but we are all beautiful souls and we are all here on this planet. We don't know what we're doing. This is just this is all just an exercise. None of us know. We're trying to figure it out. We're trying to do the best that we can. We fell into the jobs that we fell into. We go after the things that make us so incredibly powerful within us. Beth (57:59.506) No, exactly. Beth (58:12.983) Yes. Lyndsay Soprano (58:25.374) That's why I wake up and I do this show every day. And this is why I bring people like Beth to us today for you. And she's a badass and she has been in some dark and twisty places. So have I. Good God, it's terrible having sex in a bar when you're drunk with a random stranger. Okay. Beth (58:45.496) I would know what you're talking about. Lyndsay Soprano (58:48.848) What do you mean? I don't know what you're talking about. Yes, you all do. All of you do so you can leave your judgment at the door. Beth (58:52.823) Yes, we do. And at least you remember it. Lyndsay Soprano (59:03.134) That is true. Yeah, you were a blacker outer. I was not, but that's okay. That's okay. We all have our, you know, all have our strong suits. Beth (59:08.426) That's okay! Beth (59:13.622) I just want I want to say one of the things I just want people to know too because this was really hard for me You know being a strong person people are strong in this world asking for help doesn't make you weak it amplifies the amount of help and resources and people who people will help people who help themselves and I just You know and people Just leave the judgment at the door Lyndsay Soprano (59:13.92) All right, my little toots. Lyndsay Soprano (59:34.624) Mm-hmm. Beth (59:42.772) when people make it a safe space so they will go and get the help. then they'll turn around and do what we do, which is trying to help other people too and pull others through the tunnel and see the light. Lyndsay Soprano (59:55.41) Yeah, 100%. If you think that you don't need help in your life, I don't, I just, I don't even know how that's possible. We all need help. That's what we're here for. There's no reason for us to be having these conversations if we didn't think that we needed to lean upon each other. Beth (01:00:08.169) Yes. Beth (01:00:16.231) Right and at some point, you know, this has really become about I love the connection with regular everyday people us we're kind of And experts have their place in the world, right? but We don't always want to be lectured or preached to and we've all been battle tested Street tested. Let's share what we learned in the everyday of life with each other, right? Lyndsay Soprano (01:00:18.944) Lyndsay Soprano (01:00:32.399) Yes, yes. Yep. Lyndsay Soprano (01:00:42.121) Mm-hmm, we sure have. And it is time for us to shine. Beth (01:00:49.023) I like what you did there. I like what you did there. You're good. Lyndsay Soprano (01:00:50.72) Ha! All right, well you can find this gorgeous little lady, Beth, everywhere. She's on Facebook, she's on Insta, she's on YouTube. Her website is Beth. If you can't spell Beth, then you've got other problems. Bethmcdmedia.com. But her book is called Stand By, and it is a picture of her gorgeous self and her mugshot, which by the way looks nothing. Beth (01:00:58.067) Mm. Beth (01:01:24.072) Yeah. Lyndsay Soprano (01:01:24.416) like her, which is what's interesting about all of the places that we find ourselves. Beth (01:01:32.59) The cover kind of speaks to the two sides of addiction, right? Lyndsay Soprano (01:01:36.544) Yes, it certainly does. And as a Gemini, I feel like that is me every day. So it's certainly fun. Thank you so much for being here with me today, my darling. This has been wonderful. She just bowed at me in case you weren't watching. And I love that bow down to Lindsay Soprano and the pain. Beth (01:01:46.196) I hear him. Thank you. I... I... Beth (01:01:59.942) You Lyndsay Soprano (01:02:00.764) No, no, no, don't do that. If Rachel, if you're putting that in the video, don't. Thank you so much, my sweetheart. It has been lovely to get to know you and thank you for being here with us. I really appreciate it. Beth (01:02:13.577) Ditto, it's been a blast to connect with you. You're super cool. Keep it going. Lyndsay Soprano (01:02:17.734) I'm super cool and you guys are exclusively invited to share this beauty of be ready for whatever is next standing by VIP pain journey together. Let's get to the heart of how to keel with you by my side. Please follow the pain game podcast wherever you digest your podcast content. We will be there. Visit us at the pain game podcast.com and follow us on all the socials. Thanks for listening, my little VIPs. I will catch you on the other side. All right, girlfriend, we did it. Beth (01:02:54.324) That was so fun.