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713. Navigating Conflict: Turning Disagreements into Opportunities (rerun) · Daily Influence

• 0:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: Welcome to Daily Influence, your daily dose of positive influence.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: I'm Brian Smith founder of IA Business Advisors and co-author of the Iain team series.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: Each day we share stories and insights to help you find be and build your influence in a positive and responsible way.
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  [SPEAKER_00]: And I'm Greg Clino, partner at IE Business Advisors, and co-host of Daily Influence.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: Hey everybody, Brian Smith here with the iM team series and your daily influence today we are going to talk about navigating conflict and turning disagreement and opportunities in you know this happens throughout our professional lives where we have to navigate through different conflicts that we have in our life and it can be really
• 1:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: is anxiety, it creates some discourse sometimes within our areas of influence.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: Usually, it's just stemming from different perspectives or maybe unmet expectations that we have.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: Oftentimes those expectations, our due to different perspectives, different perspectives of what was asked or what was anticipated.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: really what's important when we feel this way is first understanding that each person is contributing to what is happening.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: And it's not really a fault thing that we should be worried about.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: It should be getting through the disagreement, not assigning fault, but finding common ground.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: And especially within our professional lives, when we can find that common ground, we can start working
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  [SPEAKER_01]: through the issues and we each have something to contribute.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: Obviously, if there's conflict is a conflict for a reason and understanding those viewpoints, why we're in this space again, not by the fault, but
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  [SPEAKER_01]: what caused it, listening to each other, being an active listener, listening to learn, asking clarifying questions.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: If the conflict is about not meeting expectations, understanding and defining those expectations is really important.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: Uncover what the shared perspective was or
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  [SPEAKER_01]: wasn't.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: Asking for focus asking for clarification will get us through the conflict.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: When emotions start to arise, oftentimes you can ask, you know, why is this making you so emotional?
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  [SPEAKER_01]: What is it that's causing that emotion?
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  [SPEAKER_01]: And when you do that from a position of empathy or curiosity, if you are the one who's on the opposite side of the emotion, you can try to call that down or slow
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  [SPEAKER_01]: It's not a roadblock.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: It's actually an opportunity to grow together, to learn how you can communicate better together, to learn about how your communication isn't working and then develop ways to make it work and that takes us two ways to make communication and collaboration within our areas of influence work properly and quite literally for us that is a plimes smart
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  [SPEAKER_01]: principles to what you're dealing with.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: And what do I mean by that is is what you can apply smart to conflict resolution.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: You can ask for specifics.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: Get to the specifics of what's causing the emotion.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: What was expected.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: What are perceptions are if there's measurements involved if we missed a date if we missed.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: a mark that was supposed to be gotten some level of sales or a certain amount of work that needed to be done.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: make sure that's clearly defined.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: Was what our expectation was either for ourselves or from the other person's perspective attainable and if it wasn't, how was that not conveyed earlier prior to we got to this point?
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  [SPEAKER_01]: And is it relevant?
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  [SPEAKER_01]: Is what we're going through relevant to achieving goals or expectations?
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  [SPEAKER_01]: And then, you know, it's just the right time.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: Oftentimes in conflict, this isn't the right time to be dealing with an issue.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: And it's okay to say, you know, right now, I'm not in the right mindset to resolve this in a way that's going to move us forward.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: So how about if we revisit this in a moment, an hour, a day, whatever that might be.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: One of the last things is,
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  [SPEAKER_01]: collaboration.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: And what do I mean by that is, is how can we use conflict to bring people together?
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  [SPEAKER_01]: How can we take different views that oftentimes can be frustrating to people and come together understanding that?
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  [SPEAKER_01]: one to many of us could be emotional about a topic or a position or an issue, but stay focused on what it is we're trying to resolve, what it is we're trying to get to.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: When we come together in difficult situations, I think it's important to put on the table early, where is it we want to be at the end of this?
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  [SPEAKER_01]: And you can't say why I want you just to agree with me because my
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  [SPEAKER_01]: a healthy place to start is understanding where everybody is at the moment, understanding where we need to be as a team, and understanding how we can get there and what the barriers are.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: Sharing strategy, sharing tactic, sharing experience that is pertinent to the area of influence you find yourself is also really good.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: trying to stay on neutral ground as you're discussing with your team members the different aspects that might be causing conflict can be helpful.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: And agreeing that we're going to try not to be judgmental to help people communicate how they share their experiences, how they may struggle with communication because the stress levels high, they don't communicate as well as others, helping them by asking them questions that are specific, helping them to communicate better,
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  [SPEAKER_01]: what we see people that are in this place, where they're having difficulty, it becomes collaboration when we can ask questions or do things that will guide them through the process.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: If they're struggling through their emotion, if they're struggling through the details, if they're struggling through specifics or identifying measurements or even understanding
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  [SPEAKER_01]: by asking proper questions, putting things into context for them so they have better or clear understanding and using real-life examples that
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  [SPEAKER_01]: illustrate how you can move them from point A to point B in a discussion or disagreement.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: When we do this constructively and objectively, we can come up with some pretty amazing collaborative agreements and solutions to big problems in the organizations and teams we find ourselves.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: So I really can't emphasize enough that when you find yourself having conflict in your
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  [SPEAKER_01]: work to get through the emotion, call out what is causing the emotion as early as you can and tackle that.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: And again, not by placing blame, but by talking through the details of the topic at hand.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: Stick to the topic.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: Don't allow for digression to happen, steer it back to the topic, whatever, and as you're trying to get to the bottom of.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: And they will help you to align together.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: to stay on task and to collaborate and to turn actually conflict into collaboration and you will have positive and responsible influence on each other and you'll move forward together and you will see that as you do this and practice this through small or large areas of influence that might have conflict in them that you get better and better at it.
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  [SPEAKER_01]: I hope you have a great day and we'll