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What is Conscious Parenting? · RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Today's episode is produced by my friends at WalkWest.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: If you're looking to grow your brand and generate leads through podcast or video production, head over to walkwest.com.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, let's start the show.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_01: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_01: From emotional intelligence through cognitive distortions, certified life and wellness coach Comedy Wood is on a mission to help people see the magnificence of their own unique human spirit.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: Through these small bites of self-visation and self-confidence, you can have healthy relationships, success in business and career, and live the life you want to live.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: Hi there, and welcome to another episode of Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: Whether it's morning, afternoon, or evening, when you've chosen to tune in to this episode, I want to say thank you.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for taking some time out of your day to spend with me.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: And today I want to talk a little bit about conscious parenting.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: When those of you who know me know that I have five children myself.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: I call them children, of course, they're not all little kids anymore.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: My oldest is in her 20s, and then my youngest is about to hit her double digits for the first time.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: She's turning 10 this year.
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  SPEAKER_00: But one of the things that I talk a lot about is parenting and the fact that we don't, as parents, there is no manual for it.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: But there is this term of conscious parenting.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: And so I want to just talk you through what is the idea behind conscious parenting, and then just some topics around conscious parenting.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: So when you think about your own parenting style, it's important to not just look at your style, but also pay attention to how you show up as a parent in different dynamics with your child.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's true that when you're a parent, you for the most part want what's best for your children.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: You want them to be happy, you want them to be healthy, you want them to figure out what it is that fulfills them.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: And so we're, as parents, we're constantly trying to teach our children certain skills and responsibilities so that they can be successful for the challenges that life will present.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: And one thing that I want to emphasize here is that there's no one way to parent.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: We have to give ourselves permission to figure out our way to parent.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: However, it's also important to take a look at certain aspects of our parenting style.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like for instance, when you're in a good mood, you're more likely to maybe get down on their level and have a conversation with them.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: And when you're in a bad mood or stressed out, you might not have the patience to actually truly engage with them to figure out what's happening for them if something isn't going well and you might find yourself snapping.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: So conscious parenting is about this idea that encourages you as a parent to show up mindfully, right?
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: So in the present moment and to come from a place of emotional intelligence when interacting with your children and when making decisions about raising your children.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: The idea behind the approach is parenting is for parents to look inwards with uh inwards and start with themselves, understanding what might still be a story or a narrative for you as a parent, kind of doing that work for yourself so that when you are raising your children, those old stories and maybe old beliefs that are not in service don't get projected onto your children.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: So when it comes to parenting, again, there's no hard and fast rule of this is right and that's wrong.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, it's each parent having the autonomy to develop their own style based on their own past experiences.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: But instead of projecting their past experiences, it's have you done the work for yourself to understand what those experiences meant for you and how have you grown through them so that when you are raising your children, you are able to fully listen to where they are, recognize that they are their own person, and come to a place of being fully present with them so that you can understand their thoughts, emotions, and actions rather than projecting your old story or narrative onto them.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: So, how do we do this?
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: One of the things that we talk a lot about when working with my clients on parenting is doing your own work is extraordinarily important.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: Understanding where your holdbacks are, where those false beliefs are for yourself is so important because if we don't do that work, we subconsciously will project that onto our kids and even onto other people that we're in relationship with.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: So it's really important to take the time to do your own inner work and understanding yourself on that deeper level.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: Because when that foundation is solid, then when you're in interaction with your children, you're coming from that whole place rather than almost trying to fulfill certain aspects through through your children.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: Another really important thing when you're working on becoming a conscious parent is compassion.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: One of the best ways to employ this idea of conscious parenting is to have compassion for yourself.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: So self-compassion and compassion for your child.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: So the very first part is important here, self-compassion.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: Understand kindness over judgment will take you much farther in being a conscious parent than when you judge yourself and you put yourself down.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: Because the moment that inner critic starts, that's when you're starting that process of judgment.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: And when we're in judgment of ourselves, it's very difficult to show up in a present way with our children because in that moment we're actually going through this process of shaming ourselves.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: Likewise, it's important to have compassion for your children, understanding that they are going through their own emotions, they have their own thoughts, they are really their own person, and having space for them to express that is really important.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: Another one is boundaries, setting boundaries again for yourself and for your child, right?
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  SPEAKER_00: So having boundaries around when you're going to engage in a conversation, for instance.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: So if you know that you've had a really stressful day at work and you are your window of you are outside of your window of tolerance, setting a personal boundary around giving yourself some time to decompress before engaging in that conversation with your children is extraordinarily important.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: Because if we don't set that personal boundary and we don't adhere to it, we might end up saying something to our child that we don't even mean to say.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: They're actually just getting the other end of the spectrum of the fact that we're outside of our window of tolerance.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: We are stressed out about something completely different, but they internalize what we snapped about as something about themselves.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: And so, and here's the truth: once we say something, we can't take it back.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: They can't unhear the stuff that we say.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: So setting those boundaries for yourself is really important, as it is for setting boundaries for your children.
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  SPEAKER_00: You know, making sure that they understand what's okay and what's not okay is meant to actually keep the relationship healthy.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's not meant to be, you know, some type of uh barrier between you and them.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's not building a wall, it's it's allowing space to communicate this is okay, that's not okay, so that you guys can create a healthier relationship with each other.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: These are just some examples of what it means to be a conscious parent.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, if you are interested in talking more about parenting and working through some of your parenting challenges challenges, by all means.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: If you'd like to discuss what that could look like from a coaching perspective, feel free to reach out to me anytime at coachwithcomedy.com.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: And until next time, stay well.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for listening to Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_01: For more information, book a chat with comedy at www.chatwithcomedy.com or visit her website at www.comedywood.com.
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  SPEAKER_01: You can also find comedy on Facebook or Instagram.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_01: Username it's authentic me.
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  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for listening.