Latest / Chirping Zebras / PAUL NARDIZZI | Chirping Zebras Podcast | Ep #119

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PAUL NARDIZZI | Chirping Zebras Podcast | Ep #119 · Chirping Zebras

• Mark Riley: Welcome everyone to Chirping Zebras, Mark Riley, virtually a song alongside my guest host, Paul Nardizzi, comedian, writer, and actor filling in for Gene Bender. How you doing, Paul? Geno Binda: you Paul: Great to see you, Mark. Thanks for having me on. I'm a I'm a host tonight, huh? I thought it was a guest. Mark Riley: Well, you're a guest host, so you're a little bit of a guest and a little bit of a host. Gino ⁓ Gino is on vacation and ⁓ so he'll be back with us ⁓ probably in two weeks. And so ⁓ I've been wanting to get you back on. You were on once before, back on our first live show, ⁓ up at the China Blossom at Wicked Funny Comedy Club. And ⁓ so I've been wanting to get you back on. Paul: All right. Big cues to film. I remember it well. I remember it well, and I'm filling in for a guy who's been refing many, many games, and I've refed a grand total of one game in my life. A ref didn't show up. And so each each coach had to do half the game. And I w I walked away, told my kids I will never do do that again. I hate him. Mark Riley: Yeah. Gotcha. I rem I remember you telling that story. No one was happy with you. Paul: No. Both teams. You know you suck when both teams are pissed at you. It's hard, but I w I respect I respect refs. It is very hard. Because you think you know the game, but when you're out there you realize I don't know it like I don't I don't know it in the moment. I know it after or before. It's it's very hard to make calls on the moment. Mark Riley: Or you called a really good game. Right. Well, is challenging. ⁓ before we really get into it, want to thank our sponsor, the referees, Krees, your one-stop shop, for all your refereeing needs, from training and scheduling to payment. They do it all. Wanna also give a shout out to AOA Studios up in Beverly. ⁓ we'll be back up there ⁓ sooner than you think. And also want to remind you to l like and subscribe on YouTube and follow us on all the social medias, the Instagram, the Facebook, and of course, the TikTok. ⁓ And ⁓ you can go online and find some merch at tripping zebras dot com. So we got the business out of the way. ⁓ I I wanted to have you on during the World Cup because you're a soccer guy and we've, you know, joked with each other about that. But I I gotta tell you, I got so into the World Cup, I'm a soccer guy now. Yeah. Yeah. Paul: Go in. Really? I did I did see you, I don't know, doing crowd work or something. It was a funny bit and you were saying I've been watching, but go forwards. Why are you always passing backwards? Soccer is a b ⁓ much more backward passing than any other sport for sure. But think about it. In basketball, you do pass back away from the hoop a lot. You don't call it a back pass, but you are passing from the corner out to the prim. It's similar. You're just trying to Mark Riley: Yeah. Yeah. Paul: Find the spots, the open spaces and and it's that but it was that was a funny bit. I wanted that bit. Sell it to me. Mark Riley: ⁓ you know what? I ⁓ well, a a good friend of ours, PJ Thibodeau, good friend of ⁓ both yourself, myself, and the show, he got me into it. I actually watched a match between Arsenal and Man City and during the season it was like a you know, to determine the championship or something. And I got into it and the the World Cup was just so cool 'cause everyone was so into it. I mean, you know, aside from the Tartan Army, which, you know, I got to meet some of them, but everyone, it was just such a cool event. And ⁓ look I there are style parts of soccer I'm you know, I'm a little shaky on, but ⁓ I I gotta say it won me over. Paul: Yeah. I mean I watched literally every game except the last one, which I've never done is skip the final, but I skipped the final. 'Cause I knew it was gonna be Yeah, I didn't I knew it was gonna be a mess. I went to my dad's house, there were twenty of them in the other room, they're all screaming and yelling at the TV, and I'm in the other room and I'm I don't wanna be in there. You guys are acting like idiots. This this game is a disaster. And I told him there's gonna be a red card, a guy's probably gonna get his leg broken. That almost happened. Mark Riley: Really? On purpose? Yeah. Paul: So I just didn't want to be in that stress cauldron. But I was I was Mark Riley: No. What overall w what were your thoughts on, you know, the tournament and you know, kind of i overall, what were your thoughts on it? ⁓ you know, as a true soccer guy, I mean, you had to enjoy it. Paul: Yeah, I mean initially I wasn't happy that they allowed extra teams in. I thought it was too easy of a path. But because that increased the scoring, because big big club, big countries were playing smaller ones and the scoring was up, I have to admit they were exciting games. So that added to that. But then once it got down to like the top sixteen, I started to I was just ignoring all the garbage about Argentina getting all the calls and being favored. But then as it got towards the end, I started to lean the other way and say, I'm I can't I can't deny what my eyes are seeing. I see why people are claiming this. It was it was very obvious. From little things like fouls that should be called to things like the play stops and the other team wants to put it down quick and the guy kicks the ball into the stance. Mark Riley: Mm-hmm. Paul: Not just kicks it away a little bit, into the stands and doesn't get a yellow card. So as a ref, that's just an obvious yellow, and when they wouldn't give it to him because they were afraid of that yellow back to back games, he's out for the next game thing, I said, All right, ⁓ I'm against this team. I can't root for this anymore. So that's why I wanted Spain to win, but I didn't wanna I didn't wanna actually watch it. But I was glad they won. Mark Riley: Yeah, I thought it was pretty obvious that i it well it seemed as if FIFA wanted Argentina to go back to back and have Messi win it. And of course, you know, l a lot of people are saying, well, Messi's playing, more people are watching. But you know, you impugn the integrity of the game by, you know, not giving the red card that he deserved in that one game. And, you know, all these calls that ⁓ I think one game had like thirty two fouls that weren't called against Argentina or something crazy like that. You know, not necessarily yellow cards, but like, you know, just you know, awarding the ball and stuff. It it got pretty ridiculous. And I was pretty happy that that Spain won as well. Paul: Yeah, I mean I predicted they were gonna win in the beginning too, so I was happy to see that. See I r I wrote for Barcelona, that's sort of my favorite team, and their starting lineup of Spain is probably six or seven Barcelona players, so they have that advantage. They're playing together every week and then when they go into rapport for their national team they're they're clicking already when they get there. So that helps. Mark Riley: Yeah, it was it it's interesting for me in that these it like guys who you see it in all star games, right? Guys who play against each other are now playing with each other. ⁓ and it just adds that kind of cool dynamic. Paul: Yeah. That was right. There was a lot of that, two guys in the same club who then are in a World Cup game playing against each other and they're covering each other and they're going at it pretty hard and and you're saying yourself, I thought these two liked each other. Well they do, but not not today. Mark Riley: Or against each other too. Teammates playing against each other. No. I I was impressed. So I became Erland Holling Holland fan. You know, I actually liked him when I saw that match with the Man City match in Arsenal. I was like, who is this guy? And I called PJ right away. I was like, who is this mammoth of a man that is just dominating this game? I just an incredible player. And you see, like athletes like that that really kind of blew up a little bit. in, you know, the more mainstream in that, you know, guys like me, a non soccer guy, all of a sudden, you know, I see these athletes and I'm like, Wow, this this dude is unreal. Paul: Yeah. You, PJ, and I have to go watch a game sometime. Either a live game or on TV. But Holland reminds me of a guy, he was a kid at the time, ⁓ from Bridgewater that I played with for one summer on sort of a select team. We went out to California and he was already known when we got out there because he was one of the leading scorers in the nation. I think he was the all-time high school leading scorer at the time. And You wouldn't notice him the whole game. So after the game I recall a couple of guys saying, Told you the guy wasn't that good. Just Sheridan, you whatever. And I said, We beat you two to one and he had both goals. Yes, you barely noticed him. But that's his job. Sometimes I wa I'm I'm I'm a Man City fan as well as Barcelona, so I watch both of those teams every weekend. There are games where you say, Harland didn't do anything today. He didn't even touch the ball. Mark Riley: Yeah. Paul: But at the end it'll get a header or or just pick one off and put one in the net. It's hard to score. It's a really hard sport to score in. So as long as you do that, it it really doesn't matter at the end of the day. And he does that consistently. Mark Riley: So a really cool video that had compared him to Alexander Ovechkin on the power play. And how they both kind of like, you know, are just lulling around, kind of killing time, not really doing much. And then all of a sudden, when the puck or the ball is available, boom, it's in the net. Paul: Yeah. So vetkin's still playing? Mark Riley: It was ⁓ he he played last year. ⁓ pr ⁓ it it still I don't think he actually officially retired or not. ⁓ that's he was kinda up in the air last year. But it was just interesting to kinda see that comparison. They played the, you know, video on top of the video and it it was like, wow, that that's a great comparison. Paul: Is a Vachkin still scoring goals at at the age of what, forty, forty one? Really? Mark Riley: ⁓ yeah. Yeah, he's he he is an absolute beast. The guy is just incredible. Incredible. One thing that you know, I bust you know, I bust your balls about soccer in the past. And ⁓ you know, ⁓ flopping aside, I wanna talk about that, but it's far more physical of a game than I kind of Thought it was, I'll be honest, especially with the corner kicks and in the box and all the, you know, kind of joust and elbowing and stuff. Pretty physical game. I gotta I gotta admit I was wrong on that one. Paul: Yeah. Yeah, it's for me, i I still play, I'm a hundred and sixty pounds. It it hurts a lot. There's places you have to go in the field that hurt. Ball's coming to you and the guys behind you, you know you when you receive that you have to stop and he's gonna keep coming. You know you're gonna take a shot there. And usually the guy's two ten usually covering in the back, so I go flying a lot. Mark Riley: Now you you don't flop though. Paul: I'm not a flopper, but ⁓ I think we get a bad rap on flopping too. I'm not saying no one flops, but ⁓ just saying that in soccer, unlike your sport or unlike football or basketball, where you're on two feet all the time. If you're shooting, you're on two feet, passing, you're on two feet in soccer, you always have one leg planted and the other leg's behind you looking to direct the ball. So If anyone's listening at home, stand on one leg on a pillow, which would be the equivalent of a grassy field. It's not completely level. You're not going to stay up that long. And if I come by and push you, you're going over. I don't care if you're 220 and I just slightly push you, you're falling off the pillow. It's really hard to stand on one leg, especially your weak balanced leg. So if if you're right footed and you're standing on your left foot, that's you have decent balance. But if you have to stand on your right foot, you your balance is junk. Mark Riley: I've never heard anyone kind of describe it like that. It's true. Paul: I I read that I don't know, ten, fifteen years ago and I said, Why isn't this output out there, Mo, and everyone rags on us for flopping? It is true. We're on one leg. Mark Riley: See, I don't I my problem not necessarily with the amount of people hitting the turf, right? It's when they get bumped and go down and grab their shins like they just got shot by a sniper. And then next thing you know, they pop up and they're running down the field. And it's like, come on, man, just like I'm okay with you falling over, but get up, you know? Paul: Yeah. That I'm not gonna defend. I I agree. I there's a funny clip where the red card happens in the Spain game in the final. I don't know if you saw this. So he gives the guy the red, which is a clear second yellow for tripping, then that guy went flying in the air and landed on his back. Well Messi goes up to him and says, What about this over here? And he's pointing to his teammate. Well they zeroed in on that after the game. That guy there was no one around him. So I rewound about ten minutes back to see if Mark Riley: ⁓ yeah. Paul: There was any incident with him to see maybe his leg was hurting? I mean, no one went near this guy for ten minutes. And then he just dropped and they all went you gotta t you gotta address this down here. Embarrassed. Really embarrassing. Mark Riley: Nothing. Yeah, that was bad. ⁓ I remember that video now. ⁓ it was out there on the socials and it was like he just literally fell over with no one near him inside of grabbing his leg. Paul: Yeah. Right. Something must have happened to this guy. Come on, Rap. Mark Riley: Right. the ⁓ the celebration, you know, with with Argentina, I mean I I was disgusted by it with, you know, the whole the fighting stuff and all that. Your thoughts on that and also like turning their backs to Spain, was that as big a deal as a lot of people made it or 'cause I I don't in soccer, I don't know, like in hockey, right, if the ⁓ like If the team didn't shake hands after a playoff round, that would be pretty disrespectful. But I don't know what typically typically happens in the World Cup when the trophy is awarded. Paul: Well again I'm gonna have to say I was in the other room when all this happened. Little But if I w were to ask the people in that room, they would all say nothing to see here, I think. I don't tend to watch celebrations. I don't know if typic I I in fact someone told me that the other team usually goes in the dressing room and isn't even out there. So for us to point a finger saying, How can you turn your back? Well at least we were out here, I'm fine with that. But Mark Riley: But you have to see it. Paul: As far as the fighting goes, yeah, that that's pretty poor. That's that's their sort of track record recently when they when they when they don't win is they don't behave well. Mark Riley: No, w the I I'd love to get your thoughts on the whole Bulligan incident. When he gets the red card, which I mean, you know, you can argue whether or not it was or it should have been called or should have been handled the right way. I heard that you're not supposed to use if there's no call on the field, you're not supposed to use frame by frame or slow motion and they did and to give him the yell the red card. ⁓ but then, you know The whole rescinding it and letting them play, I I just thought that was such a bad look for everyone. Paul: Yeah. Whether or not whether or not it was a red, I thought it was a red just from watching it. Slow motion or fast motion. ⁓ but then when he was out, ⁓ you probably thought the same thing when someone said he's actually gonna be allowed to play it, I thought it was a a prank. Some f fake meme. You always read these memes now, don't you? And you start running and telling people and you realize I gotta I gotta do some search. So I thought it was fake and then when I found out I was I was embarrassed for our country that we that we even stooped to this. But then after the way he played and the game that they allowed him to play in, I wasn't so sure. I was start starting to wonder if maybe their leader called and said, Can we get this guy in the field? 'Cause he didn't do anything. No. Mark Riley: No, he didn't. He did nothing. I I said it before. I said it on here and I I said it before while it was happening. I thought the US soccer team could have made a statement and said, no, we're taking the penalty. We don't agree with it or whatever, but we're taking it. And he's not playing. And I think that would have showed a little more integrity, a little more balls, a little more, you know, ⁓ and I don't know exactly. If it was Trump's stepping in or what the hell it was, I mean, I think he should have friggin' stayed out of it. That's a whole nother, you know, ⁓ I think ⁓ issue with the whole thing. But I thought even though they said no he could play, I think they should have j I think it gave the other team ammo to be like, ⁓ yeah, okay. You know, fuck you. Now we're gonna jam it down your throat and they pretty much did. Paul: Yeah. Yeah, they hammered us right from the start and then that game. Which I grew up growing up listening to people tell me as a kid in four years we're gonna be so much better and constantly believing this from ninety to four ninety four to ninety eight, right around twenty twelve I just stopped believing that. So I'm not I wasn't surprised when four years ago when we got Mark Riley: Yeah and Paul: Crushed by the Netherlands. Kind of sort of chess chess matched right off the field. And then this year, when everyone was the momentum was building, look, this team's really good this year. I kept saying, they haven't really played anyone yet. Wait, and then when they played Belgium, I kind of felt like this could be a disaster. And what was the final? Five-one, four-one? Well, we can keep saying wait till four years, but at the end of the day, I just feel like Mark Riley: Yeah. Yep. Paul: the n the number of hours that their players have with the ball at their foot, I don't know what it is. I don't know if we can compute it, but it's gotta be in the multi thousands more than our guys. And you just can't doesn't matter who your coach is, doesn't matter where you're pl ⁓ we have six guys playing in Europe now. It doesn't matter. It just matters about the actual quality of all the players around the field. You ⁓ you there's a ten thousand hour rule they say in sports. If you you know if you're a classic pianist, you have to put 10,000 hours in to become one of the I feel like if we put hours of players on the hours next to the names on the roster, theirs would dwarf ours. And you can just see it in the touch, the way they spin off the ball, the way they connect versus our guys. It's night and day. My son played for the Revolution Academy when he was in high school. And I was always telling my kids, play every day, constantly have the ball, get better. And He came back one time from winter break when they said we're gonna start this futsal thing. And I thought, great, futsal is what you need because that's what teams around the world do. It lasted one week. And then they said, ⁓ we'll we'll get back to you know, we'll see when they gave him like two months off. They come back in mid-February, and these are all guys that are gonna play in college, division one, and he shows up and they're all kind of joking, I haven't touched a ball in two months. These are these are our top players going to D one schools. And they're all they all some of them did well, some of them probably still play now in USL, but I don't think you would see that if you had a group of guys from Barcelona or Academy even mention that they haven't touched a ball in two months. It's just a different culture and it really shows at the when you get to the World Cup level. Same thing with women. US women were dominating. These other countries have caught up. Spain, women, they won it last time, they've caught up. Mark Riley: G. It it d yeah, it's a couple of interesting things there. So our women are more ha have done really well in the past. And so you like I was just gonna say, do you think it's because the the the historical years of soccer in England and or you know, ⁓ no no I'm not England, ⁓ Europe, right? Throughout Europe, throughout Asia, wherever you wanna go, right? ⁓ it There's so many more years of history there than soccer here. And, you know, so I mean, it it makes sense that they kind of grow up with it and w we really only have been growing up with it for, you know, what, forty years maybe? I mean, I don't know. Like when soccer really got popular over here, whereas soccer has been something that's played Paul: Mm-hmm. Mark Riley: You know, the guys from Scotland we talked to, it's all they do. That everyone plays soccer, you know. Paul: Right. Yeah. Mark Riley: But with the women it's different, which is interesting. Paul: I just think the women had a head start. We have a very good youth soccer program in America. I remember when I was coaching a group of girls went down to Columbia to play futsal in a summer tournament and they're let's say they were fourteen I'll say were f fourteen years old. They had to play seventeen year olds to make it competitive. They put them in the seventh and they still won. And I remember thinking Columbia's got a great soccer team on the men's side. But someone said, yeah, but their women are way behind, but they're catching up, and so s a lot of these South American countries are catching up. Europe's already caught up, so it's not gonna be as easy as it was in the past for US. Mark Riley: I do you think that's because women's sports over here I I mean, I don't know. I'm just thinking out loud here where in in other countries maybe girls aren't pushed into sports as much as over here? Paul: That's at least what I was told in terms of that Colombian tournament, the parents said they spoke to parents of the other ⁓ teams and yeah, it wasn't a big deal ten years ago to have your kid in sports, fifteen years ago to have kids in sports and now they they wanna compete and and have a good women's program, so they're getting they're getting better. Mark Riley: Yeah, it's it's just it kind of fascinating when you think about it. Like the women dominate and the men are way behind. Paul: Yeah. In our country, you say. Yeah. Mark Riley: Yeah, in our country, not yeah, in our country it's it's it's kind of the opposite of what it is in all the other countries and it's just you know, it it's interesting in that way. I remember watching so this had to be two thousand and right around two thousand and seven, I think. ⁓ or two thousand whenever that Olympics was, whatever whenever that summer games was around there, when the US women were in the gold medal game. Paul: Mm-hmm. Mark Riley: ⁓ and it might have been two thousand fourteen. It was during one of my back surgeries. I know that. And that's when about they happened. I was I was in, you know, I got the you know, the I V and the and the fun medicine and I was just laying there waiting and the w the only thing on was the women's gold medal game and I got so into it. You know, it was it it yeah, and this is a while ago, but it did you know, obviously it took a while longer to for soccer to t you know, to take with me, but Paul: Really? Mark Riley: ⁓ I remember watching that game and the and the women won the gold medal and it w and it was a great game. Paul: It is a good sport to watch when you're on drugs, definitely. Mark Riley: ⁓ Is that the key? I was pretty I was pretty looped up on pain meds, I'll be honest with you. So maybe that's why I enjoyed it so much. now i you ⁓ I there's a couple of different things I wanna cover with you because I love your first of all, let's talk a little comedy, 'cause ⁓ you know, ⁓ as far as comedy is concerned, you're a top comedian. Paul: Some people, yeah. Mark Riley: here, I mean n not just here in Boston, but ⁓ for my money everywhere. ⁓ if you've never gone out and seen Paul, you should check out his socials. He's got hilarious you have videos you do and you just like they it's just a hammer. Like you just come on and just punch in the face for like a minute and then it's over. They're friggin' hilarious. and it's so you know, ⁓ you've been doing comedy a long time. And what's your favorite part of I I know I'll I'll say it right now, the business of comedy sucks, right? It just especially now with YouTubers and you know, they sell out all these places but have no act. you know, actually, your sitcom you did, contempt, ⁓ and if if you can catch it on your ⁓ your social medias, right? Paul: Huh. On TikTok and Instagram, yeah. Mark Riley: Yeah. Hilarious in that here you are as a ⁓ legit comedian and you get beat up over a prop act, which is fucking hilarious. ⁓ but talk a little bit about you know your comedy and like what what it is that kind of makes it such a great fucking job. Paul: ⁓ so I started I met you in the mid mid nineties, right? So I started in nineteen ninety and ⁓ it was weird. I I was really shy in college, so if I had an oral report, I would go up to the professor before the start of the semester and say, I got in I'm gonna flunk that oral, so what do I gotta get on the other test to to pass? And he said, Why would you flunk the oral? I said, 'Cause I'm not doing it. What do you mean? I said, I'm not getting in front of people and talking. Mark Riley: Yeah. Ha ha. Paul: He's like he's looking at me like you're crazy. And your parents are paying for this. You So, anyways, ⁓ when I got to senior year, I said I gotta get an oral report under my belt. So I got hammered and showed up and I crushed. And I don't like saying those words. I hate people come upstage and say I crushed, but for this story, like I'm in front of this class, a business class, and I I destroyed. So I I had that confidence now that I might be able to do this. So I finally got up there, and the day I got up on stage and hit the crowd, I was like, why was I waiting so long to do this? Like it's that's the most fun, as you know, is being up there and making a group of people laugh will always be a thrill that you can't get anywhere else. Even if you're at a party making people it's not the same as being a Yeah. So I've always loved that part. You're right, the business is tough. Things where you you Mark Riley: No, it's definitely not. Paul: People don't want to hire you because you don't have as many followers as this guy. Okay, but my act's a little better, but that doesn't even matter anymore. So you kind of you and I have kinda gone out and done a lot of things on our own now, renting our own places and getting rooms. But some of these other rooms that we we've done in the past are great. It's always fun to get up there. Creating new material, whether it's on things that are happening in the world now or just old bits or about your family, that's always fun. I I started this new show called Ranting Parents Comedy Tour, and we mainly do our kids stuff. And I have a lot of kids stuff because I have a lot of kids. So four kids. So ton of material. So that's also fun. And ⁓ just working with people that we've known over the years, you know, guys like you, Brad, Gilligan, all these guys that we've come up through the up the ladder with. So it it's still fun. As long as it's fun, I'll keep doing it. Mark Riley: Yeah, no, it there's no better feeling in the world. Now I I to hear that you did you were petrified of oral reports is just shocking to me. 'Cause ⁓ Paul: Yeah. Yeah. I d I I did one in four years. At Bentley Bentley University. Yeah. Yeah, I had a spotty college career. I I didn't ⁓ I didn't have so I just said I would keep doing comedy as long as it's fun. Ca soccer was not fun in college. It was for me for me, it was too much of a of a business or like a job. Mark Riley: And you played soccer there? Gotcha. Paul: So I left the team freshman year, then I got hurt sophomore year, so I tried one more time junior year and I got to about midway through the season and my grades were in the toilet. So I said, I'm gonna jump off and and salvage the education and graduated the following year. But we were we were kind of bottom of the barrel in the division anyways. Mark Riley: Where where Where did you first go on stage? Paul: Well, I I like to think it was either in that class, was for me it was like a performance or there was ⁓ another time prior to that where I was supposed to take notes for the game 'cause I was hurt junior year. So I wrote up this funny thing and then I got on the bus on the way home and I read it and I also had a quote unquote set. So that was also confident, but then I was working at a bank in Medford and someone was passing around this thing that said they're having a comedy contest for people in the banking industry. And you come in and perform and they'll pick a winner and you get a special ⁓ you get a five minute spot at that club. So I think it was duck soup. Was at it somewhere in that area where Nick's is. So I showed up and I thought this is the perfect time to go because I'm not going after Sweeney or whatever. I'm going after bankers. And I came in with my material. I even remember some of the bits. And guess who wins? A guy who told street jokes, won that night. But I was just glad that I did five. I wasn't super nervous. And like I said, I looked out at the crowd and when I got that first big laugh I thought, wow, I waited way too long to do this. This is this is amazing. Mark Riley: ⁓ Yeah, the the st street jokes, yeah, I don't know about you, but I ⁓ when's when anyone does one on stage, it's just like, ⁓ come on. You know, it's like what are you doing? You know, put a little effort in, will you? I don't know. now you talk a little bit about contempt because if you if people haven't seen it You know, it was kinda like it was cool in that these little it was like short almost vignettes of of the l ⁓ sitcom. And it where like where did that come up? Paul: So this guy named Jason Margasa who did comedy around when what was that room in Braintree that Annette had for a while at the four corners? Mark Riley: ⁓ yeah, that was ⁓ god damn it. ⁓ I can picture it. ⁓ I restaurant, yeah, yeah. Paul: Yeah, the restaurant well known restaurant. So he he used to go in there with Matt MacArthur and do spots. So he comes up to me after a show and he says, I don't know if you remember me, we worked a few times and I said, Not really. And he said, I I've always wanted to do a sitcom and I feel like your voice, your accent is just quintessentially the Boston sort of scene. Would you be interested? I took his number down, I called him up. And he's friends with Matt MacArthur, who I'm friends with now, but I didn't know Matt at the time either. They told me we did four shows together. I must have just ignored these two. So we sat down and we wrote for every Sunday for a year, we wrote the pilot. He's a film guy. He has really nice cameras, four K cameras. It took ⁓ eight months to shoot from different locations. I got Mitch involved. I should have got you involved. I got Nick DePaulo in it, and I got ⁓ I think Mark Riley: Ha ha. Paul: One other comedian and my neighbor's an actress, she played, my ex-wife. So we shot it. We entered it into this Fade In Pitch Fest. Fade In's a Hollywood magazine, and they do c contests for all these different genres. So they did comedy in 2022. We won the grand prize. So we thought we might have something here. So Jason got to do a few online pitches with some people. And we got this guy, Bill Nuss, to ⁓ represent it. Bill did ⁓ the reboot of Hawaii 50. And he did Pacific Blue. So we said, All right, it's not really comedy, but he's he's the one snapping at the hook. So we gave it to him and he came back and said, I'm having trouble selling it. They want this in it. They want it's not woke enough. All this this was right in the middle of all that shit in twenty twenty four. So I don't know, Jason said, Let me cut it up vertically, at least get it on your phone, get it out there, and then we might throw it on Kickstarter in the fall. ⁓ but it was again, just like doing comedy. It was fun to do, it was fun to learn, it was it was worth doing whether anything comes of it. But it's just a it's a sitcom about basically me as a down and out comedian who's working temp jobs, hence the title Contempt. And the idea was there's never been a sitcom, to our knowledge anyways, about a temp worker. So you could take this character and put him in all kinds of crazy temp jobs throughout the seasons. And ⁓ we wrote that up in the sh in the Bible and It's available if anyone w w wants to pick it up, it's available. We're available. And yours show's hilarious too, by the way. I love you as a as a hockey coach. That's right up your alley, so Mark Riley: Yeah. ⁓ yeah, full ride on yeah, with Pat Shea. ⁓ that was a lot of fun to do too. Like you mentioned, it it's it's it's something that's different than stand up. The you know, timing and stuff, I think that's why, you know, pretty much any comedian can make a good actor in that our business is timing, right? So especially comedic acting. ⁓ but it was a lot of fun to do and it was just different, you know? ⁓ But I I thought I I I really enjoyed seeing ⁓ all, you know, as they came out and ⁓ it was it was fun. Mitch Mitch's scene was hilarious. Mitch Dinson, our buddy. ⁓ Paul: Nothing. Yeah. I yeah. I think this is the best in the whole thing. I tell ⁓ that all the time. Mark Riley: Yeah. No, the way he ⁓ just the his mannerisms and stuff is just your interaction was hilarious. That and the woman that brought the laptop back that was a board. And that whole thing when you hit her with it, and you're like, I didn't hit her with a laptop. It was a board. That was funny shit, man. That was ⁓ I enjoyed it. So you everyone should check that out. Paul: The st the store owner actually. Do you know Bill ⁓ Bill McMorrow? He was the store o the store manager and he was very funny. I I didn't know he had that sort of acting ability because he was the one who went off script more than anyone. Just kind of the zany zany st store manager. We let him go and just filmed a bunch of him just going and said which ones are the best whereas everyone else went off the script. So Mark Riley: Really? Right, right. No, it was ⁓ it was very well done. Very well done. and and so again, if you're if you're out there and you've never seen Paul perform or seen any of his stuff, you gotta check it out. just one of my favorite peop I you yeah, I mean I'm not saying this 'cause you're on the podcast 'cause you know, ⁓ and we've been friends for a long time, but you're one of my favorite people to work with because you always have new stuff and You know, just the way you presented is just I can hear your act a hundred times and I'm like still laughing at shit, you know. Paul: We just worked together recently. Where were we? In Rosendale somewhere? At the ⁓ I did a bit that night. I did a bit that night that I haven't done since. The punchline was beef and cleef, and you were laughing, and I keep telling myself, I don't really like it, but Mark does. I probably need to keep doing it. I don't know why. Mark Riley: No, yeah. I may or may not so I don't know why. It just it tickled me in a certain way. And I now that you say it again, I fucking ⁓ it's something about beef and queef. I just thought it was hilarious. Yeah, that that show is interesting, that Rosendale show. Paul: Hmm. Yeah. I like the the the the obviously the rhyming of it is good, beef and queef, but I just don't like the way I got there. So I don't know. I I haven't done it since, but I think there's something there. Mark Riley: But you can there's definitely something there, man. Definitely something there. You if you can get the beef and queef in a different way. Just fucking saying it is hilarious. You don't even have to Paul: Cool. It's yeah, it it would be the name of my podcast if I had one. Mark Riley: Yeah, Beef and Ceeve Podcast. Just fucking you don't even need to know the setup if that's the punchline for me. It's just you know what's gonna happen to me for the rest of like the rest of the week. I'm just gonna randomly be like beef and ceef. I'm just gonna keep saying it 'cause it's just fucking funny. I forgot all about that. ⁓ what what do you do you have anything coming up that people should Paul: Yeah. Hmm. Mark Riley: Think about checking out. Paul: Yeah, so the ranting parents, we've been doing little small theaters, renting ⁓ out and whether they fill up or half fill, there's no real risk involved. But we decided to rent a big theater in Lexington, the Carrie Hall, which is a big challenge. It's financially a big challenge, but it's over eight hundred seats. So we have a ⁓ that's coming up September nineteenth. Mark Riley: Okay. Paul: And I decided to rent a billboard on ninety three 'cause we need to really get the word out. So we'll be up on the billboard as you're driving by Medford and on Route ninety three in the middle of September and September nineteenth, come on out to that show. It's gonna be a lot of fun. I'm not gonna do the beef and queef bit. I don't care if you c come out and request it, I'm not doing it, but Mark Riley: No. Yeah. Paul: But Lexington Mass, it's a great time. You can have dinner there in the center of town and then come to the show. I hope to see everyone there. And when Mark and I are working you gotta come out and see Mark and I together. Mark Riley: No. ⁓ yeah. And when we're together next time you will do the beef and cleave. So what's the name of the theater up in Lexington? Paul: I will. It's Carrie Hall. It's ⁓ I believe it's Town Hall actually. You know, a lot of these old towns have theaters inside the town hall. In fact, I live in Framingham, we have one as well, Nebbins Hall. I don't think they do shows there, but Carrie Hall does a lot of shows. They have Fleetwood Macs tribute bands coming in, they do a lot of big concerts, but they do comedy as well. Mark Riley: That's awesome. And who's on who's on that with you? Paul: ⁓ Jim Robertie and Dave Radigan. Mark Riley: ⁓ right on. Right on. Love I love those two. ⁓ well that's really cool. And and and your socials, Paul Nardizzy comedy or Paul Nardizzy comedian? Paul: ⁓ TikTok is at Paul Paul Nardizzy, but Instagram is Paul Nardizzy Comedy. Mark Riley: Okay. All right. So you gotta check that out. Now, what is who all right, I I I'm jumping all around. I wanna get to back into sports because you're a sports nut and you know, you've written books and stuff. but who was who's your all time favorite comedian or who was the comedian you loved, you know, growing up before you did it? Or even now after you're doing it, who's your favorites? Paul: I would say George Carlin and Dennis Miller. Stephen Wright, too. Stephen Wright. Yeah. Mark Riley: Nice. Yeah, those that's that that's quite a threesome right there. Paul: I I memorized Dennis Miller, I think it's called Mr. Miller Goes to Washington. I memorized the whole thing. And then I went I lived down the Cape for the summer in my freshman ⁓ sophomore year in between those with a bunch of guys, my brother and a bunch of guys, and I used to go around the beach and do some of his bits and get people to laugh. And that was also giv br giving me confidence. But when I started doing comedy, I s I still had that Miller twang to my to my act, but I didn't think anyone knew. And Billy Martin, who now writes for Bill Maher, he used to host at Knicks, and he came up to me and he said, You're doing really good, but you gotta lose the Dennis Miller thing. I came up with Dennis in Pittsburgh. It's it's very obvious you're doing Dennis Miller. Okay. I got caught with my hand in the cookie jack. Mark Riley: Yeah, I saw I remember seeing Dennis Miller with ⁓ Richard Lewis at the like Seltchore ⁓ it was either the Seltchor Music Circus or could have been the Cape Card Melody Tent. Yeah, I mean we're talking actually before I even started doing comedy. That's you know, while a long time ago. And ⁓ and it was funny because what was really funny was you know, Dennis Dennis Miller is so cerebral. And some of his stuff is just so sharp. ⁓ and the people in front of us, I don't know how many times they're like, I don't get it. What what what what talking about? I don't get it. And I remember being with my buddy John and we were pissing our pants not only at Dennis Miller, but at the people in front of us not fucking getting any of his stuff. It was pretty funny. ⁓ it was pretty funny. So ⁓ all right, well I I I Paul: Really? Yeah. Mark Riley: One of my favorites of all time was Buddy Hackett. I just thought he could tell a story better than anyone. ⁓ you know, th that was one of my ⁓ I don't want to say influences because I didn't think I'm like you, I didn't think I was gonna do comedy until I was twenty five, I think, when I, you know, first met the kid that said you should do comedy. So, ⁓ but I always liked watching him growing up. ⁓ Red Sox. Paul: Mm-hmm. ⁓ yeah, everyone was writing everyone was writing them off. ⁓ I remember they lost a game and someone wrote the next day it was just a random game against say Seattle in the middle or end of May. That's it. This is this season's over. And I thought, You're right, but I can't believe you're writing that. It was just a really hot headline. I don't know who that I don't remember who it was, but he must feel like an idiot now. But we all agreed, right? We didn't think this this was going anywhere. Mark Riley: Unbelievable. Like Yeah. No. There was I did a golf tournament back in June, early June, and they had four Red Sox tickets as a live auction item. And so I said, We're gonna start the bidding off at twelve dollars. Fucking and I I honestly think they only went for like two hundred bucks. Four t they were like three rolls off the field and ⁓ I don't think it it you know it got what it should have, but Paul: Really. Mark Riley: Just I just laugh at that because now they're friggin' like just lights out. Paul: Yeah. Yeah. Did it go from twelve to two hundred or did it gradually go up? Mark Riley: I I think it went in it went in increment to three dollars and ⁓ and then I finally started jumping it by twenty-five. But ⁓ it was fun when I said twelve dollars, there w no one's hand went up. Like but you know, going along with it. And then some guy was like, I'll I'll I'll to give twelve bucks and then you know, went from there. But it just crazy 'cause who wanted them, you know? ⁓ did you see the the stat that Paul: Really? Yeah. Mark Riley: For four years in a row after 108 games. ⁓ did you see the stat that 57 and 51? That's Paul: My wife told me that yeah, yesterday. Yeah, that's crazy. Mark Riley: Fucking nuts. Like how does that even happen? Paul: Would you bet next year that it would happen again? I would definitely you're not supposed to bet against a streak, I would bet against that. Mark Riley: I think I would. Yeah. I think I'd I'd drop a ten spot saying that that'll never happen. But fuck, no one would have thought it happened four years in a row. ⁓ Paul: Yeah. Mark Riley: What do you what do you think their chances are to actually win the World Series? Paul: To win it. Mark Riley: Yeah. Paul: I think the Dodgers are ⁓ once again bought their way into probably winning it again. But I could definitely see them getting there. The Yankees seem to have a lot of holes and and who else is there? Chicago's the best team in the Central. The Astros are okay this year, but not what they were. So I could see them getting to the World Series. Mark Riley: Yeah, the yeah. What's your thoughts on the the whole like the Dodgers and how much they can spend, you know, and the Red Sox did it for a while and they actually it paid off and they you know, they they won. But it like Paul: Yeah. Yeah. I I hate it. I I don't I I think there's a reason we have Division One, Two and Three in College. There's a reason they have salary caps. It just makes sports better. Although I do watch European soccer where this is what you get. Barcelona and Real Madrid outspend everyone and they're always fighting for the title. So I can't complain about it, but I don't love it and I tend to not watch a lot of baseball for that reason. Mark Riley: Yeah, it just seems ridiculous in that sport that th there's no parody. Paul: Yeah, if if d if you found out that there were two good players on the moon, the Dodgers will be on a rocket ship in the morning. And the rest of the teams would be they'd be scrambling for can we get a hold of Neil Armstrong? There'd be w we gotta do something, right? It's always been it's always been somewhat lopsided growing up. Say it was a hundred million and you could only spend twenty, but I think the Dodgers have taken it too billions and they're still down in the hundreds of millions. So it's it's really hard to compete. When they got that scuball guy, that was almost like the the Balogun news. I said that's that's fake. They didn't let this happen. Of course they did. And that guy's either watched him that guy's unbelievable. Mark Riley: ⁓ yeah. Yeah. He's friggin' like lights out. Like they didn't need him. You know? It it I I heard the the other day on the radio, I think they they their revenue is close to one billion dollars a year, the Dodgers. With all their TV contracts and all the you know, everything. One billion dollars. It's like it's kind of ridiculous. Paul: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Mark Riley: ⁓ what's your thoughts on the Patriots? Paul: I think the off season thing is gonna ⁓ be a distraction going to other not at home, but going to other stadiums and getting abused. And their schedule's harder, so harder, harder. And so I I can see them being a borderline playoff team. Mark Riley: All right. Paul: Yeah, like that. much higher schedule and and and the fact that it's gonna be they're gonna be taking a lot of abuse. Mark Riley: So do you think their schedule last year was the reason why they did so well? Paul: Yeah, but then we saw them play good teams and and hang with good teams too. Other than the superbow other than the Super Bowl. So Mark Riley: Right. Yeah. Well the Super Bowl, I don't th that was a bad showing, but I I don't think even if Drake may had the career of his the game of his career, they weren't winning that game. Paul: Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Mark Riley: You know, there was just too much on the other side of the ball. Paul: Yeah, they couldn't protect and and the the lineman was probably hurt too. Their their rookie. Mark Riley: And ⁓ Celtics trade, Jalen Brown. Paul: Love it. I love it. No, I loved it. Yes. I never enjoyed we we watch sports to enjoy watching sports. That's why I watch Barcelona. They play awesome soccer. I never liked the way Jalen Brown played. I feel like he he's kinda dirty, not intentionally dirty, but he's just always elbowing people in the face. I watched every game. Mark Riley: Did you hate it as much as PJ did? Really? Paul: That I can. I probably watched thirty, thirty-five games. I I must have seen him bloody someone's mouth four or five times in the season. And I even though I want the Celts to win, I don't want to see the other team have to go to the locker room to have their teeth repaired. I just I'm not into that. So when I heard he was painted, I thought, tell me we got a couple first rounders. Yeah, we did. I go, all right, I'll take that. And we got Paul George. All right. I'll take that. Everyone's complaining about he was their when they look at defensive ratings, he was their best defender. So we get rid of a guy who dribbles poorly and shoots too much, but is very good. We got two first round picks and a very good defender who can shoot. So I don't think you can judge the trade till we see what those number one picks become. But yeah, they lost the trade probably, but I'll enjoy watching more. Which at the end of the day is all I can do. Yeah. Why ⁓ PJ did PJ lose his mind over this trade? Mark Riley: That's an inter That's a real interesting take. I like that take. Well, he did he was not a fan in the sense that, you know, you made Philadelphia better and, you know, Philadelphia's the team that knocked you out. And he actually so he was on a few po a few episodes ago and he actually predicted LeBron going to Philly because of it. So yeah, he but he was not a fan. ⁓ not a fan at all about taking a player. ⁓ not a Paul George Paul: ⁓ boom. Mark Riley: Two thousand you know, twenty one or two thousand and nineteen Paul George or eighteen, whatever. ⁓ huge fan now. You know, past prime, kind of probably gonna get hurt. So yeah, PJ was not a fan of it. ⁓ most people weren't. I mean, I wasn't I'm I am not I'm a Celtics fan. I wanna see him win every year. Love the Celts, but I'm not a basketball guy. I don't watch a ton of games. You know, I'll watch if they're in the finals, but I I just don't I can't watch it anymore because there's too much traveling, there's too much flopping, and you know, what's a foul, what's not a foul, and you got guys like LeBron James who, you know, he gets bumped and it's a foul and he can run someone over and it's not, you know, it's just I I just can't watch it anymore. I love March Madness. I'll watch March Madness. It's not that I don't like basketball. Paul: Yeah. Mark Riley: I just don't like what's going on in the NBA. It's not the same. It's not the NBA I grew you know, we grew up with. You know, Bird and Magic and Bill Lambier and, you know, Jordan. It's just not the same. So Paul: No, it's definitely not. Yeah. It is ⁓ very funny that he went to Philly to be the man and then they got LeBron though. That that is poetic that is poetic justice. He was the man He was the man for about forty eight hours in Philly. Mark Riley: Yeah. Right. Well in in But and but they already had him bead, you know, ⁓ they have Maxie. It's like e now he's gonna be the fourth option, potentially the fourth option. It's like maybe the Celtics knew what they were doing. You know? Maybe they were sending them there to you know, to torture him and and Philly. I mean, it might not work down there. You know, they they have all this talent now, but Paul: Yeah. Mark Riley: That doesn't mean it'll work. Paul: I'm anxious to see who is the first Celtic that he smashes in the face with his elbow. Mark Riley: J Jason Tatum. That's who I would based on Paul: Yeah, that's what I would yeah. Mark Riley: I would I would bet Jason Tatum is the first one that takes a Jalen Brown elbow to the to the beak, you know? you know why we're on it, I gotta ask. Who who's your goat in basketball of all time? Paul: ⁓ Larry Bird. Mark Riley: Okay. Paul: Yeah. I'm gonna run out of battery so I'm sliding over towards an outlet, so bear with me. Mark Riley: ⁓ okay, yeah. No, no. Slide all you need to. Would rather you ⁓ a a slide is better than death of the phone. Paul: But if you're if you're saying if you're saying ver Jordan and and and what's the space? And LeBron, I would say Jordan. But me just watching, enjoying watching and elevating others, for me it was Byrd. 'Cause I could go out and play with Larry Bird and I would get layups 'cause I just cut to the hoop and it would be in my hand. That's how good he was at passing and seeing the floor. Mark Riley: Right. Yeah, no, that that that's for me, that's when basketball was basketball. You know? ⁓ hard, physical, nasty. Now it's just a three point show. You know, when you have a when you have a seven foot two guy whose specialty is three point shooting, it's like what are we doing? Like what the fuck? Right? Like what happened under the what happened to playing with your back to the basket? ⁓ you know. Paul: Yeah. It is funny when they come down the court sometimes and everyone's on the perimeter. All five guys. Mark Riley: I don't know. I No one's it yeah. All five guys. No one's even under the hoop. No one's in the paint. The three second violation I think is taken out of the rule book. They don't need it anymore. It's like ridiculous. Paul: Yeah. Yeah. You'll s sometimes the announcers will say, Pritchard with his seventh rebound. What a what an he's not a he's not a rebounder. The ball's bouncing out to where he is. Mark Riley: Ha ha. You you have some of the funniest NBA basketball material. By the way, your sports material, comedy material is absolutely hilarious. Paul: ⁓ sports is funny, right? You watch it, you see something new all the time when you watch sports. Mark Riley: Yeah. Now i just again, if if in case people don't know, you what were the books that you wrote about things to be pissed off about, correct? Paul: I wrote ⁓ those yeah, I wrote Six Hundred and Two Reasons to Be Pissed Off, which isn't a sports book, but I did write a couple of sarcastic sports trivia books. And I hooked up with a comedian that do you remember Dave Barron? He was doing comedy right around He left right around when you get in. Do you remember him? Yeah, so him and I wrote he and I wrote ⁓ things that might annoy a Yankee fan and things that might annoy a Jets fan. Mark Riley: Yeah. I I the name sounds so familiar. Paul: Which are just books you read on the toilet. They're they were fun to write and go around promoting. We promoted them on a ra on a radio show, a few few news channels, chronicle, things like that. Mark Riley: ⁓ that's i i anyone that writes a book I don't know, I have respect for 'cause I've tried. I just can't sit still long enough to get through it, you know? Paul: Yeah. I'd love to write more more actual writing type book, like an essay book. I don't know if you're familiar with David Sederis. So I went to see him in Clayton, New York at the opera house this past spring. And I and I met him. He was signing before the show and there was no one there. I was one of the first ones there and I went up to him and I was talking to him. And he was just really impressed with someone who does comedy. I can't believe you do comedy. That could never do that. Mark Riley: ⁓ yeah, yeah. Paul: What are you talking about? That's why I'm here. You're gonna be up there on stage reading from your book, but still you have to get laughs so you'll be bombing. You'll so it was just an interesting thing of the way he viewed us versus the way I viewed him. But anyways I watched him. I've written I've read all his books. I just I'm in the middle of reading his newest one. But that's something I'd love to try to do is just sit down and sort of write life essays like he does about his father or growing up or his travels. Interesting guy. And a and a great storyteller too. Mark Riley: Yeah, I have a friend who's a huge fan of his and has sent me stuff from him and and ⁓ it's it's funny to hear someone like that be so kind of I guess enamored would be the w with the fact that you do comedy, you know? ⁓ I i it's like those like doctors or people you meet and they're like, ⁓ wow, you do comedy, that's gotta be really cool. I'm like, you fucking fix brains. Like you seriously? You know? And they Paul: Yeah. Mark Riley: And you're like, ⁓ well, all right, thanks. ⁓ I'm gonna go tell a dick joke. ⁓ but yeah, I I actually I wrote it's on my computer, ⁓ not every kid should get a trophy, the age of entitlement. And you know, I got about seven chapters, but that that was I've been writing that for about fifteen years, so you know, someday Paul: Yeah. All right. Is it co is it comedic or is it so is it the truth and comedy or is it supposed to be just funny? Mark Riley: It's it's no no it's true it's like my opinion on society and what's wrong with it. But also obviously, you know, like one of my chapters is stop carrying your kids out bag out of the hockey rink, you know, ⁓ because you know, we're just basically turning kids into pussies. And that's kind of the idea of it. But ⁓ I actually did research and stuff, which is shocking, but ⁓ and then incorporated, you know, my own point of view and and Paul: Okay. Mark Riley: stories from being a gym teacher and stuff like that and what I've seen. And ⁓ but it's it's Paul: ⁓ Yeah, let's move it. Mark Riley: But I I say that's what's that? Paul: Promise it. Finish it. Let's get it finished. Mark Riley: I I know. I gotta finish it. I should. ⁓ I don't know how to publish anything. Paul: Hm. Remember I bought I bought a book when my kids were little about ⁓ how to how to discipline your kid. And I used to use that book. I used to hit my kids with that book. It was actually very The guy with the it was a big, thick book, so it worked. Mark Riley: I was gonna say, was it a hardcover or or paperback? Paul: I wrote that joke and I and I gave it to Jim to do on the ranting parents show. And things don't always translate well to different types of shows because I it's a quick hitting bit, but I had Jim go out with the book and show the crowd, get the get the laugh about how I used to hit the kids with it, and then say I have a follow-up book and we had this huge book that he would come out with. It w it was almost too heavy to pick up but It just kinda lost the crowd. I don't know why. I thought it would be hilarious, but it was a prop, basically, and I was carrot topping for a minute and I said, Get rid of that. That's not staying in the act. With the that's out. Mark Riley: Carrot topping. It's it's a verb. He's become a verb. Caratop. it's funny how you like we all have done it. We think of something and we're like, that's hilarious. And then we go out and do it, and you're like, no, it does isn't received. And it's just kind of like people like, yeah, no. Or what's even worse is when you come up with something and you run it by like, you know. I I'll run by something like by PJ, you know, or Tony and they they're laughing their ass off. And then I go out and do it on stage and everyone's like, That sucked Like my my funny friends found it funny, motherfuckers. Come on, you know. Paul: Right. ⁓ what about what about when you do four new bits and there's that one you're really hoping is gold and it's not, like you said, they don't like it. But then they like the one where you said, This is I'm I don't even know why this is in the group of four. I think it sucks and and they love it. They people don't realize they the audience decides what goes in the act. Basically, they choose. You'll the occasionally you'll do one that doesn't go over great and you'll Mark Riley: Yep. One hundred percent. Yeah. Paul: Often say that that's for me. We all do that one or two that we like to do, even though it doesn't always but mostly they choose what we what we do. Mark Riley: Yeah, even looking at them, if it's an older crowd or if it's a, you know, a rowdier crowd, you kinda have to sometimes adjust and pull out some material that might be different or whatever. You know? I I I tried a new bit last weekend and the crowd was like magical. It's one of those crowds where, you know, a and and the new bit crushed. It was just like I was like, That's perfect. And then I did a golf tournament on Monday. And because of the rain, they had me do a set and I'm like, you know what? I'm gonna try that bit again and see what happens. And of course it didn't have the reaction as it had Saturday night because it's a different crowd, but it got enough laughs for me to go, if it worked here, I think I got something. You know, it's kinda like but that's the part of the the art form that people, you know, it's not just going up and telling, you know, jokes. It's it's that art form piece that not everyone gets. Paul: Yeah. Yeah. What was the what was the I what you have to do the bit, but what is the subject matter th of the bit that didn't go over as well at the golf tournament? Mark Riley: Which is kinda cool, you know? And ⁓ I know you Well, what's funny is at the golf tournament I did the first part of the bit and then I couldn't remember what the second part of it was where I got to the end. And I even said, This is only my second time doing this. I can't remember what I said next. And everyone laughed and they thought I was like, that was the joke. And I go, No, I really can't fucking remember. And then all of a sudden I was like, ⁓ shit, I remember. And I did it. So obviously I kind of I became my own speed bump in the middle of it. Paul: Yeah. Mark Riley: But ⁓ so the ending wasn't as strong because I think, you know, it wasn't exactly flawless. ⁓ Paul: What's what's the subject matter? Mark Riley: ⁓ blue chew. Blue chew. Paul: What it pollutes you? Mark Riley: It's it's to enhance male performance in the bedroom. ⁓ it's one of those ones you see on everywhere, right? Like it's not ⁓ it's got like three or four different ingredients that's supposed to help out with all different things, you know? And ⁓ and I honestly I got it ⁓ just because, you know, you're on Instagram and you're scrolling and you're like, you know what? I would like a hotter dick. And you know, you put you place in order, right? Paul: What? Mark Riley: But what they don't tell ya is it turns your fucking mouth blue. Paul: Really? Mark Riley: Yeah. So you can't really hide that, you know? Look like I had a ring pop. So it was uhful. But makes for a good bit, you know. Paul: Yeah. How long does the blue color last? Mark Riley: it it fades and you gotta brush your teeth pretty quick, you know. ⁓ but it you know, I didn't I had no idea it was hilarious because I I was just fucking around. I put it under my tongue and next thing you know, my fucking whole mouth is blue and I and and I'm laughing going, you know, I'm happy because I think I found a bit how fucked up we are, right? I'm like, you know, at the same time I feel like an idiot. Paul: What? ⁓ Mark Riley: You know, and I was alone. I don't even know why I took it. But ⁓ yeah, no, it's it's it's it it's ⁓ there's definitely something there, you know, you like play around with it and stuff. And and it's funny how we do we do do shit just to I don't not that we go out and do crazy shit, but sometimes you like you're like, Yeah, I'll try this and in the back of your mind you're like, maybe this will be funny, you know? Paul: Yeah, because it's the way it's Yeah. Yeah. Mark Riley: So not that I need any help if you're listening. Just comedic research. It's like when I watched ⁓ when I watched heated rivalry three times. It was just for comedic research. Do you know that show? The hockey show. Yeah. The gay hockey show. Paul: ⁓ yeah, the hockey. Yeah. I only know it. I only know it 'cause you've done a bit on it. I don't know it otherwise. Mark Riley: Right. So well, ⁓ I think that's a good place to end. talking talking bits. ⁓ Paul: All right. We we end it on b we end on blue chew. That's a good idea. Mark Riley: Bluetooth. I think ⁓ I think it is. We ended on a ⁓ a high note or a hard note. ⁓ wanna remind you to like and subscribe on YouTube. and also follow us on all the social medias, the Instagram, the Facebook, and of course, the TikTok. And also check out our website, ⁓ chirpingzeebras dot com for all your merch and and you know, place in order and and and Wear some chirping zebras merch. We got some cool stuff out there. ⁓ shout out to AOA Studios and also our sponsor, the referees, Creese. And also wanna thank Paul Nardizzy for sitting in ⁓ and being a guest slash guest host. Paul: Thank you for having me. It was a lot of fun talking to you. Time went by quick. Mark Riley: I know, I know. Before you know it, it's like holy smokes, you gotta plug in your phone. and ⁓ so for Gino Bender who will be back soon, and for Paul Nardizzi who's sitting in, I'm Mark Riley. We'll see you next time right here on the Chirping Zebras.