Latest / Voices for Voices® / Your Body Doesn't Separate Good Stress from Bad Stress | Episode 517

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Your Body Doesn't Separate Good Stress from Bad Stress | Episode 517 · Voices for Voices®

• 0:01
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Hi everyone, it's Justin here, Voices for Voices.
• 0:04
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Thank you so much for joining us whether you're watching or listening.
• 0:08
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: This is your first episode, or you've been with us from the beginning.
• 0:12
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If you could give us a big thumbs up, like, follow, subscribe, share, repost, reshare, uh, reach into your uh uh smartphone and uh reach out to maybe 25 or 50 of your contacts and share the voices for voices, uh, podcast, and TV show with them.
• 0:34
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: They will not be disappointed uh again, whether you're here in the United States or uh some other uh land outside of the United States.
• 0:48
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Thank you for joining us and thank you for being a part of the Voices for Voices family.
• 0:54
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh without you, we wouldn't be here.
• 0:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So thank you very much.
• 0:59
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We're grateful to have you with us for uh another show.
• 1:05
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh it's uh it's it's one of those one of those shows where it's it's really hard uh to talk and share about certain certain instances and it's easy to talk about without being the person or persons that has to do something.
• 1:41
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And what do I mean by that?
• 1:44
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's easy to share, let's say, a tip or trick to to do uh to do something to others, like like if you study, you may get a better grade than if you don't study.
• 2:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's easy to say that, but when our lives really uh start going in about you know 50 different directions, again, that's just mean uh just throwing that number out.
• 2:28
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Uh and when it does, then it becomes a little bit tougher, like, oh wow, I wish I would have started studying earlier, and and then we we go from there.
• 2:43
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Same thing goes for other other things, like our health.
• 2:51
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's easy to share and say, hey, I think you should join the gym and start working out, and easy to say it.
• 3:08
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We talked about this before, harder to do it.
• 3:13
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And we just watch we just watch who we we get advice from it's easy to say it, harder to do it again.
• 3:25
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I'm not talking about uh building spaceships here.
• 3:34
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We're we're talking about what should be a fairly simple observation, but when we look at that, if we're the person that's being told that, we could maybe we take offense to that and say, oh, who does this person think they are telling me what to do?
• 4:00
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Why don't they go to the gym?
• 4:03
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And why don't they keep their opinions of themselves?
• 4:09
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Okay, that's fair.
• 4:12
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We're all entitled to our our opinion here.
• 4:32
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Not realizing that we need help where we think everything and everybody is is against us, against me, I'm against you.
• 4:55
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's easy to say, harder to do it.
• 5:04
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And it's very easy to think again.
• 5:10
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Why doesn't that person go get help?
• 5:13
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Why don't they do it?
• 5:18
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: They're bringing it up to me.
• 5:20
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Why aren't they bringing it up to others?
• 5:25
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Are they bringing it up to others?
• 5:27
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Am I the only one?
• 5:34
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so we talked about the test, we talked about joining gym, we talk about not just joining gym, but yeah, actually following through with exercising, lightweight, uh lifting, and then we talk about you know maybe needing some help that may be part of our health that we need help with, and there's still a stigma.
• 6:20
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Boy oh boy, there's still that stigma.
• 6:24
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I know firsthand.
• 6:26
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So when somebody says, Oh, Justin, you don't even know.
• 6:29
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Well, I do know, yeah.
• 6:32
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Look at me now, well, 2017, it's a whole different ball game.
• 6:40
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: 2016, 2015.
• 6:43
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's a lot of years where I I ignored some signals my body was giving me, and maybe some signals from others.
• 7:03
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: At the end of the day, though, it was late.
• 7:10
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It was late in the day, let me tell you.
• 7:37
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I'm saying to make a decision to take some of well, not just some.
• 7:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: To basically say, I need somebody to help me.
• 7:59
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: In fact, I need probably more than one person to help me.
• 8:04
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Like I said, it was late in the game.
• 8:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I knew I needed help.
• 8:08
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I didn't know how to express it.
• 8:13
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Hospitals have put protocols, and I I guess I up until that time where I I actually did say yes to get help and spend time away from my new wife of just a few months in family.
• 8:38
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Easy to say, hard to do.
• 8:41
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Don't know what's gonna happen.
• 8:48
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Oh, that person's psychotic, that person is mental, that person you fill in the blank.
• 8:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I had all those thoughts going on my head.
• 9:00
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Oh my gosh, are people gonna be screaming?
• 9:05
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Are people gonna be fighting?
• 9:09
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Are people what's it gonna be like?
• 9:15
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I didn't know, and so I I surrendered myself voluntarily because after all those years, all those doctor visits, all those tests, I finally felt like I was getting the outlet that I really needed.
• 9:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so that was a time I just said, Yes, I need it, I need help.
• 10:05
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I want to get back to being myself as best I can.
• 10:21
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And I remember thinking, what do I do?
• 10:26
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: What do I do?
• 10:28
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And I was a person that thought they knew better, that knew ever knew better than doctors, then right.
• 10:38
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I'll just Google or look up on the internet, or that's what I'll do.
• 10:53
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And come to find out, as I've mentioned a lot of times, and spending time on this for a very specific reason that sometimes we just need help and it's okay, and we don't need to worry about we don't need we don't need to explain it.
• 11:21
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Well, we do get asked a lot of questions from psychiatrist to psychiatrist, from therapist to therapist, yeah.
• 11:32
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We get asked those questions.
• 11:40
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But I probably had a file, like maybe this I I don't know, had to have been of all the all the doctor visits, all the hospital visits that I had up until that point.
• 12:00
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Easy to say, harder to do.
• 12:06
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Because we don't think we're strong enough then.
• 12:12
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Like I'm not a strong person.
• 12:14
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: What are people gonna say?
• 12:16
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: They're gonna judge me, they're gonna judge me even more.
• 12:23
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And I don't want to be one of those people.
• 12:25
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I don't I don't want to be, I don't want to have to explain to people.
• 12:31
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And look, we all have things going on in our lives, we all have things in our minds and our bodies and our souls, our spirits, everything.
• 12:40
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We all have a lot going on.
• 12:48
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I know there's at least one person out watching, listening, that either themselves or somebody else that they may know may need a little bit of help.
• 13:06
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Life isn't over when you ask for help.
• 13:10
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If it was, I would not be living here in the year 2026.
• 13:17
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: 2017 would have been would be on my team so for the year.
• 13:31
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So life life isn't over.
• 13:33
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's really what you what you make of it, and that's why I it's one of the reasons why I'm so passionate about passionate about voices for voices and the work we're doing and the things that are gonna be happening over the coming days, weeks, months, years.
• 14:03
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's been a long time coming.
• 14:08
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And if I didn't ask for help and I didn't get the help and didn't accept the help in 2017, again, I don't know if I'd be here.
• 14:27
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We've heard maybe the the quote sometime saying, yeah, you can't help somebody else if you're not willing to help yourself.
• 14:49
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You can't help others if you don't help yourself.
• 14:55
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You can't pour out of an empty glass.
• 14:59
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So we talk about self-care a lot.
• 15:03
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We gotta refill that glass on a continuous basis.
• 15:11
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's not a bad thing.
• 15:19
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's recognizing that you have an electric car, need electricity to drive it.
• 15:27
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: The gas power, diesel power, you need the diesel fuel, the the gasoline, the drive, to mow grass, to weedy, you name it.
• 15:45
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So if you open up the you know our body's fuel tank, there's nothing in there.
• 15:53
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We're just gonna burn out and burn out and burn out and burn out some more.
• 16:02
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And then some thoughts could taint that stuff of years ago Some of that may have happened.
• 16:21
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And then we start thinking, oh my gosh, could that been a this?
• 16:26
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Could that been that?
• 16:29
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And then we And by not asking for help, we're not gonna be able to get out of that period of time.
• 16:55
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We're not gonna be able to get out of that period of time.
• 17:00
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We're just gonna stay in this rut.
• 17:08
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Nine eight eight is the crisis and unalive ideations, etc.
• 17:21
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: A way to help, to get help, not you can reach out.
• 17:27
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I know at least in Ohio, and I think it's across the United States.
• 17:31
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If you're in another country, you would definitely want to check and see if your country, where you live, has something similar.
• 17:47
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Some people are gonna love you, some people are not.
• 17:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I've had to accept that.
• 17:55
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I talk about it a lot because it it's on my mind a lot.
• 18:06
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so I'm just doing the best I can.
• 18:10
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And that's all we really are asking of ourselves.
• 18:15
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We're doing the best we can.
• 18:20
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's easy to judge, it's easy to compare.
• 18:26
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Easy to do those things.
• 18:29
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's harder to reach inside and think there's something am I missing some kind of nutrient?
• 18:42
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Is my gas or fuel level low or empty?
• 19:01
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So we just wanna go from one human to another and another and another.
• 19:14
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We just wanna be there be a sounding board, listen.
• 19:24
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Listening isn't the most glamorous thing to do.
• 19:28
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's not you know, you don't say, Oh, I was listening and it was for three hours, and I missed so many things, and like if you're not prepared to spend some true time being present in the moment with another person, then you wouldn't be there.
• 19:59
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: You wouldn't have decided to go or to text or to call or to email your video chat.
• 20:19
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So again, we can't help others if we don't help ourselves.
• 20:28
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And this isn't like, oh, I'm gonna give you a pat on the back.
• 20:32
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That that is absolutely untrue.
• 20:38
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It could be the difference between life and death of a person, of a family.
• 20:53
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: One minute everything seems fine and then the next minute doesn't.
• 21:01
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: The further along we go without seeking seeking help that some of us so dearly need.
• 21:19
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's not gonna make the it's not gonna make a social media post.
• 21:26
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's not gonna make the news.
• 21:32
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But what it's gonna do is gonna increase the odds of survival of being a person that's in the moment.
• 21:51
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Like I just get so focused where I That thing, those things that I may be doing, looking up, reading, whatever the case may be, that helps me from getting too far in advance, or too far in the past.
• 22:28
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Talk about this a lot.
• 22:29
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Body doesn't know the difference between positive stress and negative stress.
• 22:40
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Doesn't the body just knows stress.
• 22:48
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Once I found that out, then it was quite a bit through the process of me digging out of that valley, out of that rut.
• 23:03
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And I was like, that makes it's like, well, I have you know, this one thing and this second thing and this third thing, and there's some positives here.
• 23:15
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But why do I feel so burnt out?
• 23:20
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Because our body doesn't know the difference between good stress, like I want a competition, and I I did this one thing that I've been wanting to do, and I I I finally did it.
• 23:45
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Or I was in I don't know, some kind of accident, and I'm on my way to the hospital.
• 23:59
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Hypotheticals were talking about.
• 24:24
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And so one of the big deals for me was that I'm not a machine.
• 24:37
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Oh, business, you know, you talk about efficiency and efficiency, and how can we do more with less, and that's kind of you know, we go look back at the industrial revolution.
• 25:00
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Well, we have this machine that does this, and they don't need a break, and they don't they don't need maintenance for quite a while, and and and so management will look and go, oh, we can eliminate so many jobs, and then there's families that are that are in utter shambles because they didn't do anything wrong, it was just that management wanted that efficiency more than they wanted to be a good ambassador, good human being.
• 25:54
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That's why people have two screens at the office, not everybody, a lot of people, some have three screens because we want to be so efficient.
• 26:10
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We look at thing one over here, thing two, and then thing three, and we want to have all that at our fingertips, and then we have touch screens and all these things to make us the human being more efficient.
• 26:35
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Human beings are not machines and that takes a little bit to get get over that we're not.
• 26:58
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We're not mach or human beings are not machines.
• 27:09
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Once we just start believing in ourselves, and then we slow down, we tap the brake every once in a while.
• 27:21
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We do a little bit of self-care, incorporate that into our schedule.
• 27:30
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We if we need to see a therapist, we see a therapist.
• 27:35
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If we need to see a psychiatrist, we see a psychiatrist.
• 27:38
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If we need to take medication, we need we take medication.
• 27:50
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I'll be the first to tell you, I never never wanted to be taking medication on a daily basis, just didn't.
• 28:00
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: And that was a big deal.
• 28:02
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That was one of the things I was thinking about that late night in the hospital.
• 28:11
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Well, what if I get what if I get prescribed medication and I might have to take it the rest of my life?
• 28:22
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I don't want to do that.
• 28:23
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That's gonna interfere with my party and lifestyle.
• 28:33
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Once we get over ourselves, once I get once I got over myself about that, I don't even think about having a drop of alcohol.
• 28:54
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Friend Don, forty years, sober and drug free, incredible.
• 29:08
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: This isn't for me to tell you that you should drink, that you shouldn't drink.
• 29:15
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's up to you, it's not up to me.
• 29:18
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I'm sharing my life, my experiences.
• 29:26
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We have a really high bar for guests.
• 29:31
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So I just want you to think about that when you're watching and listening to our shows.
• 29:39
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Say, wow, there's a lot of solo episodes.
• 29:42
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We have a real high bar.
• 29:44
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We have over 515 episodes.
• 29:49
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We have a very high bar to get over to be on the show.
• 30:02
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Because now the rules are reversed.
• 30:04
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: People that didn't want to be part of the organization, it's amazing.
• 30:16
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Once you get a little bit of success, and people start going, oh, I want to be on the show now.
• 30:27
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: They want to be on the show episode 5, 10, 15, 20, 20, 50.
• 30:33
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's okay.
• 30:35
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: It's okay, there's nothing wrong with that.
• 30:38
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But I'm gonna run our nonprofit, our business in that manner.
• 30:48
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I don't owe anybody anything, you don't owe anybody anything.
• 30:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So don't feel like you do or you should.
• 31:01
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Like, oh, I better help this person.
• 31:04
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Yeah, we want to help uh over three billion people.
• 31:07
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That's right.
• 31:17
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: But riding coattails versus being being part of an organization through thickened through thin.
• 31:34
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: That's what means a lot.
• 31:50
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Just wanna thank you for joining us on this particular episode of the show.
• 31:57
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: If you can give us a thumbs up, like, follow, subscribe, share, reshare, repost, pull your phone out, share the voices for voices, TV channel podcast with 25 or 50 contacts in your phone.
• 32:15
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We would greatly appreciate that, and so will your contacts once they start watching andor listening to the show.
• 32:31
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: So thank you very much.
• 32:35
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We'll see you.
• 32:37
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: We'll talk to you on a future episode.
• 32:43
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: I hope you have a great day, and we will see you again.
• 32:52
  Voices for Voices, Justin Alan Hayes: Goodbye for now.