Latest / The Steve & Jeff Show / S3 E16 - The Name Game

Transcript

S3 E16 - The Name Game · The Steve & Jeff Show

0:01
SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the Stephen Jeff Show, the funniest podcast ever.
0:06
SPEAKER_01: Hey people, I don't write the words, I just read them.
0:11
SPEAKER_01: Be sure and follow or subscribe to the Steve and Jeff Show wherever you listen to podcasts.
0:16
SPEAKER_01: Write us a review while you're there too.
0:19
SPEAKER_01: And now, here's Steve and Jeff.
0:23
SPEAKER_01: Well, hey Johnny, thank you and welcome back.
0:26
SPEAKER_01: I'm assuming Johnny is still your name.
0:28
SPEAKER_01: And hey Jeff, how's it going?
0:30
SPEAKER_00: It's going good.
0:31
SPEAKER_00: It's it's kind of good to be back doing what we do best and and personally to try to follow up on all those promises I made for New Year's.
0:39
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
0:40
SPEAKER_01: Well, I can imagine, because I I think one of your resolutions was you're become a better person.
0:44
SPEAKER_01: And that I that Jeff, that's gonna be a full-time job for you.
0:47
SPEAKER_01: So I I know it's just and and becoming taller, which uh you know that's hard really at our age, you know.
0:52
SPEAKER_01: I really I'm not even sure those were your resolutions because New Year's seems like so long ago, Jeff.
0:57
SPEAKER_00: I really don't know what those resolutions were, which is gonna make it kind of hard to fulfill them.
1:02
SPEAKER_00: And the truth is I really don't give a shit, but well, right, um, yeah, but so I think I'll go with kind of a generic thing, which is like, you know, I just want to be a better person, yeah, better father, better citizen, whatever, and to be in better shape, which is one that I've made a priority for myself.
1:18
SPEAKER_01: Wow, that's great.
1:19
SPEAKER_01: What have what have you done to get into shape?
1:21
SPEAKER_00: Well, I joined a club, you know, it's one of those clubs that reminds me of a of my dad when I think I was five years old.
1:28
SPEAKER_00: My dad and I went to New York and he took me to an old Jewish club, and it was kind of the ones do you do you remember reading that Barry Manilo used to perform at these like Jewish health clubs?
1:40
SPEAKER_00: I don't know what steam baths and stuff steam baths, and basically it's just a bunch of food and you know, and they they have some entertainment and a bunch of fat people sitting around smoking and just relaxing.
1:53
SPEAKER_01: I have read that you can burn up to 250 calories eating a bagel.
1:57
SPEAKER_01: I mean, it's unbelievable.
1:58
SPEAKER_01: I stock up on bagels.
1:59
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I you know, I'm I'm feeling good.
2:01
SPEAKER_00: I think that's true, although I have really big bagels that I eat, so I don't know.
2:04
SPEAKER_01: No, probably 350, you know.
2:06
SPEAKER_00: Probably, probably 350.
2:08
SPEAKER_00: But, anyways, so I joined this club.
2:10
SPEAKER_00: I was a little disappointed because it wasn't quite like that.
2:13
SPEAKER_00: A bunch of rich guys, and you go work out for 10 minutes and then you all go to the lockers, and everyone's kind of sitting around and talking and you know, just a lot of conversation.
2:24
SPEAKER_01: Ah, locker room talk.
2:25
SPEAKER_01: Boy, what they tell us some.
2:27
SPEAKER_01: What do they talk about?
2:28
SPEAKER_00: Well, that was what was kind of cool.
2:29
SPEAKER_00: You know, I didn't know them per se, but we're sitting around just kind of talking about you know, a little bit about politics, a little bit about the weather.
2:38
SPEAKER_00: And then we're sitting there, and over next to me is this cell phone, and next to the cell phone is this rich guy that you know was kind of bragging about all the money he had, and the cell phone goes off, and the rich guy picks up the phone and you know answers it.
2:53
SPEAKER_00: And of course, immediately we all stop because we want to hear what the story is because we're all wanna want to live vicariously through this rich guy.
3:00
SPEAKER_00: Sure.
3:01
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
3:02
SPEAKER_00: And I guess it was his wife because uh there's a woman on the other end, and she says, Hi, honey, are are you at the club?
3:08
SPEAKER_00: And he says, Yeah, and she says, Uh, I don't want to bother you, but I'm shopping right now and I saw this beautiful leather coat, and I was hoping that it would be okay if I buy it.
3:19
SPEAKER_00: And he's like, Well, how much does it cost?
3:22
SPEAKER_00: And she says, It's two thousand dollars.
3:24
SPEAKER_01: Costco, you can buy like 100 coats for you could buy a Costco for$2,000.
3:29
SPEAKER_00: I mean, you can, but the rich guy, you know, he's like, Oh, sure, hon, you know, whatever you want.
3:34
SPEAKER_00: And then she says, Well, well, well, one other thing, she says, I I was I stopped at a car dealership and I found this car that I thought was great.
3:42
SPEAKER_00: I was I was hoping that maybe I could buy it.
3:45
SPEAKER_00: And he said, Well, how much is the car?
3:47
SPEAKER_00: And she said,$90,000.
3:49
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
3:50
SPEAKER_01: And we're like the car.
3:51
SPEAKER_00: I know.
3:52
SPEAKER_00: And so he goes, Yeah, sure, you can buy it.
3:54
SPEAKER_00: You know, make sure you get all the options.
3:56
SPEAKER_00: Is that it?
3:57
SPEAKER_00: And she says, Well, just one last thing.
3:59
SPEAKER_00: I was talking to Sarah for a couple hours and she heard about this house that was for sale, and she took me over to look at it, and I just love it, it's perfect, and it's only$980,000, which is a lot of money.
4:13
SPEAKER_01: Depends on location, you know.
4:15
SPEAKER_01: Might not be that big a house.
4:16
SPEAKER_00: And so he says, Okay, you can buy it.
4:18
SPEAKER_00: You know, why don't you offer 900?
4:20
SPEAKER_00: And if you have to go the other 80,000, that's okay.
4:24
SPEAKER_00: And she says, Okay, she says, I'll I'll see you later.
4:26
SPEAKER_00: I love you so much.
4:27
SPEAKER_01: That's a just a whole nother world of of wealth, Jeff.
4:30
SPEAKER_00: You know, beyond anything that I could even relate to.
4:33
SPEAKER_00: And then the rich guy, you know, he hangs up the phone, but then he looks at all of us and he says, Hey, anybody here know whose phone this is?
4:41
SPEAKER_00: And that made me wonder almost immediately, am I rich?
4:45
SPEAKER_00: Is that my phone?
4:46
SPEAKER_00: Was that my wife?
4:47
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I don't know.
4:48
SPEAKER_00: You know, I I don't know what the definition of being rich is.
4:52
SPEAKER_00: Am I an uh what do they call those oligarchs?
4:55
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, or oligarhies or oligarchs, you know, or am I the olive gardens or am I a billionaire?
5:02
SPEAKER_00: You know, I was just confused and I and I was kind of wondering, am I one of those?
5:07
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
5:07
SPEAKER_01: Well, you know, Jeff, I think it's one of those things that if you have to ask, you're not.
5:12
SPEAKER_01: Uh you know what I mean.
5:13
SPEAKER_01: So I mean, I think really, if you were, boy, you've been holding out on your family and yourself.
5:19
SPEAKER_01: If I think we're we're just below that class, we're like we're what you might call upper middle oligarchs.
5:24
SPEAKER_01: We're kind of upper upper middle oligarchs, that's what we call it, but they tend to call us suckers and losers, uh-huh, which includes everybody, you know, that's not them.
5:32
SPEAKER_01: But you know, don't feel bad, don't feel bad.
5:35
SPEAKER_01: If you make less than a billion a year, you're a sucker and a loser, right?
5:39
SPEAKER_01: So you're in the class with us.
5:41
SPEAKER_01: There are only 758 members in the billionaire club.
5:45
SPEAKER_01: Well, 757, you know, because there's one, but you know, actually, maybe after the crypto scam and the doggy membership scam, it might be bad, it might be 758.
5:57
SPEAKER_01: He might be there, he might finally be there legit, but who knows?
6:00
SPEAKER_01: But I digress.
6:01
SPEAKER_01: It's not like you're a loser or by yourself or anything, you know.
6:05
SPEAKER_01: You're you're a loser with a lot of other losers.
6:07
SPEAKER_00: Or I'm a sucker, you know, yes, could be a sucker.
6:11
SPEAKER_00: Or a loser or sucker and a loser.
6:13
SPEAKER_01: I don't know what the term is, but that's interesting.
6:15
SPEAKER_01: I I think you can be either or both.
6:18
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I personally I think I I like to do both because there's some sucker things that I like, like you know, credulity and and cartoons, and then there's some loser things I like like drinking and spending too much money, you know.
6:32
SPEAKER_01: So I mean I I kind of like to do them both, you know.
6:34
SPEAKER_01: I'm really separate.
6:35
SPEAKER_01: I support both cultures, you know.
6:37
SPEAKER_00: So you're saying that it's a good thing to be an oligarch or a bad thing, or uh you should I just want to be a regular billionaire?
6:45
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm not either, but which which one should I be sort of aiming for?
6:49
SPEAKER_01: Either one's fine, although you are making it a little sound a little bit like a rich pro being rich is not a good thing.
6:56
SPEAKER_01: And that's that's very out of style these days, Jeff.
6:58
SPEAKER_01: Oh no, no, you don't do that.
7:00
SPEAKER_01: Make no mistake, billionaires are people too, just like corporations.
7:04
SPEAKER_01: Here's here's a way to think about it, right?
7:06
SPEAKER_01: Typical billionaire makes a ton of money, tries to buy a few favors here and there, give tax benefits along the way, make even more money.
7:14
SPEAKER_01: They don't really focus on controlling anyone, they just want to help themselves and their families.
7:18
SPEAKER_01: You know, they just want to build some wealth.
7:20
SPEAKER_01: Okay, well, that's one thing.
7:21
SPEAKER_01: The oligarch, though, very different, very different thing.
7:24
SPEAKER_01: It's a very small subset of the billionaires, and they actually help our executive order writer run people's lives in our country and really run the country and to a large extent, let's face it, Jeff, large extent, the world.
7:39
SPEAKER_01: Uh they make billions of dollars by entering these things that make them billions of dollars, and then they take over countries and they take billions of dollars and they just serve the the leader.
7:52
SPEAKER_01: You know, they think of themselves as superheroes, and some of their followers think of them as superheroes too, but they're you know, like a Marvel type character, but they're really they're really more like a villain, like uh oh, the Joker, perhaps.
8:05
SPEAKER_01: Cool part is we don't even know they're evil.
8:07
SPEAKER_01: Instead, we just look up to them because you know they got money, so they gotta be cool, right?
8:12
SPEAKER_01: If they got money, right?
8:13
SPEAKER_00: And that's kind of the thing, right?
8:15
SPEAKER_00: People look up to people who have a lot of money, right?
8:18
SPEAKER_00: And somehow relate to them or they give them a lot of street cred for you know making a lot of money, which I think is really cool.
8:26
SPEAKER_00: So now they're involved in a lot of uh decisions like for the government and changes and stuff.
8:31
SPEAKER_00: Now, were they were they involved in the changing of the name of the Gulf of Mexico?
8:35
SPEAKER_01: Oh, you mean the Gulf of America?
8:36
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I still like Gulf of Steve better, but uh, you know, yeah, I do too.
8:41
SPEAKER_01: That was an executive order, and we got that executive order, and there it was.
8:45
SPEAKER_01: We just changed everything here.
8:47
SPEAKER_01: See, I I looked at Google Maps, and it's here it is, right sitting on there, Gulf of America.
8:53
SPEAKER_01: Because, you know, Google, hey, they they helped make it happen, right?
8:56
SPEAKER_00: Are they oligarchs too?
8:58
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, oh yeah.
8:59
SPEAKER_01: Well, well, they're both, they're mixed ethnics, they're billionaires and oligarchs.
9:04
SPEAKER_00: Hmm.
9:05
SPEAKER_00: Got it.
9:06
SPEAKER_00: So I'm looking at it on this map and it it looks good.
9:10
SPEAKER_00: I the only question I have is it looks like the golf is misspelled.
9:15
SPEAKER_00: Uh it's not golf the sport, it's the body of water, right?
9:19
SPEAKER_00: Isn't that shouldn't it have been G U L F?
9:22
SPEAKER_01: Oh, not anymore.
9:23
SPEAKER_01: No, that was way too confusing.
9:25
SPEAKER_01: So there was an executive order that did away with all that, and so now it makes sense.
9:31
SPEAKER_01: Did away with the word golf, you know, the the you golf.
9:34
SPEAKER_01: Uh and not the you golf, because they're not gonna name it after you, Jeff.
9:38
SPEAKER_01: I'm sorry about that.
9:38
SPEAKER_01: They didn't want to name it after me either, so don't feel bad.
9:40
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's really just a way of simplifying the language, you know, none of that pronoun stuff, because really another executive order, we're all the same gender now, Jeff.
9:49
SPEAKER_01: So I don't know if you knew that, but we're all female, in fact, believe it or not.
9:53
SPEAKER_01: So there you go.
9:54
SPEAKER_00: But I but I digress again back and and blonde with with big boobs, right?
9:59
SPEAKER_01: Well, yeah.
10:00
SPEAKER_00: I mean I think we're required to be that.
10:02
SPEAKER_00: So yeah.
10:03
SPEAKER_01: In fact, this actually opens an interesting topic because this year we're gonna be changing the names of a lot of different things.
10:09
SPEAKER_01: You know, some of them are going back to the way it used to be, some of them are looking ahead to a bold new right uh future in the country.
10:18
SPEAKER_01: These new names are gonna honor those brave people who made our country famous, and of course, including I am not forgetting for one minute, those 1,500 beautiful patriots that got pardoned for January 6th, even the ones who have since been rearrested or shot by police since the pardon.
10:39
SPEAKER_01: Uh, even them, yes.
10:40
SPEAKER_01: And and of course, that includes the oligarchs and the royal family.
10:45
SPEAKER_01: I mean, our royal family, not the British royal family, you know, ours, right.
10:48
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I get it.
10:49
SPEAKER_00: And and you know, I think there is there's a value to changing the names of things, they make you feel better, they they give you more of a direction they to understand who you are.
11:00
SPEAKER_00: You know, if you tell me I'm a female, now now I feel better about right about well.
11:06
SPEAKER_01: You remember a bunch of shows ago, you were saying, hey, maybe you wanted to explore what it'd be like to be a female.
11:11
SPEAKER_01: Well, hey, Jeff, executive order, you are you are now, so there you go.
11:15
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think it's a great idea.
11:16
SPEAKER_00: And you know, perfect example is I I was reading the other day that Israel is is gonna be renaming the Palestinian people.
11:24
SPEAKER_00: I think they're gonna be calling them Gazonians or Gazanians, something like that.
11:30
SPEAKER_00: Well, that's gonna be hard to spell it will, but the reason they're doing it is because you know, these people have false hope that they're gonna end up back when the war is over, they're gonna go back to Israel, and you know they're never going back.
11:42
SPEAKER_00: So oh no, no, there's there's no way.
11:45
SPEAKER_00: So you want to get them used to believing that where they are now was where they were supposed to be in the beginning, right?
11:52
SPEAKER_00: And and so that's where renaming really helps.
11:56
SPEAKER_01: Well, and you know, Jeff, of course, since executive order, we're gonna take over Gaza.
12:01
SPEAKER_01: So, you know, really the only way they're gonna be able to stay in Gaza is if they work in one of those beautiful new casino hotels that will be shortly bankrupt.
12:10
SPEAKER_01: But uh, you know, really what I think Gaza needs more than casino hotels, Jeff.
12:15
SPEAKER_01: You know, people that are going through crisis need to be cheered up, and so I think they need like a an improv theater.
12:23
SPEAKER_01: I it could be like the comedy store of the Mideast, you know, it it's just it's really like a golden spot on there, but but I digress, that's just me.
12:32
SPEAKER_01: But anyway, the Gizonians.
12:34
SPEAKER_01: I that's a nice little word, Gizonians.
12:36
SPEAKER_00: That's how it sounds.
12:37
SPEAKER_01: That's I mean, it's too bad that too bad that shortly they're not gonna exist, but hey, it's a great name for however long they're around.
12:43
SPEAKER_01: When we rebrand stuff, oh my goodness, we're gonna rebrand, we're gonna rebrand everything.
12:48
SPEAKER_01: I mean, well, rename.
12:49
SPEAKER_01: I have heard there's an executive order coming out.
12:52
SPEAKER_01: We're gonna rename Native Americans.
12:54
SPEAKER_00: I I can't even imagine what they're gonna rename it to.
12:57
SPEAKER_00: What are they thinking?
12:58
SPEAKER_01: Rumor has it that they're going to rename Native Americans, they're going to rename them as Native immigrants.
13:05
SPEAKER_01: Because you know, they may be from here, but they may be from somewhere else.
13:09
SPEAKER_01: I mean, really, isn't everybody from somewhere else at some point in history if you look back far enough?
13:14
SPEAKER_01: So, you know, they're probably native immigrants.
13:16
SPEAKER_01: And I know that our leader and the oligarchs that you know own him will take over all those casinos that they've started, and you know, and they'll be bankrupt soon too.
13:26
SPEAKER_01: But you know, so that that should be should be great.
13:29
SPEAKER_00: I think that's great.
13:30
SPEAKER_00: So I thought they were only going to change, you know, the Gulf of America, but sounds like there's a a bunch of changes coming down the pike.
13:37
SPEAKER_01: Oh, Jeff, you have no idea.
13:39
SPEAKER_01: Before you know it, we'll have new names for all kinds of things, all the major lakes, mountains, maybe the oceans, uh, many will be in honor of our, of course, our great leader.
13:50
SPEAKER_01: I I understand that they're going to rename the Appalachian Mountains, the Trump Mountains.
13:55
SPEAKER_01: It'll be hit a usage fee and all that.
13:57
SPEAKER_01: And that that's gonna be the easiest and the most popular one to change because boy, they love him there, certainly.
14:03
SPEAKER_01: And you know, it's so much easier to spell than Appalachian.
14:06
SPEAKER_01: And then, you know, you don't have to worry about saying the appalachian, the Appalachian, Appalachian, you know, you don't have to you don't have to worry about any of that.
14:13
SPEAKER_01: It's just all pronounced the same way.
14:15
SPEAKER_01: And oh, this May, an executive order's coming out, they're gonna rename the Mississippi River to the Miss River.
14:23
SPEAKER_01: Trump oh Miss River.
14:26
SPEAKER_01: That you know, there was some talk to name it the Miss River, but you know, they fired her.
14:30
SPEAKER_01: Uh well, they gave her a buyout.
14:31
SPEAKER_01: Okay, but but no, no, no.
14:34
SPEAKER_01: They the Miss River, because again, every we're all the same gender.
14:37
SPEAKER_01: It's being shortened in part though, because you know, the executive really felt that Mississippi is confusing since we already we have a state named Mississippi.
14:47
SPEAKER_00: That's true.
14:48
SPEAKER_01: Spelling is so hard again, he could never remember how to spell it, couldn't even say it most times, you know.
14:53
SPEAKER_00: I can't wait till uh the the new map comes out and I can learn all the new names that at least most of the states will be the same.
15:00
SPEAKER_00: I assume all the states will be the same.
15:01
SPEAKER_01: Uh for the most part, yes, but some are gonna have to change, and it might be some combination with other states.
15:08
SPEAKER_01: So let's just say Canada might be our 50th state or 49th, if you know what I mean.
15:13
SPEAKER_01: Just ways that make sense.
15:15
SPEAKER_01: You know, for example, uh New Mexico.
15:16
SPEAKER_01: I mean, we've talked about this, right?
15:18
SPEAKER_01: Wow, oh, that's gonna be completely gone.
15:21
SPEAKER_01: And it's gonna be actually merged into Florida.
15:23
SPEAKER_01: We were always thinking Texas would be the, but no, it's gonna be merged into Florida.
15:27
SPEAKER_00: We talked about this.
15:28
SPEAKER_00: I don't know where the idea that we could have a Mexican state in our country came from.
15:34
SPEAKER_00: Sounds like pretty a pretty liberal idea.
15:36
SPEAKER_00: And you know, moving it to Florida, I don't get, but it makes as much sense as as anything else.
15:41
SPEAKER_00: And uh, you know, we're not close to each other, but I'm sure the leader has planned for that.
15:45
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I'm sure.
15:46
SPEAKER_01: And it it the fact that it doesn't make a lick of sense to anyone doesn't mean there's not a plan.
15:52
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yes, of course.
15:54
SPEAKER_01: Obviously, talking about renaming again, anything related to Canada is gonna have to go.
16:00
SPEAKER_01: Oh, please.
16:01
SPEAKER_01: First of all, no more hockey.
16:02
SPEAKER_01: Executive order banning hockey.
16:05
SPEAKER_01: And then, oh, next, right after hockey, Canadian whiskey.
16:09
SPEAKER_01: Oh gosh, they're gonna name rename that Freedom Sauce.
16:13
SPEAKER_01: And of course, the top brand is gonna be renamed Trumponian Club, and to have those Canada geese, they're gonna be banned from our airspace.
16:22
SPEAKER_01: I mean, because really uh birds probably aren't real and and you know they're spies anyway, right?
16:28
SPEAKER_00: I never realized that Canada was the enemy and that they were so horrible.
16:32
SPEAKER_01: Neither did they, right?
16:34
SPEAKER_00: So, but I'm really glad that that we have a president who who has his priorities set and he knows who to go after.
16:40
SPEAKER_01: And it's so old school to go after Russia, China, yeah, uh Canada.
16:46
SPEAKER_01: Hey, there's an enemy we haven't picked on in the past.
16:49
SPEAKER_01: Let's do it now.
16:50
SPEAKER_01: Well, I guess we did maybe a couple hundred, two hundred and fifty years ago, but that's that's a long story, and we've basically forgotten all that, and it was the British anyway, so yeah, I really don't want us, but a whole new chapter.
17:01
SPEAKER_01: I we we don't have to be bound to the enemies of the past, we can pick whole new enemies.
17:07
SPEAKER_01: It's so exciting.
17:07
SPEAKER_00: So I think that's great.
17:09
SPEAKER_00: Are they renaming anything else that I should be prepared for?
17:13
SPEAKER_01: Oh, absolutely, Jeff.
17:14
SPEAKER_01: They're renaming all kinds of things.
17:16
SPEAKER_01: This is like this is like you know, Adam in the Bible naming everything.
17:21
SPEAKER_01: It's just a whole rename.
17:22
SPEAKER_00: Is he renaming Adam?
17:24
SPEAKER_01: I haven't heard yet, but don't be surprised if he's renamed like like Jared or something.
17:29
SPEAKER_01: I mean, yeah, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.
17:30
SPEAKER_00: That makes sense.
17:31
SPEAKER_01: But uh renaming everything they can.
17:35
SPEAKER_01: Also, there's gonna be an executive order relocating the Capitol.
17:38
SPEAKER_01: That's about time.
17:39
SPEAKER_01: I mean, Washington, who wants to go to Washington, D.C.
17:43
SPEAKER_01: My gosh, it's just no, it's always the weather's you.
17:46
SPEAKER_01: I mean, unless you have happen to get those two weeks in March, right?
17:49
SPEAKER_01: The weather's miserable, it's either too cold or too humid.
17:53
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's just you know, it's crowded, the traffic's terrible.
17:56
SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh, yeah, it takes an hour to get off the on-ramp, you know, sometimes it's congested.
18:01
SPEAKER_01: I mean, we're the United States, right?
18:04
SPEAKER_01: And they're not even a state, so the people there aren't really in the United States, because that would require a state, right?
18:12
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's just common sense.
18:14
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so where are they thinking of moving it to?
18:16
SPEAKER_01: Oh, they're moving it to a beautiful location.
18:18
SPEAKER_01: New location is gonna be Palm Beach.
18:21
SPEAKER_01: Well, I mean Melania Beach, Florida.
18:24
SPEAKER_00: That sounds perfect, but just one thing.
18:26
SPEAKER_00: It's I assume we're moving it because our fearless leader lives there, and uh yeah.
18:31
SPEAKER_01: Oh, and is that the main reason?
18:33
SPEAKER_01: And it's just it's just a beautiful place.
18:35
SPEAKER_01: I mean, a lot of people have said they want the capital in Palm Beach.
18:39
SPEAKER_01: People are saying, I've heard, I've gotten letters, a lot of people want the capital in Palm Beach.
18:44
SPEAKER_00: My only question is what happens if he's I was just about to say something's gonna get us both in a lot of trouble.
18:51
SPEAKER_00: Uh, let me see if I can rephrase this.
18:53
SPEAKER_00: What happens if he chooses not to be our leader anymore?
18:58
SPEAKER_00: Because you know, he can be a leader as long as he wants and he'll never lose an election.
19:02
SPEAKER_00: So he's got one election working for him.
19:05
SPEAKER_00: But will the the capital move with whoever the new president is?
19:10
SPEAKER_01: No, no, no.
19:12
SPEAKER_01: Once it's there, it's there.
19:13
SPEAKER_01: First of all, he's not gonna leave office voluntarily.
19:17
SPEAKER_01: Really, if he leaves office voluntarily, he not only might go to jail, but he gives up all that the grifting possibilities, you know, he gives up all that money.
19:28
SPEAKER_01: So, no, he's never gonna leave office voluntarily.
19:31
SPEAKER_01: And his party, oh my goodness, they have him protected front, back, and you know, not to be crude, but various other body parts that really nobody wants to touch.
19:41
SPEAKER_01: They are touching and kissing.
19:42
SPEAKER_01: Let me just tell you.
19:43
SPEAKER_01: Oh my gosh.
19:44
SPEAKER_01: So, yeah, no, he he's probably got-I mean, however long he lives, he'll probably be in power 50 years after his death.
19:51
SPEAKER_01: I mean, you know, he's got he's not going anywhere.
19:53
SPEAKER_00: No, and Steve, you and I both have been down to Florida before, and that area is just perfect for oligarchs to move into.
20:02
SPEAKER_01: Oh, absolutely.
20:03
SPEAKER_01: And and you know, for a government that's run by the oligarchs, hey, we're better.
20:07
SPEAKER_01: I mean, you know what?
20:08
SPEAKER_01: Washington, D.C., that's that's for that's for the bureaucrats.
20:11
SPEAKER_01: That's for those people that the boring ones who, you know, know their job and like act professionally.
20:17
SPEAKER_01: That's so dull.
20:18
SPEAKER_01: That is so last year.
20:19
SPEAKER_01: But you know, you're asking about a successor.
20:21
SPEAKER_01: The most recent election uh would be the last election, wouldn't have to vote anymore.
20:26
SPEAKER_01: And so, you know, thank God you can take that to the bank.
20:29
SPEAKER_01: You're not gonna be able to vote anymore.
20:31
SPEAKER_01: So obviously you can't lose again.
20:33
SPEAKER_01: Uh far as the successor, like in you know, maybe 2065 or 75 or something, you know, it'd be like all royal families.
20:42
SPEAKER_01: His title simply be passed on to Don Jr.
20:45
SPEAKER_01: or Baron or whoever happens to be around at the time.
20:49
SPEAKER_01: So the name stays the same.
20:51
SPEAKER_01: Let's move the White House to the well, the new, the new Trump White House.
20:56
SPEAKER_01: So you know, they they really it's interesting, they're not changing the name of the White House.
21:00
SPEAKER_01: They they like that word white.
21:02
SPEAKER_01: And I think it's appropriate, don't you?
21:04
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, oh yeah, it works for them, yes.
21:06
SPEAKER_00: And especially in that neighborhood.
21:07
SPEAKER_00: Um, so it's great to know that we're in good hands for what the next hundred years or so.
21:12
SPEAKER_00: Oh, at least.
21:12
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
21:13
SPEAKER_00: I'm having a hard time keeping up with everything.
21:16
SPEAKER_00: It's you know, things are moving so fast.
21:18
SPEAKER_00: I I just it makes me a little off balance, a little bit edgy.
21:23
SPEAKER_00: Um, for me, I guess I just wish that I had a better understanding how everything is going to work.
21:28
SPEAKER_00: You know, I know that you could see the future, but I cannot.
21:30
SPEAKER_00: And so for me, you know, I wish there was a little bit of a roadmap that can fill me in on what's coming up.
21:36
SPEAKER_01: The guidepost I would give you about a roadmap is chaos promised, chaos delivered.
21:42
SPEAKER_01: I'm not sure a roadmap really exists, like a an actual roadmap, because that would involve, you know, knowledge and planning and thought.
21:49
SPEAKER_01: So, no, I don't think there is any of that.
21:52
SPEAKER_01: But if you're looking for an example of where we're headed, you can look at one of the best places in the world to live.
21:59
SPEAKER_01: I'm not talking about France or Australia or even Vegas.
22:03
SPEAKER_01: I am talking about Russia.
22:06
SPEAKER_01: All you have to do.
22:08
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yes, absolutely.
22:09
SPEAKER_01: All you have to do is look at how that country's run by Putin, and you got a pretty good picture of where we're headed in, you know, a few short not very long, probably.
22:19
SPEAKER_00: So for example, how how how does I'm I haven't been to Russia, so how does Russia run things?
22:25
SPEAKER_01: Oh, well, it's it's really not complicated at all.
22:28
SPEAKER_01: You st first of all, you take total control of the government, you make elections, you do away with elections or make them irrelevant.
22:36
SPEAKER_01: You take all the money you can grab to yourself, you make people think you're getting money for the country, but you're keeping it, right?
22:45
SPEAKER_01: You're keeping it all yourself.
22:46
SPEAKER_01: Double check.
22:47
SPEAKER_01: And you just tell people the world is the way the leader sees it.
22:52
SPEAKER_01: And you keep telling them that, and sooner or later they start repeating it.
22:56
SPEAKER_01: And then just for sprinkles on the on the chocolate sundae, you go and you you kind of bully another country to get more wealth, but there again, it's wealth for you, it's not wealth for the country.
23:07
SPEAKER_01: Country doesn't get anything out of a country, loses.
23:10
SPEAKER_01: You get the money.
23:11
SPEAKER_01: That's that's how the oligarchs work.
23:13
SPEAKER_01: Oh, and don't forget, oh, everybody who disagrees with the oligarch is the enemy.
23:17
SPEAKER_00: And this is where Canada comes in because can you think of a better country to bully than Canada?
23:24
SPEAKER_00: I don't even know if they even have their own army.
23:26
SPEAKER_01: Oh, they're so polite.
23:27
SPEAKER_01: If we bullied them, they'd apologize to us for being in the way of our bullying.
23:30
SPEAKER_01: Oh my please, it just it's just oh yeah, perfect people.
23:35
SPEAKER_01: See, Mexico, they might stand up.
23:37
SPEAKER_01: I mean, oh yeah, it might be a little tough there, but Canada, oh geez, yeah, what fun we can have with Canada.
23:42
SPEAKER_00: I get it.
23:43
SPEAKER_00: Steve, it's great to feel proud again of the United States of America.
23:48
SPEAKER_00: This is gonna be amazing.
23:49
SPEAKER_01: Well, you know, it it is, but that name's gonna change too.
23:54
SPEAKER_00: You mean the United States of America is changing its name?
23:59
SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah.
24:00
SPEAKER_00: You know, I guess.
24:00
SPEAKER_01: Oh, new executive order, yeah.
24:02
SPEAKER_01: No, that's coming out.
24:03
SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah, yeah.
24:03
SPEAKER_00: Well, and to be fair, I I think it's probably long overdue.
24:08
SPEAKER_00: I mean, United States of America, that that sounds like we're communists or or Democrats.
24:14
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
24:15
SPEAKER_00: I can't have that.
24:17
SPEAKER_01: No, well, we won't.
24:19
SPEAKER_01: We won't have any of that.
24:20
SPEAKER_00: No, no.
24:21
SPEAKER_00: So I think I think it's important to rename rename it kind of update it.
24:25
SPEAKER_00: And uh let me guess.
24:27
SPEAKER_00: Walmart as the name.
24:30
SPEAKER_00: Oh well that what name are they thinking of using then?
24:33
SPEAKER_01: Well, no, I think you know Mart's in it, but it's not Wall.
24:37
SPEAKER_01: I think you know, I think you know who it is.
24:39
SPEAKER_01: You got it.
24:40
SPEAKER_01: Uh, even though it's you know it's an obvious choice, really.
24:44
SPEAKER_01: And it's it's driven in part by the fact that Walmart wouldn't pay enough for the name, you know.
24:50
SPEAKER_01: There's that, but but I digress.
24:52
SPEAKER_01: Other than being an obvious choice, you know, they there wasn't an executive order that wound up not getting used that actually had a different name.
25:01
SPEAKER_01: It was gonna be renamed, we were gonna be renamed Little Russia.
25:04
SPEAKER_00: I like that.
25:05
SPEAKER_01: Great name, and and very uh how should I say it?
25:08
SPEAKER_01: Very accurate as far as systemically accurate.
25:12
SPEAKER_01: But turns out they wanted to use that name on Ukraine first, so Ukraine is gonna be the Little Russia, and so we're gonna be, you know, the Trump mart, if you will.
25:22
SPEAKER_01: So uh it'll be easy.
25:23
SPEAKER_01: It'd be like Italy, France, be all one word like Walmart.
25:26
SPEAKER_01: So it'd be like Italy, France, you know, nice, nice ring to it, huh?
25:29
SPEAKER_01: Sounds like you could get get some good discounts there, maybe.
25:32
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
25:32
SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, eggs.
25:33
SPEAKER_01: I I don't know.
25:35
SPEAKER_00: Sounds great.
25:35
SPEAKER_00: Sounds like it's a it'll be a new day for America.
25:38
SPEAKER_00: I mean Trump Mart.
25:40
SPEAKER_00: Right, yeah, yeah.
25:42
SPEAKER_00: And I have no idea, no I almost made a mistake again.
25:46
SPEAKER_00: I have no doubt that things will turn out great.
25:50
SPEAKER_00: And uh I'm just optimistic.
25:51
SPEAKER_00: What about you, Steve?
25:53
SPEAKER_01: Well, Jeff, since I know that this program is being listened to by doggies and various others, uh, yes, I am sure that it will work out great, and I want that on the record.
26:05
SPEAKER_01: I think this is outstanding.
26:07
SPEAKER_01: Yes, uh, we are all in support of this, like every major media outlet.
26:12
SPEAKER_01: We are we're throwing up our hands in advance, Jeff.
26:14
SPEAKER_01: Yes, we absolutely are.
26:16
SPEAKER_01: Uh, the best part is we'll finally be one people, real Americans.
26:22
SPEAKER_01: Well, you know, real Trump martyrs.
26:24
SPEAKER_01: Uh maybe we'll get those little badges.
26:25
SPEAKER_01: Hey, maybe we'll get, you know, you think we'll get breaks?
26:28
SPEAKER_01: Maybe?
26:28
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
26:29
SPEAKER_01: Maybe 10 minute breaks.
26:31
SPEAKER_00: And I think when you said throw up, I think that's that's probably true.
26:35
SPEAKER_00: I'm there's gonna be a lot of things a little noxious right now.
26:38
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, I there's gonna be quite a bit of that in the future.
26:40
SPEAKER_01: I I have seen the future, and uh, you know, you need a lot of that.
26:43
SPEAKER_01: You remember that stuff in schools that the janders would spray that it was like a sawdust thing, and you're gonna need a bunch of that.
26:48
SPEAKER_00: And just for the record here, I am more excited about it than you are, Steve.
26:53
SPEAKER_00: I am more on board than you are.
26:54
SPEAKER_00: I just want this documented.
26:56
SPEAKER_00: Do not edit this out of the episode.
26:59
SPEAKER_01: You may be more excited about it than me, but I don't want any doggy or one of his tech boys listening to this to think that I am not completely on board.
27:10
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yes, you may be more than me, but I am more than a hundred percent.
27:14
SPEAKER_01: So you're probably more than two hundred percent, Jeff.
27:17
SPEAKER_00: Oh, well, thank you.
27:18
SPEAKER_00: Well, that that makes me feel a little better and probably should head to bed now.
27:22
SPEAKER_00: Um I'm hoping I can wake up tomorrow morning and start being an oligarch or it or go to the olive garden or go to the oligarchy.
27:30
SPEAKER_01: Go to the olive garden.
27:30
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
27:32
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
27:32
SPEAKER_01: I hear it.
27:33
SPEAKER_01: We are just about to get kicked out of eccentric Lady Land Studios, whatever name, they haven't changed one bit.
27:38
SPEAKER_01: So Johnny, if assuming that's still your name, we might rename Johnny just a little with the we'll we'll talk about that off off offline sometime.
27:46
SPEAKER_01: But Johnny, get us out of this name game episode.
27:50
SPEAKER_01: Right, Steve?
27:52
SPEAKER_01: It's still Steve, right?
27:54
SPEAKER_01: Okay then.
27:55
SPEAKER_01: Guests of the Steve and Jeff Show stay at the overrated and technically evacuated Hardy Hotel, where furloughed federal employees enjoy a 50% tariff on all rooms.
28:05
SPEAKER_01: Isn't that great?
28:07
SPEAKER_01: If the staff is swarmy, you're at the Hardy.
28:11
SPEAKER_01: And win in the Metro, dine at Appropriation Station's newest location, the Snowblock.
28:16
SPEAKER_01: This formerly ethnic restaurant had the DE scrubbed out for you and I.
28:20
SPEAKER_01: Enjoy bland food at exaggerated prices, and don't forget our watery drinks.
28:25
SPEAKER_01: Sorry, three drink minimum and passport required.
28:28
SPEAKER_01: This is for the leopardate my face production in association with heartright people media.
28:33
SPEAKER_01: Be sure and follow or subscribe to the Stephen Jeff show wherever you listen to the podcast.
28:38
SPEAKER_01: Register review.
28:42
SPEAKER_01: I hope they don't change my name.
28:44
SPEAKER_01: I've always been just Johnny.
28:47
SPEAKER_01: Well, in Arizona, they know me as Wayne.
28:50
SPEAKER_01: And at the bar the other night, I told people I was Jeff.
28:55
SPEAKER_01: It was that time when