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Can Extroverts Have Social Anxiety? · RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way

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  SPEAKER_01: Today's episode is produced by my friends at Walk West.
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  SPEAKER_01: If you're looking to grow your brand and generate leads through podcast or video production, head over to walkwest.com.
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  SPEAKER_01: Okay, let's start the show.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Rise up, live joy your way.
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  SPEAKER_00: From emotional intelligence through cognitive distortions, certified life and wellness coach Comedy Wood is on a mission to help people see the magnificence of their own unique human spirit.
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  SPEAKER_00: Through these small bites of self-visualization and self-confidence, you can have healthy relationships, success in business and career, and live the life you want to live.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_01: Hi there, and welcome to another episode of Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
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  SPEAKER_01: Whether it's morning, afternoon, or evening, I just want to say thank you for taking some time out of your day to spend with me.
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  SPEAKER_01: And today I want to tackle the question of can an extrovert also be somebody with social anxiety?
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_01: So oftentimes we'll say if you're shy and reserved and you get nervous around people, then you must be an introvert.
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  SPEAKER_01: Well, sorta kinda.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_01: It is true that people who uh do prefer their own company uh more than those of others might have more of an introverted nature.
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  SPEAKER_01: But an extrovert can still potentially have social anxiety.
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  SPEAKER_01: You don't have to have one or the other.
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  SPEAKER_01: Some of us have a little bit of both.
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  SPEAKER_01: Oftentimes I'll say I'm an introverted extrovert.
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  SPEAKER_01: When we're talking about extrovert, introvert, a lot of it has to do with where we feed our energy off of.
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  SPEAKER_01: So being an extrovert, generally you do feed off of the being around other people and feeding off of that energy.
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  SPEAKER_01: However, an extrovert with social anxiety can almost create an inner conflict because you're this outgoing person by nature and you do like to be around people, but sometimes when you're around them in social situations, that can start to feel overwhelming.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_01: And so you're thriving on the social interaction and you want to hang out with other people, but because when you get in those situations, you start to feel really nervous, it can create a sense of internal discomfort that sometimes you start to wonder, should I even continue going into these social situations?
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_01: And a misconception about extroverts with social anxiety is that they're that they're always the life of the party and it's totally easy for them, and that you know, people just see you as super outgoing and you're always up for a good time.
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  SPEAKER_01: But what's really true is what's happening inside is you might be on the outside, you might be this outgoing person who really does like to be around people, but on the inside, your anxiety is is rising and you might start to feel your heart pounding, and that you're you start stepping outside of that window of tolerance.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_01: You start being hype hypo aroused because as somebody with social anxiety, you might get worried about being around other people and saying the right thing.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: When somebody with social anxiety, um, you know, because when we talk about social anxiety, it is usually people associate with an introvert, somebody who's just naturally shy, and so therefore they're worried about being in social situations.
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  SPEAKER_01: Somebody who is loves being around people can also have those anxieties as well.
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  SPEAKER_01: That's it's really important that we don't put people in these boxes because when you you could still have an inclination to be around people, but in certain group settings, that can cause the stress um and and worry.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_01: So, how do we deal with this?
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_01: If you happen to be an extrovert and you start, you're starting to notice, like, I'm I'm really I do love to be around other people, but like when I'm there in some certain social situations, I do start to feel overwhelmed.
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  SPEAKER_01: What you can do is start to gradually expose yourself to certain social situations.
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  SPEAKER_01: So just notice like which situations are more of a trigger for you.
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  SPEAKER_01: And maybe you start with the ones that seem to be less of a trigger and you gradually expose yourself.
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  SPEAKER_01: So it's it's almost like a form of exposure therapy.
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  SPEAKER_01: But also when you're there, you can practice ways of recalibrating your nervous system.
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  SPEAKER_01: So practicing deep breathing.
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  SPEAKER_01: And this works whether you're an extrovert with social anxiety or you're an introvert with social anxiety, you know, coming back to that sense of breath where you're grounding yourself, you're paying attention on the in-breath and the outbreath.
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  SPEAKER_01: People will have no idea that you're doing it.
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  SPEAKER_01: You count in for four on the in-breath, and you exhale for a count of six.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: Again, nobody has to know that you're going through that.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_01: Another way that you can practice some mindfulness in the moment is to just feel your feet on the ground, come up with a mantra.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_01: I'm safe, everything is fine.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, those are ways to regulate the nervous system as well.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_01: You can also get support from your friends and family.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_01: So if you're in those social situations and you're noticing this pattern of, I do love to go, I love to be around people, and then I'm noticing the overwhelm.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_01: Share it with people, share it with your closest people so that when they're there with you, they can be that support system.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_01: You can lean on them, you can engage in conversation with those individuals before maybe extending out and talking to people that you haven't spoken to before.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_01: So it's really important to just know that you're not alone, which is a it's it's an act of self-compassion.
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  SPEAKER_01: You know, you're do-y're not going in this alone.
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  SPEAKER_01: You can actually seek the support of other people, you can share what's happening for you.
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  SPEAKER_01: And it's a way of also staying present in the situation.
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  SPEAKER_01: Um, the other thing that you can also pay attention to is just the thoughts that you're having.
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  SPEAKER_01: A lot of times when we're in these social situations, we might go down the path of just catastrophic thinking or almost our minds make a bigger story of what's happening.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's just paying attention to what those thoughts are and naming and noticing them.
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  SPEAKER_01: Not, I'm not saying push them away, but call them out and then come back to that really, really powerful question of well, what's actually true here?
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  SPEAKER_01: Because it's a way that sometimes we can re recognize that our minds might be taking us down a totally different path that's not actually true.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_01: And if we come back to what's actually true, we recognize everything is fine and we can engage in conversation with people.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_01: And again, introvert, extrovert, it doesn't matter if you're dealing with social anxiety, it's okay to start smaller.
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  SPEAKER_01: You don't have to jump into a big group of people, talk to one or two people first and build that muscle, build that comfort, regulate the system as you're there, and then work your way through.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_01: With social anxiety, it's also important to recognize that you know, we don't go into a shaming process of that question of like, what's wrong with me?
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_01: Why can't I just get this together?
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_01: As soon as we start going down that path, now we're going down a path of self-shaming, and we're saying there's something categorically wrong with me.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_01: Instead, it's about understanding what is coming up for you.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe there is a narrative that that is playing in the background that we just have to bring to the awareness so we can work through it.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_01: And as you work through it, you start to realize that the anxiety that you're feeling in these social situations decreases.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_01: And again, friends and family are great, but if you need support with something like this, having that support system is not a bad thing.
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  SPEAKER_01: Asking for help to work through it actually will give you the space to build and grow through the situation rather than having it shut you down.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_01: If you feel like coaching could be helpful for you, or you want to at least just have a conversation about how it might be a support to move you through either this type of situation or something else that's going on in your world, feel free to reach out to me anytime at coachwithcomedy.com.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_01: And until next time, stay well.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening to Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: For more information, book a chat with comedy at www.chatwithcomedy.com or visit her website at www.comedywood.com.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: You can also find comedy on Facebook or Instagram.
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  SPEAKER_00: Username it's authentic me.
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  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for listening.