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The Best WORST Movie In History... · The conspiracy

0:00
Speaker 1: I watched a movie recently, and because we're besties and
0:03
Speaker 1: I love you and appreciate you and don't want to
0:05
Speaker 1: rob you of this experience, I need to tell you
0:08
Speaker 1: about it because it is the worst best movie I've
0:11
Speaker 1: ever seen in my life, and it is Troll too.
0:17
Speaker 2: Come with me, all of you, our friends don't need
0:19
Speaker 2: to justify their cruel action.
0:24
Speaker 1: I know I don't usually do videos like this, but
0:27
Speaker 1: I'm very excited to tell you about this movie. And
0:30
Speaker 1: if you've seen it, I think you'll still enjoy this
0:34
Speaker 1: adventure down memory lane. And there will be spoilers, but
0:37
Speaker 1: I think it'll be all right. I think it's okay.
0:40
Speaker 1: I highly recommend you watch this movie. But I highly
0:44
Speaker 1: recommend you watch this video because it'll give you a
0:46
Speaker 1: lot of context that you don't need. But I'm not
0:52
Speaker 1: going to mince words.
0:53
Speaker 3: Let's just get into it.
1:06
Speaker 2: Actually, I like popcorn.
1:08
Speaker 1: So recently Caleb sat me down and said, have you
1:10
Speaker 1: seen Troll two before? Because we're trying to figure out
1:12
Speaker 1: what movie to watch. And I said, no, I haven't
1:14
Speaker 1: even heard of that. What is that? And he said,
1:16
Speaker 1: I'm not going to explain anything. I'm just going to
1:18
Speaker 1: turn it on. So I watched it, just raw dog,
1:21
Speaker 1: no context right in, and I was baffled. Never laugh
1:25
Speaker 1: so much in my life. I don't think in a movie,
1:27
Speaker 1: I'm going to give you a little context before I
1:29
Speaker 1: get into it, just so you have that at least,
1:31
Speaker 1: and I think it'll make it funnier. But yeah, Troll
1:34
Speaker 1: two isn't just bad. It's a masterpiece of accidental comedy
1:39
Speaker 1: that required an Italian film crew, a Mormon cast, and
1:44
Speaker 1: one hundred thousand dollars budget to achieve cinematic immortality. So
1:49
Speaker 1: the nineteen ninety film, directed by Claudio Fragasso has become
1:53
Speaker 1: the gold standard for so good It's bad. I think
1:57
Speaker 1: it was invented by this movie, earning de voted midnight
2:01
Speaker 1: screenings worldwide and spawning an acclaimed documentary about its bizarre legacy,
2:06
Speaker 1: which I also recommend you watch. But what began as
2:08
Speaker 1: a sincere attempt at horror filmmaking in the Utah Desert
2:13
Speaker 1: became something far more entertaining, a perfect storm of language barriers,
2:18
Speaker 1: amateur actors if that just regular people who've never acted before,
2:24
Speaker 1: and vegetarian goblins that somehow created the most watchable, unwatchable
2:30
Speaker 1: movie ever made. So the Genesis of Troll two began
2:34
Speaker 1: with Italian filmmaker Claudio Forgosso and a screenwriter wife, Rosella Drudi,
2:40
Speaker 1: who previously collaborated on titles like Zombie three and Rats
2:44
Speaker 1: Night of Terror. Don't know if you've seen those. I haven't.
2:47
Speaker 1: I'm gonna watch them now though, But Dirdy wrote the
2:50
Speaker 1: script after becoming frustrated with friends turning vegetarian. I get
2:55
Speaker 1: that to another level, and she later described it as
2:59
Speaker 1: quote Faro, analysis of today's society. And if you watch
3:03
Speaker 1: this movie, you'd never think it's it is it means anything,
3:07
Speaker 1: but knowing that I appreciate it even more now. And
3:10
Speaker 1: it's about the evils of plant based diets basically. And
3:14
Speaker 1: producer Eduard sarlou O, sorry if I said your name wrong,
3:18
Speaker 1: who had financed killer Clowns from outer Space, definitely don't
3:22
Speaker 1: need to watch that, but you can approach them with
3:25
Speaker 1: a rubber goblin mask. He'd acquired rights to and requested
3:29
Speaker 1: a family friendly horror film without blood to avoid censorship issues,
3:34
Speaker 1: and by god, did we get it.
3:36
Speaker 2: So.
3:36
Speaker 1: The production assembled in the summer of nineteen eighty nine,
3:39
Speaker 1: with a three week shooting schedule and one hundred thousand
3:42
Speaker 1: dollars budget. Who would do that? Oh wait, we did that,
3:46
Speaker 1: but it was one week and it was like a
3:49
Speaker 1: quarter of that budget, so mad respect and the all
3:53
Speaker 1: Italian crew, who spoke virtually no English except for the
3:57
Speaker 1: costume designer Laura Jemser, descended upon the Mormon communities of
4:03
Speaker 1: Morgan and Porterville, Utah. And this cultural clash was immediate
4:08
Speaker 1: because the chain smoking, wine drinking Italians were baffled by
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Speaker 1: the local Mormon population just abstinent from any alcohol, tobacco,
4:17
Speaker 1: or caffeine, and the makeup artist Marizzio Tranni spent the
4:22
Speaker 1: entire shoot trying to unsuccessfully convince the Mormon crew members
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Speaker 1: to drink wine with him, which is like so funny
4:28
Speaker 1: to me. And the casting process became legendary for its
4:32
Speaker 1: chaos because George Hardy, an Alabama dentist with zero acting
4:37
Speaker 1: experience which you'll see, won the role of Michael Waits
4:41
Speaker 1: by shouting you can't piss on hospitality to a room
4:45
Speaker 1: of nine chain smoking Italians who understood nothing he said
4:49
Speaker 1: but loved his energy, and that line makes it into
4:51
Speaker 1: the movie You Can't piss On Hospitality, and it is
4:54
Speaker 1: one of the best lines of the movie, and he
4:56
Speaker 1: was paid fifteen hundred dollars and had to provide his
4:59
Speaker 1: own work. Meanwhile, child actor Michael Stephenson secured his role
5:03
Speaker 1: by screaming loudly in the smoke filled audition room. And
5:07
Speaker 1: most remarkably, Don Packard, who played the disturbing store owner,
5:12
Speaker 1: was cast well on a weekend pass from a psychiatric
5:15
Speaker 1: hospital at the University of Utah. And you see him
5:19
Speaker 1: in the movie, dude, and he looks like you think
5:22
Speaker 1: he's a really good actor, and then you're like, oh no,
5:24
Speaker 1: that's just him. And he later admitted to be heavily
5:27
Speaker 1: under the influence of marijuana during the filming and having
5:31
Speaker 1: murderous thoughts about his child co star. You can't write this,
5:37
Speaker 1: but it was written. Luckily the child co star was Okay,
5:40
Speaker 1: what are you going to do to me? Daddy? And
5:42
Speaker 1: the title troll Too represents one of cinema's most brazen
5:47
Speaker 1: marketing deceptions because the film was originally called Goblins. Because newsflash,
5:53
Speaker 1: there's no trolls in this movie. It's also not a
5:57
Speaker 1: sequel to any movie named Troy. It's just a standalone
6:02
Speaker 1: movie called Trolls two. Because the marketing people knew that
6:06
Speaker 1: the movie Trolls did somewhat good in the box office,
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Speaker 1: and they didn't think that Goblins would do that well.
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Speaker 1: So they're just like, call it Trolls too, Maybe that'll
6:14
Speaker 1: get people in. But it didn't because the movie only
6:18
Speaker 1: made like twelve hundred dollars in meters. I was twelve
6:23
Speaker 1: hundred and sixty three dollars worldwide. It's one of the
6:27
Speaker 1: lowest theatrical grossing movies in cinema history. At least we
6:31
Speaker 1: beat that house. I need further win. But that's just
6:35
Speaker 1: a little let's just a little lorred drop about the movie.
6:38
Speaker 1: Let's just dive into what this movie's about. I called
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Speaker 1: let's get back to it. So the film opens with
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Speaker 1: what is perhaps and Ofa's most unintentionally disturbing bedtime stories ever,
9:25
Speaker 1: and Grandpa Seth sits by young Joshua's bed, spinning a
9:28
Speaker 1: tale Princess Bride grandpa style. Princess Bride is one of
9:32
Speaker 1: my favorite movies. They totally ripped that off from three
9:34
Speaker 1: years ago. But he spins a tale about a traveler
9:37
Speaker 1: who encounters evil goblins in the forest. And you see
9:40
Speaker 1: these goblins for the first time and you realize what
9:44
Speaker 1: you're about to encounter. Okay, what kind of movie this
9:46
Speaker 1: is about to be? Because they're just children with the
9:50
Speaker 1: spirit Halloween masks on and it's awesome. And these little
9:55
Speaker 1: children goblin things chase this traveler who looks like Peter Pan.
9:59
Speaker 1: For some it's like Peter Pan and Robin Hood put together.
10:03
Speaker 1: His hat is crazy. Also kind of looks like the
10:06
Speaker 1: guy the main character from Princess Bride, but whatever, But
10:08
Speaker 1: they chase the traveler into the woods and he's terrified.
10:12
Speaker 1: But then the traveler falls over and then he wakes
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Speaker 1: up and he sees a beautiful girl who has fake
10:18
Speaker 1: freckles the size of tic TACs on her face for
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Speaker 1: some reason, and she offers him some green, yellow goop
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Speaker 1: substance of some sort, and he drinks it because she's hot.
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Speaker 1: What else is he gonna do? And then he quickly
10:29
Speaker 1: transforms into a half man, half plant and starts sweating
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Speaker 1: chlorophyll green goo and he's eaten by the goblins. Just
10:37
Speaker 1: a classic bedtime story your grandparents tell you. You know,
10:42
Speaker 1: some of us read good Night Moon, Others tell tales
10:44
Speaker 1: of horrific deaths involving small man eating vegetarian goblins. Right,
10:49
Speaker 1: there's more unsettling news because as Grandpa Seth is finishing
10:52
Speaker 1: up the story, Josh's mom flicks on the light and
10:55
Speaker 1: asks why Joshua is still up, and then Joshua replies,
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Speaker 1: Grandpa Seth was telling me a play the clips tell
11:05
Speaker 1: me still And then a plot twist revealed like no
11:09
Speaker 1: other less than five minutes into the movie happens, and
11:11
Speaker 1: the camera pans out and shows there's no one in
11:13
Speaker 1: the rocking chair. Grandpa Seth died six months ago, but
11:17
Speaker 1: for some reason, the chair is still moving, as if
11:19
Speaker 1: someone was just sitting in there, which is we're not
11:21
Speaker 1: gonna question this movie, Okay, We're just gonna let it be.
11:24
Speaker 1: And this casual revelation about ghostly storytelling gets barely a mention,
11:29
Speaker 1: as if deceased grandfather's regularly appearing for bedtime stories is
11:33
Speaker 1: perfectly normal, and the wait's household because the mom's just like, ah,
11:37
Speaker 1: not again. You know, it's like, oh man, but what
11:42
Speaker 1: we do get is like some quick lore drop, and
11:45
Speaker 1: that happens throughout this entire movie. There's like, it's all
11:47
Speaker 1: pretty surface level. But then sometimes the characters will just
11:50
Speaker 1: drop so much context and character development in like three seconds,
11:54
Speaker 1: and you're like, what what was that? And we get
11:57
Speaker 1: slapped with that a lot. And here the mom sits
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Speaker 1: down on the bed and she's like, you know, your
12:02
Speaker 1: grandpa died six months ago, and I'm upset about it,
12:05
Speaker 1: and i'm his daughter, and your dad's upset about it,
12:08
Speaker 1: and your sister's upset about it, and you just need
12:10
Speaker 1: to get over it. You need to banish him from
12:13
Speaker 1: your mind quote unquote, which is a crazy thing to
12:16
Speaker 1: say to like, we've got a nine year old. And
12:19
Speaker 1: then she asks him to remind her about the diagnosis
12:21
Speaker 1: that the doctor gave him, you know, so the audience
12:24
Speaker 1: has context as to what's going on because we can't
12:26
Speaker 1: figure it out on our own. You know, this movie
12:28
Speaker 1: really just spoon feeds us and I love it. But
12:30
Speaker 1: Joshua says that the doctor said, I just make inventions
12:34
Speaker 1: in my subconscious and I really need to stop. So
12:37
Speaker 1: we get that context, and then we hard cut to
12:40
Speaker 1: Hally's room, which is Joshua's sister and the daughter of
12:43
Speaker 1: the family, and her boyfriend and friends at that point
12:45
Speaker 1: are breaking into her room through her window, you know,
12:48
Speaker 1: as they do, and then we get slapped in the
12:50
Speaker 1: face with some more lore drop, just really quick, about
12:53
Speaker 1: twenty seconds worth, just getting fed with the silver platter again,
12:56
Speaker 1: and we figure out that the boyfriend is just obsessed
12:59
Speaker 1: with his bros And they have to go everywhere with them,
13:02
Speaker 1: and she doesn't like that. She wants to have a
13:04
Speaker 1: loane time with her boyfriend, which like fair enough, queen,
13:06
Speaker 1: And she says that my family's going to a little
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Speaker 1: town called Millbog for a month, and I really want
13:12
Speaker 1: you to come with me, but I don't want your
13:13
Speaker 1: bros to come with me, And then he says, well,
13:15
Speaker 1: kill my bros. Come and she's like no, and he's like, Okay,
13:19
Speaker 1: I'll see you tomorrow. Peace out right, Oh Elliott, it
13:23
Speaker 1: will be wonderful. And my boys, you bring them with you.
13:26
Speaker 3: I never want to see you again.
13:27
Speaker 1: And then a little bit before that, we cut to
13:29
Speaker 1: the parents talking about their trip. He's like, we're going
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Speaker 1: to Nilbog for a month. There's twenty six people in
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Speaker 1: the town. We're going to live like peasants like our
13:37
Speaker 1: ancestors did.
13:38
Speaker 2: We'll be living like our ancestors did. Yeah, we'll be
13:41
Speaker 2: peasants and farmers.
13:42
Speaker 1: The dialogue in this movie is crazy. But anyway, the
13:46
Speaker 1: boyfriend agrees to meet the family in the morning to
13:47
Speaker 1: head off to Nilbog. But then we hard cut to
13:50
Speaker 1: the whole family in the station wagon, which also turns
13:53
Speaker 1: into a different car by the end of the movie,
13:55
Speaker 1: by the way, which is crazy, just the biggest continuity
13:58
Speaker 1: era I've ever seen in any But anyway, we hardcut
14:01
Speaker 1: to the family in the car. The boyfriend's not there.
14:03
Speaker 1: He was late, he never showed up, and Holly's really
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Speaker 1: upset about that, and the family's just like, ah, shut
14:09
Speaker 1: the fuck up, Holly, Oh my god, and they try
14:12
Speaker 1: to kind of comfort her for about ten seconds and
14:15
Speaker 1: then the mom unblinking. I don't think she blinks in
14:18
Speaker 1: this movie, by the way. She's like, hurry, Joshua, sing
14:21
Speaker 1: a song. Sing a song that'll be no, that'll make
14:23
Speaker 1: everything okay. Sing a song. And the kid's like, ahh
14:25
Speaker 1: row row row your body and she's like, roh row row.
14:30
Speaker 1: I love it so much. It's so funny. But seriously,
14:34
Speaker 1: about mom doesn't blinky. Every dialogue situation of this movie
14:39
Speaker 1: feels like if aliens made a movie trying to guess
14:43
Speaker 1: what people sound like and talk like with each other.
14:46
Speaker 1: That's this movie. If if that makes sense, you just
14:49
Speaker 1: need to watch it to know. But what Holly and
14:51
Speaker 1: the rest of the family don't know is that Elliott,
14:54
Speaker 1: Holly's boyfriend, actually is headed to neil Bog to surprise her,
14:57
Speaker 1: to kind of like win her back. But he brought
15:00
Speaker 1: his bros with him. Is three bros, and they rented
15:03
Speaker 1: an RV and they're following the family that's restraining order
15:07
Speaker 1: worthy but whatever, we'll get back to that. And the
15:10
Speaker 1: only way that Elliott was able to convince that his
15:12
Speaker 1: bros to come is that he promises that there's a
15:15
Speaker 1: lot of hot women in nilbag, a place that has
15:18
Speaker 1: twenty six people, and he's never been to this place ever.
15:21
Speaker 1: There's no questions in this movie. Everybody's just like okay.
15:26
Speaker 1: And then we cut back into the family's car, where
15:28
Speaker 1: Joshua falls asleep and has a dream about becoming a plant,
15:31
Speaker 1: a half plant, half man, and he starts sweating that
15:35
Speaker 1: green chlorophyll juice, and his sister's talking to him in
15:38
Speaker 1: a fish eye effect menacingly about how he's eaten too
15:41
Speaker 1: much and how her and the family are going to
15:44
Speaker 1: eat him. And then the parents put on those spirit
15:47
Speaker 1: Halloween goblin masks and turn around and in some of
15:51
Speaker 1: the best slash worst practical makeup and effects I've ever
15:55
Speaker 1: seen in cinema history, josh gets just in pale by
16:00
Speaker 1: some tree trunk or something. It's pretty, it's pretty awesome,
16:03
Speaker 1: pretty gruesome, but not bloody, so it's okay. And then
16:10
Speaker 1: he wakes up and he says, no, don't eat me,
16:13
Speaker 1: and the family turns around. They're like classic Joshua, and
16:17
Speaker 1: the sister's just like, who want to you?
16:19
Speaker 3: Little brothers?
16:20
Speaker 1: So weird how they talk, but the family's just like
16:23
Speaker 1: unblinking as per usu and it's just totally chill about
16:26
Speaker 1: the whole situation, like this just happens on the rag
16:29
Speaker 1: And then time passes and Joshua then sees a man
16:31
Speaker 1: on the side of the road with a sign that
16:33
Speaker 1: says stop them, and then they get closer and he
16:36
Speaker 1: realizes that it's Grandpa's seth and then he tells his
16:38
Speaker 1: whole family to pull the car over, and they don't
16:41
Speaker 1: ask why. They don't say, like, oh, why do you
16:43
Speaker 1: need to go over? What's going on? The mom just says,
16:46
Speaker 1: you need to throw up, and the kid's like, yeah,
16:49
Speaker 1: it's like like that happens on the regular, Like he
16:51
Speaker 1: just throws up all the time. This kid's got a
16:53
Speaker 1: rough life. I think I think it's rough what's going on?
16:56
Speaker 1: But they pull over, he gets out, runs toward his grandpa,
16:59
Speaker 1: and then the grandpa drops some more lore, saying like
17:02
Speaker 1: you can't go to this town. You gotta turn around.
17:05
Speaker 1: This is bad. I'm getting creaked out, dude, you can't
17:08
Speaker 1: do this. And then the family is like, come on, Joshua,
17:10
Speaker 1: you gotta come back, and then he realizes that he's
17:12
Speaker 1: actually talking to what could be a murderer hitchhiker, just
17:17
Speaker 1: a middle aged murderer hitchhiker and the family's like, come on,
17:20
Speaker 1: and he's like, give me a ride, and he's like no,
17:22
Speaker 1: and then the family no, nobody talks about it. He
17:24
Speaker 1: just gets in the gard and they just keep driving.
17:27
Speaker 1: So he's hallucinating. Poor kid's hallucinating a lot. But I
17:30
Speaker 1: think at this point that's the smartest thing they will
17:32
Speaker 1: do in the movie, is is driving away from what
17:35
Speaker 1: is probably a murderous hitchhiker. So at least they got
17:39
Speaker 1: that going for them. And then they're almost in Nilbog,
17:41
Speaker 1: but then they drive past the RV that the boys
17:44
Speaker 1: are in and they're stopped and it's like they're like
17:46
Speaker 1: half a kilometer away, but they're like waving the car
17:49
Speaker 1: down for some reason, they know when they're gonna be
17:52
Speaker 1: driving by. And then the girl sees them and she's
17:55
Speaker 1: just like my stalker boyfriend, and then she goes as
17:59
Speaker 1: if they could see that from like a kilometer away,
18:02
Speaker 1: it's like one but they're like staying just outside of Nilbog,
18:08
Speaker 1: I guess, but they're in Nilbog, but they're not really, No,
18:10
Speaker 1: they're in Millbog. So then the family arrives in Nilboch
18:14
Speaker 1: and immediately they notice that the town's eerily deserted in
18:18
Speaker 1: the main street, and the few visible residents are just
18:22
Speaker 1: like thirty yard glare staring at them through the window,
18:26
Speaker 1: just like that's here also, but anyway, all these residents
18:35
Speaker 1: are just stone cold staring at them, And Joshua says
18:39
Speaker 1: like how creepy it is and how he doesn't like
18:41
Speaker 1: this place. But the parents are just like, that's just
18:43
Speaker 1: how country people are, Joshua, You idiot kid. They country
18:47
Speaker 1: people just don't have anything to do but stare at
18:50
Speaker 1: people from the city. I'd say, you can't write this,
18:53
Speaker 1: but somebody wrote this, which is awesome. But yeah, country
18:56
Speaker 1: people just just stand around in thirty yards stare down
19:00
Speaker 1: until you want to crawl back into your skin. Don't
19:02
Speaker 1: you know that that's common knowledge, Joshua. And also during
19:06
Speaker 1: this conversation, when the parents are telling him that the
19:09
Speaker 1: camera's like this close, it's like it's this closer, like
19:13
Speaker 1: that's just how country people are. Lead the way farmer waits.
19:17
Speaker 1: And then they finally make it to their exchange house.
19:19
Speaker 1: I don't think I mentioned that also, and they definitely
19:22
Speaker 1: said that in the beginning. They're like, we're going to
19:24
Speaker 1: an exchange house in Nilbog, but I think I missed
19:27
Speaker 1: that part. But anyway, the whole idea is that they're
19:29
Speaker 1: exchanging homes with a family for like a month, So
19:31
Speaker 1: this family from Nilbog is going to stay at their
19:33
Speaker 1: house and vice versa doesn't really matter to the story.
19:35
Speaker 1: They could have just been staying at a random house.
19:38
Speaker 1: We don't hear anything about the family, like being at
19:40
Speaker 1: the other house or anything, but it's fine. So they
19:43
Speaker 1: show up to these people's house and these people are
19:46
Speaker 1: also cold stone thirty yards staring at this family as
19:49
Speaker 1: they roll up, really not nice people. They like swap
19:52
Speaker 1: keys or something. And then they bump shoulders like it's
19:54
Speaker 1: a like it's a fifties snap and gang thing, and
19:58
Speaker 1: one of the kids is like a peaky boy for
20:00
Speaker 1: some reason. And then they're just like, all right, we'll
20:02
Speaker 1: have fun at our house and we'll have fun at
20:04
Speaker 1: your house. And then they don't bring in bags or
20:06
Speaker 1: anything into the house. They just talk about how hungry
20:09
Speaker 1: they are and just they all go to the kitchen
20:12
Speaker 1: and then there's just a feast laid out for them
20:14
Speaker 1: that's green. It's just all green, and no one says
20:18
Speaker 1: anything about it. It's just red flag number fifty two
20:22
Speaker 1: in nil Bog. But yeah, everything has this weird like
20:25
Speaker 1: green icing over it. It's just like green milk, green bread,
20:28
Speaker 1: green meat, green corn, and just green dessertscreen everything. It's
20:32
Speaker 1: like Saint Patrick's Day just threw up, but it's not
20:35
Speaker 1: Saint Patrick's day. And the only thing is said is
20:38
Speaker 1: the dad walks up to the table and he's just
20:40
Speaker 1: like typical country hospitality and the family's like hooray, yeah.
20:44
Speaker 1: Ever sits down and starts to pass stuff around, and
20:48
Speaker 1: then it goes to Joshua who's at the screen door,
20:51
Speaker 1: and Grandpa Seth is knocking on it and he's just like,
20:55
Speaker 1: don't let them meet the food, don't let them meet
20:57
Speaker 1: the phone. He's just like torturing this poor little kid.
20:59
Speaker 1: He's like, I can't get my grandpa out of my head.
21:01
Speaker 1: Before the whole family starts eating, they all get it
21:04
Speaker 1: like almost in their mouth. And then the grandpa says,
21:07
Speaker 1: you have thirty seconds to figure out how to get
21:08
Speaker 1: them not to eat. And I don't know why there's
21:11
Speaker 1: a time limit to Grandpa Seth's ghostly powers, but he
21:15
Speaker 1: freezes time to make sure that Seth can go over
21:17
Speaker 1: and do something about the food. So they're all frozen.
21:20
Speaker 1: Like Joshua does the only thing that can be done.
21:23
Speaker 1: He doesn't hit the food out of their hand or
21:25
Speaker 1: you know, just yell or something. He just stands up
21:29
Speaker 1: on the table, unzips his pants and pisses on everything.
21:33
Speaker 1: This is on all the food, I'm assuming in their mouths,
21:36
Speaker 1: because most of that food was mostly inside of their mouths.
21:40
Speaker 1: And then it just hard cuts to the whole family
21:42
Speaker 1: pissed at him, pun intended for, you know, pissing on
21:46
Speaker 1: the food, and the dad's just irate and throws Joshua
21:49
Speaker 1: over his shoulder, and then he gets to save that
21:53
Speaker 1: line that we were all saying. He's just like, you
21:55
Speaker 1: can't piss on hospitality because it's good Southern hospitality. He says,
22:01
Speaker 1: you can't piss on hospitality. And I love that line
22:03
Speaker 1: so much, And you can't piss on hospitality unintentional comedic gold.
22:07
Speaker 1: And then josh is like in bed and he throws
22:09
Speaker 1: him in bed and he's like, what are you gonna
22:11
Speaker 1: do to me? Dad? And the dad then starts to
22:13
Speaker 1: like take looks like he's taken off his belt, and
22:15
Speaker 1: you're like, damn, Josha's gonna get beat Joshua can't catch
22:18
Speaker 1: a break, but then he just starts tightening his belt
22:21
Speaker 1: and then he just says, I need to tighten my
22:23
Speaker 1: belt so I don't feel hunger pains, and you're just like,
22:26
Speaker 1: it's been like a couple hours since you've eaten. Calm down, okay.
22:30
Speaker 1: But then we get another like random law drop where
22:33
Speaker 1: he's like he thinks that Joshua was making them the
22:36
Speaker 1: whole family do a hunger strike and it's like a challenge,
22:39
Speaker 1: and then he drops this old lore that the Dad's like,
22:43
Speaker 1: I used to starve when I was a kid all
22:45
Speaker 1: the time, so I've had more practice than you, So
22:48
Speaker 1: bring it on, bitch, And you're like, where did this
22:52
Speaker 1: come from? Like you need to talk to a therapist.
22:54
Speaker 1: What is happening? Dad? I should feel bad for Joshua
22:57
Speaker 1: this whole time. Also, Joshua best actor in this whole thing,
23:00
Speaker 1: for sure, I'll see you tomorrow. But I think this
23:02
Speaker 1: movie is like unintentionally just touching on some really serious
23:06
Speaker 1: notes that they never delve into. But you're just like, oh, okay, goddamn,
23:10
Speaker 1: I want to hear more about that, but you never do.
23:12
Speaker 1: And then we cut to Holly's boyfriend Elliott, and then
23:15
Speaker 1: his other buddies are Arnold, who's like a sensitive type
23:18
Speaker 1: who looks perpetually constipated for some reason, and then brand
23:22
Speaker 1: who's just a generic jock, and Drew, who exists primarily
23:26
Speaker 1: to increase the body count basically, but you'll see that.
23:29
Speaker 1: But this, in their view is just like a perfect
23:31
Speaker 1: opportunity for a guy's weekend, involving minimal supervision and maximum
23:35
Speaker 1: high jinks. So they're all kind of settling in, and
23:38
Speaker 1: then Arnold constipated looking guy, steps out of the RV
23:41
Speaker 1: just to kind of like, I don't know, for the
23:44
Speaker 1: next scene to happen. I think we don't really know
23:46
Speaker 1: why he's out there, And he just immediately spots a
23:49
Speaker 1: gorgeous woman running for her life terrified of something, into
23:53
Speaker 1: the woods, and then he decides it's a great idea
23:56
Speaker 1: to scream at her and chase at her full tilt
24:02
Speaker 1: and woo her or something. But he just screams and
24:05
Speaker 1: starts running at her as she's screaming and running from
24:07
Speaker 1: something but now probably from him as well. Hormones, am
24:11
Speaker 1: I right, can't keep it locked in, so he keeps
24:16
Speaker 1: chasing her and then tackles her to the ground romanic guy,
24:20
Speaker 1: I guess, and the girl asks if he's one of
24:23
Speaker 1: the monsters, and she's like freaking out and he's like, no,
24:25
Speaker 1: I'm not, I want to see. And then she says
24:29
Speaker 1: she's dying because they made her eat stuff and he's like, oh,
24:33
Speaker 1: houl hole, am I gonna get laid? Hole hole? And
24:36
Speaker 1: then she's like there they are, and then these adorable
24:40
Speaker 1: little little goblin monsters wearing masks or whatever show up,
24:45
Speaker 1: and then they throw a giant spear right into Arnold's shoulder.
24:49
Speaker 1: Poor guy, he just want to get laid by a
24:51
Speaker 1: girl he attacked in the forest. Karma's a bitch. And
24:54
Speaker 1: then it cuts to his buddies hearing him scream bloody
24:57
Speaker 1: murder in the RV, like they're in the RV and
24:59
Speaker 1: he's in the forest, and then they're just like, huh,
25:02
Speaker 1: must be him deflowering one of the nilbog virgins. And
25:06
Speaker 1: you're like, what, but we asked no questions. We keep
25:10
Speaker 1: moving because logic and this movie do not mix. So
25:13
Speaker 1: Arnold and hot Girl number two, who has no name,
25:16
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna call her hot Girl number two run
25:18
Speaker 1: to this totally not weird or creepy house in the
25:21
Speaker 1: middle of the forest is to seek refuge, I guess,
25:25
Speaker 1: but like such a trope, you know, creepy house inside
25:28
Speaker 1: the middle of a forest. Who even does that, It's
25:31
Speaker 1: like embarrassing. Shut up anyway, Then we go to one
25:37
Speaker 1: of the greatest performances in cinema history and one of
25:41
Speaker 1: the greatest overall moments in the movie, because enter Credence
25:46
Speaker 1: leonor Gilgud this.
25:48
Speaker 3: Is my house.
25:49
Speaker 1: And they enter Credence's house and it kind of just
25:52
Speaker 1: looks like most millennials houses with plants just kind of
25:55
Speaker 1: growing in every single corner. Maybe what sets it apart
25:57
Speaker 1: is the just sheer amount of dry ice and the cauldrons,
26:02
Speaker 1: but otherwise just millennial house. And then she walks out
26:05
Speaker 1: and she's got like these rotten teeth and she looks
26:08
Speaker 1: like witchy and crazy, and she's like she's just like
26:11
Speaker 1: so OVERACTI. But it kind of just kind of just
26:14
Speaker 1: makes it kind of it brings the whole movie together.
26:17
Speaker 1: You know, she's clearly a villain, there's no you can't
26:21
Speaker 1: not know that she's a villian. And then she casually
26:23
Speaker 1: also just drops her entire Laura in about five seconds
26:26
Speaker 1: literally says everything before they can even be like my
26:29
Speaker 1: name's Arnold and my name's Hot Girl number two.
26:32
Speaker 2: She's like, I'm Cretin Selina Gilgood and my ancestors came
26:37
Speaker 2: from Stonehenge with that crack in the middle of my
26:41
Speaker 2: wall in the back of it there, and.
26:43
Speaker 1: I am from ancient druid origins and diam in finance
26:48
Speaker 1: or whatever. Ya da ya da. She's not in finance,
26:51
Speaker 1: but you know, you get it. She's a witch or whatever.
26:54
Speaker 1: I don't really know what she is, to be honest.
26:56
Speaker 3: Well, sticking her something wrong, like the.
26:59
Speaker 1: Cure you and they are like, yeah, we're I've gotten
27:03
Speaker 1: paled and she's bleeding green from somewhere and we need
27:07
Speaker 1: a hospital and she's like, there's no hospital and needed Bog.
27:14
Speaker 3: Yeah, I used to scream.
27:17
Speaker 1: The amount of time she just like opens her eyes
27:20
Speaker 1: is probably the same amount of times that the Weight's
27:23
Speaker 1: mom doesn't blink, if that makes sense. It's a lot,
27:26
Speaker 1: and it's incredible. But she says that there's no hospital
27:29
Speaker 1: in nil Bog, And we cure things ourselves in nil
27:33
Speaker 1: Bog with ancient evil goblin druid green chlorophyll, dry ice
27:37
Speaker 1: emitting juice, scoop drinks, and they're just like.
27:40
Speaker 4: Okay, So she brings out these spear mugs full of
27:45
Speaker 4: dry ice and gives it to them and they're just
27:48
Speaker 4: like And then almost immediately after drinking, the music gets
27:53
Speaker 4: insanely sinister as fuck, and Hot Girl Number Two just
27:57
Speaker 4: starts vomiting green slot and Arnold's just in the back like.
28:10
Speaker 1: And for some reason, instead of, you know, trying to
28:13
Speaker 1: run outside of this creepy house and this woman that's
28:15
Speaker 1: trying to poison you, she runs further into the creepiest house.
28:21
Speaker 1: She runs up the stairs, well choking. I've never personally
28:25
Speaker 1: choked on something and felt like I needed to do cardio,
28:28
Speaker 1: but what do I know, you know? But anyway, she
28:31
Speaker 1: goes upstairs and then just starts turning into green plant
28:35
Speaker 1: sludge and it's really fun. It's like this like goopy
28:38
Speaker 1: slop crap and it looks terrible and awesome at the
28:42
Speaker 1: same time. And then the little goblin adorable goblins come
28:45
Speaker 1: and start eating up the sludge that is Hot Girl
28:48
Speaker 1: number two. She's just sludge on the floor. She's like
28:50
Speaker 1: plant sludge. And then the greatest moment in this movie happens,
28:54
Speaker 1: and it pans over to Arnold, who's watching her with
28:57
Speaker 1: a drinking handstill, and he's looking up and he's has
29:01
Speaker 1: Just in case you didn't know what was going on,
29:03
Speaker 1: he says, they're eating her, and then they're going to
29:06
Speaker 1: eat me. Oh my god, play the club. I'm not
29:13
Speaker 1: going to eat me. Oh my god. It's the greatest
29:18
Speaker 1: line delivery I've ever seen in cinema. And how he
29:22
Speaker 1: didn't get an Oscar for that, we'll never know. But
29:24
Speaker 1: he has an Oscar in my heart. Just in case
29:26
Speaker 1: you didn't understand what was going on in the moment,
29:29
Speaker 1: Arnold swoops in with a silver platter of exposition. So
29:33
Speaker 1: it seems like this movie always wants you to know
29:35
Speaker 1: what's going to happen next, but then it just comes
29:38
Speaker 1: and slaps you in the face with the completely most
29:42
Speaker 1: unthinkable scene next after it's just like a whirlwind. Okay,
29:48
Speaker 1: it's a whirlwind of emotions because the next scene hard
29:51
Speaker 1: cuts to Holly just Hardest dancing in the mirror like
30:05
Speaker 1: and then she like turns off the music, goes back
30:07
Speaker 1: in the mirror, starts talking to herself like we all
30:09
Speaker 1: do in the mirror, okay, and then Grandpa Seth just
30:12
Speaker 1: appears in the mirror looking for Joshua. He's like, Joshua, dude,
30:18
Speaker 1: where are you. I didn't know ghosts could get mixed
30:20
Speaker 1: up with like what room people are in, but he did.
30:22
Speaker 1: It's really funny. And then she screams, and now the
30:25
Speaker 1: whole family comes upstairs and she's like, oh, I just
30:27
Speaker 1: like Grandpa Seth in the mirror. And then josh was like, see,
30:29
Speaker 1: I'm not crazy, MoMA dad, and they're just like you're crazy,
30:33
Speaker 1: and you're crazy. You guys are stupid, dude. It's like,
30:36
Speaker 1: what is going on? And then the dad like goes
30:39
Speaker 1: in the mirror and he's like looking and he's like,
30:41
Speaker 1: Grandpa Seth's not here, and then he's like, are you
30:43
Speaker 1: still smoking dope? Polly? So we just get that drop
30:46
Speaker 1: of lore where it's like, is Holly hooked on dope? Like?
30:49
Speaker 1: What when did that happen? We hear nothing about it
30:52
Speaker 1: though after that, so we're just gonna assume she's got
30:54
Speaker 1: a bit of a drug problem or did in the past.
30:56
Speaker 1: I guess she's like been in rehab since she turned
30:59
Speaker 1: fourteen or some I have no idea. We don't know,
31:01
Speaker 1: and that's the beautiful mystery of troll two. Okay, so
31:04
Speaker 1: everybody leaves and Joshua stays because Hally's like, I ain't
31:07
Speaker 1: staying in this room. There's are just a ghost in
31:08
Speaker 1: this room, probably the only one with common sense in
31:10
Speaker 1: this movie half the time. But Joshua stays, looks in
31:13
Speaker 1: the mirror, and then Grandpa Seth's like, oh, josh it's you.
31:16
Speaker 1: And he's like, yeah, you had the wrong room. You
31:18
Speaker 1: an idiot. What are you doing? You're supernatural, don't you
31:22
Speaker 1: have control of this? But then Seth goes on to
31:25
Speaker 1: just tell him, like, you need to get your family
31:26
Speaker 1: out of Nilbog. It's a goblin kingdom. Duh, duh. We
31:32
Speaker 1: knew that. And the kid's like, okay, man, I'm trying,
31:35
Speaker 1: but they're stupid as fuck. And meanwhile, no one in
31:39
Speaker 1: this movie has eaten anything. Everybody has just been fasting
31:42
Speaker 1: for two days. And Holly even comes down the next
31:45
Speaker 1: morning and is like, I've been fasting for two days
31:47
Speaker 1: and everyone's like, yeah, we have too, and it's like
31:50
Speaker 1: what is happening? Because the next morning it cuts to
31:52
Speaker 1: the r V now and one of the guys wakes up,
31:55
Speaker 1: we'll call him Dumbass Number three, wakes up, looks in
31:58
Speaker 1: the fridge and there's just milk in the fridge, nilbog milk,
32:01
Speaker 1: which they never stopped for and should be concerning that
32:05
Speaker 1: someone snuck in and put milk in their fridge. But
32:07
Speaker 1: then he closes it asks the guys like, hey, do
32:09
Speaker 1: we not have food? And they're like no, it didn't
32:11
Speaker 1: get any because everybody's just like fine with not eating
32:13
Speaker 1: like that one bitch in high school is like full
32:15
Speaker 1: off half a pretzel. You know. That's kind of how
32:17
Speaker 1: everybody is in this movie for some reason. But at
32:19
Speaker 1: least now he's like, I'm gonna go get some food. Okay,
32:21
Speaker 1: so I'm gonna go. And then he goes out of
32:23
Speaker 1: the RV and just full tilt sprints into town, which
32:26
Speaker 1: is crazy. I don't get why everyone in this movie
32:28
Speaker 1: likes Cardio. Doesn't make sense to me. Okay, it's probably
32:31
Speaker 1: the most unbelievable thing about this movie. And then we
32:33
Speaker 1: cut to the family who comes downstairs and is like,
32:36
Speaker 1: where's breakfast to the wife because you know wife things,
32:39
Speaker 1: and she's like, there's no food. All there is is
32:41
Speaker 1: this nilbog milk in the fridge, and they're like, okay, well,
32:45
Speaker 1: I guess we got to go into town. So Joshua
32:47
Speaker 1: and the mister waits go into town to get some
32:51
Speaker 1: food as well, and then cuts back to Sprince McGee
32:54
Speaker 1: dumb ass number three, who's like full tilt sprinting down
32:57
Speaker 1: the road with sweat all over him. And then local
33:00
Speaker 1: spuspicious sole cop of the town pulls up, asking if
33:04
Speaker 1: he needs a ride, and the dumb ass number three's
33:06
Speaker 1: like yeah, okay, no questions, and then he hops in
33:11
Speaker 1: the car. And then the cops immediately like are you hungry,
33:14
Speaker 1: and he's just like okay, and he gives him a
33:17
Speaker 1: green sandwich and then he just starts munching it down,
33:20
Speaker 1: no questions again, and then he pulls up to the
33:23
Speaker 1: general store where quite literally twenty six dudes are all
33:27
Speaker 1: shouldered or shoulder just mad dogs staring him down. But
33:31
Speaker 1: still walks into the general store. And then he goes
33:33
Speaker 1: into the general store and then we meet psychiatric patient,
33:36
Speaker 1: real life psychiatric patient general store manager who comes out like, hey,
33:42
Speaker 1: are you looking for something to eat? And then dumbass
33:47
Speaker 1: number three's like, yeah, do you have bacon? Do you
33:49
Speaker 1: have coffee? Do you have this? And he's like no,
33:50
Speaker 1: that's disgusting. Ew no, that's the that's the devil's water.
33:54
Speaker 1: Oh no, that doesn't this. But you know what we
33:57
Speaker 1: do have. We have milk. We have illabag milk. It
34:01
Speaker 1: has a lot of vitamins. That's literally what he says
34:04
Speaker 1: in the movie, played the club special milk high on
34:07
Speaker 1: vitamin content. So this is the same milk that was
34:10
Speaker 1: already in the fridge mysteriously in the RV. And he
34:14
Speaker 1: still buys that milk even though he didn't want that
34:16
Speaker 1: milk and already had that milk. So that doesn't make sense,
34:19
Speaker 1: But we don't ask questions about the movie. We just
34:20
Speaker 1: keep moving on. Then he goes outside and the twenty
34:23
Speaker 1: six men out there come up to him and they're like, hey,
34:25
Speaker 1: your friend came up to us and told us to
34:27
Speaker 1: tell you that he's in a really creepy house in
34:29
Speaker 1: the middle of the forest and that you need to
34:31
Speaker 1: go there and meet him. And he's just like okay.
34:34
Speaker 1: He goes to the house, and that's when we hard
34:37
Speaker 1: cut to the creepy millennial house once again, where Credence
34:41
Speaker 1: is given her all like she always does, monologue and
34:44
Speaker 1: hard to someone we don't see in the camera just yet,
34:47
Speaker 1: and then it's revealed when she's done said monologue about
34:50
Speaker 1: twenty eight seconds later morning, my little flour that it's
34:57
Speaker 1: Arnold who was now turned into half a plant in
35:01
Speaker 1: his face is like kind of missing. I kind of
35:02
Speaker 1: love the makeup, even though it's absolutely terrible, it's kind
35:05
Speaker 1: of awesome at the same time. Poor guy just wanted
35:07
Speaker 1: to chase down a terrified Nilbog tail and get lucky,
35:11
Speaker 1: but now he's a plant, So I guess that's kind
35:13
Speaker 1: of poetic karma if he asked me. Then we cut
35:15
Speaker 1: to mister Waite's reading a vegetarian recipe book because I'm
35:20
Speaker 1: assuming those are the only books that they sell in Nilbog,
35:22
Speaker 1: because they're all vegetarians. Assuming he's just being converted in
35:26
Speaker 1: some way at this point, and I think the vegan
35:28
Speaker 1: teacher would like Nilbog. I think she should move there personally.
35:32
Speaker 1: And Joshua was just kind of hanging out, and that's
35:33
Speaker 1: when he walks up to a car's rear view mirror,
35:36
Speaker 1: just to try to conjure up, you know, his dead grandpa,
35:39
Speaker 1: like you do. But instead he sees the truth. And
35:43
Speaker 1: in the rear view mirror, he sees the sign of
35:46
Speaker 1: nil Bog behind him and sees that in reverse. Nil
35:50
Speaker 1: Bog says Goblin, God go because Nilbog spell backwards as
35:58
Speaker 1: goblins backwards. This is their kingdom. That's my favorite. This
36:03
Speaker 1: is their kingdom. I love that this is their kingdom.
36:06
Speaker 1: I laughed out loud so hard when I saw that.
36:11
Speaker 1: It was fantastic. Just in case you can't read or
36:14
Speaker 1: you didn't put that mystery together by the beginning of
36:17
Speaker 1: the movie, Joshua points it out to you, and I
36:20
Speaker 1: appreciate that. And then after that he just leaves. He
36:24
Speaker 1: leaves his dad sleeping in public. He's just taking a
36:27
Speaker 1: nap in public and just jets off on his skateboard
36:30
Speaker 1: and does his own like kick ass stunt skateboard move
36:33
Speaker 1: on the way out, just to make sure that you
36:35
Speaker 1: know that he didn't come to Nilbogged look around. Then
36:46
Speaker 1: we cut to dumbass number three walking through the forest
36:49
Speaker 1: to the creepy house who the creepy people told him
36:52
Speaker 1: to go to creepily while drinking milk when he's tired
36:57
Speaker 1: and hot, like you do, and then he realizes it's
37:00
Speaker 1: chunky and disgusting, so he spits it out and it
37:02
Speaker 1: just reminds me so much of Anchorman when he says
37:05
Speaker 1: milk was a bad choice. And then we hard cut
37:08
Speaker 1: back to Credence showing up at the Waits house in
37:11
Speaker 1: Millbog fully breaking and entering, but Missus Waits doesn't give
37:16
Speaker 1: a feak because, you know, country hospitality, and she just
37:20
Speaker 1: didn't get she didn't care about anything. I hope to
37:22
Speaker 1: be one day the level of not caring as much
37:25
Speaker 1: as Missus Waits is in this movie. And also, Credence
37:28
Speaker 1: has a green cake that says welcome on it, so
37:32
Speaker 1: breaking in is fine. Wait, welcome spelt backwards is emo. Clue,
37:37
Speaker 1: that doesn't mean anything else. That's not in the movie.
37:40
Speaker 1: I just made that up. That was a bad joke.
37:41
Speaker 1: And the daughter kind of pops her head and Holly
37:43
Speaker 1: pops her head in and she's just like hey, and
37:45
Speaker 1: then Creeden says like the weirdest things to the daughter,
37:49
Speaker 1: saying she's like provocatively delicious, and the mom's like what
37:55
Speaker 1: but okay, appetizing provocative. But the mom was just like, oh,
38:00
Speaker 1: you shouldn't have made a cake, and Credence is like, ah,
38:03
Speaker 1: it was no problem at all. And then we just
38:05
Speaker 1: cut to Joshua, you know, cruising through the streets of Nilbog,
38:09
Speaker 1: not really knowing where he's going or what he's doing.
38:11
Speaker 1: But then he just randomly stops in front of this
38:14
Speaker 1: incredibly creepy open barn and has just no survival skills
38:18
Speaker 1: and just walks right in there, and in there he
38:21
Speaker 1: climbs up to the top roof to spy on the
38:23
Speaker 1: people below, because all of the townspeople are now in
38:27
Speaker 1: this barn doing like a weird sermon thing, and this
38:31
Speaker 1: I'm assuming the mayor of the town is like giving
38:34
Speaker 1: the sermon about how meat is bad basically and like gross,
38:39
Speaker 1: and he's like, my flesh, I mean, all that's thinking
38:43
Speaker 1: with disgusting meat, and all the townspeople that are sitting
38:46
Speaker 1: in chairs are like ew, and he's like hot dogs
38:49
Speaker 1: and they're like plea ew. It's it's like a child
38:54
Speaker 1: who hates me wrote this movie trying to convince his
38:56
Speaker 1: mom that it's yucky. I it's like okay. And also,
39:01
Speaker 1: the family that was supposed to go to the big
39:03
Speaker 1: city house is still in Nilbog and they're at this
39:06
Speaker 1: like town church weird meat meeting thing. So the kid's like, WHOA,
39:11
Speaker 1: that's weird. And you like see the little you know,
39:13
Speaker 1: peaky blinders kid and you're like, whoa, that's probably why
39:16
Speaker 1: they put that hat on them so we would recognize
39:18
Speaker 1: him in this part of the movie, which I appreciate.
39:20
Speaker 1: And they all talk about not being human, just in
39:23
Speaker 1: case you didn't know that their goblins in disguise. We
39:26
Speaker 1: know that we're certain now, which is nice. And then
39:30
Speaker 1: Joshua on the roof accidentally moves a skateboard and it
39:33
Speaker 1: crashes into the floor below, so they all like look
39:36
Speaker 1: up and you're like, oh no, and then a hand
39:38
Speaker 1: just comes up and Gorilla grips Joshua's poor little head,
39:43
Speaker 1: and then we just cut out of it, and you're like,
39:45
Speaker 1: oh my god. And then we go to Holly just
39:49
Speaker 1: slamming on the RV door. This is probably the quickest
39:52
Speaker 1: scenes in the movie. She's just slamming on the RV door.
39:55
Speaker 1: They haven't seen each other yet, her or her boyfriend Elliott,
39:58
Speaker 1: and then he comes out and she's like, che me
40:00
Speaker 1: or your friends and he's like what, and then she
40:03
Speaker 1: just punches him in the gut and then we cut out.
40:07
Speaker 1: It's how I wish that Grace's Anatomy scene actually went
40:10
Speaker 1: pick me, choose me, love me. Also, throughout this video,
40:14
Speaker 1: I apologize I keep calling it trolls too. It's troll too.
40:18
Speaker 1: Just want to apologize for that. Jay called me out
40:20
Speaker 1: and then I feel very bad. It's trull too. Anyway,
40:24
Speaker 1: let's get back to it. And then we cut back
40:26
Speaker 1: to Joshua being force fed ice cream by the goblins
40:30
Speaker 1: in this creepy farm thing. But then the dad just
40:34
Speaker 1: miraculously shows up from his public nap just in time
40:37
Speaker 1: and runs into the creepy barn to be like, what
40:39
Speaker 1: do you doing to my son? What are you doing
40:41
Speaker 1: to my son? And they just say, we're just trying
40:44
Speaker 1: to force feed him ice cream. It's not a big deal.
40:47
Speaker 1: It's like, we're strangers in a creepy barn and we're
40:50
Speaker 1: trying to force feed your kids stuff like poison ice cream.
40:52
Speaker 1: But like you need to calm down, okay. And then
40:54
Speaker 1: Joshua breaks free and runs over to his dad and
40:57
Speaker 1: he's just like just laying it down for his dad,
41:00
Speaker 1: just because his dad doesn't really get anything, you know,
41:02
Speaker 1: the parents in this don't understand anything that's going on.
41:05
Speaker 1: And he's like, Dad, they're goblins. And also they have
41:08
Speaker 1: a four leaf clover on all their cheeks, which I
41:11
Speaker 1: didn't notice until he pointed that out. And then I'm like,
41:15
Speaker 1: is this movie called Troll two and their goblins, but
41:18
Speaker 1: he's insinuating that they're leprechaunts. They keep me on edge
41:22
Speaker 1: in this movie. I have no idea what the fuck
41:24
Speaker 1: is going on. But I'm buckled up right, I don't
41:27
Speaker 1: know what's going on. And then he also tells his
41:29
Speaker 1: father that Nilbog spelt backwards a goblin, just in case
41:32
Speaker 1: he didn't hear him screaming it in front of him
41:34
Speaker 1: while he was taking his public nap. And then you'd
41:36
Speaker 1: think that'd be enough to convince his father to get
41:38
Speaker 1: the hell out of Dodge, but the dad's just like, dats,
41:41
Speaker 1: it's not that big of a deal. And then he's
41:43
Speaker 1: also like, hey, weren't you the family that's supposed to
41:45
Speaker 1: be in the big city. And then they were just
41:47
Speaker 1: like we had car trouble, and he's like okay, and
41:51
Speaker 1: then they just head back to the house, back to
41:53
Speaker 1: the house in Nilbog because no big deal. And then
41:55
Speaker 1: as they're running out to go back to the house,
41:58
Speaker 1: the group of people in the barn just straight up
42:00
Speaker 1: mad dogs stare him down again, and then the leader
42:04
Speaker 1: mayor guy says, we need time for some things to happen.
42:08
Speaker 1: We need time for some things to happen. That's what
42:11
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say the next time somebody asked me to
42:13
Speaker 1: do something or to go out, and I'm just like, ah,
42:16
Speaker 1: let me check. No, I need time for some things
42:18
Speaker 1: to happen. I can. You need to have patience until tonight. Okay.
42:22
Speaker 1: The dialogue is Janius and I think about how this
42:26
Speaker 1: could have actually been written by a human being, and
42:28
Speaker 1: then I remember Italians who don't know English made this
42:32
Speaker 1: with people who don't know Italian, and then I'm back
42:35
Speaker 1: on board. I'm like, yeah, that this makes sense. We
42:37
Speaker 1: need time for some things to happen. And then we
42:39
Speaker 1: cut to the dad and Josh driving back to the
42:42
Speaker 1: house and then they see Elliott and Holly in the
42:45
Speaker 1: RV and the dad's pissed because he's like, what's this
42:47
Speaker 1: guy doing here? So he pulls over. He confronts Elliott
42:50
Speaker 1: and he's just like, get come back to the house
42:53
Speaker 1: for reasons that I don't know. I don't understand. And
42:57
Speaker 1: now that means Elliott's last friend standing so far, I
43:01
Speaker 1: guess is left with the RV and he's like, what
43:03
Speaker 1: am I supposed to do? And he's just like, figure
43:05
Speaker 1: it out. I got to go back to the house
43:07
Speaker 1: to get reamed out by this dad, which never happens,
43:10
Speaker 1: by the way, but I got to go back to
43:11
Speaker 1: this house and he's like okay, and we cut back
43:14
Speaker 1: to Dumbass number three get into the creepy house and
43:17
Speaker 1: finding Arnold now half plant, halfman, and Arnold is like,
43:22
Speaker 1: grab the pot and drag me out of this place.
43:24
Speaker 1: Dumbass number three is trying to like drag him out
43:26
Speaker 1: of the house, and it's really funny because he's like
43:28
Speaker 1: he's obviously actually dragging him and it's really heavy, and
43:31
Speaker 1: it's like such an awkward moment where it's like silent.
43:38
Speaker 1: But then of course Credence shows up and literally slaps
43:42
Speaker 1: Dumbass number three across the room onto her spuspiciously sexy bed,
43:48
Speaker 1: I guess, and then she brings out a chainsaw to
43:54
Speaker 1: cut pieces off of Arnold to make a green slushy
43:59
Speaker 1: thing for dum number three, which I okay, yeah, yeah,
44:03
Speaker 1: of course, of course. And then Dad, Hawley and Joshua
44:06
Speaker 1: arrive at their nil bog house to find out that
44:09
Speaker 1: they'll hole down somehow beat them there, even though they
44:13
Speaker 1: had an insane head start, and they're just partying with
44:17
Speaker 1: the mom who's just like getting down with the townspeople
44:20
Speaker 1: and they all like brought a bunch of food, and
44:22
Speaker 1: then the dad comes in, like what's going on here,
44:25
Speaker 1: and he's like, ah, we just wanted to apologize for
44:27
Speaker 1: like force feeding your kid poison ice cream in a
44:30
Speaker 1: creepy bar, and so we brought you guys some leftovers,
44:33
Speaker 1: and we thought we'd just party with you guys. And
44:35
Speaker 1: the dad's like, okay. Joshua not having it. Okay. He's like,
44:40
Speaker 1: they're goblins. This is crazy, And the dad's like, go
44:42
Speaker 1: to your room, you little psycho kid. So Joshua goes
44:46
Speaker 1: to his room and he tries to summon his grandpa
44:48
Speaker 1: in the mirror, you know, like you do. Then a
44:51
Speaker 1: goblin just jumps out of the mirror and starts attacking Joshua,
44:56
Speaker 1: and the poor guy's fighting for his life, and then
44:58
Speaker 1: it cuts back to the family downstairs, like the and
45:01
Speaker 1: the all the townspeople are like egging them on to
45:04
Speaker 1: eat the food, but they're like never quite eating the food,
45:07
Speaker 1: and then it cuts back to Joshua fighting for his life,
45:09
Speaker 1: and then back to the family like almost eating food
45:12
Speaker 1: but not quite eating food, and then it cuts back
45:15
Speaker 1: to Joshua again, and then gangster Grandpa Seth shows up
45:19
Speaker 1: with an axe and cuts off the goblin's hand, which
45:23
Speaker 1: then in parallel cuts off Credence's hand back at the
45:27
Speaker 1: creepy house, which is awesome, which means that it was
45:30
Speaker 1: her all along. Eh, we had no idea she was evil.
45:34
Speaker 1: She just like looks and sounds and is evil. But
45:37
Speaker 1: what that's crazy, dude. Cut back to straight up gangster Grandpa,
45:41
Speaker 1: who's like, we need to put out the fire Joshua,
45:44
Speaker 1: and Joshua's like, what fire? What are you talking about?
45:47
Speaker 1: And then gangster Gramps just whips out a homemade bomb
45:51
Speaker 1: and says, guess he's about to like just light this
45:56
Speaker 1: whole house on fire. I guess that's going on. Oh
46:01
Speaker 1: my god. But I didn't realize ghosts could make bombs
46:03
Speaker 1: and cut off people's limbs, So I'm gonna tread carefully
46:06
Speaker 1: on my next ghost hunt. Basically, I've learned that from
46:08
Speaker 1: this movie for sure. But then Credence puts her arm
46:11
Speaker 1: into that magic glory hole in the back of her
46:13
Speaker 1: house and an arm grows back, so I guess that's
46:17
Speaker 1: like magic or something, which is kind of cool. And
46:19
Speaker 1: then Gangster Grandpa and Joss just try to light the
46:22
Speaker 1: house on fire. But then the creepy mayor goblin guy
46:25
Speaker 1: grabs the homemade ghost bomb from the grandpa's hands or
46:28
Speaker 1: the kid's hands, and then he tries to send gangster
46:32
Speaker 1: Grandpa back to Hell? Was he in hell before this is? See?
46:36
Speaker 1: This is again another Lord drop that we never understand,
46:39
Speaker 1: but it would make sense based on the axe murdering
46:41
Speaker 1: and arsony that Gangster Grandpa would have maybe come from
46:45
Speaker 1: hell because you know, he's just he's straight up g dude,
46:48
Speaker 1: but he's sweet otherwise, you know. So I don't know,
46:50
Speaker 1: I can be, I could. We don't need to we
46:52
Speaker 1: don't need to know. Okay, it's a perfect movie. I
46:54
Speaker 1: don't need to know. Okay, I'll let my imagination do
46:56
Speaker 1: its thing. But then gangster Grandpa, being the straight up
46:59
Speaker 1: g he is oh no, reversus shit, and lightning bolts
47:03
Speaker 1: goblin Mayor and turns him into a burnt up goblin,
47:06
Speaker 1: And then all the townspeople and the family come out
47:09
Speaker 1: from the house and the jig is up. They see
47:11
Speaker 1: the goblin on the ground. The dad's like, what is this?
47:14
Speaker 1: My son's not crazy, and then the sheriff who's outside
47:17
Speaker 1: with them, who's also a goblin, is like, we're gonna
47:21
Speaker 1: kill you. And then the family does this after they
47:24
Speaker 1: get threatened, their lives getting threatened. Do they do this
47:41
Speaker 1: slowest walking you've ever seen. Just the survival skills of
47:44
Speaker 1: this family are numbed out. I don't think they have that.
47:47
Speaker 1: I don't think they have fight or flight. They just
47:49
Speaker 1: have freeze and flail. And then we cut to Credence,
47:54
Speaker 1: who just turns herself into Hot Chick number three through
47:58
Speaker 1: the magic glory hole in the wall to go seduce
48:01
Speaker 1: dumb ass number four back at the RV for reasons
48:05
Speaker 1: I guess. But first we go back to the house
48:08
Speaker 1: at night and the family is just watching the outside
48:11
Speaker 1: as all the townspeople and the sheriff are like, here
48:14
Speaker 1: are some sandwiches for tonight. Just eat them so we
48:17
Speaker 1: can eat you. Otherwise we'll be forced to kill you violently,
48:22
Speaker 1: as if them eating poison and slowly turning into goop
48:25
Speaker 1: green plant goblin food isn't violent, But what do I know?
48:29
Speaker 1: You know? But I choose violence for sure. And then
48:32
Speaker 1: we cut back to dumbass number four who sees Hot
48:35
Speaker 1: Credence on the TV and then he sees her outside
48:37
Speaker 1: the RV. So he goes out and just does but
48:39
Speaker 1: again doesn't question anything. Nobody questions anything in this movie. Okay,
48:42
Speaker 1: they just go with the flow. They'll go with the
48:43
Speaker 1: flow type people. And then he's like, come on in,
48:46
Speaker 1: you're hot, you know. And she just has a piece
48:49
Speaker 1: of corn the whole time. And then they start to
48:50
Speaker 1: kind of get freaky with it, putting it in between
48:52
Speaker 1: their mouths because she like wants them to eat it
48:55
Speaker 1: really bad. So they're like, oh, like make it out
48:58
Speaker 1: between the corn. He eats it because you know, she's hot.
49:03
Speaker 1: And then we just cut out of there, and then
49:05
Speaker 1: we go back to the Waites family holding a seance
49:09
Speaker 1: out of nowhere with one hundred and fifty lit loose candles,
49:13
Speaker 1: trying to get Gangster Grandpa back to help them or whatever.
49:16
Speaker 1: I think the prop guy in this project was trying
49:19
Speaker 1: to sabotage this movie by burning down the set, which
49:22
Speaker 1: I don't blame him at the time, but I'm glad
49:24
Speaker 1: it didn't. It didn't work, but they end up conjuring
49:27
Speaker 1: this bright light that is Gangster Grandpa Seth and just
49:31
Speaker 1: he just tells Joshua to concentrate, doesn't say concentrate on what,
49:35
Speaker 1: but he just says concentrating. Joshua seems to know what happens,
49:38
Speaker 1: and then he kind of passes out and the mom
49:40
Speaker 1: freaks out, and that's when all the goblins start breaking
49:42
Speaker 1: into the house and start wreaking havoc, and then that's
49:45
Speaker 1: when the fight scenes start to happen, and they're definitely
49:49
Speaker 1: not funny at all, definitely not comical, and definitely the
49:54
Speaker 1: super badass. And then somehow during all of this, Joshua
49:59
Speaker 1: teleport to the creepy forest house during the fight scenes,
50:03
Speaker 1: and it starts to just get strangled by a loose goblin,
50:06
Speaker 1: I guess. But then of course gangster Grandpa sets swoops
50:10
Speaker 1: in and one punch kills this goblin and he always
50:13
Speaker 1: does this like smile after he smites a goblin. He's
50:16
Speaker 1: like it's awesome. And then he just ominously gives Joshua
50:23
Speaker 1: a backpack and tells him like, open this when you
50:26
Speaker 1: think you need it, and josh was like what, and
50:29
Speaker 1: he's like, just do what I say and he's like okay,
50:32
Speaker 1: and then he tells Joshua to just touch the creepy
50:35
Speaker 1: glory whole wall for reasons we don't know, and he
50:39
Speaker 1: does and then it cuts back to the family that's
50:41
Speaker 1: now surrounded by like twenty two foot tall goblin things
50:47
Speaker 1: that I could definitely take, I feel like, but luckily
50:51
Speaker 1: they say, our queen is calling us, and then they
50:53
Speaker 1: just disappear out of nowhere. Really good effects, by the way,
50:58
Speaker 1: roll the clip, and then we cut back to Joshua
51:02
Speaker 1: and gangster Grandpa holding the wall thing and he's like, okay,
51:06
Speaker 1: bye forever, Joshua, good luck, and then he just disappears
51:10
Speaker 1: and we never see him again, and Joshua's like, wait
51:12
Speaker 1: what And then he Joshua gets picked up stranglehold, picked
51:16
Speaker 1: up by Credence, and then he's he's force fed again,
51:19
Speaker 1: or tried to be force fed green gloopy glop stuff.
51:24
Speaker 1: But then of course he remembers one in thirty one
51:28
Speaker 1: minute and thirty two seconds ago, his grandpa told him
51:30
Speaker 1: that this backpack he was given was for a reason,
51:33
Speaker 1: and he looks in the backpack and he takes out
51:36
Speaker 1: a quote double decker baloney sandwich, the double decker bloony sandwich,
51:42
Speaker 1: and then the goblins and Credence just grimace and she
51:46
Speaker 1: says the weirdest things. She's just like, don't do it.
51:51
Speaker 1: Think of the facts in your blood, think about the cholesterol,
51:56
Speaker 1: a think about the toxins. Just sounds like a like
52:00
Speaker 1: a middle aged couple, like a wife telling her husband
52:02
Speaker 1: that like his blood panel came back with too high
52:05
Speaker 1: of cholesterol and that he can't eat he can't eat
52:07
Speaker 1: the steak because of that. It's just like it's like, wait,
52:10
Speaker 1: what is that? What's going on? Or are they just
52:12
Speaker 1: really health conscious? I think that's what it is. Goblins
52:14
Speaker 1: are just like overly health conscious. They're basically the beacon
52:17
Speaker 1: teacher sounds like. But Joshua, like a straight up ge
52:23
Speaker 1: like his grandpa before him, munches on the sandwich and
52:27
Speaker 1: everybody's just like, ah, like it hurts them somehow that
52:31
Speaker 1: he's eating meat or something. And then he throws it
52:34
Speaker 1: at them and then he goes over to the wall,
52:35
Speaker 1: like just eating this sandwich aggressively. And then somehow, somehow,
52:46
Speaker 1: and we don't ask questions on this channel, the family
52:48
Speaker 1: shows up at the house, this creepy house that they
52:52
Speaker 1: didn't know existed about like just miles away, in about
52:56
Speaker 1: a two minute time period, and then Josh's it's like, yeah, guys,
53:01
Speaker 1: come over here, put your hands on the wall and
53:04
Speaker 1: concentrate again. We don't know on what. We will never
53:08
Speaker 1: know what they had to concentrate on to make all
53:11
Speaker 1: the goblins and credens die, but they did the thing,
53:15
Speaker 1: and it is what it is. And then they're touching
53:18
Speaker 1: the wall and then the goblins and credents are like
53:20
Speaker 1: burning and melting and everyone dies, and then we just
53:24
Speaker 1: cut to them driving home. We just cut to them
53:26
Speaker 1: driving home. And then the other family members don't go
53:29
Speaker 1: in the house, but the mom and Joshua do, and
53:32
Speaker 1: then the mom goes to the fridge and just pulls
53:34
Speaker 1: out a fresh bowl of apples that seems suspicious to me,
53:38
Speaker 1: but she just starts eating them and being like, just
53:40
Speaker 1: eat an apple. And Joshua, you know, in his right mind,
53:44
Speaker 1: he just went through a little bit of trauma, you know,
53:46
Speaker 1: just killed the whole goblin kingdom, village or whatever, and
53:50
Speaker 1: a witch or something is like, I'm not that hungry.
53:53
Speaker 1: So he goes upstairs. But then as soon as he
53:55
Speaker 1: gets upstairs, he here's whispering, and the whispering is telling
53:58
Speaker 1: him to eat up, eat up. But he's like, what
54:00
Speaker 1: was that coming from. So he walks downstairs and he's
54:03
Speaker 1: listening and he can't hear the voice anymore, but he
54:05
Speaker 1: hears a baseball come down the stairs and then he
54:09
Speaker 1: picks it up and on it it reads in green letters, yummy,
54:14
Speaker 1: Mommy is so good. And then josh just yells, and
54:19
Speaker 1: then he just starts running around the house and he
54:20
Speaker 1: goes into the bathroom for some reason, and for some reason,
54:23
Speaker 1: there's a bunch of green sludge in the bathroom, like
54:26
Speaker 1: in the bath but the mom was never in there
54:28
Speaker 1: and no one was ever in there, so I don't know,
54:30
Speaker 1: but we don't ask questions here, okay. And then he
54:32
Speaker 1: runs into the kitchen where his mom was, and then
54:34
Speaker 1: you just see the goblins just gobbling his mom down,
54:39
Speaker 1: and they have like this prosthetic dude woman on there,
54:42
Speaker 1: but it's fake, but they're just like eating green pudding
54:46
Speaker 1: off of her basically, And a lot of the goblin's
54:48
Speaker 1: masks are just masks that don't move, so they're just
54:51
Speaker 1: like shoving green putting into their mouth holes, and it's
54:55
Speaker 1: it's awesome, Okay, it's terrifying. It's the scariest thing I've
54:58
Speaker 1: ever seen. And then one of the goblins look up
55:02
Speaker 1: and says to Joshua, do you want some Joshua and
55:07
Speaker 1: Joshua goes and then the movie ends. But what a
55:14
Speaker 1: great twist. M Night Shamalama ding Dong. Who you know.
55:17
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, troll two best movie there is. That's it. Basically,
55:22
Speaker 1: go watch it. I know you just heard everything about it,
55:25
Speaker 1: but you still need to go watch it and watch
55:27
Speaker 1: it with someone. Okay, make it a drinking game. And
55:30
Speaker 1: if you're younger than the drinking age, I don't know.
55:33
Speaker 1: What do kids do make homemade bombs with their ghost
55:35
Speaker 1: dead grandpa? I don't know, but that's it. If you
55:39
Speaker 1: like this kind of video, let me know. This was
55:40
Speaker 1: really fun for me. I really enjoy doing this review.
55:44
Speaker 1: Let me know if you guys want any more of these.
55:46
Speaker 1: Let me know what other like movies or shows you
55:48
Speaker 1: want me to review. More worse the better. If you
55:50
Speaker 1: like this video, please like this video. This is obviously
55:53
Speaker 1: best channel ever And until next time I will see
55:56
Speaker 1: your beautiful face. Okay, bye,