Latest / Women at Work: Career, Leadership & Modern Work / How Women Get Boxed Into Office Housework
Transcript
- Lucas: Luna, I want to talk about something that shows up in almost every organization but is rarely on a job description: office housework. Luna: You mean the stuff that has to get done but nobody gets promoted for doing it — taking notes, ordering lunch, planning the team offsite? Lucas: Exactly. And the research is pretty stark: women are disproportionately assigned these tasks. A 2018 study from Harvard Business Review found that women were 48 percent more likely than men to volunteer for non-promotable tasks, and they were also more likely to be asked. Luna: Forty-eight percent — that's massive. And it's not just about being asked, it's about the social cost of saying no. Lucas: Right. And if today's episode is useful to you — if it helps you rethink a dynamic you've noticed in your own team — I want to mention how we keep these conversations ad-free. It's listener support through buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. Just a way for people who find value here to keep it going. Luna: Yeah, it's really simple and it makes a difference. So back to office housework — what's the actual career cost? Lucas: The cost is opportunity. Every hour spent formatting a slide deck or taking minutes is an hour not spent on a high-visibility project, or building a relationship with a senior leader. Over time, that gap compounds. Luna: And there's a gendered pattern to who gets asked. I've seen it in my own teams — when a meeting needs a note-taker, the manager's eyes almost always land on the most junior woman in the room. Lucas: It's a reflex. And it's not malicious. But it's a pattern that, if uncorrected, reinforces a hierarchy where women do the housework and men do the headline work. Luna: So how do you break the reflex? If you're a manager, what do you do differently? Lucas: First, you make the invisible visible. Start by tracking who is doing what in meetings. For one week, just observe: who sets up the Zoom, who takes notes, who follows up on action items. Then rotate those tasks explicitly. Luna: Rotation is key. I had a boss who would say at the start of every meeting, 'Who's taking notes today? Let's rotate — John, you had it last time, so Sarah, would you take it?' That simple act broke the default. Lucas: That's a great example. The second thing is to reframe how you assign work. Instead of asking for a volunteer, which tends to pull in the same people, assign it. And assign it to someone who doesn't normally do it. Luna: What about from the individual side? If you're a woman who keeps getting asked to do the office housework, how do you push back without seeming difficult? Lucas: One strategy is to say yes, but with a condition. 'I can take notes, but I'll need to hand off the client deliverable to someone else so I can focus.' That makes the trade-off explicit. Luna: I like that — it names the opportunity cost. Another approach I've seen is to ask clarifying questions: 'Is this a strategic priority? Should I reprioritize my current project to make room for this?' Lucas: That's smart. It forces the person assigning the task to think about whether it's actually important. And often, they'll say, 'No, it's just a note-taking thing,' and you can say, 'Great, then maybe someone else can handle it while I focus on the quarterly analysis.' Luna: It's not about refusing to help. It's about making sure the help you give is recognized and doesn't come at the expense of your own growth. Lucas: Exactly. And there's a role for senior leaders here too. If you're a leader who wants to fix this, you need to model it. If you're a senior woman, you can explicitly decline to take notes and suggest a rotation. Luna: But that can be risky too — if a senior woman declines, she might be seen as not a team player. So it's important that men also step up. Lucas: Absolutely. The responsibility shouldn't fall only on women to fix this. Men in leadership need to notice the pattern and interrupt it. That's real allyship. Luna: Have you seen any organizations that have done this well? Any concrete examples? Lucas: There's a tech company that started a 'no note-taking for the same person twice' policy in their staff meetings. They literally track it in a shared doc. Within three months, the gender disparity in who took notes dropped by 70 percent. Luna: That's a simple structural fix. And it sends a message that this is a team responsibility, not a gendered one. Lucas: Right. And the same logic applies to other forms of office housework — event planning, onboarding new hires, even cleaning up the shared kitchen. All of it needs to be distributed. Luna: I think one reason women get stuck with these tasks is that they're seen as 'helpful' — and women are socialized to be helpful. So saying no feels like a violation of that norm. Lucas: That's the double bind. If you say yes, you're helpful but you lose time. If you say no, you're not a team player. The only way out is to change the system so that no one person is consistently the helper. Luna: And that starts with awareness. I think a lot of managers don't even realize they're doing it. They just ask the person who always takes notes. Lucas: So the first step is awareness. The second is intentional redistribution. And the third is making sure that when someone does take on a low-visibility task, it gets acknowledged — maybe in a performance review or a public shout-out. Luna: That's a good point. If we can't eliminate these tasks, we can at least make them visible and valued. Otherwise, they stay invisible and women's careers pay the price. Lucas: One other thing: sometimes office housework can be a gateway to higher-visibility work if it's framed right. For example, taking minutes for a high-level strategy meeting might give you exposure to senior decision-making. Luna: But only if you're not the only one doing it every time, and only if you get to speak in those meetings too. Otherwise, you're just the scribe. Lucas: Right. So the key is to rotate, and to ensure that the person taking notes also has a chance to contribute ideas. Don't let the note-taking role become a silencing role. Luna: Alright, so let's leave listeners with one concrete action. If you're a manager, what's the one thing you can do this week? Lucas: Pick one recurring meeting and vary who takes notes. Literally put a rotation schedule on the agenda. And if you're an individual contributor, the next time you're asked to do a low-visibility task, ask one question: 'What should I deprioritize to make room for this?' Luna: That's a small shift with big ripple effects. And I think it's a fair question to ask. Lucas: It's a fair question. And it's one that, over time, can help rebalance the invisible workload that's been holding too many women back.