Latest / All In with Allie / From Cancer Diagnosis to Esteemed Photographer and Best Selling Author: Alyssa Rosenheck
Transcript
- 0:10Right now, I am sitting with best selling author of the new Southern Esteemed
- 0:17interior and architectural photographer, by the way, who didn't even realize she was
- 0:24creative until thirty two. We're going to get into it. Whose talent has
- 0:29been showcasing over nine hundred magazines. In those features, from Forbes to People.
- 0:34You've overcome cancer. You have emerged as a creative thought leader and a
- 0:39pioneer in photography. You're a guiding light and mentor to aspiring entrepreneurs, just
- 0:45to name a couple of things. No big deal. Alyssa Rosenhek, Welcome
- 0:49to Allie with Ali. Thank you so much for being here. Well,
- 0:52I'm grateful to be here. I'm sitting across from you and just honored to
- 0:56be here. So thank you, thank you. So we met through July
- 1:00one, and I don't know a lot of creative women in Nashville, and
- 1:07I'm so grateful to Julie because she's introduced me to a few people. And
- 1:11you and I went to our birthday party and we got to sit next to
- 1:15each other and I got to know you a little bit, and we didn't
- 1:17get to talk much, but you know how you just you meet people where
- 1:22you're like, I like her, like the energy, the vibe, just
- 1:26you. You have a presence about you and an energy. And immediately I
- 1:34was like, I want to know, like, what, what's her story?
- 1:36You are so sweet. Normally I like lean on like the peaceful psychopaths,
- 1:40So hopefully are you one of those people that are like she's mysterious.
- 1:46No, no, no, it's it's a daily practice to show up.
- 1:49And first of all, just to honor Julie. She's such a light.
- 1:53She's so incredible. I know, I love her. She's a soul sister,
- 1:57and I'm just grateful that she brings such incredible women together. So yeah,
- 2:01she's such a connector and I really admire that about her. And I'm
- 2:07just so thankful that I got to meet you through that. And when we
- 2:09decided to do this, I of course wanted to learn more about you,
- 2:14and I did my research and you have one till of a story, which
- 2:19it's so interesting. And I've been reflecting a lot on this too, because
- 2:23we're all on our own journey, and on this journey there's going to be
- 2:28the ups and the downs, and the best stories are the ones that have
- 2:32like the craziest off and down up like uppies, right, but like also
- 2:38those womens are like, holy shit, are we gonna make it? Are
- 2:42you gonna be? Like? What's going to happen here? But when you're
- 2:46in that moment of the low, you're like, I don't want to do
- 2:52this anymore. I want to get off this ride. And you have one
- 2:55of those stories that there's a couple of moments where it's like, I'm sure
- 3:00when you were there, you were just like, what the freaking heck.
- 3:05So let's just start from the beginning, baget all the way up. So
- 3:12you were born and raised in Oklahoma, Tulsa, Oklahoma, Okay yep?
- 3:15And how long did you say in Oklahoma? I left when I was eighteen?
- 3:19Okay cool, yep. So born and raised. My life has reflected
- 3:23a lot of seasons, and I feel like we all have those stories.
- 3:28We all have those seasons, and it's up to us to survive those seasons
- 3:34and be resources for others. And I really don't dwell in the season,
- 3:38no, you know, yeah, and born and raised in Tulsa, Oklahoma.
- 3:43Left when I was eighteen, and a college athletic scholarship was my ticket
- 3:47out of Oklahoma tennis. Right tennis. Okay, you've done your due diligence,
- 3:53which I'm grateful for. I got a full ride. I wouldn't have
- 3:58gone to school otherwise because we didn't have the money. And from there on
- 4:02I was chasing fear and structure and stability, and most of my choices were
- 4:12being rooted from that place of lack and fear. And it took me until
- 4:17I was thirty two years old to realize it. My high level story is
- 4:23cliff notes version. I went from the corporate world to working with two fortune
- 4:30one hundred companies, to then having cancer and then becoming this creative entrepreneur.
- 4:34But I really in the thick of it, like right now, I really
- 4:41just like to lead with my humanity and my humanness void of the titles,
- 4:46because every day is a new day, you know. And I think my
- 4:50background, like yourself, was chaotic and shaky ground. We had fun,
- 5:00angel and security, emotional abuse, physical violence, substance abuse. You know.
- 5:05I was very well diversified for therapy at a young age. And my
- 5:12mom grew up. I grew up with my mom who's a single mother,
- 5:15and she was just doing the best she could with what she had and my
- 5:18father is an unrecovered alcoholic, and it just broke me open at such a
- 5:27young age, and I felt like I had to be an adult at such
- 5:30a young age. And I wouldn't recommend it for any you know, this
- 5:33is not something that you wish upon other people, but it made me very
- 5:38responsible to the point where I was losing out on a childhood and losing out
- 5:44on the things that you're supposed to be doing when you're twenty, and I
- 5:46was just wanting that stability. I craved it so much. I came up
- 5:51in a what sounds like, at a least high level, similar background as
- 5:56well, and you know, substance abuse abuse verbally, physically, same kind
- 6:00of vibe. Was your dad in the pic? I know you said your
- 6:04You know your mom was a single mom, and it sounds like she did
- 6:06an amazing job. You guys have a really good relationship, right, Was
- 6:11your dad in the picture or growing up? Yeah? They My mother filed
- 6:16for divorce, which took a tremendous amount of strength at the time in her
- 6:21life, and I commend her for that, and it I feel like set
- 6:27us on a totally different path. There was a lot of drinking I was
- 6:31never physically abused, but I saw nice fights. I saw banisters being taken
- 6:35out. I saw things of that nature that you can't like unsee. And
- 6:44within that, he was in and out of our lives for a little bit,
- 6:49a lot of empty promises, a lot of no shows. And then
- 6:54I made the choice when I was in college to put a healthy boundary up
- 7:02with him, and if he wanted to show up and be healthy, I
- 7:05would meet him where he is, and if he didn't, then he had
- 7:10no place and no privilege in my life. Wow, and how did that
- 7:14go? I mean, we're strange. Yeah. Yeah, And then sometimes
- 7:18he'll pop up. When the book, my book came out, he I
- 7:25think took got his hands on it two years after it was published, and
- 7:29that was interesting. So yeah, you actually I actually wrote down. I
- 7:33found the blog where you talked about that, and what you said gave me
- 7:39chills. It was so well said and reflected. Okay, I'm going to
- 7:42read it. As a child, the chaos silenced so much of my voice,
- 7:46but as an adult it is one of my most important tools to build
- 7:49strong bridges, deep connections, and communicate boundaries. My gentle roar as an
- 7:55adult is a form of self love. And then you were talking how you
- 8:00responded to your dad because I guess he had reached out to you after you
- 8:03read the book, right, and you said, I responded to my father
- 8:07with this. You cannot ruin what you did not build. I do not
- 8:11receive your threats, and I encourage you to get help. Fucking mic draw.
- 8:18Yeah that brings you back, Yeah, it does. It just reminds
- 8:22me again, I don't really dwell in these stories unless we're heaven. I
- 8:26know, these beautiful conversations that are needed because you know those who are listening.
- 8:33You're not alone. And I think the biggest thing is that our humanness
- 8:37is a testament to our resilience, and it's so important to be living in
- 8:43the visions that we have for our life and really make expansive choices that break
- 8:48old patterns and really come from that place. And I didn't recognize that,
- 8:56and maybe I needed to have these moments to to build a bigger, stronger,
- 9:01bolder, gent or roar within myself. And then I mean, it
- 9:07only facilitated really healthy, beautiful boundaries that my life now fully reflects. And
- 9:15it's a very different life than the one that I grew up in Well,
- 9:20that's one of the things that I actually wanted to ask you too, because
- 9:22this is something that I've reflected with a few people who have similar backgrounds to
- 9:26mine and my husband we talk about this, and you see people go,
- 9:33you know, just to like overgeneralize two paths. Who grew up in instability.
- 9:37I mean, people can go all different pastim how they race. But
- 9:39like, let's say people who are brought up in an unstable house and they
- 9:45either grow up to become the adult that they needed and the children, and
- 9:48I feel like, that's what you've done for yourself. That's what I've done
- 9:50for myself. A lot of inner child work, a lot of inner child
- 9:54work. They unpeat the same mistakes and they become part of that generational cycle.
- 9:58What do you say, why do some people go one way? Why
- 10:03do people go the other way? I honestly don't know. I think it's
- 10:05something within you. I mean what I had, the existing life and the
- 10:16people around me, and the choices I was making when I heard I had
- 10:20cancer, that's really when I made a very clear choice to clean out the
- 10:26clutter and really start living in alignment with the vision I had for my life.
- 10:33And up until that point, I had just been in survival mode,
- 10:39purely fear based, and it took something external that was happening within my body
- 10:46that I had no control over to really wake me up. And I know
- 10:52from certain studies with children growing up in under resource communities there's a ten percent
- 10:58resilience rate within them to get out of those those environments. I also know
- 11:03that growing up in the environment in which I did, there were I would
- 11:09never want anybody to go through it. However, it's maybe a really sensitive
- 11:13human being. I can pick up on some therapists maybe listening and it's like
- 11:18it's clearly a trauma or response, but I can I'm sensitive, I'm very
- 11:22discerning, I'm intuitive. I think it makes me an incredible creative. It
- 11:28makes me feel connected and present, and it makes me a really good leader.
- 11:35And because I'm able to live in those those chronic states of discomfort and
- 11:39whether through the storm rather than avoid it. Yeah. Yeah, and I've
- 11:43heard you talk about that too. Well there, I mean, we're going
- 11:48to get so much deeper into your story. But that's one of the things
- 11:50that everybody has the power to take their story and shift it into whatever story
- 12:00or victim story that they want to right, So like, yeah, you
- 12:03can come from a certain situation, but what are you going to do with
- 12:07that? And what are the gifts? So like what I used to do
- 12:09is I used to tell this story of like, oh, I grew up
- 12:11in this home and my mom was an alcoholic and oh, kind of from
- 12:15the Vible. Like for me, then it shifted to wait. That taught
- 12:20me to be on my game. That taught me to want to be better
- 12:24for myself, Like it gave me this edge and this I would say almost
- 12:31an advantage in a lot of cases because of what And I'm sure you can
- 12:35relate to You're so empathetic and you're able to read a room probably way more
- 12:39than the average person because of what you've been through, and that's an incredible
- 12:43skill to have. Thank you. There's also a little bit of a chip
- 12:46on my shoulder, for sure, And I feel like that continues to drive
- 12:50me of not to be anything other than the fullest version of myself and a
- 12:58kind version and an all this version. And sometimes that means me being direct,
- 13:01and sometimes that means having tough conversations and pivoting. And I'm a big
- 13:07believer that you can pivot as many times and reinvent yourself as many times as
- 13:13you need, as long as it's in service to yourself and those you love
- 13:16around you. And that's it. You know, show up for yourself and
- 13:20show up for your community. So this you have, this drive, you
- 13:24have, this grit? Was that? Was it the chip on your shoulder
- 13:26that when you got into the corporate world and you were just like, Okay,
- 13:31I'm not going to live. I know you say that you were driven
- 13:33by fear, but you're like, I'm not going to repeat these You know
- 13:37what I've experienced as a kid. I'm going to make something of myself.
- 13:41And you just hustled your face off. Well I saw what it went,
- 13:43what it did to my mother. My my parents are very different. So
- 13:48my father has this if you initially meet him, it's this like big gregarious
- 13:54personality right and just kind of sex you in. And then my mom is
- 13:58this warm and too of creative, lovely human and she stayed at home,
- 14:05but staying at home put out of financial disadvantage, and my father really tried
- 14:11to ruin her financially, which in turn really set us up for instability.
- 14:15So I knew I never wanted to put myself in that position or have to
- 14:18rely on anybody for my independence. And so that was my driving force.
- 14:24Not because I thought I could, you know, it was just I didn't
- 14:28want to be a burden. I didn't want to have to ask, and
- 14:33I wanted to make sure that I was going to be financially safe for my
- 14:39life. And so and I did driver. Yeah it was a productive driver,
- 14:45but and I wouldn't have taken aback. I mean, I had some
- 14:48of the most incredible experiences, and the knowledge I gained from working for two
- 14:56fortune one hundred blue chips dock companies was invaluable set me up to become where
- 15:01I am today. So you worked for the two massive companies and then you
- 15:07did medical device sales for a while. So I started out after college.
- 15:15I thought I wanted to be a doctor, and so I did a premad
- 15:16postback program and then I was like, nope, don't just kidding. It
- 15:22was just, honestly, it was another fear choice. I knew I really
- 15:26wanted to be a surgeon, but I didn't want to take on a quarter
- 15:30of a million dollars worth of debt, and so I needed to get a
- 15:33job and So I started out as a secretary working for a boutique developer,
- 15:37and I did that for a little less than a year and I was making
- 15:41like twenty eight thousand dollars a year. Yeah, I was buying, Yeah
- 15:48big, I was you know. Yeah, I started somewhere somewhere and it
- 15:52was humbling, but it was great. It was a very small firm,
- 15:54and I of course was getting coffee and delivery newspapers, but I was also
- 16:00starting to entertain some copy copywriting and copy editing and did my first big media
- 16:06buy for the company. And that was cool to be exposed to. But
- 16:08I wanted to go bigger corporate, I thought at the time. And so
- 16:12I interviewed and got a position with three M in industrial sales and manufacturing.
- 16:18And they're incredible. Yeah you talk very homely. Well, they're wonderful.
- 16:22I feel like I left that company with my mini MBA. They invest just
- 16:26shy of a quarter of a million dollars into each new hire. Oh wow.
- 16:30And that was That was the first role I understood what value meant in
- 16:36an entrepreneurial environment to really it's not it doesn't matter what your priorities are or
- 16:41your agenda is it's how you can invest serve the person in front of you.
- 16:45And that was the environment in which I learned that. And then the
- 16:51market crashed in two thousand and eight, two thousand and nine, and I
- 16:53had this wild spidy sense just with what was going on in manufacturing in this
- 16:59country that something was coming up. And so I just listened to my instincts
- 17:03and started interviewing. And I quickly pivoted a month prior to what my job
- 17:08would have been, which was going to be laid off, and so I
- 17:11knew. I interviewed in Nashville, bought a car because I had a company
- 17:17car at the time, and signed a lease and that was with the medical
- 17:22device company. And you worked there for six years, and that was a
- 17:26tough job for you. It was a lot. Yeah, it was again
- 17:32really the experience. It was a lifestyle. It wasn't really a job or
- 17:37a career. I mean it was a full lifestyle. You were like twelve
- 17:40to fourteen hour days. I was the same buying medical device sales consultant,
- 17:44and so you have the schedule of several different surgeons and you're on call,
- 17:48and so there would be time would be getting highlights and the foils got to
- 17:52go. I no, see, I lose my job immediately busy, But
- 18:00it was an industry where your femininity was at a disadvantage. I wanted to
- 18:04be hired for my knowledge and not the way I looked. I was tested
- 18:07three times as much as my male counterparts. There are very few women doing
- 18:12the doing the job that I was doing. But it was lucrative and it
- 18:17helped give me financial independence, and for that I'm grateful for. But I
- 18:22also I am grateful that I got the hell out of there. Yeah.
- 18:25Yeah, I don't feel like I was living life in that job. So
- 18:30the wake up call was the moment with your now husband. Take us through
- 18:36that. So we have a story. We met here in Nashville at a
- 18:41bar. People always think that we met the hospital. No, she ended
- 18:45up marrying a doctor, which I you can know, I never wanted to
- 18:48marry a doctor. I always wanted to be one. Well, I guess
- 18:52this will do. So we met at a bar and we ended up dating,
- 18:59and you know, fell in love and got engaged after like eight or
- 19:03nine months, and then the timing wasn't right and I called off her.
- 19:07Wedding invitations were sent out here. I just got real big, are you.
- 19:12Yeah, invitations went out and I called it off. It takes such
- 19:17courage. But when I see women, I mean, if it's wrong,
- 19:19it's wrong. But I can only imagine if invitations are sent out, like
- 19:22the amount of pressure on you. Yeah, and to make that move.
- 19:26Yeah, timing wasn't right. We got in this huge fight and I was
- 19:30like, this is not happening. So five weeks prior I called off the
- 19:33wedding and then I moved to Chicago. I was like, I'm peace out.
- 19:38When you work in a hospital setting, it's an interesting environment. There
- 19:44is a level of intimacy that has achieved very quickly within these four walls because
- 19:48I just think of the stress and the pressure. So people know so much
- 19:52about you. And it was day in and day out after I called off
- 19:56the wedding. It was like I would run into the staff that I hadn't
- 20:00seen and they're like, how's the wedding? How is this? And it
- 20:03was just an every day reminder. I was like, I can't do this.
- 20:06I need to leave. I need a change of scenery. And so
- 20:10the company I was with was a small, very private Swiss owned company and
- 20:15they went through one of the largest acquisitions in medical device history, and through
- 20:21that acquisition, I merged and went to Chicago with the company. Did y'all
- 20:29break up? Yeah, full stop. I left. I just know y'all
- 20:34are together now, and so that just makes me. Was he heartbroken?
- 20:40You know when you're like, I don't care, I'm out. Yeah.
- 20:48It was just that we needed we needed a break, we needed time,
- 20:52we needed space, we need we both needed healing and I needed to rebuild
- 20:57a different life there and so and there was there was a grieving. I
- 21:02felt like it was a death for sure. But I'll never forget. I
- 21:07purchased my first place in the city in Chicago, was my first like big
- 21:12girl move. And I was standing in the living room and he had called
- 21:17me a year a little over a year after us being separated and no contact,
- 21:22and he called me and he's like, I think you're with somebody,
- 21:26And I was like I am, and he goes, you know, you
- 21:34were right. He's like, you saved my life by leaving. He's like,
- 21:37I've been in therapy. Uh, you know everything that you said,
- 21:42you know, I've been working on and I want us to try again.
- 21:47If you can't, if you if you're open to that, and I was.
- 21:52I had missed him every day. It just felt like it felt hard,
- 21:57you know, and it's not like something was missing. And so we
- 22:03decided to do slowly on and off for that last year. And then we
- 22:11had had brilliant, like stable footing underneath us. And I was in Nashville
- 22:15seeing him, and we were at a restaurant in Franklin, Tennessee, and
- 22:21he looked across the table from me. We had just sat down ordered appetisers,
- 22:26and he was like, you have a tumor growing out of your neck.
- 22:29And I just stopped. I was just like, what are you talking
- 22:33about? And he would know. He's ahead and net cancer trained surgeon at
- 22:37one of the best the odds, Yeah, academic facilities, I mean,
- 22:42and and so, and I'm stubborn. I'm like, you're like, I'm
- 22:48hungry. I'm like, I'm going, I'm going back to Chicago getting this
- 22:52get no, no, well, I and I just was so I've was
- 22:59so driven by all leigation. I had to get back, you know,
- 23:00for work, and so I left and I tried to take care of it
- 23:04at Northwestern, and uh, it just it just was too long and not
- 23:10right and very quickly, I resigned, and you know, we we just
- 23:15re established what we wanted for our lives and where we wanted it to go.
- 23:19And and I remember him looking at me and he goes, you know,
- 23:22you saved my life by leaving announced my turn to saviors. Are you
- 23:26kidding me? And I had a very survivable form of cancer. I had
- 23:30fired cancer. It is if you were in the realm of having cancer,
- 23:37it's very favorable. However, I think the moment that woke me up when
- 23:42I acknowledged the fact that I had cancer was when we thought, very briefly,
- 23:48it had spread to my lungs and I would not be sitting here today.
- 23:55But that was a gift, I mean, my goodness, it just
- 23:59made me so aware. And then also it made me recognize the power of
- 24:06stillness and what can come through that and how you can realign and totally change
- 24:12your life. Yeah, because that moment you talk about how it was that
- 24:18was the wake up call for you, because you have been going, going,
- 24:22going, going, going, going on hardcore. Yeah, all day
- 24:26long. Probably I would assume or it sounded like not taking the best care
- 24:30of yourself, and then all of a sudden you're faced with not having the
- 24:37choice. And I think you actually said that, you were like, it
- 24:40took cancer for me to listen to like what my body or what the universe
- 24:45was trying to tell me. Do you think like if we were to zoom
- 24:49out and look at this from a spiritual like life path situation, that the
- 24:56chance like maybe God was whispering to you at different times to like, hey
- 25:03go this way, go this way, but you couldn't hear it, and
- 25:07it took something that big. Yeah, I think life is always speaking to
- 25:11us and it's up to us to listen. And I wasn't listening. And
- 25:15I think many of us do this, whether it's we're juggling kiddos and jobs
- 25:19and marriages and friendships and you know, political climates and you know work climates
- 25:29and all of these things, and we are just we're just on autopilot and
- 25:33we're in this We're living in a very interesting time in history where it's our
- 25:37attention economy, our attentions for sale at every second. And so I just
- 25:42want to say, you don't need cancer to wake up, number one,
- 25:45sure, but number two, you do need to sit with yourself at least
- 25:51twenty minutes a day and if you say that you can't look at your screen
- 25:53time, you one hundred yeah. And so I needed to sit with myself
- 25:59and really start listening to what I wanted. And for the first time after
- 26:04being diagnosed and really going through this journey, I sat with myself. And
- 26:08it wasn't pretty, it wasn't glamorous. I wasn't on my silk meditation pillow.
- 26:14I was in tears, and I was trying to navigate what life looked
- 26:18like and what that meant, and tried to expand boundaries that I had already
- 26:23put on my life and really open up a view to something new. And
- 26:29in order to build a new life, you have to break your old one,
- 26:33and that takes grieving too. You have to grieve who you once were
- 26:37and what you're willing to do and what you're willing to tolerate. And so
- 26:42it was a very organic transition for me. And when I stopped and I
- 26:48was in the stillness, it spoke to me through just a very quiet hum
- 26:55and like a little impulse and it was like by a camera, you know.
- 26:59And I my mother is very creative. Her whole side of the family
- 27:03is wildly creative. But I just had never given myself that opportunity. I
- 27:07thought creativity was a luxury of time I didn't have. I thought it was
- 27:11childlike, I thought it was silly. I thought it was just fanciful.
- 27:15And for the first time, I was like, stop, Like, I
- 27:19just want to have peace and prioritize my own healing and my own ease.
- 27:26And I hadn't had that in a very very long time. And so I
- 27:30picked up a camera. I purchased it online, I read the manual,
- 27:33and I started playing around with it and shooting in my condo in Chicago,
- 27:40and it felt like a form of prayer. It still does. It was
- 27:45a moving meditation for me. So you started taking these photos, And at
- 27:51what point did you come to Nashville Because you quit your job shortly after the
- 27:56diagnose. I resigned And then walk us through because I'm also curious, Like
- 28:02it's really easy to say, Okay, you just need to listen. You
- 28:03just need to listen to what your body's telling you. So what was the
- 28:07practical, Like, what what does that look like? What is like?
- 28:11What does listening look like? I am an energy girly, So if have
- 28:18you always been like that over the past ten years? Yeah, like okay,
- 28:22but what about at this point? At this point, no, I
- 28:25was just starting to uncover that, okay. And so I was starting to
- 28:27discover what was giving me energy versus draining me of my energy, what felt
- 28:34like peace, what felt like ease, what felt like a mental vacation,
- 28:40and the creative pursuits were that for me. So this camera, I was
- 28:45just getting lost in it. I was losing track of time. I was
- 28:48very curious. I felt very motivated around learning more and you know, and
- 28:55I was using my hands, which felt really good. It felt very back
- 28:59to basics. There was not a level of performance attached to it. It
- 29:03was solely for myself and it was me starting to say yes to myself.
- 29:07And I do believe this, but when you start saying yes to yourself,
- 29:11the world opens up and it starts to meet em at your yes. And
- 29:15so I stayed in Chicago for a little bit and when a few of my
- 29:22girlfriends there understood that this is what I was starting to do, and then
- 29:26one thing led to another. One of my girlfriends, her sister in law,
- 29:30needed a photographer for an interiors shoot, and I was very fearful.
- 29:37I had no clue what I was doing. However, I said yes,
- 29:41and I do believe also leaning into the things that scare you and make you
- 29:45uncomfortable, that's going to be your expansiveness and your ticket out of what you're
- 29:52currently not loving about your life. Right now, we got to talk about
- 29:56that because that is a recurring themes some and by the way, I feel
- 30:00like a lot of people think that you get to a certain level and you're
- 30:03not scared anymore. Oh no, every cyclical. Yeah, I just completed
- 30:08a big start to a project yesterday. Fearful, you know, but you
- 30:14have to embrace it. That's your green light. Fear is a green light.
- 30:17Okay, okay, are you referring to Matthew mcconaugheyes, No, oh
- 30:22really okay, yeah, that's like he's saying like green lights. So I
- 30:26thought that's what you were referring to. But okay, he's great. I
- 30:30loved him. He's great. Could you ever read that book? Oh it's
- 30:33so good listening to it. It's just an easy listen. But okay,
- 30:37So fear is the green light. That's so because a lot of people run
- 30:40away from it. They think it's like a red light. Yeah, no,
- 30:42they keeps stuck around. Yeah, if you continue to listen to your
- 30:47fear, it will keep you stuck. There's no growth there. Fear's a
- 30:52liar. So you get this camera, you're starting to enjoy it. It's
- 30:56giving you energy and take this project and you are green and they're just like,
- 31:03hey, can you do this? And instead of saying no, I'm
- 31:06not good enough, you go for it. I go for it. I
- 31:08intuitively style for the frame, I intuitively shoot and really feel my way around
- 31:15the space. And then this was really fundamental, and this was ten years
- 31:21ago. I entered in the first of all, I picked up a camera
- 31:23thinking it was just going to be my healing catharsis through cancer and just a
- 31:27hobby. And during this time in the interiors and architectural landscape was pretty antiquated,
- 31:34so there was a circuit of really talented photographers solely shooting for print.
- 31:40And having had such an expansive corporate background, I wanted to bring, of
- 31:48course, value to this new client of mine. And after delivering a beautiful,
- 31:56very overexposed now looking back at gallery, but that was the thing.
- 32:00Back then, it was like bright and airy, bright light and airy,
- 32:06I wanted to She was like, this is great. I'm like, well,
- 32:07what are you going to use it for? She's like my portfolio,
- 32:09and I was like, well, how about I try to pitch it?
- 32:14And I focused on an area of photography and the editorial landscape that nobody was
- 32:22focusing on, and it was the digital editorial outlets. And so I placed
- 32:28my very first chute and it became really a snowball and a synergistic effect to
- 32:34where my client was then getting exposure and in front of new people, she
- 32:38was gaining new clients, and then my portfolio was growing, and it was
- 32:43just a really nice cycle of helping sustain women, mostly majority women owned businesses
- 32:49nationally with saving them on PR costs and really making these galleries work for them
- 32:55and building up their digital visual libraries. What gave you the idea to go
- 33:01digital? I wasn't good enough for print at the time. WHOA, So
- 33:07you took what could have been I don't know, just something that people would
- 33:13see as a weakness. It turned into it made you a pioneer at the
- 33:17time, like, hey, this is actually the direction that everybody's about to
- 33:22be going, so go yep, that's kind of gangster. I love it,
- 33:29Thanks mama. Okay, but you didn't know it at the time.
- 33:34I didn't know it at the time, Right, it's always in hindsight.
- 33:37I felt that ping again, that little impulse like, no, be a
- 33:42value, try to add value here, be sustainable. And it was that
- 33:47constant innovative what's going to work, what's not going to work, what's gonna
- 33:53work, what's not going to work? And how can I push my limits
- 33:57here with you know, integrity and transparency and serving the client? Right,
- 34:05you had her business top of mind, like how can I give her more
- 34:08value for this? Like she took a chance on me. What can I
- 34:13do to make this even more worth her time? And I feel like so
- 34:15many people don't allow themselves because they're trying to get to the next point in
- 34:20the next pint? How can I climb Now? I'm very process driven.
- 34:22And then I also knew my blind spots. I wanted to understand the industry
- 34:28from a business fundamental standpoint, which meant I needed to understand contracts, which
- 34:32meant I needed to hire one of the best copyright and trademark attorneys in the
- 34:37industry who worked in the entertainment space with music and copyright, and so I
- 34:43did. That was my biggest expense and I had the funds from my corporate
- 34:50cushion, and so I invested thousands of dollars, thousands and thousands and thousands
- 34:55of dollars, getting contracts set up, having them teach me how to speak
- 35:02and what to look for, and you know how I can communicate these things
- 35:08to the clients, so I could I could become a professional photographer. Most
- 35:14of my job is about contracts and then communicating those contracts and becoming very transparent
- 35:19with my client and some of my clients of course, now after having my
- 35:25business for ten years, are amazing. But I had a lot of grenades
- 35:30in the beginning. And you know, there's also a lot of ego when
- 35:34you're when you're working with high level, high publicity situations, and it brings
- 35:43out, it brings out some monsters. Yeah, so I know that in
- 35:50the beginning, this was a hobby for you and you were just like,
- 35:52I mean, this was just purely cathartic, like something that was going to
- 35:57help you to just touch back to base, back to yourself. At what
- 36:01point was it after doing this for the client and saying, oh, I'm
- 36:05actually not bad at this, there's a business here. At what point did
- 36:07it change from hobby to business very quickly. It was hobby when I was
- 36:13really grappling with the idea that I was going through cancer. And it was
- 36:17hobby when I was starting to really return to my physical body and not being
- 36:22so cerebral. We lived so far in the future or in our past stories,
- 36:28and this was the first time I was really feeling my heart beat in
- 36:31my body and I was present and I was tethered to the moment with the
- 36:36camera in my hand. It was like my little superpower of just getting me
- 36:39back to where I needed to be, back to basics. So it was
- 36:44hobby for a few weeks. It turned very entrepreneurial after I started to see
- 36:51the synergistic effect. And then also when I put work out there, it
- 36:55wasn't masterful. It just came organically. More people can. If you build
- 37:02it, they will come mentality, and that's what happened. And you have
- 37:07to figure shit out as you go because I, again just having had the
- 37:12corporate experience with the two Fortune one hundred companies, I needed to know what
- 37:15the hell I was doing before I got myself in any deeper and I know
- 37:20right now we live in this kind of fake It till you make it.
- 37:22Society knowledge. You have to have knowledge and experience, be transparent, understand
- 37:29you know, communicate that you're you're new, that you're navigating things. There's
- 37:32no people embrace that and find it endearing. You don't need to be you
- 37:37don't need to be the expert right out of the gate. I love that,
- 37:39and so it was. It was a building time. And now after
- 37:45being doing it for ten years, I've seen a lot, I've learned a
- 37:49lot. I've made mistakes along the way. I've learned from those mistakes.
- 37:52But my goodness, it's still all about the client. And I haven't lost
- 37:57that fundamental principle of it still being an artistry, a moving meditation, a
- 38:02collaboration, sustainable avenue for women, women owned businesses, you know. And
- 38:09that's where my heart is. And you're so damn good. I mean,
- 38:15y'all, I want just travel with me. I need to take that.
- 38:21You make me look as good as you make everything else look like. It
- 38:23is unbelievable because when I followed you at first, I was like, oh
- 38:28wow, like you're obviously so talented. Knew that, But the more I
- 38:31dug deep and I saw your work and just like in your home. Oh
- 38:37my god, your home. By the way, we both have a Josh
- 38:38Young piece in our offices. I saw that I was drug. That's the
- 38:44only artist that I know on the planet. So it's fine. But it's
- 38:49just like, your eye is insane, and I love that, like like
- 38:53I love your love for light because that's something that I noticed too. And
- 38:58and you just like, how did you Is it something that you noticed that,
- 39:06Wow, this is a talent that I have. And then of course,
- 39:08like you improved upon it a little bit, or was it something that
- 39:13you look back you're like, Okay, the talent wasn't there, but you
- 39:15fostered it and you found your niche and that set you apart. That's an
- 39:21interesting question. I don't know. I know that, first of all,
- 39:25if you were in my creative brain on location. I just got back from
- 39:29a shoot in Scottsdale with a client. She's super talented. Her technical skill
- 39:34and design is unbelievable, and she's worked with so many photographers on so many
- 39:39different shoots, and it was really rewarding to see her tear up because she's
- 39:44like, Alisa, you the way you move around the space and the way
- 39:46you tee up these shoots. She's like, it has just been a really
- 39:50beautiful process and I feel like it's intuitive for me. Yeah, but it's
- 39:54not an easy intuitive. It's a struggle. I won't stop until I fully
- 40:00exhausted and satisfied that voice inside me I'm saying, no, you know it's
- 40:07not yet. Yeah. Right. And so with light, for instance,
- 40:13I love it. I mean is it is my life force, It is
- 40:17my emotional currency, It is my inspiration. The way it moves from room
- 40:23to room is a form of poetry for me. And I have to start
- 40:29my day each morning with light, with photographing it, even privately for myself.
- 40:36A lot of people do you know morning pages? You know, Julia
- 40:39Cameron's a big proponent of that. I take out my phone. I'm not
- 40:45on social media, and I really like to capture the light. I like
- 40:49to set the tone with that because I'm a big believer when you look for
- 40:52the light, and when you start your day with the light, you're able
- 40:55to try to find it a little bit easier throughout the day. And for
- 41:00me, intuitively, I know what looks good in a space. Technically,
- 41:07photography is a skill like any other skill, and you have to master that
- 41:12skill with practice in showing up for it every day. So it's just it
- 41:15sounds like it's best of both worlds. It's a combination. Yeah, And
- 41:19then you also have to stay you know, you have to stay on top
- 41:22of the newest technology and see if it suits you and see if it doesn't.
- 41:25But you have to be knowledgeable so you can so you can continue to
- 41:29be of service to your clients and your business. What's one way that you've
- 41:34had to stretch yourself in a new way, like with new technology that you
- 41:37didn't foresee coming and maybe you kind of were like, damn it, I
- 41:40don't want to do this, Like for me it was TikTok's like whenever TikTok
- 41:44first came out, I was like, I'm not doing that, and then
- 41:45you do it and I'm not doing it anymore. But I want to season
- 41:49right now really, which may you know, ruffle some feathers, but I'm
- 41:53just kind of like fuck it, I don't care, Like I'm not letting
- 41:58technology rule my life. I show up, I share what i'm inspired.
- 42:05If you look through my Instagram, it's really grown with me as I've evolved
- 42:10as a human being, not saying I'm so evolved. I'm just saying it
- 42:14has naturally had its course. You know. At first it was my litmus
- 42:17test to show my work and if I could even do it, if I
- 42:22could even share the baby, you know, and show my photography. There's
- 42:28a lot of fear around that. And then through time it became a client
- 42:31portfolio and now it's just a form of peace and a reminder of our creative
- 42:37courage and to look for the light and to notice and be present. And
- 42:45I think my biggest stretch hasn't been on the technology side. It's really been
- 42:51challenging myself creatively through other creative pursuits. And for me, it's been my
- 42:55writing. Okay, so what does that look like when again, I've had
- 43:02my business for ten years and in two thousand and seventeen, around that time,
- 43:09I really wanted to write a book and I didn't think I could and
- 43:14it was a bucket list item of mine. And I am somebody who doesn't
- 43:17compete with others. I compete with myself, and I'm like, let's see
- 43:21if you can do this. So was this the fear thing too for you?
- 43:24Okay? Yep, yep, yep. So I was like, I
- 43:30can't write I don't know where comma goes. I'm like a grammatical hot mess.
- 43:34But I love it too. I love I love journaling. I love
- 43:38getting my words to paper and just channel. And there had been a story
- 43:46that had been just living inside me for a very very long time, and
- 43:52the timing was aligned, and I started to write, and I started to
- 43:57open myself up to the idea that I could do this, and certain things
- 44:01found a place, people found a place in my life to help me get
- 44:05there. When you write a book, it is a team sport. When
- 44:07you launch a book, it is a team sport. And I came out
- 44:10with my first project and that writing right now still is my creative stretch.
- 44:21So how long was that process of deciding that you, Okay, I'm going
- 44:25to do this, And that was you saying yes to yourself and then I
- 44:30love when you say like, And then all of a sudden, the components
- 44:31started coming in. And I believe when you say yes to yourself, the
- 44:34world meets you at your yes. Yeah. It's not going to be an
- 44:36immediate yes. It's going to be like, you know, maybe open this
- 44:40door, or this door is slightly more cracked, or you're going to hear
- 44:44this name. Maybe not the first time, but maybe three times, you
- 44:47know. And so my process publishing is I don't know if anybody listening is
- 44:54interested in writing a book, or if you're interested. I think a lot
- 44:58of people are. Actually, yeah, I am too. Yeah. It's
- 45:00not a linear path, and it's not a publicized path either. And so
- 45:04my path to publishing, I in my mind had one of the best literary
- 45:08agents that I wanted to land a meeting with, and I landed a meeting
- 45:13with in New York. And she's wonderful and graceful and beautiful and experienced.
- 45:19And she looked at me and she was like, I'm happy to be your
- 45:21mentor, but I only work with the aby architecture that I just top one
- 45:25hundred. I have books that you can photograph, but photographers don't really write
- 45:30books. And I was like, that just lit the biggest fire underneath my
- 45:34fucking ass. I love that You're like, oh, Ben okay. And
- 45:37she's wonderful, she's so sweet, she's super talented. And then I definitely
- 45:44go went back to my hotel room, cried, gave myself. I always
- 45:46give myself a day to cry, and the love that next day. Gay
- 45:51Mark we're over it, we're moving on. I do it with big wines
- 45:52too. I let myself celebrate that day and the next day we're working on
- 45:57the next way. Really yes, yeah, and so you know it's just
- 46:02you got to be in that moment, celebrate it, new day. The
- 46:06next day, what are you going to do? So I went back to
- 46:10work. I was in New York, flew back to Nashville. I was
- 46:15on set for it was a project for Conde nash Traveler, and the publicist
- 46:22had just moved to Nashville. We're dear friends now, but I kicked her
- 46:25out of the room. I was like, there's too many people in here.
- 46:29I need to hear it, I need to feel it. Everybody leave
- 46:32and she's like, who is this bitch? So after the shoot, she's
- 46:39like that was wonderful and I was like, yeah, you just moved.
- 46:43I would love to introduce you to my group of girlfriends here. And she's
- 46:46like, that's amazing. I also have another person who just moved. I
- 46:50was like, she's invited, she's welcomed. And so through that relationship,
- 46:57I met my literary agent, who I then went back to New York,
- 47:01had a meeting with She immediately saw the vision of the book and what it
- 47:07was and the energy of the South I was trying to capture, and the
- 47:12new Southern style was born from them, and it was it was a heart.
- 47:16You know, this book from the outside looking in looks like a design
- 47:22book, but it's just it's so much more. It's about humanizing our differences
- 47:27through the lens of creativity. And and it was it wasn't that's an interesting
- 47:32That's been an interesting journey too. How so, this has been a story
- 47:37that had been living inside me. Being Jewish in the South has come with
- 47:42its own interesting experiences, I will say. And being Jewish and Oklahoma,
- 47:50my parents are also in our faith. My mom converted to Judaism before she
- 47:55had children. And if anything, it's made me very re open minded.
- 48:00I listen and I like to meet people with where they are, try not
- 48:06to judge, I try not to insert my own perspective and just listen.
- 48:10And so I wanted to bring an element of substance to an industry that only
- 48:15celebrated style. And this is a book of it's the first of its kind
- 48:22in the design industry. And I started out really authentic and before it became
- 48:29really performative now. Yeah, And so I launched it in twenty twenty during
- 48:36a really important time. While the timing was really pivotal. However, it
- 48:42was just challenging. It was really hard. Certain outlets didn't want to feature
- 48:45books from girls who looked like me, although this message came long before.
- 48:52And you're advocating for differences in the creative community and richness of yeah and ironic
- 49:00and I confront the culpable past of the South and issues that are still reminiscent
- 49:07of this day. But also how there is bridge building and how at a
- 49:12very local level people are incredible and rolling up their sleeves and helping communities and
- 49:17leading with creativity and really coming together in union, I mean in unity.
- 49:27And I think that's what we need even more now. I agree, Yeah,
- 49:30I agree. I was talking to a friend the other day and we
- 49:36were talking about actually, no, this is oh gosh, this was on
- 49:37I've been doing a lot of podcasts, and we were talking about this,
- 49:42about just how there are so many things in place that are designed to pit
- 49:47us against each other and make us think that this important, that this issue
- 49:52is so important that we have to fight with each other. And we were
- 49:54talking about like fake trolls and how they're designed just to create fights and more.
- 50:00And you're absolutely right, like, we just realized what's actually important and
- 50:05came together. We realized how strong we are, and then we can work
- 50:07through it. But we get so sidetracked and it's a problem. Yeah,
- 50:15there's you know, that's a whole other podcast. We do not have to
- 50:21get into that when you're doing all these podcasts. Questions, how do you
- 50:27protect your energy? I don't batch with with interviews. We're actually just talking
- 50:35about that because we did Julie before you, and I was like, you
- 50:37know, whenever we do things in person, what would be the best way
- 50:42to do this? And I actually said, I said I would not be
- 50:45able to do more than two of these, yes, because I thought of
- 50:46that direction here. Julie is such a beautiful, deep soul and I go
- 50:52deep too. Yeah, you go deep and at the end, you know,
- 50:54you just want to like, yeah, yeah, it's one to think
- 50:59about for sure, But no, I knew because you two are together and
- 51:02I had it just the timing could not have been better. I'm good to
- 51:06do too, It's just more than two that would be way way too much.
- 51:09I was just curious, how do you do you have any practices that
- 51:14you lean on, because I know you're really big on rituals and you're really
- 51:17big on daily practices. Just to check in with yourself, do you have
- 51:22something specific to protect your energy when I'm speaking, or if I'm doing a
- 51:29meet and greet, or if I'm around just someone who I am feeling very
- 51:35drained. It may not have anything to do with that person, but I
- 51:37am just certainly feeling the energy leave my body. I do this thing physically
- 51:43where I cross my arms just over my lower part of my tummy, my
- 51:49sacral and I just visualize their energy running over me down to the ground,
- 51:54being purified through the ground, and then just coming back up and I'm just
- 51:59and I also focus on my breath and focus on what they're saying, but
- 52:02just you know, having it purified by the ground underneath me. And then
- 52:07my mom always has said, Alyssa, if you ever feel like that,
- 52:12to visualize a white sphere around you and you are just protected by that white
- 52:16sphere of light and that whatever they're sending it's reflecting back and being purified through
- 52:22that light, so it's going back to them with love and just ease and
- 52:28peace. I was going to ask you because in listening to other interviews with
- 52:34you, you are so connected and you have this it's like this deep knowing
- 52:40of and I guess it must come a lot from your mom because she,
- 52:44you know, she shared those things with you. I think it's women,
- 52:47I really do. I think there's a sense of I think our power lies
- 52:53in being undecorated and really turning to nature for inspiration and just being grounded and
- 53:04not putting the titles on us and all this stuff, and just sitting in
- 53:07our power and our resilience and our softness. But I'm also direct. I
- 53:13think sometimes when people meet me they think that I'm so peaceful and calm.
- 53:17No I can be a total raging lunatic, but I try to channel it
- 53:21in a constructive direct way. But I don't know. I think we have
- 53:31a sixth sense intuitive knowing, and I think we all have it, and
- 53:39we have to listen to it again. It's part of the stopping and the
- 53:43stillness of it. And I feel like the more I continue to grow into
- 53:46and explore and expand into my creative practice, the more I embrace solitude,
- 53:52the more I embrace silence, the more I like to really sit with myself
- 53:59and be grounded in the most undecorated version of me. So I'm somebody who
- 54:07I appreciate all that I am into spirituality. I'm also an energy girly.
- 54:14But and this is a story that I'm telling myself, and I'm fully owning
- 54:16that I cannot fucking sit still to save my life. Why. I don't
- 54:22know. I am just like go go, go, go, go,
- 54:24go go all of the time. And part of it it is a season.
- 54:28Like right now, I feel like you're a busy mom of two.
- 54:30You know, you are a wife, and you have this beautiful podcast,
- 54:35you have this beautiful business. However, I think you have to get really
- 54:39clear in terms of what is nourishing you and what is taking away and really
- 54:45let that be the driving factor. I agree. I mean, clarity is
- 54:51a really beautiful gift. Yeah, and I know there's this phrase. I
- 54:55hate it. It is a pet peeve of mine. What is it?
- 55:00All the things? Oh, I've never said that before in my life,
- 55:07So I agree. Stop. But it's like we are not wired to do
- 55:13all the things. We don't even have to dream so big. We can
- 55:16just exist, we can rest, we can stop. And I know things
- 55:22need to get done, and oftentimes as women, we endure the emotional labor
- 55:29and that extra lift to get it all done, but we need to delegate
- 55:34too well. And I was reflecting on your story too, and I love
- 55:39so much how it started as this hobby that was purely like you didn't go
- 55:44into it wanting to monetize it. That's not what it was for you,
- 55:47right, And I wonder if that's why it took off in a way that
- 55:53it did. And I realized it wasn't an overnight situation, and you know,
- 55:58you put you did your due deal leigence, and you worked your ass
- 56:00off and you went all in on it, which I think there's that's a
- 56:04whole other set of the conversation that could be brought into it too. But
- 56:08it was so organic for you, And I wonder if I mean, there's
- 56:13I know there's something there when let's I mean, you're an energy girally,
- 56:16yeah, haven't you? Haven't you noticed that the things that have been most
- 56:21powerful in your life have come with ease. You work towards it for sure,
- 56:25However, it's not motivated. I think motivation is really important in terms
- 56:30of where your intention is. So if your intention is just to make millions
- 56:36of dollars and you want to drive the Bentley and do the thing, that's
- 56:39kind of like not high magnetism. Right, if you are on a healing
- 56:45path and it serves others and it serves yourself and it is really easeful and
- 56:51peaceful and you're you're you're finding a lot of value in it. I think
- 56:54that's really magnetic and I think it will draw more into your life if you
- 56:59can teach you to show up in that highest version of service to yourself and
- 57:04service to others and not ego. I think ego needs to be killed a
- 57:08little bit. I agree. And that was something I've been planning on like
- 57:13the last quarter of my business, and I've shared about this with my audience.
- 57:16But one of the things I was like, Okay, so what's my
- 57:19new goal? And I shifted it. And it's so easy, especially in
- 57:22an online space and in my industry to coaching industry, which I know you
- 57:25do some of that too in your business mentorship. But it's just like that
- 57:30next level money goal and you know how much money are you making each month
- 57:37and each year, and it's all about the money. How do you have
- 57:39a if somebody has a lack based mentality around money, how do you what
- 57:44are your top top two to top three nuggets for them to break through that,
- 57:52I mean, black based mentality around money. Where does that come from?
- 57:58Do you think worth in money are directly core? Absolutely okay? And
- 58:02the lie that you're telling yourself right, there's some sort of fear based scenario
- 58:07that is that's driving that. Right, money is the root of all evil
- 58:13or there's never going to be enough, right, So I think you've got
- 58:15to kill it at the root. You've got to do that in our work
- 58:19to get to the root of Like, where is this coming from? Where
- 58:22did I adopt this? Yeah? I think too growing up, you know,
- 58:25it was always discouraged to daydream, right, and we were supposed to
- 58:30be so structured in school and learn and you know, math and science and
- 58:35trust me, I'm married. Yeah, the math and science, no,
- 58:39but and those are very important skills. But I also think it's important to
- 58:43daydream and have fun and be childlike in play. And my goodness, I
- 58:49can say for ten years I've been living not only a creative life, but
- 58:52I've been able to make money from that creative life, and that is a
- 58:55beautiful thing. Yeah, I wouldn't have it any other way, and I'm
- 59:00not apologizing for it, and I certainly have my unlimited beliefs. I am
- 59:07human first and foremost. But I push myself. Hey, am I cutting
- 59:13myself short? Here? Am I playing small? Here? Do I need
- 59:15to reevaluate and gain more clarity of where this is coming from so I can
- 59:21push way through this and grow in the way I want to. You have
- 59:29talked about because you mentioned your creative process, and I want to talk about
- 59:31that too, because a lot of people listening that like if they're wanting to
- 59:36lean more into the playful side of their business and discover that for themselves.
- 59:39And you've got my wheels turning. You've talked about a holistic approach to your
- 59:45creative process. What does that look like like if somebody was like, Okay,
- 59:49I want to dive into photography or whatever. What does a holistic approach
- 59:53mean? And how can somebody adopt that? Because I know it served you
- 59:57really well, thank you, And it changes again. And there's no linear
- 1:00:00path to creativity. And I think about creativity every day. I mean,
- 1:00:06it is what I live in, It is what motivates me. I break
- 1:00:10it down to this. Creativity is a fancy word for listening. You have
- 1:00:15to listen to yourself and you have to listen to the world around you.
- 1:00:19And so often we don't because we are so busy, so distracted doing quote
- 1:00:23unquote all the damn things. Okay, we do one thing at a time.
- 1:00:32Do it really well. Carve out time for your creativity, and it's
- 1:00:36like a muscle, like anything else. When you show up for it.
- 1:00:38It may feel really uncomfortable, it may feel really vulnerable. But for me
- 1:00:45personally, how I embrace new creative projects. I don't put a lot of
- 1:00:52structure around them. Okay, it's more of a free flow. My life
- 1:00:57is very structured. I'm type A. I'm running it, you know.
- 1:01:00As a creative I am a business woman first, you know, and contractually
- 1:01:05driven, have a strong foundation, and then the creativity is the flow.
- 1:01:09And so normally my creative moments. It changes for everybody, but for me
- 1:01:15it's really in the morning, especially when I'm writing. I block off time.
- 1:01:22So if you are wanting to cultivate a strong creative practice, you have
- 1:01:28to listen to yourself, to the world around you. You have to incorporate
- 1:01:31strong boundaries and time for time, you have to create that space. I
- 1:01:39talk a lot about creative courage, and it's believing in a vision so much
- 1:01:45greater than yourself that your current reality doesn't reflect just yet. Creativity is living
- 1:01:52in your vision. It's not living in your victimhood, it's not living in
- 1:01:55your current state. It's truly co creating with the world around you. It's
- 1:02:01a nourishing gift that you're giving to yourself to others, and when you are
- 1:02:07living in that, it inspires other people to take permission and do it themselves.
- 1:02:14And creativity also requires rest. You have to rest, you have to
- 1:02:20sleep, you have to nourish yourself. You have to really go at it
- 1:02:23with a strong boundary to create that space, because again, this isn't something
- 1:02:30that's going to consume you all day long. However, I'm a big believer
- 1:02:35in creative dates. You know, if I'm going to a new city or
- 1:02:39if I'm traveling for work, I always fly in on the Red Eye and
- 1:02:44I take myself on a creative date before I get started, whether it's you
- 1:02:49know, a hike or a museum in a city. And then my days
- 1:02:52are normally very structured with the meetings and full day shoots and so or you
- 1:02:57know, they just get full of quick So it's time to myself to think,
- 1:03:01to be inspired by somebody else's work, to sit there and listen to
- 1:03:05something else, to someone else. What I'm hearing is that you're prioritizing the
- 1:03:10time to be creative and what you need to access that creativity because it's not
- 1:03:17just going to come. If you're running on fumes, or if you're stressed,
- 1:03:21or if you're trying to do all the things or whatever, then you're
- 1:03:23not going to be able to act. But if you don't know where to
- 1:03:25start, I would start with stillness or playfulness and create a boundary around both.
- 1:03:32What would that look like like, Okay, I'm going to set a
- 1:03:35time. Okay, let's say you have a hard time sitting still. Yes,
- 1:03:39this is the longest I've ever sat still in my life. What is
- 1:03:43giving you energy right now? And if it's not giving you energy, what
- 1:03:46feels so peaceful to you right now? If you're like God, I don't
- 1:03:50need energy right now, I just need peace, that's a sign that you
- 1:03:53need to rest. So like, take the nap, take the bath,
- 1:03:58take whatever time you need, Yeah, and then like, what what are
- 1:04:01you curious about? I noticed the other day something that gave me so much
- 1:04:08energy as I was hosting a masterclass and I did a coaching portion of it
- 1:04:11and I went forty five minutes over because there were more questions, and I
- 1:04:15was like this, I could do this all dame, and that it had
- 1:04:18been a minute since I felt that. Maybe it's like a free flow women's
- 1:04:24retreat. Maybe it's something you know, but then independent from anybody else,
- 1:04:28what areas light you up? Do you love to cook? Do you love
- 1:04:31to garden? Do you like to go for walks? Do you like traveling
- 1:04:38for fun? Yeah? And the days were like you can just go out
- 1:04:42and explore, Like that's when I am my most giddy and childlike. That's
- 1:04:46what you need to be doing more of. Yeah, it's whatever is giving
- 1:04:49you creativity is not something serious. It turns into something serious when it can
- 1:04:56be a business, but it starts with and what's giving you joy and playfulness
- 1:05:03and fun and gets makes you giddy. That's energetic. That's what's lighting you
- 1:05:09up. Yeah. Yeah, we get so bogged down with like and I
- 1:05:14love so much your story too, because you're big on the pivot and you've
- 1:05:16done that, so I would say masterfully in your career and the way that
- 1:05:19you went from one start contrast to where you are now, and you continue
- 1:05:25to do that. And I think all of us and anybody listening needs to
- 1:05:30give themselves the permission to, like you said, ask themselves the question,
- 1:05:33what's not working anymore? Yeah? What? Where are you blocked? Like?
- 1:05:38What is it? What's prohibiting you from moving forward? Why? What
- 1:05:41is that trigger? Do some work around that? But also the lighter side
- 1:05:45of things, don't go for structure, go for walks where it takes you.
- 1:05:50You know, take your camera, journal, paint, take a painting
- 1:05:55class, take a pottery class, take a cooking class. Put yourself in
- 1:05:59an environment where other people are learning the same thing as you are. You
- 1:06:01know, use your hands, get back to basics. Sleep, you know,
- 1:06:06eat foods that are going to be medicine for you, and just really
- 1:06:11be present anything. I feel like the most creative, My most creative moments
- 1:06:15are my most present moments and my most and those are my most connected moments.
- 1:06:20And I look at creativity. It's not like a silver bullet solution for
- 1:06:26all of your life's problems. But my goodness. It is a catalyst for
- 1:06:29growth. It will change your life. It is a truth teller for you.
- 1:06:32It is a vehicle for your voice, and it will become the architect
- 1:06:38of your life. That's beautiful. Thanks, Yeah, I was thinking of
- 1:06:43that's something that I need to do. I need to do something with my
- 1:06:45hands independent, like if I'm I am writing a lot right now for hopefully
- 1:06:53a brand new project that I'll be able to that was one of the questions
- 1:06:57i book, like please, but sometimes my writing is like me, just
- 1:07:08I need to get out of my head. And so a good way I'm
- 1:07:12doing that right now is through physical movement, whether it's being outside of nature,
- 1:07:18doing pilates, moving my body, or doing things cooking right now too,
- 1:07:24Like yeah, I love to cook in our new kitchen, and like
- 1:07:29just I'm not thinking about writing, I'm not thinking about photography, but I'm
- 1:07:32still using my hands and I'm doing things that are visually just peaceful and beautiful
- 1:07:39and I'm noticing it and I'm present and I'm connected. So and I think
- 1:07:44that that's such a great tip too, Like you can have your art and
- 1:07:47your main your main bay, but you can also have your side Chick too,
- 1:07:50and you can go and play in other areas and allow like take that
- 1:07:55break and it's a breath of fresh air, you know. I point nine
- 1:08:00nine nine nine percent. I'm shooting interiors and architectural spaces and they're beautiful and
- 1:08:05amazing. One of my clients that I've had forever and I love her,
- 1:08:09she's like a little sister Brooke Worthington Jewelry. She's amazing. Yeah, she
- 1:08:13just had a baby and she's like, will you do my new born session?
- 1:08:15And I did, and it was like the I had the most fun,
- 1:08:18you know, just because it was like different in nuance, you have
- 1:08:23to reincorporate the newness and you know, you have to switch it up.
- 1:08:29You have to not be so monotonous. That's boring. I agree, And
- 1:08:31also like if we're talking about creativity, you have to allow yourself to try
- 1:08:34different things and to get out of your box. Very good. So,
- 1:08:40okay, shifting gears a little bit. There are a lot of business owners
- 1:08:44that listen to this podcast, and I know you have built in addition to
- 1:08:47your business, this also personal brand where people are following along and it's kind
- 1:08:53of like the lifestyle at this point, And I was curious for anybody who
- 1:08:59was wanting to build their own personal brand, what tips come up where you're
- 1:09:03like, Okay, if I had to redo this, do it all over
- 1:09:06again, and this be good for business, what would I do? I
- 1:09:13am not led by personal brands. I will say that, Okay, it
- 1:09:16was an accident. I don't look at myself as a personal I look at
- 1:09:19like Martha Stewart as a personal brand. You know. I look at myself
- 1:09:25as maybe an accidental influencer. I don't really you know. I'm a photographer.
- 1:09:30I have a really incredible skill. I really try to provide a tremendous
- 1:09:35value and marketing for my clients. And I'm an author. I'm a writer,
- 1:09:44and I'm growing into that. I'm a back to basics girl. I
- 1:09:47keep it really simple for myself. I am a creature of habit. I
- 1:09:53think I know what I like. So if you're wanting to show up and
- 1:09:57build something strong, I think consistency and clarity trump talent every single fucking day.
- 1:10:06So be consistent with your pursuits, get real clear, have it drive
- 1:10:13you every day, plant those seeds and continue to show up. And then
- 1:10:16as a byproduct of that experience and that knowledge and that service you will just
- 1:10:23start developing a personal brand. But this was not my objective. I know
- 1:10:28that neither was your business. But I'm intentional with it, I know.
- 1:10:33I mean, I have a really beautiful team. You know, we are
- 1:10:40you know, different irons in the fire right now, so you definitely and
- 1:10:45it's it's yes, to expand that foundation, but more importantly, it's it's
- 1:10:51to push myself in this in those goals to see if I can do even
- 1:10:57do it. It's like that's where most of myne or you're it comes from,
- 1:11:00Like, okay, can tell you, is there something that you can
- 1:11:03share that you're like, an area that you're wanting to play in, or
- 1:11:06that you will be here soon. I have been apprehensive in launching something,
- 1:11:15and I'm launching something that has served hundreds of clients within the next few months,
- 1:11:20So stay tuned for that. I can't say anything. Okay, well,
- 1:11:27we'll be on the lookout for it. But also too, like I'm
- 1:11:29pivoting. I think I'm in the process of writing and writing something really special
- 1:11:36and it's a risk. The safer version would be to do another coffee table
- 1:11:42book. It's not another coffee table book, Okay, and we'll see you
- 1:11:45know. Oh nice, Okay, so when is it coming? We don't
- 1:11:48know yet. Oh we don't got anang. Well we're excited about that.
- 1:11:55Okay, we got questions from the audience. But before we get to that,
- 1:11:58I wanted to touch on something else. I heard you talk about that.
- 1:12:01Piauked my interest and it's where you use visualization. You've used your whole
- 1:12:08life as a toom. So for anybody who does not know Alyssa's background,
- 1:12:13you were a gymnast, like seriously, actually for how long? Oh my
- 1:12:17goodness. My mother put me in gymnastics because I was kicked out of LA
- 1:12:23at four years old? How are you kicked out of LA? I just
- 1:12:26couldn't sit still. I was you at four? Yeah, But she put
- 1:12:36me in gymnastics just to wear me out. And from four until fourteen,
- 1:12:43and I competed internationally. I was a high level gymnast. I had a
- 1:12:48freak accident, so I was training in the summer and this was like my
- 1:12:54life. I was training for the Olympics for you know, it was like
- 1:12:58the thing. I would go to school, train, do ballet, sometimes
- 1:13:02spend the night at my coach's house, trained before school and it was that
- 1:13:06type of childhood. I was doing a round off back handspring double back,
- 1:13:15and rather than doing the double back, I shot up straight in the air
- 1:13:17and landed on my neck. And from that point forward, I was around
- 1:13:23fourteen. At this point, I had such a fear of going backwards,
- 1:13:29and so my mom was so just instrumental during that phase of my life.
- 1:13:38She made sure that I had a healthy relationship with food. She made sure
- 1:13:41that I was socialized because I was one of the few that wasn't homeschooled at
- 1:13:44this point. And she came in and saw my struggle going backwards, and
- 1:13:51she flew me to one of the best collegiate gymnastics programs in the country,
- 1:14:00one of the top tiered sports psychologists at the time, and allowed me to
- 1:14:03train with them, and during that time I learned visualization. With the sports
- 1:14:12psychologist. I would train with the team and then go in and do visualization
- 1:14:17techniques and they would have me tense in sequence certain muscles in my body and
- 1:14:25then start visualizing my routine going backwards without balking and doing it numerous times,
- 1:14:33visualizing it until I didn't have that physical tension and that physical stress in my
- 1:14:41body to where I could. It was easeful, and ever since that point,
- 1:14:47if anything came out of gymnastics, it was visualization. And I've been
- 1:14:50able to do that ever since. When I thought, oh my god,
- 1:14:55who are you to write a book? What do you know? I visualized
- 1:14:59it. I visualized meeting with my agent. I visualized the feeling attached to
- 1:15:03that. I visualized readers reading this book and highlighting it and having it cultivate
- 1:15:12their own creative courage during their own hard stevens, holding their hand through their
- 1:15:15own life pivots. And I visualized all of that. What that felt like.
- 1:15:21Did I imagine a pandemic? No? But no, But you know
- 1:15:27I still did that to this day, even starting out in the morning.
- 1:15:30Sometimes I do it in the shower when I start my day, and it's
- 1:15:33like, how do I want to feel today? How do I want to
- 1:15:35show up today? For myself? Do I need rest? Am I going
- 1:15:40too hard? Have I taken a break? Do I need to continue?
- 1:15:44Do I need to push myself here? Do I need to confront this?
- 1:15:46How do I want to confront that? How do I want it to feel
- 1:15:50if things didn't work out in my favor at the end of the day,
- 1:15:55how could have it gone? Like, how can I have peace with those
- 1:16:00unfavorable outcomes? Visualize what it would have looked like with that favorable outcome,
- 1:16:06Show up the next morning. You know what has been one of your biggest
- 1:16:12manifestations from visuals visualizing? Would it be the book? Oh? My goodness,
- 1:16:19I honestly think I don't know. I'm going to get emotional. I
- 1:16:27think it's both the book and photography. I didn't think i'd create a bone
- 1:16:31on my body until I was thirty two years old. That is so please
- 1:16:34listen to that, you guys, like, that's I love your story so
- 1:16:39much. Thank you incredible, But like I was like, I bet you
- 1:16:43can't get it in my mind, I'm like, I bet you can't.
- 1:16:45You know, let's see if you can get an architectural digest, like just
- 1:16:48setting little little milestones, little winds for myself. And then I did.
- 1:16:55And you know, multiple times, did you visualize that or was he just
- 1:16:59like an intention that you se Yeah, I was like, let's see if
- 1:17:02you can do this for yourself and for your clients. And I did,
- 1:17:08and then that happened, and then the book happened. And when I was
- 1:17:14writing my first book, I was in our old home and our previous home,
- 1:17:17and it was in one of my favorite rooms that it was just filled
- 1:17:20with light, and I would just visualize my book being on our coffee table.
- 1:17:25Every morning I would wake up and be like, there's you know,
- 1:17:28and it wasn't, but it helped motivate me every day during the harder moments
- 1:17:33of writing a book. It is not easy. But now I think what
- 1:17:36I'm visualizing is so different than those bigger moments. It's the quiet moments that
- 1:17:43I visualize. I visualize really having a home filled with peace and warmth and
- 1:17:48that is safe. You know. I visualize being full in the normalcy of
- 1:17:57my day, not craving more, really appreciating the thing that I have,
- 1:18:00not showing up and being a raging lunatic, you know, like really honing
- 1:18:04in on like my words and my intentions, and you know, being grounded
- 1:18:11in that. Not making choices for my past or too far in the future.
- 1:18:14It's making choices and really what I'm feeling in my physical body. And
- 1:18:18you know, National has changed in such a way, a really beautiful way,
- 1:18:23a cool way, like we've got such an incredible community here, but
- 1:18:26also there's an ugly side of that, a shattered side, a transactional side,
- 1:18:30and it's you know, navigating that with discernment and grace and how I
- 1:18:36want a community a sisterhood to look like, you know, and how we
- 1:18:42show up for each other. I just love how your visualizations have shifted from
- 1:18:46like goals and career and achievements to more of like how you want to feel
- 1:18:53at peace. And I think that that that right there speaks to the level
- 1:18:58of success that you've created for yourself. It's like, Okay, I've been
- 1:19:00there, I've done that, I've gotten the accolades, but like what's and
- 1:19:03those things are great, but anybody who has reached a big goal of theirs
- 1:19:08usually they say around the same thing, which is like, okay, it's
- 1:19:11fool and all, but like, yeah, it really matters. It's how
- 1:19:14you feel. Yeah, it's it's how you feel. It's having really beautiful
- 1:19:17people like yourself around, you know, around, and it's it's in the
- 1:19:24community. I mean, I really believe that. But also I'm at this
- 1:19:29season where I'm forty one and you know, I'm I'm ready to expand my
- 1:19:33family and do more private things if that makes sense. Yeah, Okay,
- 1:19:42we got some questions. Yeah, from the audience. We'll do three because
- 1:19:49I don't want to talk to you to death. But these are good ones.
- 1:19:53I love good questions. So one was how and when to add multiple
- 1:19:58things or parts to your bi business facets to your business if you are multi
- 1:20:01passionate. Oof, there's it's never too soon for that. I think having
- 1:20:10multiple revenue streams makes you a strong, multi passionate entrepreneur creator. I like
- 1:20:17to have at least four revenue streams coming in. Okay, that's creates a
- 1:20:23stable table. Yeah, not all the eggs in one basket. So my
- 1:20:28revenue streams come from my interior and architectural photography, business and service based licensing,
- 1:20:33my book deals, some brand deals. I'm trying to think, what
- 1:20:40else are you mentoring? Oh? Yeah, I do, thank you.
- 1:20:44That is that five? Or would that be the four? The one?
- 1:20:45Oh? I don't know. What did I say? I don't know.
- 1:20:47I was in interiors and architectural photography, business licensing, publishing, brand deals
- 1:20:54and co mentoring. Yeah okay, yeah, I know people are gonna be
- 1:20:58listening, like, and what I mentor on? I really love to coach
- 1:21:03women in developing six figure photography businesses and really coaching on the business side of
- 1:21:10photography. We need a course. I do one on ones right now.
- 1:21:17There. I know you're like, no, you need I love you.
- 1:21:23Who are you are? The You are the light in this in this space.
- 1:21:27I just saw you light up. You're like, no, I love
- 1:21:30doing one on ones. I'm really able. I just finished, uh,
- 1:21:34one of my dear dear lights. We did, you know, six weeks.
- 1:21:42It was beautiful and she went from I believe she was making oh my
- 1:21:46goodness, maybe like eight hundred dollars a shoot. Now she's doing eleven thousand
- 1:21:55dollars months. Oh my goodness. It's incredible. Yeah. And I she's
- 1:22:00a single mama. She is ambitious, and she is a hard hard worker,
- 1:22:05and she took to everything I said. She was coachable. Yeah,
- 1:22:10she's coachable because I've also had non coachable Oh yeah, yeah, Okay,
- 1:22:17next question, and we kind of talked on this, but if there's something
- 1:22:20else that comes to mind, if you had to start your business over,
- 1:22:23what advice would you give yourself in hindsight? Mmm, I don't know if
- 1:22:30I would change anything. I think I'm pretty hard on myself, and so
- 1:22:36I'd probably say to be a little bit more gentle with yourself. But I
- 1:22:42wouldn't change a thing. I learned the right lessons at the right time.
- 1:22:46I grew at really beautiful moments in my life, and I've had I've had
- 1:22:51a really great arc, and I've had I've been able to collaborate with some
- 1:22:56of the most talented human beings in this country. I'm just really great for
- 1:23:00all of it, the good, bad and everything in between. It all
- 1:23:03adds up. Yeah, se who you are. If there was one thing
- 1:23:08that you could go back and undo, what would that be like a decision
- 1:23:14or I would probably have said no to three of my earlier clients. Why
- 1:23:21because they are just terrible? Yeah? I think you when you are living
- 1:23:29in your light and when you are working really hard and you come to the
- 1:23:33table with great intention, there are certain people who your light will uncover their
- 1:23:39shadows. And there are also people who are so committed to misunderstanding who you
- 1:23:45are as a human and they will go forever to try to like hurt you.
- 1:23:50And I have felt that, And I just if I could undo those
- 1:23:59three work relationships a client, Really, do you want to talk about it?
- 1:24:04Oh? We can? I mean, we can talk about ways I
- 1:24:08think in any growing business you have, you will have resistance and you will
- 1:24:14have you know, some grenades, I call them grenades. But you just
- 1:24:18have to really root yourself and who you are, the service you provide,
- 1:24:23the honesty you bring, and you just fucking work through it and you go
- 1:24:28full force and you don't apologize, and you you know, and you try
- 1:24:32to communicate. But if people are going to be in your life with such
- 1:24:39resistance and committed to not hearing or listening or willing, not worth your time.
- 1:24:45And I also think too, they're such an integral part of your story
- 1:24:50as well because they suck in the moment. But now mentoring photographers and you
- 1:24:56get to help them identify these grenades. Yeah, well, and I see
- 1:25:00the red flags very easy now. If anybody's coming to me, I place
- 1:25:04ninety nine point nine percent of my projects in editorial outlets. If somebody comes
- 1:25:09to me and they're like, I want to get I immediately I want to
- 1:25:12get in this magazine. It's not about the labor of love, it's not
- 1:25:15about the process, it's not about you know, the design. It's it's
- 1:25:18a no because it's just ego filled and it's not magnetic. You know we
- 1:25:25talk about, you know, some of our most powerful manifestations and things in
- 1:25:30our life, and they came from they truly came from a service driven place,
- 1:25:34a fullness there and it wasn't a chase. Yeah. Well, this
- 1:25:41is called the All In with Ali podcast, and I'm all about like and
- 1:25:44that's something that I've preaching, something that I try and do in my own
- 1:25:46life is like, if you find something that you love, like, go
- 1:25:49all in on it. You don't do all the things, but you give
- 1:25:53it your heart and soul and your energy, and you like you are a
- 1:25:58walking embodiment of that. And I know for a fact that's like you built
- 1:26:02it and they came right and you just walked toward what you were good at
- 1:26:06and what lit you up, and it got you to where you are today,
- 1:26:10which is so incredible and key aspiring. So thank you for sharing your
- 1:26:15story with us and your lights and I've just really enjoyed this conversation. Thank
- 1:26:20you, Ali, Thank you, and thank you for holding space for these
- 1:26:25incredible conversations and for the incredible women in your community, because you are a
- 1:26:29light as well, and so I'm just I'm really grateful. Thank you.
- 1:26:31I'm grateful to thank you your prob