Latest / Pod Therapy / #365: Fear of Vomiting, Medicine for Suicidal Ideation, Friend's Low Self Esteem

Transcript

#365: Fear of Vomiting, Medicine for Suicidal Ideation, Friend's Low Self Esteem · Pod Therapy

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: The clarify yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. If you shout I'm
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: not racist at the right moment.
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: As long as you shouted, everybody's like, okay, good because
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: I was scared You're about to say something raises but
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: I clarify. Oh, it's a preamble to that statement.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: This episode is made possible by our Fiaty the dark
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: Lord himself, Jim's Fasha, and our therapy partner's Dirty b
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: and Picket from Fabulous Las Vegas and Ada. This is
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: pod therapy, real people, real problems, and real therapists. You
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: can submit your questions anonymously at pod therapy to net
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: or email its at pod therapy guys at gmail dot com.
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: And now broadcasting from the Churn. That's Jim, that's Whitney.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: I'm nicked. It's time for some pod therapy.
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: Welcome to a new year. As this episode is airing,
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: it is officially twenty twenty five. All right, this is
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: happening now, we made it, y'all. The math checks out
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: on it's time. We are what a quarter into a
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: new century?
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: Is that? How? And one month into the last year
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: of Jim's thirties. If you want to check out the
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: stuff that he wants to do before he turns forty.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: Check out the Patreon. I mean he's not going to
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: do it all. No, he's not gonna do it. No, No,
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: there's already a money chance. I feel I both have
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: a g on this. So far there is we're opening
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: up a side pool. This is just god Now, a
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: lot of listeners. I don't know what the rules they
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: wanted on the action. I think because we're in Nevada,
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: I think it's okay, have to call MITI on this.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: Get some odds. I feel like, because he's not gonna
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: do it. No, he's not going to do whatever. This
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: list is.
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: Arguably like talent restricted difficulty. There's a couple now the
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: skill is required not at all. Now you could do those.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: It's easy. You're not going to just the moment you could.
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: All right, Well, I believe in me, and so you
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: know what, because my coach Whitney has.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: A strategy, a whole pot. What's the plan here? How
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: are you going to get me to do it?
• 1:57
  Speaker 4: I'm going to invest in new gym by eyeing you.
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: Okay, that's prostitute, big as calendar. Okay, that's where you're
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: going with this?
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: Got it?
• 2:05
  Speaker 4: I'm going to buy it. We're gonna right here on
• 2:09
  Speaker 4: this wall I and we're going to write down when
• 2:12
  Speaker 4: you're doing.
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: Ah, there we go.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: I like that because then the whole year.
• 2:15
  Speaker 4: He said, there's fifty two weeks, and I was like, right,
• 2:18
  Speaker 4: you need a picture of all of it.
• 2:20
  Speaker 5: You see, as someone who's betting against Jim loves this. Yeah,
• 2:24
  Speaker 5: because he's going to come in. He's going to see
• 2:26
  Speaker 5: that calendar all the things that he hasn't done yet
• 2:28
  Speaker 5: that he was supposed to have already done, and he's
• 2:30
  Speaker 5: being defeated, and he's going to give up by Yeah,
• 2:34
  Speaker 5: I'm gonna say March yeah, Whitney.
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: Honestly, now that I'm hearing that out loud, He's right.
• 2:39
  Speaker 4: I'm already doing it, because that will feel amazing.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: Visualizing it is too much.
• 2:45
  Speaker 5: March sixth, It will be physically impossible for list.
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: By March the six will no longer be. It will
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: be nomadically eliminated from the playoffs.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: That's it. We will already be into our March madness back. Yeah,
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: but you will also lose. I do very well because
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: I bet the I had.
• 3:05
  Speaker 5: A driving thought tonight and I want you guys to
• 3:09
  Speaker 5: tell me if you think this is uh better than
• 3:12
  Speaker 5: Jim or worse than Jim, because, as we all agree,
• 3:15
  Speaker 5: Jim is the worst.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: Driver on the on the show. Yeah, I have the
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: worst records, That's right. Jim does things like cuts. He
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: cuts through parking lots, goes through gas stations. And this
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: keep in mind, this is all of us remembering Whitney
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: stole a car.
• 3:29
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and Jim is still the worst.
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: I went there, I believe. Yeah, I did get that
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: ticket for that. Yeah, so that's pretty high up.
• 3:39
  Speaker 5: So there is something that I do that I want
• 3:42
  Speaker 5: to know if it's worse than Jim. I think it
• 3:46
  Speaker 5: might be potentially worse than I think it's one of
• 3:49
  Speaker 5: those things where Jim's is more likely to happen, but
• 3:52
  Speaker 5: if mine happens, it's worse, Okay. And that is when
• 3:57
  Speaker 5: I'm getting gas at the gas station, I put the
• 4:02
  Speaker 5: gas nozzle in the in the vehicle, and then I
• 4:04
  Speaker 5: leave the vehicle to go inside the gas station the
• 4:08
  Speaker 5: car running.
• 4:09
  Speaker 6: No are you smoking?
• 4:11
  Speaker 4: I thought you were going to say the car running.
• 4:13
  Speaker 7: I'm always smoking, But no, I leave the I I
• 4:20
  Speaker 7: I initiate the gas going into the vehicle, and then
• 4:24
  Speaker 7: I abandoned the vehicle to go inside the building.
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: Let me tell you about that. I did that my
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: whole adult life until about eight years ago, where one
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: happy day I was filling up a what did we have?
• 4:38
  Speaker 6: It was a Hyundai accent that.
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: Doesn't matter at all. Yeah, and uh, I put the
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: thing in. I click, it's locked in.
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: It's going and I go inside and I'm really taking
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: my time trying to find like a coke that I
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: wanted or whatever.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: The coldest coke.
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: Cold's not gonna I want the from the back. So
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: then I go outside to my horror. Uh, the fucking
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: gas is just blowing out of my gas tank and
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: has covered the parking lot. It never cut they didn't
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: come out, didn't cut off. Oh so it filled up.
• 5:13
  Speaker 8: The tank kept pouring overflowed to just overflowed into the
• 5:18
  Speaker 8: parking lot full strength.
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: It's coming out as fast as the pump will allow it.
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: And I was taking my happy fucking time. Yea, the
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: ground is covered. So I go running out there, killed
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: the tank, get the thing put in there. Yeah, I
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: go running inside.
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: Did you put out people? Yeah? Yeah, before I ran
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: out to the parking lot.
• 5:38
  Speaker 3: So I go running inside to tell the people they
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: are horrified, like they're they're sure I did this on purpose,
• 5:44
  Speaker 3: and they're like, oh my god, like are you trying
• 5:46
  Speaker 3: to start this place on fire?
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: What the fuck?
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: And I'm like, no, no, no, it was an accident.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: Man.
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: I was like, remember I was the guy begging for
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: the coke in the back of the bridge and so
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: like like coming out there. But it was dangerous, man,
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: because obviously that immediately becomes like an environmental problem and
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: like they have to like safety planet, so they shut
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: on the whole fucking thing to like get out there
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  Speaker 3: and push it away or.
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  Speaker 5: I think, I think something like that's gonna have to
• 6:05
  Speaker 5: happen for me to stop this.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that that scared me straight after that. I've
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: never done good thing. Gasoline is cheap. This is a
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: while ago, so I mean not only but here's the thing,
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: like it was dangerous. But then they had to clean
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: that up, which means they had to close a lot
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: of those plumps, which is now lost revenue.
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and I left because I felt bad, and I'm
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: like I'm in the way, like you get my car
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: out of here, you gotta go.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: You guys got it from there.
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: I was scared to start my cars drenched in gas
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: like this is okay, Like can my exhaust start this fire?
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: Like? What is this? So we'll find out the answer
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: is maybe. Yeah, So I just kay, I drove away.
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: I Jacob have also done this. I've done this many
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: times just because there's something I gotta grab inside and
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: so it's easier, it's it's fast because the other thing
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: coming here.
• 6:59
  Speaker 5: Tonight, I stopped put gas in the car and then
• 7:03
  Speaker 5: I was like, I'm gonna get some ice to go
• 7:05
  Speaker 5: in and have ice for the recording.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: And so I went in and got ice. That's what's
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: on my mind.
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't see anything wrong, socially responsible, really all
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: right things.
• 7:13
  Speaker 4: I've never done it, not even once started it in.
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: Your every power, she's a liar, dare She's a liar.
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: That's does it twice a day everything.
• 7:31
  Speaker 4: You're welcome, Ubbie Downer.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: So you've never you've never done this thought of it
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: or because you're paranoid.
• 7:41
  Speaker 4: I'm like, someone's gonna come steal the gas. Why, I
• 7:45
  Speaker 4: don't know why I think to do that.
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: That's why I stopped doing it, not because I was
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: worried about safety or anything. Because that that shut off
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: thing is pretty reliant.
• 7:56
  Speaker 4: I wouldn't worry about that.
• 7:57
  Speaker 5: That's a that's a gas overflow.
• 8:02
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: No, My concern is that I leave and then somebody
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: pulls up on the other side of that and then
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: grabs it, fills their car up. It would have been burgled.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly, burgled.
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: Burgled.
• 8:17
  Speaker 3: We don't use that word, does not use enough. I
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: feel like weled. Oh no, wereled.
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: I was burgled.
• 8:28
  Speaker 6: Geez, that's terrible.
• 8:30
  Speaker 4: That's like when I learned. Maniacal is like somebody acting
• 8:34
  Speaker 4: like a maniac. That's a real word.
• 8:38
  Speaker 5: Sometimes they burgle people, Yeah, manical, maniacal, maniac man to
• 8:45
  Speaker 5: arrest them.
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: Anyway, thanks for joining us. This show has nothing to
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: do with any of the things you've heard so far.
• 8:50
  Speaker 3: If it's your first time discovering pot therapy, we do
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: question an answer here with a whole lot of comedy
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: and try to make it palatable. So we sprinkle sugar
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: all over the medicine and hopefully it goes down a
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: little bit easier.
• 9:01
  Speaker 6: That's what she said.
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: The first question we have today is about disordered eating.
• 9:05
  Speaker 3: It's from our old pal Froyog. Hello pop therapy people,
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: it's your old pal Froyog. I'm writing for my wife
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: this time content warning disordered eating and nausea. Here's some background.
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: Her mother recently fell ill. Mom lives with her mother,
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: my wife's granny, and our oldest son. She's been dealing
• 9:24
  Speaker 3: with several health related problems at once over the last year,
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: but the latest major issue involved increased stomach and digestion problems.
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: She recently spent a little over a month in and
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: out of the hospital trying to determine why she was
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: unable to keep food down, until the doctor landed on
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: gastritis as the primary culprit. When in the hospital, she'd
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: take ivy fluids and stay until she was able to
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: eat something substantial and keep it down. Then she returns
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: home and she's okay for a day or two until
• 9:53
  Speaker 3: she once again develops nausea and vomiting. It's slowing our
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: progress and recovering from the malnutrition brought on by being
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: unable to eat. We suspect she's developed an eating disorder
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: at seventy three years old. From the circumstances. We fear
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: that she's gotten there by growing a psychosomatic aversion to food.
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: We've obviously we're obviously very concerned for her as She
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: struggles with this as it's compounding depression and anxiety. She
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: spends a lot of time inactive and she's reported anxiety
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: attacks when driving due to a metophobia fear of vomiting,
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: and Carrie's vomit bags with her as a precaution. It's
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: clearly pathologically affecting her life. The question is what strategies
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: could we employ to try and direct her toward therapy.
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: We suspect she's likely to be resistant to the idea,
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: but we want to see her feel better and get
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: back to feeling something like normal. Are there tactics we
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: can use to help her or ourselves in the meantime,
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: or I'm sorry, to help her ourselves in the meantime.
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: We'd appreciate any insight you can provide here. We love
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: Mom and want her to feel her best. Thanks, y'all,
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: love what you do. Justin aka froyog.
• 11:00
  Speaker 4: Oh my gosh. I have a quick, funny little story
• 11:04
  Speaker 4: on a girl's trip.
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, let's let's hear the pitch.
• 11:08
  Speaker 4: I guess funny is used loosely here, but so far quick? Yes,
• 11:14
  Speaker 4: So on this girl's trip, we were all in the
• 11:17
  Speaker 4: car together. There's like five or six of us, and uh,
• 11:20
  Speaker 4: one of our friends started feeling sick and I didn't
• 11:23
  Speaker 4: realize it. She wasn't making a big deal out of it.
• 11:26
  Speaker 4: So just sitting in her chair, she like brought up
• 11:28
  Speaker 4: a bag and just like throws up into the bag,
• 11:30
  Speaker 4: just like and like you couldn't hear it, you couldn't
• 11:33
  Speaker 4: like see it was just very subtle, like, oh my god,
• 11:35
  Speaker 4: you're just getting sick right here. So she like throws
• 11:38
  Speaker 4: up in the plastic bag. But then you're we're driving
• 11:40
  Speaker 4: the car. We're in like San Francisco, like on the
• 11:42
  Speaker 4: highway going toward there.
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: If you tell me the windows don't roll down.
• 11:46
  Speaker 4: The windows do roll down. But this was hilarious because
• 11:49
  Speaker 4: she I'd never seen this poor She rolled the window down,
• 11:52
  Speaker 4: sticks the bag out, and rolls it up, yes, to
• 11:57
  Speaker 4: pinch it on the outside the personally, Yeah, that is amazing.
• 12:03
  Speaker 4: So then we just cruise the rest of the way
• 12:04
  Speaker 4: and like the bag doesn't have to stay in the
• 12:06
  Speaker 4: car because we couldn't pull over. No, it's closed. Yeah yeah,
• 12:15
  Speaker 4: And I was like, that is so fucking smart. I
• 12:17
  Speaker 4: would have never thought about it. I'm like, she's obviously
• 12:19
  Speaker 4: vomited in a car before, and yeah, that's my advice
• 12:25
  Speaker 4: for your mother, just bring.
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: This back.
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: Not literate, right, Yeah, you could.
• 12:33
  Speaker 4: Have tied it up and tossed it out the window. Yeah,
• 12:35
  Speaker 4: she's like, no, wait till we stop. I'm like, oh
• 12:37
  Speaker 4: my god, that was so smart. And then I also think,
• 12:39
  Speaker 4: what did people think driving by us? Like what is
• 12:41
  Speaker 4: this bag?
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: San Francisco. They've seen a lot more ship on the ground.
• 12:46
  Speaker 4: Yes, yes, vomit bag. Anyway, that's what I thought.
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: I know, a vomit bag. Would they say it?
• 12:54
  Speaker 4: Man disordered eating starting in your seventies, But it sounds
• 12:57
  Speaker 4: like coming from that somatic, like psych thematic, It's like
• 13:01
  Speaker 4: the secondary problem is becoming those disorders.
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: This doesn't get brought up enough on the show or
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: in general. And I'm really glad for this question because,
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: like when it comes to anxiety and like body mind relationship,
• 13:14
  Speaker 3: your digestion, your stomach is such a big part of it.
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: A lot of people have heard that phrase like all
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: the stomach is the second mind or whatever, but actually
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: a lot of people with OCD, yeah, and with anxiety,
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: that is their fear is I'm going to experience some
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: kind of like nausea or like I'm gonna throw up
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: and then I'm scared to go places because they don't
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: want to like do this in front.
• 13:36
  Speaker 6: Of the people.
• 13:37
  Speaker 3: I'm things, And that's it's really tough because they get
• 13:40
  Speaker 3: these intrusive thoughts and then they obsess over it of like,
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: oh no, I'm good, and then it's a self fulfilling prophecy.
• 13:44
  Speaker 5: Also, if I thought I was gonna go by the way,
• 13:46
  Speaker 5: if I if I thought I was going to go
• 13:47
  Speaker 5: somewhere and then vomit, right, I would also not go
• 13:50
  Speaker 5: to those places.
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: You don't go anywhere, So it becomes a goorophobic. Oh,
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: I get it.
• 13:54
  Speaker 6: And it is psychosomatic because like you think back.
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: To like if you've seen that movie Inside Out, you know,
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: the little girl and her like first emotions, Disgust is
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: one of the first fundamental emotions that we know humans develop,
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: and so this is very, very difficult when your mind
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: body relationship gets all twisted up and you start to
• 14:09
  Speaker 3: like trick yourself into disgust in an anticipatory response.
• 14:14
  Speaker 6: Man, that's a bitch and a half to unwind.
• 14:16
  Speaker 3: Because historically, and I'm interested in what y'all would say
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: to this, but historically I think it ends up being
• 14:21
  Speaker 3: exposure therapy. Like I think you end up having to
• 14:23
  Speaker 3: like encounter things that frighten you and allow yourself and
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: give yourself permission to experience the discomfort. But it's ironic
• 14:30
  Speaker 3: because like that's that's a horrible thing to go through.
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: And then a person's like, no, I've literally been hospitalized
• 14:35
  Speaker 3: because I cannot keep things down so like, and that's
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: a whole other thing, because gastritis is a full on
• 14:41
  Speaker 3: independent medical diagnosis, and that's also a culprit here. So
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: like this mind body relationship has so many layers to.
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: I agree with Jim. I think Justin needs to be
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: vomited on.
• 14:50
  Speaker 6: That's what it is. Yeah, I think that'd be good
• 14:53
  Speaker 6: for him.
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: Put it on the list vomit vomited number four, vomited on.
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: Do that tonight, while not tonight it's a long flight. No,
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: it is, like you know, it's like a compounding issue,
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: right because it's if you imagine like the the issue
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: of the nausea being just kind of this this ball
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: that you have to manage, you know, and it's the
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: size of a softball. It's inconvenient, it's tough to carry around.
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: I don't like carrying around gets kind of in the way.
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: But then you have this fear and anxiety that you
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: put this small ball in and now this is a
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: huge ball, and now I've got to carry this. And
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: I think a big part of the therapy, like exposure therapy,
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: is right now it sounds like Nick's about to break
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: into a juggling watch.
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: Clearly queuing up to juggle is discussed with one and
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: there's these different balls.
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: There's an egg.
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: Sit down, mister president.
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: But really, like that's kind of what therapy does, is
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: that it helps you kind of get rid of the
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: bigger one right to kind of manage it, like, Okay,
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: this other piece, this is manageable. We can deal with this.
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: As far as what you know, what can Justin do?
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: What can the family do? I mean, I think I
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: think just help her find a therapist. I think that's
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: the connector to the therapist. You're not going to do
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: exposure therapy yourself, you know, it's not anything that you
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: can really do. You can be supportive, you can be
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: involved in in uh mom's mom's therapy and and help
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: out that way.
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: So Justin is asking us, I think, you know also
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: to reflect on that question, which is like how do
• 16:45
  Speaker 3: I get you know, an elderly member of our family
• 16:48
  Speaker 3: who's going through so much and and it clearly has
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: such a physical cause that they can see. But then
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: how do I get our grandma into care right? How
• 16:57
  Speaker 3: do I get her mom?
• 16:58
  Speaker 6: In this case?
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: How do I get person to go and talk to
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: a therapist? And on the show, we've talked a lot
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: in the past about like different presentations of different ways
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: that you can help them. In my experience, these cases
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: are a lot harder because they already have a physical
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: smoking gun, and so they can often feel not heard.
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: And when you come to them and go, hey, this
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: is in your head, and they're like, f you, it's not.
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: I've literally had IV stuck in my body. Do you
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: think I like being in the Hospital's.
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: Like no, no, no, no, no no no, that is not
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: in your head.
• 17:28
  Speaker 3: That is real and everything is mental and our mind
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: is making this worse. And just in one possible note
• 17:37
  Speaker 3: that I would throw at you, the way that I
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: would present to a person like this as I'm talking
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: to them into therapy is I would start by validating
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: the physical, but then agree try to help them agree
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: with me. And this comes from motivational interviewing. Try to
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: help them agree with me that the physical experience has
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: been so emotional and so frightening, and when you're experiencing
• 17:59
  Speaker 3: that kind of like life and death level fear, not
• 18:01
  Speaker 3: being able to eat, being afraid for your physical future,
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: feeling the fatigue, feeling so powerless over something so basic,
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: when you can get them to start there where they're like, yes,
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: it has been so hard, and like just agreeing with
• 18:12
  Speaker 3: you and opening up about that, usually you can take
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: that and leverage that toward therapy and say, you know
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: you're carrying so much fear. I worry that that's like
• 18:21
  Speaker 3: creating the shroud over you, and it's maybe even gonna
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: make it one more obstacle to you taking the right
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: steps at the right time. In agreement with your physician,
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: and I want to make sure that we remove any
• 18:33
  Speaker 3: mental blocks that could slow down your full recovery and
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: maybe not following doctor's orders if they want you to
• 18:39
  Speaker 3: start eating yogurt or something like that, if you can't
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: follow that because there's some mental blocks or you've experienced
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: much trauma and fear, you know, Grandma, I worry for you.
• 18:49
  Speaker 3: I don't want that for you, and I'm hoping that
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: you're gonna be willing to talk to somebody who specializes
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: in removing those obstacles so we can help you do
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: a full physical recovery like that would be probably my pity.
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: Try to steer her toward.
• 19:01
  Speaker 4: Help well, and especially if she's isolating more and maybe
• 19:04
  Speaker 4: not getting out as much, it can be like, hey,
• 19:06
  Speaker 4: this is a great way to feel like you're a
• 19:08
  Speaker 4: little bit social and somebody who's there to just listen
• 19:10
  Speaker 4: and hear you kind of express it more as your yeah,
• 19:16
  Speaker 4: mother in law taking advantage of it, of somebody listening
• 19:18
  Speaker 4: to her, rather than yes, you need to be fixed,
• 19:22
  Speaker 4: yeah right, and really addressing the anxiety even though you
• 19:25
  Speaker 4: justin't know from listening to this amazing podcast that they
• 19:29
  Speaker 4: are all connected, but yeah, just not. You don't have
• 19:38
  Speaker 4: to address that for her. That's something hopefully if she
• 19:41
  Speaker 4: finds a good therapist, if she agrees to show up
• 19:43
  Speaker 4: and go, they will help guide and navigate that. You
• 19:46
  Speaker 4: don't have to make that connection for her. It's just
• 19:49
  Speaker 4: trying to get her there to say, man, you seem
• 19:51
  Speaker 4: so stressed, and there are people who are professionals who
• 19:55
  Speaker 4: are able to hear that and like help guide you
• 19:57
  Speaker 4: through how to manage your stress, Like something that rather
• 20:00
  Speaker 4: than but I just.
• 20:01
  Speaker 3: Want to acknowledge this is such a uniquely challenging part
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: of OCD and anxiety. Like, there's a great book that
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: I've recommended in the past called Overcoming Intrusive and Unwanted Thoughts.
• 20:13
  Speaker 4: I was from you hear what that's about?
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and you know it's a really great book. But
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: what's tough about that is that even whenever you're working
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: on this, when you have a physical connection to the anxiety,
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: like you your fear that the intrusive thought is what
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: if I throw up? And ironically you can make that
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: happen with your thoughts, whereas other kinds of intrusive thoughts,
• 20:36
  Speaker 3: like you might have a patient that says, I have
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: this intrusive thought of like, uh, I don't know, like
• 20:41
  Speaker 3: what if I stab this guy with a fork. And
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: it's like, you're not involuntarily going to do that. You
• 20:47
  Speaker 3: can't think or fear that enough that you could involuntarily
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: make yourself do it, so but it feels very real
• 20:53
  Speaker 3: and like part of how we help challenge that thought
• 20:56
  Speaker 3: is by helping somebody understand like that that you can't
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: involuntary really do that, but inducing vomiting, Yeah, your body
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: has the ability to do that to save your life.
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: If you're if your little village, your tribe, you know,
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: discovers that you've eaten something toxic and you're just not
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: vomiting it up, but other people are. You can make
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: yourself do it by just knowingly agreeing that you should
• 21:19
  Speaker 3: be able to and you can't.
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: I once got food poisoning from raising canes.
• 21:25
  Speaker 6: Don't don't slander raising can raising canes.
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: Oh it's such a good restaurant. I used to love it,
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: But I can go back. I got, No, I got,
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: so I get. But here's here's the point that I'm
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: getting at. Is like I got food poisoning, and I
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: was throwing up every hour on the hour, for twenty
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: four hours straight. And it got to a point where,
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: even weeks later, if I just thought about that chicken, yeah, yeah,
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't sick and I would throw up just thinking
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: about it. But not so. No, No, I've.
• 21:55
  Speaker 5: Those delicious chicken fingers now with the light breading on
• 21:59
  Speaker 5: them and the sauce, and actually, fine, yeah it sounds delicious.
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: You give you enough time, you'll come back. You'll always
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: come back to get you.
• 22:08
  Speaker 3: I think a lot of us have that experience where
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: like there was something that didn't agree with you as
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: a kid, and like it just haunts you to this day.
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: Like lasagna for me and I'll eat all. You know,
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: lasagna is just made of all the same ship as
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: everything else in Italy. Like it's a spaghetti and lasagna
• 22:21
  Speaker 3: probably the same thing, and it's just different shapes, like
• 22:24
  Speaker 3: you know, like I don't I'm sure they're all the same,
• 22:27
  Speaker 3: but like if you shape it in the lasagna shape,
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: I don't want it.
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: They're all the same.
• 22:37
  Speaker 3: They're all fucking a bread shaped into a noodle and
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: then like some kind of cheese and some kind of
• 22:42
  Speaker 3: sauce and it just they're just different shapes, that's all
• 22:45
  Speaker 3: this is. But yeah, if you shape it in the lasagna,
• 22:48
  Speaker 3: want to?
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: I mean, if you had spaghetti, don't bother with there's.
• 22:53
  Speaker 6: Probably some kind of extra cheese.
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: You ever had pizza. They're not different, it's different shapes.
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: But yeah, I don't want to.
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, then you don't need wine. You don't need wine. Okay,
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: it's the same thing, all right, you're trying to teach me. Yes,
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I can probably turn this down. I'm
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: adding that Jim has had it been to Lake Mead,
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: All right, then you don't need to go to the
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: ocean never again.
• 23:23
  Speaker 4: Have you taken a bath lately?
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: Water? Water? I mean, come on, you can disclosure be fine?
• 23:32
  Speaker 6: Yeah, so, I mean it is a very physical thing.
• 23:34
  Speaker 3: And yeah, that's what makes this so difficult is because
• 23:37
  Speaker 3: among all intrusive thoughts, and among like O c D
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: thoughts were usually part of the treatment is to help
• 23:43
  Speaker 3: somebody disentangle the thought from a reality or cause and effect.
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: This one, you can create a cause and effect. And
• 23:50
  Speaker 3: it's very difficult, especially when somebody has an underlying medical
• 23:52
  Speaker 3: diagnosis of gesstritis. It's like, well, how do I know
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: when my body is trying to talk to me? And
• 23:58
  Speaker 3: when I need to notice my body's signals and not
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: feed it because it's sensitive right now and my body's
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: in disagreement versus that is all in my head and
• 24:07
  Speaker 3: in the loop. The circle between the mind and the
• 24:10
  Speaker 3: body is so difficult to get intuitive about with a
• 24:13
  Speaker 3: patient at any age.
• 24:15
  Speaker 6: It is very, very dangerous.
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: And I do agree with your take on kind of
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: the motivational interviewing piece, and that when you're dealing with
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: somebody who you suspect has some sort of psychosomatic experience
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: or you know people I know people in my life
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: that you know, I think that they're going to have
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: a stroke, They're going to have a heart attack. One.
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: They're always concerned like, oh my god, I think I've
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: got cancer, right, I think I've got Like, no, you
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: just have a.
• 24:47
  Speaker 3: Your anxiety could No, that's that's our old fortunate kindergarten.
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: I got you, Thank you, Thank you Kindergarten. Top episode
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: of Who Is and What Does It Do? Yeah, that's good.
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: I have a few. I have a few sneers. I
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: give them tucked away just in case must so. I
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: think it's so good. The thing the point is with
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: that is you can't you can't convince somebody. You can't
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: just you can't just say well it's not come on, yeah,
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: you kind of have to yes, and that situation and
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: just like, yeah, you are really experienced. This is a
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: real thing that you did experience. And on top of that, yeah,
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: how can a therapist, you know, and even kind of
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: taking the approach of like if if we were to
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: use a scale, and what you're experiencing right now is
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: one hundred, you're at one hundred. If visiting a therapist
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: and helping you deal with feelings. If that could bring
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: you down to a ninety, would it not still be
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: worth it? That's exactly it, you know, And you can
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: kind of phrase it that way. Yeah, And I love
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: that approaching it because I would. I think we don't
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: use that that move enough because a lot of times
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: people have to they feel like they have to complete
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: agree that therapy is going to be this cure all
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: or it's going to be some magic and especially if
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: they know that your pro mental health and they're not
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: trying to rain on your parade or whatever, but like
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: they have that doubt. But like therapists are very comfortable
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: with that doubt, and a lot of people think we're
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: not okay with it. It's like, oh no, we don't
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: need you to be a fucking believer when you walk in,
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: Like it's fine. We will just get to that point
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: where we agree, like exactly how you said, Hey, sounds
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: like you're at a very severe level. If I could
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: get you an hour a day less suffering, is that
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: worth it to you?
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: And it's like, well, yeah, it'd be fucking great, And
• 26:30
  Speaker 3: it's like awesome, I think that's achievable, Like I that's it.
• 26:34
  Speaker 3: I'm not here to cheer your gastritis. That's real that
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: you have a whole different position for that. But I
• 26:39
  Speaker 3: really want to make his work easier by helping you
• 26:42
  Speaker 3: kind of take away some of the mental barrier as well.
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: That's it.
• 26:44
  Speaker 6: Let's see if we can make it ten percent better.
• 26:46
  Speaker 3: So I love that those are some great lines hopefully
• 26:49
  Speaker 3: justin that you know are influential. That that helped, like
• 26:52
  Speaker 3: you know, start to nudge this in the right direction.
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: But a really tough case.
• 26:56
  Speaker 4: Older adults are very it's so tough.
• 26:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's challenging well, and it's really tough too because
• 27:01
  Speaker 3: like a lot of times if you have OCD and
• 27:04
  Speaker 3: you have these kinds of intrusive thoughts, a lot of
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: times we need the medicine to make it a fair fight.
• 27:09
  Speaker 3: And so like we're gonna end up going pretty hard
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: on like SSRIs, it's usually gonna up being pretty high dose.
• 27:13
  Speaker 3: But then like does that disagree with the gastro intestinals
• 27:16
  Speaker 3: and like does that cause irritation? Like I don't know,
• 27:19
  Speaker 3: and like and like you're having to ingest.
• 27:20
  Speaker 6: Something to get there, and so it is complicated.
• 27:24
  Speaker 3: But this is why we need a full team approach
• 27:26
  Speaker 3: and in complicated problems require multi level wrap around solutions.
• 27:31
  Speaker 3: My hope would be that your family member is open
• 27:34
  Speaker 3: minded to that, like, we need a team approach because
• 27:37
  Speaker 3: what you're going through affects every part of your life.
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: So yeah, maybe that's the winning argument. But good luck
• 27:44
  Speaker 3: with this, buddy, and thank you for all the years
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: of love and support to the show Man. We appreciate you.
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: We're here for you. Keep us updated.
• 27:50
  Speaker 6: Man, let us know on the backside if we can
• 27:51
  Speaker 6: be helpful real quick.
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: Your family. You've got your your wife's brothers, yeah, known
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: as what what do you call them? Brothers in law?
• 28:03
  Speaker 6: Dun dundum.
• 28:06
  Speaker 4: For you.
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: That's that's just for you. I get yelled about this.
• 28:10
  Speaker 8: We were talking about you the other day because we
• 28:12
  Speaker 8: were at the bar and I said something like on
• 28:14
  Speaker 8: my brother in law's and like all three of you
• 28:17
  Speaker 8: fucking shouted me down, and I was like.
• 28:19
  Speaker 2: Is Royal like messaging you guys? Like, are you guys
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: like on patrols?
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: Keep an eye out?
• 28:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah, keep an eye on him, guys.
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: So just nobuddy, your work is being done by others.
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: We're gonna take a quick break and when we come back,
• 28:31
  Speaker 3: we're talking about medicine for suicidal feelings. You're listening to
• 28:35
  Speaker 3: Pop Therapy.
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: Today's episode is brought to you by Robert Brownie Jr.
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: Man's Kayla Lansbury, Kevin Chamberlaine, Ben Stanley, Adam Hathaway, Dan
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: Martin Live, Hey yo, and Andrew Langmead. And if you
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: would like to sponsor the show, you can become a
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: therap producer by going to patreon dot com slash therapy.
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: All right, this week's trivia, thank you too, Sean Calipos
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: Calipus feel right? Uh he sent us. Sean sent us
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: some some trivia. I like it. H And this one's
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: all about wood. Oh good, Yeah, he's gonna win. Yeah. Okay,
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: there's a lot of there's there's four different categories here,
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: and I think here's how to do this. I'm gonna
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: let you. I'm gonna let you pick your category, all right,
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: all right, so we'll just go in order. Our categories
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: are hard wood, Oh there we go, goodwood on old
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: wood okay, and exotic wood. All right. Who wants to
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: go first?
• 29:38
  Speaker 3: I'd like to go first place?
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: Okay, thank you.
• 29:40
  Speaker 6: I was looking for that.
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, since we're volunteering, give me as you asked, I'm
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: jumping on the opportunity. All r give me goodwood, good wood.
• 29:48
  Speaker 6: Yeah, give me some that goodwood.
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: Jim wants goodwood, Yeah, I do this. Versatile wood is
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: widely used for its fragrant aroma, resistance to rot, and
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: is a natural insect telling I know this one.
• 30:01
  Speaker 6: I think there options or can I are?
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: But you can shoot from the hip.
• 30:04
  Speaker 6: I'm gonna take. I'm gonna shoot for two. I want cedar.
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: It is there there something? Can you be more specific?
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: Don't do this to me?
• 30:18
  Speaker 9: Fuck you, no way, I'm gonna I'm gonna give you
• 30:28
  Speaker 9: the two points.
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: Take those two. All of the options were different types
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: of cedar. I would make you specify, but there's only
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: one but specifically Eastern red cedar, which is what you
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: were going to say anything. I thought it was down
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: over there, all right, Whitney, you want hardwood, you want goodwood?
• 30:52
  Speaker 4: Obviously the hardwood?
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: Okay, after dark?
• 30:56
  Speaker 4: What is the hardest one?
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: I want raging? What is the softest wood?
• 31:04
  Speaker 6: That turned.
• 31:06
  Speaker 4: All the way for options?
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, A snake wood, B sugar pine, C quaking
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: aspen or D balsa.
• 31:18
  Speaker 6: Quaking aspen sounds like an.
• 31:20
  Speaker 5: Organic or e Peter, when you wear that one night gown.
• 31:25
  Speaker 4: One night, right. I was gonna guess pine, and I
• 31:33
  Speaker 4: don't even know if that's right. It's total guests, so
• 31:34
  Speaker 4: I guess I'll go with the pine option.
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: Sugar pine.
• 31:37
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that one.
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: It is balsa wood. Balsa wood a lot in our
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: industrial tech class in high school. Oh yeah, build houses
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: and bridges all sused to make model planes out of
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: balsa wood. That's very light. L s A A.
• 31:58
  Speaker 6: Okay.
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: Do you like hardwood? Do you like goodwood? Do you
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: like old wood? Or do you like exotic wood?
• 32:06
  Speaker 6: You know what he's going.
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: I don't have a single ship. Oh exotic, the exotic.
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: From nineteen oh six through the early two thousands, this
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: wood was used to insulate high voltage feeder wires that
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: power the trolley system in San Francisco.
• 32:25
  Speaker 6: He's lived there, he should exotic wood.
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: Ah, I wat shoot from the hip.
• 32:29
  Speaker 3: Okay, go for two. Okay, redwood? Oh yeah, that makes
• 32:34
  Speaker 3: sense right because they're wow in redwood.
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying.
• 32:37
  Speaker 5: Yeah, California red woodn't.
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: Exactly be exotic. It's wood. It's pretty exotic, though it
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: was pretty exotic.
• 32:49
  Speaker 4: Exotic it was. It was like Amazon, Brainforce.
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: Vita, Jesus, Vita Okay, Ligma, your options Sean Brazilian olive wood,
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: Ligma Vita, iron wood or Tique spec.
• 33:13
  Speaker 5: Well, on the upside, I wouldn't have gotten that. If
• 33:16
  Speaker 5: I had gotten the option.
• 33:19
  Speaker 3: You went down with confidence, and you know what, that's
• 33:22
  Speaker 3: the way you stand by my answer.
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: I agree.
• 33:23
  Speaker 3: I still think you're right special. Can you see these answers?
• 33:27
  Speaker 3: Can you play?
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: I can play?
• 33:28
  Speaker 6: Let's have you do one?
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: Okay, Well, I'm gonna go with the hard wood obviously,
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: what is the hardest wood. Yeah, I feel like I'm
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: gonna go I'm gonna go for sins. What I'm gonna
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: go for two? I feel like it's an ash. I
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: feel like ash and ash. You think as.
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: End up being like hickory or something. Hickory beats the
• 33:56
  Speaker 3: hickory Australian bull oak.
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: Okay, that kingwood. That's the best wood. Iron wood, gotta
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: be it. Australian bull oak. Also not ash, is what
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: you're saying? Yeah? Yeah, out interesting. So I'm.
• 34:20
  Speaker 6: A lot right now.
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: Because we are spiritually correct.
• 34:26
  Speaker 3: Yes, I can't argue with That's.
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: The math that I took in college.
• 34:32
  Speaker 3: So that adds up all right, we got medicine for
• 34:35
  Speaker 3: suicidal feelings from Anonymous. Hyall, sorry for such a down
• 34:39
  Speaker 3: or question, but I need help. I have depression. I
• 34:42
  Speaker 3: take meds for it. I take seventy five milligrams of
• 34:45
  Speaker 3: effectsore e R, which means extended release. That was recently
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: up to that amount in the last six months. Lately,
• 34:52
  Speaker 3: I've been feeling down a bit, and when I do,
• 34:55
  Speaker 3: I just feel like the only way for it to
• 34:57
  Speaker 3: go away is if I weren't a lot anymore. I'm
• 35:01
  Speaker 3: not exactly having suicidal thoughts, but along those lines, my
• 35:05
  Speaker 3: medications were prescribed by my primary care physician, so I
• 35:09
  Speaker 3: don't actually have anyone I talked to about this. If
• 35:13
  Speaker 3: I were to find someone, should I get a therapist
• 35:16
  Speaker 3: or a psychologist? And honestly, what's the difference? I know
• 35:20
  Speaker 3: I need help, but money is also an issue. I
• 35:23
  Speaker 3: honestly think without help I might not last another month.
• 35:27
  Speaker 3: Thanks Anonymous. And by the way, Anonymous wrote us an update.
• 35:30
  Speaker 3: This letter had come in a while back, and then
• 35:32
  Speaker 3: a little time had passed and they got in touch
• 35:34
  Speaker 3: with us on discord and kind of kept us in
• 35:36
  Speaker 3: the loop because obviously it was a little bit of
• 35:37
  Speaker 3: a tough question. But writer did send us an update
• 35:40
  Speaker 3: and said, hey, let us know that they are okay.
• 35:43
  Speaker 3: That they noticed that when they wrote that letter, they
• 35:45
  Speaker 3: were going through kind of a three or four day
• 35:48
  Speaker 3: just spiral and they were at a really low place.
• 35:50
  Speaker 6: That's when they were experiencing that.
• 35:52
  Speaker 3: They did want the audience to know that not only
• 35:55
  Speaker 3: are they on the other side of that, they now
• 35:57
  Speaker 3: know more about themselves to not trust that when spirals happening,
• 36:01
  Speaker 3: it will pass.
• 36:02
  Speaker 6: It may last up to a week.
• 36:04
  Speaker 3: But they did want to let us know that was
• 36:05
  Speaker 3: an important lesson for them as well, because those thoughts
• 36:08
  Speaker 3: were pretty dark at that time.
• 36:09
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but we follow up.
• 36:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah, which we always appreciate. Yeah, that's always good stuff.
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: And this is a good question to have in here anyway,
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: for anyone who may be going through something similar but
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: has not written in because this can be really confusing,
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: especially for people who aren't very familiar with the field
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: when we start talking about things like therapists, psychologist, all
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: of this stuff. Who prescribes the meds, who doesn't? Who
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: do you talk to? I would say, first off, then
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: the main thing is, regardless of what the title is,
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: whoever prescribed the medication. You always can reach out to
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: that person. If you're having side effects, reach out to
• 36:48
  Speaker 1: that person right away and let them know.
• 36:51
  Speaker 4: I yeah, absolutely, I think it's a little more challenging.
• 36:55
  Speaker 4: This is maybe just a personal opinion, but it's more
• 36:58
  Speaker 4: challenging when it's like u CEP your primary care physician.
• 37:03
  Speaker 4: My experiences you have to like call an office and
• 37:06
  Speaker 4: like gental appointment, and uh, the experience I've had and
• 37:11
  Speaker 4: that my friends have had different people with a psychiatrist
• 37:15
  Speaker 4: or a nurse practitioner who specializes in psychiatry, they will
• 37:23
  Speaker 4: typically be available for follow up, like you can kind
• 37:26
  Speaker 4: of call her, text or anything, and they will follow
• 37:28
  Speaker 4: up really quickly with just helpful tidbits like hey, oh
• 37:32
  Speaker 4: that's that you're not feeling anything. You can go ahead
• 37:36
  Speaker 4: and take one extra double up an all, adjust your prescription,
• 37:40
  Speaker 4: or you're having extreme side effects, start tapering by doing
• 37:43
  Speaker 4: ABC and we can meet next week and we'll start
• 37:47
  Speaker 4: seeing what we can do next. Like they're just a
• 37:49
  Speaker 4: lot more.
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that makes sense.
• 37:55
  Speaker 4: But you're right, Nick, Like I will have people they're
• 37:58
  Speaker 4: just reaching out for help and they will all our
• 38:00
  Speaker 4: office and they're like, oh, can you prescribe medications? I
• 38:03
  Speaker 4: need an appointment tomorrow and I'm like, oh, I don't
• 38:06
  Speaker 4: do that, or they'll look for therapy and like can
• 38:09
  Speaker 4: you also prescribe meds? I'm like, oh, that is not me.
• 38:11
  Speaker 4: So I do a lot of educating. Probably over a
• 38:13
  Speaker 4: couple of weeks they.
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: Get a call.
• 38:14
  Speaker 4: It it's like often, so you are not alone writer
• 38:17
  Speaker 4: and kind of asking like, what's the difference between some
• 38:20
  Speaker 4: of these It's a job titles, and there are so
• 38:22
  Speaker 4: many letters, there are so many letters behind people's names
• 38:25
  Speaker 4: to try and sort through that.
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: So basically to prescribe a medication, you would have the
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: clinician would have gone to med school, so that would
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: mean you're a psychiatrist APRN. That you mentioned.
• 38:39
  Speaker 4: Psychiatric they go through med school. I didn't really understand that.
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: Really, No, it's medical training.
• 38:46
  Speaker 4: Medical.
• 38:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah, an APRN would they earned their nursing degree, so
• 38:49
  Speaker 3: they have a BS and a batter positions.
• 38:51
  Speaker 6: They have a nursing license.
• 38:53
  Speaker 3: And then they also did some graduate school work that
• 38:55
  Speaker 3: specifically was about psycho farm and then if they're they're
• 38:58
  Speaker 3: a mental health uh Advanced nurse practitioner, which is usually
• 39:02
  Speaker 3: a little bit of a subspecialty, then they've done some
• 39:04
  Speaker 3: advanced training in psycho farm. So if you're gonna get
• 39:07
  Speaker 3: meds writer, your PCP is usually the one that's gonna
• 39:10
  Speaker 3: prescribe at this level when you're looking for your standard
• 39:12
  Speaker 3: antidepressant or anti anxiety, your regular doctor is a lot
• 39:16
  Speaker 3: of times who's gonna do it. And a lot of
• 39:17
  Speaker 3: people need to hear that because a lot of people think, oh, no,
• 39:19
  Speaker 3: I'm dealing with this. Let me go get in a
• 39:20
  Speaker 3: point with psychiatrists and you look up psychiatry and you're
• 39:22
  Speaker 3: sitting You're like, what the fuck it's a sixty day
• 39:24
  Speaker 3: wait for new patients.
• 39:25
  Speaker 6: How I'm gonna I'm in danger? Like what am I
• 39:27
  Speaker 6: gonna do?
• 39:28
  Speaker 3: Your regular doctor is the person that you can usually
• 39:31
  Speaker 3: get to first. And a lot of people, as you
• 39:33
  Speaker 3: were saying, Whitney, misunderstand what we do and they think, no,
• 39:36
  Speaker 3: y'all are the mental health experts, which we are, but
• 39:38
  Speaker 3: we do not prescribe.
• 39:39
  Speaker 6: That's not what we do.
• 39:41
  Speaker 3: Our modality is psychotherapy, not psychopharmacology. So we collaborate with
• 39:46
  Speaker 3: our friends that prescribe medications. We often share notes with
• 39:50
  Speaker 3: each other and collaborate on same patients, but they do
• 39:53
  Speaker 3: the medicine. We do the therapy. So in this life
• 39:57
  Speaker 3: coach can prescribe. Now life coaches will prescribe.
• 39:59
  Speaker 4: Yeah nothing, Well secondary doctorate, yeah right, they're.
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: Not allowed to by the man.
• 40:06
  Speaker 3: They will, but as sovereign citizens, they also pay taxes.
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: Libertarian in argue.
• 40:16
  Speaker 4: The want, I have a right to prescribe whatever the
• 40:18
  Speaker 4: I want. Yeah.
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: So among those who.
• 40:24
  Speaker 3: Bite this belt, so among those who do therapy, you've
• 40:28
  Speaker 3: got a whole bunch of us, right, And so you
• 40:30
  Speaker 3: named a couple, You've got clinical psychologists. You've got, like Whitney,
• 40:34
  Speaker 3: a licensed clinical social worker, and some states have different
• 40:37
  Speaker 3: titles for that role, but social worker will end up
• 40:39
  Speaker 3: in the title. A lot of states have my discipline,
• 40:42
  Speaker 3: which is a clinical professional counselor. A lot of states
• 40:44
  Speaker 3: call that a mental health counselor or professional counselor. You'll
• 40:47
  Speaker 3: also see marriage and family therapists. You'll see alcohol and
• 40:50
  Speaker 3: drug counselors. That is what Nick does. And so like
• 40:52
  Speaker 3: we have all these different disciplines the letters after our name,
• 40:55
  Speaker 3: but we all do psychotherapy. We all have different areas
• 40:58
  Speaker 3: that we specialize, but we we work amongst each other
• 41:01
  Speaker 3: and we weave in and out. What makes a clinical
• 41:03
  Speaker 3: psychologist a little bit different. Usually they're going to have
• 41:06
  Speaker 3: that title of doctor. And so usually whenever you meet
• 41:10
  Speaker 3: a therapist, if they introduce themselves as doctor or they
• 41:12
  Speaker 3: just have PhD after their name, that usually is the
• 41:15
  Speaker 3: signal that they are a clinical psychologist. Now with me,
• 41:18
  Speaker 3: I'll have doctor at the top of my name, or
• 41:19
  Speaker 3: at least I used to before I lost it in
• 41:20
  Speaker 3: that gambling problem. But then afterward, I have letters after
• 41:23
  Speaker 3: my name to let people know, here's my licensing, here's
• 41:25
  Speaker 3: what my specialty is. A clinical psychologist does a lot
• 41:29
  Speaker 3: more training in science than the rest of us. The
• 41:32
  Speaker 3: rest of us do a master's level, a very thick
• 41:35
  Speaker 3: master's like you know, sixty seventy credits, big fat thick girth,
• 41:38
  Speaker 3: the masters hardwood ships.
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we do a shit.
• 41:42
  Speaker 3: Ton of works. Like a normal master's fifteen to twenty credits,
• 41:45
  Speaker 3: thirty at the most. We're knocking down what law school is, okay,
• 41:48
  Speaker 3: And so it's a lot of work. Now, the PhD folks,
• 41:51
  Speaker 3: the clinical psychologists, they stay in school longer, but that
• 41:55
  Speaker 3: extra work is more pointed towards science, and so they're
• 41:58
  Speaker 3: doing a lot of research. They're doing a dissertation, they're
• 42:01
  Speaker 3: doing their own labs, they're also doing clinical work, and
• 42:05
  Speaker 3: so they tend to have a fifty to fifty balance
• 42:06
  Speaker 3: in most programs, But the majority of programs across the
• 42:09
  Speaker 3: nation tend to favor more the scientific side. You become
• 42:13
  Speaker 3: a clinical psychologist because you'd like to get into academia.
• 42:16
  Speaker 6: You want to do assessments and testing.
• 42:18
  Speaker 3: Evals or be a professor or be a professor, and
• 42:21
  Speaker 3: that tends to be the trajectory they go in. Now,
• 42:23
  Speaker 3: they do often come over to the clinical side. That
• 42:26
  Speaker 3: is not the majority of them. But when you find
• 42:28
  Speaker 3: them out in the field and they are practicing as
• 42:30
  Speaker 3: a clinician, they may offer therapy like all of us do.
• 42:33
  Speaker 3: They may also offer advanced assessment and testing, forensic work,
• 42:37
  Speaker 3: things like that, and so there can be value to
• 42:40
  Speaker 3: that for a lot of people. At the end of
• 42:42
  Speaker 3: the day, writer, what you're suggesting here is I'm realizing
• 42:46
  Speaker 3: I have this medicine, but I'm not necessarily talking anybody
• 42:49
  Speaker 3: about it. And Whitney's right. You can always go back
• 42:51
  Speaker 3: to your prescriber. You can always talk to that person
• 42:53
  Speaker 3: and give them feedback. But physicians, your regular doct are
• 42:57
  Speaker 3: often difficult because they they don't specialize in mental health.
• 43:00
  Speaker 3: I know the first move give you this. That medicine
• 43:02
  Speaker 3: should be unrestricted. It's the tile and all of mental health.
• 43:05
  Speaker 3: It's very easy for them to give away. It's not scary,
• 43:08
  Speaker 3: it's very trustworthy. But that's usually not the only solution.
• 43:14
  Speaker 3: So medicine for most people that are experiencing depression is
• 43:17
  Speaker 3: going to be that very first line treatment because it's fast.
• 43:19
  Speaker 3: We can get that to you quick. There's no wait list.
• 43:21
  Speaker 3: We can start that immediately. You can have that within
• 43:23
  Speaker 3: thirty minutes. Now people don't know though, that it takes
• 43:26
  Speaker 3: fourteen to twenty one days of taking that SSRI every
• 43:29
  Speaker 3: day for that to eventually work. Therapy, I'm proud to say,
• 43:35
  Speaker 3: has a much higher rate of efficacy or success treating
• 43:39
  Speaker 3: problems than does the medicine. The medicine is effective, we
• 43:42
  Speaker 3: should point that out. But therapy is twice or three
• 43:46
  Speaker 3: times more effective than the medicine. And you know, our
• 43:49
  Speaker 3: work is longer, it's more engaging. You're sitting down. It's
• 43:53
  Speaker 3: the longest medical appointment you're going to have in your life,
• 43:55
  Speaker 3: unless you have surgery or a colonoscopy, but those are
• 43:58
  Speaker 3: pretty quick too, a little bit more invasive, I think
• 44:01
  Speaker 3: little psychosomatic work, you know, just some reiki.
• 44:06
  Speaker 4: I like to get in there, no aesthetic or yeah, yeah,
• 44:16
  Speaker 4: there it is.
• 44:17
  Speaker 3: I'm a cat, greg Or I have nipples, greg So anyway, Yeah,
• 44:21
  Speaker 3: so therapists we are different in that regard, and I
• 44:24
  Speaker 3: would strongly encourage you.
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: Writer.
• 44:26
  Speaker 3: I if you're noticing that you're taking the medicines, now,
• 44:28
  Speaker 3: I'm glad you got to the other side of the spiral.
• 44:30
  Speaker 3: But if you're noticing, hey, I've been taking these medicines
• 44:32
  Speaker 3: and I find that I'm still struggling a Sometimes the
• 44:35
  Speaker 3: medicines have a side effect of increased suicidal uh ideation.
• 44:40
  Speaker 3: We call it a paradoxical reaction. Your doctor needs to
• 44:43
  Speaker 3: know about that immediately. Like that's something where you call
• 44:45
  Speaker 3: the front desk and you tell them this is happening,
• 44:48
  Speaker 3: and they will accelerate your case and get you some
• 44:50
  Speaker 3: coaching and tell you what to do in that case. Yes,
• 44:53
  Speaker 3: in a perfect world, we also want you to get
• 44:55
  Speaker 3: to any person practicing psychotherapy. That could be a clinical psychologist,
• 44:58
  Speaker 3: it could be a social worker, it could be a
• 45:00
  Speaker 3: professional counselor, it could be anybody that is there that
• 45:03
  Speaker 3: does therapy. But we should talk a little bit about
• 45:05
  Speaker 3: how to find therapists because the writer says, hey, budget
• 45:08
  Speaker 3: is a problem, and we get to revisit this. Usually
• 45:11
  Speaker 3: once a year somebody writes in with something like this,
• 45:14
  Speaker 3: where we can revisit here are tricks to finding a
• 45:17
  Speaker 3: therapist in your community. Here are some economical like shortcuts,
• 45:21
  Speaker 3: some ways to do that. This is a good episode
• 45:23
  Speaker 3: to do, that first episode of the year, and this
• 45:24
  Speaker 3: writer's asking that question directly, So I'll throw that back
• 45:28
  Speaker 3: onto the table. As far as like advice that we
• 45:30
  Speaker 3: would give for how to find a therapist and then
• 45:32
  Speaker 3: how to find economical options.
• 45:36
  Speaker 4: I want to say for something I don't think we've
• 45:38
  Speaker 4: addressed as much when talking about this, And since psychiatry
• 45:43
  Speaker 4: has been brought up, yeah again, psychiatry appointments are more expensive,
• 45:49
  Speaker 4: and I hear that they can be like two hundred,
• 45:50
  Speaker 4: two hundred and fifty dollars.
• 45:52
  Speaker 6: That's on the low end.
• 45:53
  Speaker 4: Oh, but they can be that much. But I want
• 45:58
  Speaker 4: to say, usually that session, especially, they will the good
• 46:02
  Speaker 4: ones at least, will spend time with you. So follow
• 46:05
  Speaker 4: up appointments might be fifteen minutes, but the first one
• 46:07
  Speaker 4: will be thirty minutes to sixty usually somewhere in there,
• 46:10
  Speaker 4: depending on your situation, and that's not something that you
• 46:15
  Speaker 4: will do very often moving forward. So I say that
• 46:19
  Speaker 4: because I hear you that things like that can be expensive,
• 46:23
  Speaker 4: but it's kind of like an initial investment and it's
• 46:28
  Speaker 4: not going to be that expensive over time. Follow up
• 46:31
  Speaker 4: appointments will be less than that if you're paying out
• 46:33
  Speaker 4: a pocket and you don't have to go super often.
• 46:37
  Speaker 4: Especially like I said, a lot of clinicians will offer
• 46:41
  Speaker 4: things like textphone, call, email follow up if you need
• 46:45
  Speaker 4: like tweaking to happen before coming back in, and otherwise
• 46:49
  Speaker 4: they'll kind of just keep prescribing. If you're like, my
• 46:51
  Speaker 4: meds are working, you don't really have to check in
• 46:54
  Speaker 4: as often, and so it's not I think it just
• 46:56
  Speaker 4: sounds so expensive, you know, upfront, So I want to
• 47:00
  Speaker 4: say that to encourage you. Like when we see that number,
• 47:02
  Speaker 4: you think, oh my gosh, a therapist costs, you know
• 47:05
  Speaker 4: however much that you go every week, But this is
• 47:07
  Speaker 4: not an every week thing. That is an upfront cost,
• 47:09
  Speaker 4: and it will taper down typically.
• 47:12
  Speaker 3: And you probably don't even need a psychiatrist at this level.
• 47:14
  Speaker 3: When you're just getting your standard issue antidepressant. Your doctor's
• 47:17
  Speaker 3: office is usually the right place to go, I resistant,
• 47:21
  Speaker 3: then you do want to advance that to specialist.
• 47:24
  Speaker 4: I yeah, I hear you, and that is true. You're
• 47:26
  Speaker 4: if you can get a doctor's appointment. My experience again
• 47:29
  Speaker 4: has been the nurse practitioners are in psychiatry. They get
• 47:33
  Speaker 4: you in sooner than the doctor, Like sometimes it will
• 47:37
  Speaker 4: be weeks until I can get a doctor appointment or whatever.
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: That's very true.
• 47:41
  Speaker 4: So yeah, I don't know. And if you find a
• 47:44
  Speaker 4: good practitioner that that specializes in psychiatry. Again, maybe that's
• 47:49
  Speaker 4: just my personal experience. But the couple that I've interacted with,
• 47:52
  Speaker 4: and I recommend clients to go there who live in Nevada,
• 47:56
  Speaker 4: but they are very good at really listening to clients,
• 48:00
  Speaker 4: hearing their symptoms, and one in particular, she will doesn't
• 48:04
  Speaker 4: even really diagnose, it's just what are your symptoms?
• 48:07
  Speaker 6: Okay?
• 48:07
  Speaker 4: Yeah, And I love that approach. It's like, hey, tell
• 48:10
  Speaker 4: me what's going on, and these are the type of
• 48:12
  Speaker 4: medications that can deal with those symptoms. Oh, you have
• 48:15
  Speaker 4: like ADHD and depression, let's go this route. You have
• 48:18
  Speaker 4: anxiety and like some bipolar symptoms, like, let's go this
• 48:22
  Speaker 4: route like that. So I don't know, Maybe I just
• 48:25
  Speaker 4: I've interacted with, well.
• 48:26
  Speaker 3: No, you're absolutely right. Like APRNs nurse practitioners, the reason
• 48:30
  Speaker 3: that mid level providers have in the past twenty years
• 48:34
  Speaker 3: been granted these powers to prescribe is because a lot
• 48:37
  Speaker 3: of these medicines are very accessible. They're not very and
• 48:40
  Speaker 3: we needed them.
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: We needed them that mid level. Yeah, it's like, that's true.
• 48:43
  Speaker 3: I don't need an anti psychotic, right, we're not center
• 48:45
  Speaker 3: talking about lanzapine like I'm dealing with standard issue depression.
• 48:50
  Speaker 3: Let's solve that. Yeah, that's why your primary can do
• 48:53
  Speaker 3: it and they don't hesitate. And that's why a lot
• 48:55
  Speaker 3: of nurse practitioners now are in private practice or attached
• 48:58
  Speaker 3: to therapy clinics. A lot of therapy clinics are now
• 49:00
  Speaker 3: bigger and like have a nurse on staff that will prescribe.
• 49:03
  Speaker 4: So yeah, we have a referral person who who shares
• 49:06
  Speaker 4: our space like one day a weekend, also has their
• 49:08
  Speaker 4: own practice.
• 49:09
  Speaker 6: Really useful.
• 49:10
  Speaker 3: I love that teamwork and especially finding one that you trust,
• 49:13
  Speaker 3: because sometimes this is something I was getting pussy about
• 49:15
  Speaker 3: the other day at UNLV. Like nurse practitioners in my
• 49:18
  Speaker 3: experience sometimes get a little two in my opinion, big
• 49:20
  Speaker 3: for their breitches and they start trying to act like us,
• 49:23
  Speaker 3: and they're like, yeah, so I think this person is
• 49:24
  Speaker 3: like bipolar tune. I'm like, the fuck are you talking about?
• 49:26
  Speaker 3: And they're like, oh, well, they answered these three questions
• 49:28
  Speaker 3: on this survey this way, so they clearly do. And
• 49:31
  Speaker 3: it's like, yeah, it's almost like I had to go
• 49:32
  Speaker 3: to school for like three fucking years to make that decision.
• 49:35
  Speaker 3: And with them often, yeah, you took the equivalent of
• 49:37
  Speaker 3: like some CEUs on diagnosis and like now you know,
• 49:40
  Speaker 3: like stay in your lane, Like I'm not going to
• 49:43
  Speaker 3: tell them what medicines to take.
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: Why don't you just talk?
• 49:46
  Speaker 4: You know, what to do with those Sometimes let's work
• 49:48
  Speaker 4: it out.
• 49:49
  Speaker 6: Right, So good for you that you find a good team.
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, stay down, APR take it.
• 49:55
  Speaker 3: I think I've fought this fight for years. All right,
• 49:57
  Speaker 3: let's tell this person how to get some therapy. So
• 49:59
  Speaker 3: if they're looking for a let's revisit our old mottos
• 50:02
  Speaker 3: about how to do this. I'll take the low end.
• 50:04
  Speaker 3: So if you're looking for the economical model, you're like, man,
• 50:07
  Speaker 3: I don't have insurance. Nobody in my insurance has taken
• 50:09
  Speaker 3: anybody new. I'm really low on funds and I need
• 50:12
  Speaker 3: to get in there and see somebody. I'm a big
• 50:14
  Speaker 3: fan of universities. Universities are going to have a training program.
• 50:17
  Speaker 3: That's the thing that I work at at UNLV. Our
• 50:19
  Speaker 3: students are great. They're under supervision, they're being coached by
• 50:22
  Speaker 3: good supervisors and me and Jim there it is and
• 50:25
  Speaker 3: so like, you know, they're very affordable. It's free or yeah,
• 50:28
  Speaker 3: you know, or nothing, and so like that's really really great.
• 50:32
  Speaker 3: The next level up is usually licensed interns. So when
• 50:34
  Speaker 3: you're on that learner's permit in the first few years
• 50:37
  Speaker 3: after graduating school, you're under supervision of a leader a therapist,
• 50:42
  Speaker 3: but you're usually cheaper because you're not able to take insurance.
• 50:45
  Speaker 3: That yet, if you're out privately and you're usually going
• 50:47
  Speaker 3: to have like a discounted rate because you realize you're
• 50:50
  Speaker 3: not as experienced as your colleagues and so you know,
• 50:52
  Speaker 3: you're kind of creating a lane for that. Those are
• 50:54
  Speaker 3: two off the wall ideas that I would throw out there.
• 50:57
  Speaker 3: Open Path Collective is a really useful website to find
• 51:00
  Speaker 3: therapists that have extra slots and they want to offer
• 51:03
  Speaker 3: those as a discount out to the world. They list
• 51:06
  Speaker 3: them on Open Path Collective. That would be my three
• 51:08
  Speaker 3: ideas for cheap therapy that you could find. But other
• 51:11
  Speaker 3: thoughts on how to find help.
• 51:12
  Speaker 1: We've talked about it before in the past. E AP programs,
• 51:16
  Speaker 1: that's maybe a start, it's a great you know, it's
• 51:19
  Speaker 1: going to be limited as far as a number of
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: sessions that they're willing to do. I'm sorry e AP
• 51:24
  Speaker 1: Employee Assistance program. If you're not familiar with that. If
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: you do have insurance, I don't know where you're writing from.
• 51:30
  Speaker 1: If you're an American, you know, contacting your insurance provider
• 51:35
  Speaker 1: and getting a list from them and just you know,
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: working within your insurance is going to be one option.
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: Uh and in psychology today, you know it's a good
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: good resource as well.
• 51:45
  Speaker 4: And use the search engine in there. I'm I guess
• 51:48
  Speaker 4: I should go double check, but I'm pretty sure. I
• 51:50
  Speaker 4: like I list. If I take sliding scale options or
• 51:55
  Speaker 4: a few slots available for low income. I usually try
• 52:00
  Speaker 4: depending on how many clients I'm taking on. If I'm
• 52:03
  Speaker 4: doing a little more part time work, then I'll take
• 52:05
  Speaker 4: one client that right, they I usually charge them like
• 52:09
  Speaker 4: whatever they work for an hour, I'll charge them that.
• 52:12
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 52:13
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's great. Yeah, and if I'm working more full time,
• 52:15
  Speaker 4: then I'll I'll add in one more. But that's because
• 52:18
  Speaker 4: I charged more to out of pocket clients who can't
• 52:21
  Speaker 4: afford that, and it's kind of like a little bit.
• 52:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, no, I love all those suggestions. Another thing
• 52:28
  Speaker 3: to just throw out there as well, whenever you're shopping
• 52:30
  Speaker 3: and you're looking around. So there's universities, there's psychology today,
• 52:33
  Speaker 3: there's open Math Collective, there's you know, searching for interns
• 52:37
  Speaker 3: in your area, there's EAPs. I think these are all
• 52:39
  Speaker 3: really important suggestions. Shoot, I thought I had one more.
• 52:44
  Speaker 3: I mean, if you if you're on state insurances, you
• 52:46
  Speaker 3: want to make sure you're utilizing that.
• 52:47
  Speaker 6: Oh, here's what I was going to suggest.
• 52:49
  Speaker 3: So, like a lot of times, one of the big
• 52:51
  Speaker 3: fiascos of all the ways that the insurance industry has
• 52:55
  Speaker 3: fundamentally fucked up mental health and the reasons why they
• 52:58
  Speaker 3: need to get suit into oblivion and be punished by
• 53:00
  Speaker 3: the federal government, but they never fucking will because they
• 53:02
  Speaker 3: give all the money the goddamn senators. Patroon dot coms
• 53:05
  Speaker 3: slush therapy. You can hear me a bitch all about it.
• 53:06
  Speaker 3: I'm sure I have several installments and yeah, other things
• 53:09
  Speaker 3: they're also talking about.
• 53:10
  Speaker 6: But one of the ways that they get away.
• 53:12
  Speaker 1: With murderings too.
• 53:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah I only complain at Patreon, but like one of
• 53:16
  Speaker 3: the ways they get away with stuff is they never
• 53:18
  Speaker 3: update their their roles, their their provider roles. So you
• 53:21
  Speaker 3: call and you're like, can I get the list? And
• 53:23
  Speaker 3: it's like the list is out of date, right, and.
• 53:24
  Speaker 4: We're all no one's calling you that we're quitting.
• 53:27
  Speaker 3: Their insurances because they're not paying enough for us to live,
• 53:30
  Speaker 3: and so like then we leave. But then they give
• 53:32
  Speaker 3: outdated roles to the patients. The patients call everybody and
• 53:35
  Speaker 3: they're like, oh, what's going on, and like they get lost,
• 53:38
  Speaker 3: and that's what the insurance wants is like you never
• 53:40
  Speaker 3: end up using your benefits, right, so you never find
• 53:42
  Speaker 3: the accurate list of providers. They could fix it in
• 53:44
  Speaker 3: an hour, they choose not to. But this has created
• 53:47
  Speaker 3: a market space where you have companies like uh that
• 53:50
  Speaker 3: group that you work through, the Telehealth, Alma and Headway
• 53:55
  Speaker 3: and a lot of these other companies that have taken
• 53:57
  Speaker 3: some market initiative to disrupt that zone and say, okay,
• 54:01
  Speaker 3: well here's what we're going to do we're going to
• 54:03
  Speaker 3: start a contract with this big insurance. We're going to
• 54:06
  Speaker 3: gather up insurance or providers to us, and then we're
• 54:10
  Speaker 3: going to make this really obvious and you can call
• 54:12
  Speaker 3: us and like, we'll just go ahead and get.
• 54:14
  Speaker 1: You an act.
• 54:14
  Speaker 4: They negotiate it for the providers.
• 54:18
  Speaker 3: We like it, and then the clinician or the patient
• 54:20
  Speaker 3: gets to use their real insurance the way they were
• 54:22
  Speaker 3: always intended to do, and the insurance goes along with
• 54:25
  Speaker 3: it because it's easier for them to just do business
• 54:27
  Speaker 3: with Alma or whatever. So Alma headway and go to
• 54:30
  Speaker 3: those websites and usually they will say what's your insurance?
• 54:33
  Speaker 3: You type that in where do you live, and it
• 54:35
  Speaker 3: will give you a list of providers in your area
• 54:37
  Speaker 3: that reliably right now take that insurance and they can
• 54:41
  Speaker 3: probably get you that therapist schedule and make it all
• 54:44
  Speaker 3: easy psy for you. So those are a huge option
• 54:46
  Speaker 3: to to shortcut the system.
• 54:47
  Speaker 4: Yes, systems very broke and make it easy for the
• 54:49
  Speaker 4: clinician and the client.
• 54:51
  Speaker 3: It's great and for now it's working, but they need
• 54:54
  Speaker 3: to do more work to make sure that.
• 54:56
  Speaker 6: Works long term. Because tech pros don't like to pay.
• 54:58
  Speaker 3: Everybody gonna take a quick break, and when we come back,
• 55:02
  Speaker 3: we're talking about having a friend with low self esteem.
• 55:05
  Speaker 3: You're listening to pod therapy talk about wood.
• 55:10
  Speaker 1: Today's episode is brought to you by Wood and these folks,
• 55:14
  Speaker 1: Robert Brownie Junior, Kayla Lansbury, Kevin Chamberlain, Ben Stanley, Adam Hathaway,
• 55:19
  Speaker 1: Dan Martin, clip Hey Yo, and Andrew Langey. If you'd
• 55:23
  Speaker 1: like to sponsor the show, become a therap producer at
• 55:25
  Speaker 1: patreon dot com therapy.
• 55:28
  Speaker 3: All right, Jimothy, let me get the last time I
• 55:32
  Speaker 3: did Goodwood. I'm gonna take exotic wood. I feel like
• 55:35
  Speaker 3: getting frisky. Let's let's take it down a notch.
• 55:38
  Speaker 1: No one's taking old wood yet. Oh no, you know
• 55:43
  Speaker 1: you're right, You're right. That's on me. All right? Uh
• 55:48
  Speaker 1: what what? Okay? Sorry? I forgot I can computer. We
• 55:58
  Speaker 1: gotta figure out what he's acting out. What is the
• 56:05
  Speaker 1: oldest non verified, verified non colonal tree colonial no C
• 56:13
  Speaker 1: colonel C L O N A L coming from the colon.
• 56:18
  Speaker 1: That's right, right, What is the oldest verified non colon tree?
• 56:22
  Speaker 6: Give me options?
• 56:23
  Speaker 1: Please? Okay, your options are rectum rectum. I barely uh
• 56:34
  Speaker 1: pancake O, my god, sounded out, what's the with the
• 56:44
  Speaker 1: line over it?
• 56:44
  Speaker 10: Oh yeah, Jaman shugarlea, just use it in a sentence
• 56:55
  Speaker 10: for me, Prometheus meth geez give me methuseleh.
• 57:01
  Speaker 6: Yeah, damn it.
• 57:05
  Speaker 4: It was like if Jim gets this right, I swear.
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: To I felt like that Whitney.
• 57:10
  Speaker 4: Yes, I'm gonna do. Exotic wood.
• 57:14
  Speaker 1: Exotic wood very. An extract from the bark of this
• 57:18
  Speaker 1: tree was first used to treat malaria in the seventeenth
• 57:21
  Speaker 1: century and now provides tonic with its distinct flavor.
• 57:26
  Speaker 4: Ship I should know this one options.
• 57:29
  Speaker 1: The coca cola tree. Uh, willow cola, Uh sinchona sent
• 57:39
  Speaker 1: chona or knucks vomit vomica.
• 57:45
  Speaker 4: Willow.
• 57:46
  Speaker 1: I think that's that's the one that had that's like aspirin.
• 57:50
  Speaker 1: Right is willow? I think willow.
• 57:52
  Speaker 6: Oh maybe it's a different thing.
• 57:54
  Speaker 1: It is ce chinchonaona. See I m C h O
• 58:01
  Speaker 1: n A.
• 58:02
  Speaker 6: It feels interesting.
• 58:04
  Speaker 1: Okay, learn and Jacob, I don't know what comes from
• 58:09
  Speaker 1: the willow tree. Yeah, it.
• 58:12
  Speaker 4: Was like that.
• 58:14
  Speaker 1: I'll give you a point, Jacob. That was his question
• 58:18
  Speaker 1: using Google Ye. I said it before I used Google checked,
• 58:24
  Speaker 1: and I said it that you guys were all like that.
• 58:27
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I remember it and I was like,
• 58:29
  Speaker 1: what drug.
• 58:31
  Speaker 6: To check out?
• 58:33
  Speaker 1: Okay, you want hardwood, old wood, goodwood, give me that
• 58:37
  Speaker 1: old wood.
• 58:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah, old.
• 58:40
  Speaker 1: Now this is the world's oldest living colonal tree. Colony. Oh,
• 58:47
  Speaker 1: the clonal tree col not not non clonal. Not the clonal,
• 58:51
  Speaker 1: the clonal. Okay, yeah, yeah, I know what. But just
• 58:54
  Speaker 1: in case I want the panda. Sure that sounds old
• 59:01
  Speaker 1: old old Chica Chica to Chico.
• 59:05
  Speaker 10: Yeah, God, damn this guys.
• 59:12
  Speaker 5: Negative mongarlo malee uh huh yeah jerupe oak uh b
• 59:20
  Speaker 5: old to Chico.
• 59:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, old, it is right there. The name it is
• 59:24
  Speaker 1: a panda. This wasn't Jeopardy remember this. That was the question.
• 59:29
  Speaker 1: It was like, panda is this? And it was like
• 59:31
  Speaker 1: the oldest or whatever. Just got me a wine stopper
• 59:36
  Speaker 1: for Christmas. You sent it to me for Christmas.
• 59:38
  Speaker 5: And it is made of bogwood, which is from the
• 59:44
  Speaker 5: It's from the Irish, from the Ireland, the bogs in Ireland.
• 59:49
  Speaker 5: And apparently it's the oldest known wood in the world.
• 59:54
  Speaker 1: It's like five thousands odd years old.
• 59:56
  Speaker 5: It's not living or anything like, it's dead wood, but
• 59:59
  Speaker 5: it's been has been preserved box.
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that'sating.
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna go with hard wood. Yeah you are again
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 1: agree on what is the densest wood? Yeah? Got her? Okay,
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna take options. Uh Ligma Vita, black iron wood
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 1: or leadwood?
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 6: Damn the same thing.
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 1: I think I know it, but I'm gonna go with
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna go with I'm gonna go with ce black
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 1: iron wood. I think it's snake wood.
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 3: I think it's that Ligma wood.
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 4: I think.
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 1: It's black ironwood.
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 11: I missed it, corrupted, lost our family? Friendly? Really really
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 11: take it downhill.
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 6: With him and you're welcome, intellectual show.
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 1: Who's winning?
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 6: I think it's still made.
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 3: Friend with low self esteem from Ralph Hi, it's just me.
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 3: About a year ago, I met a friend. This person
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 3: deals with many emotional problems, which they say stems from
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 3: having emotionally immature, manipulative, and unloving parents. Building a friendship
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 3: with them has proven very difficult. They have on a
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 3: couple of occasions let it slip that they have low
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 3: self esteem, then quickly change the subject. I care about
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 3: this person and would like to one day be able
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 3: to have a good, healthy relationship with them, but they
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 3: constantly push me away. I'm scolded, I'm ignored. I'm told
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 3: that my compassionate nature makes them feel uneasy. Other times,
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 3: I'm told that I'm generally appreciated or greatly appreciated, and
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 3: I'm very special. It's push pull, push pull, and many
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 3: times it seems more push than pull. I've searched online
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 3: for resources to help me understand this person and how
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 3: to go about building a relationship with them, but mostly
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 3: find articles on building my self esteem. That's not what
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 3: I'm looking for. Here's what I am looking for. Any
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 3: advice on building a relationship with a low self esteem person?
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 3: Or am I choosing an unwinnable battle? Can you suggest
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 3: resources for me on this topic? Ps?
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 6: The best answers have come from asking Ai, which, for
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 6: obvious reasons, I've taken with a grain of salt. Anyway,
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 6: thanks a million, Ralph.
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 1: Wait, the interest that came from Ai, I know that's
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 1: kind of where.
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 4: I think about.
• 1:02:40
  Speaker 1: Okay, Jacob, Okay, I've got it. Yeah, I'll take this
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 1: good my spot? What I think?
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 4: The horn people?
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 1: Corn? I know me how gurgle when this show is
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 1: ye season eight? This is your first episode listening? This
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 1: is about standard.
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah, are honestly we're at a high point.
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 1: We had a really good show. I would say count
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 1: well at once.
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 3: Oh damn it.
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 6: Season eight's ruined.
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 4: Man friends with high emotional problems. There's reasons listed, so
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 4: I knew. I was, like, this is going to be
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 4: hilarious for you. Three dance.
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 6: I just have jacob abandoned ship.
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 5: Like, I get to a point, for better or worse
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 5: where I have so little patience and I just can't
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 5: do it.
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 4: That's fair, that's a boundary.
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 5: I just can't do it. In my opinion, I think
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 5: it is at some point I do, and I have.
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 5: I have many friends that have that have all kinds
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 5: of mental sure things, yeah, going on in their lives.
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 5: And uh, And sometimes I look at my close friends,
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 5: I look at friends that aren't quite as close, and
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 5: I go like, you, you gotta you gotta figure this
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 5: one out. Yeah, I gotta give you a little bit
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 5: of tough love. And you're telling me that for the
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 5: fourth time you're thinking about breaking up with this person.
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 1: At some point, this has to be your problem.
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 6: I can't I can't support you in this, y Like.
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 1: At some point I can't help you with this. It
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 1: has to just be your problem.
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 5: Yeah, And uh, sometimes I feel like a bad friend
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 5: for that, and sometimes I feel like that's the only
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 5: thing that can help people. But either way, that's all
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 5: I can do. After after, uh, this is deep.
• 1:04:46
  Speaker 4: Well I have a question about that. Then, So when
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 4: you say this has to be their problem, does that
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 4: mean A you're saying like I can't hear about this anymore,
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 4: or be you're like, yeah, you can tell me, but
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 4: like I'm not going to give you any.
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 1: It has to be the a problem to solve, right.
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 4: So I'll listen, but I'm not going to solve.
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 1: Oh I love you and like whatever, but like I
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 1: can't help.
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 4: That's fair. Yeah, that's very fair. Like, yeah, if you need,
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 4: you know, you're gonna vent. We're friends and you're like,
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 4: oh my god, my okay, but yeah, don't look to
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 4: me like what should I do because.
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 1: At some point I can't help.
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 4: I see, that's fair. I could see that a boundary.
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 3: I feel like Jacob is a great guy for this,
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 3: because you know it's one of those deep, like fortune
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 3: Cookie level things where it's like this person has little
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 3: self esteem and they're like Jacob, I just feel like
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 3: I'm such a piece of shit and it's like, hey,
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 3: you are like whether you think you are.
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 1: You're not, You're sometimes you're feeling is right.
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 6: Sometimes you are a piece of ship.
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 4: Yeah, well and buy.
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 1: Me some sushi.
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 4: Kind of in the same direction that Jacob's talking about.
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 4: I was just talking to some colleagues.
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 1: See, that's what happens when Nick has to look something
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 1: up on the internet.
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 4: I know your spot's been tailed m out he's He
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 4: also has the the your same licensure now as well,
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 4: So he's a doctor.
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 1: He's just accumulating all of our credentials. If he can,
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 1: if he can name it, he can have it. A
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 1: great move.
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 2: No way you can do it, and not a single chance.
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 4: But we were talking about I was talking with colleagues
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 4: about Eckert totally, which I'm not going to I have
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 4: not read any of the books. I have started them,
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 4: but so this is not from me knowing anything.
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 1: But what about the like awareness the power of now
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 1: is I've heard of.
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 4: But what I like about it is it's kind of
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 4: like releasing that responsibility and it's it's you becoming an observer.
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 4: Like so the writer, Uh, you aren't responsible for fixing
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 4: your friend's problems, or.
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 1: You can't be. If you're cannot be.
• 1:06:52
  Speaker 4: Responsible, and it sounds like sometimes they might be trying
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 4: to put that on you, like, oh wow, your compassion
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 4: it makes me feel uneasy. You're just like okay, yeah,
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 4: all right, and deep done. You're like, well, I don't
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 4: give a fuck.
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 3: Well, And I think it's also indicative of part of
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 3: why this is such a unique problem to have, Like
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 3: part of what makes somebody have low self esteem is
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 3: not simply they just have an empty cup and if
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 3: you could just pour something in there, it will solve this, right,
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 3: And this is a mistake a lot of people make.
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 3: Is like you discover this about your friend or somebody
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 3: you love, and you immediately do what we all do,
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 3: which is like, oh, there's an emptiness here. I'll just
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 3: pour something here. Let me just give you affirmation. We
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 3: have compliments. You didn't receive this as a person growing up,
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 3: so all there's just a void of a vacancy. I'll
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 3: just feel it. It's more than that the person doesn't
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 3: know how to hold those things, so it's like you
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 3: never learned how to play catch, right, and it's like, oh,
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 3: the problem is nobody's ever tossed you the ball. I'll
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 3: just throw one at you and then it hits them
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 3: in the fucking mouth and then they're.
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 1: Like what the fuck And you're like, oh, I was
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 1: doing what you said.
• 1:07:50
  Speaker 3: You know, your dad never played with you, so like
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 3: I tossed the ball, they don't know how to catch it.
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 3: So it is it is difficult for them because even
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 3: when you're being kind and compassionate, they don't know what
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 3: to do with that investment. It doesn't fit anywhere. And
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 3: yet they also know that there is a vacancy and
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 3: that they are struggling, that their machine is operating differently
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 3: than other people's and it's tumbling all over itself. They
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 3: can express that, but you can't simply fix it by
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 3: walking up and complimenting them. And in therapy this comes
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 3: up a lot. Rookie therapists make that same mistake. They're like, Hey,
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 3: this person seems really insecure, and so I'm going to
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 3: use like compliment and affirmation and encouragement and will say yes,
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 3: that's do that anyway, always do that, that's fine, that's
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 3: not going to therapy them.
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah, we're going to help.
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 3: And a lot of it is going to be coming
• 1:08:36
  Speaker 3: back to some of what Jacob was preaching a second,
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 3: but which is the dignity of discomfort.
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 1: Doctor Jacob's right, as he always.
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 3: Is, but that is probably going to be school that
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 3: a doctor in school for nothing. But like in therapy,
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 3: we want to give people the dignity of that discomfort
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 3: to help them encounter where those absences are so they
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 3: can start to like pick the baseball up off the
• 1:08:57
  Speaker 3: ground and toss it in their own hand and realize
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 3: what to do with it. But as a therapist, that's
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 3: always a very difficult thing to do. As a friend,
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 3: I would argue, impossible. I don't think that's the role.
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 6: Of a friend.
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I mean kind of similar I think
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 1: to what Jacob was saying, is I kind of yeah,
• 1:09:21
  Speaker 1: those initials give your license. I definitely know what they are.
• 1:09:25
  Speaker 1: I know them. We all know that, we all know them.
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 1: We all know that if you had a wall of our.
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 2: Licenses and decrease, he just keeps accumulating them like a pirate.
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 1: I think it's a it's kind of it's important to know,
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 1: you know, when you are the support person, to know
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 1: the difference between when you're on stage with them and
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 1: when you're in the audience. You know, and there's going
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 1: to be times when you're just in the audience, and
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 1: like one of my favorite things to do in situations
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 1: like this is to empathize first, you know, be like,
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 1: oh wow, that sucks, and then follow that up with
• 1:10:01
  Speaker 1: what are you going to do about that? Yeah, you know,
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 1: and just to really kind of put it back on
• 1:10:05
  Speaker 1: them to just kind of understand and also to help
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 1: me understand. I'm in the audience right now.
• 1:10:11
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm being curious and I'm listening and I hear you,
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 4: but like, what are you going to do?
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah? This is my you know, I'm here to watch
• 1:10:18
  Speaker 1: this and witness this, and you know, I can be supportive,
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 1: but this is not I'm not on stage. I'm contributing
• 1:10:24
  Speaker 1: very little.
• 1:10:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, exactly. This is your journey. And that comes
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 3: back to the dignity of discomfort, you know, like allow it.
• 1:10:29
  Speaker 3: But that's an important thing that you just gave them.
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 3: Nick is like, here's some way that you can language that,
• 1:10:35
  Speaker 3: right because and it's hard because when somebody seems to
• 1:10:37
  Speaker 3: be drowning right in front of you, what how am
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 3: I going to resist the urge to fix, to heal,
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 3: to rescue this person? And writer, you're a good person,
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 3: I mean, Ralph, you're out there reading all these things
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 3: about like how to give somebody self esteem.
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 1: You're working harder at this than I think most people would.
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 1: I think you're working harder at this than they are.
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 4: Ye, And I was just going to ask that, what
• 1:10:58
  Speaker 4: I mean, if we want to really go up in there,
• 1:11:01
  Speaker 4: why do you feel like you need to build this
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 4: healthy relationship with a person that is not in that
• 1:11:07
  Speaker 4: space for whatever reason?
• 1:11:10
  Speaker 3: We have to talk about rescuing, right, and like a
• 1:11:13
  Speaker 3: fix some complex and like it's not your job. And
• 1:11:17
  Speaker 3: that can also come back to this relationship may be
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 3: unsustainable because I can't be over here trying to sail
• 1:11:24
  Speaker 3: next to somebody with a hole in their boat and they're.
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 4: Dragon trying to attach their hole.
• 1:11:29
  Speaker 3: They're going to pull me under the water with them.
• 1:11:31
  Speaker 3: And like sometimes it's not inhumane to create space and
• 1:11:35
  Speaker 3: distance from that person and to start letting go of
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 3: the relationship. And you might say, well that that's not
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 3: authentic to me, right, Like I love this person, I
• 1:11:41
  Speaker 3: don't want to see them hurt. I want to be
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 3: close to them, but like part of the damage they
• 1:11:45
  Speaker 3: may have suffered in life is that they may not
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 3: have that to offer, and that can be really tough.
• 1:11:50
  Speaker 3: And I want them to go to therapy for that one,
• 1:11:52
  Speaker 3: and that hopefully when somebody experiences enough broken relationships they
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 3: finally look in the mirror and they go.
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 6: I think it might be me.
• 1:11:58
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I as well.
• 1:12:01
  Speaker 1: You're getting close to that point.
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, A couple more, a couple more sunken boats.
• 1:12:05
  Speaker 4: You mentioned like healthy relationships. In my opinion, having a
• 1:12:08
  Speaker 4: healthy friendship with somebody means being able to tell them
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 4: if they are like hurting you in some way, and
• 1:12:15
  Speaker 4: you can be very kind and like gentle about that.
• 1:12:18
  Speaker 4: But I just the scolding thing is sticking out to me.
• 1:12:20
  Speaker 4: You know, if I had a friend who I mean
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 4: a one off or like every now, like once a
• 1:12:26
  Speaker 4: year they've like scolded me for something, I'm going to
• 1:12:28
  Speaker 4: let that fly, like Okay, you had a bad day whatever. Yeah,
• 1:12:30
  Speaker 4: But if this is something that is happening, you know,
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 4: every month they're like finding something to scold me about.
• 1:12:36
  Speaker 4: And we're hanging out or talking every couple of weeks
• 1:12:38
  Speaker 4: and they're like kind of snapping and biting. I think
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 4: it's fair to say a healthy relationship would say, hey,
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 4: I don't really like when you do that. That hurts
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 4: my feelings.
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 5: And if you're criticizing my home loan APR every time
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 5: we get together.
• 1:12:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it comes at some point, I feel like it's personal.
• 1:12:56
  Speaker 1: What is why?
• 1:12:59
  Speaker 12: I felt like it was good we started having this conversation,
• 1:13:02
  Speaker 12: was fine, you had thoughts, but no, you bring up
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 12: a really good point and like there's I think what
• 1:13:07
  Speaker 12: you're also adding here, which I think is important, is
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 12: this question of boundaries in terms, because up to now
• 1:13:12
  Speaker 12: we've been talking about how do we help your friend
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 12: and like what does that look like?
• 1:13:15
  Speaker 3: And can you and can you reach them? And here's
• 1:13:16
  Speaker 3: their their deficit. But like, I think we also need
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 3: to agree that it's important for this person to realize
• 1:13:21
  Speaker 3: you don't have to just be treated any old way.
• 1:13:24
  Speaker 3: And like, this happens a lot, like really high empathy.
• 1:13:27
  Speaker 3: People get into these dynamics with like you know, the
• 1:13:30
  Speaker 3: broken folk, and then those people will treat them like
• 1:13:32
  Speaker 3: pieces of shit or any bad way, and then at
• 1:13:35
  Speaker 3: some point come crawling back to be like I'm so sorry,
• 1:13:37
  Speaker 3: I'm so damaged.
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 6: It isn't you.
• 1:13:39
  Speaker 3: You're wonderful, You're the best thing that's ever happened to me.
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 3: Please don't let go. And you're like, oh my god, okay,
• 1:13:44
  Speaker 3: I yes, I'm here for I will not let go.
• 1:13:47
  Speaker 3: I appreciate you, yeah, and like, and then they treat
• 1:13:49
  Speaker 3: like a piece of shit again. And sometimes this gets
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 3: really erratic. Can we see this a lot in borderline relationship?
• 1:13:54
  Speaker 4: I was thinking about it, like, I don't want to
• 1:13:56
  Speaker 4: diagnose anyone, but borderline came to mind too.
• 1:13:58
  Speaker 3: If you're for Google that you know Google is something borderline,
• 1:14:02
  Speaker 3: you might see some things that resonately.
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 1: It's not about diagnosing your friends.
• 1:14:06
  Speaker 3: It's about pointing out that there are patterns that people
• 1:14:09
  Speaker 3: would relate to your letter in and when they're experiencing that,
• 1:14:12
  Speaker 3: we have to tell them. You get to pull away
• 1:14:14
  Speaker 3: from this because you're right when he Sometimes these get
• 1:14:17
  Speaker 3: so eccentric that we start putting up with really wild
• 1:14:19
  Speaker 3: behavior patterns.
• 1:14:20
  Speaker 1: Well, and we we start fighting natural consequences. Right, if
• 1:14:25
  Speaker 1: you treat me bad, I'm going to stay away from you. Right,
• 1:14:29
  Speaker 1: that's a natural consequence.
• 1:14:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's not me being disloyal. Yeah, that has nothing
• 1:14:33
  Speaker 3: to do with like my character. You punched me in
• 1:14:36
  Speaker 3: the face, like I have to walk away, you know,
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 3: and you have to accept that there's a responsibility to that.
• 1:14:41
  Speaker 3: So writer, this is a really interesting dynamic, and sometimes
• 1:14:44
  Speaker 3: we use the word enmeshment to describe like how interlaced
• 1:14:48
  Speaker 3: you're becoming with your friend. And I think if we
• 1:14:50
  Speaker 3: were your therapist, we'd be really interested in talking about
• 1:14:53
  Speaker 3: your boundaries, your distance, your self care, and not allowing
• 1:14:57
  Speaker 3: you to completely lock in with the person that may
• 1:15:00
  Speaker 3: have a hole in their boat, hoping that you can
• 1:15:02
  Speaker 3: find the.
• 1:15:02
  Speaker 6: Right fix for that.
• 1:15:04
  Speaker 3: That is ultimately going to be something they have to
• 1:15:06
  Speaker 3: learn to fix and they have to learn to coexist
• 1:15:08
  Speaker 3: with others not seeking the medicine for their emptiness in
• 1:15:12
  Speaker 3: their friendships. You could be a good and affirming friend.
• 1:15:14
  Speaker 3: You could be not a douche and like be a
• 1:15:16
  Speaker 3: great person that uplifts your buddies wonderful. You cannot fundamentally
• 1:15:20
  Speaker 3: reach into their brokenness that caught that a lifetime of
• 1:15:23
  Speaker 3: like parenting and all these other problems created and have
• 1:15:27
  Speaker 3: the one missing ingredient in your pocket. It's wrong for
• 1:15:30
  Speaker 3: them to look for that from you, and it's inaccurate
• 1:15:33
  Speaker 3: for you to believe that you can find that and
• 1:15:35
  Speaker 3: provide that.
• 1:15:36
  Speaker 6: It's hard work to overcome this.
• 1:15:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it takes a lot of week and then something
• 1:15:41
  Speaker 3: we do a lot in therapy, right, and we if
• 1:15:43
  Speaker 3: we have your friend as a patient. We're challenging them
• 1:15:45
  Speaker 3: and saying, hey, it sounds like you're going to Ralph
• 1:15:47
  Speaker 3: again and you're looking for Ralph to fill this need.
• 1:15:50
  Speaker 6: But we've been talking about this.
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 4: I heard that that's the great question.
• 1:15:59
  Speaker 1: So we would be talking about the West Coast grocery store.
• 1:16:02
  Speaker 3: Ralph's that we're getting all these I have getting in
• 1:16:07
  Speaker 3: all these It's a big deal.
• 1:16:09
  Speaker 1: Texas Kid is excited.
• 1:16:11
  Speaker 6: Yes, I'm excited for it too.
• 1:16:14
  Speaker 3: We need some competition because the groceries are out of
• 1:16:16
  Speaker 3: fucking control. Yes, yeah, we need as many news stores
• 1:16:19
  Speaker 3: as we can. Yes, anyway, Ralph shop at Aldi's. I
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 3: think that's the Solutionaire.
• 1:16:23
  Speaker 6: I think that's word.
• 1:16:24
  Speaker 1: Thinks that's exactly what we're saying.
• 1:16:26
  Speaker 6: That's what we're trying to say.
• 1:16:27
  Speaker 3: Whatever he wrote into the show sponsors anyway, good luck? Yeah,
• 1:16:31
  Speaker 3: oh yeah, sponsored the show, Ali, you get that sweet
• 1:16:33
  Speaker 3: Aldi's money. I think we're ready to jump on on that. Anyway.
• 1:16:37
  Speaker 3: As we get to the end of our first episode
• 1:16:39
  Speaker 3: of season eight, we want to remind you that our
• 1:16:43
  Speaker 3: show is powered by our friends that support us at
• 1:16:46
  Speaker 3: Patreon dot com slash therapy.
• 1:16:49
  Speaker 1: Go ahead. First, we have a little announcement that we
• 1:16:52
  Speaker 1: need to talk about and actually kind of serious announcement. Yeah,
• 1:16:58
  Speaker 1: Trigger Warnings has to do with domestic violence. So if
• 1:17:01
  Speaker 1: this is a FEN or if this is going to
• 1:17:04
  Speaker 1: be difficult to hear, you can fast forward a couple
• 1:17:06
  Speaker 1: of minutes.
• 1:17:07
  Speaker 4: Yeah, So on December twenty first, the night of the
• 1:17:11
  Speaker 4: twenty first into the twenty second, a friend of mine
• 1:17:14
  Speaker 4: that I worked at the Evil insurance company.
• 1:17:16
  Speaker 1: With her daughter changed that name.
• 1:17:19
  Speaker 4: Yeah they should. But her daughter, in her early thirties
• 1:17:25
  Speaker 4: was killed at the hands of a domestic violence incident
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 4: with her boyfriend, and they it's just an it's kind
• 1:17:34
  Speaker 4: of an insane situation. It's been all over the news
• 1:17:36
  Speaker 4: here in Las Vegas and just shocking for her family.
• 1:17:41
  Speaker 4: But they created a GoFundMe for her funeral services since
• 1:17:45
  Speaker 4: it was so unexpected, and she was very beloved in
• 1:17:48
  Speaker 4: the community. She was a tattoo artist, very talented, and.
• 1:17:52
  Speaker 1: You have a tattoo for her.
• 1:17:53
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I do my one and only tattoo I can.
• 1:17:57
  Speaker 4: I said I'd take a picture before and posted on Patreon,
• 1:17:59
  Speaker 4: and I never did, so maybe this is the time,
• 1:18:02
  Speaker 4: but I will attach that and Patreon as well. Just
• 1:18:06
  Speaker 4: the link for her GoFundMe no pressure to donate, but
• 1:18:11
  Speaker 4: I just her stories there as well in the description.
• 1:18:14
  Speaker 4: If you feel comfortable reading a little bit about it,
• 1:18:17
  Speaker 4: and if you do have five dollars to give, even
• 1:18:20
  Speaker 4: one dollar, I know anything's appreciated. Her family is so
• 1:18:23
  Speaker 4: giving to everybody that they interact with, very caring, and
• 1:18:28
  Speaker 4: I know this is just shocking to friends, family. I've
• 1:18:31
  Speaker 4: had multiple people reach out people I didn't even know
• 1:18:33
  Speaker 4: I was connected, you know, because Vegas is a weirdly
• 1:18:36
  Speaker 4: small town in a lot of ways. So I've had
• 1:18:39
  Speaker 4: a lot of outreach after sharing on my own social
• 1:18:42
  Speaker 4: media accounts of people who we had weird connections with. So, yeah,
• 1:18:47
  Speaker 4: it's just really shocking and sad. And domestic violence I think.
• 1:18:52
  Speaker 4: I'm not going to say we don't talk about it enough,
• 1:18:54
  Speaker 4: but it can end tragically, and it's yeah, it's.
• 1:18:58
  Speaker 3: Kept secret so much more, and this is why we
• 1:19:01
  Speaker 3: need to speak out about it, because it's situations like this.
• 1:19:04
  Speaker 3: There's no way that was the very first episode of
• 1:19:06
  Speaker 3: domestic violence that ever occurred, right, It probably happened before,
• 1:19:10
  Speaker 3: and there were times that swept under the rug, and
• 1:19:12
  Speaker 3: there's times of people say, I'm sure this is not
• 1:19:13
  Speaker 3: real I'm sure it's going to be get better, right.
• 1:19:15
  Speaker 3: It needs to be talked about. And it's because these
• 1:19:17
  Speaker 3: situations do escalate, people do lose control. Yeah, and now
• 1:19:21
  Speaker 3: a wonderful person is along.
• 1:19:23
  Speaker 4: Yeah with and that there weren't signs of physical aggression
• 1:19:27
  Speaker 4: before this happened, and in fact, there were the more
• 1:19:33
  Speaker 4: like scary signs, the subtle ones where he would want
• 1:19:36
  Speaker 4: her to FaceTime and like a lot of mistrust and
• 1:19:39
  Speaker 4: things like that. But her name, if you care to
• 1:19:41
  Speaker 4: look it up, is Renie Wolf and it's spelled r
• 1:19:44
  Speaker 4: E nise and her last name is Wolf, but with
• 1:19:48
  Speaker 4: any at the end, and so if you care to
• 1:19:51
  Speaker 4: look that up, I want to.
• 1:19:52
  Speaker 3: We will have the GoFundMe link in both of our
• 1:19:55
  Speaker 3: Patreon episode that posts earlier, and it will be on
• 1:19:58
  Speaker 3: the public episode as well. If you are listening to
• 1:20:01
  Speaker 3: this on any podcast app, go into the episode description
• 1:20:04
  Speaker 3: and if you scroll down, you will find a link
• 1:20:07
  Speaker 3: right at the top. And so we'll make sure that
• 1:20:09
  Speaker 3: that's directed any giving that you feel moved to provide.
• 1:20:13
  Speaker 3: We want to I think unite as a mental health
• 1:20:15
  Speaker 3: community and do real life, tangible things that make a
• 1:20:18
  Speaker 3: difference in the world. And I think whenever we, in
• 1:20:21
  Speaker 3: one voice and with good intention give to causes like this,
• 1:20:25
  Speaker 3: give as a reaction to stuff like this, we're speaking
• 1:20:28
  Speaker 3: against it. And I think that that is us making
• 1:20:31
  Speaker 3: sure that other people see, here's how much money is
• 1:20:34
  Speaker 3: going into this as a reaction, and that could inspire bravery.
• 1:20:38
  Speaker 3: There could be people that visit that story that understand
• 1:20:41
  Speaker 3: what's going on in this person's life and what happened
• 1:20:43
  Speaker 3: in their terrible tragedy and from that gain knowledge, wisdom,
• 1:20:48
  Speaker 3: and courage to stand.
• 1:20:50
  Speaker 6: Up to problems in their life.
• 1:20:51
  Speaker 3: So I just really want this to be the kind
• 1:20:53
  Speaker 3: of thing that we get behind as a community, that
• 1:20:55
  Speaker 3: we're putting good numbers behind, and that that sends a
• 1:20:57
  Speaker 3: message and I want that to be inspiring to people,
• 1:21:00
  Speaker 3: and I want that to be something that turns on
• 1:21:02
  Speaker 3: the lights on an issue that's kept in the dark.
• 1:21:05
  Speaker 4: But thank you for sure, thanks for giving me an opportunity.
• 1:21:08
  Speaker 6: Important, really important. So check that out.
• 1:21:10
  Speaker 3: Go to our our into the episode description, you will
• 1:21:13
  Speaker 3: find that on there. If you're a Patreon listener, you
• 1:21:16
  Speaker 3: get your episodes a little bit differently, but it'll also
• 1:21:19
  Speaker 3: be in the episode description because we're going to make
• 1:21:20
  Speaker 3: sure that it's inside the Patreon as well, So it's
• 1:21:24
  Speaker 3: a gym's fault. Yeah, it falls on me. Definitely, text
• 1:21:28
  Speaker 3: me and remind me.
• 1:21:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you will get three text messages at different times. Yeah.
• 1:21:33
  Speaker 2: Oh if I don't do it twice, Yeah, the entire
• 1:21:37
  Speaker 2: discord starts tagging me like, hey, dummy, get in there
• 1:21:40
  Speaker 2: and update this thing.
• 1:21:41
  Speaker 1: Stupid. They'll even give me the link anyway. Check that
• 1:21:44
  Speaker 1: out there.
• 1:21:44
  Speaker 3: But as we wrap up the show here in the
• 1:21:46
  Speaker 3: beginning of our eighth season, we want to remind you
• 1:21:49
  Speaker 3: that we are powered by Patreon dot com slash therapy.
• 1:21:51
  Speaker 3: That's where our friends and community and longtime listeners have
• 1:21:54
  Speaker 3: gone to throw a couple bucks in the hat and
• 1:21:56
  Speaker 3: make this show possible, and in exchange, they get to
• 1:21:59
  Speaker 3: be a part of it, get the show ad free,
• 1:22:01
  Speaker 3: they get it a day earlier, they get our extended
• 1:22:03
  Speaker 3: show with this one having a lot to do with
• 1:22:06
  Speaker 3: me turning forty in a year and developing it.
• 1:22:09
  Speaker 1: Hearing about it. Yeah, eleven and a half.
• 1:22:14
  Speaker 5: Kind of December and we're still hearing about Jim's next
• 1:22:17
  Speaker 5: fucking birthday.
• 1:22:18
  Speaker 4: Let's going we should rename the podcast.
• 1:22:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's right. Yeah, every season is really just a
• 1:22:24
  Speaker 1: countdown to.
• 1:22:26
  Speaker 5: But This is the place that you go to to
• 1:22:27
  Speaker 5: hear these things like like what when just brought up there?
• 1:22:30
  Speaker 1: And you know, sometimes they're a little rough, sometimes they're.
• 1:22:32
  Speaker 5: A little heavy, uh, but it is the kind of
• 1:22:34
  Speaker 5: thing that we want to shine a light on here
• 1:22:36
  Speaker 5: at pod therapy. So go over to patreon dot com
• 1:22:39
  Speaker 5: slash therapy and continue making it possible for us to
• 1:22:42
  Speaker 5: do that over there.
• 1:22:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we're really proud of this project.
• 1:22:45
  Speaker 3: I mean, this is the first episode of season eight,
• 1:22:47
  Speaker 3: and it's always an opportunity for us to revisit the blueprint.
• 1:22:50
  Speaker 3: Why are we doing this? What what makes it different?
• 1:22:52
  Speaker 1: Why do we have seasons? We have seasons because the
• 1:22:54
  Speaker 1: world does. Because we started with seasons. Switch the ability,
• 1:22:59
  Speaker 1: the same reason we've found music that we've got.
• 1:23:02
  Speaker 8: Nothing can be undone, never going to change.
• 1:23:05
  Speaker 3: We are reliable, baby, But you know, eight years into
• 1:23:09
  Speaker 3: this project, we are really reliable. And it's every single week,
• 1:23:12
  Speaker 3: every Thursday, you get an hour to two hours of
• 1:23:15
  Speaker 3: therapist sitting down and working out real life problems with
• 1:23:18
  Speaker 3: real people. But we do it differently than anybody else.
• 1:23:21
  Speaker 3: And I said in the season finale last season last
• 1:23:24
  Speaker 3: week that I realize one of the things about our show.
• 1:23:28
  Speaker 3: We will never be the number one thing in mental health.
• 1:23:30
  Speaker 3: And that's because that category is very stoic. I think
• 1:23:32
  Speaker 3: it's very academic. I think it's very scholastic. And that's
• 1:23:35
  Speaker 3: great networks for a ton of people, and the majority
• 1:23:38
  Speaker 3: of folks that take interest in mental health, that's what
• 1:23:40
  Speaker 3: they're looking for. They want to hear about research. They
• 1:23:42
  Speaker 3: want to hear a very calm, mellow voice for thirty
• 1:23:44
  Speaker 3: five minutes that's just you know, speaking about something in
• 1:23:47
  Speaker 3: meditation and cool and that's working. Where for the folks
• 1:23:50
  Speaker 3: that that's not their flavor, that they need something different,
• 1:23:52
  Speaker 3: that's shuffled up, that keeps popping, that keeps it interesting,
• 1:23:56
  Speaker 3: that can bring comedy and lightheartedness and authenticity and reality
• 1:24:00
  Speaker 3: to the same show that talks about domestic violence, murder
• 1:24:04
  Speaker 3: and you know, like insatiable vomiting and OCD and really
• 1:24:08
  Speaker 3: gives practical advice.
• 1:24:09
  Speaker 6: Ralphing as the third question is now going.
• 1:24:11
  Speaker 3: To be referred to as and we're doing it all
• 1:24:13
  Speaker 3: and you know, we're brave enough to be blue and
• 1:24:16
  Speaker 3: crass about this stuff because I'm a bad voice.
• 1:24:18
  Speaker 6: The real world looks like.
• 1:24:20
  Speaker 3: Doing drops over my own voice, though, just confuse it anyway.
• 1:24:24
  Speaker 4: Now that just flows.
• 1:24:25
  Speaker 1: It flows.
• 1:24:27
  Speaker 6: We are quirky, we are niche.
• 1:24:28
  Speaker 3: But if you've discovered us and this works for you
• 1:24:31
  Speaker 3: and you don't know how to describe whatever the fuck
• 1:24:33
  Speaker 3: we are, but you're digging it, I really need you
• 1:24:36
  Speaker 3: to come down to patrion dot COM's lush therapy get
• 1:24:38
  Speaker 3: into this more with us. These kinds of niche projects
• 1:24:42
  Speaker 3: are special in the world. They occupy a unique space,
• 1:24:44
  Speaker 3: and I think they're needed. And you know what else
• 1:24:46
  Speaker 3: is just as good Your father's dick has been in
• 1:24:49
  Speaker 3: me there it.
• 1:24:49
  Speaker 1: Is that.
• 1:24:52
  Speaker 4: Again.
• 1:24:54
  Speaker 1: What's just as good as as contributing financially is leaving
• 1:24:57
  Speaker 1: us a good review and letting other people in your
• 1:25:02
  Speaker 1: life know about the podcast. So if you got three
• 1:25:06
  Speaker 1: different options the ways you can support us, and we're
• 1:25:09
  Speaker 1: happy for all three or any of the three.
• 1:25:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah, And if you open up your episode description, there's
• 1:25:13
  Speaker 3: links to the Apple iTunes option to review us to Spotify.
• 1:25:18
  Speaker 3: If you drop us five stars, even if you say
• 1:25:20
  Speaker 3: nothing else about it, but you drop the five the
• 1:25:22
  Speaker 3: algorithm picks us up.
• 1:25:23
  Speaker 6: It validates us.
• 1:25:25
  Speaker 3: The algorithm likes us already because it sees eight years
• 1:25:28
  Speaker 3: of consistent work and they also see those reviews, and
• 1:25:31
  Speaker 3: so the system starts to say, hey, whatever the hell
• 1:25:34
  Speaker 3: this is. It's trustworthy, it's reliable, it's doing something. So
• 1:25:37
  Speaker 3: it means the world to us. But anyway, as we
• 1:25:39
  Speaker 3: initiate this next season, the next leg of our project,
• 1:25:43
  Speaker 3: we hope that you'll join us in a more serious
• 1:25:45
  Speaker 3: and influential way to also enjoy our community in our
• 1:25:49
  Speaker 3: discord conversations and just being a part of what we
• 1:25:51
  Speaker 3: are and it's really special.
• 1:25:53
  Speaker 1: And thinking of people who support us. We have a
• 1:25:56
  Speaker 1: new Theodactyl that is not on your script. I just
• 1:26:00
  Speaker 1: added it just a minute ago. Good job, Paul RUDNICKI,
• 1:26:04
  Speaker 1: thank you, Paul, Sarah Dactyl. But it is the first
• 1:26:11
  Speaker 1: episode of the month.
• 1:26:12
  Speaker 3: And so let me tell you about a lot of
• 1:26:13
  Speaker 3: other folks that like to support the show, and you
• 1:26:15
  Speaker 3: could have your name added to our list if you're
• 1:26:17
  Speaker 3: just supporting us at the five dollars level or higher.
• 1:26:20
  Speaker 3: The five dollars folks we call them the Theropods, and
• 1:26:22
  Speaker 3: we'd like to thank them.
• 1:26:23
  Speaker 1: Thank you.
• 1:26:24
  Speaker 3: Sam Cone University, Jeff Robert Paulson, Polygon, Richard Bruins, Linda Brandmeyer, Scoopsternat,
• 1:26:29
  Speaker 3: Joseph Pengrazio, Corey Owens, Christine Phillips, Gavin Bristow, Carrie terhak
• 1:26:34
  Speaker 3: Ky we Fruit, Scoop, Take It Ev Podcast.
• 1:26:37
  Speaker 1: James K.
• 1:26:37
  Speaker 3: Craig, Little, Don Door, Jim Hunter, Scoop Atron, Todd Canfield,
• 1:26:41
  Speaker 3: Felicia Butler, David Sorenson, Shayla Bullock, Lauren Izzo, Stacy Coleman,
• 1:26:45
  Speaker 3: Adam Pettanuzzo, Matt's Lenegren Scoop, itter Is Sending, Ian Soto,
• 1:26:49
  Speaker 3: Jessica Seipher's Lee Popsicle, Duc Doctor Scoop, Little MoMA, Ninja Scoop,
• 1:26:54
  Speaker 3: James Dawson, Sarah Olo, Grumpy Lake, Mead Park Ranger, Sam Buck,
• 1:26:58
  Speaker 3: Karen McCulloch, What Weekend Some, Lila b Gay, Two Crimes,
• 1:27:02
  Speaker 3: Kelly Gagner, Nippy Brian Emra, Matthew Johnson, Alec Lancaster, j
• 1:27:06
  Speaker 3: D Congan, a Literal Pickle, Julius Cappel, Matthias vander Brampt,
• 1:27:10
  Speaker 3: Andrea Savedra, Molina, Max the Ginger, Scoop, Ken Tinsley, Chemist
• 1:27:14
  Speaker 3: Protect and Scoop Smells Funny, Matthew Cubic, Chad Chad the Safety,
• 1:27:18
  Speaker 3: lad Walker, Fluke, Joel McMillan, Philip Guiton, Tim Mystery Almost
• 1:27:22
  Speaker 3: Doctor Nurse, Joey Duffy, The Slowly Getting Their Therapist Bear,
• 1:27:25
  Speaker 3: Christopher de Gersey, Kirka Grimm, Tricia Ortiz, Kirsten Johnson, Chris Conway, Mississippi,
• 1:27:30
  Speaker 3: Hippie scott A, Melissa Lgeisler, d J Sewart, Patty Glad, Freylawson, Fife, Eli,
• 1:27:37
  Speaker 3: Heather w Kyla.
• 1:27:39
  Speaker 13: Kyle, David Williams, Poldvy, Anthony Camarada, Froantastic, Eric Dyer, Curnipillar,
• 1:27:47
  Speaker 13: Buddy Dobbins, Glitch, Scoop, Nathan Mookie, Bud Nuts, Stephen Landon,
• 1:27:52
  Speaker 13: Aletta by Lais Mysterious analyd Adam.
• 1:27:55
  Speaker 3: Bowlas, Robert Cole, Kenneth Wong, John Finlayson, kJ A, Mister Poth,
• 1:28:01
  Speaker 3: Carmen Perry, k Pizzle, Diizzle, Sinsidium, Temporary Reality, Jeff Darnell,
• 1:28:06
  Speaker 3: Persephone Hazard, Jimmy b Jacob hurt Ray, j Shark, Silka
• 1:28:10
  Speaker 3: Daniels Recreated, Jacob.
• 1:28:12
  Speaker 1: Billingsley, J. W. Reynolds.
• 1:28:15
  Speaker 3: What does scoop mean? A Krusty Crathont, Jenny Rose, Alex Jardine,
• 1:28:20
  Speaker 3: Dylan Collopee, Wolfio five, Ben Sherman, Chris Courtney Dale the King, Nora, Monico, Riley,
• 1:28:26
  Speaker 3: Kevin Tribe, Jesse Miller, Cedar Hayden, Livy, Adam Goff, Acrilla, Curve, Grace,
• 1:28:32
  Speaker 3: Any Bitty Chicken, Farmer, Terry Terrible, day Linus Hakkasan, Jigen
• 1:28:38
  Speaker 3: Keeley keV In there it is.
• 1:28:41
  Speaker 13: Sheil food, kyl Ken, honestly fuck John cavarados K Matthews
• 1:28:48
  Speaker 13: and fish Bumfish.
• 1:28:50
  Speaker 4: The paradoctyls Ice, Blue Scoop, Brian Layman Scoop, Brady Fred
• 1:28:55
  Speaker 4: Bishara Junior, Andrew Anderson's Scoop, Lindsay Frozen Cusser, Laurie els
• 1:28:59
  Speaker 4: Rah Size, Shawneghan Scoopy, Scoopy, Just Jess Okie Scoop, Dank
• 1:29:04
  Speaker 4: Boda brooks Lyle, Adam Ribschik, Lovely Spark, Mister v Jim
• 1:29:09
  Speaker 4: and Manu Adam Warren, the Offices of Counselor and Counselor
• 1:29:13
  Speaker 4: Manwell Cavassos.
• 1:29:15
  Speaker 3: I like it, and of course all praise and worship
• 1:29:18
  Speaker 3: be upon our theity, the dark Lord himself, Jim Fasha.
• 1:29:22
  Speaker 3: And also we'd like to think our benevolent, revered, generous
• 1:29:25
  Speaker 3: and flagrantly pro therapy diehards who love you allso much
• 1:29:28
  Speaker 3: they give till it hurts that their partner's dirty b
• 1:29:30
  Speaker 3: and Pickett. And we'd like to think our bosses, the
• 1:29:33
  Speaker 3: mysterious and shrouded Illuminati, members of the fan Club, that
• 1:29:35
  Speaker 3: they're producers. Thank you, Jake Schneider, Myra, Robert Brownie, Junior, Mint,
• 1:29:39
  Speaker 3: Smitty Scoop, Ben Don, Judy Schneider, Kayla Landsberry, Malia Leon
• 1:29:43
  Speaker 3: cassab Mason Miller, Richard Fucking Macy, Carolyn Albert, Kevin Chamberlain,
• 1:29:47
  Speaker 3: Tess Miller, Sammy Scoop, Ben Stanley, Slap in your face,
• 1:29:50
  Speaker 3: Sarah Smith, Adam Hathaway, Builer t Mike Helm, Paris, Darren Cunningham,
• 1:29:54
  Speaker 3: Lib Team Monaco, Thunder Cougar, Falcon Scoop, Matt Lisa Tangman,
• 1:29:58
  Speaker 3: heyo Oscar Swan rose A Sounny Bo Slurpeka, motherfucker, Sandra
• 1:30:02
  Speaker 3: mcwoffle Dan Martin, Hanna, Marie, Andrew Langmead, Emma Kaine, Alina
• 1:30:06
  Speaker 3: Cody to the Lorian Guy and Sam Combe.
• 1:30:08
  Speaker 1: And if you would like to hear this episode uncut
• 1:30:10
  Speaker 1: and unedited, why wouldn't you know and enjoy our spontaneous
• 1:30:15
  Speaker 1: slide projects. Go to Patreon dot com slash therapy and
• 1:30:18
  Speaker 1: thank you for supporting mental health.
• 1:30:19
  Speaker 3: That's all the time we got for this week's session.
• 1:30:21
  Speaker 8: I want to think our landlord's Matt Mattingly's ice Cream
• 1:30:23
  Speaker 8: Social podcast.
• 1:30:24
  Speaker 3: And thanks to those of you who contributed to our
• 1:30:27
  Speaker 3: show today.
• 1:30:28
  Speaker 6: They really appreciate it.
• 1:30:29
  Speaker 3: But hey, remember pop therapy is and something to keep
• 1:30:32
  Speaker 3: all to yourself. Share the episode with the world. Tag
• 1:30:35
  Speaker 3: us on the socials when you do.
• 1:30:36
  Speaker 1: It's at pop.
• 1:30:37
  Speaker 8: Therapy Guys on Instagram, threads, Twitter, and blue Sky. It's
• 1:30:40
  Speaker 8: pod therapy on Facebook, and don't forget, it's about all
• 1:30:43
  Speaker 8: the extra goodies at patreon dot com, slash therapy.
• 1:30:46
  Speaker 1: And if you want to submit a question to the show,
• 1:30:48
  Speaker 1: you can do so anonymously at pod therapy tych nets
• 1:30:51
  Speaker 1: or email us at podtherapy guys at gmail dot com,
• 1:30:55
  Speaker 1: or even click the link in this episode description to
• 1:30:57
  Speaker 1: be taken to an anonymous Google form. I'm next Tangement.
• 1:31:02
  Speaker 1: Thanks and we'll see your appointments next week. Just real quick, too,
• 1:31:08
  Speaker 1: I want to just give you an update. It's now
• 1:31:10
  Speaker 1: been one week of wearing crocs. Oh me me, oh
• 1:31:14
  Speaker 1: because you're not what yeah? Because I got it? Yeah yeah,
• 1:31:18
  Speaker 1: still absolutely shitty shoes yeah, okay, we'll never wear them outside,
• 1:31:23
  Speaker 1: but inside there.
• 1:31:23
  Speaker 4: Inside, inside, maybe the backyard.
• 1:31:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah, he's he's a gentleman in the streets, crocking the sheets,
• 1:31:31
  Speaker 3: crock in the sheets,