Latest / Calm Under Fire / Marie Antonette Waite
Transcript
- Col. John Boggs: Well, welcome to Calm Under Fire, where we explore how leaders stay steady when it matters most. I'm Colonel John Boggs. I'm the president of Fortitude Consulting. And today I have Marie Antoinette Waite as our guest. Now, Marie is a business leader and a community architect who spent more than a decade building platforms where business and community intersect. After working in healthcare and real estate, she founded the Inland Valley Business and Community Foundation during one of the most economically uncertain periods in recent history. Since then, she's built networks and marketing organizations that elevate professionals while sustaining mission-driven impact. And today we're talking about what it takes to lead when resources are limited. Expectations are high. And work depends on trust. All right. Marie, thank you very much for being here today. I greatly appreciate it. Marie Antonette Waite: Well, thank you, Colonel John, for inviting me here today. Col. John Boggs: Perfect, Marie, you launched a nonprofit during an economically uncertain time. mean, holy smokes. What did that see? What did all of that teach you about leadership under pressure? Now that had to be a lot of pressure. What did that teach you about leadership? Marie Antonette Waite: Well, it helped me understand people more in terms of how they respond, especially when it comes to community involvement. At that time, I had my own real estate brokerage. And so I was out there trying to connect with ⁓ everyone to promote the company. And then during that time, it was really hard to see that there were a lot of companies have closed their doors. And I felt like, know, since I believe in my skills in terms of marketing, I wanted to do something for the community to help them out. And that's how I started this event. for the ⁓ for the community. And at that time, I ended up working with a few business leaders and we all worked together and we created this massive event where we had over 100 companies participated. And that's how the nonprofit was born because they told me that I have to be a nonprofit doing that. And so it took me two years to put together the nonprofit organization and it was very successful in terms of how I communicated with the owners. Col. John Boggs: Wow, they told you it would take you two years and you needed to be a nonprofit. So was there a moment early on there where you felt like, ⁓ man, this is not gonna work? Marie Antonette Waite: No, I was more focused on what's right for the community. And it didn't really bother me that it took two years for me to put together that nonprofit organization, because it's what's needed to help the business leaders and I mean, the business owners and the community itself. I mean, my goal was to make sure that, you know, the community doesn't suffer. Because if the community suffers, ⁓ suffers, everyone suffers. So my my deal is you know create a very strong local ⁓ factor that would help ⁓ help all of us all the all the businesses try in spite of the economic problems around us. So that's what I was trying to do. Col. John Boggs: Wow. Well, you know, I've got some experience working with a nonprofit and community leadership and particularly in community leadership. This means you're leading people who don't necessarily report to you. I mean, they're volunteers. They're this or that. don't get paid. Those who get paid don't get paid much. And but for the most part, it's a lot of volunteer work. That is really a strain on a leader. So how do you create your alignment? How do you get people going in the same direction without that formal, I'm in charge, this is you must do what I say. How do you do that? Marie Antonette Waite: Well, in the beginning, I experienced that some of the people that have volunteered were not fully committed. And for me, I am here to serve the community. if they're coming on board with me, they have to ⁓ be in the same wavelength as me, because I am trying to be a good example. that I do my part of leading ⁓ the group and providing all the skills and marketing that we need to create all these events. So I expect everyone else to. If they are not committed, then ⁓ I address that. And I always make sure that if they're coming on board that they understand what the mission and the vision of what we're doing. the, you know, ⁓ I think people get. moved and influenced when they are all inspired by the vision of what you're doing. And I am that way too. I am not going to move if I don't feel motivated or inspired by what I'm doing. And if I am inspired, they should be inspired also because, you know, it is for the community and it's also will affect our business in the long run. So there is a great impact for them to be involved in the community because it will benefit definitely. them indirectly or directly. Col. John Boggs: So help me, when tensions get tight, when tensions rise in a business community, in the kind of nonprofit that you run, what's your approach to staying steady? How do you practice real leadership? How do you stay steady? Marie Antonette Waite: Well, you have to be very transparent and honest about your understanding of the situation. And you have to clearly communicate that to the person that you're having a conflict or having ⁓ trouble communicating with. part of what you have to do is ask the questions. Col. John Boggs: Right? Right. Marie Antonette Waite: ⁓ what really matters to them and what really matters to me? And we have to ⁓ understand that this is where I'm coming from and this is where they're coming from. And we need to have a middle ground to compromise and to, you know, really commit to what we wanted to do for whatever agreement we're doing. So, you know, I'm a business person and my time is valuable. OK, and it's and I understand that that is also the same thing for them. So We have to be both wise in terms of what we're doing together and making sure that whatever we're doing is valuable for us and for the community. So I think part of it is under having a good communication in terms of receiving the message and also ⁓ sending the message to the other person. And we call that interpersonal communication. And I think every business professionals have to learn interpersonal communication because that's the best way to communicate. with people and to also influence them in whatever you're doing. Col. John Boggs: Yeah. Wow. You said a bunch of things here. Let me go back to this. You're a business woman and nonprofits and business networks. And know, they both face, particularly now, both face resource constraints. I mean, there's a lot of things weighing in on everybody. So how do you make decisions when everything feels important? ⁓ my God, this is all important. Marie Antonette Waite: Yes. ⁓ is about ⁓ a good system and time management ⁓ most of all, having a very strong relationship with people. Because without the strong relationship, ⁓ structured you are or have a very good system, it's not going to work because you're going to need people to work with you. So the main thing is you have to have a good ⁓ You have to have a good tracking system. Col. John Boggs: do you do it? Uh-huh. Marie Antonette Waite: and you need to learn how to manage your time and understand that you are good in multitasking because a lot of people fail from that. And, you know, I have like 15 projects going on right now. And how do you and I still have time for myself. So you need to find the right resources to delegate some of the tasks that you need for each project and make sure that the people that are in charge of those projects understand your mission and your vision as as a someone that's creating the projects. And you have to make sure that these people are inspired by what they were doing. And you give them the ability to be creative and to give them the understanding that they are in charge, that you count on their expertise, that they are there to support me and for me to support other people. So they have to understand the big picture of what they were doing. Because if not, if you're just giving them a task and they don't know what what the motivation is and they don't know what it's for. It doesn't give them any kind of inspiration to be more productive. Col. John Boggs: You said, this was really interesting. You said you have 15 projects going on and people are being productive. You have so many projects going, how do you stay calm or how do you at least appear calm with all of that going on? ⁓ Marie Antonette Waite: Yes. Well, you know, again, if you have, if you bring in a project, you need to have a great understanding of what the timeline is and what's the outcome that you want out of it. And what is, you know, you have to do a lot of study before you bring in a project and if it works well with your schedule. So again, it's a matter of understanding your time and what you're willing to do. And again, for me, I'm very passionate about every project I do. So for me, it's not really work. It's like I am having fun creating all my projects. I mean, you're talking about doing a TV reality show, doing a movie filming, know, doing magazine publication, radio talk show, TV reality show. I mean, these are projects that I love and I really ⁓ enjoy working with people. So if you have that passion of joy and fun, you're never going to feel like you're working. It's like you are, you have all these toys and all the playgrounds that you can have fun with. And so everything is exciting for me. If I have a project that I feel like, you know, it's, you know, feel like ⁓ I'm taken back or I feel like I'm wasting my time or I feel like, you know, it's a dream and I feel stressful, then I let go of that project because it's not worth it for me. Do see what I'm saying? I mean, you know, I work for a corporation, you know, from nine to five, 40 hours a week, if that's what I want. Col. John Boggs: Mm-hmm. Marie Antonette Waite: But that's not what I want. That's why I'm an entrepreneur. That's why I create all my projects because I love what I do. So that is the secret of being successful. Col. John Boggs: that is the secret to being successful. You also said something else that I think was really profound. You said, I enjoy people. Marie Antonette Waite: Yes, you have to love people. Col. John Boggs: That is. Wow, you know, I have a, I had a CEO that I worked with once and he said something that absolutely rocked me. He said, John, I really don't like people. I stopped, said what? He said, no, I really, don't like people. He kind of hid out in his office. He had his small circle of people and. Marie Antonette Waite: Bye. Col. John Boggs: And I was trying to get him to the point where, hey, you know that's not going to work, right? And he might be an introvert. But you said something. mean, I just, love that. I enjoy people. So you get energy. It sounds like you get energized from people. Marie Antonette Waite: He might be introvert, Yes. Okay. Yes, I'm an extrovert and coming from the Philippines, I grew up with so many people around me all the time. And here, when first came here, it was, I felt like isolated. ⁓ So it is also depending on the personality type of the person that's doing the work. And since I love people, I'm an extrovert. I have a very, ⁓ you know, driven personality. You know, it works for me for the way I'm doing it. Col. John Boggs: Mm-hmm. Marie Antonette Waite: And the things that I do might not be applicable to people that are introverts, because it ⁓ takes energy out of them when they're working with or when they're surrounded with so many people. And that's just the way they are. But they have to train themselves on how to be around a lot of people. So it takes some training to do that. But they can. They can still be an extrovert if they want to. but they need to be aware of what they're doing as an extrovert. And then later on, they can stay away and be an introvert again, if they want to. again, it's just a matter of training. Col. John Boggs: Okay, so help me to understand this then. How do you handle when someone or some people that are working for you, particularly in the environment that you're in with nonprofit and community, how, when a person... when they step into that world of testing your trust, how do you respond to that when they push trust to the limit? How do you respond to that? How do you work with that? Marie Antonette Waite: ⁓ are you saying that they have some issue with trust when it comes to working with me? Okay. Well, I, I, I make sure I address that right away because if there is no trust, it's going to be very difficult for both of us. So the thing is part of what I have to do to make sure that they understand that we have trust, ⁓ within each other is I have to be very authentic in. Col. John Boggs: Yes, that's what I'm saying. Marie Antonette Waite: transparent about my position. And so there are no miscommunication. We have to be in the same page. And so part of that is making sure that I communicate well with them and, you know, really hear them out and understand what are their concerns, what are the challenges, what are the things that I can help them with in order for us to work together. So if they see that I am willing to work with them in terms of what they can provide, because Col. John Boggs: Mm-hmm. Marie Antonette Waite: not people can do everything right so they will have some strengths and weaknesses so if I understand both strength and weaknesses then I can figure out how to work with them ⁓ and then ⁓ you know provide the right ⁓ information on the right tasks that I can delegate because again people are not perfect you know like I myself have some weaknesses too and I know what I'm capable of doing and what I don't like to do. Col. John Boggs: Mm-hmm. Marie Antonette Waite: So the things that I don't like to do, I like to delegate that to people that would love to do it. So that's part of why you wanted to have a good relationship with people and have a strong team that works with you because that's how you can move forward with accomplishing your goals. Col. John Boggs: in You just said that you know yourself, which I personally think that's very important. ⁓ How important is that? How important is self-awareness for the leader? How important is that, particularly in your area? Marie Antonette Waite: Yes. Well, yeah, I actually went back to school just for that. The reason why is, you you have to understand the different types of people and how they are in terms of how they react towards negative or positive, you know. So you need to understand how they react and their body language, their tone of speaking. You have to study all of that in order for you to communicate effectively. In my case, I've learned that I have such a very strong personality that I have to learn how to manage my personality in order to work well with someone that is an opposite of me. Because a lot of people that I'm like mostly they're very analytical. You know, I can give you a little bit of example that analytical takes time to make a decision. They do a lot of research and they question a lot. And as someone that's an opposite, I'm a quick decision maker. I don't worry about mistakes because I like to experience mistakes and I like to take risks because from there I come up with more solutions and more ideas. And that's something that sometimes people when they procrastinate about doing things, they don't get to experience what I'm experiencing when I'm taking the action right away and seeing all the problems that could occur from that decision. but I'm not worried about it because there's always plan A, B and C and D, right? So it's a matter of learning tactics. You know, my background was in the computer programming. And as a computer programmer, you understand that there's gonna be, you know, the if and then situation, right? And you always have to come up with a good solution for each step that you make. And as a computer programmer, you also wanna test all the errors. There's an error in trial, you know, process. Col. John Boggs: ⁓ huh. ⁓ huh. Marie Antonette Waite: So for me taking a step on something that could be unknown in the things that I could face with, I had no problem with it because I know that I'm going to study whatever mistakes I made and then fine tune the process and create more solution. And here's what happened when I ⁓ ended up getting all kinds of mistakes or challenges. I actually ended up meeting more people who can come in and help me out. And that's how I expand my network. Col. John Boggs: Ha ha ha. Marie Antonette Waite: Because I would voice out to the people that I know. said, look, I have a challenge. This is my problem. How do you think you can help me with this? And then they step up and help me out. And then all of a sudden, I've got a program. And that's why I've got over 15 projects, because people are coming to me for different things. And I would say yes. And then I see how we can work together. And I see the challenges. And I make it work. I mean, imagine I'm doing a, I'm. Col. John Boggs: ⁓ my. Marie Antonette Waite: I did a TV reality show. I'm not even a Hollywood producer, but I got that TV reality show approved by NBC. How do you think I did that? Because I went for it. Col. John Boggs: Wow. Wow, congratulations. ⁓ my goodness. ⁓ my goodness. So what has leading in a community space taught you about being resilient? Cause I'm go to something else here too. Cause you just said reality show. ⁓ my. Marie Antonette Waite: Thank you. Yeah, I think it's good for you to be a go-getter, to challenge yourself in doing something that you don't know what it is and just go through the process of experiencing what's being offered to you. Because the thing is, you'll never have an opportunity to experience anything because that's not something that you normally do. But if you ⁓ give yourself a chance to do something that's outside the norm, then you'll have ⁓ new experiences, you'll have new connections, you will have new wisdom on something that you didn't have anything before, right? That's what I love about life, because I feel like I don't have enough time in this world to experience everything, but I do. I just go for it. I when people come to me for a new topic, I mean, I'm in the industry of healthcare, sports, entertainment, real estate. Col. John Boggs: Ha ha ha ha. Marie Antonette Waite: I mean, health, I mean, you're talking about so many ⁓ industries that I'm involved, even fashion. I mean, would you believe that I became famous in the fashion industry and I'm not even a fashion designer? So, and that's part of what I get into. I mean, I got connected to a lot of fashion designer, international photographers from all over the world. And I even got invited to go to Paris and they were willing to pay for my flight and my accommodation just to watch your fashion show because they saw that I thought that I was an icon in the fashion industry because I was doing a lot of events. And that's part of what I saw where when you do something good for the community and for other people, know, bless you with so many different fun things that you would not know that you'll get. Col. John Boggs: Mm-hmm. Marie Antonette Waite: because it's just blessing you because of who you are and you're being ⁓ generous, you're being grateful about life and you're helping other people solve their problems or reach their dreams. mean, one of the things I tell some of my clients is I said, one of my vision is to be able to sit in front ⁓ of the stage where you're standing and they're cheering for you for whatever accomplishments you've made. Col. John Boggs: Mm-hmm. Bravo, yes. Marie Antonette Waite: That's a vision I have for most of these people and there are times that I would ⁓ talk to them about, you know, having a vision of who they are, ⁓ where they're gonna be. Like I had this one lady who just published her book but she never thought that she could be a speaker and I said to her, I think you can ⁓ be a great speaker. You're gonna be able to influence a lot of people. I see you on stage and guess what? After that, Col. John Boggs: Uh-huh. Marie Antonette Waite: She went to Kenya and spoke in front of 12,000 students. And now she's traveling all over the world. And she can't stop talking about what I said to her because it changed her mindset on how she looks at herself. She thought I was crazy, but guess what? She is now all over the world and going to different countries and going into Washington, DC, getting awards and things like that. So, you know. Col. John Boggs: Wow. So really, it's almost a mistake to pigeonhole you in any one space. The community space is what caught my eye, but the reality is you're into very many things and you keep all those balls in the air. Marie Antonette Waite: Yes, that's Yes, and I love it. I actually, if you see that I have, I have my Excel files and I have all my products and services and I have all the things that are happening in each one. It's amazing. I love it. I mean, one time I used this ⁓ software in Google. It's called ⁓ Doodle, I think. And I put all my projects almost like octopus the way it looked because I have so many projects and but the thing about that, they're all connected. Col. John Boggs: Mm-hmm. Marie Antonette Waite: in some ways. All of them are all connected and I am able to ⁓ package them where it's there they would have like five or ten of my services when I'm talking to them because it relates to whatever they're doing. So I customize it according to what they can ⁓ benefit from. Col. John Boggs: So tell me this then, when you think about leaders and leaders who they handle pressure, ⁓ I mean, that's part of being a leader. You're fortunate enough that, yep, you're in charge, lucky you, but you've led in so many different areas. Is there one area that you found it more difficult or more trying to be the leader? Marie Antonette Waite: In the beginning, Again, it was the understanding of people's reaction, people's behavior. That's why you have to really understand that part. As a leader, you gotta be humble. You have to learn how to be empathetic. You know, the word empathy. Col. John Boggs: in the beginning. Marie Antonette Waite: is one of the things that you have to be very strong at. So if you're talking to somebody, you need to learn how to put yourself in someone's position. And then you'll be able to communicate well and understand ⁓ who they are and what they want and how you can be a value to that person. So if you learn to master empathy, I have that in my book, I actually publish a book called Who Do You Think You Are? And it's available on Amazon. And one of the things that I talked about was empathy. And that's something that people need to practice, and they have to make it more a part of their process when they're communicating with people. Col. John Boggs: Wow. Wow. Okay, well, tell me, what have you learned about yourself as a leader when when when everything is you're into so much, you're doing so many different things and they all have its own pressure? What have you learned about yourself? Marie Antonette Waite: I learned that God gave me all the talents I need to ⁓ serve people for His purpose. Col. John Boggs: Mmm. Marie Antonette Waite: That's what I learned. I know that I discovered so many things about myself after I left the healthcare and I got into real estate. And I realized I'm good at a lot of things because I was in the healthcare and I was good in what I do, but I felt like someone, something was missing. I felt like my, wings are not being spread really well. When I got out of that industry and I went to real estate and I met more people and I realized that I am out of touch when it comes to people's communication. That's when I really mastered that part. And I realized how I can influence people and how I can move people in a way they are, ⁓ you know, that's making an impact in their own lives. So, you know, I felt like I have all the gifts that God made me to be in this world and to really serve according to his plan. That's what I learned. Col. John Boggs: Mm-hmm. Tell me, if you had a group of young people, they're up and comers, they haven't started out in life yet, what advice would you give them as far as their future and looking forward and becoming a leader? Marie Antonette Waite: Hmm. Well, they first of all, they have to be very excited about life Okay, they can be fearful. They can't be afraid of anything. I mean they have to be wise and The way to do that is always have good people around you wise people good people and they need to know that they are there to ⁓ serve other people, not just for themselves, because some people are selfish sometimes. But if they are more giving, and they experience more in terms of their relationship, I think they have to look out for the people that have done a lot of things, a lot of success in life, and just be around them, ask questions, and make sure that they are following their desire to be successful person. mean, again, it's a matter of how they envision themselves. One thing for sure is they have to have a good image of where they're going. You know, I have looked at myself as someone that can speak in front of large audience. But the funny thing about that is I was actually initially afraid of speaking in front of people, but I ended up imagining myself speaking in front of people. So if they have to have a good vision of where they want to go, if they want to be the president of the United States, they have to envision that picture in their mind and it has to be clear and has to be strong and has to stay firm. So if they have that image of who they want to be, that's where they need to follow their footsteps. If they want to be a police officer, if they want to be a lawyer or someone that they desire to be, they need to make sure that they focus on that. ⁓ laser target. You know, I have, ⁓ my grandfather was a founder of in the Philippines. And my uncle, my dad made over 100 karate movies. And my mom is the first female black belter. And at that time, there were no women. But her goal is to make sure that, you know, she proves that women are not weak. And she became the first female black belter of that karate, you know, industry. And so Col. John Boggs: Mm-hmm. Marie Antonette Waite: Part of what you have to do is if you envision yourself being a strong leader or a strong professional, make sure that you ⁓ understand what the role of that and just move forward and get the right people around you and understand what it takes to get there. And don't be afraid. That's all I can say. Don't be afraid. Go for it and learn the mistakes, experience it and figure out how you can solve the problem. Col. John Boggs: Wow Wow, what a message. I like that. Don't be afraid so for leaders who are listening and they want to build something I would I would have first I'd have said community centered but now I'll just stop they want to build something And and they want to do it. Well, they they have to understand the pressure What's the best way for them to stay connected with you? How do they reach out to you? How do they become? Um Well a mini you how to I mean, you're amazing. So how do they become like you? How do they reach you? Marie Antonette Waite: ⁓ Well, the first thing is they have to be proactive. They have to introduce themselves to people. I remember when I first opened up my real estate brokerage, nobody knows me, but I went to a big orientation and I was like the host of that event because I introduced myself to everybody in that room with no hesitation. And that's something you need to do. If you are, if you believe, that you are made to be in this world and that God has given you every talent that you can have. You need to be very proactive in introducing yourself and offering yourself to people. so they get to know you. So that's something that they need to really understand ⁓ their faith in God that if they believe that who they are, then they should not be afraid of introducing themselves to anyone. And once they introduce themselves, be very vocal of what you want to achieve. Because I know some people feel like, you know, they don't have to say what they what their vision is. No, you have to be vocal. You have to let them. Let them out and let people know that this is what you wanted to accomplish. And what happens is when people are listening, they're now wanting to support you. They want to give you all the resources you need to build. And that's how it works. You got to be bold, vocal, and proactive. And once you do that, then you have to also put the hard work. Make sure that you provide the time. to connect with people and to make sure that you have good communication with them and ask them, would you be able to help me? Ask them if there's anything that you can connect me to that can help me with this. And then pray to God. Because one thing about praying to God is he opens up the doors for you and he brings you the right people in whatever you're trying to accomplish. And there are so many times I've been surprised that Col. John Boggs: Mm-hmm. Marie Antonette Waite: I just mentioned this thing that I wanted to accomplish. All of a sudden, I was getting a call from people that it was the perfect people for the project. And that's how it works. Col. John Boggs: Wow. Wow, wow. Marie, thank you so much. If people wanna work with you or they want to ⁓ connect with you, how do they do that? Marie Antonette Waite: Connect with me. They can call me at 619-453-4664 or they can go to my website. It's called mariewait.com. That's M-A-R-I-E W-A-I-T-E dot com. And I always tell people, you can't wait to work with Marie. Col. John Boggs: Okay, all right. Well, Marie, thank you very much. This was more than wonderful. This was energetic. This was very, very enlightening, bold, proactive, hard work, pray. I love that. I mean, and you're into so much more than just community-centered work. That's amazing. So folks, this is, know, mariewait.com and 619-453- Marie Antonette Waite: Thank you. Col. John Boggs: That's how you reach her. Well, ladies and gentlemen, that brings us to a close for today. I will see you on our next go. Until then, out here.