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Ephesians 6:1-5 | Parenting + Kids · Bayside Davis Podcast

0:05
SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Baside Davis Podcast.
0:08
SPEAKER_00: You're listening to our current teaching series, Ephesians.
0:16
SPEAKER_00: Ephesians chapter 6.
0:18
SPEAKER_00: Starting in verse 1, are you there?
0:20
SPEAKER_00: What's the first word?
0:22
unknown: Children.
0:23
SPEAKER_00: Children.
0:24
SPEAKER_00: What's the next word?
0:26
SPEAKER_00: Whoa, we're just getting right to it today, aren't we?
0:29
SPEAKER_00: Children obey your who?
0:31
SPEAKER_00: Parents in the Lord, for this is what?
0:35
SPEAKER_00: This is right.
0:36
SPEAKER_00: And then verse 2 honor your father and your mother.
0:40
SPEAKER_00: Which is the first commandment with a what?
0:44
SPEAKER_00: Promise.
0:44
SPEAKER_00: So that it may go well with you, and so that you may enjoy long life where?
0:51
SPEAKER_00: On the earth.
0:52
SPEAKER_00: Fathers.
0:54
SPEAKER_00: Fathers.
0:55
SPEAKER_00: Do not exasperate your children.
0:57
SPEAKER_00: We'll have some fun unpacking that in a little bit.
0:59
SPEAKER_00: Fathers, do not exasperate your children.
1:01
SPEAKER_00: Instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
1:04
SPEAKER_00: And then verse 5.
1:05
SPEAKER_00: This is what you call an abrupt gear shift in the scripture.
1:09
SPEAKER_00: Slaves.
1:10
SPEAKER_00: Obey your earthly masters with respect and fear and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ.
1:17
SPEAKER_00: Obey them not only to win their favor when their eye is on you, but as slaves of who?
1:22
SPEAKER_00: Christ.
1:23
SPEAKER_00: Doing the will of God from your heart.
1:26
SPEAKER_00: Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people, because you know that the Lord will reward each one for whatever good they do, whether they are slave or free.
1:37
SPEAKER_00: And masters treat your slaves in the same way.
1:39
SPEAKER_00: Do not threaten them, since you know that he who is both their master and yours is in heaven, and there is no favoritism with him.
1:49
SPEAKER_00: May God bless the reading of his word.
1:52
SPEAKER_00: What do we know about the Bible?
1:53
SPEAKER_00: We know a lot of stuff about the Bible, especially around here, you know a special lot about the Bible because Wesley teaches it to you so remarkably, week in and week out.
2:02
SPEAKER_00: But what we know is that the order of things in the Bible, the order in which things flow in the Bible, matters, doesn't it?
2:10
SPEAKER_00: Meaning this passage in Ephesians chapter 6 comes after a certain passage.
2:15
SPEAKER_00: Flip over in your Bible, probably just a page or so, and get to Ephesians chapter 5, verse 21.
2:21
SPEAKER_00: I'm listening for the rustling of Bible pages.
2:24
SPEAKER_00: I didn't hear any yet, though.
2:25
SPEAKER_00: Ephesians chapter 5, verse 20.
2:27
SPEAKER_00: Maybe you didn't have to turn, maybe it's just right there.
2:29
SPEAKER_00: Ephesians 5, 21, what's that verse say?
2:33
SPEAKER_00: Submit to who?
2:36
SPEAKER_00: One another out of reverence for Christ.
2:40
SPEAKER_00: By the way, that verse, Ephesians 5.21, is like the hinge verse upon which every single thing that follows in the rest of the book of Ephesians swings.
2:50
SPEAKER_00: Right?
2:51
SPEAKER_00: And Wesley unpacked this, I'm certain of it.
2:53
SPEAKER_00: Ephesians 5.21, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
2:57
SPEAKER_00: That would have been so shockingly subversive to Paul's first century readers of the letter to the church in Ephesus, wouldn't it?
3:06
SPEAKER_00: Because you know this.
3:07
SPEAKER_00: In first century Roman world, who ruled the roost?
3:10
SPEAKER_00: Who was it?
3:12
SPEAKER_00: Man.
3:12
SPEAKER_00: It was the men who ruled the roost.
3:14
SPEAKER_00: The husband, the father, the master.
3:18
SPEAKER_00: He was the end all be-all law.
3:20
SPEAKER_00: It was him, meaning wives and children and slaves.
3:25
SPEAKER_00: They didn't have standing, they didn't have voice, they had nothing.
3:29
SPEAKER_00: And then Paul drops this nuclear bomb of truth.
3:34
SPEAKER_00: You all.
3:36
SPEAKER_00: Men, women, children, slaves, slave owners, you all submit to one another.
3:45
SPEAKER_00: Submit to one another.
3:47
SPEAKER_00: Guys, I we we sitting in this room today, we cannot fathom the nuclear detonation that that was.
3:54
SPEAKER_00: It wasn't only submit upward, only submit to those who are superior to you, submit this way, entirely, mutually.
4:04
SPEAKER_00: I submit to you, you submit to me, I submit to you, you submit to me.
4:09
SPEAKER_00: In every single relationship, the picture that Paul's actually painting here is a bit like we're going to have a submit off.
4:16
SPEAKER_00: I'm going to try to out-submit you, and you're going to try to out-submit me.
4:21
SPEAKER_00: I'm going to get lower and lower and lower and lower and lower, and we're going to have this little, you see what's going on?
4:27
SPEAKER_00: I'm going to submit, and you're going to submit, and you're going to submit, and I'm going to submit.
4:31
SPEAKER_00: We're going to submit.
4:33
SPEAKER_00: All of us are going to mutually submit.
4:36
SPEAKER_00: And he drops that bomb in a world that was absolutely reeking with hierarchy, obsessed with hierarchy, would have been utterly, entirely, totally, completely, I can't emphasize it enough, shocking.
4:50
SPEAKER_00: Richter scale, 10 shocking.
4:53
SPEAKER_00: But what's Paul do?
4:55
SPEAKER_00: He levels the playing field.
4:58
SPEAKER_00: He absolutely levels the play.
5:00
SPEAKER_00: And by the way, the book of Ephesians isn't the only place he does it.
5:02
SPEAKER_00: There's neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male or female, for all are what?
5:07
SPEAKER_00: One in Christ Jesus.
5:10
SPEAKER_00: He levels the playing field at the foot of the cross of Jesus Christ.
5:15
SPEAKER_00: And he says, friends, it's all about humility.
5:17
SPEAKER_00: It's all about the self-giving, self-sacrificing love of Jesus Christ that actually compelled our Savior, the one and only Son of God, the Messiah, to step out of heaven, zip himself into one of these earth suits, to condescend himself down here to our level.
5:32
SPEAKER_00: Show us what life his way looks like for 33 some years.
5:36
SPEAKER_00: And then go to the cross to die on the cross for the forgiveness of all of the sins of humanity.
5:40
SPEAKER_00: Everybody who ever lived for all time paid the price.
5:45
SPEAKER_00: It's done.
5:46
SPEAKER_00: It's finished.
5:47
SPEAKER_00: Which means submit to one another out of reverence for Christ isn't just like this, you, me.
5:54
SPEAKER_00: This is actually gospel of Jesus Christ level stuff.
5:59
SPEAKER_00: It's about what Jesus did for every person, male or female, powerful or powerless, are all, every one of us, invited to bend our knee first and foremost to Christ.
6:13
SPEAKER_00: He's the savior of my life, he's the boss of my life, he's the life manager of my life.
6:17
SPEAKER_00: He calls the shots in my life, and then set out to serve others, to submit to others, to yield to others.
6:29
SPEAKER_00: Paul was flipping everything in the first century right on its head, the entire social order.
6:34
SPEAKER_00: He's setting it squarely on its head.
6:36
SPEAKER_00: He's not just writing about manners.
6:38
SPEAKER_00: He's not just saying some trite little thing like, hey, you Christians, go be nice to each other, lose the road rage, whatever.
6:46
SPEAKER_00: He's not doing that.
6:48
SPEAKER_00: That's cute.
6:50
SPEAKER_00: And Paul's like, no, no, no, no, no, not that.
6:53
SPEAKER_00: It's like the declaration of a revolution, a new way of living and thinking, a revolution of love in the molden model of Jesus Christ.
7:03
SPEAKER_00: Humility and mutuality and equality all in Jesus.
7:10
SPEAKER_00: It's really what it really is.
7:11
SPEAKER_00: It's like a gut punch to our pride, isn't it?
7:14
SPEAKER_00: And we get proud.
7:15
SPEAKER_00: Does anybody in this room struggle with pride?
7:18
SPEAKER_00: I'm the world's foremost expert on humility, as a matter of fact.
7:22
SPEAKER_00: And so no.
7:24
SPEAKER_00: Come on, raise your hand.
7:25
SPEAKER_00: We all, every single hand ought to be up.
7:27
SPEAKER_00: We all struggle.
7:28
SPEAKER_00: Come on, I see some dishonest Christians in this room.
7:32
SPEAKER_00: We all struggle with pride.
7:35
SPEAKER_00: And this is like a gut punch, but submit to one another out of reverence for Christ is like a gut punch to our pride.
7:43
SPEAKER_00: You don't get to do it.
7:45
SPEAKER_00: Knock it off.
7:47
SPEAKER_00: Because why?
7:48
SPEAKER_00: When we submit to one another, it all becomes about the other person in the relationship.
7:53
SPEAKER_00: Whoever the other person is, whatever the relationship is, it doesn't matter what the relationship is.
7:57
SPEAKER_00: It becomes about the other person.
7:59
SPEAKER_00: Did you hear about the dinner party where they actually said there's a bit of research?
8:04
SPEAKER_00: They sent a guy into this dinner party, big dinner party, a bunch of people there, and they sent a guy in and they said, here's what we want you to do.
8:11
SPEAKER_00: We want you to actually never talk about yourself.
8:13
SPEAKER_00: We just want you to work the room quite literally, only asking the other people about themselves.
8:22
SPEAKER_00: When they would turn a question back, and so he did, and when they would turn a question back on him, what about you?
8:26
SPEAKER_00: He would flip the question right back on them.
8:29
SPEAKER_00: And he would just ask questions and ask questions and ask questions and ask questions, and it was all about them.
8:36
SPEAKER_00: All about them.
8:38
SPEAKER_00: The whole dinner party goes on, the night is over, it was an amazing gathering, and they sent everybody out the door, and they had a bunch of surveyors standing right outside the door where everybody was coming out.
8:47
SPEAKER_00: And he said, Who was the most fascinating person in that entire room?
8:52
SPEAKER_00: Who do you think every single person said?
8:54
SPEAKER_00: That guy, the guy who was way more interested in everybody else, never talked about himself, only engaged people about them.
9:02
SPEAKER_00: It was him, because it's not meant to be about us.
9:07
SPEAKER_00: Submit to one another.
9:09
SPEAKER_00: It's one of the keys to relational success in our lives, is to make your life actually all about other people's lives.
9:17
SPEAKER_00: And by the way, you cannot fake this.
9:20
SPEAKER_00: There's no way that you can fake, submit to one another.
9:25
SPEAKER_00: The other thing that's true about it is there's no way that you can possibly do it on just charm or willpower.
9:31
SPEAKER_00: You could maybe do it for like five minutes, maybe.
9:34
SPEAKER_00: But you won't make it out of the parking lot, just going like, oh, I'm gonna submit, I just gotta submit, I'm gonna white knuckle this, try harder, pull myself up by my boots.
9:43
SPEAKER_00: You can't do it.
9:44
SPEAKER_00: It'll never happen.
9:46
SPEAKER_00: And that's really important because again, order in the Bible matters, doesn't it?
9:49
SPEAKER_00: That verse, submit to one another, comes after.
9:51
SPEAKER_00: Look, we go up just three verses from where we are right now.
9:54
SPEAKER_00: Ephesians chapter 5, verse 18.
9:57
SPEAKER_00: Look what Paul says.
9:58
SPEAKER_00: The order of things matters.
10:00
SPEAKER_00: What's he say?
10:01
SPEAKER_00: Uh starting out in verse 18, do not get what?
10:07
SPEAKER_00: Do not get drunk on wine, he says.
10:09
SPEAKER_00: By the way, that is not a biblical loop loophole.
10:12
unknown: Right?
10:12
SPEAKER_00: It does not give you permission to get drunk on other things besides wine.
10:16
SPEAKER_00: The Bible says, just don't get drunk on wine.
10:19
SPEAKER_00: Lot of other options in that beverage cooler, isn't there, right?
10:23
SPEAKER_00: That's not what he's saying.
10:25
SPEAKER_00: Don't get drunk on anything, he says.
10:29
SPEAKER_00: Don't just don't do it.
10:31
SPEAKER_00: Why not?
10:32
SPEAKER_00: Because it leads to what?
10:33
SPEAKER_00: What's that next word?
10:34
SPEAKER_00: Because it leads to debauchery.
10:37
SPEAKER_00: Now it's a big hairy word, and anytime you run into a big hairy word, just like, I want to stay away from whatever that is.
10:43
SPEAKER_00: It's gotta be bad if I don't even know what it means.
10:45
SPEAKER_00: Right?
10:46
SPEAKER_00: Don't get drunk on wine or anything else which leads to debauchery.
10:50
SPEAKER_00: Just stay out of that's a whole nother sermon for a whole nother day, and I'm gonna leave Wesley for that one.
10:55
SPEAKER_00: But look at what he says next.
10:56
SPEAKER_00: Instead be filled with the what?
11:00
SPEAKER_00: Instead be filled with the Spirit.
11:03
SPEAKER_00: Instead be filled with the Spirit.
11:06
SPEAKER_00: So the assumption, see, that Paul's making about everything in Ephesians chapter 6, which by which by the way, all of this is just introductory.
11:14
SPEAKER_00: We haven't even gotten to it yet.
11:15
SPEAKER_00: Is that okay?
11:15
SPEAKER_00: Did you pack a lunch today when you came to church?
11:18
SPEAKER_00: Buckle in for a while.
11:18
SPEAKER_00: We'll need some more muffins back there, I think, right?
11:22
SPEAKER_00: It's all foundational for everything else that Paul talks about in Ephesians chapter 6.
11:28
SPEAKER_00: The assumption Paul is making when he writes what's in Ephesians chapter 6 is that we are following and living out the command of Ephesians chapter 5, verse 18, which is we are spirit-filled, not self-filled.
11:43
SPEAKER_00: Be spirit-filled, spirit of God filled, not self-filled.
11:50
SPEAKER_00: Because Paul knows the Holy Spirit of God-filled people that give control, they yield control of their lives over to Jesus, that he then is the, watch this, engine empowering us to go live out every single thing that follows.
12:06
SPEAKER_00: And when we're honest, when we think about these, all these commands, submit and love and serve, and all the commands to us all throughout the Bible, they feel impossible to us just in our flesh.
12:20
SPEAKER_00: There's no way that we could ever pull all of that stuff out.
12:23
SPEAKER_00: And God goes, that's why I gave you the Holy Spirit of God.
12:25
SPEAKER_00: He's the engine.
12:26
SPEAKER_00: Right?
12:27
SPEAKER_00: And so then it's not impossible anymore because he's the engine, he's inside of you, he's empowering you, he's the one who's actually doing it.
12:33
SPEAKER_00: We do have a part to play.
12:34
SPEAKER_00: We partner with the Holy Spirit in all of that.
12:36
SPEAKER_00: Isn't just passivity?
12:37
SPEAKER_00: I'm just gonna lay here like I'm at the spa and let the Holy Spirit tend it.
12:41
SPEAKER_00: We actually have a part to play in it.
12:45
SPEAKER_00: But with him, they move from impossible to supernatural.
12:49
SPEAKER_00: It can happen.
12:50
SPEAKER_00: And guys, this is what happens when the Holy Spirit of God gets a grip and gets a hold of ordinary sinners like you and me and transformationally saves us by the power of the blood of Jesus Christ.
13:07
SPEAKER_00: And we get filled with the Holy Spirit, and we get lit up by the Holy Spirit of God living inside of us, compelling us, sending us to start living and serving other people.
13:18
SPEAKER_00: And when we go live and serve and love other people, it's like we're people who understand what we've been rescued from, and that compels us even more, which means we serve and we submit and we love in very costly and very tangible ways.
13:35
SPEAKER_00: It means you and I, we actually go out of our ways to endure inconvenience on behalf of other people.
13:40
SPEAKER_00: When was the last time you did that?
13:44
SPEAKER_00: I'm literally gonna go out of my way to endure inconvenience on behalf of someone else.
13:49
SPEAKER_00: This is the picture that Paul is painting.
13:52
SPEAKER_00: This is the picture that Jesus painted with his very life for us.
13:56
SPEAKER_00: And it gets really practical really, really quick.
13:58
SPEAKER_00: It means when we talk about submit one to another, be filled with the Holy Spirit of God, it means we actually let go of the last word.
14:07
SPEAKER_00: Ever have one of those conversations with somebody, but it's not really a conversation, it's more like an argument.
14:11
SPEAKER_00: We call it a conversation-conversation, but it's really a fight.
14:15
SPEAKER_00: It's just a fight, right?
14:16
SPEAKER_00: And and and we stand in the shower and we rehearse the last word that we're gonna come on.
14:23
SPEAKER_00: You're acting like you don't know what I'm talking about here.
14:25
SPEAKER_00: I'm not the only one that does this, right?
14:28
SPEAKER_00: And we we're like, no, no, no, no, no.
14:30
SPEAKER_00: Okay, you submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
14:34
SPEAKER_00: You can have the last word.
14:36
SPEAKER_00: You get the last word.
14:37
SPEAKER_00: I don't need to get the last word.
14:40
SPEAKER_00: Okay, just say, let me have it.
14:42
SPEAKER_00: Come on, just say it.
14:46
SPEAKER_00: The other thing this looks like is letting go like a mic drop of the right to be right.
14:53
SPEAKER_00: I'm just gonna Okay, you're okay, you're right.
14:57
SPEAKER_00: I've just said what I'm gonna say, and you think you're right, so okay, I'm gonna let go of the right to be right.
15:04
SPEAKER_00: And then uh anyone keep a scorecard in relationship?
15:08
SPEAKER_00: You know that you know the relational scorecard?
15:10
SPEAKER_00: Any married people in the room?
15:11
SPEAKER_00: This is particularly pointed for for married people.
15:15
SPEAKER_00: You know, we keep it right back here, we pull it out, we're like, Well, she let me down here.
15:21
SPEAKER_00: One point for her.
15:24
SPEAKER_00: One to zero.
15:25
SPEAKER_00: Who's doing the better now?
15:28
SPEAKER_00: Right?
15:29
SPEAKER_00: We actually give up the scorecard.
15:32
SPEAKER_00: I'm not keeping the score.
15:33
SPEAKER_00: I don't care.
15:34
SPEAKER_00: You okay?
15:35
SPEAKER_00: Yes, you're right.
15:36
SPEAKER_00: I blow it all the time, and I'm sorry, and please forgive me, and let's move on.
15:40
SPEAKER_00: But there's no score.
15:42
SPEAKER_00: Mutual submission actually resembles humility that bleeds out, guys.
15:48
SPEAKER_00: Mutual submission looks like humility that bleeds out its gospel stuff.
15:53
SPEAKER_00: And this is the last thing I'm gonna say before I move on to the verses that we're actually supposed to be talking about today.
15:59
SPEAKER_00: Right?
15:59
SPEAKER_00: Ephesians 5, 21, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
16:05
SPEAKER_00: When we go live this command out to mutually submit to others in our lives, it isn't just about this life.
16:12
SPEAKER_00: Is it just about right here, right now, these relatively brief maybe if we're lucky, we get 80 some or 90-some years in this life.
16:21
SPEAKER_00: It's not just about how many years God gives us here and now.
16:25
SPEAKER_00: It's about eternity, is it not?
16:28
SPEAKER_00: When we go love and serve and submit mutually to people, what we're actually doing is we're pointing them to Jesus, who is absolutely and entirely interested in people's here and now.
16:40
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely, but he's also very, very, very interested in people's eternity, their forever, especially them spending forever and ever in heaven with him someday.
16:52
SPEAKER_00: Amen to that.
16:53
SPEAKER_00: All right, let's get to the actual passage for today.
16:55
SPEAKER_00: That's all just foundational.
16:57
SPEAKER_00: Children, obey your parents, starting in verse 1 of Ephesians 6.
17:01
SPEAKER_00: Obey your parents in the Lord, for this is what this is right.
17:06
SPEAKER_00: Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment, with a promise.
17:11
SPEAKER_00: So that may go well with you, and so that you may enjoy long life on the earth.
17:17
SPEAKER_00: You see the progression even in the right one thing before the other.
17:21
SPEAKER_00: Order absolutely mattered.
17:23
SPEAKER_00: There's movement all through the sacred text.
17:26
SPEAKER_00: There's movement in and through these verses.
17:29
SPEAKER_00: Paul starts by saying, What?
17:30
SPEAKER_00: Where do we all begin?
17:31
SPEAKER_00: We're all, every single one of us at some point in our life is a what?
17:35
SPEAKER_00: Child.
17:36
SPEAKER_00: We all are.
17:37
SPEAKER_00: He starts with children.
17:39
SPEAKER_00: What?
17:40
SPEAKER_00: Obey.
17:41
SPEAKER_00: It's a beautiful thing he's doing there.
17:43
SPEAKER_00: He's not in any way trying to chain us to childhood, which is what we all think obey is doing.
17:50
SPEAKER_00: He's trying to just chain us to staying small, staying under, stay.
17:56
SPEAKER_00: Isn't that?
17:57
SPEAKER_00: By the way, when we're all young, every single one of us has felt at some point, especially when we're young, we feel constrained, don't we, by having to obey our parents.
18:06
SPEAKER_00: Do you remember those days when you felt, maybe there's some of you even here today who feel constrained?
18:10
SPEAKER_00: Come on, show of hands.
18:11
SPEAKER_00: Anybody feel constrained?
18:12
SPEAKER_00: Yes, absolutely.
18:14
SPEAKER_00: Don't raise your hand if you're sitting next to the person who is constraining you, maybe.
18:17
SPEAKER_00: That would be a little weird, right?
18:20
SPEAKER_00: We feel constrained.
18:22
SPEAKER_00: We don't want to obey.
18:24
SPEAKER_00: We want to assert our independence.
18:28
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna point out that they're gonna hate me for this.
18:30
SPEAKER_00: These are four of our daughters, right?
18:31
SPEAKER_00: We have nine daughters, and and these are four of come on, girls, give them a wave right here.
18:35
SPEAKER_00: We got four, our four daughters right here.
18:36
SPEAKER_00: Every single, yeah, they're amazing, beautiful girls.
18:40
SPEAKER_00: And by the way, every single day of their lives, especially as teenagers, they're trying to assert their independence, right?
18:48
SPEAKER_00: That's what that's what they're doing.
18:49
SPEAKER_00: And actually, they're supposed to do that.
18:51
SPEAKER_00: That's the job of parents, to actually launch them.
18:54
SPEAKER_00: I don't want them to stay in the little kid mode for all of their lives.
18:58
SPEAKER_00: That they're with us for the season.
19:00
SPEAKER_00: We're going to launch them eventually, right?
19:03
SPEAKER_00: You are gonna be launched eventually, right?
19:05
SPEAKER_00: Not gonna stay home forever and ever, right?
19:08
SPEAKER_00: We got a deal, right?
19:10
SPEAKER_00: In front of all these witnesses, you said it, not forever, right?
19:14
SPEAKER_00: They're asserting their independence, right?
19:17
SPEAKER_00: We don't want to obey, right?
19:20
SPEAKER_00: Which, by the way, that when we are young is absolutely ridiculous that we would try, as young people, to assert independence.
19:31
SPEAKER_00: Like, who at 10 years old is anywhere close to being capable of being independent?
19:36
SPEAKER_00: Yet every 10-year-old's trying to do it, they're flexing their wings, they're trying to start, they're trying to figure it out, or or or it's more common even at 15 years old.
19:44
SPEAKER_00: What 15-year-old is capable of asserting their independent?
19:48
SPEAKER_00: That's bananas.
19:49
SPEAKER_00: No one is capable of asserting independence at those ages, yet we all, show of hands, think we were, don't we?
19:57
SPEAKER_00: Our granddaughter.
19:59
SPEAKER_00: And my wife and I, we we have 13 kids, we have one granddaughter, we have two more grandkids on the way.
20:03
SPEAKER_00: We're gonna have a mess of grandkids, it's gonna be amazing.
20:06
SPEAKER_00: Have to have name tags at Christmas, right?
20:08
SPEAKER_00: Who are all these kids, right?
20:10
SPEAKER_00: And our granddaughter, Amelia, is her name, she's almost two years old, and she's absolutely uh incredible.
20:15
SPEAKER_00: Uh and at two years old, she does not in any way want to obey anyone.
20:19
SPEAKER_00: She doesn't want to obey her mom, not her dad, not her grandma, who, by the way, she calls her grandma Bunny.
20:24
SPEAKER_00: I have no idea it's the weirdest thing.
20:26
SPEAKER_00: My wife's terribly embarrassed when they go out in public.
20:28
SPEAKER_00: They got this little two-year-old going like, Bunny, bunny, like what?
20:31
SPEAKER_00: Bunny, that's so weird.
20:33
SPEAKER_00: But she doesn't want to obey anybody.
20:35
SPEAKER_00: I'm Papa, by the way, she calls me Papa.
20:38
SPEAKER_00: She wants to be independent.
20:40
SPEAKER_00: Her favorite thing, absolutely favorite thing these days, is when someone, anyone, it doesn't matter, her parents, uh, my wife, I, uh, you know, grandparents, uh, even some of the, these are babysitters right here, by the way.
20:50
SPEAKER_00: They they babysit the granddaughter, right?
20:53
SPEAKER_00: They're like, hey, Amelia, let's not play with the bottle of Clorox bleach, shall we?
20:57
SPEAKER_00: Let's let's not play with the bottle of Clorox bleach, please.
21:00
SPEAKER_00: And you know what her favorite thing to say when you command her, ask her to do, tell her to not do anything?
21:05
SPEAKER_00: She says, stop, stop, and she just turns a little, stop, and she turns her head away and she kind of pushes you away.
21:10
SPEAKER_00: Stop, stop, stop, stop.
21:12
SPEAKER_00: What's she doing?
21:13
SPEAKER_00: She's trying to assert her independence.
21:15
SPEAKER_00: And so when she says stop, we're just like, all right, keep playing with the bottle of Clorox bleach, you know, have at it.
21:19
SPEAKER_00: See how that goes?
21:20
SPEAKER_00: We don't, by the way.
21:22
SPEAKER_00: That's not true.
21:23
SPEAKER_00: She's trying to assert independence at two years old, which is ridiculous.
21:29
SPEAKER_00: It is wild.
21:30
SPEAKER_00: Why?
21:31
SPEAKER_00: Because at two years old, she actually needs her parents, she actually needs her grandparents because we're trying.
21:37
SPEAKER_00: What are we trying to do?
21:38
SPEAKER_00: What's the reason that we tell Amelia to obey?
21:42
SPEAKER_00: Boil it all down.
21:43
SPEAKER_00: What are we doing?
21:44
SPEAKER_00: We're trying to keep her alive.
21:47
SPEAKER_00: Literally.
21:49
SPEAKER_00: Obey us because we are trying to keep you alive.
21:54
SPEAKER_00: And Paul's doing it here.
21:55
SPEAKER_00: He's teaching it this progression of maturity.
22:01
SPEAKER_00: And see how it works is when we're young, obedience is like the classroom where we learn to do the next thing he talks about, which is to honor, isn't it?
22:09
SPEAKER_00: Obedience is the classroom in which we learn to do the next thing.
22:14
SPEAKER_00: When we were kids, we obey our parents because our parents know and see way more than we do.
22:22
SPEAKER_00: They've lived some life, they've got some reps in, they've done it, they've accomplished something.
22:27
SPEAKER_00: They've accomplished something all the way to.
22:30
SPEAKER_00: They had a kid, right?
22:31
SPEAKER_00: That's something.
22:34
SPEAKER_00: But Amelia, two years old, she doesn't process the full weight of her choices yet.
22:38
SPEAKER_00: She's brilliant, by the way.
22:39
SPEAKER_00: She's the smartest two-year-old you've ever seen in your entire life, smartest two-year-old to ever walk the planet.
22:44
SPEAKER_00: As a matter of fact, that's a joke, by the way, right?
22:46
SPEAKER_00: But grandparent doesn't say that about their grandkids.
22:49
SPEAKER_00: But she doesn't understand the full weight of her choices yet.
22:53
SPEAKER_00: She doesn't understand the consequence that if she runs out into traffic, it could be catastrophic for her.
23:02
SPEAKER_00: She can't assimilate all of that, but her parents know that, her grandparents know that.
23:06
SPEAKER_00: So when we say, Amelia, hold my hand, please, her saying, stop, stop, don't bother me.
23:12
SPEAKER_00: I want to do my own thing.
23:14
SPEAKER_00: We're trying to keep her alive.
23:17
SPEAKER_00: But then we grow up, don't we?
23:19
SPEAKER_00: Just like a bunch of us in this room.
23:21
SPEAKER_00: We all are growing up.
23:22
SPEAKER_00: Which means we don't continue necessarily to obey everything our parents tell us to do or not do, right?
23:31
SPEAKER_00: But instead, then we make this transition, the transition that Paul paints here.
23:35
SPEAKER_00: We grow into honoring the people who once guided us, who once, quote, constrained us by telling us to obey.
23:48
SPEAKER_00: It's like obedience fades with age, but honor never ever expires.
23:53
SPEAKER_00: The word honor here literally means give weight to.
23:58
SPEAKER_00: It's weighty, it's valuable.
24:00
SPEAKER_00: It means that as we grow up, we make intentional and conscious decisions that our parents, even with their imperfections, show of hands if your parents have imperfections.
24:09
SPEAKER_00: Come on, let's just say, I'm a parent and I have many.
24:12
SPEAKER_00: All my daughters are raising their hands right now.
24:14
SPEAKER_00: Literally, they're like, that guy up there has a whole slew of them.
24:18
SPEAKER_00: Right?
24:19
SPEAKER_00: We make intentional and conscious decisions to honor our parents, imperfections and all, and this understanding that they matter to us.
24:29
SPEAKER_00: And we give them that weight, you you matter, and we honor them for it.
24:34
SPEAKER_00: Right?
24:35
SPEAKER_00: We might not agree with them.
24:37
SPEAKER_00: We might not agree with them.
24:38
SPEAKER_00: And they might have done some things that are pretty gnarly, right?
24:43
SPEAKER_00: Which is a whole nother conversation, right?
24:46
SPEAKER_00: And I'm sorry about that for those of us who may have experienced that.
24:51
SPEAKER_00: And while we may have outgrown their rules, we still treat them with respect and gratitude and grace.
24:58
SPEAKER_00: And even I'll say this even the worst, even the worst parent, there's something still in that relationship.
25:08
SPEAKER_00: You and them, they may have been absolutely terrible.
25:11
SPEAKER_00: There's something there that you can find gratitude for, even if it's as rudimentary as you gave me life.
25:20
SPEAKER_00: And I'm really, really grateful that you gave me life.
25:22
SPEAKER_00: And there's a bunch of hard stuff around that, but you gave me life, and I'm really, really grateful to God for you in all of that.
25:32
SPEAKER_00: And also there's this, we we give grace, right?
25:36
SPEAKER_00: I actually tend to believe that most parents, every parent is is really, frankly, just doing the very, very best they can.
25:43
SPEAKER_00: Right?
25:44
SPEAKER_00: When all these kids come out of the womb, there ain't no instruction manual.
25:48
SPEAKER_00: Right?
25:49
SPEAKER_00: Tied to their little toe down there.
25:50
SPEAKER_00: It's like, oh sweet, there it is.
25:52
SPEAKER_00: It's just like trial and error.
25:54
SPEAKER_00: We're figuring it out.
25:56
SPEAKER_00: My mom tells me all the time, she's like, You're you were my first kid, and so you're like a lab rat.
26:02
SPEAKER_00: I like experimented all the stuff on you, right?
26:09
SPEAKER_00: I do.
26:10
SPEAKER_00: I have I have really great parents.
26:12
SPEAKER_00: I grew up in a great family.
26:14
SPEAKER_00: My parents are both still living, they're still together, they're in their early 70s, uh, God willing.
26:19
SPEAKER_00: They got a bunch of really great years up ahead.
26:22
SPEAKER_00: Uh and we just think as kids that our parents are gonna be around forever, don't we?
26:28
SPEAKER_00: We just kind of assume that they're gonna be around forever.
26:30
SPEAKER_00: You know, your your phone rings and and it's the, you know, whatever the mom or dad indicator is that they are calling you, right?
26:38
SPEAKER_00: It's like, oh, mom or dad, right, depending on what you're doing, right?
26:42
SPEAKER_00: That you want to be interrupt.
26:43
SPEAKER_00: That was funny, by the way.
26:44
SPEAKER_00: You're not laughing, right?
26:45
SPEAKER_00: If you're doing something that mom or dad would not want you to be doing and they're calling while you're in the middle of it, it's like, oh, that's awkward, right?
26:51
SPEAKER_00: But we just think that that call is always going to come from mom and dad, because it's gonna go on forever.
26:58
SPEAKER_00: But I'll bet you money there's people in this room whose mom or dad aren't calling them anymore.
27:04
SPEAKER_00: Because they're not around anymore.
27:06
SPEAKER_00: They lost their mom, they lost their dad.
27:07
SPEAKER_00: Maybe they lost both of them.
27:09
SPEAKER_00: And they'll be really glad to tell you that it does not go on forever.
27:15
SPEAKER_00: Uh, one of our pastors, Kevin Thompson, you may have heard of a great, great guy.
27:18
SPEAKER_00: Uh, he said at a funeral that he was a part of that I was sitting out where you're sitting, he said, your siblings are the people who you will be in relationship with the very longest in your life.
27:31
SPEAKER_00: And I was sitting there listening to Kevin talk, and I was like, is it wait, is that is that true?
27:35
SPEAKER_00: Is that even true?
27:37
SPEAKER_00: Isn't it going to be my mom and dad that I'm gonna be?
27:40
SPEAKER_00: But Kevin's absolutely right when you think about it.
27:42
SPEAKER_00: Unless you lose a sibling very early in life, it's not your parents who you will be in relationship with the very longest in your life, it's actually your siblings, which means, friends, that there's a day coming when the calls from mom and dad, mom or dad or both, are gonna cease.
28:05
SPEAKER_00: Which means part of the root of the command of everything that Paul's getting to here is that in the time that you and I still have with our parents, no matter how old we get, no matter how grown up we get, no matter how mature we think we are, we're meant all the way through to honor and give weight to and to cherish them.
28:30
SPEAKER_00: And Paul ties a promise to what he's saying, so that it may go well with you.
28:37
SPEAKER_00: Honor produces blessing.
28:40
SPEAKER_00: Not because, again, parents are not perfect, but because humility keeps our hearts soft and open to wisdom.
28:47
SPEAKER_00: You know, our culture celebrates independence, and Paul celebrates something quite different called interdependence.
28:55
SPEAKER_00: We need them.
28:57
SPEAKER_00: No matter what stage of life that we are in.
29:01
SPEAKER_00: And so we honor them because we know they poured into us, even when we've moved beyond their house, beyond their financial support, beyond their authority to compel us to do the things that they think we should do, which means that the challenge for us is to not just outgrow our parents, but instead to like out-honor them.
29:25
SPEAKER_00: Like I'm just gonna pile honor.
29:27
SPEAKER_00: Like, again, not because they were perfect, but but because they're your parents and we honor them and we give weight to the surprise your parents.
29:36
SPEAKER_00: What if you did this?
29:37
SPEAKER_00: What if you surprised your parents with gratitude?
29:40
SPEAKER_00: What if you surprise your parents with gratitude?
29:42
SPEAKER_00: I remember when I was about 21 or 22 years old, I had this conversation where actually very quite quite formally, I I think they thought they were in trouble or something.
29:50
SPEAKER_00: I was like, Mom, dad, I want to talk to you for a minute.
29:51
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna sit them down and like, oh geez, never done this before.
29:55
SPEAKER_00: I was back from college and I sat him down, and I said, Mom, dad, uh I I just have to, and it was quite emotional, it was quite tender, actually.
30:05
SPEAKER_00: I said, uh, I'm I'm really, really sorry, guys, for the past 21 or 22 years of my life thinking that you are idiots, and thinking that you're stupid, and thinking that you are know-nothings.
30:19
SPEAKER_00: Which, which, by the way, I won't make you raise your hand, but a whole bunch of people think that about their mom and dad, don't they?
30:24
SPEAKER_00: They just they they just think they are, especially in the teenage years, right, girls?
30:29
SPEAKER_00: You know, exactly.
30:30
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, don't look at us, they're saying.
30:33
SPEAKER_00: Right?
30:33
SPEAKER_00: A lot of us think that about our parents.
30:36
SPEAKER_00: You know, right?
30:36
SPEAKER_00: Like there we are at 18 years old or 15 years old or 13 years old or even 25 years old, some of us thinking that we know everything, that I'm the smartest person in the world, and that everyone else, especially my parents, are the dumbest people in the world.
30:51
SPEAKER_00: This is what we do.
30:53
SPEAKER_00: And so I just I had this conversation with them, and I said, it was actually me, guys.
30:57
SPEAKER_00: I was like, I was the idiot.
31:00
SPEAKER_00: I was the stupid one, I was the literal know nothing.
31:04
SPEAKER_00: I had nothing figured out, guys, but I thought that I did.
31:09
SPEAKER_00: I thought I knew it all.
31:11
SPEAKER_00: And I told them how amazing they are, and I told them how smart they are.
31:17
SPEAKER_00: And I told them how grateful I am and was and will always be for some very specific things that they had done and said in my life and taught me and instilled into me.
31:29
SPEAKER_00: And and I I don't tell you that story to like make anyone go do that, but but I just invite you to we just we just consider.
31:36
SPEAKER_00: Like maybe that's a conversation, and and don't do it if you can't do it with integrity.
31:41
SPEAKER_00: Don't do it if you're not all in on that, that you don't actually believe it to your core.
31:45
SPEAKER_00: But maybe even right now you just drive a stake in the ground and go, you know, I'm I'm gonna do that.
31:49
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna do that with my folks.
31:51
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna do it over Christmas break.
31:52
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna pick up the phone this afternoon and make a call.
31:55
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna book a coffee date with mom, dad, or parent, or parent figure, whoever that is in your life, and I'm actually gonna do that very thing.
32:05
SPEAKER_00: Go sit them down and thank them.
32:08
SPEAKER_00: Thank them profusely.
32:10
SPEAKER_00: Verse 4, Paul uh moves on.
32:13
SPEAKER_00: Uh, fathers.
32:14
SPEAKER_00: Again, it's so interesting that Paul just picks up on fathers.
32:18
SPEAKER_00: Fathers do not exasperate your children as if moms never do, right?
32:23
SPEAKER_00: Come on.
32:24
SPEAKER_00: Is it why is it all just the father?
32:26
SPEAKER_00: Fathers do not exasperate your children.
32:28
SPEAKER_00: Instead, bring them up in the training and in the instruction of the Lord.
32:34
SPEAKER_00: Now, I'm sure a whole bunch of you in this room, you don't have kids yet, right?
32:38
SPEAKER_00: So you might be thinking, like, sweet, I'm off the hook here, I don't have to engage in this, I can just skip over this little section, verse four.
32:45
SPEAKER_00: Uh it doesn't matter, though, whether you have kids right now or not.
32:49
SPEAKER_00: Some of us here do, but by the stats, just simply by the stats, 85 to 90 of us will have kids.
32:56
SPEAKER_00: 85 to 90% of us will have kids at some point.
33:01
SPEAKER_00: But even still, even if you're in the very extreme minority that don't have kids, there's still application that goes, listen to me, way, way, way beyond parenting.
33:10
SPEAKER_00: Because it is in the stretch for us to say that what Paul's talking about is, you could write this word down.
33:16
SPEAKER_00: What he's talking about in verse 4 is the kind of culture that you'll build around you, all around you, in every setting that you ever step into, in all of your relationships, in all of your friendships, in all of your vocational life, in your future home, in your neighborhood, wherever.
33:35
SPEAKER_00: Do not exasperate, literally, you know what it literally means?
33:39
SPEAKER_00: Don't poke the bear.
33:41
SPEAKER_00: Don't poke the bear.
33:43
SPEAKER_00: And all of us as teenagers, we've we felt like our kids were just constantly poking the bear.
33:48
SPEAKER_00: Don't, which means like, don't frustrate, don't provoke, don't, here, watch this one.
33:54
SPEAKER_00: Don't wear people down.
33:58
SPEAKER_00: Right?
33:58
SPEAKER_00: Don't wear people down.
34:00
SPEAKER_00: And some of us, we may have grown up with the kind of parents who yelled way more than they listened, right?
34:06
SPEAKER_00: Or maybe they just went silent and off the grid, and maybe they just disappeared when things got hard.
34:12
SPEAKER_00: And Paul's grabbing us by the shirt front and going, like, whatever you do, don't repeat that.
34:16
SPEAKER_00: You got the opportunity to turn the page, start a new culture, uh, a new branch of the family tree that's going to be different than the trunk that you grew up.
34:27
SPEAKER_00: Don't repeat that pattern.
34:28
SPEAKER_00: You can actually flip it.
34:31
SPEAKER_00: And again, you know this because Wesley's taught you all this already.
34:33
SPEAKER_00: In Paul's world, Roman dads were basically CEOs of their homes.
34:39
SPEAKER_00: The very worst kind of CEOs with total authority and no HR department.
34:46
SPEAKER_00: Absolutely none whatsoever, right?
34:48
SPEAKER_00: And Paul says, no, no, no, no, no.
34:50
SPEAKER_00: You don't get to live that way, you don't get to be that way.
34:52
SPEAKER_00: This is a brand new model.
34:55
SPEAKER_00: Godly leadership is not about barking orders, it's about building people in any setting.
35:02
SPEAKER_00: Whether you're a father of children, a mother of children, leading an organization, in any setting.
35:09
SPEAKER_00: It's about building people, about culture.
35:13
SPEAKER_00: It's all about the culture we create in our homes, every single where we go.
35:19
SPEAKER_00: And my girls can tell you, they'll be honest with you, I get this wrong more than I get this right, I promise.
35:23
SPEAKER_00: That's why I brought them here today.
35:24
SPEAKER_00: They're like live lie detectors right here on the second row for you, just telling truth from fiction.
35:32
SPEAKER_00: And I don't mean to do it, but sometimes I do this.
35:36
SPEAKER_00: I've literally seen it.
35:37
SPEAKER_00: Where the things I say actually have a spirit-crushing effect on my kids, right?
35:49
SPEAKER_00: And when you have 13 kids, right, patience can run a little thin and pressure can run a little high.
35:55
SPEAKER_00: And dang it, when you got nine daughters, right, you want to talk about how late you are to every single thing because nobody can get ready on time.
36:02
SPEAKER_00: It's like no comprehension of a clock.
36:06
SPEAKER_00: Like, what are you even telling sorry, women, I'm not picking on you.
36:09
SPEAKER_00: I'm just I'm talking about my kids, right?
36:12
SPEAKER_00: But I've seen it.
36:13
SPEAKER_00: The things I say, and not even just the things I say, but but the tone with which I say it crushes their spirit instead of cultivating their spirit, right?
36:26
SPEAKER_00: And that's our job.
36:28
SPEAKER_00: That's our job.
36:29
SPEAKER_00: Not again, not just parents.
36:31
SPEAKER_00: But you think about boss relationships, right?
36:33
SPEAKER_00: A boss's job in the workplace is actually to cultivate that spirit in them.
36:39
SPEAKER_00: And parents, you know this.
36:40
SPEAKER_00: We get so focused on correcting behavior, we get focused on my agenda, my lack of patience, my lack of sleep, whatever it is, the stress that doesn't even come from home, that comes from the rest of life, that I make a room heavy sometimes.
36:57
SPEAKER_00: You know what I'm talking about?
36:58
SPEAKER_00: Where I actually make a room heavy.
37:01
SPEAKER_00: I land heavy on them because I forget that my words weigh more than I realize they do.
37:09
SPEAKER_00: Right?
37:10
SPEAKER_00: And it's like it's it's almost like this.
37:12
SPEAKER_00: What Paul's saying, that don't exasperate your children.
37:15
SPEAKER_00: Don't exasperate your employees, don't exasperate anybody in your life.
37:22
SPEAKER_00: There's this thermostat that God wants us to be in all of those settings.
37:27
SPEAKER_00: Lots of us, you know, we like to be thermometers.
37:29
SPEAKER_00: Like where we walk into a room and go, whoa, what's going on in here, right?
37:33
SPEAKER_00: Feels like something in here, and we're measuring the tension in the air or whatever is going on.
37:38
SPEAKER_00: But God's like, no, no, no, you don't just get to be a thermometer.
37:41
SPEAKER_00: You are a thermostat because you are actually adjusting what you do and what you say to set the culture of an environment in particular.
37:53
SPEAKER_00: Paul's talking to family, but it applies to every other thing.
37:56
SPEAKER_00: Don't just be a thermometer, you are a thermostat.
38:00
SPEAKER_00: Bringing health and life and love and cultivating spirits in every single setting that you're ever in.
38:09
SPEAKER_00: Paul says, bring them up.
38:11
SPEAKER_00: Bring your kids up, bring your employees up, bring your people who you're in relationship with, bring them up, nourish them, train them, encourage.
38:24
SPEAKER_00: The very same word that Paul uses there is the word he uses when he talks about Jesus.
38:28
SPEAKER_00: Think about this: Jesus nourishing the Church of Jesus Christ.
38:32
SPEAKER_00: All of us.
38:34
SPEAKER_00: In other words, we don't just raise our kids, parents.
38:38
SPEAKER_00: We actually raise the atmosphere.
38:39
SPEAKER_00: We're a thermostat in that atmosphere.
38:42
SPEAKER_00: And we do it everywhere we go.
38:44
SPEAKER_00: Men, women alike, even with people who aren't our kids.
38:47
SPEAKER_00: By the way, like we just consider where where are we right now?
38:50
SPEAKER_00: What town are we in right now?
38:52
SPEAKER_00: Come on, come on, come on, just say it.
38:55
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that was not all of you.
38:56
SPEAKER_00: Where are we right now?
38:58
SPEAKER_00: We're in Davis, is exactly right.
39:00
SPEAKER_00: And a whole bunch of you in this room, I know you're you're part of literally one of the most remarkable universities on the face of the planet.
39:07
SPEAKER_00: Do you realize that?
39:08
SPEAKER_00: You do, right?
39:10
SPEAKER_00: You absolutely do.
39:10
SPEAKER_00: That's why you're here.
39:12
SPEAKER_00: A place that like shapes innovators and thinkers and artists and scientists and leaders.
39:20
SPEAKER_00: And can I just challenge you with this thought?
39:22
SPEAKER_00: What if God put you here, not just so you could achieve for your own gain, which you'll have a ton of opportunity to do, doubtless.
39:32
SPEAKER_00: Right?
39:32
SPEAKER_00: You get a UC Davis diploma and it's like, right, doors just like, whoa, doors open and open and open and open.
39:39
SPEAKER_00: But what if this isn't just about your gain?
39:42
SPEAKER_00: But what if it's actually about you reimagining what leadership and culture looks like at its very core?
39:50
SPEAKER_00: Are you hearing what I'm saying?
39:51
SPEAKER_00: Like you actually have an opportunity to thermostat all of that stuff in very significant ways on very significant platforms for a very, very, very long time.
40:05
SPEAKER_00: And you look at our world right now, guys, and and and it's I don't know how else to say it, but it's groaning under the weight of leaders who live with exasperation.
40:19
SPEAKER_00: Right?
40:20
SPEAKER_00: They exasper at they exasperate and exasperate and exasperate.
40:24
SPEAKER_00: It's like their constant default setting.
40:28
SPEAKER_00: They divide and they drain and they dominate, they exhaust and they crush spirits underneath their feet.
40:38
SPEAKER_00: And what if you're a generation that leads different?
40:46
SPEAKER_00: A generation whose brilliance is matched by your humility, whose influence flows from your integrity, whose authority is expressed through your empathy.
41:00
SPEAKER_00: Paul's words echo down through time, thousands of years.
41:05
SPEAKER_00: Do not exasperate, bring them up.
41:09
SPEAKER_00: Those are the kind of leaders that God is raising up, not the kind that burn people out and crush spirits, but the ones who lift them up for the purpose of them lighting the way for others to follow for the rest of time.
41:24
SPEAKER_00: And it doesn't matter, I don't care what field you end up in.
41:27
SPEAKER_00: Medicine or law or business or tech or arts, entertainment, public service, you this is your opportunity.
41:34
SPEAKER_00: Lead with humility, not ego, lead with conviction, not with control.
41:38
SPEAKER_00: Thermostat, the culture of all of those settings.
41:44
SPEAKER_00: It's why you're here.
41:45
SPEAKER_00: It's the gift that God's given you, and you're gonna launch pad out of this into all of the rest of that.
41:54
SPEAKER_00: Alright.
41:55
SPEAKER_00: Do I have enough time to are we am I okay?
41:57
SPEAKER_00: Am I doing all right, Wesley?
41:58
SPEAKER_00: He's like, yeah, he's wait, he was he was going his head like this, but he was gonna like keep going.
42:02
SPEAKER_00: So I'm not sure what that means.
42:04
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
42:05
SPEAKER_00: He's gonna close out this section, I guess.
42:07
SPEAKER_00: I'm just gonna do a little tiny, a little tiny thing here, and I'm gonna leave a lot on the table for Wesley to clean up next week or something like that.
42:15
SPEAKER_00: So Paul closes out this section by talking about slaves and masters, which by the way is a very difficult, very challenging, uh very uh one of the most controversial pieces in the entirety of the of the Bible is this uh right here.
42:30
SPEAKER_00: And and I'll say it this way, I I really just personally speaking, I really wish that Paul would have stepped up to the pages of his letter to the church in Ephesus 2,000 years ago and just very, very clearly said, no more slavery.
42:43
SPEAKER_00: I just wish he would have drawn the line in the sand and go gone like knock it off.
42:48
SPEAKER_00: Just stop.
42:50
SPEAKER_00: But he he doesn't do it, does he?
42:53
SPEAKER_00: You notice, right?
42:54
SPEAKER_00: Instead, he gives like instructions for how it's supposed to work itself out.
42:59
SPEAKER_00: By the way, this is all the stuff I'll leave for Wesley to uh unpack in future weeks.
43:06
SPEAKER_00: But but because here I am, uh, and and again, because of who you are and why I think God's put you in the place that He's put you, part of the reason that He's put you on planet Earth to influence the world in transformative ways.
43:22
SPEAKER_00: Uh I I just want to make it really, really, really clear and a little bit personal for you that slavery is not just something from a bygone era.
43:31
SPEAKER_00: Right?
43:32
SPEAKER_00: As we sit here right now, lots of you know the stats probably better than I do.
43:35
SPEAKER_00: 50 million as we sit here right now, 50 million men, women, and children are enslaved right now.
43:43
SPEAKER_00: Do you hear that?
43:45
SPEAKER_00: 50 million men, women, children enslaved right now.
43:51
SPEAKER_00: That, by the way, is more than any other time in all of human history.
43:56
SPEAKER_00: 50 million.
43:58
SPEAKER_00: I was first exposed to it just A little more than a decade ago, right?
44:02
SPEAKER_00: You sort of hear about it, you know, you hear about sweatshops, and you're like, okay, but but it's far and away removed.
44:08
SPEAKER_00: And uh we were in Ethiopia to uh do some adoption process with one of the kids we adopted from there.
44:16
SPEAKER_00: Uh and you you're there for a week, and then you have to leave for a week and then you have to come back.
44:20
SPEAKER_00: And so it serves you best if you stay relatively close to Ethiopia rather than flying all the way back to the United States and turning around and flying all the way back.
44:28
SPEAKER_00: Any ever flown to Africa, right?
44:30
SPEAKER_00: You know it's a yeah, it's a jaunt, right?
44:31
SPEAKER_00: It's a little jaunt.
44:32
SPEAKER_00: And so um uh I I was uh I was a very poor pastor, we didn't have any money.
44:37
SPEAKER_00: Uh and um by the way, at that time we had seven children.
44:42
SPEAKER_00: So we were adopting our eighth child at this point, right?
44:45
SPEAKER_00: Pastor, seven kids equals no money.
44:48
SPEAKER_00: That's the equation right there.
44:50
SPEAKER_00: Some really good friends, though, had given us a little a little financial gift, and they're like, hey, on your trip to Ethiopia or whatever, here, do do go to go do something fun with it.
44:57
SPEAKER_00: I was like, oh, that's wow, that's super, super cool.
45:00
SPEAKER_00: So we're like, okay, what are we gonna do?
45:01
SPEAKER_00: This is fun.
45:02
SPEAKER_00: So we go to Ethiopia, you know, before we left, and uh we called up our travel agent.
45:05
SPEAKER_00: You know where we really wanted to go?
45:06
SPEAKER_00: We really wanted to go, I don't even know how to say it.
45:08
SPEAKER_00: We wanted to go to the Seychelles.
45:10
SPEAKER_00: Do you know the Seychelles?
45:11
SPEAKER_00: Have you ever seen these uh these islands?
45:12
SPEAKER_00: We wanted to go to the Seychelles Islands, which are absolutely remarkable.
45:15
SPEAKER_00: I want to, some of you have been to the Seychelles, you can rub my nose in it.
45:18
SPEAKER_00: That's where we wanted to go.
45:19
SPEAKER_00: So we call up our travel agent.
45:20
SPEAKER_00: We're like, hey, we'd love to go to the Seychelles, we got this little gift of money, can we go to the Seychelles?
45:25
SPEAKER_00: And she was like, not a chance on that amount of money that you have.
45:28
SPEAKER_00: Nope, not a chance, too much money.
45:29
SPEAKER_00: We're like, we don't have any more to add to it, so guess we ain't going to the Seychelles, right?
45:34
SPEAKER_00: And so I said, Okay, uh, where can we go?
45:36
SPEAKER_00: We'll be in Ethiopia.
45:37
SPEAKER_00: What's a you know, easy, like one flight, where could we go?
45:40
SPEAKER_00: And she said, uh, want to go to Dubai?
45:42
SPEAKER_00: I was like, oh, sure, Dubai.
45:45
SPEAKER_00: What I didn't really comprehend was it was July.
45:50
SPEAKER_00: July in Dubai.
45:52
SPEAKER_00: Right?
45:53
SPEAKER_00: I think the low temperature was 115 degrees.
45:57
SPEAKER_00: Quite literally.
45:58
SPEAKER_00: It was literally 121 degrees during the day in Dubai.
46:02
SPEAKER_00: It was absolutely insane.
46:03
SPEAKER_00: So we get this little resort on the sea in Dubai, and uh you know, we could venture outside at like five o'clock in the morning for a few minutes, right?
46:12
SPEAKER_00: But never in the sun.
46:13
SPEAKER_00: But we actually did.
46:14
SPEAKER_00: Uh we would go sit by the pool a little early in the morning, and and this resort where we stayed was actually kind of a club thing where if you lived there, you could actually uh pay a membership fee and use the resort facilities, which are quite nice and beautiful, beautiful pool, beautiful beach, all you know, all the stuff.
46:30
SPEAKER_00: And so we plopped down next to this expat couple who were from the United States.
46:33
SPEAKER_00: He was the uh an air traffic controller at a top secret Emirati Air Base, and we just struck up conversations.
46:38
SPEAKER_00: Turns out we found out they're followers of Jesus Christ.
46:40
SPEAKER_00: They moved there because he had to retire here, FAA forces retirement, but he could go there and still work for a bunch of years, and then so they so they did.
46:47
SPEAKER_00: And they were telling us about their church.
46:48
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, wait, there's a Christian church in Dubai?
46:51
SPEAKER_00: I had no idea.
46:52
SPEAKER_00: What are you even talking about?
46:53
SPEAKER_00: It's absolutely insane.
46:54
SPEAKER_00: And they're like, yeah, yeah.
46:54
SPEAKER_00: And one of the things our church does is uh serves the enslaved African workers here in Dubai.
47:03
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, wait, what, wait, what?
47:05
SPEAKER_00: Like, you could have knocked me over with a feather.
47:08
SPEAKER_00: I was like, what are you even talking about?
47:10
SPEAKER_00: And they told us how they go out of the way, their way, their their whole church has a ministry that pours into the young African men and women who are recruited for work in the Middle East, right?
47:24
SPEAKER_00: Picture you you you live in Africa, and there's not a lot of hope necessarily on the African continent.
47:29
SPEAKER_00: Employment is rough, unemployment is high, there's there's there's not a lot of financial future in Africa, there's not a lot of opportunity.
47:36
SPEAKER_00: You are just young people are going, what am I going to do?
47:39
SPEAKER_00: How am I gonna what am I?
47:40
SPEAKER_00: I don't have a job, I'm not gonna find a job no matter what my education is, there's no work.
47:44
SPEAKER_00: And so employment agencies show up on the African continent and they stand up and they're like, hey, need a job?
47:48
SPEAKER_00: And they're like, Yeah, yeah, absolutely I do.
47:50
SPEAKER_00: And those employment agencies recruit young African people, yeah, men and women, youngsters primarily, like in that sort of 16 to 25 or so, we'll get you a passport and we'll take you.
48:03
SPEAKER_00: You'll have work, you can send money back, it'll be an amazing life.
48:06
SPEAKER_00: And so they they they flock into these things.
48:08
SPEAKER_00: They they they flock and they put them on a plane, and then they fly them to the Middle East, and then you know what they do?
48:15
SPEAKER_00: They take their passport from them and they're and they're stuck.
48:20
SPEAKER_00: And you go, uh, have you ever seen anybody ever been to that big mall in Dubai?
48:25
SPEAKER_00: The big mall with a big uh, you know, has a big ski mountain in it, you know, and it's a crazy mall.
48:30
SPEAKER_00: A mall with a ski hill in it, quite literally, real snow.
48:33
SPEAKER_00: You put on a fur coat and go ski is crazy.
48:36
SPEAKER_00: Pose for pictures on the snow in Dubai and a fur coat inside this mall.
48:40
SPEAKER_00: We go into that mall and it it, by the way, it's sparkling.
48:43
SPEAKER_00: You you could eat off the floor in every single corner.
48:45
SPEAKER_00: You go in a bathroom at that mall, and you could literally eat off the floor of the bathroom.
48:49
SPEAKER_00: It's absolutely immaculate.
48:50
SPEAKER_00: But the dirty little secrets is you look over in the corner of that bathroom, and there'll be somewhere between a 16 and 25-year-old girl, probably from Africa, maybe India, somewhere in the world, and she spends 18 to 20 hours a day in that bathroom.
49:03
SPEAKER_00: That's all she does.
49:04
SPEAKER_00: She was one of those ones who was recruited.
49:06
SPEAKER_00: So you have a great life, you get a job, and yeah, yeah, she she certainly has a job, but she doesn't have her passport.
49:12
SPEAKER_00: She can't go anywhere.
49:13
SPEAKER_00: She is enslaved and stuck and cannot leave.
49:16
SPEAKER_00: They put her on a bus very, very early in the morning.
49:19
SPEAKER_00: They take her from her cinder blocks barracks where they live, 10 to 20 people in a cinder blocks barracks that isn't made for 10 to 20 people to live in.
49:26
SPEAKER_00: It sometimes has air conditioning, sometimes doesn't have air conditioning.
49:30
SPEAKER_00: If you get, God help you, if you get sick in that setting, because no one cares.
49:36
SPEAKER_00: Literally no one cares.
49:42
SPEAKER_00: And she's stuck.
49:43
SPEAKER_00: And she keeps the bathroom immaculate, and everyone's like, whoa, Dubai is so amazing.
49:47
SPEAKER_00: But you peel the onion a little bit, and what's behind it is about, well, it's not just Dubai, but about 50 million people, men, women, and children who are enslaved to this very day.
49:58
SPEAKER_00: And we could talk about where our clothes are made, we could talk about all of this stuff.
50:01
SPEAKER_00: It happened to me again the other day.
50:02
SPEAKER_00: I was in Ethiopia just a few weeks ago.
50:04
SPEAKER_00: Our oldest son got married in Ethiopia, married a fan.
50:08
SPEAKER_00: He lives in Portland, Oregon, but he married a spectacular woman.
50:11
SPEAKER_00: Her name is Yemi.
50:12
SPEAKER_00: Her dad's a retired Ethiopian Orthodox priest, and we traveled to Addis Ababa for the wedding ceremony, and it was absolutely awful.
50:18
SPEAKER_00: I'll talk about that a different day if I ever get invited back, maybe not, based on how things are going right now.
50:24
SPEAKER_00: And then I went to the airport, it was time to come home, and I was getting ready to give on my Emirates flight in A380, and then I saw it.
50:33
SPEAKER_00: There it was.
50:34
SPEAKER_00: Here came four or five groups, 20 to 30, young, mostly African girls.
50:41
SPEAKER_00: And these employment agencies, they they put these smocks, that's all I don't even know what else to call.
50:46
SPEAKER_00: It's like a it's like a little penny kind of a thing that they put over the top of their clothes, and it has the name of the employment agency, a bunch of phone numbers and all this stuff, you know.
50:55
SPEAKER_00: If lost, call this number.
50:56
SPEAKER_00: It's the craziest thing you've ever seen.
50:58
SPEAKER_00: And these kids who they've they've never been on a plane, they've never been at an airport, they've never been anywhere before, and so there's this excitement and enthusiasm.
51:05
SPEAKER_00: We're going, we're gonna get a job, we're gonna have work, we're gonna be able to send money back and support our families, and maybe help our family take the first step, uh, the first step onto the first rung of the economic ladder, and just maybe, just maybe, just maybe.
51:19
SPEAKER_00: And there they were, and we all got on this big old Airbus A380, been on one of those double decker thing, and and I sat down and I just piled up, guys.
51:28
SPEAKER_00: I was like, uh, this is like a modern-day slave ship right here, taking all of these beautiful, hopeful young women off to the Middle East to who knows what future where they don't even have a chance.
51:45
SPEAKER_00: No one cares whether they live or die.
51:48
SPEAKER_00: You're you're here today, sure, you do a job today, we'll pay you a little bit today, you can send a little home to your family.
51:53
SPEAKER_00: But if you die tomorrow, we don't care because we'll go get another one.
51:57
SPEAKER_00: Bust back and forth, no AC, no one cares, disposable, trapped, and this is their life.
52:04
SPEAKER_00: And when Paul wrote to slaves and masters in Ephesians chapter 6, he was not, please hear me, he was not endorsing oppression.
52:13
SPEAKER_00: I actually believed in my core he was planting the seeds of slavery's eventual destruction.
52:21
SPEAKER_00: He was sowing it in.
52:23
SPEAKER_00: Because, guys, that's what the gospel of Jesus Christ always and forever does.
52:27
SPEAKER_00: The gospel of Jesus Christ always and forever walks straight into the belly of the systems of power of the kingdom of this world and whispers, you are equals at the foot of the cross of Jesus Christ.
52:42
SPEAKER_00: And yet here we are, 20 centuries after Paul wrote this.
52:45
SPEAKER_00: Slavery still exists.
52:47
SPEAKER_00: 50 million people still traffic, trafficking, forced labor, exploitation.
52:52
SPEAKER_00: And the question isn't just how in the world can this happen?
52:56
SPEAKER_00: But I think the question for us today is what are we going to do about it?
53:00
SPEAKER_00: What are we, especially you, going to do about it?
53:04
SPEAKER_00: It isn't just policy, it isn't just protest.
53:08
SPEAKER_00: I think it's actually transformation in and through and by Jesus Christ and Jesus Christ alone.
53:15
SPEAKER_00: Because it's only transformed hearts that create a transformed world, and that's the thing that Jesus does.
53:22
SPEAKER_00: He doesn't just free us from something, he frees us for something.
53:28
SPEAKER_00: Coming to break every chain of sin and shame, exasperation and fear and addiction, and to set captives free.