Latest / The Warrior Kings Podcast : Men's Self Help Masculinity Podcast / 5 Mindset Shifts to Instantly Boost Your Confidence | The Warrior Kings Podcast Ep.96

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5 Mindset Shifts to Instantly Boost Your Confidence | The Warrior Kings Podcast Ep.96 · The Warrior Kings Podcast : Men's Self Help Masculinity Podcast

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  What if unshakable confidence is just one decision away?
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  What if you could decide today to be your true authentic self
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  and begin living the life of your dreams right now?
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  What's stopping you from making that decision if it's your first
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  time here? My name is Michael Riggs.
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  I'm a full time author, entrepreneur, men's personal
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  development and marriage mentor, husband and father of six.
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  And I teach men all over the world how to live fully
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  optimized, leveled up lives. So if that's something you're
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  into, definitely subscribe to this podcast.
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  Subscribe, subscribe to this channel, hit the like button if
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  you're on the video version of this episode because this is
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  what we do here every week. And today I'm talking about
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  confidence and giving you 5 profound mindset shifts that you
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  can implement immediately so you can finally be free to be the
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  man that you want to be and live the life that you are called to
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  live. Stick around.
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  Hello and welcome to the Warrior Kings podcast.
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  I'm your host, Michael Riggs here to assist you on your
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  journey to living a fully optimized, leveled up life as a
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  man. So again, welcome and welcome
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  back to the Warrior Kings podcast.
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  It's great to be here today. It's great to talk to you today
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  and about confidence. This might come as a surprise to
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  you, but I growing up was never a confident person.
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  I didn't consider myself a confident person.
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  I had lots of self esteem issues, lots of self doubt.
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  I considered myself an awkward and shy person.
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  That's the story that I always told myself.
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  And I did have groups of friends and girlfriends and things like
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  that growing up, but I've always been a very introverted person
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  and I was always hyper aware of what other people might be
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  thinking about me and things like that.
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  I was crippled by fear and anxiety of something might
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  happen that him that would embarrass me.
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  You know what I mean? That it was a constant feeling
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  of I can't be myself because if I'm my true authentic self,
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  that's cringy or embarrassing or things like that.
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  And you might have found this episode because that's what you
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  have been going through. And that's what we're talking
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  about today. And I'm going to share with you
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  some mindset shifts that you can implement right away to level up
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  your confidence, boost your confidence, and overall just
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  accept and be your true authentic self because there is
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  great liberating freedom in that.
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  And as men, when we're growing up, we're kind of taught that
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  confidence is a bad thing. If a guy is super confident,
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  people say, oh, he's full of himself, he's cocky, he's a
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  douchebag, things like that. And these become subconscious
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  beliefs that we hold on to. And we're like, I better not be
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  confident. I better not believe in myself
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  because if I do that, people are gonna think something of me.
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  So on one hand you have the fear of being your true self and
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  maybe anxiety about being your true self.
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  And on the other hand you have society telling you that being a
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  confident man is wrong. And that combination can stop a
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  lot of people from reaching their full potential in this
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  life. And that's why I wanted to talk
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  about this today, because true freedom comes from being your
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  authentic self, not caring what people think, and overall just
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  being a confident person. And I'd also like to say, given
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  all that, that there is nothing wrong with being a confident
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  person. If that's a belief that you
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  have, that you shouldn't be confident or that it's cringy to
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  be confident, honestly, there is absolutely nothing wrong with
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  being confident. And the first thing that I want
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  to talk about here today, the first mindset shift that you
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  need to implement to be a more confident person is that you are
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  not determined by your past. Your life is not determined by
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  your past. One of the biggest causes of
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  self esteem issues, anxiety and depression is what they call
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  ruminating on the past. Finding your life by past
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  experiences, things that happen to you, things that you might
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  have done in the past. You think that you have to carry
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  that with you in your life and that that has to determine your
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  present and your future. And ruminating on the past is
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  playing those experiences over and over again in your mind.
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  Maybe it's something that happened to you, like I said, or
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  maybe it's something that you did in the past that you have
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  some guilt or shame around. And there is great liberating
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  freedom and forgiving others and forgiving yourself and stepping
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  into the life that you want to live.
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  Saying my life is no longer determined by my past because
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  I'm who I am today and you can choose to start living a new
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  life today that isn't determined by those past experiences.
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  If you've made mistakes in the past, which we all have, trust
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  me, that isn't who you are today and it doesn't have to be who
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  you are today. You can move on and move forward
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  from that, forgive yourself and decide to live a more confident
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  life now, a leveled up life now. And if bad things happen to you
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  in the past, that doesn't determine your present or your
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  future. And that doesn't mean that those
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  those things didn't happen or that they're meaningless or that
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  you have to completely let those things go because you are who
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  you are today because you went through those things.
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  And that's another thing to consider is maybe in some ways,
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  and I know terrible things happen to people, but maybe in
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  some ways, be thankful for going through those things because
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  they crafted you and made you into the person that you are
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  today. And you got to learn from that
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  experience and you got to grow from that experience.
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  And just given that concept, you can accept the past and move
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  forward and say my life isn't defined by that thing.
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  If some people hold on to things that could have been 1020 years
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  ago and they're still defining their life by that moment and
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  they're not able to move forward.
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  I know for me, I used to determine my entire life, my
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  personality, everything on the worst things that ever happened
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  to me. I went through some really crazy
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  trauma when I was growing up and I defines my whole life by that.
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  I said that's who I am. And when other people didn't
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  understand, other people didn't get it.
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  I'm like, you don't understand what I've been through.
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  That's why I am the way that I am, when really who I was
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  choosing to be was my choice. Because the present and the
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  future is not determined by the past.
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  And I'm not saying it's easy, but what you need to do is
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  forgive others, forgive yourself, and move forward.
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  Let's say that you weren't very popular in school, or you were
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  bullied in school, or people called you awkward, shy or weird
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  or whatever the thing was. The thing is, nothing was
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  stopping you from being awesome then and nothing is stopping you
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  from being awesome now. Maybe you still hold on to that,
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  you know, people didn't like you in school or they made fun of
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  you or whatever, and you let that stop you from being your
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  true authentic self now. Well, guess what bro?
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  This isn't middle school or high school anymore.
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  You're a grown person and you can decide to be who you want to
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  be right now because like I said, the present and the future
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  are not determined by the past. You are the designer of your
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  life, which brings me to my next point.
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  You can decide to become the person that you want to be
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  starting today. And I have an exercise for you.
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  I've shared it a few times here on the podcast.
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  If you've done it already, do it again.
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  And it's to write out the dream version of yourself.
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  Who do you want to be? It's like designing your avatar.
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  If you've played video games before, the custom character of
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  your life, and you're going to write this down in bullet points
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  or number it on a piece of paper or in your notebook or journal,
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  and it's going to be thing by thing, trait by trait,
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  accomplishment by accomplishment.
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  If you were the dream version of yourself, what does that look
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  like? Write the entire thing out.
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  And then next, you determine what steps you need to take
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  immediately to become that person.
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  And you really can start doing that today.
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  A lot of people make the mistake of thinking that a day is going
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  to come where they finally have permission to be their
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  authentic, true self. But The thing is, you don't need
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  permission. You don't need to reach a
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  certain level in life to have permission to be your true,
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  authentic self, to be confident, to feel accomplished, to feel
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  whole, to be secure in yourself. There's not a magical day that's
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  going to come that you have permission to do that.
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  You have permission to do that right now.
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  And another thing is success comes from becoming the person
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  that you want to be before the success even comes.
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  Deciding that you are that person, going through that
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  transformation, being your authentic true self, then the
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  success comes. A lot of people have it
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  backwards. They think once the success
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  comes, then I can be confident. That's not how it works.
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  You have to be confident first in the success comes and that
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  dream version of yourself in the steps that you need to take to
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  become that person. If anybody has a problem with
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  that, if anybody has a problem with you leveling up your life,
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  deciding to be confident, deciding to be the new you right
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  now, then those people aren't your people anyways.
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  They're not for you. And it doesn't even matter.
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  And you will have freedom and liberation in your life and you
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  will be able to be your true authentic self.
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  And that's what really matters. And then the people that are for
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  you will love that and love you and new people will come into
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  your life, which is a super awesome thing as well.
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  Once you start actually being your true authentic self, you're
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  going to be magnetic and attract people who like that version of
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  you and you won't have to mute yourself or dumb yourself down
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  for them because they love that true authentic you.
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  Which brings me to my next point, which is what other
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  people think about you doesn't matter.
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  It's none of your business so don't let it be.
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  And here's the thing here's the truth.
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  Here's what it really comes down to.
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  You do not have to care what other people think about you.
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  And I know if you have confidence or self esteem issues
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  that might be on your mind constantly, you might conduct
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  your life in such a way that every action that you make,
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  every interaction that you have, your acting in a way that's
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  self-conscious of what other people think about you.
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  I hope that makes sense. I feel like I was doing word
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  salad there. But you might be so consciously
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  aware of what other people might think about you that you end up
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  acting weirder than you would if you would just be yourself.
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  And the more you don't care about what other people think,
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  the more freedom you have. Think about that.
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  Consider that what if you actually didn't care what
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  anybody thought about you? How much freer would you feel in
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  yourself? How much happier would you be in
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  your days? And here's another thing when it
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  comes to the fear of what other people might think about you,
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  most people are just concerned with themselves anyways.
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  They're so wrapped up in themselves that they don't even
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  have time to think about you and what you're doing because they
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  are busy being self-conscious and worried about what you think
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  about them. And that's a mind blowing
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  concept. They can give you a lot of
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  confidence, especially in your interactions with other people
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  is realizing they're self-conscious too.
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  They have their own insecurities.
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  They're worried about themselves.
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  They're not as concerned with what you're doing and how you're
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  acting as they are concerned with how they're they're
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  conducting themselves. You understand what I'm saying?
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  I've known so many people who are crippled in life by the fear
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  of embarrassment and what other people thought about them, and
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  it keeps them from reaching their full potential.
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  And it's so sad. Like I said, I used to be like
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  that for a long time and it did hold me back in my life.
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  Now I'm sitting here talking to you, talking confidently to a
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  camera. There is a camera in front of me
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  right now where I know that thousands of people are going to
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  be listening to this and watching this.
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  And it's a process to get to that point.
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  I just made the decision to not care what other people thought
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  about me. When I first started doing this
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  thing, I got all kinds of hater comments and that would bother
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  me at first. And then eventually I reached a
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  point where I was like, I don't care what anybody thinks because
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  I'm actually helping people in their lives.
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  I'm actually doing something that has an impact.
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  You can think whatever you want about me.
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  You can think I'm the biggest idiot in the world and tell me
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  in the comments and it does nothing to me, nothing for me.
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  In fact, it's like entertainment for me now.
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  It only fuels the fire. It makes me laugh and I
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  understand that people who hate on other people are just losers
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  anyways. And accepting that, imagine how
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  much more power and freedom you would have in your life.
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  Just say I don't care what other people think about me.
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  And really, if you're concerned about what other people think
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  about you, the truth is nobody really cares anyways.
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  And like I said, if they do, they're losers.
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  They have nothing better to do than hate on you.
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  The only people who judge other people are people who have
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  nothing going for them. Successful people, truly
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  successful people don't judge others for just being
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  themselves. And the next thing that I want
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  to talk about here today is do you feel like a weirdo?
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  Well, the best people in history were or are weirdos.
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  Weirdness is your edge. It's your authenticity, it's who
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  you are. If you can embrace weirdness, if
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  you can even embrace cringe and being cringy, that is
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  authenticity. That is a superpower, especially
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  when it comes to being a confident person.
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  Think of any mega successful or mega famous person that you look
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  up to and honestly ask yourself, are they kind of a weirdo?
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  And your answer will definitely be yes, they are.
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  And if you're honest with yourself, that's why you like
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  them. That's why they're magnetic to
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  you. That's what you love about them
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  is that they're so free and open about kind of being a weirdo.
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  What you need to understand is that your quirks and those weird
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  things are what make you you. That's what makes you special
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  and set apart. Imagine how boring life would be
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  if everybody was exactly the same.
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  And the cool thing about this is the realer you are, the more
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  magnetic you become. I kind of talked about this
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  before, but you attract the people who appreciate that, who
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  appreciate you, the real you, when it comes to confidence,
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  realness and authenticity and being your true self.
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  That's where confidence comes from.
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  And that's what's magnetic to people.
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  And another thing is there's a difference between confident
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  energy and weirdo energy. And sometimes, you know, what
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  happens is you're so concerned with what other people are
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  thinking and conducting yourself in a certain way and trying to
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  put on this show for people that you don't come off as authentic
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  and you end up coming off as a awkward weirdo unintentionally.
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  You think you're doing all the right things.
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  You're staying in line with how you think you're supposed to be,
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  how you think you're supposed to conduct yourself.
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  And people can feel that they can pick up on that.
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  And what happens in the end is, wow, that guy has a weird vibe.
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  You know what I'm saying? Like that guy's given a weirdo
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  energy. And if you were to just accept
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  and be your authentic, wacky weirdo self, people would be
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  more comfortable around you. I'm sure if you have self esteem
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  or confidence issues in your life, you know exactly what I'm
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  talking about. Those awkward interactions that
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  you play over and over again in your head.
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  After you've had that interaction, it wouldn't have
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  been so awkward if you would have just accepted yourself,
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  been the real you, decided to not care what other people
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  think. You understand what I'm saying?
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  Like how much better would those interactions be?
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  And in the end, like I said, if people have a problem with that,
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  the people that you interact with, they don't like the true
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  authentic you, they can just get lost.
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  Who cares dude, who cares what other people think?
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  You're not losing anything, but you are gaining a lot by being
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  yourself, by being free in your life.
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  No longer being burdened by this fear, anxiety of what if I'm not
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  cool enough? What if people don't like me
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  enough? What if I'm not talking the
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  right way or acting to just be yourself, dude, that's really
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  what it comes down to. The second you decide to be
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  authentically you is the second that you are finally free and
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  you are free to live the life of your dreams because it's the
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  life of your dreams. It's not the life of anybody
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  else's dreams. You are the designer of your
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  life. Think about the amount of
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  control that other people have had over you and you just gave
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  them that control without them even having to try take back
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  control of your own life. Decide right now today to be
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  that confident person. And the next thing that I want
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  to talk about here today is you are only as cool as you think
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  you are. And I actually got that from one
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  of my favorite bands of all time, Deftones.
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  I watched a Deftones interview years ago where they were
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  talking about when they first started the band back when they
• 14:52
  were in high school. And one of the band members said
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  to the lead singer, you were always the cool one.
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  And he said you're only as cool as you think you you are.
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  And that stuck with me for years.
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  Is it such a profound concept? And it's true.
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  You are only as cool as you think you are.
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  Think about that. Because your perception is your
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  reality. If you think you're an awkward,
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  shy weirdo, that's who you are. If you think you're the, if you
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  think you're awesome, if you think that you're confident and
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  everybody loves you, that's exactly what's gonna happen.
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  Your perception is your reality. So just decide to be awesome.
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  That's all it takes. And again, I am going to repeat
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  myself here, if anybody doesn't like that, if anybody doesn't
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  like the true authentic you, if anybody doesn't like you
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  leveling up your life and becoming the new you and
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  deciding that today those are not your people, it doesn't
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  matter anyways. So just be you anyways.
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  Just be a confident person and the right people will come into
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  your life. And trust me, as soon as you
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  decide to be confident, truly accept yourself for who you are
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  and who you're becoming, you will be magnetic.
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  The right people will come into your life.
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  Your interactions will be so much better.
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  You will feel free, you'll feel liberated in your life, and you
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  will be more successful than you've ever been before.
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  And it really is that easy. You can make that decision right
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  now, today. And so remember 1, your life is
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  not determined by your past. You are not that person anymore.
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  And all of those things that happened, all of those things
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  that you did, all of those things that you went through are
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  in the past. So leave them there, bury them
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  there, and move forward into a future of authenticity,
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  confidence, and abundance. Two, you can begin to become the
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  person that you want to be right now, today.
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  Write out that vision of your dream self and determine what
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  steps you need to take to begin moving in the direction of
• 16:41
  becoming that dream version of yourself.
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  Design your avatar. Design your life.
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  You are the designer of your life #3 what other people think
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  about you is none of your business.
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  So don't care. Don't let it be your business.
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  Only losers judge other people for being themselves.
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  So don't be a loser. Don't judge other people and
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  don't don't care about other people judging you because it
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  truly doesn't matter. Don't let people have control
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  over you in your life. Have control over your own life,
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  in your own happiness, in your own freedom, in your own
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  fulfillment and your own success and your own and your own.
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  And I'm just kidding #4 If you feel like a weirdo or if you're
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  worried about other people perceiving you as a weirdo,
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  remember, the best people in life, the best people in
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  history, and the best people in the world are all weirdos.
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  And that is what makes you you. Those quirks that you're afraid
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  to show the, the cringy, embarrassing things are the
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  things that you think are going to be cringy or embarrassing
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  about yourself. Those parts of you that you've
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  dumbed down and hide from others.
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  That's what makes you you. So just accept being a weirdo.
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  Say yeah, I'm a weirdo. I'm weird.
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  That's what makes me awesome. Bang, liberating freedom.
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  And the 5th and final mindset shift is you are only as cool as
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  you think you are. And that is the same as you're
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  only as weird as you think you are.
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  So just decide today to be confident, be awesome and live a
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  super awesome leveled up life. And here's a another thing, I
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  love the true authentic you. I'm that kind of person.
• 18:03
  I think you're awesome. So just do it.
• 18:06
  And that's what I got for you guys today.
• 18:07
  I hope you got something out of this episode.
• 18:09
  I really wanted to get this message out to you today about
• 18:12
  being confident, accepting being the authentic, true you.
• 18:15
  If this episode inspired you in any way, definitely let me know
• 18:19
  in the comments or shoot me an e-mail, something like that.
• 18:22
  I love hearing from you guys. If you're on the YouTube version
• 18:25
  of this podcast episode, definitely hit the subscribe
• 18:27
  button and the like button. This helps me read other people
• 18:30
  with these powerful messages and helps you see my future content.
• 18:34
  Thank you so much for watching and listening today.
• 18:37
  Get out there, kill it, have a good week.
• 18:39
  Level up every aspect of your life and your confidence.
• 18:42
  I've got your back. There is a great calling and a
• 18:44
  purpose for you in this life. You listening to this right now.
• 18:48
  A life of overflowing abundance awaits you.
• 18:50
  On the other side of you deciding to make the switch.
• 18:53
  Make the change and level up every aspect of your life, A
• 18:56
  life of overflowing abundance awaits you.
• 18:58
  I love you, I'm proud out of you, and I'll catch you on the
• 19:01
  next one. Thanks guys.
• 19:02
  Bye.