Latest / The Curve / RTC122: Life updates: house buying, egg freezing and relationships.

Transcript

RTC122: Life updates: house buying, egg freezing and relationships. · The Curve

• 0:00
  Hey, so I think you might be in this camp. Are you ready to buy a property? Maybe your first home?
• 0:05
  Hopefully, I want to. Yes, amazing. Well, with a new home added every three minutes,
• 0:12
  trade me property is more properties than any warehouse in New Zealand.
• 0:16
  And you can get the load on the latest property market trends, housing information,
• 0:21
  and insights for every step of your property journey, which I think when you are looking
• 0:26
  to buy your first home or make a move, you do want to make sure you have that information
• 0:30
  and that you feel like you're being guided with all of the right resources. You know,
• 0:33
  like it can be quite overwhelming sometimes. Yes, so if you're like soft and you are interested
• 0:39
  in this, then search trade me property today and make sure your next move is a great one.
• 0:45
  Welcome to Raising the Curth, a podcast designed to teach you everything you need to know
• 0:49
  to be better with your money. And the wise words of Amy Schumer were slipping carrots into the browny
• 0:54
  recipe. I don't really get the saying. It's kind of like eating vegetables that actually taste good,
• 1:01
  you know, like still not with you. Are you on the script? That's basically like saying
• 1:06
  investing in finance can be boring, but it totally doesn't need to be. Okay, okay, so we're
• 1:12
  making it fun by putting the carrot. Okay, the vegetables are just good for you. It's the browny
• 1:18
  recipe. Okay, we got there. We got there. Okay, okay. Well, you've really got a finance,
• 1:22
  yeah, one of us has to. This is a joke. Okay, come and learn alongside me from Vick Harris,
• 1:28
  ex-fun manager, where I'm going to ask all the questions that you wish you could. And I'm going
• 1:32
  to be eating all the browny you wish you could. No, that's so not the joke. Okay, just come and talk
• 1:39
  and learn and laugh with us because together we really can raise the curve. Do you have your diary?
• 1:46
  Yeah, why? Oh, no, I was literally lying in bed last night and I thought I need to not take
• 1:52
  that anywhere anymore because I lose everything and I cut that one thing I don't want to.
• 1:57
  I can actually have it. Just leave it at home. No, every where you go, you stop before you leave,
• 2:02
  and you look around. But I do do that. Honestly, where did I leave it? Don't even know.
• 2:10
  Once you figure out where you left it, I'll give it back to you. Hold on, let me think.
• 2:14
  Where did I use it? Just at work? No. No. Under the plate of guacamole in corn chips.
• 2:23
  Okay, that's not fair. I saw you put the guacamole on top of it and they thought that's a bad idea.
• 2:28
  I'm going to forget that. Yeah. Okay, that was bad. Also, I had a drink which makes my senses always
• 2:33
  way worse. Yeah. Okay, moving on. The whole reason. Moving on. The whole reason we're doing this
• 2:39
  podcast actually, we thought it could be kind of cool. Firstly, I'm more going to share a bit of an
• 2:44
  update around my money situation, but I'm also quite curious here from Vic because we haven't actually
• 2:49
  spoken that much about your personal financial situation with relation to a second mortgage,
• 2:56
  being on a lower salary, you know, yeah. At the moment, I have a few goals. Some of them are short
• 3:06
  term. Actually, most of them really are in the short term realm. And this is kind of what I
• 3:11
  wanted to talk about is that I know a part of my personality is that I get a bit overwhelmed
• 3:17
  with having many different goals or things that I'm striving for because when it comes to
• 3:23
  saving, investing, etc, which hopefully by now everyone knows is the same thing. But basically,
• 3:28
  I'm like, okay, shit, I've got all these different things. How do I invest for all of them?
• 3:32
  I just get, I find overwhelming. Anyway, the three things at the moment that are on my immediate
• 3:38
  want to invest in, as I really want to get my ex-fosan. Nice. So, Vic did this when she was my age.
• 3:46
  Sorry, I didn't mean to make that.
• 3:48
  I gave her the look. I'm like, fuck you.
• 3:51
  No, I think when you were my age. No, I just remember because it was during lockdown.
• 3:57
  We were living together. I was 32. Yeah, I'm 32.
• 4:00
  So, I was 32. Oh my god. What do you mean?
• 4:03
  No, I know. I just like for years. In like two months, I'm 33. So, actually, I'm technically,
• 4:09
  and I remember at the time thinking I should just do this right now because I know the early
• 4:13
  do it the better blah, blah, blah. But I've had so many mixed opinions and people's feedback.
• 4:19
  I think it's just a big money, it's not guarantees. Well, the biggest frustrating thing with that is
• 4:25
  usually you don't have enough money for that until you're later in life, and then it's too late
• 4:31
  to do it. So, it's like this whole chicken and egg excuse the pun. You need the money when you're
• 4:37
  younger, you don't have the money. Yeah. Yeah, it's just like, so...
• 4:42
  Well, I thought about doing this from like 20 sets because I always thought, it's just so
• 4:46
  weird and I don't think that that many people would have been aware of it at that time, but I was
• 4:50
  working like breakfast radio, I was getting up at silly o'clock like three in the morning, and I was
• 4:54
  just like, I didn't see my life slowing down for a like quite a long time, and I've always,
• 4:59
  and this isn't to say that they're like mutually exclusive, but I've always thought I really want to
• 5:05
  have kids. No, yeah, that, but I also really want to dig my teeth in the work space, and I just
• 5:11
  I didn't want to feel like bound by time or age, which is unfortunate, just the reality of
• 5:16
  totally being in a woman's body. Like, I, yeah, I wouldn't do anything differently,
• 5:22
  but I always thought I'd love to be able to invest in getting my ex-frozen if I could, and I
• 5:27
  looked into it when we were living in Sydney, and it was like 10 grand, and I was like, I definitely
• 5:31
  just like don't have the money to spend on that. And also like priorities, it's not, it's probably
• 5:36
  not a priority then, as much as it is now. Yeah, but it should be, it's like insurance, you know,
• 5:42
  it's weird. Did you think of it like insurance? I'd love to kind of talk about that, because
• 5:47
  as I'm looking at it over here, it's about, it's about £7,000, which is around £1400,
• 5:54
  which is what it is, who's gone up to that. It's probably somewhere. But I, yeah, I'm just sort of like,
• 6:02
  I definitely did it, as soon as I got it done, I literally felt like I had a new lease on life,
• 6:05
  which is psychologically fucked, but like, that is what it is. And then now,
• 6:13
  I'm kind of not starting to feel that panic again, but I'm just like, keep fopping between
• 6:20
  like, bottle B will be with like, need to get a fucking regal off. Yeah, yeah. But I also think
• 6:26
  there is that like, I've got eggs on ice. How many did they get? Four. There's like nothing.
• 6:33
  Well, I mean, I have no idea what to expect. I've had friends that have done, they've got like 12,
• 6:37
  14. Well, so I'm just like, can I have some of yours please? This is where I'm at, is that that's
• 6:41
  something I'd like to spend money on soon, because I don't want to leave it too late. And I did
• 6:45
  that. I ate, I ate your mouth. What's the thing? Yeah, the blood test. The blood test thing. And I
• 6:50
  was an orange, which I know I was like, not great. Basically, there's green where it's like, you've
• 6:54
  got a whole chicken factory and you're like, orange, which is, you know, maybe you should think
• 6:59
  about it. And then you have red, which is like, get a real regal on. So I'm an orange, and this is
• 7:05
  a while ago. Anyway, the point is, I want to go and spend quite a bit of money on that.
• 7:10
  At the same time, I've even told you any of this, by the way, it's quite fun to be telling you,
• 7:16
  live on the podcast. I'm going to buy a house. Nice. Yeah. Or in New Zealand. In New Zealand.
• 7:24
  And I'm going to do it with one of my best friends. Oh my god, fun. So I'm not, so you know, Ella,
• 7:28
  so Ella's actually been on the podcast before a couple of times. I'm currently both kind of
• 7:34
  slightly financial disasters. No, sorry. I shouldn't say that that's actually shit on me,
• 7:40
  because I'm not believing it. Yeah, no, but it's more just the fact that like, actually, she
• 7:44
  has had her shit there the way more than me. She's actually bought and sold a house already.
• 7:49
  But we are both in relationships, both our partners aren't in positions to go in on the house
• 7:55
  for their own reasons, which is totally fine. And I actually have had this really cool like
• 8:01
  feeling of pride and excitement to not be doing it within my relationship. Because we were talking
• 8:08
  about it, we were like, oh, we don't need to sign a prenup. Obviously, we need to have like
• 8:13
  contracts in place. And you know, talk about like should someone want to sell a head of the other
• 8:17
  person and blah, blah, blah. Yeah. But there's something really exciting. I feel really proud. And
• 8:23
  so I didn't want to get too excited because she's had the initial conversation with the mortgage
• 8:28
  and sort of half expecting her to come back and be like, just kidding me and my boyfriend
• 8:33
  are going to do it. Yeah. So I was like, I don't want to get too excited because I'm so
• 8:37
  and if you want to do it together. But I guess I just wanted to check to you about your thoughts
• 8:42
  in regards to going in with somebody. Yeah. I mean, there's the obvious like talk to lawyers,
• 8:47
  make sure you have like talks about all of the potential shit situations. But it's exactly the same
• 8:54
  like you would with the partner. It's like you've got to make sure that you are prepared for the
• 8:58
  worst case scenario that you and Alan never speak again. And it's got so vile and you can't stand
• 9:04
  each other. And your property has gone down in value by 50%. You know, like, I know. But that's
• 9:11
  the kind of, and if you now, if you prepare for that, then anything above that is great. Sorry,
• 9:17
  just put it in. Thanks for popping the balloon. Yeah. No, but I think my thing is like in terms of,
• 9:23
  you know, sharing a deposit. Am I right in thinking if you do it with a partner or a friend,
• 9:28
  you have the ability to purchase more because you have a bigger deposit and to earn in capacity.
• 9:34
  So would that mean that we have like, if I was to do it by myself, I probably could only get it,
• 9:39
  you know, much lesser, which is super far on this because you have a smaller deposit. Yeah.
• 9:44
  And then your salary, you have to be able to service the mortgage and pay it. So therefore,
• 9:48
  if your salary doesn't cover that, then that also could be a reason that you don't get the mortgage.
• 9:53
  Yeah, doing it with someone definitely means that you get to share the deposit.
• 9:56
  You also need to talk around if that deposit isn't split 50-50, then is the ownership of the
• 10:02
  house, not split 50-50. But then if you're paying 50-50 in the mortgage repayments, then,
• 10:11
  you know, like in terms of, well, then if you're only putting 40% and 60% then do pay that in the
• 10:17
  mortgage repayments, like there's all those things. And there's so many helpful platforms that
• 10:22
  can help you do that. And I mean banks and mortgage, particularly mortgage brokers, sorry,
• 10:28
  they have conversations like this with partners all the time. Yeah.
• 10:31
  Part might put a 10% in the other 90 or like, but then they're willing to increase that
• 10:37
  by servicing more of the mortgage. You know, like there's so many, you might not have the lump
• 10:41
  some money, but you might earn more. I don't know, there's so many ways to cut a chicken.
• 10:45
  Can I stop pulling that chicken? It's really not lovely. There's so many ways to
• 10:50
  slice the dice, cut the cloth, split the bill. Yeah, yeah. So uncreative. But yeah, I think
• 10:59
  it's just making sure that you've talked about worst case scenario. Yeah. And then what if you
• 11:04
  also want to renovate it or add value, paint job, new floors, windows, whatever, like do you
• 11:11
  split that 50, 50, if she's living in it, if you're not like all those things. All right.
• 11:16
  Yeah. Good. Good. But how exciting is that for me? And do you know what's exciting about it?
• 11:21
  If we buy something in New Zealand, which is the dream, then we never go home.
• 11:26
  You have somebody to go because like I am so sick of feeling, yeah, see me.
• 11:32
  I don't know. I'm so nice being able to live with parents and it's been time with them, but
• 11:36
  you really feel like you're in their space. I don't know. I just feel like I'm saying
• 11:40
  welcome and all of that. And also having your stuff all in my place is, yeah, no, I totally get
• 11:46
  that. That's really exciting. How have you found, because you had one house. And then in the last
• 11:52
  year, you've increased that to having a second mortgage. How have you found, because you're also
• 11:57
  then paying rent over here. How do you manage that like in your house, like the one you were living
• 12:03
  in? Yeah. Are the people that are renting it like covering the mortgage and the same with your,
• 12:07
  you know, how does that whole thing work? Yeah. So the people in my first home in Auckland,
• 12:14
  they're covering the mortgage, which is great. Yeah. But I'm still on the on interest only.
• 12:19
  Right. So it's not good. So it needs you not paying down the actual principal. Yeah.
• 12:23
  Not paying the principals. They're not paying off the loan. At least it's today. But I will
• 12:27
  eventually, yeah, once we start paying ourselves a bit more, then that'll give me the flexibility
• 12:33
  to put that change there. Yeah. They're actually moving out. Well, it's on here. I think it was
• 12:38
  like an eight months. Anyway, I've got to have a chat. But in the next couple of months, and then I
• 12:41
  might see if there's flexibility to increase a bit more the rent. Yeah. So then because I,
• 12:46
  yeah, I managed to fill it pretty quickly. Yeah. But it is quite nice to know that it's just like
• 12:52
  their money comes in. The money goes out to the bank. Like, I don't even have to look at that
• 12:56
  account. You know, like it's not the asset is like still staying there. Yeah. It's just kind of like
• 13:01
  working away itself in the background. Yeah. You know what I mean? There's no, yeah. There's
• 13:05
  nothing that I need to do there. And then yes, with the mortgage in margarine, my parents are
• 13:11
  actually renovating at the moment as well. So this is like a semi beach house. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
• 13:16
  So yeah, it's going to say, so you went in with your parents, did you do 50 and they did 50
• 13:21
  together? Yeah. Yeah. And so how did that then work now that you said that do you say they're renovating?
• 13:25
  Yeah. So now they're renovating. So I'm, they're like running everything past me in terms of
• 13:29
  that the cost. Do you have to contribute? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, so you're doing all 50.
• 13:32
  But I'm gonna, we're gonna wait to have finished. And then they'll just, they'll send me a bill.
• 13:38
  But they're running everything past me, which is fine. And what if they choose like hideous times?
• 13:43
  Well, that's why I said, like, if I'm asleep, do not make a decision. And they're sending me
• 13:48
  videos and updates and it's actually quite good. And they're both retired and dad loves this kind
• 13:51
  of stuff. So he's actually, we're actually saving a lot in terms of like building costs and stuff
• 13:55
  because he's just chipping away. I think, so excuse me, probably just get away from mum and just
• 13:59
  be like, I'm going by the ring and yeah, no jokes, they're fine. And so yeah. So then there's obviously
• 14:03
  that added cost. But do you pay for the mortgage of that house? Or so? Do you pay for the mortgage
• 14:08
  of that house? Yes. Yep. So paying for that mortgage. So that's been an additional mortgage that's
• 14:12
  been added. So the overall mortgage repayments have increased that I'm paying.
• 14:19
  How are you forwarding that on our salary? Yeah. No, it's fucking hard.
• 14:22
  Are you paying for it? Would the salary or are you going into your life? I've gone into my
• 14:26
  business a little bit early, very early on. I took out a bit of chunk, a chunk of money just to pay
• 14:32
  for like lawyers, fees and stuff. And also when we moved over here, I had to put my house in my
• 14:37
  first house into a trust and all of that, which actually cost quite a bit from a look from lawyers.
• 14:41
  So there's like big bills like that, which I unfortunately had to. Yeah, it's just a case of
• 14:45
  literally like, I haven't bought like any new clothes or anything. Is your head? I have not.
• 14:50
  You bought two that the row bags. Oh my god. Well, I haven't bought like this. Sorry.
• 15:00
  I mean, I've cut back a lot. And one of them's big enough for me like, sit in it.
• 15:05
  No, okay. Yeah, I have definitely. That's kind of what I mean though. I'm really, I wanted to know,
• 15:10
  like we're our salary knowing that right now, we're not even on 100 New Zealand. That's like,
• 15:16
  you know, to be having two mortgage repayments plus paying rent over here, I was like, I just
• 15:20
  wondered if you were going because the mortgage, the house in my ring, it was like pretty cheap,
• 15:25
  to be honest. It's not like it's hardly moved the needle in terms of the mortgage repayments.
• 15:30
  So it's like kind of like just a general picture of like, what would a weekly repayment be
• 15:35
  towards that mortgage if you were doing half well, I haven't split them out. So it's all kind
• 15:40
  of lumped into one. Yeah. Yeah, but still like rent here. Yeah, rent here. It's expensive.
• 15:47
  But it's yeah, it's just impressive. Like I'm like, really impressed that you're
• 15:51
  moved because you're also, it doesn't seem to be that you're cutting down hugely on your lifestyle
• 15:54
  or like, or do you feel like you've had to? Yeah, I definitely feel like I've had to.
• 15:59
  It's like $100 dog beds, that's for sure. Yeah. I've been on them a stat that used to spend
• 16:04
  some pretty interesting amounts of money on really random shit. You're just a real freaking
• 16:07
  weird shit. Yeah, lifestyle creepers are real. And reverse lifestyle creepers are real. Yeah.
• 16:12
  Like I haven't booked any holidays or anything. Yeah, okay. Like, what about when you, so when
• 16:17
  Fick first joined the curve, she basically got herself to a financial situation where she put like
• 16:22
  goals in place to get herself to $100,000 in investments. So like not including her house or
• 16:29
  anything, but like in like funds and stocks and whatnot before I took the loop. Yeah,
• 16:33
  because you know, you just never know what's going to happen in a startup. And so with that,
• 16:38
  have you had to like significantly dip into it or if you manage to like keep it like? I've dipped
• 16:42
  into probably about 40 grand of it. Oh, okay. Yeah. So you still got a decent amount. Yeah. Yeah.
• 16:49
  And he's gonna stop hitting this. I know. Sorry if he's hitting it. Um,
• 16:53
  such an amazing conversation. No, sorry. That's amazing. Okay. So I want to give that back up to
• 16:57
  $100. Yeah. Love that. Just like mentally. I don't know why. Yeah. No, I get that. Yeah. So,
• 17:03
  okay. Sorry, it affects me. Yeah. So bang house, hopefully. And then the other thing that's live
• 17:08
  and well that I am never getting at the moment, which I think would be really cool to take in a broader
• 17:14
  conversation with the community and like, you know, I'd love to hear more about how other people
• 17:20
  manage. Why are you grinning at me? Am I hitting the floor now?
• 17:24
  Honestly, I think it's stressful or something. Yeah, no, it's my ADHD. I can't still. Yeah.
• 17:29
  So I've been in a relationship for like gosh, not that long. Yeah. Why are you laughing now?
• 17:36
  Look, no, no, no, now I'm noticing it. Where's before? Yeah, okay. Sorry, I'm sorry.
• 17:40
  You've been distracting. I'm sorry. So I am in a new relationship and we had our first
• 17:47
  money. I would say conflict the other day. And I was like, wow, this is because it's okay.
• 17:55
  I can't even remember. No, not with you. Oh, sorry. We're not in a relationship. Oh, I must
• 18:00
  that pass. Oh, good to know. So we always talk a lot about like pre-nubs and splitting things and
• 18:07
  not making relationships and money super romanticized. You know, you're kind of in a business deal.
• 18:13
  And it's like, you've got to be, it's not always going to be cute and rainbows and fluffy,
• 18:18
  sexy vibes. And if you want to achieve certain life goals, they cost money. So you want to make
• 18:23
  sure that you're aligned with your finances and your goals and your own. Thank you. And so I
• 18:29
  listened to a podcast where they were talking about, it was like asking me anything. And it was
• 18:34
  a new relationship. And they were like, would you consider a shared account? And the host like,
• 18:39
  she's so funny. She was like, oh, like kind of like pretend she was being count. Yeah, I think so.
• 18:44
  And I think maybe I interpret it initially as just like for bills, but I think what she thought
• 18:50
  the question was was, would you be open to like getting paid into the same account? Which obviously
• 18:55
  is very different, just splitting over. Or your branch bill, I would never get my pay put into
• 19:01
  the same account. I think I would really struggle. No, I'm not saying I have to be spending habits,
• 19:07
  but like, like I've done joint accounts where you put a certain amount of money into a joint
• 19:11
  account. And that is what you spend when you're with each other or even, you know, like that kind of
• 19:16
  thing. But did you do it as a percentage of your income? Like a dollar amount that you put in there.
• 19:20
  And it was a cover like? Yeah. Yeah. A cardboard was like, maybe like 100 pounds a week or something.
• 19:25
  I get to cover like eating out, you know, groceries, that kind of stuff. And you just always,
• 19:30
  you just increase it for you know, being more. But I can't imagine like putting your entire
• 19:35
  celery in there. And then like every time they bought something, I'd be like, well, I need to buy
• 19:40
  something. You're like, which is such a fucked mentality. But like, so this is why I brought it up
• 19:44
  with you because I wanted just what I don't want to get to a point where I'm looking at dollars
• 19:50
  and cents. And by the way, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that. Like if that's the way
• 19:54
  that you want to do it totally fine. I think I don't want to be like, could you transfer
• 19:58
  me four pounds for that coffee? You know, like, I think, I think the way to get around that though is
• 20:04
  you have an account for shared things when you're out together. And then you keep your money
• 20:09
  separate. And whatever that might be 100 pounds a week, it might be 500 pounds a week if you're
• 20:13
  spending a lot of time together. Like, do you know what I mean? Yeah, I think for me. And this
• 20:17
  is exactly what happened in this conversation is that I wanted to say I, and I probably,
• 20:23
  maybe I didn't explain it in the best way, but I sort of said, hey, I like, can we talk about
• 20:28
  the shared account thing? Like, I'm not sure how I feel about that. Yeah. And what I was trying to do
• 20:32
  was just open the conversation. Yeah, kind of spiraled, but whatever. Anyway, the pointers,
• 20:37
  we're really trying to enforce having really fun money conversations with your partner.
• 20:42
  I just think it's important to be realistic. Like, I think I reflect it on the conversation
• 20:46
  afterwards thinking, oh, and if you're not comfortable with it, definitely. No, it was just,
• 20:50
  I think what I, what I took from it was, you know, here we are sitting on our, I was about saying,
• 20:54
  hi, horses, but, you know, talking about how ask for pre-nuts, do this, do that. But when it's the
• 20:59
  reality of it, it's way more delicate and things aren't as straightforward. And I just experienced
• 21:04
  that in real time. And I thought, it's easy to say when you're single or you're not in a relationship,
• 21:09
  and like do it this way. Yeah. So anyway, I think what I was trying to talk about was,
• 21:14
  I don't love the idea of, yes, splitting small amounts because I actually like getting someone
• 21:20
  a coffee or like I really, I get a lot of enjoyment from shouting something, not all the time.
• 21:26
  But I think it was just, how can you keep that within the relationship dynamic to an extent where
• 21:32
  you can do nice things for each other like that without, that's a joint account then. Like,
• 21:39
  you have a joint account when you're out to get them, you're paying things together. And then if
• 21:42
  you want to take them out for dinner and spoil them, you put on your cards or buy them a coffee,
• 21:48
  you don't put it on the joint account card. That's how I would do it. So then if I'm like, can we
• 21:54
  go to this really nice restaurant because I want to, they don't feel pressure. I don't know.
• 22:00
  Yeah. So wait, well, one of the things that I was thinking could work is maybe there's like a
• 22:03
  threshold where it's like 10 pounds, 20 pounds, whatever, where it's like swings and run about.
• 22:08
  So say it's coffee in a pastry, you know, you get it, I get it. Like, it's just a bit more relaxed.
• 22:13
  And then there's a shared account for, if you're out for dinner together and it's just,
• 22:19
  it's not a special occasion. It's like, let's get over it or whatever. And that goes on there.
• 22:24
  Or I don't know, but it was just interesting because he was like, why don't we just,
• 22:27
  because on, you know, neo banks, whether it's monzo, revolute, whatever, you can just split
• 22:32
  bills. So he said, why don't you just split it with me? Like, I don't know. It's just, anyway,
• 22:37
  I have, yeah, I just, I don't have like a conclusion. And I know that it goes against
• 22:42
  everything we've talked about by saying it's unsexy to split a bill. But it's so ingrained.
• 22:47
  And it's really weird to, and hard to try and communicate will find something that works.
• 22:53
  So I don't know, I just thought like, it could be quite interesting to four pounds. If you
• 22:58
  shouted him a coffee, does that consume you in terms of? No, I would want to be able to do that.
• 23:02
  No, but like, are you like, oh, I just paid, if you did that like three or four times in a row,
• 23:06
  would you be like, oh, you kind of, I mean, like 12 pounds now? Oh, maybe. Do you know what I mean?
• 23:10
  Like, I think it's, I think the thing is he is generous and he does, you know, like, it's, it's,
• 23:15
  that's, I think what I mean is like, I want to be able to just like have a certain threshold that's
• 23:20
  like, what goes around comes around, have maybe like split bills on essentials, whether it be like,
• 23:26
  Uber's groceries, that kind of thing. And then if we go out for dinner, but it's like,
• 23:32
  we're both going out for dinner. It's not, I'm taking you out. It goes like, we split. Yeah.
• 23:36
  I guess it's just trying to figure out if having an account that you put money into works or if
• 23:41
  splitting the bill is just easier because you don't know how much you're spending. It just then
• 23:45
  means like trying to figure out when you're splitting something and when you're not.
• 23:49
  I think that's, I think I'm, because the camp of like, let's just put a portion of our
• 23:55
  monthly pay into an account and that's when we're out together, whatever we just use that,
• 24:00
  so that it removes the discussion of having to split anything because it's already split.
• 24:04
  But let's just say you're going out for dinner and you're getting a soda water and they have five
• 24:08
  beers and you're paying it on the shirt account. So you, so you think of that as, yeah, I'm like,
• 24:12
  is there will be a time when I, that's kind of what I mean is I won't, you don't want it. Yeah,
• 24:16
  yeah, yeah. I think, yeah, I think it's like, because I think that's what I mean. It's like,
• 24:21
  because I can be quite like, I'm terrible with admin firstly, but I'm also like can get really
• 24:28
  extreme or hung up on details and I just don't want it to get like that. And I think you've
• 24:32
  got to think like, there'll be times when he's probably thinking that you've ordered a dessert and
• 24:36
  he's like, I didn't get it. So now I have to pay for your dessert. Do you know when you're sitting
• 24:39
  there going, you've got five drinks, I've got one. There'll be so many other times. Yeah,
• 24:44
  that he'll be like, your main was more expensive than mine. Do you know, it just like goes and swings
• 24:48
  and roundabouts. I just, yeah, I think that's kind of what I was trying to get to. I was like, how can
• 24:52
  you, how can you be realistic and like sort of pay more or less for like the more transactional
• 24:59
  or shared experiences that aren't necessarily like, I want to take you out on a date. Yeah.
• 25:04
  And it not be, I think it's more, you just put a set amount for what works for me, putting set
• 25:10
  amount into a bank account. And that's what we use when we go out together. And then I still have
• 25:16
  my own, the majority of my salary that I can spend how I want on going out with my friends,
• 25:24
  clothes. I don't know anything else that, you know, I feel good, feel good fund or that kind
• 25:30
  of stuff that I can just be money on. Because I would hate it if I, we put my name into that account
• 25:34
  and then I'm going in facial. But that's it. But I think, I do think if you're entering a
• 25:40
  relationship and then vice versa, if he wants to buy me a gift or something, he's not going to use
• 25:44
  a joint account. I'll be like, I'll be quite funny. Interesting. Yeah. I don't know. I'm not sure
• 25:52
  what feels right for me. But if anyone listening has like a really good set up that works super well
• 25:57
  and they feel like they have financial independence within the relationship, as well as like a really
• 26:02
  kind of fair, equal non-weird way of splitting bills, what do you bad love to care? I think it would
• 26:07
  be quite cool to get almost a big brain dump from people to here. What works? Yeah. Maybe we can do
• 26:13
  some sort of like information gathering situation. Do we in the money reset going to like,
• 26:20
  couple stuff? Is there an element of talk? Because I think for me, if I look at all of this stuff,
• 26:24
  like egg freezing, buying a house, splitting money, I think all of that sort of feeds into feeling
• 26:31
  like, over one with short-term long-term goals. Do you really mean? No, we do. There's a lot on
• 26:35
  goal setting, short-term long-term, harder manage, certain goals at certain times. There's also an
• 26:42
  element of talking about money and relationships and how to navigate that. I also think on those,
• 26:49
  if you are putting all of your salary in the same account and you've got different goals,
• 26:57
  that's where it can also get quite funny. So, whereas if you're keeping the bulk of your salary,
• 27:03
  which can then go on to fueling your goals and you're putting a portion aside for your common
• 27:09
  expenses, that's how you can kind of keep different. If your goals are different, if your goals are
• 27:13
  like, we both want to buy a house or we both want to have a family. I guess it's almost, yeah. Yeah,
• 27:19
  I guess it's also like, do you put 5% of your salary in or do you do the same amount? And I think
• 27:26
  that this is figuring out what your goals are and what's it going to cost them working backwards,
• 27:29
  which we do in the money reset. Yeah, yeah. Okay, cool. So say you're £7,000 and you want to get
• 27:34
  there by the end of the year. Okay, what does that look like in terms of how much you need to save a
• 27:38
  week or a month? And what percentage of your salary is that? I think also what is genius and what
• 27:46
  you definitely teach in the money reset is the idea of like taking your money out for those
• 27:52
  short and long-term goals at the start of the pay cycle. Because I mean lifestyle creeps,
• 27:58
  something we've talked about, hey, that's the idea that you just adjust your spending based on your
• 28:02
  salary. But if you're taking out say 10% or whatever is manageable, because 10% is just like
• 28:07
  pretty standard, that's what most financial professionals suggest. 10% towards your short-term
• 28:13
  long-term money goals. Or you're paying off debt. Yeah, but it's just like I think then not only
• 28:20
  as an out of sight out of mind and it's just kind of done, but I don't. Conceptually, this is all
• 28:26
  you've got left just to live off. Yeah, rather than being like, oh, I'll transfer what I've got left
• 28:31
  over, because we can always spend more. Do you know what I mean? There's always something that
• 28:36
  comes up that we have to buy. I guess it's also like having your own financial plan and then
• 28:40
  matching that up with your partners, right? Because I know a couple who do like a percentage of their
• 28:47
  income. And obviously that's swung and roundabouts, ones earn more and now the others earning more
• 28:52
  and like, you know, that works for them. And you're always starting at different places as well,
• 28:56
  like with you and Ella, like you're saying she's already bought a house. You know, I have more,
• 29:00
  she probably definitely will have more. But like you're starting from different starting points.
• 29:04
  So like you need to remember and be a bit like compassionate about different situations
• 29:08
  that you're going into. And like nothing's going to be perfect. But having those discussions
• 29:13
  and figuring out what works for you as a couple or as friends going forward, I think is really
• 29:20
  important. Yeah. Like I remember my parents, like my day ahead of house, my mum didn't. He sold
• 29:25
  his house in the UK. Most New Zealand boy, I was like, how did you? How did you not feel that
• 29:31
  you're bringing a lot more to the relationship financially than my mum was? And like, no, but I think
• 29:35
  that's the thing is that you do. And this is kind of what I found when I was having this money
• 29:40
  conversation recently is we speak about, of course, it makes so much sense that, but particularly,
• 29:50
  and honestly, I know this, this sounds really bad, but I'm just acknowledging if it what it is.
• 29:55
  If my partner was to say to me, oh, we'd be getting a prenup, I'd be like, my immediate thoughts
• 30:01
  borrowers, you don't love me, you don't want to care for me. You like, which is I know by the way,
• 30:07
  I'm saying, I'm prefs in this, we're saying I know that's ridiculous because I, here I am sitting
• 30:11
  having like asked for a prenup on your own financial situation, standing around like I'm,
• 30:16
  I know it's really, but even just like watching Bridgerton, for example, lately, I'm like looking
• 30:21
  at these girls, standing on the dance floor with their dance cards, waiting for someone to come
• 30:25
  and tell them they're going to get a dance. And, and you know, there's every season, they're searching
• 30:30
  for her three seasons without a husband, and they're like, going to be end up being alone. Like,
• 30:35
  it's just, oh, on the street, you know, and it's a whole idea that you need a husband to be
• 30:40
  a functioning member of society, to be, like, to have the stability and security, and all of
• 30:46
  that stuff's all talked about. And so, when you then watch the show, which like, I mean, I love it.
• 30:51
  But the context it gives you for how ingrained that idea of having a partner that provides and
• 30:57
  gives you financial security, it's so messed up. But like, if you flip it around, you can kind of
• 31:04
  understand how conversations become heated and how some people would probably feel like I literally
• 31:09
  bought $500,000 into this relationship and you had none. Like, but I think it's also the more
• 31:14
  conversations we have like this, the less pressure and to boo and scareiness that is around them,
• 31:20
  because if you made them common and normalize them, it wouldn't be so much of like an intense
• 31:28
  conversation, you know what I mean? There wouldn't be so much like, oh my god, you don't love me,
• 31:32
  you know, you know, I know, but if you're being honest with yourself, if you want to go into a
• 31:37
  relationship with somebody that had significantly less assets than you, this is just hypothetical,
• 31:44
  you met someone, you fell in love, you wanted to be in a relationship with them,
• 31:48
  you've spent your whole life up until now being really financially prepared, knowing where your
• 31:54
  money's going, having your short term long term goals and working towards that. So then say you
• 31:59
  fell in love, you met someone who has less than $5,000 in their bank account, no assets to their name,
• 32:04
  how would you navigate that in terms of like, say you wanted to get married? Well, yeah,
• 32:13
  firstly, I'd be asking the questions of like, what, why? Do you know what I mean? Like, in terms of like,
• 32:18
  have they made some bad financial decisions? Have they had to look after family? You know, like, what
• 32:23
  has got them to their financial situation now? Because everyone is so different. And then, yeah,
• 32:29
  I would be having a conversation about a prenup, but that's vice versa. We could, because
• 32:36
  yes, I have got financial assets as I'm coming into the relationship, but then what we create
• 32:41
  together is shared. So he could be, he could start a business and be a billionaire and we get to
• 32:50
  share that vice versa. He might want to be a state home dad to support me and the curve becomes
• 32:56
  a billion dollar company. We still share that. Do you know what I mean? It's like, you're coming
• 33:00
  into the relationship and you're writing down, this is the starting point, whatever we create together
• 33:04
  from now on is shared. Whatever we have created is our separate. Okay. Yeah. So it's like, I like that.
• 33:12
  Yeah, it's like, because we're both starting at different starting places. And I thought that was
• 33:16
  reverse and you had $5,000 in your account and you met someone who's really financially secure,
• 33:22
  had two houses, had a significant amount of this in the stock market, blah, blah. And they were
• 33:27
  like, we're getting a prenup. How would you feel? I would depend on the terms, but I would probably
• 33:33
  exactly the same. They're like, okay, well, if you're going to be the breadwinner and you want me
• 33:37
  to support you, then I should be able to effectively have part of that because you're creating value
• 33:45
  and creating wealth with my support, even though I'm not technically working in paid employment.
• 33:49
  But so no, but you might be working. I mean, you might still have a, you know, an $80,000 a year
• 33:54
  salary and you just don't have assets up until that point. Would you go into that relationship knowing
• 34:00
  that they're keeping their assets and their money to themselves? Would you feel less supported,
• 34:06
  less value, less cared for all those things? I think it depends on what the situation would be
• 34:12
  going forward. Yeah. If I was still able to have my career and that 80,000 could increase to
• 34:18
  100,000, 200,000 and then I could build up my own assets and that's fine. But if the conversation
• 34:22
  was, well, you need to take time out of work to have children, then that's a conversation, well, okay,
• 34:27
  I need to be compensated for that because now I can't build up my asset bank like you have.
• 34:32
  Yeah. So we need to have a conversation around the family home that you've brought into the
• 34:36
  relationship. I think it's just having a conversation. It's so complex. It is complex.
• 34:40
  But I also would totally see where they're coming from. Why should just us becoming a union?
• 34:45
  No, no, no. I mean, we get, but whoever it is is bringing in the assets because money doesn't
• 34:51
  mean love, but it's so ingrained in how we think. It's how you move forward. I think is the conversation
• 34:57
  of like, and some people might be like, you know what? For me, coming into a union of a partnership
• 35:05
  of marriage, whatever it is, does mean the combining of assets. And if you're both fine with that,
• 35:09
  then that works for you. That's fine. There's no like, you should or shouldn't do exercise yet. It's
• 35:14
  just like having a conversation of, okay, well, if we both want to buy our own house in five years
• 35:21
  time, then what are those contributions look like from a financial point of view? And like, how do
• 35:27
  we achieve that together? And then that asset becomes shared? Then we've both got an asset. I don't
• 35:31
  know. There's like so many ways to just going to care. That's the saying. I don't love that.
• 35:36
  No, I know neither, but that's the saying we got there. Oh, it's fun. The way you say things
• 35:42
  so funny. It's not even funny, but you know, when you're just in, you're like, no, no, I know.
• 35:46
  Like, I'm not in here. What did I say? You're so funny. What did I say? You say that was really
• 35:52
  weird. Oh, my God, I wrote it down. It was so good. Oh, it was. I literally was like, this is a
• 35:58
  quote. Okay. So you haven't read the curve weekly. But we don't, this is going out, maybe not like,
• 36:02
  you know, it was something I wrote in the curve weekly. And if you don't get the curve weekly,
• 36:07
  please sign up. It's a great newsletter. I put a lot of blood swings into it. Anyway,
• 36:10
  and I was writing it and so I was sitting next to me. And I found this article about what
• 36:14
  level of salary would make you happy? Or is it means peak happiness? And there were studies
• 36:22
  that show it was $180,000 New Zealand dollars means that is your peak happiness. Anything
• 36:27
  above that, you're not getting any more happy in terms of your salary. And I was sitting there
• 36:33
  going, I mean, $180,000 is great. But a million dollars would make me much more happier.
• 36:38
  I was like, there is no, I was like, just turns me and goes, I think I'd be happy with one million.
• 36:45
  Yeah. Well, two million, three million. I was like, honestly, who are they serving? But yeah,
• 36:50
  it's what it was more saying that if your salary was going from 80,000 to 180,000,
• 36:56
  that gap, the jump in that and how happy that makes you versus going 100 from 180 to a million,
• 37:03
  diminishing returns is kind of what they're getting at. But I was like, who wouldn't be happy with
• 37:06
  the million dollar salary? I remember so clearly when I first moved to Sydney, I went to
• 37:13
  like a random uncle. He wasn't to be honest, even really an uncle and I stayed in Manly. Do you
• 37:18
  remember that? That beautiful house. And I remember my friend came around one day and she was just
• 37:23
  like, it was like on the water, looking at it, it was beautiful. She's like, oh, you just couldn't
• 37:27
  have a bad day living here. And it was just so ironic because I'd been really struggling. I'm
• 37:32
  pretty sure I just like lost my job and like my contract hadn't been renewed. And I was so
• 37:37
  anxious and felt really low in lame. And I remember her saying that and I think, yeah, it is just
• 37:43
  money just doesn't buy. And beautiful things doesn't mean that your experience in the world is
• 37:49
  any shiny. It just means the stuff around you shine. But I think, yeah, I mean, like, I don't
• 37:55
  have to be honest. I didn't really have any ideas for like what this podcast would be about. We're
• 37:58
  kind of just rambled about my life in your life. But I think for anyone that is listening that's
• 38:03
  navigating whether it be short or long-term goals or feeling a bit like, okay, I'm not really using
• 38:08
  my salary maybe in the best way and like getting part way through the month and feeling a little
• 38:13
  bit like, oh, my money's not going to the things that actually really know that I want. Or you don't
• 38:18
  even know what you want to be like saving your investing for the money reset we're doing. It starts
• 38:23
  at a start of August. So we'll put a link in the podcast show notes because it's a really good
• 38:28
  chance like not only get yourself on like a good sort of like financial pegging or like have a
• 38:33
  little financial sprung claim, but also if you're in a relationship and you want to make sure that
• 38:37
  those matchups really great opportunities to do so. And yeah, do you know also side note,
• 38:43
  do you not maybe feel better? You know, you said you'd take a money out of your investments like
• 38:47
  a chunk of art that made me feel better. Yeah. So it's not me. Yeah, I kind of just assumed
• 38:54
  you'd be like, no, no, I've still got a hundred in there. No, but he's built it back up, definitely.
• 38:58
  Yeah, okay. Okay. I'm going to touch with your, just get in touch. I want to know the relationship stuff.
• 39:04
  Yeah, really want people to like seeing us in a surgery and email on the relationship because I'd
• 39:08
  love to start looking at us in a bit more than a year. How you split your, yeah, finances with your
• 39:12
  partner, what works for you, what you've tried, what you haven't. Okay, bye. Thank you so much
• 39:20
  for listening to Raising the Curve. These conversations are designed to teach you everything that
• 39:24
  you need to know to be better with your money, from saving, to investing, to talking to your friends
• 39:29
  about your salaries. And if you liked what you heard, we would love it. If you could hit subscribe
• 39:34
  button, please leave a review. It'll only take five seconds and it would really make our week.
• 39:41
  Our month. Okay. Lots of love. See you soon. Bye.
• 39:49
  Hey, so if you're ready to buy a property yet, maybe your first home.
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