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What Is Healthy Masculine Behavior? | Divine Masculine Energy · Mindful Success Path

• 0:32
  There's a lot of confusion in these spiritual spaces about divine, feminine and divine masculine and what healthy versus unhealthy behavior is.
• 0:40
  And lately we've been seeing a lot of unhealthy examples.
• 0:44
  Of people using these terms, but totally distorting them into something that they are not.
• 0:51
  On one hand we have things like twin flames universe and that whole twin flames thing where basically it's trauma bonding relationships.
• 0:58
  And on the other hand, we got people like Aubrey Marcus basically starting a sex cult and getting into polygamy and his wife completely confused about what divine masculine behavior actually is.
• 1:11
  These men are not divine mass.
• 1:12
  Masculine, they're feminized men with a lot of ego.
• 1:16
  So today what we're gonna be doing, because so many of you have shared stories in the comments about how you ended up in relationships with these kinds of men and how horrendous it was, we're gonna do a solid for the younger women and we're gonna do a solid for the women who thankfully have not had to experience this.
• 1:33
  And we're gonna be explaining, um, you know, what is.
• 1:37
  Actual healthy, divine masculine behavior because it's not your husband passing you off to his friends and him planning out the whole thing.
• 1:47
  Right.
• 1:47
  And it's not, you know, there being a runner and a chaser and somebody abandoning somebody else.
• 1:53
  None of this is healthy.
• 1:54
  Behavior from either party.
• 1:56
  But today we're gonna be talking specifically about masculine energy.
• 2:00
  Hi, my name is Amanda Abya.
• 2:02
  Welcome to Mindful Success Path, where we talk about how to get what you want in life without all the extra stress, chaos, and drama that most people are accustomed to.
• 2:10
  We talk a lot about nervous system regulation.
• 2:13
  Uh, we talk a lot about.
• 2:15
  Healthy relationship dynamics.
• 2:17
  That's been a hot topic on this channel lately, so if that's something that you're interested in, make sure to subscribe and hit the notification bell so you don't miss a single video that we have coming out on this channel.
• 2:29
  I have a goal of daily videos because so many of you have come in with amazing stories or questions, and I'm trying to get to all of them as much as I can.
• 2:40
  And as always, I always have extra resources to help you guys out.
• 2:43
  So in this case, the extra resource would be a masterclass I just created on what divine masculine versus divine feminine energy actually is.
• 2:53
  What is healthy versus unhealthy?
• 2:54
  And not only that, but how to actually use these principles in your life to manifest what it is that you desire, whether it's a relationship.
• 3:02
  Or a business and how to really balance these things out within yourself so that your outer world starts to change as well.
• 3:09
  You can find the links to everything below.
• 3:12
  Okay, let's get into it.
• 3:13
  Is masculinity toxic?
• 3:15
  Or is it just misunderstood?
• 3:18
  Because here's the other thing, in a world of alpha influencers and that, you know, having total emotional shutdown, and then on the other hand we have these feminized men in the spiritual community, it can get very, very confusing as to what healthy behavior actually is.
• 3:35
  So here's the thing.
• 3:36
  Masculinity in and of itself, we have to start here.
• 3:39
  Okay?
• 3:39
  Masculinity in and of itself is not a problem.
• 3:42
  Okay?
• 3:43
  The wounding of the masculine.
• 3:45
  Is the problem.
• 3:47
  Masculinity in and of itself is neutral.
• 3:49
  It's the expression of it that actually matters.
• 3:53
  So in the case of the alpha influencers, like the red pill guys with the emotional shutdown, you know the guys, the ones who always complain about single moms, but they have no problem creating a bunch of single moms.
• 4:04
  Those guys, you know, in that case.
• 4:07
  Um, that's not healthy, right?
• 4:10
  Because that is a domineering, it's not dominance, it's domineering and it's control and it's a lot of suppression.
• 4:17
  Um, my husband has a theory about what they're suppressing, but that's a conversation for another time on the other hand, right?
• 4:23
  We have the dudes in the spiritual community who under the guise of divine masculine, are really just feminized men with a lot of ego.
• 4:30
  So that's also not a healthy expression, um, of what.
• 4:35
  That is right and you can argue that both, uh, examples are feminized men.
• 4:40
  I have another video on the types of feminized men women need to look out for, and both the red pill guys and the Aubrey Marcuses of the world end up.
• 4:49
  On that list, because the reality is that if the masculinity is not being expressed in a healthy way, it's because the man has become feminized in some way, shape or form.
• 5:01
  Meaning he's kind of sort of thinking like a woman, right?
• 5:04
  He doesn't like actually have the brain of a woman, but they're kind of thinking, uh, like a woman.
• 5:09
  And a lot of women get tripped up and caught up in types of relationships with these men, and then they're just like completely confused and traumatized at the end of it.
• 5:17
  And again, thank you so much for sharing a lot of the stories and the comments.
• 5:20
  'cause I know some of these stories were.
• 5:22
  Very intense and I know that they may not have been, um, easy to share.
• 5:26
  So thank you for sharing those so other people can learn from them.
• 5:30
  And also I was very proud to see that those of you who have been in situations like that, many of you have been able to get out.
• 5:36
  Uh, once you learn what healthy relationship dynamics.
• 5:39
  Are.
• 5:40
  So let's start getting into what the core traits of healthy masculine behavior are.
• 5:45
  So number one is presence, right?
• 5:46
  They're fully grounded, they have focused attention.
• 5:49
  They make others feel safe, heard and held.
• 5:51
  My husband is so good at this.
• 5:53
  It doesn't matter whether it's like an old lady who needs help with something in the neighborhood or me with my emotions, or, I remember we were on a cruise, uh, a couple years ago, and, um.
• 6:06
  We were in the Caribbean and we were doing this excursion and we were snorkeling in the excursion.
• 6:11
  And one of the, the.
• 6:13
  Older women.
• 6:14
  One of the older ladies, um, she must've been in her sixties or something like that.
• 6:18
  She got in the water and I guess she wasn't used to it.
• 6:21
  And she started panicking, uh, in the water.
• 6:23
  Thank God she had a vest on.
• 6:24
  But my husband noticed that she started panicking.
• 6:27
  My husband's a very good swimmer.
• 6:28
  He's done water sports.
• 6:29
  He's a scuba diver.
• 6:30
  All that kind of stuff.
• 6:31
  And he immediately went to her, um, and started calming her down because its instinct immediately came online to make sure that this woman felt safe so that she would not panic, uh, in the middle of the ocean, because that would be very bad.
• 6:45
  So that would be an example of what that looks like, or even in the, um.
• 6:52
  Instance of me, like maybe I'm having an emotional day or it's my hormones or whatever.
• 6:57
  I'm in some part of my cycle or, or saw something that upset me a lot.
• 7:02
  He he'll just like hold me and hug me and make sure he's at steady, safe rock, right?
• 7:07
  Healthy masculine men are steady rocks.
• 7:10
  They're not.
• 7:12
  Bitches.
• 7:13
  Right?
• 7:14
  They have emotional mastery, right?
• 7:18
  Uh, they have emotional mastery, and then they're able to be a safe place, uh, for other people.
• 7:22
  Number two, integrity.
• 7:24
  Huge, right?
• 7:25
  But this, you have to be very careful with because people will, uh, use integrity as a form of manipulation, right?
• 7:31
  And I'll, I'll give an example from.
• 7:33
  Sir Aubrey Marcus, because he is the one giving it to us, uh, lately.
• 7:38
  So integrity means that they walk the talk, um, and that he, he lives by his values even when no one.
• 7:44
  Is watching.
• 7:44
  So there's a common saying that a man's bond is his word, so very ma or his word is his bond.
• 7:51
  And a lot of very masculine men, they live by that, uh, that their word is their bond and they live in integrity.
• 7:57
  They know what their values are, and they walk in those values regardless of whether or not someone is watching, regardless of whether or not they're getting kudos for it, right?
• 8:05
  It's not performative, it's just who they are.
• 8:08
  Now, you do have to be careful with the integrity one, because a lot of these like.
• 8:13
  Spiritual manipulators and the polygamy people and all those guys, they will use this in cults, right?
• 8:20
  They will use this to try and manipulate you.
• 8:22
  So they'll say, are you in integrity?
• 8:24
  But they do that to make it seem like everything is your fault, right?
• 8:27
  And that they can do whatever they want because everything is your fault, right?
• 8:30
  So that's, uh, one of the things to keep in mind.
• 8:33
  It's one of the ways that they gaslight people and, um.
• 8:37
  Control their behavior.
• 8:38
  So you just have to be careful with that one.
• 8:40
  Right?
• 8:40
  It's really just is somebody living up by their values, whether or not someone is watching and making sure that they're, uh, not manipulating you, right?
• 8:49
  Like my husband would never come up to me and be like.
• 8:52
  Are you in integrity?
• 8:53
  Like he, he wouldn't do that.
• 8:54
  You know what I mean?
• 8:55
  Whereas like Aubrey Marcus for example, says things like, well, I wanted to make sure I was in integrity, so I told my wife that I wanted to go fuck another woman.
• 9:04
  Right?
• 9:04
  You see the difference, right?
• 9:06
  Whereas like the value system is, um, you know, uh, you know, how about honoring your marriage vows?
• 9:13
  As a value system, but that value system's not there.
• 9:16
  So rather than cheating on his wife, because he would be a piece of shit if he cheated on her, he created this whole polyamorous spiritual evolution bullshit, right?
• 9:26
  So that he doesn't have to be a piece of shit.
• 9:28
  And then he's calling it integrity.
• 9:30
  Do you see the difference, right, in terms of what that actually looks like?
• 9:35
  Number three is leadership without ego.
• 9:38
  Okay, because leadership with ego turns into dominance and domineering and controlling, and that's not what we're talking about.
• 9:46
  So one of the things is they take initiative without controlling other people.
• 9:50
  Again, Aubrey Marcus is controlling everybody all around him, like a little puppet, master twin flames.
• 9:55
  People probably are doing the exact same thing for those of you in the spiritual community and those in the red pill community.
• 10:00
  They're just trying to have dominance and control, uh, over women, but not in a healthy way.
• 10:04
  And then also they offer direction, right?
• 10:08
  So you'll notice this about the healthy masculine.
• 10:10
  They always wanna solve a problem.
• 10:12
  They are very future focused.
• 10:14
  Um, they're the ones providing direction a lot of time.
• 10:18
  That's healthy masculine behavior.
• 10:20
  A lot of women get caught up in relationship with dudes who don't make decisions, who don't move anything forward, who don't fix any problems, and they're absolutely frustrated.
• 10:28
  It's because they're not in their healthy, uh, masculine energy.
• 10:32
  And there's lots of reasons as to why in that particular situation, men could end up.
• 10:37
  Uh, behaving in that way.
• 10:39
  Sometimes the woman is extremely controlling and has emasculated him without knowing.
• 10:44
  So that's totally possible.
• 10:45
  But that would be an example.
• 10:47
  Number four is protection, not possessiveness.
• 10:50
  Uh, so the, the masculine will create safety physically and also emotionally.
• 10:55
  Okay, so I created, I, uh, every video I've done, breaking down the Aubrey Marcus thing, the twin flames thing.
• 11:02
  One of the common denominators here is that there is no emotional safety.
• 11:06
  In either of those, uh, situations, right?
• 11:09
  And in the case of red pills and those kind of guys, they're also not creating emotional safety because again, they have, they complain about single moms, but they have absolutely no problem creating single moms.
• 11:20
  There's no safety in that.
• 11:21
  And in that case, it's emotionally and physically there's no safety because they're literally putting her.
• 11:26
  In a vulnerable position, right?
• 11:28
  So don't date any dudes who follow Andrew Tate or any of that stuff, right?
• 11:32
  And then the thing is that the masculine honors, uh, also honors autonomy, so he doesn't try to own anyone.
• 11:37
  So in the case of the red pill guys, they try to own.
• 11:40
  Women.
• 11:40
  Right?
• 11:40
  And they try to control everything that they're doing.
• 11:43
  In the case of the spiritual manipulators, they're also owning people and what they're doing with their bodies.
• 11:48
  They're just like really a lot more manipulative and kind of coercive about it.
• 11:52
  Whereas the red pill guys are more like overly doing it.
• 11:56
  I hope that made sense Then.
• 11:58
  Uh, emotional resilience or emotional mastery?
• 12:01
  Healthy masculine men have emotional mastery.
• 12:04
  Okay.
• 12:05
  And I said this before, right?
• 12:06
  They feel deeply like there are some very sensitive men out there, but they're not reactive with it and they don't collapse or lash out under stress.
• 12:14
  The masculine can handle a lot more stress than the feminine can.
• 12:18
  Okay.
• 12:19
  Physically.
• 12:20
  Uh, and psychologically they can handle more of it.
• 12:22
  And then, you know, there's also this idea of like.
• 12:26
  A hunter brain versus a farmer brain.
• 12:28
  There's this really great book called Driven.
• 12:30
  So if you, you, um, identify as a high achieving person, I highly recommend reading the book Driven because it's gonna help you make sense of a lot of things in your life and your relationships, uh, with other people.
• 12:44
  Life changing book, if you consider yourself to be like a high achieving driven person, but, um, the masculine, the healthy masculine can typically take a lot more stress.
• 12:54
  Then the feminine can, they do not lash out under stress.
• 12:57
  They do not collapse under stress.
• 12:58
  It's quite the opposite.
• 12:59
  Stress builds them, uh, a service oriented power, right?
• 13:04
  So, uh, healthy masculine men will use their strength to uplift other people, not dominate this.
• 13:09
  I also see my husband doing this in the meditation classes that we facilitate here in Mexico with a lot of our teachers.
• 13:17
  Uh, he will.
• 13:18
  Um, we facilitate and part of our job as facilitators is to like maintain the energy while the teacher.
• 13:24
  Uh, is teaching and now we're getting trained in a lot of these modalities.
• 13:27
  And I will see my husband, um, you know, using that or, or share some of his experiences like as we're going through the classes to uplift other people rather than trying to control and dominate them.
• 13:40
  Um, masculine men are also purpose driven, not status driven.
• 13:44
  So you'll realize that a lot of feminized men and a lot of unhealthy men are totally driven by status healthy, masculine men.
• 13:53
  Are driven by purpose.
• 13:54
  Maybe the purpose is providing for your family.
• 13:57
  Maybe the purpose is some sort of a business that they have.
• 14:00
  Maybe the purpose is being a good husband.
• 14:02
  Maybe the purpose is being a good father.
• 14:04
  Maybe the purpose is some sort of, um.
• 14:07
  You know, a community leadership or something, or it could be all of the above, right?
• 14:11
  But there's something having to do with purpose and not status.
• 14:14
  They don't really give a about status, um, at all.
• 14:18
  Actually, number seven is decisiveness.
• 14:22
  Okay?
• 14:23
  Masculine men make decisions.
• 14:24
  They don't leave all the decisions to a youth.
• 14:27
  Okay.
• 14:28
  Uh, and the thing is that they can lead without bulldozing and they can, I think, I think any smart person can do this is balance, intuition and emotional intelligence, uh, with action.
• 14:39
  But that's also a sign of a healthy masculine man.
• 14:41
  It would also be the sign of a healthy masculine, uh, woman.
• 14:45
  It's just the health, sorry, healthy, feminine woman.
• 14:47
  It's just the feminine woman would lean more on the intuition.
• 14:50
  That's basically the only difference.
• 14:52
  And then finally, a healthy masculine man.
• 14:54
  He supports the feminine, right?
• 14:56
  So.
• 14:57
  He will because he is a provider.
• 14:59
  Okay?
• 14:59
  So he will provide for the feminine.
• 15:01
  He will provide safety financially, emotionally, physically.
• 15:05
  He doesn't fear her emotions, her beauty, or some of her chaos.
• 15:09
  Now, I've said this before, like healthy, masculine men don't like drama.
• 15:13
  Right, especially the driven ones.
• 15:15
  They do not like drama.
• 15:16
  They do not like drama queens.
• 15:17
  They don't like unnecessary chaos because it takes them off their purpose, okay?
• 15:23
  They don't like it.
• 15:24
  However, right?
• 15:26
  Women, we do go through more emotional cycles and more seasons of life, and we are more in tune with their, our emotions.
• 15:32
  They're not afraid of our emotions at all.
• 15:36
  In fact, I remember this was many, many years ago.
• 15:39
  Someone I was dating before my husband, um, and I, I was so pissed at this person.
• 15:44
  I was so pissed.
• 15:45
  Uh, we both had actually been manipulated by like a huge narcissist that was in our lives and we were pawns in a game, and I had just found that out and I was so pissed, right?
• 15:55
  I was like, ah.
• 15:57
  And he just stood there and took it.
• 15:59
  He even smiled at one point and I was like, oh my God, this man took it.
• 16:03
  Right?
• 16:04
  Because there are a lot of men out there who would not.
• 16:07
  Okay.
• 16:07
  And I always remember that as kind of an example of a man being able to hold space for a woman's emotions.
• 16:13
  My husband does the same thing, uh, by the way, but I always remember that guy was in the military, right?
• 16:18
  So he could just handle a lot of stress.
• 16:20
  Um, also probably had more of like the driven hunter, high achieving brain.
• 16:27
  Um, but.
• 16:28
  I always remember that as an example because that was the first time I understood this concept, right?
• 16:35
  So by the time I got to my husband, I already knew what to look out for, and that relationship was actually a teacher, insofar as that's when I understood that lesson that I could be at my emotions and a masculine man, un doesn't even budge.
• 16:51
  Doesn't budge, doesn't scream, doesn't yell.
• 16:54
  Just sits there, takes it.
• 16:58
  And holds the space for you.
• 16:59
  And that was my first lesson in that.
• 17:01
  And I remember being like, whoa.
• 17:03
  'cause I'd finally gotten it.
• 17:04
  Uh, that had not been my experience up until that point with, with men.
• 17:08
  And it may not be your experience up until this point either.
• 17:10
  So I wanted to illustrate that as one of the examples.
• 17:14
  Uh, and again, the, the healthy masculine supports the feminine so far as they hold space without trying to fix, uh, or control.
• 17:22
  Very important.
• 17:23
  Now they do have some level of control, like they have control over.
• 17:27
  How they make money, they have control over their house because it's like.
• 17:30
  Being the protector.
• 17:31
  So they wanna have some level of control and they do love to fix problems and that's a good thing, but they don't go overboard with it in terms of trying to control you, uh, the feminine, right?
• 17:42
  So for example, my husband loves that I started another YouTube channel because it lights me up and it's very creative, right?
• 17:48
  And he will hold space for it, uh, both in terms of my creativity.
• 17:52
  But also, um, in terms of like helping with the structures behind it, or if some tech thing breaks, he, he will handle it.
• 17:59
  But he is not trying to control me and be like, you can't do that.
• 18:01
  I need you doing all this over here.
• 18:03
  Does that make sense?
• 18:04
  Right.
• 18:04
  It's, it's the opposite.
• 18:05
  He wants me to like flourish and do the things that bring me joy, uh, and bring me happiness.
• 18:11
  All right.
• 18:12
  So those are examples of what actual healthy masculine behavior looks like.
• 18:17
  I'm gonna add one more on here, which is containment.
• 18:20
  We talked a little bit in terms of containment and protection in terms of the emotions and being present for a woman's emotions, but there's another form of containment and that, and, and that is, uh, being a bit territorial.
• 18:32
  So they're territorial about their loved ones.
• 18:35
  They're territorial about their work, and they're territorial about their house.
• 18:39
  Because that is the protective nature.
• 18:41
  So if you see a man.
• 18:43
  Who doesn't protect you in any of those ways, or is saying you could be free and do whatever you want.
• 18:48
  He's probably not healthy.
• 18:50
  He's probably a feminized man because most healthy masculine men would not actually let you do whatever you want, if it was going to harm you.
• 18:58
  Okay.
• 18:59
  And that's the key thing here.
• 19:00
  And unfortunately, a lot of these things that are geared toward.
• 19:04
  Free sex and free love and all that stuff are actually harmful.
• 19:08
  But there's a lot of confusion in terms of that.
• 19:11
  And then if you call that out, you like get canceled or.
• 19:14
  You just don't understand or you're just not enlightened enough as we've been told lately.
• 19:20
  So I wanted to add, uh, that one in, because I forgot to mention that when we were talking about, um, the control that they have, it's also that healthy men are territorial.
• 19:31
  Their territorial about the ones they love, their territorials about their work, they're territorial about, um, their home because they have to protect these things from danger.
• 19:41
  So if a man is not doing that.
• 19:44
  He's a bitch, for lack of a better term.
• 19:48
  All right, guys.
• 19:49
  I hope you guys enjoyed this video.
• 19:51
  Once again, the extra resources will all be in the description below.
• 19:57
  Also, make sure to join our email list.
• 19:59
  You can find the information on how to do that below as well, because I will send out discounts to workshops and courses and things, uh, on the email list before anybody else even knows about it.
• 20:10
  Thank you so much for giving me your time today.
• 20:11
  I'll catch you on the next one.