Latest / The Kathie Owen Perspective Podcast / 67. Change Your Self Image Change Your Life Psychocybernetics
Transcript
- 0:00Everything in life is a mental picture.
- 0:02Every goal you have begins as a picture in your mind and anything you don't like about yourself or your life can be changed by your mental picture.
- 0:13You're listening to the stop, the mind screw podcast.
- 0:16I'm your host, Kathy Owen.
- 0:18I have been a certified fitness trainer and certified life coach since 2002.
- 0:23I help others transform their lives.
- 0:26Using stop the mind screw process on this channel.
- 0:29We talk about fitness, having a growth mindset habits, and even some Reality Transurfing.
- 0:36Today, we are discussing how to change your life by changing your self image with tips from chapter one of Psycho-Cybernetics let's get into the episode.
- 0:47The self image can be changed.
- 0:49That mental picture you have of yourself can be changed.
- 0:53And numerous case studies have shown that one is never too young or too old to change his or her self image and thereby start to live a new life.
- 1:10There are many concepts in psychology that try to explain our behavior.
- 1:14One of the most powerful ones is the concept of the self image.
- 1:19What is the self image and how does it influence me and my life?
- 1:24When teaching stop the mind screw process, we start right here.
- 1:28Why?
- 1:29Because the self image has flaws.
- 1:31We will always mind screw ourselves out of success and happiness.
- 1:37Think about it.
- 1:38If everything in life is a mental picture, then think about how we can change that negative self image that says I am fat.
- 1:46I am not confident.
- 1:48I am not good at connecting with others.
- 1:50This does more damage than good.
- 1:52Let's discuss.
- 1:55Discovery of the real self understanding the psychology of the self can mean the difference between success and failure, love and hate bitterness and happiness.
- 2:08The discovery of the real self can rescue a crumbling marriage, recreate a faltering career and transform victims of personality.
- 2:19Failure in air quotes, personality failure.
- 2:24Your real self means the difference between freedom and the compulsions of conformity.
- 2:30Wouldn't you enjoy the freedom of loving yourself, loving the life you live, feeling great about the goals you set.
- 2:37It is possible.
- 2:39And we will discuss this here.
- 2:43Introducing the self image, Dr.
- 2:47Maltz the author of Psycho-Cybernetics found that plastic surgery did not only affect the physical appearance of someone, but produced incisions deep into the human psyche.
- 3:01Remember that gal I told you about at the beginning of the episode.
- 3:04Yeah, she was a gal.
- 3:06I knew in my early twenties and she was very young herself, but she was addicted to plastic surgery.
- 3:15I could not understand why for the life of me.
- 3:19And she had so many different surgeries, any kind of surgery that was out at the time.
- 3:25This was in the early 90.
- 3:27She had it.
- 3:28She even had one surgery that was detrimental for the rest of her life.
- 3:35What she did was she wanted to be taller and she had vertebraes inserted into her spine to make her taller.
- 3:44When she had this surgery, she ended up in a wheelchair paralyzed for the rest of her life.
- 3:54And she didn't even need it.
- 3:56In my opinion.
- 3:57And looking at her, she was tall.
- 4:00She was beautiful.
- 4:01She was awesome.
- 4:04But she had a self image that didn't align with her true self.
- 4:12Dr.
- 4:12Maltz in psycho cybernetics saw the same exact thing that I'm talking about right there.
- 4:19That there is something at the core of our minds that determines how we see ourselves, regardless of the objective reality and thus how we feel and behave.
- 4:31This is what is called the self-image the, self-image our own concept of the kind of person that we are.
- 4:41Do you label yourself as insert the blank, bad label, change that by changing your self image, it is easier than you think.
- 4:51What is your mental blueprint?
- 4:53The most important psychological discovery of this century is the discovery of the self image.
- 4:59Whether we realize it or not, each of us carries about with us a mental blueprint or a picture of ourselves.
- 5:07It may be vague and ill defined to our conscious gaze.
- 5:12In fact, it may not be consciously recognizable at all.
- 5:18All of your actions, your feelings, behaviors, even your abilities are always consistent with this self image.
- 5:27In short, you will act like the sort of person you conceive yourself to be.
- 5:34This self image has been built upon and shaped by our own beliefs about ourselves.
- 5:40Most of these have been ingrained unconsciously from our past experiences, successes and failures.
- 5:48From all of these, we mentally construct a self or a picture of self.
- 5:53The key is that our actions, feelings, behaviors, even our abilities are always consistent with this self image.
- 6:02My friend who had all those surgeries, I often wonder where her stories came from.
- 6:07She was beautiful only in her early thirties and vibrant, but she had no self-esteem she had no self-image she thought so low of her self.
- 6:18She became addicted to plastic surgery.
- 6:22Why surgery did not help them.
- 6:24For those patients who always had a positive self image about themselves and suffered an accident in the surgery, restored their physical appearance and put it back with their self image for others who had built up a negative self image about themselves through lifelong experiences of rejection and feelings of self consciousness, the surgery could not change their feelings of inadequacy.
- 6:55The self image was still the same.
- 6:57These were the patients who claimed that the disfigurement was still there and continued to feel self-conscious about their appearance.
- 7:07I see this with clients I've trained over the years.
- 7:09They lose the weight, but they don't see how great they look.
- 7:14They start feeling great and confident for their age, but they still feel old.
- 7:20They may even have started dating somebody that they thought they really wanted, but they still suffer from something that holds them back.
- 7:31In short, you will act like the sort of person you conceive yourself to be not only this, but you literally cannot act otherwise.
- 7:40In spite of all your conscious efforts and will of power, therefore the, the self-image sets the boundaries of the individual accomplishment.
- 7:51It determines what you can and cannot do.
- 7:56This one little thing could make all the difference in us achieving our goals.
- 8:02That one little thing! Are you on our email list?
- 8:07Consider joining today.
- 8:08We offer exclusive weekly content related to fitness, having a growth mindset and habits.
- 8:15There's a download the hot habit checklist.
- 8:18Download that will have you building healthy, happy habits in no time bonus content from Kathie's coaching, including a mental diet resource guide and a definite chief aim template.
- 8:30And more, you can find this at www.kathieowen.com/fitness.
- 8:38I hope to see you there now.
- 8:40Let's get back to the episode.
- 8:42Expand the self image and you expand the area of possible.
- 8:48The development of an adequate realistic self image will seemingly give us new capabilities and talents and allow us to unlock our true potential.
- 9:01Dr.
- 9:01Maltz summarized it like this to really live.
- 9:05That is to find life reasonably satisfying.
- 9:10You must have an adequate and realistic self image that you can live with.
- 9:15You must find yourself acceptable to you.
- 9:20You must know yourself, both your strengths and your weaknesses, and be honest with your self concerning both.
- 9:26Your self-image must be reasonable approximation of you.
- 9:32Being neither more than you are nor less than you are.
- 9:39In short the self image is the key to human personality and human behavior.
- 9:44Change your self image you change your personality and behavior.
- 9:50So how does one change the self image?
- 9:52One of the reasons it has seemed so difficult for people to change their habits, personality, or way of life has been that all the efforts, strategies, and techniques that are used, don't really affect the image we have of ourselves.
- 10:11So, how do you change the picture we have about ourselves?
- 10:15It cannot be influenced or changed by willpower knowledge alone, but by sheer experiencing.
- 10:25As your self image was modified by experiences in the past, it can be changed again in the same method.
- 10:33Let me explain.
- 10:35Cybernetics and the auto mechanism, the premise of cybernetics is that our brain and nervous system constitute a goal striving mechanism, which can be set to either failure or success, depending on how you operate it, especially through the goals you set for this mechanism.
- 10:55Humans are innately goal driven creatures.
- 10:59We always have goals, even if we are aware of it or not.
- 11:03Because our brain sees the pictures we hold in our heads as the goals we're striving for.
- 11:11The fact can be seen in this simple example of picking up a pen, the association or image you have in your head.
- 11:19Is the goal that the automatic mechanism acts upon.
- 11:24You simply pick up the pen without any conscious thoughts.
- 11:29What does that have to do with our self image?
- 11:31The self image itself is the main image that our goal striving mechanism is oriented on.
- 11:37Therefore it sets the limits for the accomplishment of any particular goals, the area of possible this mechanism, however, can work both as a success or a failure mechanism.
- 11:53Depending on the goal we set for it by the data we feed into it.
- 11:58I talked about this a little bit about the success mechanism and failure mechanism and a few weeks ago, in part two of Psycho-Cybernetics, I'll have a link to that episode in the show notes and description, which will be the blog post that goes with this episode.
- 12:18If we hold thoughts and pictures of worry, unworthiness inferiority in capability or failure, a negative self-image, you know, in our head, then our subconscious mind will process that as the goal to strive for.
- 12:38What's really going on your body language and attitude will adapt without you even being consciously aware of it.
- 12:47You will then indeed repel others, isolate yourself and start the self-fulfilling prophecy.
- 12:53You act and feel not according to what things are really like.
- 12:58But according to the image, your mind holds of what they are like.
- 13:04You have a certain mental image of yourself, your world, and the people around you and you behave as though these images were the truth, rather than the things they actually represent.
- 13:19you will not be able to act otherwise then according to these limiting beliefs and will find the result in the form of an objective experience.
- 13:30This is how thoughts can create reality.
- 13:34AKA, my beautiful friend had to have all these surgeries because according to her reality, in her mind, she had limiting beliefs.
- 13:45We've all been there.
- 13:49What to do then only positive thinking?
- 13:53Positive thinking is indeed effective, but only when consistent with the overall self image.
- 13:59Change the self image first, then positive thinking will be the seeds that fall on the fertile soil.
- 14:07Have you ever thought about having a positive vision for yourself?
- 14:10Maybe picturing in your mind a few minutes, every single day, that vision.
- 14:15My friend, who had to have all those surgeries thought she could not wait for the changes to take place.
- 14:22It does take time just like planting seeds and nurturing them to grow.
- 14:27So we must also imagine what we want.
- 14:32Goal setting through imagination.
- 14:35Research has shown that the human nervous system cannot tell the difference between an actual experience and an experience imagine vividly and in detail.
- 14:45What does that mean for the self image?
- 14:47If you can imagine your desired future life situation.
- 14:51So extremely.
- 14:53Vividly and with such details and emotions as if it were already an accomplished fact, your brain will accept it as a real experience.
- 15:06This is exactly why we start with what we want in vivid detail in Stop the Mind screw.
- 15:14I even created a template for your definite chief aim.
- 15:18That is a bonus download.
- 15:19When you sign up for my email list, the link is in the show notes and the description today.
- 15:24And I've already mentioned that.
- 15:28When you know exactly what you want.
- 15:31You will then adjust your subconscious behavior and attitude to make your actions congruent with that new mental image in short creative, mental picturing, or imaging sets a new goal for the automatic mechanism to strive for and will install this imagined situation as the new self-image.
- 15:55Now, how can we implement this habit of creating a mental picture.
- 16:03Introducing the theater of the mind.
- 16:06To effectively change your self image it is essential to regularly make use of creative, mental picturing.
- 16:14Dr.
- 16:14Maltz called it a mental movie that you regularly watch in the theater of your mind.
- 16:21First, you need to develop a script for your mental movie.
- 16:24You need to define your goal or end results.
- 16:27It can be any new life situation you want to be in or an ability you want to have.
- 16:33For example, you picture yourself in your dream job or doing something you are really scared of.
- 16:40Maybe it's public speaking or having a job interview.
- 16:44Picture the situation vividly and have clear image of what is happening.
- 16:51Then capture the feeling you would experience.
- 16:54If the desired goal were already accomplished fact.
- 16:58We'll discuss this a little bit deeper in just a minute, but what feeling would you have?
- 17:04Would it be freedom, courage, empowerment, really tune into that feeling.
- 17:11And while having the pictures in mind.
- 17:16Second, write the script down and make sure to memorize it so that you can recall and watch that mental movie whenever you'd like.
- 17:25Third, make the theater of the mind a fixed part of your daily routine for about 10 minutes every single day.
- 17:34Watch your mental movie awake, the empowering feeling.
- 17:40It gives you and prime yourself for success.
- 17:46Further understanding number one, evoke that winning feeling before starting your mental movie, it is crucial to engage your subconscious mind by remembering what Maltz calls the winning feeling.
- 17:59If you struggle with simply tuning into the emotions that you want to feel during your mental movie, then start with an emotion from the past, recall a past situation that made you feel good about yourself and gave you a similar emotion.
- 18:16It can be as simple as riding the bicycle for the first time learning to tie your shoes or any other thing that made you feel proud and happy about yourself.
- 18:25It does not matter when this experience took place.
- 18:28It is about the feeling you got from it.
- 18:32What sounds were there?
- 18:33What about your environment?
- 18:35What else was happening around you at the time?
- 18:38What objects were present?
- 18:41What time of year was it?
- 18:43Were you cold or were you hot?
- 18:46You keep feeling the desired emotion, but now combine it with your new mental movie.
- 18:52This will allow you to intensify the experience, make it more real and thus make your self-image stick.
- 19:03The more detailed.
- 19:03You can make it the better.
- 19:05If you can remember in sufficient detail, just what happened when you were successful at something in the past, you will find yourself feeling just as you felt, then try to remember your particular feelings at the time.
- 19:18If you can remember your winning feeling from the past, it will be reactivated in the present.
- 19:24So you are carrying that reactivated, winning feeling.
- 19:28Into your mental movie.
- 19:31Use relaxation and let the subconscious do the work..
- 19:36After supplying the goal to your subconscious mind, don't try to interfere with its working and accelerate the process by willpower.
- 19:44This would only interfere with the automatic mechanism.
- 19:48This is force like we talked about in the levels of consciousness by Dr.
- 19:53David Hawkins in Power vs Force.
- 19:56After you formed a mental image of the goal, you seek to create the, how will come to you.
- 20:02Not before.
- 20:04It will come after you remain calm and relaxed, and the answers will arrive any attempt to force the ideas to come will not work as Brian Tracy wrote in all mental workings effort defeats itself.
- 20:21After practicing your creative, mental picturing, the focus should be on relaxation and on letting the subconscious do the work..
- 20:31This is what creative people of all times found to be the best way to come up with new ideas, inspirations or solutions Bertran Russell wrote in his book, The Conquest of Happiness,"I have found for example, that if I have to write upon some other difficult topic, the best plan is to think about it with very great intensity, the greatest intensity of which I am capable for a few hours or days.
- 21:03And at the end of that time, give orders.
- 21:06So to speak that the work is to proceed underground.
- 21:11After some months, I return consciously to the topic and find that the work has been done." This is why it is best to make the mental movie part of your evening routine.
- 21:25You then have a great transition from priming your subconscious mind to relaxation and letting it do the work.
- 21:32As Thomas' Edison said,"never go to sleep without a request to your subconscious." Number three, listen to your subconscious and act upon it.
- 21:44Your subconscious will connect the dots to make your mental movie a reality and a plan with the needed steps will unfold.
- 21:53How you are going to accomplish the result you seek.
- 21:57This happens often through hunches and ideas during a relaxed moment.
- 22:02For example, in the shower, you I'm sure you've experienced this, or right after waking up.
- 22:10Write these ideas down and act according to them, it will be easier for you to do that.
- 22:16If you keep your end goal in awareness.
- 22:19It will feel less effortful and more automatic.
- 22:22I love to do this in my dream big page inside my notion journal.
- 22:28You are however, still responsible for holding yourself accountable that you take daily action towards your goals.
- 22:36The change will not suddenly come into your life while you sit on the couch and wait, distractions and negative influences can easily bring you off your path.
- 22:49Remember, every single thing that happens is in contribution to your end goal, the journey and the destination are one.
- 23:00Putting it into practice.
- 23:02Ask yourself, what is your vision?
- 23:05Where do you want to be in five years?
- 23:07Try to come up with a vivid image of your life situation and how it will make you feel.
- 23:14Start to revisit it before going to sleep.
- 23:16Over time, you can develop a habit around it and regularly enter the theater of the mind.
- 23:23You'll be amazed by the changes that your life will take from there.
- 23:29In summary and where this all began, everything in life is a mental picture.
- 23:35Every goal you have begins as a picture in your mind and anything you don't like about yourself or your life can be changed by changing your mental pictures.
- 23:47All right.
- 23:47That's my episode for today.
- 23:49Thank you for spending part of your day with me.
- 23:51If you know someone who can benefit from this episode, please share it with them.
- 23:55And until next time I'll see you next time Peace Out and Namaste.