Latest / Do You F*cking Mind? / The Reset You Actually Need - Day 1. How to stop feeling stuck by changing your state

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The Reset You Actually Need - Day 1. How to stop feeling stuck by changing your state · Do You F*cking Mind?

0:00
Speaker 1: Hello, my beautiful beans, and welcome back to the podcast
0:03
Speaker 1: for the year. So it's now twenty twenty six, and
0:06
Speaker 1: as usual, I'm starting the year with a mini series
0:10
Speaker 1: and this miniseriies is the racet that you actually need.
0:13
Speaker 1: As usual, I am going to say that I'm very excited.
0:16
Speaker 1: It sounds like I'm always very excited about every episode,
0:19
Speaker 1: but especially this miniseriies because I just love I love
0:24
Speaker 1: a fresh start, I love the start of the year.
0:26
Speaker 1: It's been last year with such a big year, so
0:29
Speaker 1: many good things happened, so many big changes in my life.
0:32
Speaker 2: But I'm also really excited to get, you know, to hit.
0:34
Speaker 1: The ground running, to put my head down into work,
0:36
Speaker 1: into rest, into play, into family life, into everything, into
0:39
Speaker 1: really striking that balance this year. So that's kind of
0:43
Speaker 1: what we're going to be talking about over the next
0:45
Speaker 1: ten days. And by ten days, I mean Monday to
0:47
Speaker 1: Friday this week, Monday.
0:49
Speaker 2: To Friday next week.
0:50
Speaker 1: I'm going to be releasing an episode every single day
0:53
Speaker 1: on a weekday, Roughly, I'm guessing.
0:56
Speaker 2: Around the twenty minute mark.
0:57
Speaker 1: That's kind of the aim and the reason I do
1:00
Speaker 1: this and the reason I've done it the last two
1:01
Speaker 1: years prior to this year is because I find that
1:05
Speaker 1: when you're really starting something new, the more kind of
1:07
Speaker 1: you hit it every single day, the easier it is
1:10
Speaker 1: to become a part of your everyday routine, a part
1:13
Speaker 1: of your everyday self. Okay, So you know, you might
1:17
Speaker 1: skim across these and just pick and choose the days
1:19
Speaker 1: that kind of really sing out to you, which is
1:20
Speaker 1: perfectly fine, But I would love for you to kind
1:23
Speaker 1: of visit every single episode, really dive deep, because you
1:27
Speaker 1: might not think that this episode or that a particular
1:30
Speaker 1: topic would relate to you, but you might find some
1:32
Speaker 1: nuggets of gold that you can really put into action
1:34
Speaker 1: and use, and you might find it really help you
1:36
Speaker 1: in other areas of your life. Okay, so that's what
1:39
Speaker 1: we're talking about in this mini series. I'll do a
1:41
Speaker 1: very quick life update. Yeah, it is the first kind
1:45
Speaker 1: of proper episode back in the year. The rest were
1:48
Speaker 1: kind of just OnCore episodes. For the last kind of
1:51
Speaker 1: three weeks, I took a proper break. It was really
1:53
Speaker 1: really nice. We went down to Woollongong for a bit.
1:56
Speaker 1: I also went up to Queensland for one of my
1:58
Speaker 1: friend's birthdays. Christmas, the first Christmas with the twins, was
2:02
Speaker 1: just the Oh my god, the cutest thing in the world.
2:03
Speaker 1: The outfits that we could put them in was the best.
2:05
Speaker 1: They had these little Santa outfits. If you don't follow
2:08
Speaker 1: me on Instagram, go fucking follow me at Alexis Fernandez
2:10
Speaker 1: breaks up.
2:11
Speaker 2: They're fucking so cute. Anyway, it was really really good.
2:15
Speaker 2: And one thing that.
2:16
Speaker 1: I really loved about this whole time off is that
2:20
Speaker 1: two things. Number One, I actually got to switch off properly.
2:23
Speaker 1: That was really really nice. I've found out since having
2:26
Speaker 1: the kids, I thought my life would be a lot
2:28
Speaker 1: more frantic and intense, but it's actually weirdly, even though
2:31
Speaker 1: there's a lot on my plate, it's allowed me to
2:34
Speaker 1: slow down. I'm more present than I've ever been, and
2:37
Speaker 1: I think it's because I'm so aware at how fast
2:40
Speaker 1: they grow, so I thought, wow, I can't miss out
2:42
Speaker 1: on these moments because you blink and they're just not
2:44
Speaker 1: what they were when they were one month old versus
2:46
Speaker 1: two versus three. And it's made me not just present
2:49
Speaker 1: with them, but it's made me present in other things.
2:52
Speaker 1: I'm using my phone and my social media a lot
2:54
Speaker 1: more intentionally. I'm just not on social media as much.
2:57
Speaker 1: Still love it, still love it, but I just is
3:00
Speaker 1: less the doom scrolling. I mean, every so often around
3:03
Speaker 1: the human I do it, but in general, I found
3:05
Speaker 1: that I'm just more present, more calm, more in the moment,
3:08
Speaker 1: and I'm really enjoying that and I want to ride
3:10
Speaker 1: that wave. Another thing that I realized is that I'm
3:14
Speaker 1: really wanting to get more and more and more into
3:16
Speaker 1: written content as well. So I am going to be
3:19
Speaker 1: having a blog component off my podcast coming out for
3:22
Speaker 1: those of you that really like to read or to
3:25
Speaker 1: reiterate and consolidate what they've learned in the episode in
3:29
Speaker 1: more of a written form. So that's going to be
3:31
Speaker 1: coming out very very very soon, a blog that is
3:35
Speaker 1: podcast content and also additional other kind of content as well,
3:39
Speaker 1: which will be free to access, and I will be
3:41
Speaker 1: sharing that when that goes live. But I'm really enjoying
3:43
Speaker 1: writing because another announcement, I am writing my fourth book.
3:47
Speaker 1: I don't know if I've already mentioned that to you guys,
3:48
Speaker 1: but I am writing my fourth book. And it's something
3:51
Speaker 1: that I kind of signed the contract on with my
3:54
Speaker 1: publisher just before, like probably two months before the twins
3:57
Speaker 1: were born. And yeah, there's been times where I thought
4:01
Speaker 1: there's no way in hell I'm going to be hitting
4:03
Speaker 1: the due date deadline of this.
4:05
Speaker 2: And then there's other days where I sit.
4:06
Speaker 1: Down and I really start pouring everything out onto paper
4:10
Speaker 1: and I feel like, yeah, I'm definitely going to hit
4:12
Speaker 1: that deadline. So I'll keep you updated if I hit
4:14
Speaker 1: the deadline or not. But it's looming. It's very soon,
4:16
Speaker 1: but I'm very excited. I won't tell you what it's
4:18
Speaker 1: about yet, but it is something very close to my
4:20
Speaker 1: heart and I'm pumped. Anyway, good times. Let's get straight
4:23
Speaker 1: into the podcast. Episode off today. Grab a pen, grab
4:27
Speaker 1: a piece of paper, grab a laptop, whatever it is
4:31
Speaker 1: that you're doing, and if you're going for a walk
4:32
Speaker 1: listening to this, then be sure to revisit this episode
4:35
Speaker 1: so you can sit down and write down dot points
4:37
Speaker 1: that are going to help you kind of remember this
4:41
Speaker 1: kind of stuff. Okay, this is the reset that you
4:44
Speaker 1: actually need for the year. So I guess what I'm
4:47
Speaker 1: talking about here is that it is possible to be
4:49
Speaker 1: really self aware, really smart, really driven, and still feel stuck.
4:53
Speaker 1: We are talking about this feeling of being stuck. How
4:57
Speaker 1: do you unstick yourself? Because I feel like a lot
5:00
Speaker 1: of the time we'll have all these really big goals,
5:02
Speaker 1: these big aspirations, these big dreams for ourself, but it
5:06
Speaker 1: really kind of it's really conflicting with who we are
5:08
Speaker 1: right now. Like we want to go and do that thing,
5:10
Speaker 1: we want to be driven, we want to have that time,
5:12
Speaker 1: we want to feel like we're creative enough, not burnt out,
5:15
Speaker 1: not exhausted, but who we are right now, it's kind
5:18
Speaker 1: of a struggle to make that happen. We're just like,
5:21
Speaker 1: there's too much on our plate. I never have free time.
5:23
Speaker 1: I never feel like I know that where I am
5:25
Speaker 1: right now is not exactly where I want to be,
5:27
Speaker 1: but getting there, I just feel really really stuck, and
5:30
Speaker 1: I'm not quite sure how that's going to come to pass. Okay,
5:32
Speaker 1: so that is what we're talking about.
5:35
Speaker 2: So let's let's kind of dive straight in.
5:38
Speaker 1: I guess the first thing that I want you to
5:40
Speaker 1: think about is what does feeling stuck mean to you?
5:43
Speaker 1: For me, I look at feeling stuck as it's kind
5:47
Speaker 1: of doing the exact same thing again and again and again,
5:50
Speaker 1: feeling a little bit disillusioned with where you're at, but
5:53
Speaker 1: knowing that you want more, knowing that you want change,
5:55
Speaker 1: knowing that you want something different for your life, and
5:57
Speaker 1: not really exactly knowing how to get there. Like you
5:59
Speaker 1: might be like, like, yep, I know that I want.
6:01
Speaker 2: To physically be able to do this by June.
6:04
Speaker 1: I want to be able to have more free time,
6:07
Speaker 1: be more social, put a bit more effort into, you know,
6:10
Speaker 1: my style and my appearance and whatever. But then weeks
6:13
Speaker 1: go past, they go past, they go past, and before
6:14
Speaker 1: you know it, you're kind of setting the same goals
6:16
Speaker 1: this time around next year. How do we change that?
6:19
Speaker 1: How do we unstick ourselves. The other thing that you
6:21
Speaker 1: can feel stuck in is if there's a lot of
6:23
Speaker 1: problems in your life, like you're always putting out fires,
6:26
Speaker 1: you're someone that you can just never seem to get ahead.
6:30
Speaker 1: You always feel like you're playing catch up. You're never
6:32
Speaker 1: completely finishing tasks before other tasks are thrown onto your plate.
6:36
Speaker 1: You feel like it's just this constant chasing off your tail.
6:39
Speaker 1: That's another way of feeling stuck. And then because of
6:41
Speaker 1: that we feel burnt out, We feel kind of a
6:44
Speaker 1: heavy weight on us emotionally, and then when it comes
6:47
Speaker 1: to actually doing these goals, you're exhausted.
6:49
Speaker 2: You're like, I don't have anything to give anymore.
6:51
Speaker 1: So it's all good for me to sit down and daydream,
6:54
Speaker 1: but when it comes to actioning it, I have nothing
6:56
Speaker 1: left to give and I'm unable to do anything.
6:59
Speaker 2: So today episode we're going to.
7:01
Speaker 1: Talk about getting into a mindset where you can begin
7:04
Speaker 1: to unstick yourself before we go into what you can
7:07
Speaker 1: actually do to start creating change in your life. So
7:09
Speaker 1: this episode is crucial to kind of clear the slate
7:13
Speaker 1: for all the other nine episodes moving forward to really
7:15
Speaker 1: make sense and for you to be able to really
7:17
Speaker 1: do something with those other tips that I'm going to
7:20
Speaker 1: give you over the next nine days. Okay, So think
7:23
Speaker 1: about you currently. It's kind of like a stagnation.
7:26
Speaker 2: Okay.
7:26
Speaker 1: They're not moving in the direction that you planned. And
7:30
Speaker 1: it can represent something or it can kind of represent
7:32
Speaker 1: nothing at all. It could be you're working on something
7:34
Speaker 1: and not seeing any change at all, or that you're
7:36
Speaker 1: really struggling to even start working on something, okay, and
7:39
Speaker 1: it's this.
7:40
Speaker 2: Kind of negative loop. It's kind of a.
7:42
Speaker 1: Spiral like lung not you spiraling already at the start.
7:45
Speaker 2: Of the year.
7:45
Speaker 1: It's only January, but it's kind of like you are
7:48
Speaker 1: scrambling to try and already solve problems in your life
7:51
Speaker 1: at the start of the year, when it's supposed to
7:52
Speaker 1: be this.
7:52
Speaker 2: Exciting time and you already don't know what you're doing. Okay,
7:55
Speaker 2: So hands up. If this feels familiar to you, we've
7:59
Speaker 2: all been there.
8:00
Speaker 1: So one of the main reasons why this feeling occurs
8:03
Speaker 1: is feeling of being stuck and not.
8:05
Speaker 2: Really knowing where to go and knowing where to move.
8:08
Speaker 2: It comes from.
8:10
Speaker 1: A lack of real peace of mind and clarity. Okay,
8:14
Speaker 1: And I'm going to explain that in a little bit
8:16
Speaker 1: more detail. When we are feeling overwhelmed, burnt out all
8:19
Speaker 1: of that, the way your brain operates it's going to
8:21
Speaker 1: be different to when you are feeling really calm, relaxed, balanced.
8:26
Speaker 2: In your life, okay.
8:27
Speaker 1: And the reason for that is different brain regions are
8:29
Speaker 1: kind of taking over when you are highly stressed and
8:33
Speaker 1: in kind of problem like this is, I've got to
8:35
Speaker 1: fix all these problems. I'm overwhelmed, I'm tired, Versus when
8:39
Speaker 1: you're calm, relaxed and everything is kind of you're striking
8:41
Speaker 1: a bit of a balance.
8:41
Speaker 2: In your life. Okay. That is and I've spoken about
8:43
Speaker 2: it before.
8:44
Speaker 1: I've got like a whole episode on stress and the
8:45
Speaker 1: effects on the brain, and go check out that entire
8:47
Speaker 1: episode if you're interested in the real neuroscience mechanisms and
8:51
Speaker 1: pathways and all of that. But in a nutshell, what's
8:53
Speaker 1: happening is that when you are more stressed, when you're
8:55
Speaker 1: in reactive mode, not proactive mode, you've got more your
8:58
Speaker 1: stress parts of the brain, which are kind of dominant.
9:02
Speaker 1: That's the amigdala, the limbic system. This is kind of
9:06
Speaker 1: the reactive state, fear flight fright. So you're just kind
9:10
Speaker 1: of doing like the bare minimum to get by as
9:12
Speaker 1: far as action, but there's a lot going on in
9:14
Speaker 1: your head. Okay, so when you're trying to problem solve
9:17
Speaker 1: from this place, you're going to find.
9:20
Speaker 2: It really difficult.
9:21
Speaker 1: Not only really difficult, but really frustrating because you keep
9:23
Speaker 1: hitting a wall. It's like when you're really really really
9:26
Speaker 1: really really stressed and someone's like, go and finish this essay,
9:30
Speaker 1: or go and like finish that that creative task, or
9:33
Speaker 1: try and write an email and really explain yourself properly.
9:36
Speaker 1: Anything creative feels insurmountable, right, And the reason for that
9:39
Speaker 1: is because you're using a different part of the brain
9:41
Speaker 1: you're using a part of the brain that is more
9:43
Speaker 1: about reaction, fear, pulling the brakes, hesitation protection, safe, Okay,
9:49
Speaker 1: I need to be safe, versus when you're a lot calmer,
9:53
Speaker 1: when you're more relaxed, when you're loose, as in loose
9:56
Speaker 1: in the mind, you know, fucking letting your mind go loose.
9:59
Speaker 1: You use seeing more of the prefrontal cortex, which is
10:02
Speaker 1: where you're able to be a bit more creative. Of course,
10:04
Speaker 1: creativity uses many, many, many regions of the brain, but
10:07
Speaker 1: when you've got this part of the brain more active,
10:09
Speaker 1: it's kind of overriding the fear centers.
10:12
Speaker 2: You're able to be more relaxed.
10:13
Speaker 1: This is part of the brain region that really connects
10:15
Speaker 1: with the mid brain. You're basil gangly when you're doing
10:18
Speaker 1: things like breath work and meditation, so it starts to
10:20
Speaker 1: get your brain regions communicating a lot better. You can
10:22
Speaker 1: talk yourself down off the ledge, you feel a whole
10:25
Speaker 1: lot calmer, and that is when things open up and
10:27
Speaker 1: you get into that flow state. You get to be
10:29
Speaker 1: a lot more creative, and that's when you can really
10:32
Speaker 1: problem solve. Okay, So what I'm talking about here is
10:36
Speaker 1: the state that you are in is going to determine
10:38
Speaker 1: your ability to be to be unstuck, to unstick yourself.
10:42
Speaker 2: From this sticky situation that you're in.
10:44
Speaker 1: Okay, if you are in a really stressed brain state,
10:47
Speaker 1: you're going to feel this way ongoing for weeks, months, years, possibly,
10:51
Speaker 1: And don't underestimate.
10:52
Speaker 2: How long you can do this for because it could
10:55
Speaker 2: be years.
10:55
Speaker 1: There are people that are in this mode, this kind
10:58
Speaker 1: of autopilot's stressed mode, for ever. Okay, and you can
11:01
Speaker 1: do it, but it's not saying that you should. We
11:03
Speaker 1: want to really snap out of that and really maximize
11:06
Speaker 1: our creativity and our basically our brain power and our
11:10
Speaker 1: ability to problem solve and you know, maximize our brain
11:13
Speaker 1: and ourselves and our lives. So sometimes finding the solution
11:16
Speaker 1: isn't actually solving the problem, if that makes sense, which
11:20
Speaker 1: probably doesn't. But what I mean is we think, once
11:22
Speaker 1: I fix this problem, that will be my solution. But
11:25
Speaker 1: really you've got to think, once I get into a
11:27
Speaker 1: better state, I'm going to be in a position where
11:30
Speaker 1: I not only can find the solution to this problem,
11:32
Speaker 1: but many many other problems. I'm going to be a
11:33
Speaker 1: lot more creative in the way I do it. I'm
11:35
Speaker 1: going to be a lot calmer. I'm probably going to
11:37
Speaker 1: think of things to fix them much better than I
11:39
Speaker 1: would have thought of if I was stressed, and I'm
11:41
Speaker 1: probably going to be way more creative with how I
11:43
Speaker 1: approach all other things. I'm probably going to think of
11:46
Speaker 1: ideas that I'd never thought of, and before I know what,
11:49
Speaker 1: I'm able to do way more than I was able
11:51
Speaker 1: to prior because I'm in a completely different state. So
11:54
Speaker 1: instead of thinking I need to solve this problem now,
11:58
Speaker 1: you're going to think, right now, I'm going to change
12:00
Speaker 1: my state. You start with your physical and emotional state.
12:03
Speaker 1: Everything follows after that. It's not the other way around.
12:06
Speaker 1: Not I have to solve this problem, and then my
12:07
Speaker 1: state will change. I will change my state, and then
12:10
Speaker 1: my mind will find the best way possible to solve
12:13
Speaker 1: this problem or to complete this task, or to whatever
12:16
Speaker 1: it is that you need to do. You fill in
12:17
Speaker 1: the blank. Okay, so let's talk about ways that you
12:21
Speaker 1: can change your state, because you're not gonna be able
12:23
Speaker 1: to problem solve effectively from a position of stress. Okay, However,
12:27
Speaker 1: by being calm, by thinking of less is more, you're
12:30
Speaker 1: going to gain a lot of clarity. Another thing that
12:33
Speaker 1: I'm going to say before I get into ways that
12:35
Speaker 1: you can change your state, is the idea that when
12:37
Speaker 1: we're really overwhelmed, like say you've started the year, you've
12:40
Speaker 1: started back at your job, you're feeling, you know, really pumped.
12:43
Speaker 1: But then you've got a lot on your plate. You
12:44
Speaker 1: get home, you're stressed. You sit down, You're like, I'm
12:47
Speaker 1: just going to scroll for a bit. I need to
12:48
Speaker 1: wind down. My mind is way too busy. I'm going
12:50
Speaker 1: to scroll. So you sit down, you start scrolling, scrolling, scrolling,
12:52
Speaker 1: you're doom scrolling or are you're watching TV? And then
12:54
Speaker 1: you get up to do that task and you're like,
12:56
Speaker 1: I am so exhausted, I can't I'll just do it tomorrow.
12:59
Speaker 1: I'm really But what you don't realize is that you're
13:02
Speaker 1: right now too stressed to address your problems. So what
13:05
Speaker 1: you do is you pacify. You pacify with social media,
13:08
Speaker 1: you pacify with watching with like a binge watching a
13:10
Speaker 1: series on Netflix. You always pacify, passive, passify, pacify, and
13:13
Speaker 1: then when it comes to actually doing a task like
13:15
Speaker 1: getting up to make dinner, getting up to you know,
13:17
Speaker 1: get ready for the tomorrow or the gym or whatever,
13:20
Speaker 1: it just feels even more exhausting. The trick that we
13:23
Speaker 1: tell ourselves with the lie that we tell ourselves is
13:25
Speaker 1: that getting home, sitting down and doom scrolling is going
13:27
Speaker 1: to be a really good way to wind down. But
13:29
Speaker 1: what you're doing is you're continuously draining yourself emotionally. You
13:32
Speaker 1: are actually adding more stress. You are doing that dopamine
13:36
Speaker 1: spike and dip spike and dip spike and dips. You
13:38
Speaker 1: actually have depleted yourself even more when you've done that,
13:41
Speaker 1: and you thought you were doing yourself a favor by
13:43
Speaker 1: having like, you know, thirty minutes of downtime, but you've
13:46
Speaker 1: actually depleted yourself even further. So let's talk about ways
13:49
Speaker 1: that you're actually going to change your state when you
13:51
Speaker 1: get home. And I'm not saying never be on social media,
13:53
Speaker 1: but be smart when you be on social media. If
13:55
Speaker 1: you want to do a task that's important to you,
13:57
Speaker 1: do not use social media prior to doing that. You
14:00
Speaker 1: social media after doing the task, before you start cooking dinner,
14:03
Speaker 1: or you know, after doing the first two hours of
14:05
Speaker 1: creative work in the morning or things like that. Pockets
14:07
Speaker 1: where it's not before a time where you really want
14:10
Speaker 1: to feel creative and open and getting to that flow state.
14:12
Speaker 1: That is the worst time you want to be using
14:14
Speaker 1: your phone. You do it after the fact, kind of
14:16
Speaker 1: like a little treat after you've completed you know the
14:19
Speaker 1: task at hand, the creative task. Right, So ask yourself
14:24
Speaker 1: what is your current state right now?
14:25
Speaker 2: Are you rested? Are you calm? Are you at peace?
14:28
Speaker 2: How is your posture? How does your body feel?
14:30
Speaker 1: And how do you feel when you wake up in
14:33
Speaker 1: the morning? Okay, and then compare that to what would
14:36
Speaker 1: be the ideal scenario. You know, what is my ideal posture?
14:39
Speaker 1: How I carry myself?
14:40
Speaker 2: What would it look like?
14:41
Speaker 1: How are my shoulders? How is my breath? How's my breathing?
14:44
Speaker 1: Do I breathe deep or do I breathe shallow? When
14:46
Speaker 1: I wake up in the morning, am I desperate to
14:47
Speaker 1: hit the snooze button? Or could I actually just comfortably
14:50
Speaker 1: get out of bed and start the day? How do
14:51
Speaker 1: I wind down at night? It's constantly until I just
14:55
Speaker 1: completely collapse, or do I give myself time to ease
14:58
Speaker 1: into a sleep and allow myself to come kind of
15:00
Speaker 1: ease into a nice natural sleep cycle? Like how many
15:04
Speaker 1: pockets of time throughout the day do I have where
15:06
Speaker 1: I've got peace and quiet, and.
15:08
Speaker 2: The answer is probably zero.
15:10
Speaker 1: Okay, because even when we're just like walking down to
15:13
Speaker 1: the letterbox, going down the elevator to get to our car.
15:15
Speaker 1: You know what, even these tiny, tiny pockets of the day,
15:17
Speaker 1: we've got our phone, we're listening to music, we're watching something,
15:20
Speaker 1: we're talking to someone, we're texting someone. And then you
15:24
Speaker 1: never ever ever get a pocket of peace unless you're
15:27
Speaker 1: in the shower. That's kind of like probably one of
15:30
Speaker 1: the few times that a lot of people get a
15:31
Speaker 1: pocket of just peace. And even then you should be
15:34
Speaker 1: washing your body and you're hearing the water. But that's
15:36
Speaker 1: when most people get their ideas because it's the one
15:38
Speaker 1: time that they're not distracted with something else. Right, So
15:42
Speaker 1: your job for today is to learn or what not
15:45
Speaker 1: just today, but today moving forward, learn how to change
15:48
Speaker 1: your state, okay, And I can guarantee you when you've
15:50
Speaker 1: changed your state, you're going to be able to problem
15:52
Speaker 1: solve in a way that you never have before. Okay,
15:54
Speaker 1: because you were using different areas. If your brain, different
15:57
Speaker 1: areas if your brain are going to wake up and
15:58
Speaker 1: take over, and you might think, oh, well, I've never
16:00
Speaker 1: experienced that before, so it's not possible I'm telling you
16:03
Speaker 1: right now, you do it consistently enough, and before you
16:05
Speaker 1: know it, it's like a complete like a sheet dropping,
16:07
Speaker 1: the veil will drop, and it's this whole awakening to
16:10
Speaker 1: a whole new possibility in your brain. Okay, So what
16:13
Speaker 1: we're going to be doing is things like intentional size.
16:16
Speaker 1: I've got a whole brain fact on the intentional side.
16:18
Speaker 1: But in a nutshell, it's where you really intentionally take
16:21
Speaker 1: a really big deep breath and then big exhale and
16:25
Speaker 1: physically move with that exhale. Okay, do that a couple
16:29
Speaker 1: of times, three breaths, six breaths for some people, And
16:32
Speaker 1: it's kind of it actually changes your state. Okay, you
16:36
Speaker 1: change your physical state, You even change your brain waves.
16:39
Speaker 1: You are telling your body that you are going from
16:42
Speaker 1: fight or flight into a calm, relaxed, safe state. Okay,
16:47
Speaker 1: because when you are stressed, it's kind of like you're
16:50
Speaker 1: trying to trick your brain with your physicality. Okay, literally,
16:53
Speaker 1: you are tricking your brain in a good way.
16:55
Speaker 2: When you are stressed. Shallow breathing, you're tense. Okay, you're ready.
16:58
Speaker 2: You're ready. You're ready to fight, to attack, to run,
17:00
Speaker 2: to flee, to whatever it is that you need to do. Okay,
17:02
Speaker 2: that's when you're stressed. You are like, you've got to
17:05
Speaker 2: be primed.
17:06
Speaker 1: If you then start doing big, deep, intentional breadths, you're
17:11
Speaker 1: now telling your brain. Your brain's thinking, well, wait, if
17:13
Speaker 1: my body is doing this and my chest is open
17:16
Speaker 1: and my shoulders are back and I'm doing a really
17:17
Speaker 1: big deep breath, it must mean that there is no threat.
17:21
Speaker 1: So I've got to shut down those areas that are
17:23
Speaker 1: so active right now, stressed and on edge, because obviously
17:26
Speaker 1: my body is saying that are very relaxed. So then
17:29
Speaker 1: you've got the other areas that start taking over. This
17:31
Speaker 1: is kind of the battle between the sympathetic and the
17:33
Speaker 1: parasympathetic nervous systems, you know. So you're trying to change that,
17:36
Speaker 1: and you're trying to get into that nice, calm, relaxed,
17:39
Speaker 1: open state, and you do that by tricking your brain
17:41
Speaker 1: that you are calm, and you do that through an
17:43
Speaker 1: intentional side. That is the quickest and easiest way to
17:45
Speaker 1: change your state. Number One, if you ever enned doubt,
17:48
Speaker 1: do the intentional side three to six deep breaths.
17:51
Speaker 2: Trust me, and don't don't do it.
17:53
Speaker 1: When you're looking at your phone Okay, don't do that
17:55
Speaker 1: shit I'm talking about properly. You can close your eyes whatever,
17:58
Speaker 1: but be relaxed. The next thing is low stimulation zones
18:02
Speaker 1: in the day. That is, go outside.
18:06
Speaker 2: For a walk. If you live near like a you.
18:08
Speaker 1: Know, maybe it's like the comedian at store or somewheer
18:11
Speaker 1: where you can buy a coffee somewhere where you can
18:13
Speaker 1: go somewhere and back. That's close enough with no stimulation,
18:18
Speaker 1: no music, not even me on the podcast. Love you
18:20
Speaker 1: so much and I love that you listen to me,
18:21
Speaker 1: but just try it. Just like nothing at all, no stimulation, nothing,
18:25
Speaker 1: just walk somewhere five to ten minutes and back. Okay,
18:29
Speaker 1: you are allowing yourself to just be with no stimulation.
18:31
Speaker 1: You need that time to wind down. I don't think
18:33
Speaker 1: we realize how little chance we give our brains to
18:36
Speaker 1: just chill okay and just rest. So low stimulation zones
18:41
Speaker 1: throughout the day things like forest bathing. And forest bathing
18:45
Speaker 1: is basically where you lie in a forest and you're
18:47
Speaker 1: just looking up. But you can do versions of that
18:49
Speaker 1: where you can just be lying in your home with
18:51
Speaker 1: the window open and you can hear, you know, the birds,
18:53
Speaker 1: and you're just noting things, So it's kind of like
18:55
Speaker 1: a meditation, but you don't have to be thinking, I'm
18:57
Speaker 1: not having any thoughts in my mind or I'm just
18:59
Speaker 1: trying to focus on one. You can still leave your
19:01
Speaker 1: mind open to think, but it's kind of this relaxing
19:03
Speaker 1: state where you're trying to pay attention to nature. Ideally
19:06
Speaker 1: doing it outdoors, but you can do it with a
19:08
Speaker 1: window or a door open as well.
19:09
Speaker 2: Then of course meditation.
19:10
Speaker 1: And if you don't meditate guided meditation even five minutes,
19:13
Speaker 1: I've got my app Hotel Mindset. But then if you
19:16
Speaker 1: don't want to do the app, you can get free
19:18
Speaker 1: meditations on YouTube as well. Free easy. You just type
19:21
Speaker 1: in the timeframe minutes, ten minutes or whatever and you
19:23
Speaker 1: do something like that. Okay, really think about slowing down
19:29
Speaker 1: at night. What is your nighttime routine and you need
19:32
Speaker 1: to change it to make sure it's nice and slow
19:34
Speaker 1: and really kind of welcoming to you, changing your state
19:37
Speaker 1: overall so you wake up in a calmer state.
19:39
Speaker 2: As well, and then what else do I have? What
19:43
Speaker 2: else do I have? Oh?
19:45
Speaker 1: And then having like phone free moments throughout the whole
19:47
Speaker 1: day while doing an activity. So for me, a really
19:49
Speaker 1: good one is cooking. I never thought I'd like cooking,
19:52
Speaker 1: but then I realized that, especially on my stress days,
19:55
Speaker 1: the thing that I craved the most is like cooking
19:57
Speaker 1: something or baking something. And if I am really really
19:59
Speaker 1: st that to me is a sure way to wind down.
20:02
Speaker 1: I'll put like a rom com on just kind of
20:04
Speaker 1: in the background, but I'm doing the task of cooking,
20:07
Speaker 1: and I find that that instead of being like really
20:10
Speaker 1: really stimulated all the time with my phone, I actually
20:12
Speaker 1: wind down a whole lot bet at physically doing a task.
20:15
Speaker 1: So these are just examples of how you can kind
20:18
Speaker 1: of implement this, you know, change of your state. And
20:23
Speaker 1: then one more thing that I would really really like
20:26
Speaker 1: you to do if you're someone that really struggles with
20:27
Speaker 1: your phone is implement the pause as well. So the
20:30
Speaker 1: pause is something really really simple that when you go
20:33
Speaker 1: to grab your phone, just say, I'm just going to
20:35
Speaker 1: count to ten ten seconds. Okay, I mean you count
20:37
Speaker 1: to ten seconds, you decide do I still need to
20:39
Speaker 1: check my phone or not. And the aim of the
20:41
Speaker 1: pause is not to be like, I'm not doing my phone.
20:43
Speaker 1: If you've still compelled to check your fine after the
20:45
Speaker 1: ten seconds, go ahead and do it.
20:46
Speaker 2: That's fine.
20:47
Speaker 1: But you'll find a lot of the time you're like, actually,
20:50
Speaker 1: i'd literally just check my phone five minutes ago.
20:52
Speaker 2: I don't need to check it right now.
20:53
Speaker 1: That pause gives you a moment to be like, how
20:55
Speaker 1: important is this really? But you might be like, no,
20:58
Speaker 1: I literally did all the tasks that I needed to morning,
21:00
Speaker 1: and I really want to check my phone.
21:01
Speaker 2: And then in that case, go ahead and check it.
21:03
Speaker 1: But that pause is so good to start kind of
21:06
Speaker 1: breaking that addictive cycle to your phone every time you're
21:09
Speaker 1: needing to wind down. You'll notice that the more you
21:11
Speaker 1: do that pause before you grab your phone, you're going
21:13
Speaker 1: to feel way more in control of when it is
21:16
Speaker 1: that you use your phone. It doesn't feel like your
21:17
Speaker 1: arm's a robot and it's forcing you like you have
21:20
Speaker 1: no saying. Before you know what, You've opened the app
21:22
Speaker 1: and you're ten minutes deep into scrolling, and you're going
21:25
Speaker 1: to realize that it's going to allow for way more
21:27
Speaker 1: pockets of not using your phone just by default, you're
21:30
Speaker 1: going to start reaching for your phone less and less,
21:32
Speaker 1: kind of in that autopilot reach. Okay, yeah, and then lastly,
21:38
Speaker 1: allow for small pockets of boredom throughout the day.
21:40
Speaker 2: Okay, this is what I was talking about. When people
21:42
Speaker 2: come up.
21:42
Speaker 1: With really creative ideas in the shower, it's because you're
21:45
Speaker 1: kind of not You're just doing something a bit on autopilot,
21:48
Speaker 1: and that's when you allow that creativity to run. The
21:50
Speaker 1: most creative times are when you are bored. If you
21:53
Speaker 1: never let yourself get bored, you will never really understand
21:57
Speaker 1: or really fathom how creative you can be. You have
22:03
Speaker 1: no idea how creative you are until you really start
22:06
Speaker 1: to lean into being bored, where your mind has to
22:08
Speaker 1: make up things to entertain yourself. That's where we start
22:10
Speaker 1: coming up with stories that we could write, or podcast ideas,
22:13
Speaker 1: or businesses that we could create, or things that we
22:15
Speaker 1: want to draw, a new hobby that we want to have,
22:17
Speaker 1: or whatever the fuck it is that occurs when you
22:20
Speaker 1: are bored, trust me. So you need pockets of board
22:22
Speaker 1: and you start with just you know, and this can
22:24
Speaker 1: be done when you're doing that walk right, But it's
22:26
Speaker 1: just where you're thinking, I'm not going to try and
22:28
Speaker 1: preoccupy myself in this gap that I have.
22:30
Speaker 2: Okay, so that is your homework for today.
22:33
Speaker 1: Please implement one, two, three, or all of the things
22:36
Speaker 1: that I said I'm telling you right now, do it.
22:38
Speaker 1: And it's not just one day this. The more you
22:40
Speaker 1: do it, the better it gets. The more you implement
22:42
Speaker 1: these things that I said, the better your creativity, the
22:45
Speaker 1: calmer you're going to feel.
22:46
Speaker 2: And when you start feeling a lot calmer, your energy.
22:49
Speaker 1: Goes up, your focus goes up, your ability to stay
22:51
Speaker 1: on task goes up. So just by changing your state,
22:55
Speaker 1: you be able to finish your tasks faster, You'll be
22:57
Speaker 1: able to stay on task faster, You'll be better rested
22:59
Speaker 1: at night, you wake up more with a fucking spring
23:02
Speaker 1: and your fucking step, and you'll be like, right, I'm
23:04
Speaker 1: ready to tackle the day ahead. And then all these
23:06
Speaker 1: small fires start working themselves out. Well it's not, it's
23:09
Speaker 1: you are actually working them out, but you start finding
23:12
Speaker 1: the best solution of how to fix this, how to
23:14
Speaker 1: get this done in the most efficient way possible. And
23:16
Speaker 1: then not only that, you're in a really good state,
23:18
Speaker 1: You're feeling good that the ball is now rolling, You've
23:20
Speaker 1: got momentum, and then you start getting time, energy and
23:23
Speaker 1: creativity for the things that you really want to be
23:25
Speaker 1: actioning this year for yourself. Whatever that may be, Okay,
23:29
Speaker 1: it could be just purely. I want to focus on
23:30
Speaker 1: my social life and my relationships. It could be I
23:32
Speaker 1: want to be really present and happy. I don't care
23:34
Speaker 1: about all the other external shits. My goal for this
23:36
Speaker 1: years to be present and happy. This or I want
23:38
Speaker 1: to like succeed in my career. I want to have
23:40
Speaker 1: like a best selling book. Whatever it is, this will
23:42
Speaker 1: help you.
23:43
Speaker 2: So trust me.
23:44
Speaker 1: Day one, you need to implement this for everything for
23:47
Speaker 1: you to be able to maximize and ring out what
23:50
Speaker 1: you can like deucee from every other episode in.
23:53
Speaker 2: This mini series. So good times.
23:56
Speaker 1: That is all for today's episode. I'm excited to see
23:59
Speaker 1: you back here day two for the episode you don't
24:02
Speaker 1: need a new life, you just need new standards.
24:04
Speaker 2: Well, we're gonna be talking.
24:05
Speaker 1: About how you can actually set standards for how other
24:07
Speaker 1: people treat you and for yourself and what a healthy
24:09
Speaker 1: standard is versus perfectionism.
24:12
Speaker 2: We're gonna be talking about all of that.
24:13
Speaker 1: So I will see you here tomorrow morning to talk
24:17
Speaker 1: about standards as always. Remember, Oh before that, if you
24:20
Speaker 1: haven't already bought a ticket to my Sydney Live show,
24:22
Speaker 1: it's just in a couple of weeks. I think it's
24:24
Speaker 1: like three or four weeks away, so you can purchase
24:26
Speaker 1: the tickets on my website. I'm so excited for the
24:29
Speaker 1: Sydney Live Show. I haven't seen my Sydney Beans in
24:31
Speaker 1: nearly two years. Live show Wise also shout out to
24:33
Speaker 1: the Woollongong Beans. Can I just say I met so
24:36
Speaker 1: many of you, I feel like I need a Woollongong
24:38
Speaker 1: like mini.
24:39
Speaker 2: Live show or like a brunch or something in.
24:42
Speaker 1: Woollongong because you guys are die hard there and I'm
24:44
Speaker 1: obsessed with you all.
24:46
Speaker 2: I just love meeting you, talking to you, getting photos
24:48
Speaker 2: with you. It was just awesome. I met like so
24:50
Speaker 2: many of you there. It was awesome. Cool as always remembered.
24:54
Speaker 1: Bekind to yourself, be kind to your brands in twenty
24:56
Speaker 1: twenty six. Don't take shit from anyone, and especially don't
24:59
Speaker 1: take shit from yourself.
25:00
Speaker 2: Okay,