Latest / I Do, Part 2 / Halle Berry “Don’t Cook, Don’t Clean and Don’t Really Seem Motherly”: Why This Wasn’t The Worst Thing Her Ex Said About Divorcing Her

Transcript

Halle Berry “Don’t Cook, Don’t Clean and Don’t Really Seem Motherly”: Why This Wasn’t The Worst Thing Her Ex Said About Divorcing Her · I Do, Part 2

0:02
Speaker 1: Hey, there are folks. It is Sunday, August tenth, and
0:05
Speaker 1: the headlines flying on this day say that Halle Berry's
0:10
Speaker 1: X in a new interview says he left her because
0:15
Speaker 1: she didn't cook, clean and wasn't motherly. You could imagine
0:20
Speaker 1: how he is being ripped soundly online right now. But
0:24
Speaker 1: here's the thing, folks, that thing he said doesn't even
0:28
Speaker 1: scratch the surface of his comments. And welcome to this
0:32
Speaker 1: fired up edition of Baby and TJ. Rose. We did
0:34
Speaker 1: not plan on recording an episode today, but I will
0:38
Speaker 1: ask your response before we get context. If you just
0:42
Speaker 1: see the headline that her ex husband says that she
0:46
Speaker 1: didn't cook, she didn't clean, didn't think she was motherly,
0:50
Speaker 1: and that's why I left her, the reaction to just
0:53
Speaker 1: that headline without context would be.
0:55
Speaker 2: He's an asshole, gotcha? And he is a misogynist. And
1:00
Speaker 2: the expectations that we all have to fit into these
1:03
Speaker 2: cookie cook cutter rolls is offensive, especially given the fact
1:07
Speaker 2: that he chose to marry her. So it's one thing
1:10
Speaker 2: if you're considering that you know what you want going
1:13
Speaker 2: into a relationship, what you expect that of a wife,
1:16
Speaker 2: and I appreciate that everyone goes into a relationship with
1:19
Speaker 2: different expectations, but in the middle of a marriage to
1:22
Speaker 2: then make that, or perhaps thirty years after your marriage ended,
1:25
Speaker 2: to then make that declaration that three years into your
1:28
Speaker 2: marriage you were like, Damn, I don't know if I
1:31
Speaker 2: want this to be the mother of my children. It
1:33
Speaker 2: just seems offensive because she doesn't cook, she doesn't clean,
1:36
Speaker 2: and she doesn't seem mom material. Those should have been
1:40
Speaker 2: considerations before you entered into a marriage, I would think.
1:44
Speaker 2: And even if that's where your head was, do you
1:47
Speaker 2: need to say that out loud? Do you need to
1:49
Speaker 2: tell everybody that?
1:50
Speaker 1: So that's the reaction to just the headline. Now, obviously
1:53
Speaker 1: you have been able to do a deeper dive into
1:57
Speaker 1: fully what his answer was and we get a little
2:00
Speaker 1: more context. Do you think if most people got more context,
2:05
Speaker 1: which we're going to get into, would still have the
2:08
Speaker 1: same reaction to the headline?
2:10
Speaker 2: No, it would be softened. Soften because he is talking
2:14
Speaker 2: about where his head was thirty years ago, and even
2:18
Speaker 2: acknowledges that his upbringing was very specific. I grew up
2:23
Speaker 2: part of my childho in the Midwest as well. I
2:25
Speaker 2: understand what he's saying that there were and we're similar ages,
2:29
Speaker 2: so I understand there was a different mindset back then.
2:31
Speaker 2: I just think it's kind of silly and puzzling that
2:36
Speaker 2: he wouldn't have acknowledged or at least considered that this
2:42
Speaker 2: would not be a good thing to say, Like, what's
2:44
Speaker 2: the point of saying this now? What's the point of
2:47
Speaker 2: phrasing it like that?
2:48
Speaker 1: Now?
2:49
Speaker 2: I would think he would know, as a fifty eight
2:51
Speaker 2: year old man that he was going to get some
2:53
Speaker 2: heat and some backlash for saying that.
2:54
Speaker 1: Okay, so that's the other head scratching part, And there's
2:57
Speaker 1: something here, I mean, just the basics of what we're talking.
3:00
Speaker 1: You know, I'm gonna give you credit here off the top,
3:02
Speaker 1: because the reason I wanted to hop on initially and
3:05
Speaker 1: talk about this is because I saw the headlines. And
3:08
Speaker 1: then I just I think only read one article that
3:11
Speaker 1: had a little fuller quote, and I'm like, oh, that
3:14
Speaker 1: deserves more context. And what he is saying I thought
3:18
Speaker 1: was that he actually was too immature and he had
3:21
Speaker 1: a warped opinion about what a woman or a wife
3:24
Speaker 1: should be, and I wanted to have that relationship discussion.
3:28
Speaker 1: And then it turned into something else once I actually
3:32
Speaker 1: heard his full and it was almost a ten minute
3:35
Speaker 1: answer about halle Berry. But Robes, you are the one
3:40
Speaker 1: who then put it in a better context to what
3:43
Speaker 1: I thought. Wow, now we have to do an episode
3:46
Speaker 1: about it. Because all the headlines are talking about halle Berry,
3:49
Speaker 1: the Oscar winner. All the headlines are talking about David Justice,
3:53
Speaker 1: the pro ballplayer, her ex husband. The most important person.
3:58
Speaker 2: In this story is his current wife.
4:01
Speaker 1: Missus David Justice his wife of how many years?
4:06
Speaker 2: He married her in two thousand and one, so twenty
4:09
Speaker 2: four years.
4:10
Speaker 1: Smart you said this to me, and it was almost
4:12
Speaker 1: like I just hit my forehead, like holy hell. In
4:17
Speaker 1: this whole conversation, how awful must it be to have
4:23
Speaker 1: your husband of twenty four years? And we'll get into
4:26
Speaker 1: his exact quote, but he said we could have worked
4:30
Speaker 1: out had we gone to therapy. He said things said
4:36
Speaker 1: that no current wife wants to hear her husband say
4:40
Speaker 1: about an ex period.
4:41
Speaker 2: And I don't even think you have to know what
4:43
Speaker 2: it's like to be married or divorced, or if you
4:47
Speaker 2: just have an ex and you or your partner has
4:50
Speaker 2: an ex, you probably don't want your partner to talk
4:54
Speaker 2: about his or her ex. Ever, but certainly not publicly,
4:59
Speaker 2: and certainly not if she's considered probably one of the
5:01
Speaker 2: most beautiful women in the world. And then for you
5:05
Speaker 2: to say, you know what, if we had just known
5:07
Speaker 2: about therapy, if I had just gone to therapy, we
5:09
Speaker 2: probably could have worked things out. All I could think
5:12
Speaker 2: about was his wife of twenty four years and how
5:15
Speaker 2: awful that must have felt. And even if she knows
5:17
Speaker 2: him and she loves him and she gets the contact
5:20
Speaker 2: and the perspective, you can't tell me that doesn't sting.
5:24
Speaker 2: That hurts to hear, and it's unnecessary to say out loud,
5:28
Speaker 2: and it's wildly unnecessary to say with a microphone.
5:33
Speaker 1: And it's everywhere right now. It is. It's everywhere. Everybody's
5:36
Speaker 1: talking about it. And that headline, in particular is everywhere.
5:40
Speaker 1: The headlines ranged from they do. They range from she
5:43
Speaker 1: wasn't motherly, she didn't cook, she didn't clean. They also
5:48
Speaker 1: talk about him being a breadwinner. They also talk all
5:51
Speaker 1: these headlines. There is nothing a current wife wants to
5:55
Speaker 1: see about the past relationship. But you I didn't even
5:59
Speaker 1: look at any of them, But could just give me
6:00
Speaker 1: an idea again of what the blowback is right now
6:04
Speaker 1: against the David Justice, even amongst people on his.
6:06
Speaker 2: Own the blowback. The blowback against David Justice has been
6:12
Speaker 2: swift and fierce. Those are the two ways I can
6:14
Speaker 2: put it, and mostly coming from women who are just saying,
6:18
Speaker 2: I'll paraphrase basically, how dare you say that your expectations
6:24
Speaker 2: were that a woman should cook and clean? Then they
6:26
Speaker 2: talk about Halle Berry. Oh, she was supposed to go
6:28
Speaker 2: and continue to make award winning movies, bust her ass
6:32
Speaker 2: around the world, bringing in a ton of money, and
6:35
Speaker 2: then come home and cook and clean for you? Are
6:38
Speaker 2: you kidding me? Or in her twenties she didn't appear motherly.
6:41
Speaker 2: I can tell you right now I didn't either, and
6:43
Speaker 2: I think I'm a pretty damn good mom. But in
6:45
Speaker 2: my twenties, when I was working my ass off, I
6:47
Speaker 2: don't think people, anyone who knew me, would have said, Wow,
6:51
Speaker 2: she's the mom in the making. Like you know, I
6:53
Speaker 2: just think that's so unfair. We're supposed to wear all
6:55
Speaker 2: these hats and here's this beautiful, successful, talented way and
7:00
Speaker 2: he is talking about she wasn't good enough for him
7:03
Speaker 2: because she didn't cook, clean and appeared to be motherly.
7:07
Speaker 2: That is wildly offensive and so yes, as you can imagine,
7:10
Speaker 2: every woman who felt the need has pounced on him.
7:13
Speaker 2: They've even gone onto his Instagram page where he was
7:15
Speaker 2: actually trying to Here's the funny thing. His latest post
7:18
Speaker 2: on Instagram is about Epstein. Okay, it's about like, you know,
7:22
Speaker 2: the Democrats and the Republicancies. It's hilarious. It's almost like
7:25
Speaker 2: a reverse wag the dog of what Trump's doing. He
7:27
Speaker 2: wants people to talk about Epstein on his on his
7:29
Speaker 2: Instagram page because he doesn't want people talking about his
7:32
Speaker 2: personal stupid comments he made about Halle Berry. So anyway,
7:35
Speaker 2: on that latest post, everyone's jumping on and just talking
7:42
Speaker 2: about him and throw and shaded him and saying and
7:45
Speaker 2: people did mention his wife too and said how does
7:48
Speaker 2: she feel? How does she feel you talking about your
7:51
Speaker 2: someone you divorced thirty years ago?
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Speaker 1: That is that's worth noting. They divorced literally.
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Speaker 2: Thirty thirty years ago, and this is coming up today
8:01
Speaker 2: why we don't know.
8:02
Speaker 1: But that again, I wanted you to give you credit
8:04
Speaker 1: for bringing up the most relevant or the person at
8:08
Speaker 1: least our hearts should go out to most in this
8:10
Speaker 1: story is his wife, his current wife. But if you
8:13
Speaker 1: don't know, folks, if you kept up, David Justice was
8:16
Speaker 1: a superstar in Major League Baseball, won a couple of
8:18
Speaker 1: World Series with Atlanta Braves. He was a stud, but yes,
8:23
Speaker 1: he was married to halle Berry in the early nineties.
8:25
Speaker 1: But the past few days he went on a podcast.
8:29
Speaker 1: This podcast went an hour and fifty minutes. A lot
8:33
Speaker 1: was covered only about ten minutes on halle Berry. But
8:36
Speaker 1: that's the thing that's making all the headlines because he said,
8:39
Speaker 1: like we said, he's the breadwinner. She didn't cook, she
8:41
Speaker 1: didn't clean, repeatedly reminded us that he left her and
8:45
Speaker 1: claimed she wasn't motherly again. This is her first husband.
8:49
Speaker 1: Met in ninety two, married in ninety three, divorced in
8:51
Speaker 1: ninety seven.
8:52
Speaker 2: He also said that he didn't even propose to her.
8:55
Speaker 2: I thought this was kind of again unnecessary and seemed egotistical,
9:00
Speaker 2: and it could all be true, but he kind of
9:02
Speaker 2: acted like he just wasn't that into her and she
9:04
Speaker 2: was really into him, and that he eventually just kind
9:07
Speaker 2: of said, eh, meh, not for me. That's just unnecessary.
9:11
Speaker 2: He said. She proposed to him after five months, and
9:14
Speaker 2: he claims he was so taken aback and shocked by it.
9:17
Speaker 2: He said yes because he felt like he couldn't say no.
9:20
Speaker 2: He actually intimated that he felt pressure to say yes
9:25
Speaker 2: because halle Berry was yes, probably considered at that point
9:28
Speaker 2: the most beautiful woman in the world. So who would
9:30
Speaker 2: say no to halle Berry if she asked you to
9:32
Speaker 2: marry her?
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Speaker 1: And then fives.
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Speaker 2: Five months he said they were dating and then they
9:38
Speaker 2: got married, and kind of just claimed he was overwhelmed
9:44
Speaker 2: and pressured into saying yes, it could be true. But
9:48
Speaker 2: why do you need to say that.
9:50
Speaker 1: There's the thing there, it's that's just hurt.
9:56
Speaker 2: Who wins. Who wins by saying who wins the right
10:00
Speaker 2: to say it?
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Speaker 1: It's hard to criticize somebody for just speaking if they
10:04
Speaker 1: want to get off his chest. I don't know, but man,
10:07
Speaker 1: that's tough. Even if it is true, it's so unnecessary
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Speaker 1: after thirty years, it.
10:13
Speaker 2: Felt like he'd been dying to say all of this
10:16
Speaker 2: stuff for thirty years, he did say in the podcast.
10:19
Speaker 2: At the time when their divorce was made public, he
10:23
Speaker 2: claims that was kind of the first time he really
10:25
Speaker 2: experienced bad press. They both experienced they press, and his
10:29
Speaker 2: mom told him, do not say a bad word about her,
10:33
Speaker 2: do not talk about her, do not say anything negative,
10:36
Speaker 2: And so he said he absolutely followed his mom's advice
10:39
Speaker 2: and did just that and stayed out of it despite
10:42
Speaker 2: anything that was being said, even these rumors and allegations
10:44
Speaker 2: that apparently he could have been one of the people,
10:49
Speaker 2: or at least the person that Hallie Barry had generically
10:52
Speaker 2: referenced as having physically abused her. He did deny it,
10:56
Speaker 2: and he has many, many times denied it, but he's
10:58
Speaker 2: always been upset that she never cleared his name. She
11:00
Speaker 2: never said for the record, it was never David Justice,
11:04
Speaker 2: so he, I think has some resentment from that.
11:06
Speaker 1: It felt like thirty years, okay, thirty years on a
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Speaker 1: random podcast. And again, folks, reminder, this is not an
11:12
Speaker 1: interview about Halle Berry. This is an hour and fifty
11:15
Speaker 1: minute podcast interview in which ten minutes tops were spent
11:18
Speaker 1: on her and in fact, Robes when they first were like,
11:21
Speaker 1: why is he talking about her? My first thought before
11:25
Speaker 1: I looked into this were well, I'm probably he just
11:27
Speaker 1: was asked and he answered a question. That's not exactly
11:30
Speaker 1: how it went down. He didn't have to bring her
11:32
Speaker 1: name up at all. He was not asked about her.
11:36
Speaker 1: He decided to go there, and in fact, we have
11:40
Speaker 1: the question verbatim Robes that doesn't look to me. They're
11:44
Speaker 1: not even guiding him towards all this, he said about
11:48
Speaker 1: Hali Berry.
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Speaker 2: Look, we know how it's done, either whether it's a
11:51
Speaker 2: podcast or it's a national news story. Reporters journalists know
11:55
Speaker 2: that there are certain people, certain parts of someone's past
12:00
Speaker 2: that will likely make headlines. And oftentimes reporters will fashion
12:04
Speaker 2: questions around certain subjects to see if they'll answer, if
12:08
Speaker 2: a celebrity will answer, and there will be an opportunity
12:11
Speaker 2: for a headline. This was not the case in this
12:14
Speaker 2: I don't even see halle Berry's name in this question.
12:17
Speaker 2: Should he read no, we should read the question. This
12:19
Speaker 2: is the question he.
12:20
Speaker 1: Was asked, and again I thought it was important to
12:22
Speaker 1: have it verbatim here to see some context of his
12:27
Speaker 1: answer and that he did not have to This is
12:30
Speaker 1: thirty years ago. I don't know if why her name
12:34
Speaker 1: came up the question verbatim, learning and transitioning. What was
12:38
Speaker 1: it like having personal stuff public, such as relationships and
12:42
Speaker 1: stuff like that? How hard was that then? Because again,
12:46
Speaker 1: if there's bullshit out there and you just kind of
12:49
Speaker 1: have to go with it because there's no real filter
12:51
Speaker 1: or excuse me, opportunity for you to speak your piece. Now.
12:56
Speaker 1: That is a question one of the hosts asked. And
12:58
Speaker 1: what he was saying there wasn't so media back then,
13:00
Speaker 1: so you couldn't just jump on and respond to it
13:04
Speaker 1: now he said, relationships and stuff like that. That was
13:09
Speaker 1: a softball. Go any direction you want with this, and
13:13
Speaker 1: this is what he decided to respond.
13:16
Speaker 2: So he said, so, I didn't really have any real
13:20
Speaker 2: personal stuff until you know, Halle and I got together.
13:23
Speaker 2: And of course that was a lot of focus because
13:26
Speaker 2: back in them times, I can't think other than Joe
13:28
Speaker 2: Demaggio and Marilyn Monroe. I can't think of anybody before
13:31
Speaker 2: that was us. I can't think of no one. And
13:35
Speaker 2: then Halle coming up young and being hot and trying
13:37
Speaker 2: to make her career and then you got me, you
13:39
Speaker 2: know it was It really wasn't a lot of negative
13:41
Speaker 2: attention until I decided to leave her.
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Speaker 1: Okay, so far, so good in the answer. I mean,
13:47
Speaker 1: he didn't have to remind fine, but if that's what happened.
13:51
Speaker 2: He could have just said when we divorced, but instead
13:53
Speaker 2: he okay, that's just the tip of the iceboat.
13:55
Speaker 1: But did you think that was a choice?
13:57
Speaker 2: One hundred percent? It was a choice he wanted everyone
13:59
Speaker 2: to know that he left her.
14:01
Speaker 1: But we if we know that now, why do we
14:03
Speaker 1: need a reminder of that thirty year his ego? You
14:06
Speaker 1: really a hundred percent okay, I'm trying.
14:10
Speaker 2: Why else would you need to say that what could
14:15
Speaker 2: be gained by saying gained?
14:17
Speaker 1: Then there's no answer to that.
14:18
Speaker 2: I think that it was ego and maybe even some resentment.
14:21
Speaker 2: I think some resentment for her not clearing his name,
14:24
Speaker 2: about the allegations of some man in her life having
14:28
Speaker 2: hit her again.
14:29
Speaker 1: Like Robe said, he was just getting started.
14:33
Speaker 2: In nineteen ninety six, I remember Hallie saying to me,
14:36
Speaker 2: you know, she asked me to marry her after knowing
14:40
Speaker 2: me for five months, and I said, okay, but I
14:43
Speaker 2: couldn't say no. I said, okay, but I don't know
14:46
Speaker 2: if my heart was really into it. But I didn't
14:49
Speaker 2: want to make her feel bad and say no, you know,
14:52
Speaker 2: or I was just in the moment. It caught me
14:54
Speaker 2: off guard, but I was like, cool, we're getting along,
14:58
Speaker 2: revibing again. We're only five months in. We're still in
15:01
Speaker 2: the honeymoon stage. Oh that is such a slap in
15:05
Speaker 2: the face.
15:06
Speaker 1: He took some liberties there.
15:07
Speaker 2: With my intonation I did not take any liberties with
15:10
Speaker 2: the words spoken.
15:11
Speaker 1: Okay, the it wasn't exact quote. Okay, So you're taking
15:16
Speaker 1: issue with this, Okay, it's just mean, it's unnecessary.
15:21
Speaker 3: Perhaps it's just speaking to his ego. But if it's fact,
15:26
Speaker 3: it can be fact. I'm not disputed, right, it might
15:28
Speaker 3: all be fact. But justify why you need to talk
15:31
Speaker 3: about this in this way fashioned with I wasn't really
15:36
Speaker 3: that into her, okay.
15:37
Speaker 1: And this next one, though, here Robes, this is the
15:40
Speaker 1: one where I started to get your point. And this
15:44
Speaker 1: is the one where his current wife of twenty four years,
15:49
Speaker 1: mother of his three children, might take issue.
15:52
Speaker 2: And all of a sudden, I met Hallie May of
15:54
Speaker 2: nineteen ninety two, and we got married January one, nineteen
15:58
Speaker 2: ninety three. But we and a lot of time apart
16:01
Speaker 2: because she was doing movies in this country, that country,
16:03
Speaker 2: And honestly, we probably could have made it if I
16:08
Speaker 2: knew about therapy, If we knew about therapy, we probably
16:13
Speaker 2: could have made it.
16:15
Speaker 1: Out she'said, it's a truth. Okay, that's not a mean
16:18
Speaker 1: statement in regard to your relationship with halle Berry. But
16:21
Speaker 1: that's a painful one for his current wife very much so,
16:25
Speaker 1: but okay, but we don't know their relationship.
16:28
Speaker 2: Maybe they talk about this all the time.
16:29
Speaker 1: I know it, okay, and I thought about that. Even
16:32
Speaker 1: if they do.
16:33
Speaker 2: You still don't want him talking about it publicly, because
16:39
Speaker 2: it does depend on who your partner is. Some people
16:42
Speaker 2: don't mind, some people think whatever, I don't care. But
16:45
Speaker 2: I'm thinking about it from a woman's respective and maybe
16:47
Speaker 2: she's a stronger, more confident woman than me. But I
16:50
Speaker 2: certainly would have a little bit of insecurity knowing that
16:54
Speaker 2: my husband, even if I had been with him for
16:55
Speaker 2: twenty four hours, had been having sex with Halle Berry
16:58
Speaker 2: when she was at her absolute fight and hottest, that
17:00
Speaker 2: would always be a little bit of an eye wow,
17:03
Speaker 2: I you know. So then to have him talk about it,
17:06
Speaker 2: we could have made it if we had therapy. I
17:09
Speaker 2: was just like, Oh, that hurts.
17:10
Speaker 1: That hurts.
17:11
Speaker 2: It has to hurt a little bit.
17:12
Speaker 1: Even if he never gave this interview.
17:15
Speaker 2: You still have that in the back. You totally would.
17:18
Speaker 1: Still have that is still would But folks, those are
17:21
Speaker 1: just a few of the quotes. The one that got
17:25
Speaker 1: everybody worked up, the one about she don't cook, she
17:28
Speaker 1: don't clean. Well, there's a little context needed with that one,
17:43
Speaker 1: all right, The headline making quote from David Justice, the
17:48
Speaker 1: ex husband of Patley Berry, who is I guess everybody
17:51
Speaker 1: worked up right now, Robes because it says she don't cook,
17:53
Speaker 1: she don't clean, she's not motherly, and he says that's
17:55
Speaker 1: why he divorced her thirty years ago. Yes, you can
17:58
Speaker 1: scratch your head about what he's talking about thirty years
18:00
Speaker 1: but yes, he did an interviewn a podcast and this
18:03
Speaker 1: part of it came out. But Robes, this now is
18:06
Speaker 1: the quote that got everybody worked up.
18:08
Speaker 2: Yeah, this was the headline making portion of his podcast interview.
18:12
Speaker 2: So David Justice says this, we never had any major
18:17
Speaker 2: issues like that. It's just like, because I was young
18:20
Speaker 2: and had only been in honestly one real relationship before her,
18:23
Speaker 2: my knowledge and my understanding and my wisdom around relationships
18:27
Speaker 2: just wasn't fast. And I look at my mom and
18:29
Speaker 2: I'm a Midwest guy, So in my mind I'm thinking
18:32
Speaker 2: a wife at that time should cook, clean, And then
18:35
Speaker 2: I'm thinking, Okay, if we have kids, is this the
18:38
Speaker 2: woman I want to have kids with and building a
18:41
Speaker 2: family with. And at that time, as a young guy,
18:44
Speaker 2: she don't cook, she don't clean, don't really seem like
18:48
Speaker 2: motherly and then we start having issues.
18:52
Speaker 1: Okay, whoo, Okay, Look.
18:56
Speaker 2: I got married in nineteen ninety six, so the first
18:59
Speaker 2: time even then, and I am a little bit younger
19:04
Speaker 2: than the two of them. Even then, I cannot imagine
19:09
Speaker 2: my then husband or anyone who I was with expecting
19:12
Speaker 2: me to cook and clean, because I know the mid
19:15
Speaker 2: nineties and I'm from the Midwest, and look, I think,
19:19
Speaker 2: I mean, everyone can have their own expectation. But it's
19:22
Speaker 2: just interesting me that you would go into a marriage
19:24
Speaker 2: knowing that that's what you think a woman should do,
19:27
Speaker 2: and know when you're marrying a movie star. That makes like,
19:30
Speaker 2: at the time, my husband knew he was marrying a
19:34
Speaker 2: career woman, and so that's I don't understand how you
19:38
Speaker 2: can hold both of those beliefs at the same time
19:40
Speaker 2: and still marry someone.
19:42
Speaker 1: Okay, let's take it back layer by layer a little bit.
19:45
Speaker 1: Now to this day, I would say there are people
19:48
Speaker 1: in parts of this country, well all over the country, sure,
19:51
Speaker 1: all over the world, some parts who do have an expectation, yep,
19:56
Speaker 1: of what a man and a woman are supposed to
19:57
Speaker 1: do in a relationship and what their responsibilities are around
20:00
Speaker 1: a house knock yourselves out, exactly. I think we've gotten
20:06
Speaker 1: farther away from that as the years go by. But
20:08
Speaker 1: if we go back a decade or two or three,
20:11
Speaker 1: for a kid who was from the Midwest, as he
20:14
Speaker 1: said and what he saw, I would take him at
20:16
Speaker 1: his word.
20:17
Speaker 2: Oh I'm not disagreeing with Like, look again, I'm a
20:20
Speaker 2: kid from the Midwest about his same age. My mom
20:23
Speaker 2: stayed home for a large part of my childhood. She
20:26
Speaker 2: did go back and become a teacher when we went
20:28
Speaker 2: back to school, which I think is fairly standard, and
20:30
Speaker 2: but she was home when we were home and all
20:32
Speaker 2: of that, and I think that's a beautiful thing. I
20:35
Speaker 2: think that's a really honestly, it's one of the most
20:37
Speaker 2: admirable things I think you can do as a woman. However,
20:40
Speaker 2: if you enter into a relationship with somebody who is
20:43
Speaker 2: not of that mindset, oh yeah, oh hello with exactly.
20:48
Speaker 2: So that's why I'm like, you just figured that out.
20:51
Speaker 2: You knew who she was, you knew what she did
20:53
Speaker 2: for a living.
20:54
Speaker 1: But here is my and this is where I thought
20:58
Speaker 1: most of our conversation was going to come is because
21:00
Speaker 1: when he said that, I thought he was admitting I
21:04
Speaker 1: was a young idiot who didn't have vast in his words,
21:09
Speaker 1: relationship knowledge or experience or wisdom. I thought, in a mate,
21:15
Speaker 1: or as in a woman, she should be doing this,
21:18
Speaker 1: this and this and this career woman, this movie star
21:22
Speaker 1: over here didn't do this, this and this, and therefore
21:24
Speaker 1: it didn't work. I thought, when I saw the context
21:27
Speaker 1: for me, it made sense now him having to say
21:32
Speaker 1: it out loud, and having to say it now when
21:36
Speaker 1: he wasn't specifically asked about this. I'll scratch my head,
21:39
Speaker 1: but I thought it was at the time, Like, isn't
21:42
Speaker 1: that a worthy thing that we examined in all kinds
21:45
Speaker 1: of relationships, no matter where you are. Sometimes robes these
21:51
Speaker 1: things don't fit. He's admitting he was too immature and
21:56
Speaker 1: wasn't ready for that relationship.
22:00
Speaker 2: Yes, and I actually believe everything he said. I take
22:03
Speaker 2: him at his word, and I do think there could
22:05
Speaker 2: be some value to saying something, but maybe not in
22:08
Speaker 2: the way he said it. Look, we look back. I'm
22:11
Speaker 2: not here to sit on or to stand on my
22:13
Speaker 2: pedestal and look down at anyone and judge anyone. I
22:16
Speaker 2: got married at twenty two, and I didn't know what
22:19
Speaker 2: I was doing, and I it was my first relationship
22:22
Speaker 2: that I ever had in my life. It was my
22:24
Speaker 2: first serious boyfriend ever. What did I know? And a
22:27
Speaker 2: lot of those relationships can work and be amazing and beautiful.
22:30
Speaker 2: I get that, But a lot of times you don't
22:32
Speaker 2: know who you are, you don't know who the other
22:34
Speaker 2: person is, and life just and I get that, and
22:37
Speaker 2: you have different expectations and you come from different parts
22:39
Speaker 2: of the world, and I get that. I just don't
22:41
Speaker 2: know what the value was in him saying that. And
22:43
Speaker 2: I just think when you read the or you we
22:45
Speaker 2: listened to it, listen to everything he had to say
22:48
Speaker 2: about that relationship. It it was said through a lens
22:52
Speaker 2: of your resentment. He and whether he wants to admit
22:56
Speaker 2: that or not, maybe going back and listening to it,
22:58
Speaker 2: and he can say, man, I think I have some
22:59
Speaker 2: unresolved anger issues towards Hallie, and that's how I look
23:02
Speaker 2: at it. But what's happening now is he's getting all
23:05
Speaker 2: the incoming and so he'll hit the lesson. We'll be
23:08
Speaker 2: learned and it'll be a tough one. And I don't
23:09
Speaker 2: want to pile on. But anything you.
23:12
Speaker 1: Said, I don't think you have been piling on. I
23:14
Speaker 1: would say pumped the brakes ifbout thought, so okay, But
23:16
Speaker 1: you just gave me a light bulb moment in that
23:18
Speaker 1: I was ready for discussion about that specific quote when
23:23
Speaker 1: I saw it, because I saw the context of what
23:25
Speaker 1: he was saying. I thought he was taken out of
23:26
Speaker 1: context in headlines and used for clickbait. I said, Oh,
23:29
Speaker 1: that's a worthy discussion just about that thing and what
23:34
Speaker 1: his expectations of a woman were then versus maybe what
23:37
Speaker 1: they are now. When I listened to the entire interview,
23:42
Speaker 1: like you just said, when you take it in a
23:44
Speaker 1: fuller context with everything else, he seems to your point Robes,
23:50
Speaker 1: he had some things to unpack. He was asked one
23:53
Speaker 1: question and went on for eight to ten minutes about
23:57
Speaker 1: halle Berry.
23:58
Speaker 2: Podcast hosts were very smart not to interrupt.
24:00
Speaker 1: They just said, and oh, yeah, I see. They just
24:03
Speaker 1: let go ahead. They didn't follow up, they didn't push
24:06
Speaker 1: the conversation. He just let it go. Why, I don't know.
24:14
Speaker 2: I don't know that he knows.
24:18
Speaker 1: Again, this isn't the worst thing in the world. Nobody
24:20
Speaker 1: has been. If he has something on his mind, he
24:22
Speaker 1: has a right to say it. But my goodness, it
24:25
Speaker 1: did to your You've just made that light bulb go
24:28
Speaker 1: off ropes in fuller context, it's hard to just take
24:30
Speaker 1: it as.
24:32
Speaker 2: And if you don't think that, can we can we
24:34
Speaker 2: please read the last thing he said about her, because
24:37
Speaker 2: to your point and to what I was saying, I
24:39
Speaker 2: think this really which one is an example of yes,
24:45
Speaker 2: she really did love me. I mean, okay, so here's
24:49
Speaker 2: this is where I was like, dude, come on, like stop, uh,
24:53
Speaker 2: here's what he said. If I was so bad as
24:56
Speaker 2: a husband, she's be like, I'm so glad he left
24:59
Speaker 2: me because it's like it was hard for her to
25:01
Speaker 2: find the next dude. It wasn't hard for her to
25:04
Speaker 2: find the next dude, but she kept my name in
25:06
Speaker 2: her mouth because she wanted to be with me. She
25:10
Speaker 2: wanted us to work out. And I now know that
25:12
Speaker 2: I've gotten a lot older. And when I look back
25:15
Speaker 2: now that I've gotten a lot older, and when I
25:16
Speaker 2: look back when I got in my thirties and I
25:18
Speaker 2: look back on that situation, I'm like, that girl really
25:21
Speaker 2: did love me. And I can see why she would
25:23
Speaker 2: be so mad at me, because imagine if you really
25:25
Speaker 2: love somebody and then they tell you they want to
25:27
Speaker 2: break up, and ain't nothing you can say to get
25:30
Speaker 2: them back. That had to be tough on her. I
25:32
Speaker 2: just wasn't emotionally mature at that age to understand the
25:35
Speaker 2: magnitude of what she was feeling. That is the most backhanded.
25:39
Speaker 2: I don't even think it was a compliment. That is,
25:41
Speaker 2: he was twisting the knife. She loved me so bad,
25:47
Speaker 2: And now that I look back, I feel bad because
25:48
Speaker 2: I really dumped her flat on her ass and there
25:51
Speaker 2: was nothing she could do, and she kept saying my name,
25:52
Speaker 2: but I just wanted nothing to do with her, poor thing.
25:55
Speaker 2: I wish I could have been nicer to her. That's
25:57
Speaker 2: what he just said. Oh my god, am I wrong.
26:02
Speaker 1: I'm trying to find a way to stick up with
26:08
Speaker 1: David Justice right now, and I'm trying to look he
26:11
Speaker 1: had a moment. Maybe he had a bad one. Maybe
26:14
Speaker 1: he's proud of what he said. Maybe he's been waiting
26:17
Speaker 1: thirty years to say that. Maybe that's meaningful to him,
26:20
Speaker 1: Maybe that gets him to whatever point. I don't know,
26:23
Speaker 1: So I don't want to judge him for what he
26:26
Speaker 1: decided to say, but it's it makes you scratch your
26:32
Speaker 1: head about why this needed to be said. And again,
26:35
Speaker 1: further context robes was it didn't the initial quote in
26:41
Speaker 1: the headlines, there are nothing compared to what is actually
26:46
Speaker 1: in there.
26:46
Speaker 2: You were so you listened to it first, and then
26:48
Speaker 2: I listened to it after you. You were like, oh
26:50
Speaker 2: my god, why what? And I was thinking to myself,
26:53
Speaker 2: what is he like? What else did he say? And
26:56
Speaker 2: it is actually when you listen to it, if you
26:58
Speaker 2: go back and listen to the podcast, just a ten
27:00
Speaker 2: minute blurb, how far into it did was.
27:03
Speaker 1: The actually eight nine minutes, twenty nine.
27:05
Speaker 2: Minutes into it? Okay, So if you want to listen
27:08
Speaker 2: to it, and I would encourage everybody to do so,
27:10
Speaker 2: it actually is more cringey than the headlines actually make it.
27:16
Speaker 1: See absolutely, and you scratch your head about why and Rose,
27:20
Speaker 1: all the relationship talks and conversations and podcasts we do,
27:23
Speaker 1: where do you break this one down? About letting go,
27:26
Speaker 1: about separation, about how many decades? About being over it,
27:30
Speaker 1: about I don't know, resolving those issues, about finally airing
27:34
Speaker 1: this out? Does it need to be public in public relationship? Ah,
27:38
Speaker 1: there's so much here that he just unleashed. And the
27:43
Speaker 1: point being he was not asked about halle Berry.
27:47
Speaker 2: He'd been dying to say it. That's all I could
27:49
Speaker 2: tell you and look to each his own. I have
27:51
Speaker 2: found that therapy is he talked about therapy between him
27:55
Speaker 2: and halle could have helped. I think just having someone
27:58
Speaker 2: you can say these things too, get them off your chest,
28:01
Speaker 2: let yourself experience the emotion you're feeling, whether it's anger
28:04
Speaker 2: or regret, whatever it is, and then let it go
28:07
Speaker 2: and be at peace with yourself, and be at peace
28:10
Speaker 2: with that person and forgive them, give them grace, but
28:12
Speaker 2: give yourself grace. This is an absolute to me example
28:16
Speaker 2: of why even if you don't, if you can't afford
28:19
Speaker 2: a therapist, that shit's expensive, have a best friend who
28:22
Speaker 2: you trust, who you can just say what you need
28:24
Speaker 2: to say to. But everyone needs to tell somebody apparently,
28:28
Speaker 2: just don't do it. On a podcast thirty years later, was.
28:32
Speaker 1: It ninety six? Really divorce ninety six? Fudge?
28:36
Speaker 2: Yeah?
28:36
Speaker 1: I know thirty years? Who was I dating thirty years?
28:40
Speaker 2: That was in him too, That was like a big
28:42
Speaker 2: thorn in him. Maybe he feels better, maybe it's released.
28:45
Speaker 1: And you know what, maybe feels good about what he
28:47
Speaker 1: did there and again questioning we've talked about it here,
28:50
Speaker 1: roues what halle Berry at least means to me the
28:53
Speaker 1: significance of certainly what we were going through at a time.
28:56
Speaker 1: And no, we're not friends. She would hang out at
28:58
Speaker 1: my house. I don't hang out of hers.
29:00
Speaker 2: But she was kind.
29:00
Speaker 1: But she was kind and I've spent more time with
29:03
Speaker 1: her than most are blessed to do so. But she
29:06
Speaker 1: reached out and was kind and I will forever, forever
29:09
Speaker 1: be grateful for that. But I'm robes the times I've
29:12
Speaker 1: spent with her. One of the first things that stand
29:15
Speaker 1: out about her is how motherly she is.
29:17
Speaker 2: Isn't that funny? I remember you talking about her, saying
29:20
Speaker 2: you listed her accolades, you know, Oscar winner, and she said,
29:24
Speaker 2: you left out my most important role mom.
29:27
Speaker 1: And any time I'm telling you, half the time that
29:31
Speaker 1: there is a text exchange, she's in the middle of
29:34
Speaker 1: doing this or something with the kids literally on the
29:36
Speaker 1: road or the kids in the car, I'm going to
29:37
Speaker 1: hear it. It's just that's the only thing I will
29:41
Speaker 1: say in defense of and nothing that I need to
29:44
Speaker 1: defend her. But to see those headlines, obviously Rose, we
29:48
Speaker 1: were good to see, Like what the heck?
29:50
Speaker 2: Yeah, And like I'll just reiterate anyone who knew me
29:53
Speaker 2: in my twenties. Would never describe me as, oh, she's
29:56
Speaker 2: going to be a good mom.
29:58
Speaker 1: No, that thirty is either.
30:01
Speaker 2: Sorry, I had ava twenty nine, so that's slightly offensive.
30:04
Speaker 2: But okay, I see where you're going with this. But no,
30:06
Speaker 2: but a lot of career minded women you aren't. And look,
30:09
Speaker 2: I think it's amazing when you know, oh, all I
30:11
Speaker 2: want to be is a mom. That's fucking beautiful. That
30:13
Speaker 2: was nothing that I ever said. And we can have
30:16
Speaker 2: all sorts of different moms and women who become moms,
30:19
Speaker 2: and we can all be great moms in different ways.
30:21
Speaker 2: But I think that's also just defensive to a lot
30:24
Speaker 2: of women. Yes, we to be perceived a certain way
30:28
Speaker 2: that makes you not mom material not fair, not fair.
30:32
Speaker 1: It's tough, but it's always worth us having a conversation
30:35
Speaker 1: about these such things when they come up. Don't have
30:38
Speaker 1: to be nasty and take down David Justice, don't have
30:41
Speaker 1: to take the very side. I don't have to take one,
30:43
Speaker 1: but it's still worthy anytime we can calmly move forward
30:47
Speaker 1: on a conversation like this. So, folks, we always appreciate
30:49
Speaker 1: you spending some time with us.
30:50
Speaker 2: I'm DJ Holt and I'm Amy Robock. Have a wonderful
30:53
Speaker 2: rest of your day,