Latest / Do You F*cking Mind? / Increase your self worth FAST with these 6 steps (E)

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Increase your self worth FAST with these 6 steps (E) · Do You F*cking Mind?

0:09
Speaker 1: Since Hello, beautiful Booms and welcome to the podcast episode
0:22
Speaker 1: of today. I'm actually just jumping in here before we
0:24
Speaker 1: get started on the topic of today's episode, to let
0:27
Speaker 1: you know, especially my Sydney beans, that I am doing
0:30
Speaker 1: a one off Sydney live show in February feb fourth.
0:35
Speaker 1: It's going to be unbelievable. It's going to be the
0:38
Speaker 1: best show yet. And I am apologizing because I left
0:41
Speaker 1: Sydney out of the Lost But Make It Look Intentional
0:44
Speaker 1: live show tour across Australia. It was unbelievable, but unfortunately
0:48
Speaker 1: I was not able to add Sydney on that to
0:50
Speaker 1: a list. But now we are coming back to Sydney
0:53
Speaker 1: with the Lost But Make It Look Intentional show, one
0:56
Speaker 1: last show off that tour, and it is going to
0:58
Speaker 1: be bigger and better than any other show I've ever done.
1:01
Speaker 1: So if you live in Sydney or really anywhere in
1:04
Speaker 1: the world, because I have had people come from New
1:06
Speaker 1: Zealand and Seattle by the way to my live shows
1:10
Speaker 1: from around the world love it so much. So if
1:12
Speaker 1: you live in Sydney or anywhere in the world, then
1:14
Speaker 1: head to dyfmpod dot com and click on the link
1:18
Speaker 1: for the live show tickets and by yourself a live
1:22
Speaker 1: show ticket. It's going to be epic. We're going to
1:23
Speaker 1: have things going on before and after. There's VIP tickets
1:27
Speaker 1: as well that are available where we're doing a meet
1:29
Speaker 1: and greet, we're doing drinks after, there's a whole it's
1:32
Speaker 1: all happening. So jump on the website get yourself a
1:36
Speaker 1: live show ticket. It's going to be on a Wednesday night,
1:39
Speaker 1: so maybe go have dinner, have drinks in the city,
1:42
Speaker 1: and then come and change your life at the live
1:45
Speaker 1: show because I will. That's my aim to change your
1:47
Speaker 1: life anyway over and out. Love you guys so much.
1:50
Speaker 1: Let's get straightened to the episode of today. Hello, my
1:55
Speaker 1: beautiful bands, and welcome to the episode of Today. So
1:59
Speaker 1: in today's episode, we're going to be talking about or
2:01
Speaker 1: I specifically, I'm going to be talking about six ways
2:05
Speaker 1: to increase your self worth. Now, I'm actually revisiting a
2:11
Speaker 1: whole bunch of topics that I have covered in the
2:13
Speaker 1: past around self worth because I was like, I want
2:14
Speaker 1: to do another episode on self worth, and I've done
2:16
Speaker 1: episodes on self worth before, so I've gone and revisited
2:19
Speaker 1: those I'm going to resurrect a couple of them, but
2:21
Speaker 1: I'm adding a bunch more to the list as well,
2:23
Speaker 1: so we're getting it to six ways to increase your
2:26
Speaker 1: self worth. And the reason I want to talk about
2:30
Speaker 1: self worth is because a lot of my content is
2:32
Speaker 1: around your relationship with yourself and self love and self
2:36
Speaker 1: worth is a huge factor. It's one of the major
2:41
Speaker 1: pillars of self love. Okay, if you do not think
2:44
Speaker 1: that you are worthy or valuable as an individual, then
2:50
Speaker 1: it's going to be really difficult for you to then
2:53
Speaker 1: love that version of you or who you are, and
2:57
Speaker 1: you're likely going to be seeking other people to prove
3:00
Speaker 1: your worth or to prove your value. And then the
3:03
Speaker 1: issue with that is that it's a bit of a
3:05
Speaker 1: lottery because sometimes you're going to meet some really beautiful
3:07
Speaker 1: people who do that all the time, and they're showing
3:10
Speaker 1: you your worth, they're showing your value, they're showing how
3:11
Speaker 1: much they love you. But if you can't provide that
3:14
Speaker 1: for yourself, you're also at the risk of meeting people
3:16
Speaker 1: that are the opposite and they tear you down and
3:19
Speaker 1: they manipulate you. You never want to be at the mercy
3:22
Speaker 1: of what other people think you are, because there's going
3:25
Speaker 1: to be good, and there's going to be bad, and
3:27
Speaker 1: if you get stuck in the bad, then you're going
3:28
Speaker 1: to feel really shit about yourself. You want to be
3:30
Speaker 1: the standard and the beauty about setting the standard of
3:34
Speaker 1: what your worth is that a you're less likely to
3:37
Speaker 1: have the shitty people come into your life, and b
3:40
Speaker 1: you're more likely to bring into people that are going
3:42
Speaker 1: to match that standard or in some cases go above
3:45
Speaker 1: and beyond because they adore you so much. So that's
3:48
Speaker 1: like win win win, tick tick tick tick tick. So
3:50
Speaker 1: we're going to be talking about how you can feel
3:52
Speaker 1: worthy things that are going to help you increase your
3:55
Speaker 1: self love by increasing your self worth. Okay, we're going
4:00
Speaker 1: to get straight into the brain fact of today. The
4:03
Speaker 1: brain fact of today is going to be around something
4:05
Speaker 1: called REM sleep disorder and also what happens in REM
4:10
Speaker 1: sleep disorder, which is a lack of muscle atonia. Okay,
4:15
Speaker 1: so this REM sleep behavior disorder is called r b D,
4:20
Speaker 1: but REM stands for rapid eye movement, which is a
4:23
Speaker 1: phase of It's one of your sleep phases where obviously,
4:28
Speaker 1: if someone has their eyes closed, you can see rapid
4:30
Speaker 1: eye movement underneath their eyelids. It's part of it's an
4:34
Speaker 1: important part of your sleep, many cycles of sleep. So
4:38
Speaker 1: you got your rapid eye movement. That's the R and
4:41
Speaker 1: then sleep behavior disorder b D. I don't know why
4:44
Speaker 1: there isn't an as there, but it's R b D and
4:46
Speaker 1: it's basically a sleep disorder which is characterized by the
4:49
Speaker 1: absence of normal muscle atonia, which is like a paralysis
4:54
Speaker 1: during REM sleep. Normally, when we get into this phase
4:57
Speaker 1: of our sleep, that's where you've got all these vivid
4:59
Speaker 1: acting dreams that are going on, and your body undergoes
5:04
Speaker 1: this kind of muscle paralysis in a way, and that
5:07
Speaker 1: prevents people from physically acting out their dreams. You know,
5:12
Speaker 1: obviously we all move in our sleep, but the actual
5:15
Speaker 1: acting out of our dreams, and obviously there are people
5:17
Speaker 1: that will act out their dreams and that's because they're
5:20
Speaker 1: not getting adequate muscle atonia. So in REM sleep behavior disorder,
5:25
Speaker 1: this muscle paralysis is incomplete or it's absent altogether, which
5:30
Speaker 1: means that this individual can physically act out their dreams
5:34
Speaker 1: while they are in their REM stage. So this can
5:39
Speaker 1: cause a lot of injury to themselves, of course, because
5:42
Speaker 1: they could be like hitting things with their leams they
5:44
Speaker 1: could be getting out of bed. That could be really
5:45
Speaker 1: hurting themselves, and of course it could be hurting the
5:48
Speaker 1: if they're sleep with a significant other, they can be
5:52
Speaker 1: like fully beating up their significant other unintentionally, well hopefully unintentionally.
5:58
Speaker 1: So the key features of sleep behavior disorder are vivid
6:02
Speaker 1: and violent dreams. So this is where people with this
6:07
Speaker 1: disorder have these intense, physically active dreams that can and
6:14
Speaker 1: often are violent or aggressive, but not always. It doesn't
6:17
Speaker 1: have to be violent or aggressive, and this can include
6:21
Speaker 1: behaviors of like sleep talking, shouting, kicking, punching, jumping out
6:27
Speaker 1: of bed in the middle of their sleep like it's intense, okay.
6:30
Speaker 1: Then the next feature is lack of muscle atonia, So
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Speaker 1: this is where you're not getting that normal muscle paralysis
6:39
Speaker 1: that should be happening during REM sleep. There's this absence
6:43
Speaker 1: of it. Then of course another feature is this high
6:47
Speaker 1: potential for injury. So because there's all this physical activity,
6:51
Speaker 1: you're a much higher risk of injuring yourself when you're asleep,
6:54
Speaker 1: and normally people with REM sleep disorder will have to
6:58
Speaker 1: put measures into play so they're less likely to injure
7:02
Speaker 1: themselves based on how their room is set up, or
7:05
Speaker 1: maybe to sleep closer to the wall so they're not
7:06
Speaker 1: falling out of the bed and things like that. Now,
7:10
Speaker 1: the lack of muscle atonia in REM sleep behavior disorder,
7:13
Speaker 1: it's due to this disrupted regulation of muscle tone during
7:18
Speaker 1: this stage of sleep, because in a typical sleep cycle,
7:21
Speaker 1: including remsleep, the brain is sending signals to inhibit muscle
7:26
Speaker 1: activity through a whole range of different neurotransmitters that are involved,
7:29
Speaker 1: which I'll go into in a second, and that's what
7:31
Speaker 1: results in the paralysis. And this paralysis is obviously a
7:35
Speaker 1: protective mechanism that is preventing you from acting out your
7:38
Speaker 1: sleep and getting hurt. And when it's disrupted, you're getting
7:42
Speaker 1: this disorder. And the exact cause of it is not
7:45
Speaker 1: fully understood, but we do know that it's got to
7:47
Speaker 1: do with a dysfunction in the brain regions that are
7:51
Speaker 1: responsible for the regulation of you know, REM sleep and
7:55
Speaker 1: muscle altonia, and also the release of different neurotransmitters that
8:00
Speaker 1: are involved in REM sleep disorder and in taking care
8:04
Speaker 1: of muscle altonia. So the neurotransmitters that are involved are
8:07
Speaker 1: the ones that are going to be involved in regulating
8:10
Speaker 1: your sleepwake cycles, ones that are involved with muscle activity.
8:14
Speaker 1: And even though we don't completely understand the mechanisms behind it,
8:19
Speaker 1: we know that there are the following neurotransmitters that I've
8:22
Speaker 1: got to mention in a second that play a key
8:25
Speaker 1: role in this disorder. So the first one is a
8:28
Speaker 1: neurotransmitter called aceta coline. So aceta coline is released in
8:32
Speaker 1: the brain stem and it activates the motor neurons, okay,
8:36
Speaker 1: that are responsible for muscle altonia. So in REMS sleep disorder,
8:41
Speaker 1: there's going to be an imbalance in acet of coline
8:44
Speaker 1: levels and this leads to the inability to achieve muscle paralysis.
8:50
Speaker 1: So then you continue moving the muscles instead of paralyzing
8:53
Speaker 1: the muscles. Then we've got GABBA. Gabba is also heavily involved. Gabba,
8:58
Speaker 1: as you probably know because I've banged on about it
9:00
Speaker 1: so much, is the primary inhibitory neurotransmitter in the brain.
9:04
Speaker 1: So it's the one that inhibits activity in the brain.
9:07
Speaker 1: And of course because its role is inhibition, it plays
9:11
Speaker 1: a massive role in relaxing the muscles. And it's believed
9:15
Speaker 1: that a deficiency in GABBA not enough inhibition or decrease
9:19
Speaker 1: levels of GABA or decreased response to GABBA in the
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Speaker 1: brain stem is what is contributing to this loss of
9:26
Speaker 1: muscle atonia. So that's why you're getting too much activity
9:29
Speaker 1: because there's not enough inhibition. Then we've got dopamine. So
9:33
Speaker 1: dopamine has been found to be involved in this disorder
9:37
Speaker 1: because dopamine is very it's like a critical player when
9:43
Speaker 1: it comes to movement. If you look at diseases such
9:45
Speaker 1: as Parkinson's disease, you're seeing a reduction in the dopamine
9:49
Speaker 1: producing neurons within the brain because it has it's heavily
9:53
Speaker 1: involved in motor control and motor function, and an imbalance
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Speaker 1: in dopamine levels is going to disrupt this regulation of
10:01
Speaker 1: muscle atonia. And you also see with a lot of
10:05
Speaker 1: people with REM sleep disorder may also develop some sort
10:09
Speaker 1: of neurodegenerative disorder. And we don't know if REM sleep
10:13
Speaker 1: disorder is a sign an early warning sign that this
10:17
Speaker 1: neurodegenerative disorder has begun, or if REM sleep disorder is
10:22
Speaker 1: kind of like this is happening independently, but the more
10:25
Speaker 1: it happens it could then cause this. That's what we
10:28
Speaker 1: don't know. But at the moment, we're taking it as
10:31
Speaker 1: a potential early warning sign. And the reason I say
10:33
Speaker 1: that is because not everyone who has REM sleep disorder
10:36
Speaker 1: goes to develop a neurodegenerative disorder such as Parkinson's, a
10:41
Speaker 1: Zama's disease, any kind of neurodegeneration. Then we've got serotonin.
10:46
Speaker 1: So serotonin is another neurotransmitter, and it's also involved, yes,
10:50
Speaker 1: in mood, but it's heavily involved in sleep regulation and
10:53
Speaker 1: muscle tone control. So you've got a seat of colon,
10:55
Speaker 1: you got gabba, dopamine, and serotonin U. So yeah, that's
11:01
Speaker 1: kind of what's causing all the things that are contributing
11:04
Speaker 1: to causing this REM sleep disorder. Now, keep in mind
11:07
Speaker 1: that there's many things that can also cause REM sleep disorder,
11:10
Speaker 1: So imbalances in neurotransmitters will vary from patient to patient.
11:15
Speaker 1: It's not going to be the same one. Like most
11:16
Speaker 1: things that happen in the brain, it's not like textbooks
11:19
Speaker 1: standard across the board. There's going to be variations between patients.
11:23
Speaker 1: And then there's also going to be people that have
11:25
Speaker 1: underlying conditions or disorders and people that don't well, that
11:30
Speaker 1: don't have obvious ones. So it seems to just be
11:32
Speaker 1: happening on its own, so to diagnose and treat it,
11:38
Speaker 1: it involves kind of addressing the underlying causes and trying
11:41
Speaker 1: to manage the symptoms. So in some cases, medications that
11:44
Speaker 1: affect neurotransmitter systems are used, such as things that will
11:49
Speaker 1: target the GABBA pathway, So something that's going to enhance
11:53
Speaker 1: the production of gabba that might be prescribed to help
11:56
Speaker 1: control these symptoms, and that way you're promoting this muscle
11:59
Speaker 1: attonia actually relaxing your muscles when you're sleeping. However, that's
12:03
Speaker 1: determined on a case by case basis, and treating the
12:06
Speaker 1: symptoms isn't saying that it's curing the disorder. You're just
12:09
Speaker 1: treating the symptoms. You're still not getting to this underlying course.
12:12
Speaker 1: So it's still important to be working with specialists to
12:15
Speaker 1: figure out is there an underlying cause for this? Is?
12:18
Speaker 1: What is this hinting to? What is it leading to?
12:21
Speaker 1: And every single person is different, every case is different.
12:24
Speaker 1: So that's the brain fact for today. Sense get straight
12:33
Speaker 1: into the topic of today's podcast episode. Basically, we're going
12:38
Speaker 1: to be talking about six ways to increase your self worth.
12:42
Speaker 1: So I'm going to be going through these six points,
12:45
Speaker 1: dolving a bit deeper into these six points, there's going
12:47
Speaker 1: to be some things that you're like, oh, yep, I
12:49
Speaker 1: definitely do that, and then other things that you're like, no,
12:52
Speaker 1: I don't do that. I can include that, and for
12:53
Speaker 1: some people you probably do none of them. So see
12:56
Speaker 1: what works for you. Take on board the ones that
12:59
Speaker 1: work for you. Take on board as many as you can,
13:01
Speaker 1: because the more things you can implement, the bigger changes
13:04
Speaker 1: you're going to see. The first thing step one, number
13:07
Speaker 1: one is provide value for others and perform good deeds.
13:14
Speaker 1: It's kind of this idea of like be of value
13:18
Speaker 1: and create value, okay, And this comes down to connection.
13:23
Speaker 1: If you live your life completely in isolation and not
13:26
Speaker 1: having solid connections and not doing something outside of yourself
13:31
Speaker 1: to contribute to your community or to society or to
13:34
Speaker 1: those that you love, including animals and nature, then you're
13:38
Speaker 1: going to start to feel quite isolated and you're going
13:41
Speaker 1: to start to be like, what's the purpose of life?
13:43
Speaker 1: What's the meaning of life? You're going to feel a
13:44
Speaker 1: bit like h you know. So it's found that people
13:49
Speaker 1: suffering There was all these studies that were done that
13:51
Speaker 1: people suffering from symptoms of depression and anxiety. Were found
13:55
Speaker 1: that they started to heal themselves by doing good deeds
13:59
Speaker 1: for other people. And the more good DEAs you did
14:01
Speaker 1: for other people, the more it alleviated the symptoms of
14:04
Speaker 1: depression and anxiety. And this might tie into this intense
14:09
Speaker 1: need for connection. So while you shouldn't be a marter
14:14
Speaker 1: and living for somebody else, because I don't think that
14:16
Speaker 1: does anybody any favors, this underlying need for connection is
14:22
Speaker 1: one of the crucial components to self love and to
14:26
Speaker 1: self worth. And you might think, well, if I'm providing
14:30
Speaker 1: worth for someone else, how is that directly making me
14:32
Speaker 1: feel worthy. It's because of the connection that you create
14:36
Speaker 1: when you provide something of value. And what I mean
14:39
Speaker 1: by off value, you've got to provide something that is
14:42
Speaker 1: not easily replaceable. You might have heard me speak about
14:46
Speaker 1: this before, but I'm going to remind you of what
14:48
Speaker 1: I'm referring to here. So when I talk about easily
14:52
Speaker 1: replaceable versus not easily replaceable, what makes think of someone
14:56
Speaker 1: in your life that you think this person is a
14:58
Speaker 1: fucking high value friend and they are not easily replaceable.
15:02
Speaker 1: Why are they not easily replaceable? They're probably someone who
15:06
Speaker 1: will preempt your needs before you even ask for it.
15:08
Speaker 1: There's someone who probably knows when something's off just by
15:10
Speaker 1: looking at you, and they care and they ask, and
15:13
Speaker 1: then they'll also ask again and they'll follow up. There's
15:15
Speaker 1: someone who will offer to help without you having to
15:18
Speaker 1: ask for it. There's someone who will listen to your
15:20
Speaker 1: bullshit ten times in a row and not be judgmental
15:23
Speaker 1: or or say how can I be of help. There's
15:25
Speaker 1: someone who can you can have fun with. There's someone
15:27
Speaker 1: who listens when you talk, They genuinely listen, They interact,
15:31
Speaker 1: they contribute. That's a high value friend a low value friend.
15:36
Speaker 1: As far as interaction, I'm not saying value in people.
15:38
Speaker 1: You can say that everyone's worth the same whatever you want.
15:40
Speaker 1: But I'm saying as far as behaviors, their high value behaviors.
15:45
Speaker 1: Low value is something that's easily replaceable, easily repeatable. So
15:50
Speaker 1: that's things like alike on social media, and a lot
15:55
Speaker 1: of the time we think, oh, we're so connected now,
15:56
Speaker 1: we're not fucking connected. Okay we're not. When people are like, oh,
16:00
Speaker 1: we're so much more connected than we've ever been, are
16:03
Speaker 1: we though? Really? Because when you look at social media, yeah,
16:06
Speaker 1: I could share what I'm doing to everyone, and there's
16:10
Speaker 1: way more people that can know what I'm doing on
16:11
Speaker 1: a day to day basis. But is that connection or
16:13
Speaker 1: is that just me broadcasting things easier than how I
16:17
Speaker 1: would have been able to broadcast them to the world
16:19
Speaker 1: in the past. But as far as connection, your friend's
16:22
Speaker 1: sending you a funny video and a like. That's lovely,
16:27
Speaker 1: but that's what's going to make you feel connected. To
16:30
Speaker 1: feel connected, you have to go the extra mile, and
16:33
Speaker 1: that's what's going to fulfill that deep human need. So
16:36
Speaker 1: while all these superficial things are fine, they're not detrimental.
16:39
Speaker 1: They only become detrimental when you start replacing real connection
16:44
Speaker 1: with this much easier to replace superficial level of connection.
16:47
Speaker 1: And that's why we feel so disconnected in an era
16:50
Speaker 1: where we're lying to ourselves saying that we are so connected.
16:54
Speaker 1: So how are you providing high value to the people
16:58
Speaker 1: around you? And you might say, now, I've already ticked
17:01
Speaker 1: that box. I'm a fucking lord, I'm a legend. I'm
17:04
Speaker 1: very good at providing this kind of value, and that's great.
17:06
Speaker 1: But for a lot of us, including myself, I can
17:10
Speaker 1: look at situations and be like Wow, I could have
17:14
Speaker 1: been a much better friend in that situation. Recently, actually,
17:18
Speaker 1: something happened with me recently where a friend who doesn't
17:21
Speaker 1: live in the same city opened up about how she
17:23
Speaker 1: was feeling in certain struggles she was having, and it
17:25
Speaker 1: highlighted to me that I could have been a much
17:28
Speaker 1: better friend as of recently and I haven't. So I'm like,
17:34
Speaker 1: this is prime example. I realized that most of my
17:36
Speaker 1: interactions with her in the last couple of years have
17:39
Speaker 1: been very much on social media, and then the few
17:41
Speaker 1: times we see each other, we're like, I miss you.
17:42
Speaker 1: Why don't we spend more time together? What are when
17:44
Speaker 1: I could just fucking pick up the phone and call her?
17:47
Speaker 1: Sometimes it takes looking into yourself and saying, am I
17:51
Speaker 1: really a high value friend here? And if you can
17:55
Speaker 1: see moments where you haven't been a high value friend,
17:58
Speaker 1: this is a good thing because that's something you can
18:00
Speaker 1: do about it. You can then take that learning and
18:02
Speaker 1: be like, all right, I regret not being there for
18:05
Speaker 1: this person, I regret not asking them all, I regret
18:07
Speaker 1: not picking up the phone because sometimes it might be
18:09
Speaker 1: awkward or uncomfortable, but the moment you pick up the phone,
18:11
Speaker 1: when you make that call. When you reach out, when
18:13
Speaker 1: you try and be there for your friend's needs, you
18:17
Speaker 1: start to feel so much better about yourself. You feel
18:21
Speaker 1: that you're contributing to somebody's life. You're offering legitimate value.
18:25
Speaker 1: You're not just sending them a fucking funny video. You're
18:27
Speaker 1: really there, You're here to listen. And then you start
18:30
Speaker 1: feeling this deep sense of connection, and you start feeling
18:34
Speaker 1: like you've got this really deep place in the world.
18:37
Speaker 1: When you contribute to those people around you, the ones
18:39
Speaker 1: that you care about, nature, animals, helping, doing good deeds,
18:46
Speaker 1: you feel more valuable because you are witnessing the value
18:49
Speaker 1: that you are providing. Okay, so I think that it's
18:54
Speaker 1: impossible to talk about increasing your self worth without including
18:58
Speaker 1: your connection with the world around you, because value is
19:03
Speaker 1: two ways. It's a two ways street. You can't just
19:05
Speaker 1: be like, I'm so valuable and never interact with anybody.
19:08
Speaker 1: That's not possible because everything in life is about interacting
19:12
Speaker 1: with the people and the things around us. So the
19:15
Speaker 1: number one thing for self worth is provide value for others,
19:20
Speaker 1: perform good deeds, be bothered to do things for other people.
19:24
Speaker 1: When you can be bothered to do things, it might
19:28
Speaker 1: be a push. At the beginning, it might feel like
19:30
Speaker 1: a bit of a struggle, but it's going to transform
19:33
Speaker 1: how you feel about yourself, and not to mention, it's
19:36
Speaker 1: going to enrich your relationships. And therefore you feel like
19:40
Speaker 1: you've got more that you want to give because the
19:42
Speaker 1: relationship is getting so good. And I spoke about friends,
19:45
Speaker 1: but this could be with your partner, this could be
19:47
Speaker 1: with your family, with your pets, with nature in general.
19:50
Speaker 1: There's so much that you have to give. And sometimes
19:54
Speaker 1: when people are highly, highly anxious and very depressed, one
19:57
Speaker 1: of the key things is that they start to close
19:59
Speaker 1: off and isolate and close off an isolate. So it's
20:00
Speaker 1: a vicious circle. If you then start kind of forcing
20:04
Speaker 1: yourself out of your shell and thing, I'm going to
20:06
Speaker 1: focus on giving in this regard or doing this. So
20:08
Speaker 1: I'm going to start to whatever feel more connected to this.
20:13
Speaker 1: You know, I'll start volunteering at the pound and walking
20:15
Speaker 1: the dogs and doing things, just doing things for animals, people,
20:19
Speaker 1: things outside of you. You will start to get outside
20:22
Speaker 1: of this vicious cycle inside your own head, step outside
20:26
Speaker 1: of that and start to feel more connected. Okay, so
20:28
Speaker 1: initially it might not be easy, but it's absolutely incredible
20:32
Speaker 1: what you can gain from it. The second thing, number
20:36
Speaker 1: two is to put things into perspective. So often we
20:42
Speaker 1: will get our self worth from what other people determine
20:49
Speaker 1: our self worth is. So that's kind of like, if
20:53
Speaker 1: we have really good people around us who are always
20:55
Speaker 1: saying good things about us, who are always like building
20:58
Speaker 1: us up, we're going to Okay, I feel great, feel
21:00
Speaker 1: really really good. If we're around people that are always
21:02
Speaker 1: like trying to pull us down or being mean to us,
21:06
Speaker 1: then we're not going to feel as worthy. We're going
21:07
Speaker 1: to feel like really bad about ourselves. And if you're
21:10
Speaker 1: someone that really generates your sense of self and your
21:13
Speaker 1: validation from people around you, then you're going to be
21:16
Speaker 1: easily influenced and it's going to be a bit of
21:18
Speaker 1: a roller coast. I feel really good this day because
21:20
Speaker 1: I had great things said to me, and then I
21:21
Speaker 1: feel terrible this day because this person looked at me
21:24
Speaker 1: in a bad way and made a snappy remark, or
21:26
Speaker 1: someone yelled at me because I made an accident or whatever. Right,
21:29
Speaker 1: So I always say try and put things into perspective,
21:33
Speaker 1: because if you're generating yourself worth from other people, it
21:37
Speaker 1: can be very very damaging. When you have a few
21:39
Speaker 1: negative interactions in a row with people. So what you
21:43
Speaker 1: see from your interaction with someone is just a slither
21:47
Speaker 1: of what's going on in their head. And if you
21:51
Speaker 1: look at how someone treats you and they treat you
21:53
Speaker 1: poorly that way, it could set off your day and
21:56
Speaker 1: for the rest of the day, you're in your head
21:57
Speaker 1: and you got like terrible anxiety because you're like, I
21:59
Speaker 1: feel shit, I've done this wrong. No one likes me,
22:02
Speaker 1: everyone fucking thinks I'm an idiot, and you just start
22:05
Speaker 1: spiraling because someone hasn't treated you well, or someone said
22:08
Speaker 1: something to you, or your friends were friends quote unquote
22:11
Speaker 1: people were like laughing, and it felt like they were
22:14
Speaker 1: laughing behind your back because they weren't including you in it.
22:16
Speaker 1: And now you're in your head and you don't know
22:17
Speaker 1: what to do. So when things like that happen, I
22:20
Speaker 1: always say, put it into perspective. Keep in mind that
22:24
Speaker 1: while something might have offended you, while someone might have
22:27
Speaker 1: snapped at you, you are just ultimately one facet of
22:34
Speaker 1: that person's entire life. Someone might have been having a
22:36
Speaker 1: really bad day and you just happened to be at
22:39
Speaker 1: the wrong place at the wrong time, and they snap
22:41
Speaker 1: at you and say something awful, but it's just a
22:43
Speaker 1: reflection what's going on in their head. Someone might be
22:47
Speaker 1: really intimidated by you, and not that it justifies it,
22:50
Speaker 1: but they might then react in a way that makes
22:53
Speaker 1: you feel like, oh, wow, I was just trying to
22:55
Speaker 1: be nice and they've fully just shut me down, And
22:57
Speaker 1: now what have I done wrong? So I always say
23:00
Speaker 1: when people react negatively to you, always pause and put
23:04
Speaker 1: it into perspective and think, I'm just one slither of
23:07
Speaker 1: what's going on in their day. There might be a
23:09
Speaker 1: lot more that's happening in their day that is causing
23:12
Speaker 1: this kind of behavior and this kind of reaction. I'm
23:15
Speaker 1: going to put it into perspective. Okay, So even if
23:18
Speaker 1: someone says something that's not very nice to you, you
23:20
Speaker 1: might think this statement is coming from this person either
23:23
Speaker 1: being frustrated, or maybe they're insecure, or maybe they're really
23:26
Speaker 1: annoyed and they've just slashed out, or maybe they're fearful
23:29
Speaker 1: of losing someone, or they're jealous, or they're just a
23:33
Speaker 1: plain asshole can't relate. So I'm not offended, you know.
23:35
Speaker 1: So when you attribute people's like mean or nasty actions
23:42
Speaker 1: to something outside of you. Then it hurts a lot
23:45
Speaker 1: less and you're not thinking that has determined my worth.
23:47
Speaker 1: Because if if someone said something to you in a
23:50
Speaker 1: mean way and there's no context, you're going to take
23:53
Speaker 1: it personally. But if someone says something mean and you
23:56
Speaker 1: know that they just were involved in a car accident
23:58
Speaker 1: and their stresses at an all time high, are you
24:01
Speaker 1: going to take it as personally? Probably not, because you'd
24:03
Speaker 1: be like, Wow, this person's like teetering on the edge
24:06
Speaker 1: right now, and I just happen to be there. So
24:08
Speaker 1: I always try and think, all right, perspective, there could
24:11
Speaker 1: have been a million things that have gotten this person
24:13
Speaker 1: to be this way, And even if they are an asshole,
24:17
Speaker 1: it still helps me to feel that way because it's
24:20
Speaker 1: giving them the benefit of the doubt and it makes
24:21
Speaker 1: me feel better. So whether it's the truth or not irrelevant,
24:24
Speaker 1: that's just the headspace that I'm going to be in.
24:26
Speaker 1: So when people are mean, I just think, Oh, I
24:27
Speaker 1: wonder what's going on in their day. Probably it's probably
24:29
Speaker 1: not a good day. That's just what I think. I
24:31
Speaker 1: don't think, oh my god, I'm fucked, I'm this, I'm that,
24:34
Speaker 1: So perspective perspective perspective, always think benefit of the doubt.
24:39
Speaker 1: There must be shit going on in that person's life.
24:41
Speaker 1: I'm just going to step aside, not let it, you know,
24:45
Speaker 1: change how I feel about myself and factor in what
24:49
Speaker 1: my worthiness is based on their behavior. The third point
24:53
Speaker 1: is care more and not less. So this is to
24:58
Speaker 1: take the time to invest in and to care about things. Now,
25:02
Speaker 1: I really want to pull this apart from this idea
25:04
Speaker 1: of giving lesser for fuck, because I'm really big on
25:08
Speaker 1: stress less and give less of the fuck about certain things.
25:12
Speaker 1: But there is a difference between it, because there is
25:14
Speaker 1: a difference between being invested and interested in something that
25:19
Speaker 1: you can seek your teeth into versus stressing about something
25:23
Speaker 1: that you have no control over, as in someone else's actions,
25:25
Speaker 1: someone else's thoughts, a bad decision that you made a
25:29
Speaker 1: while ago. That's like playing on your mind and it's
25:31
Speaker 1: ruining your life and it's just not letting you move
25:35
Speaker 1: forward and proceed and be happy. Okay, So when I
25:38
Speaker 1: talk about giving lesser for fuck, that's referring to things
25:41
Speaker 1: that you have no controller troll over, you can't change,
25:44
Speaker 1: and therefore you're trying to move forward in the most
25:46
Speaker 1: productive way possible with your life. And what I mean
25:49
Speaker 1: by saying care more is I think a lot of
25:53
Speaker 1: people have this really nonchalant attitude about everything in their life.
25:58
Speaker 1: And when I say a lot of people that don't
25:59
Speaker 1: have the stats on I'm just talking about people that
26:01
Speaker 1: I've observed in my life. It's this, ah yeah, cool,
26:03
Speaker 1: huh whatever? This are that? Or you know those people that,
26:06
Speaker 1: especially teenagers tenergs are great at this. They're too cool
26:09
Speaker 1: for anything. Oh yeah whatever, You're cool, and they just
26:12
Speaker 1: never get passionate about anything until they're a bit older
26:14
Speaker 1: and they become a bit more mature and they realize,
26:16
Speaker 1: oh my god, okay, they start to learn. But this
26:18
Speaker 1: is something that you can bring into your life earlier,
26:21
Speaker 1: and it's something that starts to make you feel really good.
26:23
Speaker 1: Get passionate about things that you are involved in. There's
26:27
Speaker 1: no point doing something half fast. There's no point having
26:30
Speaker 1: one foot in the door here, one foot in the
26:32
Speaker 1: door there. If you're going to do something, how can
26:34
Speaker 1: you invest more into it? How can you go all
26:38
Speaker 1: in on this thing, whether it's a friendship, whether it
26:40
Speaker 1: even in dating. Dating is a prime example of this.
26:43
Speaker 1: It just I find it so sad that because there's
26:48
Speaker 1: you know, and I did a whole episode on this,
26:49
Speaker 1: but this whole idea that there's all these choices that
26:53
Speaker 1: people then are like, ah, and they're just a bit
26:55
Speaker 1: like nonchalant about all the options on the table in
26:59
Speaker 1: the app, at least perceived options, that they never get
27:02
Speaker 1: really passionate and excited about something. It's like, get excited
27:06
Speaker 1: about something, and when you start getting excited about something,
27:09
Speaker 1: you start to be like, oh, this actually feels good.
27:12
Speaker 1: I just felt a change in my body. And you
27:14
Speaker 1: physically do change. When you're excited about something, you feel
27:17
Speaker 1: the change. And when you roll with these emotions, you
27:20
Speaker 1: start to release more similar chemicals, emotions, feelings, neurotransmitters. Everything
27:27
Speaker 1: starts to change, and then you start to feel better.
27:29
Speaker 1: You start to feel more empowered, you start to feel happier,
27:32
Speaker 1: and therefore you start to feel more worthy. Okay, so
27:36
Speaker 1: get excited about things, Get excited about the fact that
27:38
Speaker 1: you get to do certain things. Get excited about this
27:40
Speaker 1: hobby that you're doing. Get pumped about the person that
27:42
Speaker 1: you're dating. You know, invest And when I talk about
27:47
Speaker 1: dating or anything that you're doing, if you're dating someone,
27:51
Speaker 1: dating is the test drive, right, So when I say Okay,
27:57
Speaker 1: I'm blabbering, but I'm going to give you an example.
27:58
Speaker 1: He I had a friend and he was saying someone
28:00
Speaker 1: and he's like, I don't know. I just don't know
28:02
Speaker 1: if it's working. I don't know where we stand. I'm
28:05
Speaker 1: kind of send me into it. I'm kind of I
28:07
Speaker 1: don't know. I'm at this point now it's been a
28:09
Speaker 1: couple of weeks. Do I pursue it? Do I not? Do?
28:12
Speaker 1: I just you know, if I'm not passionate yet, does
28:14
Speaker 1: that mean that I just pull the pin on the
28:15
Speaker 1: whole thing. And I said to him, people are so
28:18
Speaker 1: scared to enter relationships because they think, oh my god,
28:20
Speaker 1: now it's official. Now it's official. Once the relationship becomes
28:24
Speaker 1: Official's that only then can you begin to really know
28:28
Speaker 1: what it's like to date this person. When you are
28:30
Speaker 1: dating somebody, as in, we've decided that we mutually agree
28:34
Speaker 1: on what the dynamics of this relationship is. For argument's sake,
28:37
Speaker 1: because it's probably the most common one, let's talk about
28:39
Speaker 1: a monogamous relationship. When you enter this monogamous relationship, you
28:43
Speaker 1: both agree that is the test drive. I am now
28:47
Speaker 1: officially test driving this car, but I'm going all in
28:51
Speaker 1: on this test drive. It's not like, oh, but I'll
28:53
Speaker 1: also fucking test drive a thousand other cars. No, no, no,
28:55
Speaker 1: I'm being I'm really trying this thing now. So I
28:58
Speaker 1: said to him, why don't you make it official. You
29:02
Speaker 1: can always break up with someone, you can always end
29:04
Speaker 1: a relationship if it's not working. But if you make
29:06
Speaker 1: it official in your head, maybe you're more likely to
29:08
Speaker 1: go all in and really invest and give it. You're
29:12
Speaker 1: all psychologically, you're now giving it, you're all. And see
29:15
Speaker 1: what happens. They're now engaged. They're now fucking engaged and
29:19
Speaker 1: so in love because he they're the best. I was
29:23
Speaker 1: gonna give a shout out at privacy whatever, but these
29:26
Speaker 1: guys are now engaged. And he was like, I'm just
29:28
Speaker 1: going to go all in on this thing because She's right, Like,
29:32
Speaker 1: if if it's not working out, at least I'll know
29:35
Speaker 1: for sure, I'll never have doubts because I gave it
29:37
Speaker 1: my all. So I think it's important to invest more
29:40
Speaker 1: care or go all in more, and that when you're
29:42
Speaker 1: more confident with your decisions, you're more confident when you
29:45
Speaker 1: do want to walk away from something. You're more confident
29:47
Speaker 1: when you want to go deeper into something because you
29:50
Speaker 1: are investing emotion and time into something properly. Okay. And
29:55
Speaker 1: the reason why this ties in so heavily with your
29:57
Speaker 1: self worth is because you're not sitting on the fence
30:00
Speaker 1: the whole time. You're decisive with the decisions in your life.
30:05
Speaker 1: You're really taking intentional action. And when you do that,
30:09
Speaker 1: you trust yourself more. You're able to really trust your
30:12
Speaker 1: instincts more and trust your intuition more. Okay, I love it.
30:17
Speaker 1: It's something that I've been doing more and more with
30:19
Speaker 1: my life, and fucking here for it. Number four is
30:23
Speaker 1: do something every single day to show respect for your
30:27
Speaker 1: brain and your mind. Okay. So an analogy for this
30:32
Speaker 1: is imagine that you're raising a child. You're raising your child,
30:36
Speaker 1: and you want this child and their brain to have
30:40
Speaker 1: the best start possible. You would think of their brain
30:43
Speaker 1: as this like miracle thing that's absorbing all these things,
30:46
Speaker 1: and you know it's kind of up to you to
30:49
Speaker 1: be raising this child and to mold their brain in
30:51
Speaker 1: the best way possible for them to have the best
30:53
Speaker 1: chance at life and all of that. So what would
30:55
Speaker 1: you do. You would do trying to encourage exploration. You
30:58
Speaker 1: would encourage curiosity, you would be feeding at rich thoughts
31:02
Speaker 1: and new pieces of information. You would be speaking kindly
31:08
Speaker 1: to it, you would be encouraging, you'd be encouraging effort.
31:13
Speaker 1: You would be probably not putting them in front of
31:16
Speaker 1: a screen for twelve hours every single day. So you've
31:19
Speaker 1: got to think, like, how would I treat this child's
31:21
Speaker 1: brain that I'm trying to nurture into the happiest, most
31:24
Speaker 1: productive brain possible. And it would be roughly all these
31:27
Speaker 1: things that I've mentioned, plus a whole lot more. So,
31:29
Speaker 1: now when you've written that list, think how much of
31:32
Speaker 1: that do I do for my own brain? Because like,
31:36
Speaker 1: how much can I do to treat my What can
31:39
Speaker 1: I do for my brain to give it the best
31:42
Speaker 1: chance possible at happiness, at you know, productivity, at getting
31:50
Speaker 1: where I want in my life? You know? And there's
31:53
Speaker 1: so many things that you can be doing right now
31:57
Speaker 1: that could change your brain. The beauty of the brain
31:59
Speaker 1: is is that it can always be changing and molding
32:04
Speaker 1: it the way you want it, and changing and molding
32:07
Speaker 1: and reach. And you got read throughout your entire life,
32:10
Speaker 1: And yes it is easier when you're younger, but it's
32:14
Speaker 1: possible your entire life. The reason it's easier is because
32:17
Speaker 1: the brain's a bit more mouldable, bit more plastic when
32:19
Speaker 1: you're young, including when you're a child. It's easier than
32:22
Speaker 1: when you're fifty. Okay, but it's always possible. So you've
32:26
Speaker 1: got to ask yourself, what are certain exercises that I
32:30
Speaker 1: could do to be treating my brain with respect? And
32:34
Speaker 1: that's things like learning something every single day, physical activity, exercise,
32:38
Speaker 1: getting your heart rate up, blood pumping to the brain, meditation,
32:41
Speaker 1: things to calm the brain and get the brain communicating,
32:44
Speaker 1: brain regions communicating better. You could be doing things in
32:48
Speaker 1: the raine. Nutrition foods are eating lots of veggies, elphanine
32:52
Speaker 1: green tea, things that are like enriching for your brain
32:54
Speaker 1: Omega three's things like that hydrating your brain. Are you're
32:57
Speaker 1: drinking enough fucking water. And then things as far as
33:00
Speaker 1: is creativity and exploration, like a hobby or a challenge,
33:03
Speaker 1: something that's going to make your brain challenged every single day.
33:07
Speaker 1: So every day, ask yourself, what am I doing today
33:11
Speaker 1: to respect my brain and my mind? And there's got
33:15
Speaker 1: to be something on that list. There has to be
33:16
Speaker 1: something that you can tick off on that list. I
33:18
Speaker 1: don't care how small. Every single day, and then when
33:20
Speaker 1: you do that exercise and ask yourself that every single day,
33:23
Speaker 1: you then are more primed to be like, okay, what
33:27
Speaker 1: else can I do? And what else? Cause like energy
33:30
Speaker 1: flows where at tension goes. So if you're always thinking,
33:32
Speaker 1: if you're always primed at the start of the day,
33:34
Speaker 1: what can I do to respect my brain? What can
33:36
Speaker 1: I do to respect my mind? Then you're more likely
33:38
Speaker 1: to do more things because that's where your awareness is. Okay,
33:42
Speaker 1: So focus on that and do something every single day
33:46
Speaker 1: to show yourself that you respect your brain and your
33:49
Speaker 1: mind because your brain and your mind is like the
33:51
Speaker 1: control center of your life. Okay, so take care of that.
33:55
Speaker 1: Everything else is taken care of. The fifth one is
34:00
Speaker 1: command versus demand. So when it comes to how you
34:04
Speaker 1: were treated, never demand how you want to be treated. Okay.
34:10
Speaker 1: It's this whole thing about like respect. You command respect,
34:12
Speaker 1: you don't demand respect. You don't ever force someone to
34:17
Speaker 1: treat you a certain way or beg someone to treat
34:20
Speaker 1: you a certain way. You show people how you would
34:24
Speaker 1: like to be treated, and then it's up to that
34:25
Speaker 1: person if they want to treat you that way or not.
34:28
Speaker 1: But then it's up to you if you want to
34:30
Speaker 1: keep interacting with that person or not. I would never
34:33
Speaker 1: say this is how you have to treat me. You
34:34
Speaker 1: got to treat me banging on a no. I treat
34:38
Speaker 1: my way with a standard. There's a standard. If someone
34:41
Speaker 1: crosses that line, I say, I don't. I don't put
34:44
Speaker 1: up with that. But often the line isn't isn't crossed. Well, now,
34:49
Speaker 1: especially the older I get, the less likely that line
34:51
Speaker 1: is crossed. When I was a lot younger, you know,
34:54
Speaker 1: in the dating scene and friendships, and the line was
34:56
Speaker 1: getting crossed all the time, I didn't even know where
34:58
Speaker 1: the line was. But as I got older, as I
34:59
Speaker 1: re realize, this is what I want, this is what
35:01
Speaker 1: I don't want, and I started treating myself with that
35:03
Speaker 1: bare minimum. And by that I mean I would walk
35:06
Speaker 1: away when something wasn't working for me. I wouldn't put
35:08
Speaker 1: up with bullshit just because I was like, oh, but
35:10
Speaker 1: you're really cool. I just wouldn't. And I'd started removing
35:13
Speaker 1: myself from situations that weren't working for me. People start
35:16
Speaker 1: to notice that. They start to notice there is a
35:18
Speaker 1: line that Alexis will not allow people to cross, and
35:22
Speaker 1: she'll either remove herself from the situation or she'll say,
35:25
Speaker 1: this is the last time that I'm going to put
35:27
Speaker 1: up with that, you know. But I will never tell
35:29
Speaker 1: someone how they have to treat me. I'll never demand anything.
35:32
Speaker 1: I'll say, this is what I provide for myself, and
35:35
Speaker 1: if someone's going to cross it, that's perfectly fine, but
35:37
Speaker 1: I'm not going to be a part of it. And
35:39
Speaker 1: then when you put the focus more on this is
35:43
Speaker 1: about me, I'm not trying to boss people around and
35:45
Speaker 1: tell people and beg and plead and whatever, then people
35:49
Speaker 1: will either respond or walk away. If you get stuck
35:53
Speaker 1: in this back and forth of an unhealthy dynamic with friends,
35:57
Speaker 1: with partners, with employees, colleagues, with family, where it's just
36:02
Speaker 1: like begging. But I want you to treat with this
36:04
Speaker 1: like Unfortunately, there's going to be times in your life
36:07
Speaker 1: where people are not going to treat you the way
36:09
Speaker 1: you want to be treated. And the issue is that
36:11
Speaker 1: a lot of people will start to degrade how they
36:13
Speaker 1: feel about themselves because they stay in the scenario and
36:16
Speaker 1: they keep saying, but I'm asking you to do this,
36:18
Speaker 1: I'm asking, I'm asking. People don't always do what you ask,
36:21
Speaker 1: They just don't because people don't view situations the way
36:24
Speaker 1: you view them, the way you view them. People don't
36:26
Speaker 1: share the same morals that you have. People don't have
36:29
Speaker 1: the same life experiences that you have had, So everyone's
36:33
Speaker 1: going to come from a different angle to a conclusion.
36:37
Speaker 1: So you can't be sitting in life expecting you have
36:40
Speaker 1: to treat me this way. You have to know what
36:42
Speaker 1: to do if someone is refusing to treat you in
36:44
Speaker 1: a way that you want to be treated okay. And
36:47
Speaker 1: that's where it gets really difficult because a lot of
36:49
Speaker 1: people they know what they'd like, but they're not willing
36:53
Speaker 1: to walk away when those standards aren't met. You have
36:55
Speaker 1: to learn to set the standard and walk away when
36:59
Speaker 1: those standards are not met. So this is the command
37:02
Speaker 1: versus demand. I will always remove myself from a situation
37:05
Speaker 1: if I can't meet in the middle with someone and
37:07
Speaker 1: determine what that minimum standard is for respect mutually, and
37:12
Speaker 1: if we can't get to that point, I would just
37:14
Speaker 1: remove myself from the situation. I will not be fucking
37:18
Speaker 1: labeling it and telling it how it is and fucking
37:20
Speaker 1: you have to this and no, okay. And because of that,
37:23
Speaker 1: I feel a lot calmer in myself. I feel very
37:25
Speaker 1: confident within myself because I know that I will always
37:29
Speaker 1: provide the bare minimum standard of that treatment. Okay, so
37:32
Speaker 1: command versus demand. Then the last one is reflect back.
37:39
Speaker 1: This is a really good way to remind yourself of
37:43
Speaker 1: your worth. Now there's three categories of things that you
37:48
Speaker 1: have earned that you can focus on that makes you
37:51
Speaker 1: start to like that reminds you of your worth, Okay.
37:55
Speaker 1: And I always talk about earning things because earning things
37:58
Speaker 1: is a really good reflection of who you are as
38:00
Speaker 1: an individual. I don't you know, you can't be like,
38:02
Speaker 1: oh my god, I'm really worthy because I'm hot. You
38:04
Speaker 1: haven't earned your hotness. And a lot of people who
38:07
Speaker 1: are actually like textbook hot have a lot of anxiety
38:12
Speaker 1: and a lot of self doubt because they're using that
38:15
Speaker 1: facet to determine their worth and they're like, oh, but
38:17
Speaker 1: this is going to fade and is this enough? And
38:19
Speaker 1: then it's just my look. So it's got to be
38:21
Speaker 1: something you've earned, because things that you've earned can't be bought, borrowed, stolen, imitated,
38:28
Speaker 1: taken away. If you've earned something, that's what you've that's you. Okay.
38:34
Speaker 1: So when I talk about earning things that you can
38:36
Speaker 1: focus on to make you be like, fuck, I did that.
38:38
Speaker 1: I did that, So this is what I've achieved in
38:40
Speaker 1: my life and it makes you feel better about yourself.
38:42
Speaker 1: One category is relationship achievement, so the quality of your relationships,
38:48
Speaker 1: and that's something that you know, I've really earned this
38:50
Speaker 1: amazing bond with my sister, I've really earned this incredible
38:54
Speaker 1: group of friends, I've really earned this whatever. But look
38:57
Speaker 1: at your relationships and the real, healthy, good relationships, it's
39:02
Speaker 1: at least fifty percent due to you, and you've worked
39:05
Speaker 1: on that because if you weren't the quality of person
39:08
Speaker 1: that you are today, that relationship would be different. So
39:11
Speaker 1: give yourself credit for the good relationships in your life,
39:14
Speaker 1: and then that will also help you realize, oh where
39:16
Speaker 1: am I lacking in other relationships? Can I make them
39:18
Speaker 1: just as good? Another one is physical slush, intellectual things
39:23
Speaker 1: that you've earned. You know, what have you worked really
39:26
Speaker 1: hard on physically or mentally to achieve? And this is
39:29
Speaker 1: like external achievements that you've worked hard for to get.
39:33
Speaker 1: And then the last one is emotional things as far
39:36
Speaker 1: as growth, like what adversity have I overcome? What have
39:41
Speaker 1: I been able to work on emotionally or from a
39:43
Speaker 1: mental health perspective that I've seen progress in. You know, what,
39:48
Speaker 1: have I overcome a heartbreak? Have I overcome this kind
39:50
Speaker 1: of failure? Have I been able to, you know, put
39:53
Speaker 1: myself out there again and be vulnerable. Things in that
39:56
Speaker 1: category of like emotional strength that you've earned. Keep a list.
40:01
Speaker 1: Start adding to that list, because some things won't come
40:04
Speaker 1: top of mind, won't come to you top of mind,
40:06
Speaker 1: and then you'll think about it the next day. You
40:08
Speaker 1: start adding and adding and adding, and before you know,
40:10
Speaker 1: you're gonna have a pretty extensive list of things that
40:12
Speaker 1: you as an individual have earned for yourself. And when
40:16
Speaker 1: you look back on that list, you're really focusing on
40:19
Speaker 1: everything that you have achieved and also what you're capable
40:22
Speaker 1: of achieving. And when you look at that, you're like,
40:25
Speaker 1: wait a minute, if I've done that, I could do this,
40:26
Speaker 1: and I could do that. And you have a really
40:28
Speaker 1: proactive approach instead of this kind of reactive approach to life,
40:32
Speaker 1: and then you start to realize how much you do
40:35
Speaker 1: have to give and how much you do have to offer. Okay,
40:37
Speaker 1: so those are the six points. We've got provide value
40:41
Speaker 1: and perform good deeds. We've got put things into perspective
40:45
Speaker 1: We've got give a shit about you know, just care
40:49
Speaker 1: more about people and things and things that you do.
40:52
Speaker 1: We've got respect your brain and mind, command respect versus demand,
40:58
Speaker 1: and reflecting on the things that you have earned. So
41:02
Speaker 1: that is the episode of today. Hopefully you are able
41:05
Speaker 1: to put one or all six of these things into
41:08
Speaker 1: practice and you'll definitely start to notice a difference in
41:12
Speaker 1: how you feel around yourself work. Guys. That is all
41:15
Speaker 1: for the episode of today. Thank you so much for listening.
41:18
Speaker 1: As always, remember be kind to yourself, be kind to
41:20
Speaker 1: your brain, don't take shit from anyone, and especially don't
41:23
Speaker 1: take shit from yourself. Don't care