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Narcissists dont expect you to be strong · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people?
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  Today we're going to be talking about one thing that narcissists
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  do not expect from you, and that's strength if you're new
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  here. My name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist.
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  And welcome to another episode of the Narcissist Code.
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  So welcome back. Welcome back.
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  Welcome back. Yes, y'all.
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  Narcissists do not expect you to be strong.
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  Let's just keep it hot. This will be an inspirational
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  episode, so you will need to be inspired.
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  This is the video for you. You need some inspiration to
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  take some action in your life. This is the video for you.
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  Because dealing with a narcissist, we all know, you
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  know that that's going to be an extremely difficult task to do,
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  right? It is, regardless of what type
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  of narcissist you're dealing with.
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  Somatic narcissist, covert narcissist, malignant over
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  whatever type, vulnerable. You know what I mean?
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  Whatever type of narcissist that you're dealing with is going to
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  be a tough task to deal with them regardless, because they're
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  narcissist, right? But one thing that they do not
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  expect from their victims, from the survivors, from the
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  thrivers, is strength. Just overall strength.
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  They don't want you to be strong and that's point blank, period.
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  They don't expect you to be strong.
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  A lot of narcissists think that they have beaten you down to the
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  point where you're not going to fight back, where you're just
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  going to sit around and take it because they think you're going
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  to take it and take it and take it and they don't think you're
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  going to punch back. I'm not about actually
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  physically punching. Sometimes you can get to that
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  level, but they expect you to lay down and take it because
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  that's what they conditioned you to do.
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  They conditioned you that to fight their fighting back is
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  futile. They're standing up for
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  yourself. It's pointless.
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  They set in a boundary. It's a waste of your damn time.
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  But this is not how it has to be, right?
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  Because you have autonomy. You have bodily, emotional,
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  mental autonomy. You have it.
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  They just convince you that you don't.
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  So right now, the process is going to in order to move
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  forward and heal them to grow, you have to take back your your
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  autonomic power. You can, you can do it too.
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  Because they don't expect you to set a boundary.
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  They don't expect you to say no, they don't expect you to to to
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  just stand up for yourself. They're not expecting.
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  That's why they get surprised when you do it, then when they
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  get shocked when you do it. As soon as you try to set a
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  boundary, as soon as you tell them hell no.
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  As soon as you say, say no, I'm not.
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  I don't, I don't like that I don't want to do this anymore.
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  As soon as you just say, hey, if you do that, we're going to
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  break up. Boom.
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  Now they want to go into victim mode because now your strength
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  has made them flee within themselves.
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  Now that they have to find a way to victimize themselves in order
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  to victimize themselves, they'll try to make you feel guilty,
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  right? Oh, I didn't know.
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  I didn't think you were that type of person.
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  I didn't know you would do that. What?
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  I thought you love me. I thought you cared about me.
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  If you you really going to try to set a boundary now?
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  What? You really going to stand up for
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  yourself now? What?
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  You really not going to let me do what I want to do now?
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  Well, I'm the victim. If you stand tall and stand firm
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  and set those boundaries and keep moving forward, typically
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  they will leave you alone. But you do have those toxic
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  abuses. Narcissists that take it as a
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  challenge to try to break you like a damn horse.
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  They try to break you like spirit.
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  They move the move. The little cartoon movie spirit.
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  They try to break you like spirit little horse cartoon
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  movie. I think it was Ben.
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  What was It wasn't Ben Affleck, It was was Matt Damon in spirit
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  the horse movie? I don't know, maybe he was.
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  I don't know, It was one of them, one of those guys.
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  But that's how it goes. They don't expect you to be
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  strong. So that's one of the reason they
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  keep perpetuated and doing the same behaviors over and over
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  again. They don't think you ever going
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  to tell them to stop when you tell them stop.
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  I don't like that. If you do that, if you leave
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  here to go cheat again, I won't be here when you get back.
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  And when they get back, you're not there.
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  They've been blocked. And you, you, you're gone.
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  You with no contact. They don't.
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  They be. Oh, no.
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  You need me. Can't believe you left me.
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  Can't believe you left without one last conversation.
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  What the hell? Can't believe you decided to
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  leave without talking to me. What then?
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  Boundaries make you strong. Y'all and boundaries are for
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  you. Boundaries are not for you to
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  control a narcissistic person. Boundaries are Boundaries are
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  for you to protect yourself. Boundaries are the fence that
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  you put around yourself to protect yourself.
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  You decide what behaviors that you're willing to tolerate and
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  open the gate for. Narcissists don't care about the
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  gate. They try to jump over the fence.
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  They see the gate, they see the boundaries.
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  They see the boundaries that you have set and they want to jump
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  over. They want to jump the fence.
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  Habitual fence jumpers, they see the line that you set.
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  Habitual line sipper. They want to cross the line or
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  tip toe the line and whatnot. They don't expect that.
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  Yeah, they don't expect you to be able to go no contact and
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  stay no contact. They expect you to crack and be
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  able to and want to reach out to them.
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  When you get bored, when you're lonely, when you're sad, when
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  you're dealing with the trauma bond.
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  They don't expect you to be strong enough to break the damn
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  trauma bond. You know, they don't expect that
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  at all from you. They expect you to take it and
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  give in because they want to convince you that they are the
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  best you're going to get, right. They are the app.
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  They want you to feel like you. They are the best you're ever
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  going to get, right? That's how they want to make you
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  feel. That's literally they want to
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  make you feel like your life is meaningless without them.
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  They want to make you feel like you have no choice but to give
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  in to whatever they say and do. They can run over top of you.
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  They can treat you any type of way.
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  Then you always pick the phone up.
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  Everybody gets so damn shocked when you don't pick the phone
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  up. When you go, no contact.
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  When they try to call you, they're like Doo Doo Doo, we're
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  sorry. The number you're trying to
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  reach is no longer in service, has been disconnected.
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  What? I can't believe you blocked me.
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  They get mad as hell when the messages turn green on the
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  iPhone. Oh, you blocked me.
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  Wow. Can't believe you did that.
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  I can't believe you did that. They can't.
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  Because they can't believe it. They don't expect that strength
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  from you. And the craziest thing about it
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  is this is going to sound. This is going to sound ass
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  backwards. Already know it.
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  They might have fell in love with the fact that you were a
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  strong person at first. The strength of you, the
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  strength from you is what can what the strength of you.
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  The strength from you is what actually connected with this
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  with you. You see what I'm saying?
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  That's the that's the strength they they draw you.
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  The strength you had at the beginning is what might have
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  been and actually attracted them to you, is what I'm saying.
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  But like I said in a few other videos, the same thing that a
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  narcissist love about you, they will turn around and hate you
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  for the exact same thing. They hate the strength now with
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  their strength makes them your strength, makes them feel
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  insecure, makes them feel like they're not enough.
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  So they need to strip you of your strength.
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  That's why they they feel like they successfully stripped you
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  of your strength. They don't expect you to be to
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  go no contact and to stop responding to them.
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  They don't expect you to keep the they don't expect you to
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  have the strength to keep the conversation, the conversation
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  about the kids. They want you to send this long
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  paragraph of BS about y'all relationship.
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  Hey, y'all should be together and you just respond to the part
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  about the kids. Congrats to you.
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  They don't expect that from you. They expect you to breathe,
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  breathe the whole thing and reconsider getting back with
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  them even though they left you for somebody else.
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  You know, they treated you horribly, even though
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  embarrassed you in front of your friends and family, even though
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  they made you feel like they made you feel like you wasted so
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  much time in your life, they expect you to turn the roll over
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  and take it. Yeah, this is part of the
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  process. They don't ever think you're
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  going to leave them alone. And some of, yeah, some of them
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  might be bold enough to tell you that we're always going to meet
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  each other's lives. I'm never going to be.
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  I'm never going to leave you alone.
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  Nobody's ever going to have you again.
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  Even if they've had other people, even if they left you
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  and cheated on you, hurt you or beat on you, they don't think
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  you. They they, they, they.
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  Never mind. They're not going to allow you
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  to. They're not going to allow you
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  to move on. They're not going to allow you
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  to have the satisfaction of having somebody else or being
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  happy alone. They're not going to allow it.
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  Allow it. Leave hell.
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  I'm a grown person. Yes, you are absolutely a grown
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  person. Well, so it's up to you to
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  empower yourself in order to keep moving forward and to have
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  that strength and that dynamic and that process in order to
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  just power up. Y'all, love empowering people.
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  That's my thing. That's why I tell people like I
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  every Monday, I have motivation. I have a series on my YouTube
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  channel called Motivation Monday.
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  It's just to motivate people to get you to get your your, your
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  blood pumping. You know what I mean?
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  That's what it's for. Because I want to help people
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  heal. I want to help people grow.
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  I want to help people thrive. And you, you are a thriver.
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  Just when you hear y'all y'all, you listen to this for a reason.
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  They don't expect you to listen to this.
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  They expect you to only listen to syndicated stuff from them.
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  You know, they they are your syndication.
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  You know what I mean? They they the darcissist wants
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  to be the F the FCC in your life, the Federal Communication
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  Commission. That isn't what it means.
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  They want to commute. They want to control your
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  insurance and outs your communication.
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  They want to control all of that.
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  So it's up to you. You know, it sounds, it doesn't
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  sound fair out of time and tell people it is.
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  But it's up to you to have that strength.
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  It's up to you to work on setting boundaries.
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  It's up to you to work on being as strong as you possibly can.
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  You know what I mean? It's up to you.
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  Doesn't seem fair. But hey, you, you, you, we in
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  it, you in it, you can get out of it.
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  When I say get out of it, I don't always mean leave the
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  relationship. You can get out of letting this
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  person control every single aspect of your life.
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  If you if you so decide to leave, that's your choice.
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  You have the choice. You can make that choice, you
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  see. If you so decide to leave, you
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  can make that choice in order to keep moving forward.
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  You can make that choice in order to choose to leave or to
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  stay. That becomes your choice.
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  You have the choice. You can make that choice.
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  You can choose, and you can win. But what believe How do I win?
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  If you want to learn how to win, you have to answer the question
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  for you, What does winning mean to you?
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  What does winning look like to you?
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  Because winning to some people is just setting their boundary.
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  Winning to others others. Winning to others is leaving the
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  whole relationship as a whole. So what does winning look like
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  to you? Little victories.
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  Big victories determine define what winning is to you.
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  Because everybody might have a different definition of winning.
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  Like, seriously, that's me. Keeping it high hydrated, like a
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  Little Caesar's pizza, right? Yeah, that's the point.
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  Y'all. So if y'all haven't already,
• 10:47
  make sure you subscribe to the e-mail list newsletter because
• 10:49
  it's on and popping every single day.
• 10:51
  From this point forward, Be safe.
• 10:53
  Take care of yourself. Make sure you subscribe to this
• 10:55
  channel. If you're listening to this on
• 10:56
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• 10:58
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• 10:59
  I appreciate y'all so damn much. Met the Hill.
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  This is out peace. Thank you so much for making it
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  to the end of my video. You are a mental illness
• 11:09
  Rockstar and I appreciate you for being here.
• 11:11
  If you haven't already, make sure to click on the screen to
• 11:13
  subscribe to the channel and watch another one of my videos
• 11:15
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• 11:18
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• 11:20
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• 11:23
  out. Thank you.
• 11:24
  I will see you in the next video.
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  Peace.