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Transcript

Happy Hour #237: SMNTY Has An Existential Crisis? · Stuff Mom Never Told You

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: And Samantha.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: And welcome to Stuff I've Never Told You, a production
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: of iHeartRadio.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: And welcome to another edition of Happy Hour, or I'm
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: going to call this... You got your wine, right? Yes.
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: F * * * ing wine session. It has come
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: to that. Before we start, Annie, I think I already
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: gave it away. What are you sipping on? Yes.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: Well, we have a lot going on, listeners, so we're
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: recording a lot at once. So we recorded my happy
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: hour from the week previously and this same day, so
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: I'm still sitting on the same rosé.
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: The rosé.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: And I am sipping on my water because, like I said,
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: we are trying to get through things, try to stay afloat,
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: try to teach Zumba class, stay hydrated. That is the key.
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: And by the way, Ernie, did you know, as our voyage,
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: if you listeners did not know about, is coming up, yes,
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: we have a voyage with Virgin Voyages with amazing opportunity
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: to come with us for Stuff at Sea, which is
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: a five-night adults-only sailing that involves us from the Stuff crew.
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: So we have Stuff you should know, stuff they don't
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: want you to know, and us. Stuff Mom Never Told
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: You coming through doing a show, essentially, where we are
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: pretty much doing a podcast. So you get to sit
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: and interact with us and see what it's like, kind of,
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: in our podcasting process, specifically recording. So if you are interested,
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: you should definitely go check out virginvoyages.com slash stuff. It
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: is from October 2nd through the 7th of 2026. So
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: it's coming up. Yes. Very soon. Very, very, very, very soon.
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: So go check it out right now. Because one of
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: the things they offer are fitness classes. And I think
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: some of them are Zumba classes. So I'm kind of
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: excited about doing this.
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: So many things you can do. So many activities. Yes.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: And we're going to be out and about.
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: Oh, we're going to be out and about. And we
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: might have a live session slash you hang out with
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: us at the bar and we're going to have a
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: bitch and wine there. We can hear about your stuff
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: that you're concerned about and thinking through. Because I'm thinking
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: through some stuff. So today I wanted to, like, I
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: feel like, and I don't know if it's because it's
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: the time of year where things are, again, piling up
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: on us. It is slowly getting darker. Daylight savings time.
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: I don't know what's happening with that. laws here in Georgia.
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: I'm just going to hold my breath and pretend like
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: it's not happening. As well as the fact that the
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: holidays are approaching. I know it was a little too
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: soon for me to get into my holiday stupor, but
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: all that to say is I feel like people are
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: getting a little grumpier. That includes me. But I think
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: people are getting a little grumpier, a little testier. I
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: also see good people, don't get me wrong. But there
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: are moments where I feel like it's one of those
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: You know, when you all are family and you're around
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: each other for so long and it just feels like
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: everybody's a little on edge and misinterpreting things. Mm-hmm. That's
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: what it feels like right now. And I don't know
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: if it's just because, like, in our household there's a
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: lot changing or we're preparing for things. There's a lot
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: of sadness happening we've had. There's a lot of, like,
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: sad deaths. I've had personal deaths, like, coming through in
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: our family, as well as, like, the loss of some
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: people or, you know, even pets that are close to us. Like,
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: so many things are happening. So it just feels a
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: little less happy. I don't know how else to put it. Like,
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: nothing's been great. But there are moments where it feels okay.
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: And I say, like, I've talked about previously, you know,
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: in a previous episode of Happy Hour, I was like,
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: how are you? Where are you? Like, let's talk about
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: what we can do to find the joy. And I
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: think it's kind of coming into this place of like,
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: I need to find something. And the things that I
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: have are not completely working. So that's kind of like,
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: it's like, you know, I've already told you, I love
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: these new ASMR train videos to the point that we've
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: tried to like infiltrate my families, like my partner's families
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: and talking to them about maybe we should go on
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: a trip. But then I start looking at price tags
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: and I'm like, my God, That's like $ 2, 000. And that
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: doesn't include if we're flying somewhere to get to there. Right.
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: And then if we have hotels that you have to
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: stay in because they're not overnight, you know, like stuff
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: like that. And it's just like, it feels so bad.
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: But also, things are bad. Like we have seen so
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: many power outages that my partner and I have talked about, okay,
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: we need to prepare. Doing things that I would have
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: never thought I would want to do as a humanitarian
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: that like I hate. But at the same time, maybe
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: I should be prepared. I'm talking about going to a gun,
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: like a shooting range. I hate guns with a passion
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: and I don't want them in my house. At the
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: same time, there's this preparedness level of like, I feel
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: like at the very least, I need to know how
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: to handle one safely. And that's so gross to me.
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: Like that feels like I'm giving up on my humanity
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: and it makes me a little more grumpy. So, And
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: like having these things in my head and like being
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: able to figure it out, I'm like, I'm trying to, what, why?
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: Is it something because, and this could be, as you know,
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: in my own self, I do get hyper fixated on
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: something very like, I can do this. And then I
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: quit immediately. Because it's not as fun anymore. Or it
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: doesn't give me that same satisfaction. And I feel like
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: that's where I'm getting. And I don't know, have I
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: gone through all the possible joys and the, like, niche things.
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: I know that's not true. But at the same time,
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: it feels like I've started to slowly run out of things, Annie.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: Mm-hmm.
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: Have you felt that way? No. Full stop. No. No.
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: End of episode.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: But I think I understand what you're saying. I do
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: think I have felt something very similar, wherein something that
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: brings me joy, enjoying it brings me guilt. Because I
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: feel like I should be doing X, Y, Z. And X, Y, Z,
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: by the way, doesn't have to be like, go to
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: a protest, go do... It could be you really need
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: to clean this one part of your apartment. You haven't
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: done it. So... I find that I have an endless
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: amount of fan fiction and video games. So I haven't
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: run out of that and they still bring me joy.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: Although often they do upset me so hard. You know.
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: I do know.
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: I just send you these texts. But for some reason
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: that's something cathartic to me. I'm not sure why. So
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: I'm not worried about running out. I think you and
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: I have kind of a different Because you do try, like,
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: a bunch of things and then kind of, like, that
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: didn't work. Which I don't think is a bad thing, necessarily.
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: Where I'm, like, locked in.
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Until it, like, severely disappoints you. Yeah. Your reason
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: for quitting is not necessarily because you don't like it,
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: but because something has happened that's disrupted your ability to
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: love it. Yeah. And maybe that's the other part, is, like,
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: you're content... An absolute heart wreck.
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: Absolute. I haven't told you this, but last night after
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: we hung out and had dinner, I went back with
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: my friend. And before she left, I said, can I
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: just play this song for you and tell you why
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: it upsets me so much? And she was like, yes,
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: you can. And that's what I did. And I started crying.
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: And it was a wonderful night.
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: I had a great time.
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: And you were happy with that. Literally one of your
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: birthday parties was like soup and sadness.
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: Sad soup weekend, yeah.
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: You were like, I need this. I need to be
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: able to cry through this. And I'm like, okay, we
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: can do that. Happy birthday. Happy sad birthday. And for me,
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: I absolutely have tried to avoid that. That to me
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: puts me in such a funk that I feel like
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: I can't pick myself up. literally physically off the couch.
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: Like I just don't want to go out there, which
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: is good news. I teach and I have to go.
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: So that's, you know, that's a good part for me.
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: And I do love all of that. But like I've
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: talked about previously, like as much as I love the
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: dance and Zumba, you know, when it becomes a little
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: bit more of work, you kind of have a little
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: more dread in that. And for me, it's not just
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: that because once I'm there, I'm so excited. But at
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: the same time, me, putting myself out there by creating
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: new numbers feels like a rejection in my head. If
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: they don't immediately tell me how much they like it,
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: then they hate it. And that immediately sits in my
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: head and my heart, as well as the fact that
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: I haven't got more than 20 people in my class.
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: Oftentimes it's like maybe 10 or 12 and it could
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: be the hours. It's because I don't do a lot
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: of social media because I hate it. I don't necessarily
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: feel that like I don't advertise myself well. I try,
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: but like it's a little difficult for me outside of
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: doing this when we have to advertise for ourselves, you know,
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: like so stuff like that can start weighing. And I'm like,
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: am I doing this wrong? Am I doing this bad?
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: Are people judging me? there's some people who gets asked
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: to do help. And here's that part to me is like,
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: I am the irony of like, don't ask me to
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: help you. But it also hurts my feelings because you
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: didn't ask me to help you.
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I know what you mean.
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: It's that same level of like, don't expect me to
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: come out with you, but it does hurt my feelings
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: if you stop asking me to come out with you.
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah. You want people to still think of you? Yeah. No,
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: I understand.
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: I absolutely understand why you do stop asking me. After
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: so many no's, you're like, I already know she's not coming.
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: What's the point? But it does hurt my feelings when
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: I see the pictures of y'all going out. Right.
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: You didn't want to be there, but you would have
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: liked to have been asked.
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, which is absolutely a selfish, selfish thing. And I've
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: never gotten mad at anybody who's not asked me because
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: it's like, it's on me. This is definitely my fault.
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: Or they know me well, essentially. But all I say
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: is like, it's kind of that same level with me
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: in this industry feeling like, oh, if I'm not getting
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: the collaborations, people don't want to work with me, then
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: I'm not good at it. So like, even the things
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: that I have now, that I now love, because I've
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: become at the front of it a little bit. Now
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: I feel even more, not more, but I feel the
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: anxiety of like, oh, no, which could be absolutely my
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: personality disorder rather than like, how it is, absolutely. Because
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: everybody else should be okay. Because it's true. Like, I
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: I have said, and I'm not deflecting, where I'm like,
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: you know, I have a few instructors who are huge.
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: They have like 50 people in their class all the time.
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: People follow them about, will pay the like memberships to
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: get to you, like all those things. And when they
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: changed around, they're like, oh, I miss this. I miss
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: this crowd because they had to like change their schedule
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: or to go to different places, wherever, whatnot. But like
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: in my head, I was like, yeah, I would like that.
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: But at the same time, that type of responsibility means
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: I'm going to get more complaints. I'm going to have
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: more expectations. People are going to think that, you know,
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: all these things. And I don't want that either. Like
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: I want that because it does feel like it's a
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: marker of success.
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: And also like my abilities. But at the same time,
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: I don't want that because the level of responsibility there
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: is like if I have a small crew, I know you,
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: I don't have to worry because I know you personally
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: as much about what's going to, you know, be the
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: next round or whatnot. But all of that to say
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: is it feels like the things that I love, are
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: not bringing me the fulfillment that I had originally hoped for.
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: And again, I don't know, it could be just the
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: state I am. It could be the many, many other things,
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: or it could be the seasons coming through and it
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: just hit me early. Who knows? But it's really like,
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: I've gotten to the point that instead of being excited,
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: I'm either anxious or dreading things. And for me, like
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: picking up new hobbies means more money. Yeah. And I
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: don't want to do that either. Because I'm like, if
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: we got to make an escape plan.
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean, we've got to think about these things. Unfortunately, I,
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: I will say I very much relate to the things
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: that I, I would hope bring me excitement are currently
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: bringing me dread and stress. And that's partly on me.
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: Cause I, I made it work or I, like I
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: made it a thing that I now have to do,
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: whereas it used to just be something I participated in.
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: Exactly.
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: The responsibility. But yes, I relate to that a lot.
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: Just trying to find that balance. There's a lot of
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: things that I'm trying to figure out. Is it me
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: just being grumpy? And I feel like I'm not the
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: only one that's attitude has shifted or the stress has
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: shifted our attitude. And so I was just like, is
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: it the timing? Is it, the world? Is it because
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: all the things that we like is getting more and
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: more expensive because corporations have ruined things? I mean, it
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: just feels different.
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: It feels harder to enjoy something without thinking about it now.
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: Whether it is the cost, whether it is the, like,
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: I don't know, ramifications of the company involved, whatever. It
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: feels more difficult to just enjoy something. These days, I
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: would agree.
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: Even eating a salad. I, no joke. I know this
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: sounds so pretentious. Maybe people won't believe me. I love salad. Yeah.
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: Actually love salad and have missed it greatly and i
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: was trying to work on eating healthy like having lunch
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: and eating healthier and a salad is that was one
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: of my favorite things now i i'm like i guess
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: i'll have this can of soup i don't know hopefully
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: that's not being recalled for something.
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: You never know no annie you know that some of
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: the soups have been recalled right oh.
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: God listen.
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: I'm not playing.
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: I believe you completely. That's the sad part. Because I
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: got rid of the frozen food. Oh, they were being recalled.
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: Guess I'll go to cans. Oh, no.
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: Everything's bad.
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: Everything's bad. No, everything's fine.
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: Everything is fine. Everything is fine, y'all. We're fine. I
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: think as long as we can confront it and have
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: a conversation about it, that's the biggest for me is,
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: The recent s * * * and wine is as is.
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: In my head, I'm like, okay, I know I can't
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: be the only one feeling this. And the more I'm
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: in my head, the more anxious I grow in thinking
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: that I'm not okay or this is beyond the scope
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: of what it should be. So I know many people
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: probably understand this too and would love to hear from you.
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: And how are you handling it? Are you handling it?
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: How?
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: Yes. So how? How? Yeah.
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: We would love to hear from you listeners. We always
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: love hearing about your hobbies. Yes. And stuff that you're
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: doing to combat all of this dread and stress that
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: I think a lot of us are feeling. You can
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: email us at hello at stuffonevertoldyou.com. You can find us
• 17:18
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• 17:21
  Speaker 1: and TikTok at stuffonevertoldyou. We're also on YouTube. We have
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: some merchandise at Cotton Bureau and we have a book.
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: You can get wherever you get your books. Thanks, as always,
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: to our super producer, Rima, and our executive producer, Maya.
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: And thanks to you for listening. Stuff I Never Told
• 17:35
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• 17:37
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• 17:39
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