Latest / The Radio From Hell Show - Best Of / Things That Must Go September 9th, 2026

Transcript

Things That Must Go September 9th, 2026 · The Radio From Hell Show - Best Of

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Things that must go on the radio.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: From Hell Show.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: These are things that you don't like. Things that you loathe,
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: that they just have to go. They must go from
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: your life. So you say, I know what I'll do.
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: It'll make me feel better if I just put it
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: down on an email, write it down, and then send
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: it to RadioFromHellX96. com. Must go on the subject line. Maybe
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: they'll read it on the air. It'll make me feel
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: a little better. People will agree with me, and maybe
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: these things will automatically or magically disappear from my life.
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: I'll go first today. Let's see.
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: I have two of my own. First of all is
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: when you chew gum, I've been chewing gum lately. or
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: sometimes it happens with other substances that you're chewing or eating,
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: and you happen to bite the inside of your lip
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: accidentally or the inside of your gum accidentally.
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: I hate that.
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: And then you continue, because it's slightly raised, to hit
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: it over and over again. Jeez.
• 1:05
  Speaker 4: And then it won't heal.
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: That must go. And then you've got a bump.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: And then the other personal thing that must go is
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: having the bathrooms that are closest to our studio locked.
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah. The ones that are closest to our studio, we're
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: not allowed to use.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: So there you go. This one says, August 31st show.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: Gina and Bill said that they don't like to get receipts,
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: but you can make money with them on the Fetch app.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: You just take a photo of the receipt from anywhere,
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: and you get an automatic 25 points. The more points
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: for junk they want you to buy, and then you
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: turn in your points for credit to use for what
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: you want. I've never heard of this, but I'll check
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: it out. I use mine for Amazon credit, but you
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: can do it for other places, too. And the other
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: must-go is toilet paper holders at businesses that are so enclosed,
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: you can't get at it. And it's always invariably so
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: tight on the roll, you can only get snippets at
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: a time with your fingernails, and most of it ends
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: up on the floor, making more of a mess for
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: the custodian to take care of. And it's wasteful, not
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: to mention, it's just aggravating. Please ditch the enclosed boxes
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: requiring the jaws of life to open already.
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: Thank you, lords.
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: This one says, dear lords, the Renaming of geographical places
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: is hard enough to learn your geography without the names
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: changing all the time. And employees forcing their help upon
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: me at the self-checkout. And then finally, Bill saying Ray
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: Seahorn's name wrong must go.
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: It's Ray.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: Now, I think I did say it wrong. I did,
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: but I think I've self-corrected at some point. But if
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: I haven't, thanks for pointing it out. I can't stress
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: enough how much I don't really care about this, but
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: Bill is kind of a stickler for getting things like
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: this right.
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: Here I am.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: So Rhea must go. It's a mnemonic for this. A
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: mnemonic for this is no sane parent would name their
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: kids a name that rhymes with diarrhea. And then he
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: wanted you to play some poop drops.
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: All right, Kerri.
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: Let's see. I got a couple myself. Let's see. The notepads,
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: you know, because I steal pens and notepads from hotels
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: and businesses and things like that.
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: You liberate them.
• 3:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: Notepads from businesses that have a design or background that's
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: too dark to see what you've written, so you have
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: to write around the design.
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's no good.
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: Lighten that up a little bit, would you? Another thing
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: that must go is.
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: Now, I buy.
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: Jams and jellies by a company called Bon Maman.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: Now, you've seen these.
• 3:42
  Speaker 4: Yeah, sure.
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: These are the wider jars, and they got that, you know,
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: checkered lid.
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: And they have all kinds of flavors, and they're very
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: good because they use very few ingredients. It's just, you know, very,
• 3:56
  Speaker 3: very simple.
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: It's fruit.
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah. And, boy, good luck trying to find grape.
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: Really?
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: They've got some of the strangest combinations that are available, but... Boy,
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: you just want grape? Good luck finding it. Get yourself
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: some Welch's, Carrie.
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: No, no, no.
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: Look at the ingredients on the Welch's and the Smucker's.
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: There's plenty of grape jelly down there.
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: But with a name like Smucker's, it has to be good.
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: Anyway, let's see this one from Nick in southern Indiana.
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: Things the bus go. The squirrel that attacked my shampoo
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: ginger plant.
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: What?
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: Squash vine borers, squash beetles, and all the other bugs
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: that keep destroying my garden. We live in the monarch
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: butterfly migration path, so we avoid any pesticides. But come on, man.
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: We're voting to renew a referendum to fund our school
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: system here. And all of the retirees and ignorant mother
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: huggers that are voting no because, quote, I ain't got
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: no kids in school no more. Must go.
• 5:02
  Speaker 4: We all benefit from well-educated populace.
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: Presidential confabulation must go. Every day is like reliving the
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: final months of my mother's life, except my poor, demented
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: mother didn't have the nuclear codes. Please make it stop.
• 5:19
  Speaker 3: This one from Tony. Having to sing Oops, I Did
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: It Again while doing the Running Man dance as a dare.
• 5:28
  Speaker 4: Oh.
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: A dare while playing a lame, sober version of King's
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: Cup at a Labor Day barbecue party. Now this one's
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: an odd one. The middle school teacher stopping our makeout
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: session in the hot tub because she got paranoid after
• 5:44
  Speaker 3: she farted. What? Even after I told her not to
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: worry because the water bubbles hid it.
• 5:50
  Speaker 4: Jeez.
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: I know. Yeah. I don't know.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Uh.
• 5:56
  Speaker 3: Parents who took their toddler children to go see Buddy,
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: not knowing it's a horror film. The trailer at the
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: end says, rated R, graphic violence and gore. These parents
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: need to listen to Sean Means for the review segments
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: or visit moviecricket.net. And let's see. Oh, here's one. Tony,
• 6:15
  Speaker 3: the USA being the sole vote against promoting map projections
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: that more accurately reflect the true size of the continents
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: of the United Nations General Assembly. And finally this. Hot tubs,
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: hot tubs, hot tubs. Stop yelling. Why is he yelling?
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: My thing that must go? All of the things. I'm tired.
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: Just tired. Everything must go so I can sleep until
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: I'm no longer tired. Thanks for letting me listen.
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: All right.
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: Gina?
• 6:49
  Speaker 4: First one from me. If you could put that picture up,
• 6:52
  Speaker 4: that would be great. My thing that must go is
• 6:56
  Speaker 4: Sending your sailor a 4th of July gift package, and
• 7:02
  Speaker 4: it arrives on September 8th. Festus finally got my 4th
• 7:06
  Speaker 4: of July.
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: Oh, my hell.
• 7:08
  Speaker 4: I went to Trader Joe's, because Trader Joe's had a
• 7:10
  Speaker 4: bunch of, like, 4th of July-themed treats.
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 7:13
  Speaker 4: And so I mailed these back in June.
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: He just got it yesterday. You know what I take
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: from that photo?
• 7:21
  Speaker 4: What?
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: The mustache is back. Oh, God.
• 7:26
  Speaker 4: But he finally got his package. And he'll be home
• 7:28
  Speaker 4: on the 20th, hopefully. Really?
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 7:31
  Speaker 4: I mean, he's scheduled to be.
• 7:33
  Speaker 3: Just visiting? No, no.
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: Well, if that schedule goes anything like the package.
• 7:37
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I know, right?
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly. I mean, not done, done, but done until
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: his next duty.
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: Done on the island.
• 7:43
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Let's see this from Emily. My thing that must
• 7:45
  Speaker 4: go is motion sensor paper towel dispensers in public bathrooms
• 7:50
  Speaker 4: that don't dispense a proper amount of paper towels. Five
• 7:53
  Speaker 4: inches of paper towel won't dry my hands. And then
• 7:55
  Speaker 4: to make matters worse, they won't give you a second towel,
• 7:59
  Speaker 4: even if you keep waving in front of the thing.
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: Let's see.
• 8:02
  Speaker 4: Having to buy a palette of seven eyeshadow colors when
• 8:05
  Speaker 4: I only want one of those colors.
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: This is a big problem.
• 8:08
  Speaker 4: I don't want all of those. I just want this one.
• 8:11
  Speaker 4: Having to listen to people. Don't bore the S out
• 8:14
  Speaker 4: of everyone you've just met by talking about your divorce.
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: Nobody cares.
• 8:20
  Speaker 4: And finally this. Scott in Kaysville. I couldn't agree with
• 8:24
  Speaker 4: you more. Anything adjacent to a maple bar that takes
• 8:28
  Speaker 4: on the maple taste must go. I don't have a
• 8:33
  Speaker 4: problem with the maple bar if it can exist in
• 8:35
  Speaker 4: a box of donuts and doesn't make everything around it
• 8:38
  Speaker 4: taste like maple.
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: No. things that must go on the radio from hell
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: show