Latest / The Rooted Family / Ep 9 | Why Sabbath Feels Impossible with Kids (But Isn’t)
Transcript
- Christian Cornish: Hello everyone, welcome to the Rooted Family Podcast. Hey everyone. We are so glad that you are here today because this episode about the Sabbath. And if you've ever thought that Sabbath sounds amazing, but my kids would never let that happen, we definitely need to talk. Yes, we do. Yes. ⁓ this is episode nine and it's Sabbath with little kids, how to rest when life still feels loud. Yeah, because like our life. is very loud, most of the time. you're new to the podcast, we have seven young children, ages 12 all the way down to one. And I've learned anything about being a parent, it's that you can't control people. That's I have been more humbled. ⁓ about that in my life as a parent Like when the two-year-old is screaming at six in the morning because she doesn't want to go back to bed. And you just try to put her back in her bed. But she's still screaming. Yeah, that's not working out. And waking up all three of her brothers. And the whole at the same Can you tell this happens a lot? Especially like ⁓ Sabbath not immune these things. we think we're going to go into Sabbath and it's going to be like this. know, heaven opens up and ⁓ the are singing and it's going to be this like peaceful, beautiful ⁓ day. Maybe is for like retired empty nesters. It's like quiet still. But when have small children, that is not the reality. And we can't make that the expectation because if we do, ⁓ we're just going to be sorely disappointed. Yeah, I can relate to this. I actually felt this today. I was trying to have my quiet time and said two year old down the stairs. And I was like, no, right in the middle of reading. I do not ⁓ want be interrupted at all. I do not want to take you back upstairs right now. I do not want to do this. But I had to stop myself because I'm like, OK, she's two. I literally can't control her. I can't control this happen. It is what it is. Obviously we believe in discipline and, you know, teaching our children the way to go. we do help our kids to stay in bed longer on Sabbath. But it is true, like, especially with our strong-willed kids, you can't control them. No. And Sabbath isn't about controlling your environment. It's about surrendering your heart. you can ⁓ have a surrendered heart with a loud house. Yes, totally. I think that if we wait until house is quiet, especially as parents of children of any age, ⁓ you we're going to be waiting to Sabbath for a very long time. And so do think that it's important that we almost reframe Sabbath. And ⁓ before we into today's episode, I just want to encourage you to go on the Apple ⁓ Podcast app. Well, you're already on the app, but scroll down You'll see it where it says like, you can choose five stars or you can leave an actual review. ⁓ If you're on Spotify, you can leave comments on the episode. And we would be so grateful if you just took 30 seconds to just ⁓ rate and review this podcast. ⁓ truly does help us more you know, ⁓ to reach more families. And that's heart. We really want to help as many families as possible. ⁓ to slow down, go deeper with the Lord, and truly just be more intentional in their family. because we're talking about kids on the Sabbath today, ⁓ we thought it would be so special to have one of own kids share a little bit about her own experience on the Sabbath and what the Sabbath means to ⁓ And so we wanna welcome our sweet Ella on the podcast today. is 10, And she has really Sabbath most of her life. Like, do you remember a time that you didn't Sabbath? No, not really. So Sabbath really has become most of your childhood or most of your life. Mm hmm. Been a part of you. Do you think Like when you move out someday, do you think you'll still Sabbath? Probably. Yeah. So what are some of your most favorite parts about Sabbath? It's really quiet. We do a lot of games and us girls can stay up late and watch our show. You like watching the shows with mama and Azalea? Yeah. So puzzles, you like playing games on the Sabbath. else do you like to do on the Sabbath? Sometimes we go to the hot springs. ⁓ ⁓ sometimes we are Like going to see friends for dinner or a game night or something like that. Yeah, game nights special because it's like time for all of us as a family together and just focus on each other, Yeah so if you could like describe in one two words? Well, what words would you use? It's peaceful. It's fun I like that. Peaceful and it's fun. And you definitely care a lot about having fun. Like Ella is the one that if like we don't go do a fun activity on the Sabbath, she's like, why are we staying home? Let's go do something. So, Ella, What are some ways that parents could enjoy the Sabbath with their young children? You could take them to like something fun and you know you'd think they'd like or you could do board games. We a lot of board games. We have a whole game closet. So yeah. What are some of your favorite games? I like Camel's Up and Splendor. And I like, ⁓ that game? Rummy Cube? Yeah, I ⁓ Rummy Cube and that bird game. ⁓ Wingspan. Yeah, Wingspan. That's really fun. What do think our life would be like, Ella, if we didn't have the Sabbath? We probably do like a lot more things, ⁓ like not home ⁓ and resting. ⁓ and we might like you and dad might work days on that day, you know, it wouldn't be a day off. So we'd be working a lot more. Yeah. do you like that we get to have some rest time together as a family? Yeah. That's awesome. Well, thanks for being on the podcast, Ella. You're welcome. So fun to have you. And I love that you shared about how peaceful Sabbath is because I really do feel like that's how Sabbath is described. Mm-hmm is peaceful Well, thank you, Ella. We love that you came on and thank you for everything you shared. you did a great job. ⁓ And I hope that this helps everyone to see that your are not an interruption to Sabbath. ⁓ Actually, they're a part of it. And the moment you don't them a part of it ⁓ when I think it all falls apart and ⁓ it just... becomes not fun anymore and feels like chaos to you as the parent or as the adult. Almost like it feels frustrating. Yes. When you're trying to make Sabbath about yourself or if you're trying to make Sabbath just like you and your spouse's time and then you feel like your kids are like the tag along. Now it's no longer ⁓ enjoyable. Yeah. Because just frustrating. It is. I think that's really true. So ⁓ Sabbath isn't about being calm and perfect, though. Yeah, because ⁓ Sabbath in a family is silent. It's That's really the point ⁓ that we're hoping to make today is that don't have to wait until your kids are grown, the house is quiet. I think in our minds we think Sabbath has to be this like perfect quiet experience. ⁓ But really what we have tried to do our family is really be intentional with the Sabbath, just like any other rhythm. in our life, we have taken each rhythm and really designed it to be something that is fruitful and transforming for the family. you can go back to the last episode where we talked about the vision for Sabbath and ⁓ really us painting that picture of Sabbath looks like in our family. But we did talk a little bit about what the Bible talks about when it comes to Sabbath. ⁓ But Christian, would you quickly go over, biblically speaking, what makes the Sabbath important as modern day believers. Yeah, we have a few principles that we teach that we've really come to after studying the scriptures. And a few of those would be that Sabbath is a 24 hour period of rest that is really time set aside. to not be working, to be about who you are in Christ, and ⁓ it's not about you are because of what you do. And where the world us by what we do, and it says whether you're successful or whether you're a good person based on how much you do or what you accomplish, but we believe scripture tells that all people are made in the image of God, ⁓ and therefore you're valuable. And the Sabbath is a time to just rest in that. It's a time to trust in God. It's a time to trust that He is in control of all things and that He's still working when we're not working. this is a time where we let go of control. And especially here in America and Western countries, like we try to control ⁓ so ⁓ much. ⁓ try work. as much as we can to make as much money as we can to have all the security that we can create for ourselves. And the truth is it could all go away. Like it's kind of a fake security. It's about a time of having presence being together, putting away the distractions ⁓ and really ⁓ just focusing on really putting time and into what feel is most important. ⁓ And so ⁓ I would say like, yeah, there's a lot more we could talk about, but I think ⁓ we the Sabbath within that frame, and say, this is a gift that we have. ⁓ don't have to take advantage of it. This isn't a salvation issue. But you choose not to, we definitely believe that you're choosing not to participate in the abundant life that Jesus for you. Absolutely. Yeah, and Sabbath is, ⁓ it is something you do have to be intentional with, or it's not going to happen. ⁓ as modern day Christians, we live such a fast paced And more often than not, I'm seeing getting up in that. just because we love Jesus does not mean that immune to the chaos of a crazy busy life. ⁓ Actually, I almost find that Christians ⁓ can even be more busy than the average because ⁓ not are they doing all the other things that everyone else is doing, like their kids are in ⁓ activities sports and ⁓ they're to and doing the normal things, but Christians are also going to church on Sundays. So that's using another day of the week to do something. I almost see Christians running themselves to the ground, especially young who, ⁓ like we were so in that stage where we were young and were involved in many things in church, worship team, leading a small eventually, know, moving into. ⁓ leadership roles in the church and we are just taking on so much out of this desire to serve God and be godly parents. our lives were just so exhausting. And so if you're listening today, you're a young parent who has small children. I don't think there's enough voices in the world. encouraging you to say, know what, how about in this season, when you have young kids, how about you slow down, take a break, changing a million diapers in a week, that is enough work. Like with us, we have so many dishes to do I mean, just maintaining the house alone and discipling our kids in the home. doing our normal family rhythms, like that alone is enough. That is a lot of work. We don't need to be the superstars at church right now. We don't need to be breaking our back, taking our kids to a million activities. if you are doing all these things, then you absolutely need the Sabbath. It's a non-negotiable. Yeah, we definitely encourage you to be a part of your church community. Absolutely. To serve where you feel led to. think two things that we don't do enough as church and I say we because we have at one point probably been guilty of this, is getting people in to serve and thinking, ⁓ I have all these roles to fill. ⁓ rather than finding the right role for the right people at that time of their life and being okay with that. know, ⁓ might have to take your own responsibility to say, how do I be a part of my church community within the capacity that I truly have? ⁓ being honest about that. And being honest about it. And... then there's a responsibility that we have as a community also to encourage rest. And I think that's why we're doing this here, right? There's not enough voices out there encouraging people to spend time with the Lord, to spend time with their family, the people that they're actually first and foremost, most responsible for discipling. Because sometimes you can get, I mean, I've seen it over and over again. I've seen great people at discipling. but they're not actually doing a great job discipling their kids. They're discipling other people it's harder to disciple your family. ⁓ It's harder to invest your family. Truly. ⁓ it takes more energy. It takes patience. ⁓ It takes more consistency. ⁓ And yeah, I'm not saying should just, you have to disciple on the Sabbath, but just participating in the Sabbath. and taking it seriously is discipleship in itself, is setting an example. Well, and your kids, are participating in the Sabbath with you. So they are observing. how you and I are resting in the Lord. And they are not only observing that, they are a part of that. And what I think I love most about Sabbath, is that we are teaching our children that it's okay to work hard and it's okay to rest hard and that both are holy. That's so good. I think too, we have definitely set aside some intentional moments on the Sabbath like our kickoff some of the things we'll talk about in the future too really ⁓ helps set the tone for the time and make special. And overall though, we want you to understand you don't need have a perfect day to experience a holy day. Yeah. ⁓ And holiness meaning like set apart, you know, like. holiness, sometimes we think in our mind, like it's like this day where we're on our knees all day and reading a Bible all day and worshiping. And I think we are worshiping absolutely in our hearts all day and spending time with God in different ways. But we need to, adjust the expectations and the perspective of what it means to have a holy set-apart day. ⁓ the Sabbath with little kids. Absolutely. ⁓ ⁓ give some practical anchors that we can hold on to ⁓ I think that that's really gonna help everybody understand going into practicing the Sabbath, especially if you're new to it or maybe you've tried it a few times and you're like, this just isn't working. And like what does this actually look like with little kids? You like not in theory, like here are some fun cute ideas, but like we are literally living this out. every single Saturday and we have for the last decade of out Sabbath with little kids. And so yeah, We're gonna give you five practical anchors today and I hope that these inspire you to try the Sabbath with your family this week. let's talk about the first one we want you to first lower the bar. Sabbath doesn't have to have this beautiful aesthetic and look to it let's admit we post Instagram. That like capture some moments of our day, but We're not doing that to. we want you to first lower the bar. Sabbath doesn't have to have this beautiful aesthetic and look to it let's admit we post Instagram. That like capture some moments of our day, but We're not doing that to. ⁓ have you copy our day copy someone else's day. We're trying to inspire you to the beauty that you can discover by taking your own Sabbath. Like what's possible. What's possible, that's a great way to put it. Absolutely, a lot of times we think, well, I can't do Sabbath in this season of my life. ⁓ I like the question, have you copy our day copy someone else's day. We're trying to inspire you to the beauty that you can discover by taking your own Sabbath. Like what's possible. What's possible, that's a great way to put it. Absolutely, I love that. Yeah, think a lot of times we think, well, I can't do Sabbath in this season of my life. I like the question, how can I make it possible in season of my life? How can I make Sabbath possible? So instead of like rejecting and saying, it's not for me right now, how can I make it possible? And I do, I love what you said, lowering the ⁓ bar, which I think means lowering your how can I make it possible in season of my life? How can I make Sabbath possible? So instead of like rejecting and saying, it's not for me right now, how can I make it possible? And I do, I love what you said, lowering the ⁓ bar, which I think means lowering your expectations. Yeah, because it's easy to get expectation of every Sabbath is adventurous ⁓ or ⁓ Every Sabbath has beautiful scenery. Or gourmet food on the table. Gourmet food. right. Sometimes it's like pizza ⁓ paper plates, ⁓ peanut butter and jelly because you don't want to make lunch. Yeah. And that's real life. I mean, if you don't have energy on Sabbath ⁓ any meal prep, simple is always better than trying to make it beautiful. Yeah. There's no one to impress. Yep. This doesn't have to go on Instagram. No. We post maybe 5 % of our Sabbath moments, not even, maybe 2 % on Instagram. Most of our Sabbath is lived behind closed doors, and it's something that we treasure as a family, but no one else is seeing it. Yeah. the Lord. That's true. And it just needs to be intentional. It's full of meaning and value because the value comes from us just being together and working through any messiness that happens and just finding opportunities to rejuvenate. an author talks about how Sabbath is a ⁓ cathedral, ⁓ a raised cathedral, it's sacred, ⁓ ⁓ And like when you're in ⁓ a cathedral and the gorgeous stained glass windows, the shining through, and it's just this awe ⁓ moment. ⁓ And that's what I think the feeling of Sabbath is like, it is what is God made Sabbath. Holy ⁓ He it apart. And it's not because, ⁓ you we've had sick kids on the Sabbath. We've had ⁓ so dirty diversity change on the Sabbath. We've had kids hurt themselves you're, putting bandages and you know, ⁓ so many with little kids that can happen. But Sabbath is the beautiful thing Not because of what we make it to be. already exists as holy. It already exists as beautiful. because God deemed it that way, not because of anything we curate or do on the Sabbath. Yeah, that's good. I think that's part of the trust and letting go of the control is just allowing the day to be set apart and special, like you said, because that's what it is. is absolutely a beauty and a power to that. ⁓ there is not an expectation. Yeah, it's something you can't really explain either, because I think when we look back over the years, we realize what a work. God has done in our hearts because we've honored the Sabbath and we've been faithful to it for so many years. But it's not just one particular Sabbath that transformed our life. It was the faithfulness to sticking with the practice over time that God did a work in our hearts And we can look back now and say, God has done something so beautiful in us ⁓ because we in him every single week for years. ⁓ But we get that from one Sabbath. Yeah, it's kind of like marathon training. You can't run out, which I've never done and I will never do. So I'm laughing because I remember the time when you and I trained for a half marathon. Half is the most you can get out of me. But you and I did the work like we tried, you know, for months to be a part of this race. And the morning of I think it was the morning over the night before my brother. Shout out to Jake, who we love dearly. He wakes up and he has this genius idea. He's like, I'm going to run. Oh, that poor guy. I'm gonna run the half marathon with you guys. And, you know, he did better than us. But he did not do better after. He was hurting. oh, he was cramped, like, to the mast. Like, he couldn't walk. Yeah. It was bad. So that's kind of like the idea. If you go all into Sabbath thinking, like, I'm gonna do this, like, we're gonna really do it. and it doesn't go the way you anticipated, or you haven't been training for years on this, it's literally the first time you and your family are trying Sabbath, and everything just goes haywire. Like, you can't expect you're gonna come out of that experience feeling super peaceful. No, and you probably won't because you're probably missing our second anchor, which is that prep is everything. Nice transition. Thank you. I've been working on my professional transitions. good. But it's really true though that prep is everything. And I do think that when we see people try to jump in and then they have a poor experience, it usually has a lot to do with the fact that they weren't ready. so what we mean by that is when you haven't prepared, like we talked about meal planning already, right, as a super important rhythm, if you don't have a rough meal plan, if you have not kind of cleaned up your house ahead of time, If you haven't talked about having some expectations with your children about what is the Sabbath and what is the stay gonna look like, it kinda just feels like chaos. I know on a regular weekday you walk around the house, cause you're home a lot, and you'll tell me, I am struggling to get my regular work done because the house is a disaster and I can't help but see it all the time. And it is so hard to let it go. Yeah, if you're like me, you get to Sabbath and if a house is not somewhat straightened up you have laundry put away or there's certain things sitting out that for it annoys me so bad that it would be hard for me to fully rest. And maybe that's ⁓ another layer that the Lord wants to continue working on me is learning how to rest even when all the things are still undone. ⁓ But I do think that for most of us, it does bring more peace to the Sabbath when we can get the clutter put away. At least get the clutter put away and the house is straightened up. like you said, it does take very specific prep to be able to enter into Sabbath without itch to keep working. Like you have to, like we, ⁓ let's real. Like if we are young families, we still have to. get groceries, we still have to plan our weeks, we still have housework like the that we have to do still have to get done. Like you and I don't neglect these things because we Sabbath, ⁓ we just have a on how we're gonna get things done around Sabbath. Yeah, because the reality is you're living in six days of the week. Yeah. If you think about it, most people are truly living within seven days of the week. Because we choose not to work on Saturday and to me cutting the grass would be work. So I have to do that on one of the other six days of the week. Okay. Can I just say if you consider cutting the grass to not be work and you're going to do that on your Sabbath, you're lying. Okay. You're lying. ⁓ No one actually feels that was the most restful moment of my day was cutting the lawn. ⁓ Now you might find joy in it, okay, but it's not restful. So just wanna throw that out there for any of guys or ladies that are listening and thinking, ⁓ I can still cut the grass on Saturday. No, no, no, no, no. There you go, agreed. But the point is you have to find, you have to really look at your life and say, hey, if I'm going to take a full 24 hour day of rest, like I don't wanna go to the store on that day. That's not restful. I don't want to cut the grass on that day. I don't want to miss an important deadline at work. Like some people, like in my life, I know so many people that work on the weekend because they're, are under deadlines or whatever else. But, know, when you say, Hey, ⁓ it, is my set up part time. It really does change how you look at the other six days of week. Yeah, it's so true. Yeah, I think that ⁓ come to love Sabbath so much because we have lived differently the rest of the six days of the week. And think whatever time you give an activity your activity will expand to fit that timeframe. if we say, I'm going to work seven days a week, all of your work is gonna expand and fill all seven days. but you and I have chosen to say, know what? Our working life is going to fit six days a week. And so we have learned how to make that expand and fit within six days. ⁓ it's almost like the concept of tithing. You know, when you give 10 % of your income to the church and you are still able to live off of the 90 % and God somehow makes it work to pay all your bills and to, you know, do all the things you're supposed to do. And you're like, this is so miraculous to live on 90 % or 80 % or whatever you do. It's the same with Sabbath. It's like you will see how miraculous it is how God helps you to get it done in the six days. And I think that's why we are passionate about this podcast, because that's what we wanna do over the next several months, ⁓ is you how to live differently the other six days of the week, ⁓ so that you can make Sabbath happen. Yes, and we want it to be enjoyable for you and your whole family. Yeah. And yeah, that means some of that comes with your kids participating. And it has them participating in the other six days of the week. I think it's helped us to learn to delegate to them. Totally. Like I think about Friday because Friday is a big prep day for us. ⁓ You know, the kids and I really work together as a team to the house ready, ⁓ the food ready. I mean, the girls are in the kitchen helping me dinner. They're helping me get the dessert done. ⁓ If we're hosting that night, everyone is hands on deck cleaning up the ⁓ getting ⁓ us ready to enter into Sabbath together. And so, yeah, I think you're Like prep. does not fall on just the mom's shoulders or just the dad's shoulders. with young kids, you can absolutely include them And letting go of the perfection piece of it. I think coming back to that, your house does not have to be perfect before Sabbath. Like last week, you I felt like we were crawling across the finish line into Sabbath. And we were very sick. and we had a very heavy work week. And we didn't get. the house totally prepped before Sabbath. I don't even think we cleaned the bathrooms beforehand and we didn't have the clothes put away. So clothes were still sitting out. I even took a picture of kitchen on Sabbath because there were so many dishes. We were so backed up with dishes, but we let them go because we're like, it's Sabbath. So we're just going to let the dishes up. And that was such a great example of like, you know what? rest is still possible when you let go and feel like you can truly set the work aside for the sake of restoration, rejuvenation, and being with your family. Yeah. I think if Sabbath has taught us anything, that there will always be more work tomorrow. Yes. Amen to that. So the to-do list is never done. So we took care of that stuff the next day. Life moved on. Yeah. And having your kids ⁓ participate as we talked about, like this is really our third anchor is, you know, your kids participate. They're not an interruption and they can participate in prep, but We also include them really in every aspect of our day. I think about our kickoff, like we don't just take as the two of us, ⁓ you and I, kick off our Sabbath. We take communion as a whole family. ⁓ And really like a moment. When we have fun, we always try to invite the kids our games or we watch something, they're gonna be there with us watching our shows with us. But when we have moments of quiet, we ask them to be quiet. When we go outside a walk, we take them with us. And we just like to have them a part of our day. ⁓ It's such a special time, especially for me I see them a lot less than you do. I love that day because I love the fact that I get to spend time with them and invite them into whatever I'm doing. Because I don't get to do that for most of the week in all honesty. Yeah, like how you said that inviting them into whatever we're doing. for me, I love to watercolor. And sometimes I do use watercolor on my own on Sabbath, but it's even more joyful when I get to bring the kids right into it and we get to paint together. ⁓ like you, for example, you're going to be going hunting in a couple weeks ⁓ and could go hunting by yourself. But we just see our kids as such a blessing that we're like, how can we bring our kids along with us? ⁓ How they be a part of the fun? ⁓ They're an interruption to the fun. They're not an annoyance. They're not a frustration. ⁓ They are the main thing for us on Sabbath. with young kids, it can get hard. know, tantrums are real thing. ⁓ Kids getting are real thing. Like these things can be hard. And yet, I think you and I see ⁓ Sabbath as they are ⁓ the They are the main thing us on When you see it in that way, you don't see those things as annoyances. You see it as this is just part of our life. This is what we have chosen and this is what we love. Yeah. I think if we could offer a reframe, it would be on that day we say we get to do these things. We get to take care of a sick kid because we've set aside the time. you can just say ⁓ I'm get to take care of him or get to change poopy diaper ⁓ Get to make lunch Right like you get to do these things because they don't last forever Yeah, is true I there's many people that are out of the stage of life and they say ⁓ I wish I could go back to when my kids were young ⁓ Because I can already see that you and I are going to grieve when we don't have littles in home anymore ⁓ because it is so joy-filled when you have littles in the house giggling and laughing and they're playing with each other and all these just wonderful noises on the Sabbath because little kids are playing. There will be a day we ⁓ that and when our Sabbaths will be quiet and will be something special about that season of life because God has something special in every ⁓ But I think that and I will truly look at each other on those quiet Sabbaths and be like, I wish there was some noise. I wish there were some giggles in this house some laughter and you know, the grandkids I'm sure will be the cherry on top of all of that. But I think, yeah, the reframe of like, this is the season we're in as parents of young kids. ⁓ get to experience ⁓ with young, joy-filled ⁓ Yeah, kids aren't Ruining our Sabbath. They're actually making it. Yeah, they're learning They're teaching us how to live it Yeah, cuz truly they're more fun than we are as adults, right? It's so true you and I sometimes will be content to just sit on the couch and like Do nothing and they're let's go outside. Let's go hiking and we're like, okay, ⁓ and then we it and we're like ⁓ that was so much fun. That was so worth it. Yeah, it was so worth it. That's absolutely right. And those moments are really important. And I think, you know, with our fourth anchor, we want you to think in moments because it is the culmination over so many years of these little moments that you will actually remember. won't remember perfection. ⁓ You're excited for the special moment we kick off. You're excited for the slow mornings we in those moments we create together. You're excited to play a game together, because you know it's going to be so much fun, or go on a hike. I like the spontaneous moments that we've done on Sabbath. Like, we've had random water balloon fights. I remember one Sabbath, the kids were napping. And do you this? This was when we lived in Green Bay. And we filled two bins of water balloons. I do remember this. And we waited for them to wake up. And we waited by the back screen door with the bins and water balloons. had no idea we were planning this. And they come out the door and we just bombed them with water balloons. And we had the best family water balloon fight just so randomly on a Sabbath afternoon. And then later we all like rejoiced with root beer floats right afterwards. But it's like those little moments, whether they're surprises or they're planned surprises, ⁓ or if it's just like, know what, we're going to like go get donuts one Saturday morning we're going to ⁓ surprise the kids and go out a movie. know, thinking of ways to kind of mix up with the kids, throwing some fun moments in there ⁓ that can really keep the ⁓ the fun And it doesn't have to that way every Sabbath. but that's the joy of Sabbath-ing every week, is you get four days a month to be creating core memories. Yeah, there's those moments of fun and then there's the moments of connection. The moment of connections around the dinner table, because that's such a special meal for our family now, because we all know we're Sabbath-ing, we just kind of linger. Yeah. Because there's nowhere to go, there's nothing to do, just that... lingering time together or on quiet mornings when we wake up and the morning is just slow. Yeah. And there's just a time of connection to talk. Everyone's in their jammies and snuggling on the couch, nowhere to be. yeah, it's just these special times that we can connect and talk and there's just no rush. ⁓ is really built on those moments and it's not all mastered in a day by any means. ⁓ But with each moment that happens, it's so encouraging. And you just want to create the next moment. And you look forward to ⁓ those moments of connection because you've created the time and the space. ⁓ I that you brought this up because that is so true. When we in such a rushed, chaotic life, that's go, go, go. ⁓ We are not leaving the white margin in our life. to just allow these beautiful moments to naturally organically happen. And so sometimes Sabbath can feel a little boring because like our kids will even say, I'm bored, know, on a Sabbath afternoon, but then it leads to something really creative and fun. But that wouldn't have happened if the bored moment didn't first exist. Or like you said, if we didn't just sit ourselves at the dinner table with the candles lit, sometimes the conversations turn in a direction where we're both looking at each other thinking, wow, this was a special moment, special conversation We ⁓ created the for it to happen. so I I love that about the It's almost like you're anticipating by ⁓ making the white space, by putting that margin on calendar and saying, you know, our family is planting the flag in the ground. ⁓ we're gonna Sabbath no matter what, we're gonna make this a non-negotiable. By saying that and putting it on the calendar, you're anticipating the cool and special moments that God has waiting for you in that time. Yeah. when you have white space, I think it's really hard when you first start to create white space because you're used to everything into your life. ⁓ You're used to work leaking in because you're used to checking your emails. You're used to checking your phone and seeing all your updates or your socials and all of that stuff. It's really, really difficult. our last anchor, I think, is really important to when you first create this white space is having grace for yourself because breaking habits, breaking... all these things that like when you're used to having all this stuff thrown at you and then things get quieter it's kind of weird and it's kind of awkward at first yeah it's really hard it's like you almost like i kind of like i had an update in an hour i need to like check my phone just to check my phone kind of like feelings totally and you might do that and then feel guilty or you might like end up working or checking emails and like we all know when you do that like You know, you accidentally check your work email and it sends you down like some spiral. It's a black hole. It's a black hole. And or you might have expectations of what you wanted that day to look like. And it just doesn't go the way you wanted it to look like. Yeah, maybe it doesn't play out as romantic as you have envisioned in your mind. Like I will do this to myself. Like I will light the candles for Sabbath dinner, you know, hoping that tonight's going to be the night where we have this just like. gorgeous moment and then everything goes wrong like the food burns in the oven or like the kids are crying at the table one kid is on the floor like messing around another kid is on her lap because she doesn't want to sit you know in her high chair and you just think like gosh this is chaos it's like beautiful chaos you know yeah and you don't want to have guilt in those moments because you can still they can still be special yeah ⁓ ⁓ we can spiral and turn them into something that is not special anymore. even think like Sabbath is a fail. Yeah. Like we are failing at Sabbath. I would say that there's definitely been Sabbath where I've had like I had this idea of what I hoped it would look like and probably mostly because I was exhausted. So I wanted it to look a certain way. And then Like the kids Kids bickering more normal. Yes, ⁓ because that is stressful ⁓ and and adds a lot of chaos. And you know, I've heard this from a couple of our students to that, ⁓ they've gotten into Sabbath or tried it out like one or two weeks. And that is the part that drove them totally crazy like why should we waste a whole day for our kids to just fighting and complaining and and fussy and you know, feels like we're actually not really resting. So like what kind of encouragement would you give to those parents that feel like maybe Sabbath is a waste of time in this season? ⁓ I would say Sabbath is opportunity for formation. And that formation never stops. So yeah, like our kids are not gonna stop fighting magically on the seventh day. Or- That would be wonderful. If they're complainers throughout the rest of the week they're not going to magically stop complaining on that day of the week or ⁓ you're potty training, like they're not going to suddenly be perfect ⁓ that seventh day of the week It's ⁓ it's really, really challenging, but those are still really important times of you're gonna have to work on them the other six days of the week. But again, can we reshape that and say, wow, this is my opportunity to spend the quality time with them and show them that I care, that I want to invest in them, that I believe in them and I enjoy being around you. Yeah, that's good. ⁓ Because we're just raising ⁓ children. We're future adults who are going rest and work. how we rest and work. we can take responsibility and say, know what? ⁓ I want to show my kids what it looks like to work hard, to rest hard, and both are equally important Here's the deal, if we don't stop working, we will eventually raise children who will become adults who never stop working. And the same things we deal with in our burnout states and our exhausted states are gonna be the same things we pass on to our children. And that will be the legacy of our family, of people who just never stop working. And don't delight in the Lord or rest in the Lord or find value. in just being with God, we feel like we always have to be doing, whether it's doing for God or just doing. And that is not the abundant life. God did not just create us to be worker bees. And I don't want that for our kids. Like, I don't want, I think when you say formation, we're helping form how they see work and rest. And if we decide to skip the Sabbath, and we skip it week after week after week. We are training our kids, we're forming them to be people who don't care about resting, who don't care about the Sabbath. they will just go into their adulthood carrying that on too. Yeah, it's our to show them that the way that God teaches us to live ⁓ is it. And it's how we're supposed to live. Uh-huh. ⁓ And... when we neglect that, then we're not gonna reflect the people that he truly made us to be. that's not the example we wanna leave for them. Yeah, so that fifth point we were making about ⁓ having grace for yourself over guilt. If you're this right now and you have older kids, maybe you have teen kids and you haven't Sabbath, but now ⁓ your eyes are opened and you are like, I wish we would have done that when the kids were little. I just want to encourage you in this moment, let that guilt go. That is not from the Lord. He does not want you to carry shame or guilt over how you might not have lived with your kids when they were younger. You might even have adult kids and you didn't raise them in this way. And we're not here guilt trip you at all. ⁓ think what we're so passionate about, because it has changed our life. And no matter what age you are, ⁓ Whether you're 99 or you are a brand new parent or newly married, you can start today to Sabbath and make way for rest and to truly just embrace it. Like you can start today even with your adult children, start having them over. If you're local, have them over for Sabbath dinner and start to introduce the principles of Sabbath even to your teenage or adult children. Like there is always hope because the gift of Sabbath always exists. Yeah, it's the gospel. It's the story of the gospel and choosing to just live it out. That is such a beautiful thing we get to do. so we encourage you to do that today. Participate the Sabbath and go back and check out our last episode if you didn't get to ⁓ do we have great conversation there. And we're looking forward to doing a lot more episodes on the Sabbath in the future. yes. ⁓ We created a resource that has 30 meaningful questions that can ask around the dinner table. They're questions that will take your conversations deeper. And you can just even offer one question at dinner table. You don't have to do all 30, actually don't do all 30. But I'm gonna put the link to that in the show notes in the description so that you download that for your family. ⁓ Print it off, have it at your Sabbath. kickoff dinner this week and give yourself a moment to just have a deeper conversation as a family. ⁓ that be a really good tool to support you. And so you don't need overhaul your life. You just need to take ⁓ one step this week towards ⁓ What could be a step, they could take for Sabbath this Well, I would say to set aside the time. Find the opportunity and if it's a few hours, that's a great place to start. If it's just saying, hey, I am not going to do anything on Saturday morning, wow, what a great place to begin. Most people can't even ⁓ that and create an intentional moment within that time. Will be that you just sit and read your Bible for a little bit? Will it be that you watch, ⁓ I know. A family show. Yeah, a family movie. Yeah. And maybe you want to be extra holy and watch The Chosen. great. But set aside some time. If you can set aside a whole day right away, great. Go for it. Like that's where I would encourage you to begin. But I also understand, as we've talked about, you have to prep for it. So give yourself some grace this week. Yeah. And set aside some time to truly rejuvenate and be God made you to be. And what he means by that is he wants you to pull out your calendar and he wants you to schedule it into your calendar. Because we are firm believers here at Legacy Roots that rhythms don't happen unless they have a timestamp. So we want you to talk to your spouse, look at your calendar this week and actually pen it in, put it in that Google calendar and make it happen. Yeah, Because Sabbath doesn't start when life slows down. It's what helps life slow down. Yeah. I see this on TV all the time people are like, ⁓ I've got to like move across the country to Montana to slow down. Yeah. Although the mountains do help. I've done it. ⁓ It's ⁓ a lot of work. It's really, really hard. that's not actually what it means to slow down in life. You can choose to do it. And so we encourage you to do that today. Right in the middle of your chaos and your story, you can choose it today. Absolutely. Well, thank you for joining us on the Rooted Family Podcast, and we look forward to seeing you next time.