Latest / Chatting with The Experts with Paula Okonneh / Legacy Planning for Women Over 50
Transcript
- 0:03Hello, hello, hello everyone, and welcome to yet another episode of Chatting
- 0:10with the Experts where I call the hosts speak with women from Africa, from
- 0:15the Caribbean, and in the diaspora.
- 0:19And these women are successful entrepreneurs and professionals.
- 0:24They share with me the mission of educating, empowering,
- 0:29and inspiring women globally.
- 0:32Today, our topic's very interesting.
- 0:34It's called The Power of the Pivot, Encore Reinvention Strategies for
- 0:41Women 50+, redefining the next chapter.
- 0:47My guest, who will be joining me in a few minutes says, gone are
- 0:50the days when turning 50 meant settling into retirement planning.
- 0:55She says, today's women over 50 are launching businesses,
- 1:00changing careers, and creating the most fulfilling chapters yet.
- 1:08She is a strategist, a speaker, and author specializing in business,
- 1:15career and life reinvention
- 1:18for women 50+.
- 1:20She's the
- 1:21author of the Encore Playbook and Methodology.
- 1:25She has helped hundreds, I almost said thousands, hundreds of women,
- 1:30transformed the second acts into the most successful chapters yet, and she
- 1:35combines practical strategy with authentic leadership instincts, empowering women
- 1:42to leverage their wisdom, resilience, and experience to build lasting
- 1:48impact and generational legacies.
- 1:52Please help me welcome to Chatting with the Experts.
- 1:57Ms Paula Washington.
- 2:00Hey, hey, hey, hey.
- 2:02Hello Paula.
- 2:02It's so nice to be on a show with you.
- 2:05Another Paula.
- 2:06It's so cool.
- 2:08Your Paula, I know, right?
- 2:10Your Paula O and Paula W. Thank you so much for having me
- 2:14. Absolutely, absolutely.
- 2:16It was thrilling when we met and I realized when we were introducing someone
- 2:20said, you know, her name is Paula too, and it's like, yes, at long last
- 2:24we can have double Paula power, right?
- 2:27Absolutely.
- 2:28Y'all better watch out.
- 2:31Coming for you today.
- 2:33Coming for you today.
- 2:36Well, I know that you said gone are the days when 10 and 50 months settling
- 2:40into retirement, you know, absolutely.
- 2:43And you know, just, you know, settling for, oh, I'm 50 and my
- 2:47years on earth are over, or my years of being fulfilling over.
- 2:51You say, that doesn't happen, or that shouldn't happen anymore.
- 2:53Let's talk about that.
- 2:55Well, you know, in my own personal journey in twenties and thirties, discovering
- 2:59who I was and experiencing downsizing and various other things that have
- 3:04happened in life and in my personal life as well, going through divorce and
- 3:07all of that at one time, I realized, wait a minute, there's gotta be more
- 3:11than life than the script I was given.
- 3:14Go to college, get married, work 30 years and retire.
- 3:17And when your life plan falls apart based on what was given to you, you
- 3:22have to kind of reinvent that and figure out, okay, what's next for me?
- 3:26So as I move forward in my career in corporate training and leadership
- 3:30development and things of that nature, I realized, wait a minute.
- 3:33I don't want what everybody said I have to have.
- 3:37Mm-hmm.
- 3:37And I need to really pivot and use the talents and the gifts that God
- 3:41gave me to manage my own time, manage my own schedule, and move forward.
- 3:46And so being forced to step up into a new realm, I created a formula called
- 3:53decade mapping where you actually map out the decades what you wanna see, where
- 3:58you are realistically, where you wanna be, and what will it take to maintain
- 4:03that lifestyle or to get to that place.
- 4:06And I realized, wow, in my fifties well, my daughter would be gone.
- 4:12I'd be an empty nester.
- 4:14Yay.
- 4:15And I would be in control of my life.
- 4:18However, along the way life happens, I was caregiving for my parents
- 4:23long-term caregiver would help my mom with my dad, and then my mom
- 4:27and my grandparents and so forth.
- 4:28And all of those in what you would call disruptions or interruptions caused
- 4:34me to look at everything differently.
- 4:36And it's not that it's over at 50, it's just beginning.
- 4:39And the number 50 means jubilee.
- 4:41So that is celebrating.
- 4:42Okay?
- 4:43So if you're in the midst of any of those situations or you're on your
- 4:48way to empty nesting, let's get planted, let's get going because
- 4:51the best really is yet to come.
- 4:53But every decade I realized.
- 4:55I was more energetic, more enthusiastic, and I was clear on who I was and
- 5:01what I wanted to do and that those roles that I had to play throughout
- 5:05life, now I dictate what's next.
- 5:10Not everyone else in every situation, in every circumstance or a job or this, or
- 5:17fear or anxiety or all of those things that chase us our whole life make us think
- 5:22we're less than or we missed the boat.
- 5:24No, we didn't miss the boat.
- 5:26We getting ready to steer the ship so.
- 5:28This is where we are.
- 5:30And so at 50, when I turned 50, it was very liberating for me.
- 5:34And then what happened?
- 5:35Then I got sick and the doctor mentioned, oh no.
- 5:38Yeah.
- 5:38And the doctor said to me, it had nothing to do with how you
- 5:41cared for yourself or anything.
- 5:43It was the culmination of what you've lived.
- 5:46So now let's go to the next stage of that and shift.
- 5:49So I did a natural process for healing for cancer and all.
- 5:53Took a, got another degree and reestablished my businesses in a
- 5:57whole different way and my life, and I found the greatest joy.
- 6:01And so now in my sixties, I look back at my fifties and I was
- 6:04like, wow, people really need to know the best is yet to come.
- 6:09And things do work out.
- 6:10May not be the way you expect.
- 6:12May not even be the way you want, but when you get on the other side of
- 6:16through, you're gonna see how you grow.
- 6:19You're gonna see the opportunities, and you're gonna know how to leverage the
- 6:22best part of you to monetize that for your next opportunity because you are actually
- 6:28now holding the pen to your own story.
- 6:33I love it because what I'm hearing from you is that life begins at 50.
- 6:37Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes it does.
- 6:41And no matter what it throws, guess what?
- 6:43You know how to catch that ball now.
- 6:45Before it was a little rough, I'm trying to figure it out.
- 6:49In your fifties, it's like, I don't care.
- 6:51You know, whatever you do.
- 6:53And in your sixties, it's like, hmm.
- 6:54And you just keep looking in different directions because everything is
- 7:00not as urgent and as important as it was at that time because you
- 7:05didn't know where you were going.
- 7:06Now we cannot actually write down everything that's
- 7:10going to happen, but we can.
- 7:12We have the wisdom now to know the natural things that will happen
- 7:16and be prepared for those things.
- 7:18We also have the wisdom now to leverage what we know and who we are
- 7:23to show up and be the best person in the room to build those authentic
- 7:28connections and relationships where we trust others and they trust us.
- 7:33And number one, we trust ourselves.
- 7:35One of the things that I've found in coaching and working with women
- 7:39and providing, you know, different strategies and pathways for them is
- 7:43they lose trust and confidence in themselves because of the hits of life.
- 7:47Life can hit you to a degree like you wondering, wait, I don't know which way
- 7:53to go, and you're standing around, looking around like, huh, you know, and because of
- 7:58that, sometimes you don't wanna try again.
- 8:00Sometimes you don't wanna get back up again.
- 8:03And sometimes, you know, your faith gets shaken.
- 8:05You're like, God, really?
- 8:06Are you there?
- 8:07Did you walk away?
- 8:08Or, what's happening here?
- 8:10And it's just right helping you to recognize who you really are inside and
- 8:14the resilience and the power you have.
- 8:17And so when we are talking about pivoting, that's being able to move on a dime.
- 8:21And the reason we can move on a dime now because we have the wisdom
- 8:25and the hard-earned experience.
- 8:28This did not come.
- 8:30You're not gonna get it in your twenties.
- 8:32You're not gonna get it in your thirties.
- 8:33It's not gonna happen until you get to the other side where you are
- 8:37looking at what's in front of you.
- 8:39Mm-hmm.
- 8:41The years in front of you are less than the years behind you, but
- 8:45they are the most significant, they are the most powerful.
- 8:49They are the legacy years that the experience is phenomenal and only
- 8:55you are the one that can determine if that's the direction you wanna go.
- 8:59I love that.
- 9:00You know, you said something next.
- 9:03Really jumped out at me that we have to realize that the years ahead of
- 9:07us are less than the years behind us.
- 9:10But what I hear from that too is that, and the years behind us, you know, we've had
- 9:14experiences that can help us, you know.
- 9:17Exactly.
- 9:19Because many times, you know, people look, oh my gosh, I don't, I'm in
- 9:22my sixties or seventies and yeah.
- 9:25You know, statistically we don't have that many years ahead of us, but you
- 9:29can look behind and take what you learned behind and use that to prep
- 9:33up what's you experiencing right now?
- 9:35What's ahead of you.
- 9:37Exactly.
- 9:38Do you know the world?
- 9:39Exactly, because, you know, Forbes has a article that the majority
- 9:44of entrepreneurs start in their fifties and sixties for women because
- 9:50why we are no longer caregiving.
- 9:53We're no longer you know, parenting, we're out of the roles that confined
- 9:58us into a particular pathway.
- 10:01Mm-hmm.
- 10:01Those roles don't define who we are in the future, but they help shape the
- 10:07expertise, the natural talent we have, and our brilliance of intelligence to take
- 10:14that, package it and move forward with it.
- 10:16You know, now we are the chairwoman.
- 10:19We actually need to get an Oscar for our own performance.
- 10:22Yeah, I love it.
- 10:24If you make it to this stage in life, baby, you have been through some things
- 10:28and you have done some stuff, okay?
- 10:30Mm-hmm.
- 10:30And so in my on work framework, I have six pillars of reinvention.
- 10:35I have exit with intention, okay?
- 10:37So, you know, we're gonna go through transitions in life.
- 10:40And because those things are gonna happen.
- 10:43Okay, let's look at what's the next transition you wanna go through.
- 10:46Whether you wanna leave the job or you're moving to another city, or
- 10:49you're whatever it is in relationships.
- 10:51Let's outline that.
- 10:53Strategize about the best options available and put a timeline
- 10:57and a communication plan, and who's gonna be affected by that.
- 11:01Then next we go to navigate the new.
- 11:03This is charting with clarity in uncertain terms.
- 11:07In other words, after the crazy and the chaos is over and that
- 11:11we created, I happen to have been the fire in the frying pan.
- 11:15And then after cut out realize, hold up, I need to change.
- 11:18Okay.
- 11:19Because everybody else is not moving and not changes after we've owned all
- 11:23of us, and we look and the dust settles.
- 11:27Now we're moving forward into a new territory we've never been.
- 11:30You've never been 50, you've never been 60, 70, 80, 90, whatever.
- 11:34Yep.
- 11:34But the good thing about it's you've got all of those years behind you.
- 11:38So we're not come trying to recreate the past.
- 11:40We are trying to leverage that for our future.
- 11:44And the only way we can do that is through C is the commitment,
- 11:48communication, and connection.
- 11:50In order to move forward in anything in life, you have to be committed.
- 11:58You've gotta be committed to yourself and to the goals and objectives that
- 12:03you have set forth and committed to the values that you have in your life,
- 12:08your shared vision and core values in order to communicate that properly,
- 12:12to connect with other individuals.
- 12:15Because we are not an island by ourself.
- 12:17We are our best when we're with others, where we can share who we
- 12:20are and bring out the brilliance in who they are and vice versa.
- 12:25And we are building those solid, authentic relationships.
- 12:28And as we get older, we really know how to tap into that and we really
- 12:33know how to leverage those things.
- 12:35It's more important, relationships become more important because people are here
- 12:40today and may not be here tomorrow.
- 12:41So in my sixties, I'm looking at, you know, when I had all these family
- 12:45members pass away five years ago and they were all in their nineties and you
- 12:50know, from 89 to 97 and I said, hold up.
- 12:53What am I gonna do with my time left?
- 12:55You know, I may have 30, 40 years left.
- 12:58Okay?
- 12:58That's the best years in front of me because I'm free to be me and enjoy that.
- 13:04So then there's the opportunity, there's the oh, in Encore, creating,
- 13:08seizing, and aligning your opportunities around the the strategy that you
- 13:14develop that you want to see in the next decade, and then back into that.
- 13:19So we have the next decade.
- 13:21For me it's 70.
- 13:22Okay?
- 13:22So now from 60 to 70, I have something I need to do every
- 13:26year to get to where I wanna be.
- 13:29If you're 40, if you're 50, you're gonna back into it.
- 13:32And that keeps you focused and it keeps you on track.
- 13:35And then you are constantly assessing and then you celebrate your wins and celebrate
- 13:40all the milestones along the way.
- 13:42You learn and you adapt.
- 13:44And we accept, just accept what is.
- 13:48Every opportunity, we're gonna season and line it.
- 13:51Some may work, some may not.
- 13:52But at this stage we have the option of what risks we will
- 13:56take and what risks we want.
- 13:58Yes.
- 13:59And then we, yes, and then we look for relevances in the R,
- 14:03setting resonant progressive goals.
- 14:07Don't go coming up with all these lofty ideas that you cannot do.
- 14:11Can we just be realistic here?
- 14:14Let's be relevant of what's happening in your life today.
- 14:17What's happening in the world today?
- 14:18If it's a business or a career, you're moving forward to, what are the resonant,
- 14:22progressive goals that you can lend your time, energy, and talent to,
- 14:26that you are looking to get paid for?
- 14:29Yes.
- 14:29You know, it's time to get paid the value of what you are worth
- 14:32and who you are, and that's only gonna happen if you have a plan.
- 14:35Let's align that plan and then move towards it progressively.
- 14:40So then E is the last letter in the Encore, and that's for
- 14:44excellence, your personal trademark.
- 14:49Each one of us have a standard of excellence, that we are the go-to person.
- 14:54Like Ms. Paula O is the go-to person for this podcast, TV show, all that she does.
- 15:00She's the woman that has evolved in her reinvent and everybody
- 15:04wants to be on her show.
- 15:06Why?
- 15:06Yes.
- 15:06Because she's mastered who she is, and she is proud of it.
- 15:10And so, we have to get to that place in ourselves.
- 15:15Yeah.
- 15:15And it's a journey and it's fun.
- 15:17It has highs and lows, but we know how to overcome.
- 15:20We know that, you know, sometimes it may be a little cloudy or maybe
- 15:25have some shadows, but we can see the North Star through that
- 15:28because we've already been there.
- 15:30Yeah, I love your Encore framework.
- 15:34Oh my gosh.
- 15:35I was looking at it and writing it down and saying, woo hoo.
- 15:42Not loud enough for you all to hear you in the audience, but for me to
- 15:46internalize it and say, this is great.
- 15:48Exit with intention.
- 15:49Navigate the new.
- 15:51Commitment, communication, connections, opportunities, creating seasons.
- 15:56Relevant, that's very important.
- 15:59Setting resonate, and realistic goal.
- 16:02Excellence- your personal trademark, oh my God, did I get them all?
- 16:08You got them all and you got them perfectly.
- 16:11That is wonderful.
- 16:12Yes.
- 16:14I'm gonna put this up.
- 16:16Paste it on my mirror in my bathroom and look at it every day because, you
- 16:19know, as you rightfully said, as you hit your sixties, where I am in that
- 16:24same, on that same floor with you.
- 16:25Mm-hmm.
- 16:26You realize that, yeah, some things you did, but not quite, you know?
- 16:31Mm-hmm.
- 16:31Learn from it.
- 16:32It's time to move on.
- 16:34Exactly.
- 16:35And so that exit with intention is important because it is not just exiting,
- 16:39but making sure that you've got a plan, which is what you're talking about.
- 16:43Yes.
- 16:43And one of the things that people, what I've learned to do is take the business
- 16:47strategies and align them with life.
- 16:49Mm-hmm.
- 16:50Because they work.
- 16:51Mm-hmm.
- 16:51In business, we always have an exit strategy.
- 16:54Yes.
- 16:54When we're doing risk management and stuff, any plan, any program, anything we
- 16:58are gonna create, we have a exit strategy.
- 17:01Why not in life?
- 17:02As we were growing up from home to elementary school, we
- 17:05had orientation elementary to middle, high school, college.
- 17:09You go on your jobs, they give your orientation, but
- 17:11there is no playbook for life.
- 17:13Yeah.
- 17:15So, you know, now in my Encore years, which are my best years, and if you look
- 17:20at so many women who have been extremely successful in their sixties and seventies,
- 17:25which I put in my book and eighties and so forth, it's because of the culmination
- 17:30of the wisdom and expertise that they have learned over the years, and now they're
- 17:35the most powerful they've ever been.
- 17:37They're the most secure in who they are.
- 17:40They are the most confident and courageous because they know how to stand.
- 17:45See, if you've never been through nothing, you don't know what to do.
- 17:48You gonna fall apart at everything.
- 17:49You know, most everybody's so weakened now.
- 17:52Let me not get on that train anyhow, but you know.
- 17:57You have to have adversity.
- 17:59It's gonna happen.
- 18:00Yes.
- 18:00You're gonna go through.
- 18:01You're gonna go through.
- 18:02The most challenging thing is I've experienced, I've found not only just
- 18:07my own health challenges, but just caregiving and caregiving for the persons
- 18:11that have brought you in the earth and now you are looking at them slowly
- 18:16slipping away in whatever capacity it is.
- 18:19That whole realm changes you for life.
- 18:24It does.
- 18:25I mean, once you finish that caregiving role, you are never
- 18:30the same human being after that.
- 18:32And when you finish that caregiving role, you are the best human being you ever was.
- 18:39Because for me it helped me look at my mortality and like,
- 18:43okay, God, you know what?
- 18:45What's your plan this time?
- 18:46'cause I know what I did.
- 18:48So let's look at what you really wanna do.
- 18:52You gotta have faith.
- 18:52I mean, the only two people got real faith are the entrepreneurs
- 18:56and those who have been ill.
- 18:58Because you gotta believe God for everything.
- 19:00Okay.
- 19:00And I'm not saying
- 19:03other two people,
- 19:07because entrepreneurs believe God for what?
- 19:09Everything.
- 19:10Okay.
- 19:10Every penny.
- 19:11Every penny.
- 19:12Every day when the phone is ringing.
- 19:15All of these things.
- 19:16And then when you're ill.
- 19:17Yes.
- 19:18That's so true.
- 19:19And especially people who are terminally ill.
- 19:22Yes.
- 19:23And God wakes 'em up every day.
- 19:25Come on now.
- 19:25Yes.
- 19:26You know, and they're not on a machine or something like that.
- 19:29Yes.
- 19:29You know, and then those who are caring for those who are ill, not just the
- 19:34family members, which is huge and I talk about that in my book, but the
- 19:38hospice, the nurses, the doctors, everyone that comes in contact with
- 19:44the individual that needs care.
- 19:46Mm-hmm.
- 19:47You know, they have a personal life as well.
- 19:50And they're pouring out of their heart to give to help you.
- 19:53Yes.
- 19:53That individual live you are pouring out of every fiber of your being
- 19:59to keep the ship going to the degree sometimes you don't even
- 20:02remember all about your own ship.
- 20:03Yeah.
- 20:04So I remember I forgot to pay my own bills.
- 20:06Okay.
- 20:07Because I was taking care of everything else.
- 20:09I didn't even know what was going on.
- 20:12One of my cousins called me on the phone.
- 20:13He said, Paula, whatcha doing?
- 20:14I said, I thought I'm doing all the estate stuff and this
- 20:17and that and the other thing.
- 20:18Oh, you're the POA?
- 20:19I said, yes.
- 20:20He said, well, did you take care of yourself?
- 20:22Thanks for reminding me.
- 20:25He said, well, you finish all of that, gimme a call back, and I wanna make
- 20:30sure you get your stuff together.
- 20:34And that was such a great conversation because all of us at that time were
- 20:37losing our last parent, and it was just so nice to laugh, you know?
- 20:42Yes.
- 20:43Someone that understood it.
- 20:45Understood.
- 20:46Yes.
- 20:47Because during that season, you need the support.
- 20:49And I talk about the fact it's not just the financials.
- 20:52That's a given.
- 20:53I mean, my father designated me as POA and end of life decisions at 35.
- 20:58He said it over dinner that they went on a cruise.
- 21:01Okay.
- 21:01So it was like I had a full list together.
- 21:04Okay.
- 21:05Who knew in the next couple of years, we were gonna have to take care of him.
- 21:08So I'm just saying that those things in life, they take every bit of who
- 21:14you thought you were out and you learn, not only do you understand
- 21:19your own resilience and who you really are, but there's a beauty that comes
- 21:24through you that you never experienced.
- 21:27And there's joy.
- 21:28And so the more mature we get, the better We become like fine wine, you
- 21:34know, like a beautiful little flower that buds through the ground and it
- 21:39took all that time to burst through.
- 21:41And then you see those little leaves and then it grows up into a big,
- 21:44beautiful bush of roses or a tree, or, you know, and all those things.
- 21:49Nature has a way of just showing us evolution of who we are.
- 21:55Yeah.
- 21:56Ooh.
- 21:57Yeah, you are so right.
- 22:00Especially, you know, when you talk about, you know, I have become an
- 22:03avid gardener, but not for flowers.
- 22:06I wish I could say.
- 22:07And in addition to that too, you know, like planting edible...
- 22:11Mm-hmm.
- 22:12Mm-hmm.
- 22:12Things but I'm not there yet.
- 22:14We'll get there.
- 22:14Mm-hmm.
- 22:15But what you said is so true.
- 22:16You know, you put something in the ground and you don't know all the
- 22:19workload's going on, and then it emerges as a beautiful flower and
- 22:23you're like, wow, look at that.
- 22:25Mm-hmm.
- 22:26And that's the same thing with life.
- 22:28And that's the same thing as you said at this stage of life.
- 22:31All those ups and down adversities, you know, the good times and not
- 22:35so good times are all enabling you to blossom into, for the most part,
- 22:41into this wonderfully poised 50+ year old woman with a lot of experience.
- 22:47Mm-hmm.
- 22:47A lot of, you know, gifts that you can share with others so much more than,
- 22:53you know, sometimes we even think.
- 22:54Mm-hmm.
- 22:55'cause you know, you talked about my podcast, it's taken me like
- 22:5813 years to get to where I am.
- 23:00I started in 2012 not really knowing what I was doing.
- 23:03Exactly.
- 23:03That about the calling, you know, and here we are.
- 23:05Yes.
- 23:06And look at how you know, that's another thing people think,
- 23:09oh you're overnight wonder.
- 23:11No, you are not.
- 23:12You in the background over the years making it happen, you
- 23:16are learning new technologies.
- 23:17Yes.
- 23:17You're going through the highs and lows of the industry.
- 23:20You're going through competitors, you're going through so many different things.
- 23:24In the background is where everything is built because when you think about
- 23:27a rose and it comes through and it's a tea rose and it's colds real tight,
- 23:32then it starts to open and open and open, and then that aroma comes out.
- 23:36And then wherever that rose is, you smell that aroma.
- 23:39So just as a woman, just as you starting a podcast in 2012, the
- 23:44aroma, the work speaks for itself.
- 23:48And so you have a catalog of work that speaks for itself.
- 23:53So now you don't have to talk.
- 23:55Like you see the pink roses behind me.
- 23:57They're just sitting there smelling.
- 24:01They just smelling good and looking good...
- 24:03and looking good
- 24:05And looking good, being fine and foxy any way they wanna be today.
- 24:09You know, I put a little stuff in there to help them stay perky but bottom line,
- 24:13at the end of the day, this is who we are.
- 24:17Amen.
- 24:18Amen.
- 24:18Amen.
- 24:19Well, before we join the rest.
- 24:21I mean, we invite people to join us and ask you question.
- 24:25You mentioned at the beginning of our conversation decade mapping.
- 24:30Yes.
- 24:30Let's talk about that.
- 24:31I mean, that's so interesting.
- 24:32Decade mapping.
- 24:33Yes.
- 24:34It's not a term I've heard in the, you know, before.
- 24:37So can you talk a little bit about that?
- 24:39Yes.
- 24:40I created
- 24:40a decade map from the
- 24:41ages 20 to 90.
- 24:44And I did that, you know, as I was going through my journeys in my
- 24:47thirties and forties and so forth, and a lot of the leadership development
- 24:51and all the training I created, I would also use it in my afterschool
- 24:55programs for entrepreneurs young women.
- 24:58And they enjoyed it because now they had to map where they wanted to be.
- 25:03Mm-hmm.
- 25:04I was mapping where I came from and what I need to happen now because
- 25:10I'm in the midst of the crazy, okay.
- 25:12I'm in the midst of life.
- 25:14And so the decade mapping is actually I have all the categories of life, personal,
- 25:19professional occupational, which is different from professional because you go
- 25:23from either a career in a work environment into an entrepreneurial experience,
- 25:29a passion project or something.
- 25:31A lot of women wanna be on boards.
- 25:33They want to set up nonprofits and things of that nature.
- 25:36Then you go into the financial aid of it, and then you're
- 25:39also looking at the social.
- 25:41So now we're have a whole life of your own corporation, if you will, . And
- 25:48then, so at the time that I created it, I did it till 90 because I had
- 25:52the research, I had the relationships, and I was interviewing people in their
- 25:57nineties, you know, I can extend it to a hundred, but I'm leaving it where it is.
- 26:01And then every decade you have put in there at least one or two things you want.
- 26:07Then when you get to the legacy side of your life, you're looking at what do you
- 26:11want to leave as you go and as you grow, because we leave a legacy every day,
- 26:18a smile, a hug a kind word, whatever.
- 26:21That's a legacy to another human being.
- 26:23But what do you want the next generation in your lineage not
- 26:27to have to start over and do?
- 26:30Not just economically, but what are you gonna leave behind?
- 26:34So if at 90 you're ready, you're saying, I've set up this, I've set up that.
- 26:38I've set up that.
- 26:39Now how are we gonna get there?
- 26:41Well, wherever you are currently, we're gonna back into it.
- 26:45So every year, within the decade you're in, you are going
- 26:49towards that ultimate goal.
- 26:52And the short term goals in between.
- 26:54And so now when you have 10 years to acquire or aspire to where you really
- 27:00wanna be, that takes the pressure off.
- 27:03Because what I realized is three, five year plans doesn't
- 27:06work because guess what?
- 27:08You have a life happening.
- 27:09You have someone ill in your family.
- 27:12All these women and men that have been laid off 300,000
- 27:16people have been laid off.
- 27:18Women have been laid off.
- 27:19Okay?
- 27:20They ain't no three, five year plan for that.
- 27:22No.
- 27:23You know what I'm saying?
- 27:24No.
- 27:24There's nothing for that.
- 27:26The company could go bankrupt and then your pension of 401k is gone.
- 27:30What?
- 27:30Mm-hmm.
- 27:31So within 10 years, you can rebound, recoup, reclaim, reignite, restart,
- 27:39whatever re look needs to be.
- 27:41But reinvention is always there.
- 27:44Mm.
- 27:45Because I always know where I wanna show up and what I wanna show up and be,
- 27:49and I wanna be the best version of me.
- 27:52This is so good.
- 27:53This is so good.
- 27:54The decade mapping, is that in your book?
- 27:57Yes, it's in my book.
- 27:58I have a whole course, the Power of Decades, and it's been in my book,
- 28:01it's been in my catalog for oh many, even over 20 years because it's
- 28:07evolved as I evolved, you know, so.
- 28:10And that's a beautiful thing about it.
- 28:12I love the whole decade mapping that kept me on track, kept
- 28:15me focused, and gave me hope.
- 28:18You know, loss is with hope and grief is no hope.
- 28:24And so during the losses of life where I had to grieve for things I had
- 28:28hope because I saw where I was going.
- 28:31I remember one time my father was in the hospital, everybody
- 28:33was upset and crazy and all that.
- 28:37And I was like, well, the sickness is on to death, he's not dying.
- 28:40Okay, we just gonna have to walk through this.
- 28:41So I have a tear down one eye and I'm writing a business plan in
- 28:44another for women's foundation.
- 28:47Here we go.
- 28:48And I ran that organization for over 12 years.
- 28:50I've had clients in corporate wanting to exit out one in particular and
- 28:56she wanted to exit in 18 months and she said, I wanna set up my business.
- 29:00My husband's setting up another business and we wanna do this, this, and this.
- 29:03So we put it all together.
- 29:05Long story short, her division got cut.
- 29:07She was able to take that actual plan and negotiate the best deals she could
- 29:12'cause she was a C-suite executive.
- 29:15And then when she exited, a family member got ill and she had the caregiver,
- 29:21but she was in position because why?
- 29:24She had a plan.
- 29:25Someone else would've been, oh I'm not gonna do what I wanna
- 29:28do, and no, she had a plan.
- 29:31Okay, so I'm not gonna do that now a hundred percent, but I can work
- 29:36on it in the background, which I call it playing with your toys.
- 29:40It makes you happy.
- 29:42Love.
- 29:42Yes.
- 29:43Playing with your toys.
- 29:44Play with your toys.
- 29:45Yeah.
- 29:45Go in the room.
- 29:46Play with your toys.
- 29:46I don't care if it's Jacks.
- 29:48Whatever you like to do, double touch.
- 29:49I don't care.
- 29:50Call it playing with your toys because why?
- 29:53Now I know I'm going to do this once I get through this.
- 29:58And as I go through this, I'll have more freedom as I go along.
- 30:02I told a client the other day, she's parent with small children and she
- 30:06is like, I'm so exhausted, I'm gonna get, I said, listen, the older they
- 30:10get, the more freedom you have and the more economic responsibility you have.
- 30:15However...
- 30:16Absolutely.
- 30:16You'll have more energy to create something along the way
- 30:20in the background just for you.
- 30:23So how does that make you feel?
- 30:26Oh, it's not so bad.
- 30:27I'm like, yeah, not so bad.
- 30:30So,
- 30:31mm-hmm.
- 30:32Loving it.
- 30:33Loving it.
- 30:34Well, we need to have time for the audience, who I'm sure
- 30:36are waiting to talk with you.
- 30:38Yes.
- 30:38Yes.
- 30:38To ask you more questions like on some of the biggest mistakes that women make
- 30:44when trying to reinvent themselves.
- 30:46I think that's a great, great question.
- 30:48Audience, if you haven't thought about asking that question to
- 30:51Paula, that Paula, Paula W.
- 30:54Haha, looking forward to chatting with all of you.
- 30:57It's gonna be so exciting.
- 31:00Exactly.
- 31:01So where can you be found online?
- 31:03Because anyone who hasn't been in the audience and is watching this later on.
- 31:07We want to just get in touch with you and people find online.
- 31:11Okay.
- 31:11You could.
- 31:11Mm-hmm.
- 31:12You could go to my website, paulawashington.com.
- 31:15You can go LinkedIn at Paula Washington MBA.
- 31:18And also I just lost a YouTube channel called the Encore Playbook.
- 31:22So that's at Paula Washington.
- 31:25And so you can find me online.
- 31:26You can set up a free discovery call.
- 31:28I'll be glad to have a chat with you.
- 31:31Absolutely.
- 31:32Are you on Instagram or Facebook and those?
- 31:35I'm on Instagram at, I'm Paula Washington and I am on Facebook,
- 31:40but I don't remember what it is.
- 31:42Don't worry.
- 31:44Don't worry, we'll find you.
- 31:45Yeah.
- 31:46So, all of those, you'll find me, and it's so funny sometimes people
- 31:50put my name in and Paula Washington, Denzel Washington's wife comes up.
- 31:54It's real.
- 31:55And then I'm down there on the bottom underneath, so it's really
- 31:58funny that a lot on YouTube.
- 32:00So it's real funny.
- 32:01But you'll find me, paulawashington.com has all my information and my LinkedIn is
- 32:07very active, so you'll be able to find me.
- 32:11Absolutely.
- 32:11And for those of you who are watching this later on, you've
- 32:16just heard the other Paula.
- 32:17We are amazing, but she is the other amazing Paula and if you'd like to be
- 32:21a guest on the show just like she has been, reach out to me on my website,
- 32:25which is chattingwiththeexperts.com.
- 32:28I'm also on LinkedIn, very active on LinkedIn as Paula Okonneh.
- 32:32I have a page there as well, Chatting with the Experts.
- 32:35I am on IG.
- 32:37My handle there is at chat_experts_podcast.
- 32:42I'm glad I get it right now.
- 32:44I didn't at first.
- 32:46I'm also on Facebook as Paula Okonneh and I too have a YouTube channel that ask for
- 32:52you to subscribe because I've got amazing, amazing, amazing women who have shared
- 32:59their expertise on my YouTube channel, you get an opportunity to see them.
- 33:05And so now we open up the floor to all who joined us.
- 33:08And any question that I haven't answered or I haven't asked, not answered,
- 33:13the other Paula is answering them.
- 33:14Please feel free to ask.
- 33:16Thank you, Paula, for saying yes to being a guest on Chatting with the Experts.
- 33:22I enjoyed every minute of it.
- 33:24I did too.
- 33:24And thank you so much for having me.
- 33:26This has been a blast.
- 33:28All right.